Cockatoo

Cockatoo Part 29

Nikkie Silk

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My heart skipped a beat as I heard Shane's voice from behind me and felt his hand on my shoulder. It couldn't be, I thought, I must be so tired I was hallucinating. Alex said, `Hi Shane, glad you could join us.' Nin looked as if she had seen a ghost, Areeya was smiling in welcome and I felt like I would pass out. The hand moved off my shoulder and Shane's massive frame came into sight.

Hi Nin, Hi Areeya.' he said, then paused and looked at me, Hi Jamie, how are you? You look gorgeous babe.'

I looked at Shane and then Alex and back at Shane. It was clear Alex knew Shane, but for a moment I was so shocked I couldn't think straight, and then in a flash everything was clear.

It was all a setup wasn't it?' I said, The dinner the night before we went, and then Shane coming across to us at the table? It was for him to get a good luck at Nin and me, wasn't it? Then, Shane coincidentally bumping into us on the ferry and tagging along.'

Alex smiled nervously as she waited for my reaction. Shane's face was a picture, trying to look innocent, but seeming to be more embarrassed than anything.

`Alex, I swear one day you will go too far and either I'll have a heart attack or I will kill you for one of these stunts. But it won't be this time, because I am so glad this guy was around, he was awesome.'

I stood up and gave Shane a hug and a kiss on the cheek and I heard Alex and Areeya let out the breaths they had been holding and Shane grinned. Nin leapt up and wrapped her arms around his waist and was saying Khap Khun Kha Shane.' He put his arm around me and said, I'm sorry but Alex and I agreed it would be better not to tell you who I was. It seemed to be the best idea.'

I said, `Shane, you have nothing to apologise for, but Alex. that's a different story.'

`Aw, look, Jamie, Alex was only looking out for you.'

I know, Shane and that's why I love her.' I went over to her and gave her a kiss and said, Thanks Alex, I forgive you, I am so glad you did it.'

Alex looked relieved, `I didn't want you and Nin out there on your own, knowing the amount of trouble you can get into, so I asked Shane to keep an eye on you. I'm pretty glad I did.'

Areeya went off to fetch more beers for us all and we sat down again, Shane perching precariously on a chair.

`How do you know Shane then?' I asked Alex.

Oh, we go back a bit,' said Alex, he did close protection work for a couple of people who Kritsada wanted me to be friendly with, and we hit it off.' A look flashed between the two of them and it was obvious they had more than just hit it off.

`Look, I was here on Samui with me mates like I told you. Alex knew I was here, and she asked me to do her a favour and I was glad to oblige. It was a fun trip, wasn't it?'

Fun wasn't the word I would have used, but I wasn't going to argue with him. Areeya arrived back with more beers and we toasted to us all coming back in one piece.

Nin said, `So what did you do when you got to Bangkok, Shane?'

He grinned, 'Well I kind of followed you two and stayed in the background so I could keep tabs on you.'

Wait a minute,' I said, Nin, didn't you say there were a bunch of Aussies having a fight in the bar?'

She nodded. `So was that you too, Shane?'

Shane looked embarrassed, `Yeah, well sorta. When that copper fella took you in the back, I rustled up some Aussies in the street and told them there was free beer in the bar for Aussies. When they found out it wasn't free, it all kicked off. Those coppers didn't fancy the trouble, and they fetched the guy with you pretty sharpish. I wished I could have got you out sooner, having heard what you said.'

`That's twice you've gotten me out of a very tight spot, thank you.'

`You're welcome Jamie, or is it James, I'm not sure what to call you.'

Alex laughed, `Dressed like that, let's stick to Jamie, shall we?'

Areeya said, `I'm feeling hungry so what don't we go down to Cockatoo first, then come back here for some food.'

Er, people,' I said, I can't go like this, I'll have to change.'

Everyone turned to look at me in amazement. Alex said, Jamie, you look great, I promise you will be fine. You've had no problems so far so come on, let's get going.' She grabbed my hand and pulled me up, and the rest of them followed us down the stairs. We walked slowly down the strip to Cockatoo, Shane flanked by Nin and Areeya, with Alex and I arm in arm separately. Shane attracted lots of attention, with many of the girls giggling openly as he passed by with Areeya and Nin on each arm. He didn't seem to mind, he was happy enough being the centre of attention. We arrived at Cockatoo as the bar was getting busy and Areeya disappeared to check on something in the office. The bar girls shrieked when they saw Nin with Shane on her arm, and they clustered around them both, with Nin being interrogated about Shane I guessed. I stood with Alex and watched. She was great, you know.' I whispered to Alex, `It was a good idea for her to come with me. She kept me going, especially after Jandaeng.'

I noticed you two looked very close when you got back.' said Alex. I looked at her to see if she meant anything by the remark, but it seemed to be quite innocent. Pao appeared from the back and shooed the bar girls away from Shane and Nin. She also managed to clear an area at the back of the bar so we could all sit down. Pao spotted Alex, came across, gave me a strange look and said to Alex, Where Mr James? He not come tonight?'

Alex giggled, and I turned bright red. I let go of Alex's arm and said, Sawasdee Kha, Pao.' She looked at me puzzled, and then her mouth dropped open, Is that you, Mr James?'

`It's Jamie, Pao, not James tonight.' I said.

Pao looked from me to Alex and then back to me. She was trying to say something, but the words would not come. Alex said something to her in Thai and Pao started to giggle, You look very nice Miss Jamie, I pleased to meet you.' I bent down, kissed her cheek and whispered, I'm very glad to see you Pao, would you like to go short time or maybe long time with me?' She blushed and giggled like a schoolgirl and ran off back behind the bar.

`What did you say to her?' asked Alex.

`Oh nothing much.'

Bloody liar, I should have brought the cock cage with me.' But she laughed and punched my arm. Nin looks very keen on Shane.'

`We both know about Shane,' I said.

`He told you?'

Yeah, well I guessed really, and then he admitted he was gay, told me his story about the army and Niall transitioning, so yes, I know.' I paused and asked the question I had been dreading ever since Shane had shown up. What did Shane tell you about the trip? I assume he was keeping in touch with you all the time?'

Nothing much, only the outline of what was going on. Although from what I can see he seems to have kept back a lot. Why do you ask?' she said, looking closely at me. I looked over and Nin was waving to us to join them. Come on,' I said, `let's go join the others.' I realised I would have to answer the question sometime.

We stayed in the bar for an hour or so, chatting and drinking. The word had got round the bar girls about me, and there was a constant stream of them passing close by where we were, looking and giggling. Alex went to the toilet and Shane moved over sit next to me, `You do look good, Jamie. That outfit suits you so well.'

`Thank you Shane and thank you for everything you did for us. Especially what you did in the bar, it couldn't have come at a better time.'

`You're pretty tough yourself, you know. What you went through would have freaked out a lot of people.'

`Shane, I need to say something. I am so embarrassed about what happened in the hotel. I mean, not about what happened, but you knew I wasn't transitioning and then I came on to you and well...'

He paused, then looked at me, `Jamie, nothing happened in the hotel. I don't intend to tell Alex about anything which happened, or didn't happen there, if that's what you're worried about.'

I hesitated, `Thank you, but that's not my point, I'm embarrassed for myself, making a fool of myself in front of you.'

He looked surprised. `Jamie, you didn't make a fool of yourself. You were lonely and tired and maybe a bit scared, you wanted some company, I think. That's all. I liked you, still do, and if that's all it ever is, then I'm happy. What nearly happened doesn't matter.'

I like you too, Shane.' I kissed his cheek quickly and then turned away to see Alex watching us from the bar. She waved to me to come over, and I half expected her to ask about the kiss, instead she said, Let's get everyone back for some food, I guess you're tired as well.'

We rounded everybody up and headed off back to the restaurant. We had a wonderful dinner on one of the round tables the restaurant had for large groups. Pao came down to join us and sat opposite, unable to keep her eyes off me. What was surprising to me as how comfortable I now felt dressed as I was. Only three nights before I had gone out dressed as a woman for the first time and I had been terrified. Now, I was more at ease with myself, not so nervous about being outed. I caught myself looking at how the girls behaved, how graciously they moved their hands and fingers, and I tried to copy them. In a crazy way I felt proud of what had done over the past few days. I had begun to enjoy living as a woman but I was going to go back to being a man after tonight, and I already realised I would miss it.

The energy around the table began to ebb and first Pao left to go back to the bar, then Nin said she had to go too. We all hugged and kissed her, and she cried a little as she and I hugged. I had grown close to her, and I was looking forward to seeing her again when we went to Bangkok. Shane stood up, `I should go too, guys, it's getting late.'

No way, Shane,' said Alex, Let's go have a nightcap before you go. We owe you big time.'

So, we headed back up to the balcony and sat watching a vast electrical storm crackle and flash in the distance. I organised the drinks, brandies for Alex and Areeya and Scotch for Shane and me. The storm was moving our way, and we felt the wind picking up as it approached. Before long, big raindrops began to crash down, and we headed inside to finish our drinks. Alex was next to me on one couch and Shane and Areeya on the other.

`So,' said Alex, 'What happened the night you spent together in the hotel?'

`Nothing!' say Shane and I in unison, making it sound the complete opposite.

Alex laughed. `You two sound like kids caught with your hands in the candy jar.'

`Look, nothing happened Alex. The three of us shared a room, Nin and Jamie took the bed and I slept on the floor.' Shane was being mostly truthful.

`That's right, we got up early the next day and headed off to Bangkok.' I added, hoping Alex would let it go.

The storm which had been threatening finally broke, and the rain began lashing against the glass. The lightning flickered through the trees which were bending and shaking from the force of the wind. We were all quiet for a few minutes, content to watch the storm throw itself against the island.

Areeya stood up, `I should check the boat. This is a bad one. She's on the jetty, but I need to check the moorings.'

Shane stood up too, `I'll come with you Areeya, I don't like the idea of you being out there on your own.'

I felt I should ask if I should go as well, but Areeya said no, she and Shane would check the lines. It wouldn't take too long. They left, closing the door against the shrieking of the wind.

Alex walked over, hitched up her skirt and straddled me, pinning me against the back of the sofa. I wrapped my arms round her and we kissed, our tongues sparring with each other. She hugged me close and whispered, `I'm so glad you're back and I'm sorry for what happened to you.'

`I know, but it wasn't anybody's fault except Jandaeng, and I'm going to get him back for it.'

Alex pulled back, a frown on her face. `You have to be careful with him, he's a snake.'

`Yes, but if you cut off the head even a snake can't hurt you.'

`You're going to kill him?' She looked horrified.

I laughed, `No. I want him to suffer. Not sure how yet, but I'll come up with a way.'

I kissed her again, and she began to move her bum against my cock which was already hard.

`I like Scarlett,' she said, as she began to gyrate on my lap.

I want to make love with her tonight.' Alex whispered into my ear. How does Scarlett feel about that?'

I giggled, `Scarlett likes that idea very much.'

Alex plunged her tongue into my mouth and began to undo the buttons on my top, all the while grinding away on my cock. I pulled Alex's top over her head to reveal a white lace bra and I sucked a nipple through the lace, feeling it harden beneath my tongue. Alex undid the final button on the front of my top and pulled it apart to reveal the black bra I was wearing.

`Mmm, nice bra, someone has good taste,' she said.

Nin,' I mumbled, my lips still attached to her nipple. But I like it too.'

`I knew you would like dressing up.' said Alex, her voice sounding hoarse as she pushed herself onto my cock. I switched to the other nipple and Alex moaned as I nipped it between my teeth, the lace no obstacle to my teasing teeth. Alex slid backwards, stood up and undid her skirt, allowing it to drop to the floor. Her cock was pushing out of the top of her knickers and she pushed them down far enough to let it stick out, hard and straight as a ruler. She moved forward, and I opened my lips in anticipation of what was to come. She stood up on the sofa, her hands propped against the wall and so that her cock jutting straight towards my mouth. I kept my eyes open as she edged it towards me, brushing my lips with the tip, skidding it across my lipstick. There was a small trace of my lipstick on the tip, and I shivered at the thought of what her cock would look like sliding through my lips.

She must have read my mind, because she leant sideways, picked up her iPhone and started to film as I took her into my mouth. If Jandaeng had tried to rape my mouth, Alex made love to it, sliding her cock over my lips and gradually edging past them before pulling out again, relentlessly teasing me. I flicked my tongue out, and it slid under the silky head, and above me I heard Alex moan as I licked the tip, and she slid it once more into my waiting mouth. It felt hot and hard to my tongue and she held the tip barely inside my mouth so I bathed it with my tongue, working the soft and sensitive underside to extract another moan from Alex above me.

Look up baby,' she said. She was holding the phone a few inches above me. It looks so hot, Scarlett.'

She turned the phone round and pressed replay, so as I was suckling her cock, I watched myself on the screen, as it must have looked to Alex. I saw my eyes looking up, Alex's cock sliding in and out of my pink lips with the black hair framing my face as I rolled my tongue around the glistening head. She was right, it did look hot, and I knew this would not the last time I would be in this position. Alex began to rock her hips forwards driving her cock deeper, and I loved it as she filled my mouth with her cock. I gagged a couple of times but managed to keep her inside and I pushed myself further onto it. For the first time I took her full length into my mouth, and I heard her say, 'Ooooh good girl, Scarlett.'

I held her there for a few seconds, but Alex pulled her cock out, letting me take a couple of breaths before plunging it back in. My jaw began to ache so I was glad when she eventually stopped and pushed me back against the sofa. She got down from the sofa and told me to take off my trousers. I had to hitch my bum up from the sofa to get them off, and I felt very vulnerable clad only in my black bra and knickers as she stood there filming me.

`You look beautiful, baby, just beautiful.' Alex knelt in front of me, threaded her thumbs into the waistband of my knickers and eased them down my thighs and then my legs. The soft lace felt so sensuous as Alex slowly slid them down over my skin and it made me feel so gloriously feminine right then. Alex slipped the knickers over my feet, threw them away and pushed my legs apart. My cock was standing up like a flagpole as she slid forwards on her knees and, looking up at me, slid my cock into her mouth.

`Film us baby, the phone is by your side.'

I grabbed the phone and with shaking fingers and managed to get the thing filming what Alex was doing. It was a bizarre experience, watching on a small screen what was happening to me a few inches away. I watched her tongue licking the shaft and then her warm mouth enveloped my cock, but through the screen it almost felt like it was happening to someone else. Her tongue was like a snake wrapping itself around my cock and I jumped when she scraped her teeth across the head. She was using her hands to stroke and she would take me to the edge and then pull back, leaving me moaning and desperate for her to finish me. She knew I was close but wouldn't let me cum, instead stretching over to pick up some lube which she must have placed there earlier. She stood over me and applied some to her cock, grinning like a cheshire cat as I filmed her with the phone.

She knelt down, smeared the lube around and into my hole, then smiled and slid a finger into me. I bucked as I felt it slide in and she rocked her hand around opening me up for what was to come. She took the phone from me and put it on the table pointing towards us, her erect cock swinging from side to side as she moved. She leant forwards, lifting my legs up onto her shoulders so my hole opened up for her and without hesitating she slid her cock straight into me. I gasped as it penetrated me immediately, and with my knees right up on my chest I was so uncomfortable, but that was soon forgotten as Alex began to fuck me hard and fast.

She was leaning forward at an angle and there was nothing I could do but take it as she rammed her cock in and out. It started off rough, the pain searing through me at first, but then pain turned to the heat of pleasure and all I wanted was for her to go deeper and deeper. Alex leant forward a little more so we could kiss, her tongue flicking into my mouth as her cock drove into me. Every nerve in my body seemed alive, sending waves of ecstasy cascading through me.

Don't you love this, Scarlett?' she said in between her grunts as she pounded into me. I nodded, but she shouted again, Tell me you love my cock inside you, Scarlett. Tell me you want me to fuck you.'

I was barely able to speak in the position I was in, my knees tight against my chest and feeling every inch of Alex's cock as she rammed it into me.

Fuck me, fuck me deep,' I managed to grunt. I want to fuck me forever.' I couldn't remember her ever being so deep inside me, and I loved every single sweaty, grunting thrust which threatened to rip me apart. My senses were overwhelmed with a whirling kaleidoscope of light and sound, pain and pleasure, sex and lust combining to give me a high which no drug would ever achieve. To add to it all, Alex grabbed hold of my cock and pumped it with her fist. I was as hard as granite and it wouldn't take long for me to cum. Alex was panting with the exertion as I felt her shudder, grunt something and then she came, pouring her cum into me, and It seemed I felt every drop as it forced its way out of her cock and into me. She kept pumping my cock until I felt my own climax explode, fountains of cum spurting from my cock, over Alex's hand and onto my chest. I had never come so hard in my life before, and I kept jerking and spurting cum for what seemed like minutes.

Alex looked down still panting, smiled and kissed me, Baby that was fucking wonderful, I love you so much.' She leaned back sliding out of me with a pop, and I felt cold air rush into my gaping hole. I was finally able to put my legs down and I kissed her, I love you too. I thought I would never stop coming.' She laughed and pulled me up from the sofa, my legs felt like jelly and she had to hold me steady. `Come on, let's get cleaned up.'

I gingerly walked towards the wet room, looked round to see Alex filming me from behind.

`Stop that, I'm embarrassed.' I protested, vainly trying to cover up my cock with my hands.

She giggled, `Too late for being embarrassed, you look gorgeous. Take your hand away.'

I ran into the wet room and into the shower. Alex followed me still filming on her phone as I took off my bra and threw it and the breast forms at her. She yelped with laughter and finally put the phone down. She came over to me, wrapped her arms around me hugging me tight. We stood for a while, enjoying the sensation of our bodies sliding against each other; not speaking and with our hands gently caressing each other. Eventually Alex let me go and said, We need to get your wig off before we get in the shower.' She carefully unpinned it and slipped it off my head. I felt so different without it. My own hair felt short and ugly, I had grown used to the weight and the length and I was surprised to realise I missed it. Alex carefully laid it down and said, I never thought I would see that wig again.' She turned to me, `But It looked great on you, baby. I can't wait until the next time you wear it.'

The next time - those words stabbed into my head. I hadn't thought about what would happen next because I had been too wrapped up in the moment. As the water cascaded over us and Alex was washing me with a cloth, I tried to make sense of what I was feeling. I had got involved in all this against my better judgement and strictly as a one off to help Areeya. What, if anything, had changed? Had I enjoyed any of it? Images and scenes from the past few days; dressing up, Shane, the kathoey bar, Jandaeng, Nin, the sex tonight, flashed in front of my eyes in a confusing jumble of feelings. So much had happened to me in a few short days; not everything had been good, but much to my surprise, I realised I had enjoyed so much of it. Once the fear of exposure and ridicule had passed, I had begun to enjoy acting as a woman. The glamour of the makeup and the dressing up, had created an erotic, decadent excitement that thrilled me.

I had been given an insight into some of what it means to be a woman, and in the process I had learnt as much about what it means to be a man. Would there be a next time? I looked at Alex, and I knew she wanted there to be another time, but what about me?

Alex,' I said, what do you want from me?'

She stopped washing me, `Wow, where did that come from?'

`I'm so confused right now. I want to know what you want from me, what you want me to become?'

`Baby, let's get dry and then we can talk about this, OK?'

`Yes, but I need an answer.'

We dried ourselves, Alex slipped on her robe and I wrapped a towel around my waist which looked a bit like a skirt. Alex said, `I need a drink before we discuss this, do you want one?'

She came back with two large brandies, handed me one and sat on the sofa, her legs pulled up beneath her. I sat down next to her, nervously playing with my glass.

She took a big sip of brandy and looked straight at me, `I guess the last few days brought this on?'

`Mostly, but it's a question I guess I've been thinking about for a while?'

She took another sip before saying, `Do you believe I have ever forced you to do something? Against your will, I mean?'

I shook my head, `No, never.'

`Good, I didn't think so, but I wanted to check. Another question, are you happy here, with me and Areeya?'

`Alex, you know I am, I've never been happier in my entire life, but that's not the question.'

She paused, So you're happy here and you're not doing anything you don't like, or being forced to do anything. So what is your question?' Alex, a few months ago, I arrived on Samui for a few days R&R and to see an old uni friend. From that moment my life has been turned upside down and inside out. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining. I have enjoyed everything, well maybe not quite everything. I don't like people waving guns at me for sure. I have never felt more alive and excited by what's happening, and I wouldn't swap this for anything. I love you and Areeya and I thought I had it figured out. Who I am, I mean.'

Ales tried to say something, but I held up my hand, I needed to finish this what I was saying first.

`Then this trip to Bangkok happened, having me dress as a woman. You know I didn't want to do it, yet having done it, it's made me unsure of who I am and who I'm going to be. Do you understand why I need you to tell me what you want from me?'

I took a couple of large gulps of the brandy and almost choked. It's not really my drink.

Alex stretched out a hand and laid it gingerly on my arm. `Baby, I'm sorry, but another question first, and I want you to be honest, what happened on the trip to make you question yourself?'

I looked away, but I knew I had to tell her about Shane. I blushed, damn it. Will I ever stop doing that? I told her about the night at the hotel, about feeling lost and lonely and scared, and how I lay next to Shane and how I tried to kiss him, but how nothing actually happened. I couldn't look at her as I told the story, and I was nearly in tears at the end.

Alex moved across and sat on my lap, her arms around my neck.

`Oh baby, thank you for being honest. I suspected something by the way you and Shane were behaving with each other. He is a great guy and trust me you wouldn't be the first or the last to be attracted to him. There's a strength and yet a vulnerability about him, which people find irresistible. And before you ask, yes we did fuck each other once or twice in the past, so I understand what you must have been feeling.'

She kissed me and stroked my hair. If you're attracted to him, so what? You love me, you love Areeya, it's OK to be attracted to other people. So he's a guy, I can see what you're thinking in your eyes, so what? He has a cock, so do I and so do you. You and I seem to get on well enough, if tonight was anything to go by. Baby, there are no rules about who you get attracted to, it happens. I can equally understand it freaked you out a bit, but you're still James,' she giggled, or Jamie.'

But that's it,' I almost wailed, do you want me to be James or Jamie?'

`Baby, if you want to be, you can be both. If you enjoy being one or the other, then choose one, I will still love you. I like to play games, you get that, and I thought you might like being Jamie, but I don't want you to be Jamie, if it's not what you want. It's never been what I want you to be, it's who you want to be that's the question. When we got together, it wasn't just me, was it? You wanted it too. You knew what had happened to me and it didn't stop you, did it? Sure I wear a dress and Shane doesn't, well as far as I know, anyway. He'd look sweet I think, but I'm getting off the point. I just give you the chance to try things out, but I don't want to play games which might hurt you. You can always say no.'

I thought the idea of saying no to Alex would be about as much use as asking a charging rhinoceros to please stop. She paused and took another sip of brandy and then tilted the glass for me to take a sip too.

Tell me,' she said, Jandaeng aside, did you enjoy being Jamie?'

I nodded, I couldn't bring myself to say it.

`OK, I'm glad, I thought you might. Do you want to be Jamie again, or should I say Scarlett?'

I felt like a shy school kid as I said, `Yes, and yes.'

`Good, I would like it too. We might have a lot of fun, Areeya would like it as well. Maybe Shane too?'

I blushed redder than ever and she laughed, `He has the hots for Jamie, or Scarlett, that's for sure. You should have seen the way he looked at you earlier.'

She paused and had the look on her face she gets when she comes up with a crazy idea.

`You have to go back to Bangkok in a couple of days as James, so why don't we all have a quick holiday? Shane has to be in Bangkok the same time as you and Nin, so why don't we take the boat to the other side of the island, like Sam and Areeya did. Do some snorkeling, see what happens. You can be Scarlett for a couple more days at least.'

I felt dizzy as I realised saying yes would be to take a deliberate and willing step along a path that might change my life. Although not for the first time since I arrived in Samui, I thought. I would no longer be able to pretend it had only been a crazy adventure, something to be laughed off as a funny memory in the future. It might have consequences that none of us could foresee. Alex didn't help as she nibbled my ear and her fingers toyed with my nipple as I thought about it. As usual my head told me not to, and my heart was saying yes.

From somewhere my I heard my voice say, `Well, we could all do with a holiday, I guess.'

To be continued

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