Cocklust

By Brian Connor

Published on Jul 23, 2021

Gay

When Chad and I got back to campus, we spent the first few days coming down off our high. Our vacation had been unlike any experience I'd ever had. It had given me a taste of what life with him might really be like-- not just dating him, or going to school with him, or being in a fraternity with him, but actually sharing a future with him.

Our sexual explorations had also gotten us really horny. We basically started fucking every morning, noon, and night. It got to the point that I stopped even trying to keep my sheets clean; I got used to sleeping on dried cum, which was actually kind of hot.

Unfortunately, not everyone was as excited as we were. That Friday, I opened my door to find a note taped to it.

You guys are WAY too goddamn loud!!! the note said. Do you EVER keep your pants on?!?! It sure as hell doesn't seem like it, from what you did at the gym.

I did a double take when I read that. I assumed the note was from one of my neighbors-- it had to be-- though I couldn't tell which one. I stood in my doorway and looked around at the apartments around me. I tried to think through who the culprit could be. Then I looked back down and re-read the note.

The last sentence was the part that really threw me. I thought back to the time Chad and I had fucked at the gym and had heard someone coming. I thought we'd run away before anyone had seen us, but maybe we hadn't? If someone had really caught us, and if that someone was pissed at us, could we still get in trouble? Or, worse yet, did someone hear about all that secondhand?

I started wracking my brain to figure out what had happened. I was almost tempted to knock on my neighbors' doors and confront them about it. Then again, it wasn't exactly an easy question to ask-- "are you the one who complained about my noisy gay sex?"-- and I definitely couldn't ask what they knew about our gym fuck.

I didn't have much time to think about it though, because I was headed to meet with my advisor. I'd wanted to talk to him about the stuff I was doing with Thaxter, who was now e-mailing me on a regular basis. My advisor immediately jumped on the topic, and he asked if I liked that kind of work. I had to be honest: I didn't know much about it, and I was a little embarrassed that Thaxter treated me like an expert.

After some discussion, we decided that I'd drop my criminal justice course and take a marketing class instead. The marketing professor, Dr. Littman, had a reputation around campus: he was supposed to be a real character, but I'd heard he was cool. At any rate, if I liked his class, I could switch majors before the end of the semester.

When I left that meeting, I found I had a bunch of texts waiting for me. At first I was worried that more shit was going down. But when I checked my phone, I saw all the texts were from Johan. I just rolled my eyes and put my phone away, and I did my best to ignore the guy.

After that, I went to the financial aid office to take care of some paperwork. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop obsessing over the note on my door. I had admit, it was kind of exciting to think that someone had been watching and listening to me and Chad fuck. But it was nerve-wracking too, and I was dying to know who this person was. I kept scouring my brain for any clues; but I kept coming up empty. On my way home, I even swung by the gym to see if any of my neighbors were there. It was all to no avail.

I was at the frat house that night when I got another round of texts. Then, a few minutes later, my phone started ringing. I saw it was Johan-- yet again-- so I let the first few calls go to to voicemail. But Johan just wouldn't let up. Eventually I was so annoyed that I just grabbed my phone and hit the button to answer.

"Hello?" Johan said. "Are you there?"

"I'm here," I said. "What do you want?"

"Oh thank God."

I stepped into the bathroom, where I could be alone, and I shut the door behind me. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Johan made a bunch of muffled noises. He almost seemed to be crying. "I... I am so madly in love with you."

"Say what?"

"I mean it," he said. "I just-- I mean, I can't stop thinking about you--"

"What the fuck dude?" I asked. I forced myself to keep my voice down. "Are you drunk or high or something?"

"I-I want you to give me another chance. Please Scott...."

"Another chance for what? We were never a thing."

"I want you to be with me," he said. "Leave your boyfriend. I'd be so much better to you--"

"What the fuck makes you think you can say that?" I hissed. I was scared to death that Chad might overhear. "You don't know what you're talking about, and I can't believe you'd even go there--"

"Then I'll wait for you," Johan said. "When you're ready, I'll be there for you. I can't wait to hold you again, and take care of you, and make love to you, and really make you happy--"

"Do you realize how insane that all sounds?"

"Well... I care about you."

"No you don't. If you did, you wouldn't be doing this."

"I love you."

"You love the idea of me. Not the real me."

"Just... I dunno, Scott, just tell me what you want me to say--"

"I don't want you to say anything. I want you to stop calling me. And texting me--"

"I know I'm fucked up, but I'll clean up for you, I promise."

"You could seriously fuck things up for me right now. I don't think you get that."

Johan let out a loud sigh. "Fuck dude," he said, "do you know how bad I wanted you in high school? And then when you showed up on Grindr, and I realized you were gay--"

"That's all over and done with," I said. "I just spent winter break with my boyfriend's family. What the hell does that tell you?"

"Shit. I'm too late...."

"No, not really," I said. "You got the wrong idea to begin with."

The line was silent at first. I almost thought we'd gotten cut off, but then I heard Johan take a deep breath. "Oh fuck...." And I heard a faint slapping sound. It took me a second to realize what it was.

"Wait," I said. "Are you jacking off?"

"Oh shit," Johan said, "I can't help it--"

"That's gross!"

"Did you think it was gross when we were fucking?"

"For shit's sake!"

"Just let me finish!"

"What the hell? No!" I yelled, and I hung up the phone. Then, before he could call back, I scrambled to block Johan's number. From what I could tell, the block went through just in time.

I just stared at my phone and tried to calm my nerves. I felt dirty for even having taken the call. I was almost tempted to throw the phone against the wall, but I forced myself not to.

The bathroom door creaked open. "Is everything okay in there?" came Luke's voice.

I turned to see Chad and Luke staring back at me. "Yeah," I said. I wasn't sure what to say at first. "It's just... just drama from back home."

"Shit," Luke said. "Are your parents having trouble?"

I looked at Chad, and I tried to read his expression. Then I looked back at Luke. "No," I said. "They're fine. It's just... I dunno, petty bullshit with people I went to school with. It makes me glad I moved away...."

"That sucks," Luke said, "but it happens to the best of us. Don't let it get to you."

I nodded. "I won't," was my simple answer, though I knew it probably wasn't true.

I spent that night in Chad's bed. In the state I was in, there was no other place I wanted to be. After all, in that house, the only voyeurs to worry about were the other Kap Eps-- with whom we didn't have many boundaries to begin with.

I was way more affectionate than usual. I was pretty worn out, and my day had only made me want to be with Chad that much more. At first I just asked him to hold me. Somehow, when our bodies were up against each other, I felt as if nothing else mattered. It was as if the rest of the world could go fuck itself, yet we'd still be fine as long as we were together.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he eventually asked.

"Yeah," I said, "at least I am now."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." I snuggled up against his chest. "I just want to enjoy this."

"Well... you know, if you need to vent or whatever--"

"Sh," I said as I put my fingers on his lips. "You know I'm not that kind of guy."

Chad kissed my fingers. "I know," he said. "I'm just saying...."

"Don't say a thing," I replied, and I pressed my face against his beard. I felt Chad's warm breath against my cheek, and I inhaled his manly scents. Then I pulled my fingers down so that they weren't in our way. At first his lips just gave me a gentle caress, but one thing led to another, till his mouth was full-on massaging mine. Our tongues started jousting, and I tasted his warm sexy spit mix with my own.

I ran my hand along his chest, then made my way to his crotch. Chad wasn't that hard at first, but soon I felt his cock start to grow. I kept pressing my hand against his pants, and I could clearly tell he was hard as a rock.

I broke off the kiss, undid his fly, and pulled his dick out. I gave his shaft a few soft kisses, making my way from his ballsack to his head, then back down, then back up again. I wasn't trying to tease him so much as I was showing my affection.

Finally I guided his cock to my mouth, and I started sucking away. I wanted nothing more than to make my man feel good. I was desperate to show him how much I cared about him, and how much I'd do for him; and I wanted him to never want to be with anyone but me.

Chad let out a soft groan as he started thrusting into my mouth. I savored his cock as it plunged past my tongue. I took him in as far as he would go, till his cockhead was hitting the back of my throat. I was so into it that I just let him pound away.

I serviced him as best as I humanly could, paying close attention to every quake and quiver of his body. This went on for quite a while, till he started getting close. Then I took my mouth off his cock and I looked into his eyes. "I want you to know how much I love you," I said.

"I already know," he replied.

"I'm not fucking around," I said. "I'm not trying to be a smartass... and I'm not just saying it to get laid."

"Neither am I," he said as he pulled me in for another kiss.

I made out with him for a moment, then pulled back. The two of us stripped off our clothes. As soon as we were both naked, Chad went back to kissing me, and he began running his hands down the sides of my body. When he got down to my ass, he cupped each hand around my globes, and he reached inside my crack. I felt his fingers start to play with my boyhole.

I didn't need to be told what to do next. I laid down on his bed, and I opened my legs. As far as I was concerned, my body was his for the taking; and I wanted him to just have his way with me.

Chad lubed up his dick, and he laid down on top of me. At first he just nibbled my earlobes, and he sucked on my neck-- not hard enough to leave a hickey, but hard enough to feel good. Then he reached down and aimed his dick at its target. I felt his soft cockhead press against my cunt, followed by the powerful solid shaft right behind it. He eased into me slowly and gently, letting me enjoy it. The next thing I knew, he was so deep inside me that our bodies had basically become one.

I wrapped my arms and legs around Chad. I let out a little gasp as he started gyrating his hips. I could feel his thick rod sliding back and forth inside me, probing the deepest depths of my body.

Chad leaned down and kissed me again. As he did, his six-pack rubbed against my ballsack and cock. I felt a wave of pleasure ripple through my body. I instinctively thrust my tongue in his mouth, and I started licking his palate.

I was determined to pleasure him however I could, so I clamped my sphincter down on his dick. I could feel every inch of him ramming into me, then pull out, then push back deep inside me. The cycle repeated over and over as he opened up my ass.

"Oh fuck," Chad gasped. "Oh holy shit, babe...."

"Just fuck the cum out of me," I said. "Keep going... oh baby that feels so good...."

He adjusted his body just slightly, and I felt his dick hit my prostate. My mouth dropped open, and I let out a moan. Chad kept making out with me without missing a beat.

His pulsating abs were basically stroking my cock. More and more pre-cum came dripping out of me. I felt another hit to my prostate, then another, then another. My balls started to churn as my orgasm got closer and closer.

Chad's breathing got deeper, and his kisses got more intense. Then I felt his balls contract, and he unloaded their contents deep inside me. His timing was perfect, because just then I started shooting my load between our bodies.

"O-o-o-oh yeah," I said as I clutched his body as tightly as I could.

Chad slowed down his thrusts, then stopped as he gave me one last kiss. I savored the taste of his tongue and the smell of his breath. We were both wet with cum. Mine was smeared across both of our chests. I could feel Chad's dripping from my hole.

We rolled over to our sides, but I kept my arms and legs around him, to make sure he stayed buried inside me. We didn't bother cleaning up; we just laid there, holding each other, and we didn't say a word. We hardly even moved till we both fell asleep.

I hadn't forgotten Chad's idea about a sex party with the Kap Eps. But I didn't say anything, because I didn't think that was the time. Still, I did like how open he was to trying new things; and the more time we spent with our fraternity brothers, the more enticing the idea got to be. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking of Shane's big cock and Justin's cute butt. I also remembered the time Ryan and Marcos had fucked right in front of us, not to mention our late-night encounter with a naked Hunter and Drew. And there was no forgetting the pledges who'd jacked off for all of us to see.

All those thoughts came to the forefront that Tuesday, when the Kap Eps called a big meeting. Apparently Brody still hadn't paid his dues, so under our bylaws, we had to either suspend him or completely kick him out. Of course, Brody had been the guy I'd had issues with from the start. Personally, I hoped he did get kicked out so we could shed his bad vibes.

As we debated what to do, I found myself wondering if Brody was our voyeur. It would've been funny-- or at least ironic-- though I decided it was pretty unlikely. After all, Brody's apartment was nowhere near mine. I suspected our voyeur was a woman, based on the time we'd heard someone in the women's locker room.

In the end, the Kap Eps decided to expel Brody's ass. I didn't have much sympathy for him, and the other guys didn't either. We all seemed to be looking forward to having him gone.

Unfortunately the feeling didn't last very long. Later that night, Chad was on his computer when he made a weird face.

"Um," he said, "why are there naked pictures of you online?"

I froze. "Naked pictures?" I asked. "What are you talking about?"

Chad handed me his laptop. He was on a gay message board, and sure enough, it was full of images of me. The first pic showed me in my parents' bathroom without a stitch of clothing on. My face was plainly visible, and so was my cock hanging between my legs. The other pictures covered my anatomy from every possible angle, from close-ups of my hole to my ballsack to everything else.

I couldn't help noticing the comment at the bottom. I've been getting off to this for months, it said. Enjoy.

"Holy fuck," I said. "Johan, you goddamn son of a bitch...."

"Who the hell is Johan?"

"He's the guy who called me the other night."

"What the fuck?"

"It's not what it looks like--"

"It had better not be!"

I looked into Chad's eyes. He seemed genuinely hurt, like he'd been punched in the face. "Johan has a crush on me," I said. "I told him I wasn't interested--"

"So you're saying he magically conjured these pictures out of nowhere?"

I took a deep breath. "I-I told you... I mean, when you and I first started dating... I admitted I'd been with other guys."

"You never said you were exchanging X-rated pictures--"

"Well, you've sent me X-rated pictures yourself--"

"You never sent any back."

I clenched my jaw for a second, and I forced myself not to scream. "Look," I finally said. "All this is from before you and I were together. Besides, why were you looking for naked pictures in the first place?"

"There's nothing wrong with me looking at naked pictures," he said. "I thought we agreed to that shit."

"We agreed to do it together."

"Together?" Chad asked. "Is that really the word you want to use right now?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Are you telling me other guys have had naked pictures of you this whole time?"

"It's not like that--"

"Really? Because I've never seen these pictures in my life," he said. "Yet apparently other guys have?"

"This is revenge porn," I said. "I fucking guarantee it. I told Johan to go pound sand, so this is how he gets back at me."

Chad crossed his arms. "So when he called the other night," he said, "I thought you said this was was just drama from back home or something."

"It was. I told you, I knew him in high school--"

"You never told me he was still contacting you!"

"Listen--"

"Not to mention you used that line before," he said. "That time right before your birthday, when I came back to your place and you were acting all weird. You said basically the same thing. Was that this same guy too?"

I wanted to say no, but I didn't want to lie. "W-well yeah I guess you could say that--"

"Jesus Christ, Scott! How much else are you not telling me?"

"I'm telling you everything, I promise--"

"Is he the only one who has pictures like this?"

I mulled over my words for a moment. "I don't know," I finally said. "I mean, if Johan saved them... I guess other guys could've saved them too."

Chad ran his hands through this hair. "Oh my God, I don't believe this...."

"Listen--"

"How much were you sleeping around?"

"Sleeping around?" I said. "I resent that--"

"What the hell else would you call it?"

"You and I weren't together back then. You wouldn't even talk to me. You wouldn't return my calls or texts or e-mails or anything. And it wasn't for my lack of trying. So what the fuck was I supposed to do?"

"FUCK YOU!"

I froze in my tracks. "What did you just say?"

Chad and I just stared at each other. He clenched his jaw, but he didn't say a word. I couldn't help noticing how his eyes were glistening. He seemed to be forcing himself not to lose it.

I was pretty torn-up myself. I was about to say something when Chad's phone rang. Chad didn't react at first; his eyes seemed to be locked into mine. But the ringing didn't stop.

Finally Chad grabbed his phone. "What?" he asked.

Please don't let this be Johan, I thought. I didn't think Johan had Chad's number, but after what had just happened, I wasn't about to put anything past him.

Chad pressed the phone to his ear. He didn't say a word, but the color seemed to drain out of his face. Then he suddenly rushed out of the room, slammed the door behind him, and disappeared.

I just sat there by myself, and I tried to get my bearings. My stomach felt like it had been twisted into knots. I wanted nothing more than to hold Chad close to me. I wanted to tell him I'd never talk to Johan again. I wished to God I could turn back the clock, ideally to that summer; but even if I could just go back twenty-four hours, I thought I might've prevented all this from happening.

I felt a tear run down my cheek, but I wiped it away as quickly as I could. I didn't want Chad or anyone else to see me cry. I could feel my sinuses filling up too, though I could always pass those off as allergies or something.

I heard Chad's voice for a moment, but then everything went silent. I waited for a moment, but then I started to get worried. I eventually got up, opened the door, and stepped into the hallway.

Chad was sitting on the stairs, staring straight ahead in an almost catatonic state. His phone was lying on the ground, as if he'd just dropped it.

I found myself tiptoeing toward him. "Chad?"

He barely looked up. "It's about my dad," he finally said.

"What about him?" I asked. "Did your mom finally file for divorce?"

"It's worse than that," he said. "Way, way, way worse." And from the look on his face, I could tell he wasn't kidding.

To be continued....

Next: Chapter 20


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