Cocklust

Chad seemed totally different from the guy I'd known before. He'd always been the frat boy brimming with confidence, if not downright cockiness; or at least that was how I'd always seen him. Now he was stumbling over his words, with a scared-shitless look on his face. I didn't know if I'd ever seen a grown man so vulnerable.

He didn't want to talk in public, so we walked to his car, which was parked around the corner. We just sat there for a minute, with me in the passenger seat and him in the driver's, while he tried to figure out where to start.

"Y-you've got to understand," he said, "my dad is not a guy to fuck with. I-I mean, he used to be a Navy SEAL and everything, and he lost his shit when they got rid of `Don't Ask, Don't Tell'. His exact words were, it would cripple the country and pansy it up."

"Shit--"

"I mean, I tried to act normal when I got there. I thought if I just got away from you and went back to my old life, I could stop thinking about you, and I could go back to the way things were... but I couldn't."

It took a second for his words to sink in. Before I could say anything, Chad cleared his throat.

"My dad could totally tell something was up. I mean, I could see it in his eyes. He just didn't know what it was, and I was scared if he found out he'd beat the shit out of me. I-I didn't know what to do, I felt like I was gonna throw up basically all day every day... so all I can say is, thank God for Ryan and Marcos."

"Ryan and Marcos?" I asked.

"Yeah," he said. "They were the first ones I came out to... I figured they'd know what to do."

I couldn't argue with his logic. Part of me wished he hadn't told them, considering they were our frat brothers. But I wasn't going to argue; after all, they were gay too. "How much did you tell them? I-I mean, about us--"

"I didn't tell them that part," he said. "I just said I thought I liked guys. I mean, I don't know if they saw through it or what. Fuck, I barely even remember half of what I said. I was freaking out-- I just couldn't--"

"Hey, I get it," I said.

Chad turned the ignition and started driving down the street. I didn't know where he was going, but I wasn't about to ask. "Anyway," he said, "Marcos said I should work my way up to it: tell my brother first, then my mom, then my dad. I-I mean my brother's just sixteen, he's got friends in school who are gay, or have two moms or two dads or whatever. So out of anyone in my family... at least he seemed like he wouldn't shit his pants."

My mind was swimming, so I just stared at the trees going past.

"It didn't exactly go how I expected," he said. "I-I kept wanting to tell him, and I tried to force myself and everything, but I kept chickening out... till one night, Patrick was playing Mortal Kombat. He was beating the shit out of somebody, yelling at the screen, and he called him a faggot. And that's when I couldn't take it anymore. I made him stop, and I asked him: what would you say if I was into a guy?"

I wanted to ask him about that last sentence. But Chad kept on talking.

"He just made some crack about all the great pussy that's out there. It wasn't till I told him I wasn't kidding, and I asked him not to say anything... that was when he got really quiet. I-I mean, I guess that's just Patrick, but it didn't really help."

"Shit," was all I could say.

"I almost gave up on telling my mom... till one day, she started in on her twenty questions about the girls I'd met in school. I didn't know what to tell her, a-and I didn't have time to come up with a good story, so fuck it-- I told her the truth. At least the shorter G-rated version." Chad sighed. "She said it was just a phase. That, and I could get AIDS."

My stomach was starting to twist into knots. I was all too aware that I'd never come out to anyone, except of course to the guys I'd slept with. I couldn't imagine going through that hell.

"You know what the worst part was?" he asked. "It was when she asked me: `do you know what your father would say?' As if I hadn't been stressing about it the whole fucking time--"

"I'm sorry," I said.

"I mean, shit!" he said. "I couldn't deal with it anymore. I just-- fuck, I got out of there as fast as I could. So I went and crashed with Marcos for a while."

I was starting to put two and two together. If Chad had been staying with Marcos, then that would explain the picture I'd seen on Facebook. And if Chad was that self-conscious, then it seemed to explain why the picture got deleted.

"I mean, the cool thing was seeing Marcos's family, and how they acted around him. They were all super-Catholic, and some of them were cooler with him being gay than others... but at the end of the day, they all loved him. And that was all there was to it."

I looked over at Chad. My guilt was gnawing at me. I kept thinking of how I'd spent that summer slutting it up.

"Anyway... by the time I got back home... I thought I could finally do it. But he wouldn't talk to me. Apparently my mom had already told him."

I blinked. I couldn't imagine my dad finding out secondhand.

"I tried to tell myself it was normal," he said. "Not talking to me, I mean. See, he's always been busy with work. When he was in the Navy, he was always gone for long stretches, a-and even now he's with a defense contractor, which isn't all that different... but then I found out he was talking to Patrick. And my mom. I was the only one he was avoiding."

Chad pulled over into a parking lot. We were at the edge of town, next to a nature preserve. It seemed like a good spot for the privacy we needed.

"I thought he was gonna disown me," he said. "I-I mean, I was worried he wouldn't pay for school or whatever, and I'd never get to come back, and I'd never see you again. But I didn't want to push the guy either, and inflame the whole thing. So fuck, I didn't know what to do."

I could't take my eyes off Chad. His eyes were a lot more watery than I'd expected. He didn't have tears running down his cheeks, but he wasn't far off.

"It wasn't till two days ago, my last day at home, when he finally reared his head. He said my mom had told him about the shenanigans I was in-- that was his word-- so I'd better not get myself in trouble. I don't know what the fuck that was supposed to mean, I-I guess it could've been worse, but still, what does he call trouble?"

"I dunno," I said. "I mean, maybe he doesn't know what to say--"

"Fuck if I know," he said. "Point is, I guess it's official now... with my family knowing and shit. And... well, I wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for you."

I didn't know how I felt about that last part. "You didn't need to do that," I said, "at least not for me."

"Scott, don't you get it? I didn't have a choice. It's not like I told them about you, at least not in detail. I just-- I had something in me I couldn't control. I wish to God I could've hidden it, because God knows I would."

I stared out at the wilderness around us. "Well," I said, "I-I guess... well, I don't think I can control this shit either."

Chad's eyebrows went up. "What do you mean?"

"Well," I said. "I should tell you a secret of my own. When I rushed the Kap Eps last spring... I did it because of you."

"What?"

"I mean, I'd seen you around Shaw," I said. "I guess I was into you too." As soon as I said it, I wished I hadn't, because I thought I'd been too forward. I was on pins and needles waiting for him to respond.

"Humph," he said, "those showers were a joke. When I found out I had to use them... the only upside was hoping some guy would pick me up."

I didn't know what I'd expected, but it definitely wasn't that. "Wait a minute," I said. "So all that shit you did in the shower-- all that showing off and whatnot-- are you saying that was on purpose?"

He shrugged. "Well yeah," he said.

"It's just-- I mean, when I saw you in there, I never would've thought--"

"That's why I rushed the Kap Eps too."

I frowned. "What?"

"I'd heard about that hazing ritual," he said. "Or initiation, or whatever we're technically supposed to call it... and I wanted in on it."

"Wait a minute," I said. "You mean that circle jerk--"

"Ryan and Marcos had heard about it too," he said. "They told me later it was the whole reason they came. Of course, they didn't expect to have to fuck in front of us, but still...."

"Holy shit," I said. I was starting to see the past eight months in a totally new light.

"I just didn't expect what that shit would turn into."

I sighed. I wanted to say I knew how he felt, but at that point, I wasn't sure I really knew much of anything.

Chad looked into my eyes. "You know how much I missed you?"

"Don't say that," I said.

"It's true--"

"Well, I missed you too. And it really fucked with me, okay? The way you freaked out on me that night--"

"Listen--"

"--and then you wouldn't talk to me," I said. "I-I mean, it's not like it was for my lack of trying. You wouldn't call me back, or message me, or anything. It was like you dropped off the face of the earth."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I can't tell you-- well, it's like I said, I didn't know what to do... I knew I was into you, like a lot, and it scared the shit out of me. I never felt that before."

I mulled over his words. "What do you mean, you never felt that before?"

"Well... it's true. None of the girls I'd been with made me feel the way you do."

"Fuck, Chad," I said. "I mean, for God's sake, man, how did you think I felt? I-I mean I wanted to come see you, or at least talk to you or something--"

"I'm sorry," he said. "I don't know how many times I can say it, but I mean it. I fucked up. I just... well, if you can just give me a second chance...."

I sighed. "I dunno," I said. "I mean, fuck if I know what to do."

Chad looked like I'd just punched him in the face. "Are you saying--"

"I don't know what I'm saying." I looked around to make sure there was no one around us. "Let's just... well, let's take this one step at a time." And I moved in to kiss him.

Our lips and tongues came together like keys sliding into a lock. I could practically feel the tumblers turning inside me. I'd never wanted to be with anyone so much, but I'd also never felt so conflicted.

Chad's body pressed against mine, and we tried to ignore the center console between us. I could see his dick straining through his pants; he would've been standing at attention if his jeans had allowed it.

I wanted to fuck him right there, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to do it. It wasn't just the setting; we could've done it in the car, or we could've done it in the forest outside. But for the first time in months, I forced myself to keep my dick in my pants.

Finally Chad broke away from me. "Fuck," he said. "I've been wanting that more than I should."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

Chad ran his hand through his hair. "I dunno," I said. "I just... I'm not supposed to be into you. We were supposed to just be fuck buddies, remember?"

"According to you," I said. "I mean... all this shit's just between us. Nobody else needs to know."

Chad seemed to blink away a tear, but then he clenched his jaw. "Yeah," he said. "You know, w-well I won't tell anybody if you won't."

"I wasn't planning on it anyway," I said. "I mean yeah, I promise." Then I forced a smile. "You okay?"

"Yeah," he said. Then he took a deep breath. "I'll be fine."

We knew we had to get back to campus, but we took our damn time. I savored every minute I could spend alone with Chad. I liked the privacy of hanging out in his car; I didn't want to be around other people, especially since that would mean having to act normal.

At one point we stopped to grab a bite to eat, but it felt awkward having to restrain ourselves. Then again, I thought, it might make for good practice for the semester to come. I knew it wouldn't be easy to hide our secret from our frat brothers, so we'd need to be extra-careful around them.

I definitely didn't want to leave him that night. I knew I'd eventually have to, but I put it off for as long as I could. After lots of hemming and hawing, Chad eventually drove me to my place, and he pulled up to the curb. The sky was totally dark, and I could hear the crickets chirping in the distance.

"So," Chad said, "what are you doing tomorrow?"

"I dunno," I said. "Nothing special, I mean, since classes don't start till Monday--"

"That's cool," he said. "I...." His voice trailed off, and he put his hand on my cheek. "I'm glad to finally see you again."

"I'm glad to see you too," I said. I debated whether to give him a good-night kiss, but then I saw a girl down the street. She didn't look like anyone I knew, but I didn't want to risk it.

Chad must've seen the girl too, because his demeanor instantly changed. "Cool," he finally said.

Without further ado, I got out and closed the car door behind me. I walked up the front steps, then turned and looked back at him. Chad waved at me, then drove off. I took a deep breath and finally went inside.

I could barely wrap my mind around what had just happened. I had no idea how I felt about it, and I could hardly imagine what might happen from here.

Barely five minutes later, my phone buzzed with a text. Night dude, Chad wrote. See you in the morning.

I suddenly felt butterflies in my chest. Technically we hadn't talked about meeting again, but I wasn't about to argue. You too man, I wrote. I put my phone in the charger, but after a minute, I decided to write: I'm thinking of you.

Chad seemed to hesitate. The little thought-bubble icon appeared on my phone, but then it vanished; then it reappeared again. Thinking of you too, he finally wrote. Miss you already. Then he added an emoji.

I couldn't take it anymore. I plopped into bed, yanked my pants down, and started jacking off. I kept thinking of Chad while I did it. I imagined he was going at it too, preferably thinking of me, just a few blocks away. I kept fantasizing about his hard cock, and how his fist must be pounding away.

I was craving something up my ass, but I didn't have any toys, so I did the next-best thing: I reached down with my spare hand, and I started fingering my hole.

My balls started tingling almost immediately. I imagined Chad really fucking me, with his body pumping back and forth, with his hair slashing against his head, and his hard cock sliding in and out of my cunt. I could practically hear his dirty talk, which was music to my ears.

It didn't take long before I got off. I let out a loud scream-- after all, I had my whole place to myself-- as my ass squeezed down hard around my fingers. All my pent-up tension and anxiety came to a head, and my cum came gushing out of me. I fell back against my pillow, gave myself a few last strokes, and finally took a deep breath.

I pulled my fingers out of my ass, then halfheartedly wiped the cum from my body. Then I rolled over and tried to fall asleep, because I couldn't wait for morning.

I spent the next few hours dreaming of Chad. I don't remember details; I just remember a blur of skin, dick, and ass. Like all my other sex dreams, it was totally frustrating. I kept trying to bang him, but I kept getting cock-blocked.

My phone buzzed around six a.m. I jumped out of bed, yanked the phone out of the charger, and forced my eyes to focus. Under normal circumstances, it would've been too early for me. But at that moment, I felt anything but normal.

Morning dude, Chad had texted. I'm going to grab coffee at Main St. Mocha. Wanna come?

I couldn't say yes fast enough. Main Street Mocha was just around the corner. Be there in 10 minutes, I wrote. I shaved as fast as I could, jumped in the shower, and threw on some clothes. Then I showed up just as I'd promised.

Chad was already there, and he'd already ordered me a coffee. He'd gotten it just the way I liked it-- dark roast with cream but no sugar-- which threw me for a loop.

"You're not hard to figure out," he said, "at least when it comes to this shit. That's how you always got your coffee during Rush Week. You think I wouldn't remember?"

I frowned. I didn't remember ever having ordered coffee around him. Then again, I'd had practically the same coffee every morning for years. Part of me was weirded out that he'd noticed, but another part thought it was sweet. I couldn't deny that Chad had ordered what I wanted; so all in all, I couldn't complain. "Thanks," was all I could say.

"Anyway, sorry if I got weird on you last night," he said. "I really didn't mean to."

My heart sank a little. I'd been hanging on Chad's every word, and I didn't want to think he didn't mean it. "No," I said, "I never thought you were weird."

Chad's eyebrows went up. "You didn't?" he asked. "I mean, I figured it'd be fun to hang out-- w-well, assuming you've got time-- before all the craziness starts."

I tried to gauge the tone in his voice. Chad still sounded nervous, and he almost made it sound like this was a date. "You know," I said, "I don't even know what your major is. We never really talked about it--"

"Poli sci," he said.

"That's cool," I said. "Me, I'm pre-law... but I'm not sure I'm into it."

Chad nodded. He'd apparently ordered a latte for himself, and he kept sipping it as we headed outside. "Welcome to the club," he said. "I don't exactly love poli sci either. I was hoping to go to school on a basketball scholarship, but it didn't work out. So here I am, trying to figure out what to do... in more ways than one."

"I never knew that," I said.

"Well shit--"

"There's a hell of a lot I don't know about you," I said.

"What do you want to know?" he asked. "I told you about my family--"

"Just barely," I said. "I'd never heard of them till last night."

"Dude," he said, "it's complicated."

"What's so complicated?"

"You know I wasn't even born in this country?" he asked. "I was born on Okinawa. It was classic Navy brat shit. I mean, I guess it's cool I got to see the world... certain parts of it, anyway. But I couldn't keep friends for very long, so I never really felt like I belonged anywhere. At least till my dad retired from the service, which was when I was in high school." He sighed. "The only people I could rely on, the ones who were always there, were my family... and now, well, who the hell knows anymore, though I guess we'll find out."

I took a huge gulp of coffee. "Well," I finally said, "I don't know how I'm gonna tell my family either."

"Are they super-conservative too?"

"I dunno," I said, "I mean, not like yours. Not politically. My dad's an attorney, and my mom's a realtor. A-and then there's my sister; she's going to Dartmouth. They're all basically whitebread. Their idea of drama is dealing with their homeowners' association. If they knew about this shit...."

"You don't think they've figured it out?"

"I... well, I don't think so, but hell if I know. If anybody's on to me, it'd probably be my sister."

"How so?"

"She's like a fucking interrogator," I said, "and she's always been like that. She's never forgiven me for breaking up with my ex." As soon as I said it, I felt a pang of regret, but it was too late.

Chad pursed his lips, as if he had a sour taste in his mouth. "Your ex, huh?"

"W-well, I mean, I haven't talked to her in forever. I made sure to avoid her--"

"Tell me about her."

I paused. "What?"

"Well, it's like you said... there's a lot I don't know about you either."

I took a deep breath. I didn't really want to talk about girls, but if we were going to figure this shit out, I knew we'd need to broach the subject sooner or later. "Well, her name was Erica," I said. "I dated her from sophomore to senior year, and she was the one I lost my virginity to... my straight virginity at least."

Chad kept a poker face. "So what happened?"

"Well, we were supposed to go to college together," I said, "but then her parents ran into money trouble, so I came by myself."

"Wait a minute," Chad said. "Your girl was supposed to go school here?"

"Originally yeah," I said. "She ended up going to community college back home."

"That sucks," he said, "I mean, not in, you know--"

"I haven't talked to her since," I said, "but it sounds like she's not doing well. Amy, my sister, tries to give me guilt trips like it's somehow my fault."

"Shit," he said.

"I guess she doesn't mean anything by it, it's just... well, she just drives me fucking crazy sometimes. Sisters will do that to you."

Chad nodded. "I'll take your word for it," he said. "I don't have a sister, but my ex...." Then his voice trailed off.

"What about her?"

"Well, our senior year, we were homecoming king and queen. Everybody pretty much assumed we'd get married." He snorted. "Little did I know."

I didn't know how to respond at first. I hadn't forgotten his freak-out from spring semester, so I knew I had to tread carefully. "Do you think... you're still into girls?"

Chad looked at the streets around us, then turned back to me. "I-I mean, I dunno," he said. "I guess I still think they're hot and all... but do I want to fuck them?" He shrugged. "Not anymore."

"You know, I never thought I'd be into guys," I said, "I guess till I saw my first gay porn and liked it."

Chad licked his lips. "Yeah, I don't know when I first thought of it," he said.

"If you were showing off in the showers, you must've had an idea--"

"Yeah," he said. "I... well, maybe it was when I caught myself checking out other guys' butts. I mean, that was years ago, but I guess it took me a while to realize what a dead giveaway that was." He cleared his throat. "W-when I, uh, played basketball, they always made us shower together... we used to compare our cocks and shit, a-and I probably liked it a little too much."

"So basically like the Kap Eps," I said.

"I guess," he said, "except I don't think any guys on the team were actually gay."

"You mean besides you?"

Chad got really quiet. I suddenly worried I'd said the wrong thing. "Well," he finally said, "I still don't know what I am."

I wanted to kiss him right then, but I forced myself to hold back. "Don't worry about it," I said. "At least not around me." I'd never talked to a guy about my feelings, but somehow with Chad it felt right. I tried to act as casual as I could, but the truth was, I was a bundle of nerves myself.

We ended up talking for hours. Along the way, I learned a hell of a lot. I'd never known Chad's mom was a rich girl-- some sort of a banking heiress-- but this explained why he'd always seemed to have money. I also learned his brother had gotten in with a bad crowd, and was getting in trouble with the law. Chad tried to act like he wasn't bothered by it, but I could see in his eyes that he was.

I also got to know some of Chad's quirks, like how he was into rugby, so he had a lot of strong opinions about teams I'd never heard of. He was apparently insane about Game of Thrones too, and he went on and on about how evil Cersei was. His most random tic of all was how he somehow hated eggs; I'd never heard of such a thing, but Chad acted weird when he smelled them.

I found myself opening up to Chad too. I told him stories of growing up in the burbs, and how I'd always itched to get away. Somehow we got onto the topic of music, and I told him how my mom had tried to get me into the Bangles. Then I recounted what it was like to have mono, and how I'd missed three months' worth of school.

Eventually we ended up at my place. I knew it wasn't much to look at, considering it was just a little studio, and I hadn't fully unpacked. But at that point, I don't think either of us cared.

"This is awesome," he said. "I should've gotten a place like this. I thought it'd be cool in the frat house, but now I'm not so sure--"

"Well," I said, "I did move here for a reason."

"Why was that?"

"Do you need me to spell it out for you?" I asked. I pressed his body against the wall, and I started making out with him.

We stumbled to my bed and plopped down on the sheets. The next thing I knew, we were stripping off each other's clothes.

Both of us were as hard as a rock. I had almost forgotten how much I loved Chad's body. He still had the ripped chest and breathtaking package I'd first laid eyes on months before.

Chad ran his hands along my skin. "My God," he said. "Do you know how many times I jacked off thinking of this?"

Those words sent my hormones raging. "Say what?"

"Well yeah," he said. "It gave me something to look forward to."

I could barely believe what I was hearing. I fumbled for my lube, and I reached for a condom, but Chad grabbed my hand.

"No condom," he said. "I need to feel you inside me. With nothing in the way."

"I get it," I said, "but to be safe--"

"I haven't been with anybody else," he said. "Have you?"

A new wave of guilt came over me. I didn't know what to say; I didn't want to tell him the truth, but I also didn't want to lie.

"Okay," Chad said, "I-I mean I get it. I guess I can't really complain, it's just--"

"I'm sorry," I said. "I didn't know what I know now."

"It's fine," he said, although I couldn't tell if he meant it. He took a deep breath, then looked into my eyes. "I don't want to know too much, so just tell me... were you safe?"

"Well yeah," I said. "I never barebacked with anybody else."

Chad forced a laugh. "So I'm the lucky one?" he asked.

"Dude," I said, "it's always been different with you. That's what I was trying to tell you when we got in that fight. And if that hadn't happened, I never would've done anything with anybody else. Even when I did... I mean, I was just getting off. It never made me feel the way I do now."

"Fuck, Scott." Chad swallowed hard. "Don't make me regret this."

"Regret what?"

"All this shit," he said. "You know how much I've got to lose here... but somehow, every time I see you, it makes me feel like it's worth it."

I didn't know what to say to that. I basically felt the same way, although I didn't want to admit it.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is... I trust you. So if you tell me you were safe, and if you tell me you're not seeing anybody else, I'll believe it. I just don't want to get burned... because I can't afford that right now."

I choked down a lump in my throat. "Okay," I said.

Chad pulled me closer. "So now that we've got that out of the way," he said, "you can fuck me without a condom."

"Well, when you put it that way--"

"And since we fought last time," he said, "does that make this our make-up sex?"

"What do you mean?"

"Isn't that supposed to be the best kind?"

I shrugged. "I guess we'll find out."

And we did.

I could tell Chad hadn't bottomed in a while. His ass had gotten so tight that he could barely take me in. He was obviously in pain, so I tried to pull out, but he wouldn't let me. "I need this so bad," he said as he tried to control his sphincter. Then, once his body started to relax, he pulled me deeper inside him.

I'd gotten so used to condoms that barebacking felt like a whole new sensation. I loved the feeling of Chad's flesh against mine. It was like both of our bodies were united; I could hardly tell where his ended and mine began. We kept making out while we both groaned with pleasure.

"Oh yeah," he said between kisses, "you're so fucking hot...."

"So are you," I said.

"I love that dick in my ass," he said, "it's the best fucking dick...."

"Just take it. You know you want it--"

"Oh yeah," he said, then he threw his head back. "I can't believe you feel so good...."

"You do too," I said as I pumped further into him.

I went to touch his cock, but he pushed my hand away. "No," he said, "fuck me harder."

I rammed into him, and I felt my dick hit his prostate. Chad's jaw dropped open. His arms were wrapped around me, and I could feel his fingers digging into my back. I started fucking him as hard and fast as my body would let me.

"Oh God baby," he said, "I'm so close, don't stop... oh please...."

I knew I wouldn't last long myself. My whole body felt euphoric, and I could tell Chad's did too.

"Aaaaah!" he suddenly screamed as a rope of cum shot out of him. He never touched himself, but his cum kept spurting. I could feel his hole convulsing around my dick.

"Oh shit," I grunted as I felt myself go over the edge. Chad looked right into my eyes as I blew my load inside him. It was a full-body experience; my heart was pounding, and my fingers were tingling. Then my legs started shaking, and I collapsed on top of him. "Fuck yeah," was all I could say.

Chad kissed my forehead. My dick was still inside him, and his cum was smeared between us, but I didn't care.

"You called me baby," I finally said. "That's a first."

"Did I?" he asked. "I don't even remember." He ran his arms across my back. "Fuck, I needed that."

We just laid there for a minute. I snuggled against his face, and I kissed him on the cheek. Our limbs were tangled together, but it felt totally comfortable, and both of us were still hard. "You know, if you want to clean up--"

"No," he said. "I waited so long to get your cum in me... I want this feeling to last."

I looked into his eyes. He had a faraway look on his face, almost like he was dreaming. "What is it?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You've got something on your mind," I said, "I can tell."

"It's just...." Then his voice trailed off. "I've been thinking about this so much."

I could feel my mouth starting to water. "How much?"

"Well...." He swallowed. "Maybe four or five times a day?"

"Shit," I said, "you've been jacking off that much?"

"Not necessarily," he said. "Depending on what I was up to... sometimes all I could do was fantasize about it."

"Dude," I said, "that's fucking hot."

"Believe me, I know," he said, "but I could never tell anyone."

"You could always tell me," I said.

"I guess I can now, it's just... well you know, at the time...." Chad slid his hands down my body, and he started massaging my ass. "Well, now that we're here, I don't want it to end." And he toyed with my hole.

"Are you saying you want to keep going?"

"Well, you said it, not me...."

I liked the sound of that, so I gave him a deep kiss. I circled my tongue around his, and I made sure to take his spit in my mouth.

Eventually I pulled out of him and stuck my ass in the air. Chad took up his position behind me, and he licked each of my cheeks. Then he moved into my crack, and he swished his tongue around my hole. A tingling sensation shot through me; I remembered how much Chad liked butt play, and how good he was at it. "Your ass is so hot," he said between licks.

"Then keep doing that," was all I could say.

As much as Chad seemed to love my ass, I loved what he did with it even more. The man was fucking talented, no two ways about it. I relished the way his lips kept toying with my hole. I probably could've gotten off right then, if I hadn't already done it a few minutes before. In a way, the fact that we were spent was a blessing. Neither of us were in any real hurry, so we could relax and enjoy the ride.

After a few more minutes, Chad came up for air. I took the opportunity to put my hand on his cock. I played with it for a minute, and I watched Chad's face as he reacted. Then I pulled his dick toward me, guided it into my mouth, and unceremoniously started sucking away.

"Oh fuck," he gasped. "You're so fucking good at this."

I could still taste some of his cum, but it was really just icing on the cake. The part I loved most was the taste and texture of his meat. I devoured him as if I'd been starving.

"Yeah baby," he said. "Keep doing that... it feels so hot...."

I reached behind him and played with his ass. His mancunt was still smeared with lube, and I was tempted to stick my finger inside, but I resisted the urge. Instead, I ran my fingers down his taint, and I started playing with his balls.

I blew him for another few minutes, then finally let him fuck me. I was still crouched on all fours, and I shuddered with anticipation as he lubed me up. He ran his cock up and down my crack, which practically drove me wild. Then he pressed against my ring, and I felt his tip pop inside me.

"Oh yeah," I said, "just like that, baby...."

He slid in another inch or so. "You want more of that dick?"

"Oh come on--"

"I want to hear you say it."

"Get it in deeper--"

"You sure you're ready for it?"

"I want you to fuck the shit out of me," I said, "good and hard."

Chad went the rest of the way in, till I felt his pubes on my cheeks. "Oh yeah," he said. "God, I missed this...."

"Me too."

Chad started pumping into me, but he took it nice and slow. We both seemed to be savoring the sensation. "Your hole feels so good," he said. "Fuck, I love this ass."

I arched my back, and Chad leaned down and kissed my shoulders. I tried to reciprocate, but in that position I couldn't. The one thing I could do was work my ass. I gyrated my hips, and I tightened my sphincter as hard as I could. I remembered how much he liked that, and he reacted exactly how I expected. He let out a loud groan, and he thrust his dick even harder inside me.

We kept doing it like that for a while, till Chad whispered in my ear: "I want to look in your eyes when I'm fucking you."

As soon as he said those words, I felt myself getting harder, though I hadn't thought that was possible. "Oh yeah," was all I could say.

Chad pulled out of me, and I turned on my back. I spread my legs nice and wide, and he leaned over me. Then he teased me again: he ran his dick along my taint, but he wouldn't slide it inside me.

"Fuck," I said, "you shouldn't do that...."

"Why not?" he asked. "Are you saying you don't like it?"

"I want you so bad...."

Chad kissed me again. This time was longer and harder than before. When he finally broke it off, he looked right in my eyes, and he licked his lips. "What do you want me to do to you?"

"Just get your cock in me," I said. I knew he was trying to drive me crazy, and it was working. At the same time, I knew I couldn't complain; after all, I'd done the same thing to him.

He reached down and toyed with my package. Then he slid his hand down to my half-fucked hole. "Are you sure about that?"

I let out a little scream. "Stop fucking teasing me!" I yelled. "Get inside me. Now!"

Chad seemed to love it. He flashed a toothy grin, then ran his hands up my legs. At that moment, he was in total control-- which seemed to be just the way he wanted it.

"Are you gonna fuck me or not?"

He suddenly thrust forward, and his dick slammed deep inside me. I let out another scream, although it felt so good that I couldn't complain. Then Chad leaned down and kissed me again.

I was pretty much ecstatic by then. I loved making out with Chad while he fucked me. I savored the taste of his lips, and I ran my tongue around his. I was so focused on his body that it seemed like nothing else mattered.

Eventually Chad broke off the kiss. He made his way to my Adam's apple, and he continued down my neck. The next thing I knew, Chad was sucking on my skin. It felt incredibly erotic-- way more than I'd expected-- so I kept moaning in response. I could totally feel the blood rushing into my neck, not to mention my cock.

"Oh shit," I said. "Oh shit!"

Chad's body was starting to tense up. After a minute, he finished sucking on me, and he threw his head back. "I'm getting close," he said.

I marveled at the beautiful muscles above me. "Cum in me," I said. "Just fucking do it."

"Oh baby...."

"Yeah," I said. "I want to feel your hot cum in my ass."

He pistoned for another few seconds. Then I felt his dick expand inside me, and he let out a roar.

Chad's eruption was just what I'd hoped for. I watched his face as he came, and I sensed his warmth flowing through me. I was close myself, so I reached down, jerked myself off, and shot on my chest.

Suddenly we heard a bunch of loud thumps. Apparently my neighbor was banging on the wall. Chad and I both froze for a second, but then we found ourselves cracking up with laughter. I didn't realize how loud we'd been, and I was kind of embarrassed, but I also felt like it was really fucking hot.

Chad pulled out of me, then plopped down on the bed. "Oh shit," he said as he put his fingers on my neck. "You've got a hickey."

I tried to see the hickey for myself, but I couldn't. "How big is it?"

"Well," he said, "I wouldn't wear a wife beater anytime soon. At least not in public. But a polo or something will hide it." He licked his lips. "Sorry."

"When did you hear me complain?"

"I'm just saying." Then Chad kissed me again, and he snuggled up beside me. A few ropes of cum were still smeared between us, but at that point, I don't think either of us cared.

We just laid there for a while, holding each other, and we hardly said a word. It felt like the perfect end to the day. I couldn't imagine anything more intimate than the fact that each of us held the other's load up our butts. I snuggled up against Chad's body, and I breathed in the smell of his skin; but beyond that, I didn't want to move.

Then, slowly but surely, we both drifted off to sleep.

To be continued....