Colin's 'Perfect' Life
The usual disclaimers apply here.
This story contains acts of homosexual behavior. Also if you are under age or it's illegal in your country to read such material then leave.
Enjoy :3
Chapter 5
I gasped in shock at the sight of his back. They were covered in scars, big, ugly scars, from his shoulders to the small of his back and dissapeared into the waist band of his pants. Tears started to swell in my eyes and my anger rose. Who the hell dared to do something like this to a beautifull boy like him. Who dared to lay a hand on MY boy.
He just sat there as I examined his back comletely frozen, my mouth hanging open. I couldn't see his face but at one point he begen shaking slightly. 'Just leave. You know you want to. You don't have to say anything, just leave.'
That woke me up. I had to get a grip, not for my but for his sake.
I did the only thing I knew. I huged him. I took him in my arms as gently as I could. 'I'm not going anywhere. I don't care about the scars, you are still beautifull to me and I still want to be with you and help you.' I couldn't see his face as he was still facing away from me but I could feel him trembeling in my arms and could hear him sobbing quietly.
Slowly he turned to face me and with a doubtfull but pretty much a desperate look he asked 'Really?'
'Really.' I said with a compasionate smile.
'Please don't lie to me.'
'I'm not lying. I don't lie.' And I hugged him close. He buried his head in my chest and held me close.
I held him like that while he has sobbing for I don't know how long. Somewhere along the line I started crying too because I was just so overwelmed with everything. So many thoughts ran through my mind. Who did this to him? What kind of person does such a thing? I wanted to protect him, I wanted to make him feel safe in my arms. I swore to myself that no person would EVER again lay a hand on him again. I didn't care what it took. 'Shhh, It's gonna be okay. I'm here now. I'm gonna protect you. No one's gonna hurt you ever again.' I tried soothing him while I rocked him gently back and forth in my arms.
'Wait. Before you say anything more. You said you wanted to know so now you are getting the whole story after witch I promise you, you wont feel the same.'
I tried to keep my cool and once again simply said 'Try me.'
'I told you my parents kicked me out because I was gay.'
'Yeah..'
'Please, this is hard enough without you interupting me. Just,Just let me get this over with.'
He took a deep intake of breath before continuing.I was silent.
'My parents are real bigots and complete jerks. They hate everyone that's not like then. Especially gays. Our whole lifes they have been force feeding their hate down mine and Shasha's throght. For years I believed I was cursed for beeing this way. I would cut myself, put out cigaretts on my arms an all kinds of stupid shit. ' He moved away from me and shoved me his arms and stomach. Looking closely I saw a bunch of scars. Some older some newer. What scared me whas the fact that some of them looked to be maybe a few days old.
'So I knew it was wrong but hell, I was a teenager and since girls didn't do anything for me, from time to time when I was really horny I would open some gay porn and beat off to it.'
'So one day I was sitting at my laptop in my room beating off to some twinks fucking when sudenlly the door opened and there stood my father. I was frozen with fear. I didn't know what to do. My father's eyes narrowed. He looked at me and with duisgust in his voice he said: 'You are one of them?! My own son a filthy fag?!' I was petrefied. Then he yelled towards the kitchen: 'Marie! Get the whip!' Not a minute lather my mother walked in carrying a leather whip that for years hung over the fireplace reminding us that when we REALLY fucked up that's what we are going to get. Then he made me take off the rest of my clothing and bend over my the back of my chair.Tears streaked my cheeks and I was shaking with fear as I awaited my faith. First silence and then wam, the first hit fell. I screamed out. I can still remember the pain like it was yesterday. ' He stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. His eyes were focused on a spot on the bed, he didn't want to look at me. He was probably afraid of my reaction.
'After that first one, cracks covered my back and butt. I could hear the skin breaking, I could feel blood dripping. It seemed like it's never going to end. It was brutal and merceless. When it finally stopped I thought I was gonna pass out but my father had other plans.' Panic swept over me as I felt Alex tense in my arms.
I gave Alex's shoulders a light squeze as if to tell him he's doing great. He continued 'So by then I thought I had nothing more in me stay awake,nevertheless to fight back. I hoped it was over. But it wasn't. 'You wanna be a faggot aye?! Im gonna show you what every faggot needs! Maybe it will knock some sence in you!' I was scared as fuck, I didn't know what he was gonna do, but I didn't have to wait long as I felt his strong arms grab my ass cheeks and pull them apart. Then he did it...h-he...he r-raped me.' By this point he was curled up in fetal position in my arms crying his eyes out. A pitiful sight really.
I was frozen. I just sat there holding him, not moving. I mean, what do you do? What do you say? I didn't know what to do but I didn't let go. If something I held him even tighter. He started sobbing harder and harder. Trough tears he somehow said 'It hurt! It hurt A LOT. I tried to run away from him but I'm small and weak and he's strong and hudge.So there you go, now you know. You are free to leave.' He tried to free himself from my embrance but I din't let go. 'I'm used and broken so why would you ever want to stay?'
I just hugged him tight, kissed him on the forehead and said 'I'm not leaving, not now, not ever.'
He was still avoyding my gaze so I lifted his chin with my finger and made him look into my eyes. 'It's not your fault your father is a monster. It's not your fault he did those horrible things to you. I don't care about the scars. I love you Alex and I'm here for the staying.' At this point we were both crying.
'R-Really? Y-You want to stay after everything I just told you?' He managed to say timidly.
'Yes. As I said, I'm here for the staying.' He just burried his head into my chest and cried harder and harder.
After a while his sobs stopped and he moved away from me not looking me in the eye. He looked to be emarassed.
With one hand I started carresing his cheek and then I leaned in and once again kissed him. It was a long ,passionate, loving kiss. Trough the kiss I wanted to show him how much I loved him, how much I wanted him.
When we finally parted nether of us made an effort to try and move away. We just sat like that, me holding him for a while. Then he spoke 'Is there anything else you would want to know?'
So we spent the next hour or so just talking. He told me how when his parents kicked him out and Sasha found out what they did to him she flipped, beat the absolute shit out of their father (aparently she is very much into kickboxing and karate. Mental note: NEVER get on her bad side haha) moved out, took him with her and they both came to live with David. David is her boyfriend and they have been going out for a few years now. Alex told me how David had always treated him nicely, as if he was his little brother. David and his sister helped him a lot in coming to terms with being gay. The first night at David's, Alex and Sasha spent doing a lot of talking and crying and hugging. She told him how much she loved him, gay or straight, it didn't matter to her ether way. Even Dayid joined in on the conversation and said he didn't care ether and that he would like for him and Alex to become good friends. They even introduced him to some of their gay friends. He said that he never hooked up with any of them tough.
Time flew by rather quickly and before we knew it it was dark outside. I wondered how was that we weren't interupted? Maybe they overheard us and didn't want to bother us.
'I should probably get home. It's already dark outside.' With that I gave him a long passionate kiss before saying 'I'm gonna come over tomorow after school, okay?'
'I'll be here.' he said with a smile that could light up a room.
Reducantly I got off the bed and after a last look and a smile I left the house.
That night I fell asleep rather quickly. With everything that happened I thought I would never be able to fall asleep but I guess I didn't realize how emotionally drained I was untill it was time to go to bed. I fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow.
The next day at school I was practically glowing. I was so happy to finally get Alex to open up a bit. I mean I was still pretty upset because of the things his father did to him but at that point there was nothing I could actually do other than make sure no one ever did that to him again so I decided not to think about it and focus on the positive stuff.
Quinn didn't come to school that day so at lunch it was just Ted and I. I almost chocked on my pizza when Ted said: 'You are in a good mood today, and you seem to mention Alex even more that usual so I'll take it you two hooked up or something?'
'What?! How? NO...um- ' I thought I was gonna have a heart attack.
'Relaaaax bro! You know I don't care and I'm not gonna say anything!' As he said that he even chuckled a bit.
'How did you know? I mean I'm not that obvious, am I?' Panic swept over me.
'Nah, relax. I saw it because well, I know what to look for. So I'll take it you are not ready to out yourself?'
How the hell does he know what to look for? What if he's gay too? Naaah, probably not, maybe he has a gay cousin or a friend or something. He must have seen the confused expression on my face because he continued. 'One of my aunt's sons is gay. He told me when he first found out in the 7th grade, I was 9th grade at the time so I was kind of a hero to him for his whole life; he was always at my heels. So, anyway he told me he was gay and very confused and to this day I'm the only one that knows. That's why I know what to look for.'
I just stared at him for a moment but decided he was a nice enough guy and it would be okay to talk to him, and, I mean he already knows so why not tell him? I lowered my gaze to the floor and answered the question.
'I really don't know bro. I'm confused as fuck. On one hand I really do want to do it and tell the whole world I love Alex. I want everyone to know he's mine and mine only so if anyone messes with him, they will have a problem with me. But, on the other hand I'm scared, I'm scared of what will everyone at school say, what if I get kicked of the football team and worst of all..What if my parents find out? I'm pretty certain my father would first beat the living shit out of me and then kick me out for good. '
'You sure he would really do that? I mean okay he hates gays, but you are his son!'
'Yeah, I'm sure.' I said sadly.
'But hell dude, they don't have to know. I mean when was the last time your parents came to school, or even called to see how you're doing? '
'Never.'
'And aren't they on those goddamn business trips most of the year? '
'Yeah, I'm home alone right now. They are in California, I think.'
'So how are they supposed to find out?'
'I don't know! But I'm still scared!'
'Well are they friends with any of the kids from school parents?'
'No, not as far as I know.'
'Well then I really don't see what you are so scared about.'
'I just am. Try and put yourself in my shoes! If my parents ever found out they would kick me out and then where would I be? Under a bridge?!'
'Yeah, I see where you come from. The bottom line is that it's your choice; you have to decide which risks you will take and which not. '
And with that the discussion was over. We both fell quiet each lost in their own thoughts.
After practice I once again went to Alex's house. Nothing special happened, no crying, no new revelations. Just two guys enjoying each other's company and getting to know each other a bit better. We of course got a fair amount of lip time but we never got out of our clothes. I figured I shouldn't push him, but let him lead us at his own pace. I even stayed over for dinner. Nothing special, just some salsa with pasta and salad. It was nice for a change to have someone to talk to while eating.
I learned a lot about Sasha and David. They are both actually pretty nice!
David is in 4th year of med school and wants to become a surgeon while Sasha isn't going to college.
She wanted to, but she has to work full time so she can support her and Alex. While she was saying that Alex's eyes were fixated on the floor with a guilty look on his face. Sasha noticed and lifted his chin and made him look into her eyes. Then she smiled at him and said 'It's not your fault!' Alex smiled weakly and turned away. She said that, actually, things turned out pretty good for her. Her plan was to go to college and become a physical therapist to meet her father's wishes but after that learn how to be a tattoo artist. She said that was her true passion ever since she was a kid. So actually the only alteration in her plan is not going to college. When they first moved in with David she was pretty desperate to find a job so she became the 'cleaning lady' in, as luck would have it, a tattoo parlor. She became friends with one of the artists who agreed to teach her. One thing led to another and now Sasha is one of the parlor's best artist's.
When we finished I thanked for dinner and I insisted on helping with the dishes but was not gonna have any of that! She quickly sent me to the living room with David and Alex to watch some TV. Alex and I were on the couch while Sasha and David took the loveseat. Since it was Friday I was able to stay late as there was no school tomorrow so we settled in to watch some romantic comedy Sasha wanted to watch. About halfway into the film Alex without a word shifted his position so his head was on my thigh imitating a pillow. He looked up at me and I looked down and smiled. He smiled tot and then turned around to watch the rest of the film. For the rest of the film one of my hands was caressing one of his. About 20 mins more into the movie I looked down and realized Alex had fallen asleep. He was SO cute. I never wanted to wake him up. He looked like he didn't have a care in the world.
When the movie ended only I and David stayed awake. Alex was sleeping in my arms and Sasha in David's. He did to her the same thing I did to Alex, in his eyes I saw the love he had for her. For a while we just sat there observing our loved ones, taking in the beautiful sights in front of us. But as all things that had to come to an end. I carried the still sleeping Alex up into his room and tucked him into bed. Just as I was about to leave he started to stir. 'Shh, it's just me. Go back to sleep, babe. I'll see you tomorrow. ' And I kissed him on the forehead. He opened his eyes and said 'No, please don't leave. Will, you stay the night? Please? It's Friday so we can sleep in tomorrow?' After he said it he looked a tad bit embarrassed and desperate. I think I saw even a hint of panic but I wasn't sure.
'I'm not sure. Won't David and Sasha mind?'
'Nah, they like you.' He said with a glint of hope.
'Sure? Well where would I sleep?' He opened his blanked and gestured me to sleep with him. When I looked at his face his cheeks turned slightly pink.
'Are you sure?' I asked again giving him the chance to back away if he panicked.
He simply nodded with a smile.
'Well okay then.' I said and smiled.
Quickly I stripped off my jeans and t-shirt leaving my boxers on and hurled to bed as fast as I could so Alex wouldn't notice that Junior was getting more excited by the minute.
After I got under the covers I was a bit uncertain of what to do, how to sleep? Not to mention that I was by then stiff as a board and Junior wouldn't let me sleep anyway.
Another few mins passed before slowly Alex turned around to face me and kissed me gently. After that I started kissing him more passionately. Finally after some quality lip time Alex broke away and didn't dare to look me in the eye while saying 'I-I'm sorry. I'm not ready yet. Please I'm so-'
'Sorry for what? Not ready for what?' He looked like he was genuinely scared and was about to cry.
'Hey babe! Tell me what's wrong! Please! '
'I'm sorry I'm not ready to have sex with you. I know you expect-'
I didn't even let him finish his sentence before saying 'Babe, please don't cry over that! It's okay! I'm not here because I want to have sex with you and when I got into this bed the last thing I thought would happen would be the two of us having sex! ' I kissed him on the forehead before continuing 'Sex doesn't mean love. Sex doesn't make love nether more or less meaningful. Sex is just a way for two people to show and share their love for each other. One day, I'm not gonna lie to you, I would like to have sex with you but only when you say you are ready. I don't care if that's next week, in two months, a year, or never. PLEASE do not, I repeat DO NOT feel pressured to have sex with me, okay?'
With tears in his eyes he looked up at me and said 'Thank you.'
I kissed him and said 'You don't have to thank me.' I kissed him again 'I know people treated you badly in the past and I still beat myself over not helping you sooner but now you have me. I am gonna treat you right. I'm gonna treat you the way a man should treat another. I'm gonna treat you the way you deserve to be treated. ' Then I wrapped my arms around him and he buried his head into my chest while weeping softly.
After a while he stopped crying and his breathing changed. He was asleep. I was awake for a while longer just watching him sleep 'till eventually I fell asleep too.
Sorry guys for taking soo long to publish this chapter. I have finals coming up so I hardly have any time to write.
Thank you for reading 'Colin's 'Perfect' Life' pt5!
The story will continue if once again I get good rewievs! :D
Petra.jardas22@gmail.com !
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Ps. English is not my native language so if I made a few mistakes please forgive me.