Collaboration 25
*NOTE* I do not claim to know the celebrities mentioned below or their sexual preferences. This fictional story was written solely for entertainment purposes only and does NOT imply the sexual preferences of said celebrities or anything about their personal lives. Enjoy!
He clenched the link tightly in his hand as he laid back down on his bed. He expected this to hurt but he didn't think it would hurt this much. Like Nelly, he kept replaying the breakup in his head over and over again until all the words started to become meaningless to him. His body was still numb from all the pain it just received as he looked outside the balcony to the snowy view of New York City. He already missed Nelly like crazy. He missed his lips, the way he smelled, his strong arms holding him, and most importantly all the love he showered him with. This is unbearable, he thought, as he tried to clear his troubled mind and fall asleep.
Nelly woke up with a throbbing headache and feeling as if he was missing something. He sat up on his bed and looked out his balcony, which was almost covered with snow. Concluding that it must have snowed a great deal last night, he rested his head slowly on a pillow once again and looked up at the ceiling. It was only a matter of time before everything from the previous night began to weigh down on his mind again. He wasn't sure if he'd ever get over the initial shock or numbness his body felt after T.I. broke up with him and slammed the door in his face. It was a few minutes past nine when he got up to brush his teeth and take a shower.
Standing next to the balcony, he folded his arms and stared out at the dark gray sky. The snow was lightly falling from the sky and blanketed everything as far as his eyes could see. It was a serene scene but he couldn't enjoy it because he was hurting. Tonight was the last show of the tour and then everyone would be going their own way to do their own thing. How will he see T.I. again? How can he fix things between them if they're not together? These thought and even worse ones, plagued his mind to the point of making his headache worse. He stayed at the door for a while, just thinking and contemplating how bad he fucked up his perfect life. He felt tears begin to formulate themselves but he wasn't going to allow himself to cry.
The last show was everything Nelly expected it to be. The crowd was crazy and he fed off that energy to put on one of his best shows, or at least so he thought. He couldn't explain the huge relief that was lifted from his mind and body as he stepped off the stage for the last time. That was it. That was the last show and he did phenomenal, he thought to himself, as he made his way back to his dressing room. After a quick shower, he sat on the couch and began flicking through the channels. The truth was that this was it. He didn't have anymore time to come up with ideas on how to fix things with T.I. He really wanted to go watch the younger rapper on stage but stopped himself because he didn't want to make anything obvious. One of the road managers told him that they'd have their rooms until twelve the next day. Nelly was pretty sure that T.I. wouldn't stay in his room tonight. He'd most likely catch a flight out to finish up his album out in L.A. All of a sudden Nelly's mind recalled how the two first met, his first impression of the caramel colored rapper, how soft and pink his lips when they kissed; Nelly missed him like crazy.
It was more than the sex that he missed though. He missed the warmth and comfort T.I. provided him with. He felt safe when he was with him and as if nothing else mattered. All the deep conversations they had with each other and the talks about their dreams and aspirations was what made Nelly fall even harder for him. He was sure that every time he was with T.I. he had the hugest smile on his face. That's how the younger rapper made him feel; like he was flying and his body was numb from all the sensual pleasure that was simply T.I. He wanted to punch himself hard for fucking around and ruining that once in a lifetime feeling he was fortunate to find.
Seeing nothing good on television, Nelly flicked it off and tossed the remote to the opposite end of the couch. He rested his head on the couch and stared up at ceiling. It seemed that he only stared off into space now because he was either hurting or had a problem on his mind. Before when his mind used to wander away from him, he would get inspired to write lyrics or just contemplate how fortunate his life was but that was far from the case now. He was in pain and since he had no one to turn to now, it inundated his mind at times like this, when he was alone and vulnerable. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't accept that it was over between him and T.I. He didn't want it to be and the only way he figured he'd ever get his man back was by them talking and working through his infidelity.
While on the bus back to the hotel for the last time Nelly decided he had to go to T.I.'s room and talk to him. As hard as it was for him, he had to do it because he couldn't imagine his life without his love. Like yesterday, T.I. opted not to take the bus back to the hotel. He knew he was an easy person to read at times, especially when he was hurt, so in order to avoid the barrage of questions he was sure he was going to be asked on the bus, he just took a limo back to the hotel. The breakup was straining him emotionally. He gave his heart to Nelly and he thought Nelly gave him his heart but he was wrong. How could someone who said he loved him do what he did? Instead of going back to the hotel right away, T.I. told his driver to circle the blocks a few times so he could think.
Nelly didn't know why but he knew that T.I. wasn't in his room when he and the rest of the guys got back to the hotel. Instead of waiting for him like he did yesterday, he decided to chill out in his room for a while. The New York night was cold as he made his way into his room. He decided to pack his stuff because tomorrow was their last day here and he decided to go home to be with his family for a couple days and then most likely come back to New York to finish his album. He honestly didn't think it was going to take this long to record the album but he had to admit that during the tour, he didn't record as much as he normally would have because of T.I. Almost all of each man's extra time was spent with each other and Nelly desperately missed that closeness that they once shared. After packing almost everything in his suitcases, he plopped down on the bed and started watching TV.
He started to nod off a bit but came back to reality when he heard his song "Ride With Me" coming from the TV. He sat there and watched the entire thing, reminiscing on how fun it was making the video and how much he had grown as an artist since then. When the video was over he looked over to the nightstand and saw that it was a few minutes before twelve. He figured that if T.I. wasn't in his room by now that he wouldn't be coming back. Quickly hopping out of the bed, he went and washed his face and splashed some cologne on his body. He grabbed a white cap, his phone, and wallet and discretely made his way to T.I.'s room. He stood in the empty hallway, all the memories of the last time he stood in the exact spot still seared onto his brain. Butterflies crowded his stomach as he knocked on the door.
The shower was on full blast as T.I. cleansed himself of the dirt and stresses that accumulated on his caramel colored skin throughout his long day. The day was made excruciatingly longer for him because Nelly plagued his mind. Every word, sound, and movement from their falling out the previous night was permanently etched into his brain and he couldn't forget Nelly even if he tried. He was the first everything for T.I. How could he just forget everything that Nelly meant to him, despite what he did? His mind contemplated these thoughts over and over again until he heard the knock on the door. Sliding the glass door open, his hands went for a robe but couldn't find it. He peered his head out and saw that there was no robe. Deciding that the maid must have forgotten to replace the one she took, he just draped a large towel around his narrow waist and made his way out of the bathroom and to the door. He looked through the peephole and his heart automatically skipped a beat. He thought about whether he should open the door or not until his heart got the best of him and he opened it.
Nelly stood in the hallway, shocked at the sight in front of him. T.I., in a towel and dripping wet, was almost too much for him to handle. A strong impulse immediately rushed over him to just grab and kiss him right there but he had to stop himself, as hard as it was. Nelly lost himself in T.I.'s hazel eyes. They were the perfect color, he thought, just like the rest of him. T.I. was equally shocked to see his former lover at his doorstep, looking sexy as ever and with faint traces of a cologne that he gave him, Azzaro Onyx. The tension was thick between the men as they stared at each other and not saying a word. T.I. finally spoke after the long awkward moment of silence.
"What are you doing here? What do you want?" he asked in a slightly cold tone.
"Huh?" Nelly fumbled, T.I.'s voice knocking him out of his trance. "I wanted to talk to you. Can I come in?"
"Talk about what?" he responded, completely ignoring the question he was just asked.
"Us. I want to talk about us."
"Us? There is no us anymore remember. I said it was over and I meant it."
He attempted to close the door but Nelly got in the way and just stared at him. "Please," he said in a low voice.
Feeling defeated, T.I. opened the door and let the man he love into his room. He ushered Nelly into the living room and disappeared to get some clothes on. The butterflies had more than multiplied in his stomach as he took a seat on the comfortable couch. This was harder than he thought it would be. He didn't realize until now how much T.I. cared for him and how much of himself he put into this relationship to make it work. These thoughts made Nelly sick because this was only happening because of him and his stupid, selfish mistakes. T.I. did nothing but love, support, and comfort him throughout their relationship and all he got back was heartache. All these thoughts swam through his mind and he became so engulfed in them that he was unaware when T.I. came back into the room and sat on the opposite end of the couch.
"Can I get you anything?"
"Huh? Oh no. I'm good thanks."
"So what is it?"
"You may think that everything was said last night but that's not true. There's so much I want to tell you but I can't put it into words."
"Cornell why are you doing this? I told you that you're free to go be with whoever you want now. That you no longer belong to me."
"That's just it; I don't want to be free. I don't want to be with other people. I want you. I only want you baby!"
"I want to believe you so bad but I can't. I just can't. You hurt me Cornell. I can't trust someone who hurt me the way you did."
"I know and you'll never know how sorry I am about that. I want to make it up to you. I want to be there for you. I want you to love me again."
"I can't love you again because I never stopped loving you in the first place. How can I just turn off my feelings for you just like that? I thought you were the one."
"See baby. Just feed off of that. You already know how crazy I am over you and now that you admitted your feelings, we can repair this."
"It's not that simple and you know it," T.I. said as he got up from the sofa and walked over to the balcony. "As hard as it is for me, I have to move on without you," he said as he stared out at the New York skyline.
"No you don't! I am committed to you and fixing the problem I created."
"You're supposed to be committed to me from the beginning no?"
"Yes but I made a mistake."
"And I don't think I can forgive you for it."
"You just said that you still love me. Why can't we work through this if we both know that we still love each other?"
"Because I don't think I can okay. I can't be with you after the what you did to me. I do love you Cornell but I can't take you back."
"This won't ever happen again. If you don't believe anything that comes out of my mouth ever again, believe that because it is the truth."
"How do I know that for sure? Okay look, I know you told me that it was mainly all the alcohol you drank that led to your night with Melanie. I want you to know that accept that and I forgive you for it."
"Thank you! Now can we jus---"
"Let me finish," he said, cutting Nelly off. "I forgive you because I know that you didn't intentionally set out to hurt me but the point here is that you did hurt me. I remember after the first fight we had, I thought you could do no worse to me but obviously I was wrong. I said that I forgive you for sleeping with her but I can't forgive you for hurting me Cornell. How can I?"
"You're right. I can't say anything to defend myself because you're right about everything. But I think you should be able to forgive me because we love each other."
"I don't know. Why put ourselves in that situation again? Don't you think that would be stupid of us to do so?"
"No it wouldn't because we love each other. I believe that love will conquer all and you should as well. I've never thought about anyone the way I think about you. Hell, I've never felt for anyone what I feel for you. And it only gets stronger as the days go by. I can't help it!"
"I won't stand here and deny what I feel for you. You and only you know what the depths of my feelings for you are. It wouldn't be fair for either of us if I lie and say that I don't love you anymore. But sometimes that love, no matter how deep, is not enough. It just isn't enough."
"No! I don't believe that. I believe that what we have will get us through anything because it's so strong and I feel it in my heart. Maybe we won't work things out today but we will. And I'll be waiting for you."
"No I don't want you to do that. There's no point to it. You have Melanie now. And even if it doesn't work out with her there'll be others. Apart from being very good looking, you're a sexy, compassionate, caring, and talented man. I could list more but you get the idea. You can have anyone you want."
"No I can't because the one person I want doesn't want me. I don't want Melanie or any other person. I want you. I've always wanted someone like you and now that I've found you I am going to fight like hell to keep you and what we have."
A warm feeling gushed inside T.I. That comment made him feel special somehow. "I do want you baby! I want your warmth, your lips, your body but I can't. We can't do this anymore."
T.I. felt vulnerable and Nelly sensed this. He got up, walked behind him and wrapped his arms tightly around the man he loved. T.I. didn't object to this but he thought that he should somehow. Even though it felt right for Nelly to be touching him the way he was, T.I. was confused as ever about what he should be doing. Would it be that bad if he forgave Nelly? He was obviously sorry about what he did and T.I. missed him like crazy. Nelly brought his body closer and rested his chin on T.I.'s shoulders as both men looked out into the beautifully lit city covered in snow, neither of them saying anything.
T.I. missed this more than anything. He missed how it felt when Nelly had his strong arms wrapped around him. He missed the great conversations they had. He missed their intimate relationship. He missed his man. The one for him. These, along with other thoughts, stirred in his head as he stared out into the city and got lost. The moment was surreal and he wanted time to stop at that very moment. His body shuddered, which brought him out of the spell he was in, when he felt Nelly gently licking and kissing his ear and neck. He rested his hand on the back of Nelly's head, encouraging the older rapper to keep going.
T.I. closed his eyes in ecstasy as Nelly kept licking his all over his sensitive ears and neck. He wanted this bad. Both of them did. Nelly carefully and slowly slid his hand under T.I.'s black wife beater and began rubbing his smooth abs. His soft moans only encouraged him to keep going further. Neither knew what this meant. Were they back together? Are things okay between them? Both men's mind was too far away to be thinking about any of the heavy issues. All they knew was that they wanted to feel good right now. With one swift motion Nelly turned T.I. around and crushed their lips together as he pressed him against the wall. T.I. rested both his arms around Nelly's neck as their passionate kiss continued. The intense moment was further fueled by soft moans from both men. T.I. was lost from the passion until he had to stop. It felt wrong.
"Stop," he said in between Nelly's kisses. "Stop! We can't do this."
"Huh? What's wrong babe?"
"I can't do this," he softly said as he walked away from Nelly's grasp.
Nelly followed him to the chair and sat next to him. "Don't you see? You want this as bad as I do. Don't fight what you feel; what you want baby."
"No! Stop it! Stop acting like everything is okay or that having sex will make all these problems go away."
"I didn't say that it will but I see it when I look at you. Just like you see it when you look at me. We could never resist each other and you know it!"
"This time is different. I can't trust you. How do you expect us to be okay if I can't trust you?"
"Because I know you will eventually learn to open up to me again baby. It might not be today, or tomorrow, but I know it will happen. Our love is too strong to let this get in its way."
He saw Nelly move closer to him but he got up from the sofa. "Just go."
"Ca we try to figure this out please? We'll be going our separate ways tomorrow and I want to know if you still want to be with me."
"I don't have an answer for you. Please just go," he said in a slightly weaker voice.
"Okay," Nelly replied, the sadness evident in his tone.
Nelly got up from the sofa and slowly made his way to the door. He didn't want to go but he had no choice because he didn't know what else to say to get T.I. to come back to him. T.I. walked behind him with his head down and eyes glued to the floor. He only looked up when he heard the door click open and saw that Nelly was staring directly at him. T.I. grabbed the door handle and stared at the back of Nelly's head as he walked out the door. The moment was awkward and T.I. didn't know what was expected of him. Should he say something? Was this the right thing after all? He was slightly shocked when Nelly took and held one of his hands. More shockwaves was sent through his body when he felt Nelly's soft lips gently press against his. This simple innocent kiss meant everything to T.I. and he willingly fell into it. In reality it only lasted a couple of seconds but in his mind, it lasted longer than that and he definitely didn't want it to end.
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