Recap
Devante was coughing from choking on Theo's dick. Surprisingly, Devante was not as repulsed as he thought he would be. Sucking dick wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. As he sucked, Theo reached down and started to stroke Devante's dick. That made Devante really excited, and he started sucking more.
Theo pulled his dick out of Devante's mouth and started to slap him in the face with his heavy black rod. Pre-cum was flying onto his face.
Devante begged, "Don't get cum on my..." but was immediately silenced by Theo.
"Shut up and sick this dick" he said as he slid his dick back into Devante's mouth. "Yeah, suck it! Mmhhm... Oh yeah... Uh uh uh..."
As Devante sucked, Theo erupted creamy white cum into Devante's mouth. Not expecting it, Devante gagged and immediately took Theo's cock out of his mouth.
Undeterred, Theo rested his dick on Devante's face and let the rest of his nut dribble out. Devante was a little disgusted by the whole ordeal, but Theo just looked down, blew him an air kiss, and patted him on his back before he walked away to the bathroom.
Chapter 16
Devante sat there disgusted, repulsed, and loathing every second of what he felt. Questions ran through his mind, but there were no answers to be found. He had sucked his first dick. He had tasted his first drop of cum. He had let himself go and he regretted it. The experience had been fine until the very end; it was in that instant, the very moment Theo's dick released those ropes of cum inside his mouth and then hit his face that he felt dirty. He felt like a used rag: something easily discarded without even a second thought.
Devante got up and got dressed. He needed to leave and he wanted to do it quickly. When Theo heard the rustling around, he looked from the bathroom door to see Devante hurriedly heading for the exit. He rushed after him.
"Bro wait, don't run off. The party is just," but he was cut short when his hand touched Devante's shoulder and was quickly grasped by Devante.
"Theo, Imma be real with you right now. You ever fuckin' touch me again, it'll be the last thing you eva do."
Devante let his hand go and looked directly into Theo's eyes. Theo saw three things in Devante at that time. The first thing was the tone of his voice which exuded a serious definitiveness that he did not dare question, the second was the anger in his succinct motions and body posture, and the third was Devante's deep, chocolate eyes. These eyes stared right into Theo's almost as to look into the core of Theo's soul, so he saw it clearly, perhaps more clearly than anything he had ever seen: the hurt in Devante's eyes.
Theo stared back. His eyes began to sting because he could not muster the will or desire to close them for even a second. Theo stepped up to Devante and hastily grabbed the sides of his face to keep Devante from reacting.
"I'm sorry....so so sorry...I got caught up...I didn't mean it, Devante, man, I'm sorry."
The tiniest buddle of salty water began to crop to the side of Theo's left eye so slowly that Devante felt that he had been watching it for hours. Devante, unable to move because of shock, saw the man that had played a girl for pizza and turned him into a bitch only moments ago shrivel into the form of a boy. Their eyes never broke the gaze. Devante had indeed been looking for something. He was looking for raw passion. He was looking for sensual sensations. He searched for acceptance. He needed to find something as desperate as his desire to understand what was happening to him, because of him, and for him. He hunted and the hunt brought him to this apartment, to this very moment, and to Theo.
Tears welled up inside of Devante and fought to escape through his eyes. He battled with them, but it was all he could do to keep pools from forming underneath the defeated shells. He fell to the ground feeling so many indescribable emotions and sensations. Theo fell in front of him.
"Devante, why are you crying bro?"
"Fuck you...Theo. Like you give...a fuck...I've been going through all this shit and..."
"D, I'm sorry. I took advantage and I'm sorry.
"I gotta go Theo," Devante said softly without looking at his companion. He stood up and moved his left hand forward to turn the door handle.
Theo immediately grabbed his right hand. He didn't yank hard enough to signal Devante not to leave, but the hold was firm enough to momentarily stop his procession. Neither spoke both hoping the other would say something first. Devante looked at Theo's hand holding his and thought to stay, but Devante's left hand continued to turn the door. Like a leaf in the wind, the door flew open and Devante escaped.
Devante's heart beat with a solemn rhythm as he wandered home. He felt infinitely smaller by the second. His first openly gay experience had gone so astray. For the first time, he had flowed with the situation, bobbed and weaved with the currents, and even enjoyed what was happening. He remembered fondly all of the happenings until the end. He was bewildered at the thought that Theo could take such advantage of him in that situation and then forlornly show his face when Devante tried to escape. Even with all the open road in front of him, Devante felt trapped by his emotions of experiences.
As Devante finished his nearly 45 min walk back to his dorm, he started wondering what would come of his relationship with Spencer. The last conversation they had ended with him staring at his roommate's cock and basically admitting to fantasizing about it. What was Spencer going to say when he got back to the room? Was he going to try to beat the shit out of him? Was he going to go back and find that Spencer packed up and switch rooms? The ambiguity put him on edge more than the situation from which he had just fled.
As he climbed the last flight of stairs and approached his door, he took a deep breath and put his key in the door. He hoped that he would turn the knob and find Spencer still out, but there was no such luck.
"Hey wassup" said Spencer sitting naked, as usual, in his gaming chair. "You want to get in on this" he said gesturing toward the game he was playing on the TV.
Devante was caught a bit off guard. He paused. Was this some kind of trick to get his defenses down or something? "Uhm, naw I'm good" Devante finally responded.
"What's wrong with you" Spencer said as he paused the game to get up and grab a pop out of the fridge.
"What you mean?" Devante responded
"You're just acting weird. Did something happen?"
Devante was not sure how to respond. It seemed as if a few hours ago had never occurred. Spencer acted as if he had not found his naked picture under Devante's bed and approached him about it. Devante was filled with ambivalence about what was going to happen but chose to retort nonetheless.
"Nothing happened... I just wanted to make sure we're cool." Devante hesitated. "We ARE cool right?"
"Aww, you still tripping about that shit from this morning?"
Devante nodded
"Aww yeah, we good. I don't have no problem with gay people. You can fantasize about whatever you want to, shit." Spencer flashed Devante a smile. "I heard gay dudes give the best head anyway!" Spencer casually mentioned before returning to his game.
"What the fuck? Gay?" Devante pondered to himself. He stood awkwardly in the middle of the room without speech. How could he even reply to the question? Was he gay? He understood the things he had been doing to be gay, but he had never considered himself a gay person. He was not even sure how he felt about girls anymore.
With surmounting conflictions he replied, "Hold up, ain't nobody say shit about being gay!"
Spencer paused his game again. "Then what would you call it...hiding pictures of naked men under your bed?" Spencer asked in a tone that let Devante know he already knew the answer to his rhetorical question.
"First off, it was one picture and I never actually jacked off to it, and second, what would you call yourself then. If I recall correctly, you had multiple men's dick in your hand jacking them off and you even kissed me. What would you call THAT?"
Spencer was caught a little off guard, but responded to his inquiry, "I'll admit it, I'm a little curious, but that's about as far as it goes. I don't ever see myself sucking dick or getting fucked."
"Are you trying to say I do?" Devante responded feeling internally grateful that Spencer couldn't read his mind and find out about what had happened just an hour ago.
"I'm just going off of what happened this morning."
"Ok, since you bring that up what straight "curious" person pulls out their dick and puts it in front of gay person if they aren't expecting any action?"
"Listen Devante, let's just drop this! If you're straight that's great! If you're gay that's cool too; I really couldn't care less. I'm just saying I'm cool with you."
"Whatever Spencer," Devante exclaimed as he pulled off his pants and threw on some basketball shorts.
Spencer played his video games for another hour or so before he left to meet up with Jeff while Devante spent the rest of the night studying until he fell asleep with his head on his textbook.
The rest of the week was uneventful. Friday afternoon rolled around and it was time for his first swim practice with the guys.
He arrived at the Rec center at about 3:30pm to find the place nearly deserted. He went into the locker room and threw his gym bag on the bench. He grabbed his trunks out and quickly changed. As he was throwing his shirt into his locker, the rest of the team strolled into the locker room.
"That kid's a fucking faggot dude and I told him never to even look at me again. Fuck that faggot. Yo, what's up D," Peter said to Devante as he walked to his locker to change for practice.
Devante stood there still holding shirt. He was caught a little off guard by the entry and was not sure if there was an underlying meaning to the conversation.
"Nothing much Pete," Devante responded. "What's up with you?"
"He's mad about this kid, who may or may NOT be gay, looking at him as he jogged here," Michael explained to Devante. "I saw you looking a little confused, so I figured I'd explain it," Michael said playfully.
"I wasn't confused," Devante quickly retorted and continued changing.
"Yea, ok," Chase said as he slowly turned back to Peter surprised by Devante's response. "Pete, you need to calm down bro. You don't even know why he was starring at you, and if it was cuz he was gay, be flattered. It's not like the kid said anything to you."
"Fuck that Chase," Peter angrily responded. "That faggot looks at me and then starts thinking about me naked and shit and then I can't even run around campus without worrying about this fagtard." Peter slammed his locker and then returned to speaking. "Fuck that," he exclaimed.
Jeffrey and Chase both shrugged in unison and decided to dismiss there clearly confounded friend.
"Pete, say whatever you want, but he wasn't bothering you and his eyes aren't ever going to hurt you. Not to mention, you're coming off a little douche bagish right now," Michael said looking squarely into his face.
"So you a fag Mike? You like what you see to fag? Is that why you're defending that fagtard, Mike?"
"If I was Pete, a douche like you wouldn't do it for me brah."
"Chase, Jeff, D, you heard him, he's a fag. Mike's a fuucckkinnnggg fag," Peter slowly stated as he walked chauvinistically around the locker room.
"He's not a homosexual Peter," Jeffrey calmly replied. "He is clearly tugging at your emotions and it's obvious to see why. You are being a little barbaric about this."
In the midst of the entire discussion, Devante looked from one person to the next unable to interject for fear of them realizing what he had done only a week earlier. He was not even completely comfortable where he was or with whom he was. He knew that he had to sit this conversation out. He sat out so fervently that he had not even heard what was arising around him.
"And I know D could agree with me when I say that if they keep to theirselves then fine, but when you start looking at me and what I got, you're going to find that I got a problem. Right, D?"
Devante stood near his open locker flabbergasted by what had just happened. Even though he did all that he could to remove himself from the situation, he was left standing there as the other 8 eyes in the room rested on him and his 2 eyes on lockers across from him. He was speechless. He did not know what to say or even how to react. He was scared that his past actions were written on his face, scared that they were looking through him, and absolutely terrified he might say anything that would give him up. He turned to Peter and opened his mouth to speak.
"I mean... I guess. I don't have nothing against gay people as long as they do their stuff with someone else, ya know."
"Exactly," Peter bellowed as he high fived Devante looking at the other three.
"This is such a waste of my time," Jeffrey said. "Let's practice!"
Peter, Michael and Jeffrey gathered their towels and walked out to the pool. Devante turned once more to his locker and noticed that Chase had not broken eye contact with him since he spoke.
"Pete's a fucking idiot, D. He is cool to chill wit occasionally and is a great swimmer, but the dude is a walking trailer park at times brah," Chase said looking at Devante.
"Yea, but I hear what he is saying, ya know Chase," Devante replied.
"D, I'm sorry for all the shit he said." Chase turned to walk away.
"Yo, why the fuck you apologizing to me fo what he said," Devante quickly snapped back at Chase.
"Cuz D, and you don't need to admit it right now, but cuz youre gay," Chase plainly answered.
"Wh...what...what you mean cuz I'm gay," Devante asked as the realization of what was happening began to settle in.
"My older brother is gay D. I know the reactions of people who aren't out to particular situations. It's cool brah and no one will ever know from me, but we on da same team, so you need a shoulder or an ear, let me know."
With that Chasewalked out of the locker room as Devante looked on. All he had done, all he had said, and all he had not said did not keep one keen observer from seeing what Devante tried so desperately to hide. Chase, with absolute certainty, knew about Devante and Devante let his feelings of resolute helplessness take hold of him as he turned into a pile of marble rubble on the dirty, scarped, blackened tan tile underneath him.
This concludes Chapter 16.
Many thanks to my friend and fellow author, Johnny, who wrote this chapter for me. If you want to contact him about the chapter shoot him a message at xenos0121@gmail.com .
For all of my readers who are upset because this chapter took so long I truly apologize. I seem to be reneging on my New Year's resolution. My job has become very stressful so I don't have as much time as I used to to devote to writing. I will try to do better!
As always, I love hearing from you so email me your thoughts (the good and the bad) at TomTheWriter@ymail.com. Also, don't forget that this story would not be possible without this site so please consider donating if you can :).