Colors of August

Colors of August Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Can you believe they still didn't find those savages?" Aunt Loribeth stated.

We're at brunch in Aunt Loribeth's tea room.  When she uses the word savages I almost cringe in my goddam seat.   The town pastor Reverend Pierson had come for morning tea.  He'd been praying over Carol, making a big deal about what happened.  You would think the girl was possessed by how they kept her locked in her room, anointing her every hour with holy water.

"The cops ought to question your garden boy," the good Reverend suggests.

"He says he doesn't know them," Aunt Loribeth asks turning to me almost immediately, "Did you by any chance see the garden boy with those boys August?"

She's looking at me with this weird face.  Everyone looks at me.  Across from where I'm sitting June Bug and Mary have gathered around.  Mary is in tears over her friend.  She's been like this for the two days since it's happened.  You would think her friend was dead to the world by how Mary was reacting.  I kind of felt bad June Bug had to comfort her as much as he's doing.  Then there was Chuck.  When his mother asks me the question Chuck just stares at me with this look of suspicion.  It's almost as though he can see *right through me.

"No, ma'am.  I was outside with Stevey."

"What were you guys doing outside?" Chuck asks.

"Does it matter?"

"Just curious, why you took that fine girl to a colored bar," Chuck asks.

There was that feeling.  It was that feeling as though everyone had been thinking the same thing Chuck just asked me, what no one else had the balls to ask it.  Chuck did though and when he did everyone at Brunch turns over to me.  Never mind the fact that the colored house girls were refilling their drinks and probably pretending not to be bothered by the deep tinge of racism in the sunroom.  They wanted answers.

"It was her idea," I  state.

"That's very Northern of you."

"It's not his fault," Aunt Loribeth states, "I say something needs to be done.  Look at Mary.  Po' girl.  She ain't eat since it happened."

"The officers will find those savages," the good Reverend states, "By God's grace they'll hang for what they did."

"No Offence, Reverend Pierson, but the police are taking too long. We'll find them, ma'am," Chuck tells his mother standing up over us, "Gathering a couple of my boys now.  Having a meeting later.  June Bug and August, you're more than welcome to come.

June Bug looks a little nervous, "Don't want to leave Mary..."

Chuck gives him a weird look.  He doesn't believe his brother.  I know June Bug.  I knew he would be uncomfortable with something like this.  Who did Chuck think he was?  Did he think he was the law or something?

He turns to me, "What about you, August?  Surely, you feel responsible for what happened to that girl.  Surely you'll be a man and do something about it."

He's calling me out and once again everyone is looking at me.  Once again everyone is judging me.  My heart sinks into my chest.  I want to say no.  I want to tell Chuck to go fuck himself.  This was getting way out of hand.

"I'm sure I can help out...somehow," I state.

I make it as vague as possible hoping this isn't locking me into anything.  I wanted nothing to do with Chuck and his boys.

"I tell you where to start," Aunt Loribeth states out of nowhere,  fanning herself as she gets worked up with the conversation,  "I'd start with Stevey. He's a very popular boy.  He has been in Birmingham all his life.  He knows the boys.  Believe you me!  He knows something.  I can feel it.  I'm not telling you boys what to do but I'm telling you their kind usually can talk a little bit better without teeth."

"Praise God," Pierson agrees, "Praise God."

~

My heart is rolling in my stomach.  I don't know what to do.  Chuck and his boys were meeting tonight.  They wanted to plan.  And Aunt Loribeth was just so sure Stevey had something to do with it.

I don't know why I find myself escaping in the middle of the day and going to the garden shed.  There is where I find Stevey.  He is shirtless having worked so much in the garden.  His slim frame is almost beautiful as I walk up behind him without him knowing.  He's sweating profusely and I watch him rinsing out his hands with a hose.  I watch his back muscles.  He leans up against a rake grabbing the rake handle to stand with.  I watch the sweat dripping down his back, slowly cascading like melting ice into the crack of his ass.  He bends over slightly, revealing a little bit more of his ass.  I'm staring, almost mesmerized.

For that moment I'd forgotten why I'd even come into the garden shed.

For that moment, I'm turned on and I've become myself in a way that I hadn't even really admitted to anyone.  My dick is hard, pressing up against the lining of my pants so hard that I swear my fly splits open.  I realize in a moment that I am exposed and he turns just in time for me to position my hands in my pocket, pull my pants and conceal my embarrassment.

"Mr. Crawford, is everything alright?" he asks.

"August, just August."

"August," he says with a smile, "Did you need anything?"

He has a beautiful smile.  He's not as combative as when I first met him.  I wonder if he's lightened up to me.  It excites me.  It excites me so much that I remove my hands from my pocket.  My pants flatten and he seems almost immediately to see the significant print in my pants.  He stares for a second, an awkward second and I know that I'm exposed to him.  I'm curious when he looks away.  I turn away from him wondering how embarrassing this was.

"I apologize, I uh..."

"I get like that in the mornings too," he states, helping me out.

I adjust myself again before turning back to him, "Right.  Mornings.  That's the issue.  I ought to get to the point.  People are talking about Carol's attack."

"Attack."

"The rape," I state.

He gives me a look, "So you believe it.  You believe there was a rape?"

I stand there and cross my hands, "I haven't really thought about it.  That night is still confusing to me..."

"It didn't happen, sir.  Your friend is a liar," he states bluntly.

I can't lie that a part of me had that thought as well.  Carol was very blunt with her sexuality.  I'd seen her flirting with those boys.  I didn't know what happened after that, but she also seemed like a very honest girl.  She seemed like a good person.  What if it really did happen?  What if they crossed the line with her and took advantage of her in a way that they couldn't.

"What happened?"

"Two of the boys had sex with her.  The strong looking one didn't," he explains.

"You ought to tell that to the cops then.  You should tell them to turn themselves in.  Before things get worse?"

"Worse?"

"Chuck and his boys are meeting up.  Those guys.  They are trying to take things into their own hands.  If you know what I mean."

I expect this to trigger him, "I don't."

"People are saying you may know something."

He laughs, "I'm not worried about Chuck."

He wasn't really getting me.  I approach him.  I grab his arm and I literally want to shake the sense into him.  I'd seen the look in Chuck's eyes.  There was a hatred there.

"You don't get it.  You're in danger..."

He laughs.  I'm shocked.  He laughs right in my face.

"Who do you think you are?"

"I'm a guy who is trying to warn you."

"You come from the North and you tell me that I'm in danger.  As though it's some revelation.  As though you're breaking news.  And what are you, sir?  My white savior?  I know what it is.  And like I said.  I'm not worried about Chuck.  He wouldn't hurt me."

He's so sure.  So goddam sure.  Did he know something about Chuck that I didn't?  Chuck was a monster.  He was a goddam monster.

I want to argue with him.  I may not have been from this area but I was good at reading people.  I saw how almost antsy this Chuck man was to take the law into his own hands.  I saw how he talked down to the law.  I heard the glimmer of anger in his voice.  He was a rich white boy who worked for his father.  He could make his own hours.  He and his so-called `boys' wanted nothing more than trouble.

I'm about to address him when I hear a knock on the barn.

I take a step away from Stevey.

I'm surprised when I see Mary Flannery standing outside the outhouse.  She isn't crying like she was before.

"Sorry I hope I'm not interrupting."

Stevey and I look at one another.  The last thing I expected was her to be here.

"Can I help you, Ms. Flannery?" Stevey asks.

"Just was taking a walk in the gardens," she states, "May I talk to you August?"

"Sure," I state.

I'm nervous.  What was she doing here?  What did she think when she saw me talking in private to Stevey?  My stomach is bubbling at that moment unsure of what to do.

As we walk in the garden we notice cars pulling up.  Strange cars.

"The good ole' boys are here," Mary Flannery states.

She doesn't look up.  I stare over at her. We walk around the garden once and then she circles around to do it again.  She doesn't say anything after that.   I look over at the cars she's talking about.  I watch Chuck hugging the guys.  They are all younger white men.  I count about 10 of them.  Maybe 15.

"I'm sorry this happened...to Carol," I state.

She looks over at me, "You saw it happen?"

"What?"

"The rape."

"No.  No, I didn't see anything," I state.

Mary sighs, "Didn't think you did.  You seem like a good boy August Crawford.  Carol's a good girl too.  She has a way about her though.  I'm sure you've noticed."

I look over at Mary.

"What are you saying?"

"Let's skip the formalities.  Carol likes to fuck niggers," Mary explains, "I've seen it.   And I see you ran off to tell Stevey what happened at brunch.  I'm saying if things didn't happen the way my friend said they happened, it's best if we all just mind our business."

"You don't think Carol got raped either?"

Mary rolls her eyes, "Of course not.  But what can you do about it?  It's too late you know?  The good ol' boys are here now.  It gets pretty bad down here, August.  I appreciate you being a good person, but unfortunately, that doesn't matter down here."

I look at Mary.  June Bug's fiancé.

"You telling me to keep my mouth shut, Ms. Mary."

"I'm saying it'll be easier...if you did," Mary explains to me.

I'm pissed.  I stop walking.  I'd never had someone say something so negative and evil in such a calm voice.  She gives me this smile.  This pretty smile on her face that was beyond fake.  It makes me think all those tears she was crying was just as fake.

I was surrounded by serpents.

And the more I thought about it, the more I felt sick to my stomach.   Stevey wasn't listening to me about Chuck.  For some reason, he thought he was safe.  And the worst part of all of this was I didn't get it.  If Mary knew that Carol was lying then why the hell was she going out of her way to protect her.

~

I'm in the house before I know it.  I keep walking around.  Stevey wasn't listening to me.  In the main room, I can see the guys already drinking.  I notice something as I walk past.  I notice guns.  They had brought their guns with them.   Aunt Loribeth was probably really happy about that.  I feel my stomach turn.

I had to do something.

But what?

Go to the cops?  Tell them Carol was lying?  Expose Carol's secret.  But the thing about Carol is that she had a secret of my own.

Carol knew I was gay...

I find myself making my way to Carol's room.  I knock at that moment.

"Come in," Carol states.

I walk in the room.  Carol's blinds are down in the guest bedroom of the house.  She seems all flushed and red almost as though she's sick.  Taking a look at her, she seems so little.  She seems so insignificant.  She was a pretty girl, but nowhere near as pretty as Mary Flannery.  She wasn't pretty enough to be causing all this trouble.  Carol sits on her bed and she just seems unaffected by me walking in.

"Chuck and his boys are downstairs," I state.

"I see..." she states.

She doesn't even look me in the eyes when I'm talking.  I wondered how she felt about all this.

"We shouldn't have gone there that night," I explain to her.

"Don't you think I know that August?"

"Well, what you going to do about it?"

"What you mean?"

"I mean how are you going to fix this?" I ask, "Chuck and his boys are downstairs.  They got murder in their eyes."

"I didn't ask anyone to do a damn thing," Carol states.

I'm pissed.  I'm beyond pissed.

"Carol, you know what I am," I state, "You clearly know I ... like Stevey.  He's in danger right now.  If something happens to him."

"Him?  What about me!"  Carol states.

Carol turns to me.  Her tears are welling up in her eyes.  They swell up big time.  I'm surprised when she's crying like this.  I had seen Mary and her fake tears.  This isn't really what is happening with Carol.  Carol's tears look...well...they look real.

"Mary spoke to me.  She told me about being...quiet."

"Nothing for you to speak about.  You weren't there."

"Let's stop Carol," I state, getting more and more pissed off by the moment, "What if something happens to those boys over a lie?"

Carol looks at me.  She looks at me hard.  There is this confusion in her eyes.  It's this confusion that I don't quite understand.

"You think I'm lying?"

I can almost laugh.

"Carol, I talked to Mary.  She already exposed you."

"Was Mary there?  Mary doesn't know shit about what happened but the fact that I like black men. That's it!  Mary can go fuck herself for all I care."

Mary didn't believe her.  Regardless Mary was trying to keep me quiet about everything.  Carol's anger at the fact that Mary truly didn't believe her was definitely something I wasn't quite expecting.

"You can stop pretending.  It's just us."

"Those boys raped me," Carol states, "I put that on my life, August."

I'm so confused.

"You wanted it," I explain at that moment, "You wanted to have sex with them."

Carol gives me a hard stare, "I wanted to have sex with one of them.  Beau.  We were in the bathroom.  We were going to be intimate.  Then all of a sudden he calls his friends in.  I remember them holding me down.  I remember them forcing themselves on me.  I remember them taking advantage of me, while Beau watched saying how he would never dirty his dick in a white girl.  He laughed as his friends raped me.  He laughed the entire time."

My heart stops.

Carol was emotional.  She was overly emotional.

Was she trying to play me?

Was she telling the truth?

"You wanted it..."

Carol looks at me hard, "You're saying because I'm a whore, that I asked for this..."

"No...just..."

"You think because I'm a woman with a sexuality that I can't pick and choose who I want to have sex with and under what situation.  Because I choose to give myself to one man that should just automatically mean that I am giving myself to every man?  Is that what you think of me."

Tears.  More tears.

Real tears.

I'm so fucking confused.

"Stevey says you're lying...Stevey..."

"I thought you were a good man," she states, "I'm not a racist.  I have no reason to lie about those boys.  Stevey is the racist.  You saw how uncomfortable he was when he sat down.  Beau is a racist.  I'm telling the truth about what happened.  You can believe what you want.  Run to the police if you want.  Tell them I'm lying."

"Is this some sort of trick?"

"No trick.  If you're scared about me exposing your sexuality then don't worry about it," she states, "I won't.  But a word to the wise.  Don't you trust Stevey..."

I walk out of the room without saying another word.  I'm more confused than I've ever been.  I could have sworn that Carol was lying the entire time.  I could have sworn she wasn't telling the truth.  Mary clearly thought the same thing.

But after talking to Carol...after seeing her passion.

I just had no idea.

I just knew there was one person who was innocent in all of this.  That person was Stevie.  And that's when I hear something.  Screams.  I hear them as I walk outside on the porch.

It's coming from the outhouse.

~

I approach.  I thought I would have been able to convince Carol to stop what was about to happen but there was no convincing her because she honestly believed she was a victim.  So when I walk outside I know that I'm too late.

I run to the outhouse.

That's when I see them.

"What the hell!"  I scream, "What the hell!"

Chuck is standing off to the side.  He's watching.  His arms are crossed.  I watch how Stevey looks up at him.  Stevey has this look of horror in his eyes.  For some reason he trusted Chuck and it's clear that trust has completely been betrayed.

"I tried to tell him that nothing would happen if he just told the truth," Chuck says with this heaviness to the tone, "If he just told the truth..."

"That's what the nigger gets," one of Chucks friend's state.

A few of them are up.  Three of them have their dicks out.  Stevey is laying completely naked in the middle of the room.  He's completely nude.  He's bleeding. He's bleeding out of his ass.

The boys didn't fuck him.  Not with their dicks.  Maybe they felt like they were too good to even rape him.

Instead, they jacked off and I notice that he had been penetrated.

He'd been penetrated with the rake handle.

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