Colors of August Chapter 7
Chapter 7
"It's going to be exciting, everyone's going to be out," June Bug is telling me, "Got my girl a dog tonight. She always wanted a greyhound."
I can see how June Bug talks about Mary Flannery. He really seems to like her.
"Did you give it to her yet?"
"Sure did. You should come down and see him. I named him July. Like us. Come on. Come down. Everyone's already downstairs. Even Carol..."
He winks at me as though I should care that Carol is downstairs.
June Bug is trying to get me excited about the party. We're in my bathroom. From the music flowing downstairs, I have a feeling the party has already started. I look in the mirror. I think a suit fits me. I don't get the chance to wear too many. I have my hair slicked back and gelled. My eyes were hazel today, which almost made me look older and more mature than I really was. Truth is I have this rolling feeling in my stomach that all of this is for nothing.
"Hey, June Bug?"
"Yeah?"
"You've known Carol for a while, right?"
"Of course."
"Do you think she is telling the truth about the rape?" I ask.
June Bug looks at me as though I have two heads or something like that. He seems a little amused that I asked him that question.
"Why would she lie about that?" June Bug asks.
"Maybe...I don't know. Maybe she was embarrassed about it or something," I explain.
June Bug gets quiet. He's thinking about it.
"Can't say I didn't think it was weird that she took you to a negro bar, to begin with," June Bug says, "People around here...we don't do that."
"Exactly. And she was..." I start out before taking a deep breath, "She was flirting with them June Bug..."
"Serious?" he asks.
"I swear."
I couldn't make this shit up. I haven't been able to sleep or anything like that since it happened. That night keeps playing in my mind. The cops keep dropping by to give updates on their search. Then there was all this stuff that was going on with Stevie and Chuck. It seemed like that one night had messed everything up.
"Man those are serious allegations," June Bug says, "People are going crazy out here. If those boys are caught they'd be lucky if they get a trial. They might just be shot on sight."
"What do you think I should do?"
June Bug pauses for a while, "Go back to the police. Let them know everything you know about the flirting that was going on."
"They won't listen..."
June Bug shrugs, "Maybe it'll embarrass Carol so much she'll just admit she's lying..."
June Bug had a point. The most I could do is tell the truth. I'm glad that I have at least one Crawford down here that wasn't batshit crazy. The more I was down here the more I felt like I had stepped into some strange world where everything was backward. It was nice knowing there was at least one Crawford who still had his wits about him.
It was a long shot but it was worth a try to go into the specifics of how Carol was flirting with those boys.
"You're right," I admit.
June Bug puts a smile on, "Don't let it stress you. You look nice. Any girl out there will be crazy about you. Maybe tonight you might find the one."
Just when he says that thoughts about Stevey start rolling in my head. I hadn't felt the connection I've felt with Stevey with any girl in my life. Just thinking about the fact that he was going to be at the party tonight made me tingle inside of my body.
"You might be right..." I tell June Bug.
"See I like that," June Bug says, "So why don't you go ahead and hurry out of here. The staff is going to come tidy up the rooms in a bit anyway. I'll meet you downstairs."
As June Bug leaves I'm in the bathroom just thinking about Stevey. He definitely seemed to like me and the idea that he was interested the last time I met him made me think that tonight was going to be great. I feel like a kid getting nervous all over again for Christmas. This wasn't what I usually did. When there is a knock on the door I am so into my thoughts that I don't even hear it until it continues several more times.
I move towards the door, sure that it's June Bug forgetting something in my room. When I open the door, however, I'm surprised when I see Peter standing there.
"Pete?"
The Crawford driver is standing there out of his regular uniform. He has on a tuxedo. It looks as though he was attending the party. It makes me feel some type of way that the white staff is allowed to come to the party as guests but the negro staff wasn't.
"Hey August," he states, "I ran into June Bug on the staircase. He told me I could find you here."
"Did you want anything?"
"May I come in for a second?" he asks.
I look at him suspiciously. The last time Peter and I met it didn't end up too good. He was so disrespectful to Stevey that I ended up threatening him. The smile that he has on his face, however, shows that he isn't here because he found some bravery and wanted to get even.
"Sure."
He walks into the room. He's about 15 years older than I am at the most, but he pulls himself together really well. He looks more like he could fit in with the Crawfords instead of working for them.
"What do I owe the pleasure?"
"I wanted to apologize," Peter states giving me another smile, this time letting his lips linger slightly open to flash his teeth a little bit, "How I acted with Stevey was unprofessional and uncalled for."
This was the last thing I expected at that moment. I'm pleasantly surprised actually. Peter came off really entitled when we had the incident between the three of us. The fact that he is here at this moment apologizing definitely makes me think of him in a new light. I finally return the smile that he has and reach over to give him a pat on the shoulder.
"Water under the bridge Pete."
As I move forward to touch his shoulder I realize he makes a move to touch me as well. I'm surprised when he doesn't reach for my shoulder to give me a friendly gesture though. Pete has something else in mind!
Within a matter of seconds, I feel Pete's hand on my package. He holds onto my dick through my slacks as if he is clinging to a rope from the side of a cliff. At first, I don't react because I'm just really shocked he had the balls to do something like this. Then when I do react I find myself pushing him. I push him as hard as I can.
"What the hell you thinking, man?"
"I'm thinking you like the same thing I like," Pete states, "I know the signs. You have to know the signs out here. Especially when you want something bad enough. You have to know the signs."
He licks his lips so thoroughly that I would think he was salivating from the smell of the food downstairs. He looks at me hungrily. He's not looking at my eyes though. He's looking at my crotch. His eyes are glued to my crotch area.
"Just because I'm like you don't mean, I'm interested in you," I state.
"When we first met..."
I cut him off immediately, "Things have changed since we first met."
I know what he's talking about. I remember flirting with him when we first met. I remember feeling like he was sexy. There was something about an older guy who had the radar to detect another gay man that turned me on. It was rare to find another gay person even in Philadelphia. He was attractive as well. Clean cut, tan and mature. He has a few wrinkles around his eyes but they added to his character.
Those wrinkles are showing even clearer than ever now when he squints at me raise up an interested eyebrow to say, "What changed?"
"Met someone."
"Stevey?" he asks.
"What, of course not," I lie.
He laughs at the thought at that moment getting off the bed, "It's Stevey. I can see it all in your eyes. I should have known by how you protected him. I should have seen it. My, oh my. How things become clear as day."
He seems amazed to find out this information.
I'm desperate at that moment. I'd seen what the Crawfords were capable of. Chuck had admitted that his father had attempted to kill Stevey. I couldn't go to the cops because no one would believe it. I couldn't tell Stevey because he didn't want to know. I couldn't even take him away because he refuses to leave. I couldn't leave because well... I had feelings for him. I had feelings for Stevey.
So I was stuck here, entertaining this sideways world where everything looked good and hospitable on the surface but underneath everything was a mess.
"You can't tell anyone," I state.
It's pure desperation that makes me say it that way. At this moment I've already seen how this world was and I knew Charlie Crawford already wanted to find an easy way to get rid of Stevey. I didn't want to give a reason to speed up the process.
"What do I get for keeping my mouth shut?" he asks.
"What?"
"You heard me. What do I get for keeping my mouth shut?" he asks.
"You trying to bribe me, Pete?"
"I don't want money," he states, "The kind of guy I am I'm all about passion. Just let me taste your passion. Put it on your tongue and I won't say anything...ever."
"You're sick."
He laughs at the thought, "Nah, just horny. Take it or leave it, man."
I think about it. This guy was an older guy who really had nothing to lose. I could out him as well but what would that achieve. It would just cause a shit storm and he was just a lowly driver with nothing much to lose. He knew it. The sparkle in his eye tells me he knows it.
I have no choice.
"Get on your knees," I tell him.
I unzip my fly and he drops to his knees desperately. He starts to try to help me get my cock out of my pants but I slap his hands away. I don't want him to think that he was in control of this. This was something that I was doing on my own free will. I didn't want him to think for a second he had the power in this.
"Feed me," he says looking up at me.
I'm surprised it turns me on a little bit when he says it. My dick doesn't get hard until I put my entire shaft on his tongue that is outside of his mouth like a goddam dog. I rest my dick on this tongue and slowly move it to the back of his throat. I push it so far that he gags a little bit. I did it on purpose for him being such an asshole but instead of being turned off he actually seems to like my dick going to the back of his throat. When I pull out I realize there is a wad of spit on my dick.
He doesn't hesitate to start sucking now, bobbing up and down my dick. This time he lets his throat relax and lets my dick go all the way down his throat with no problems or hesitations. He looks up at me the whole time.
It feels damn good.
I can't even lie.
"Ergh..." I find myself panting out of nowhere.
I try to think of Stevie at this moment. In the back of my mind, I want to believe I'm doing this for him but that may not be completely the truth. The truth is I'm so tense since I've come to Alabama. The truth is I needed a release. And this guy was so ready and willing.
"I knew you wanted this," he reacts to my moan.
He puts his lips on my balls at that moment sucking it hard. I let him suck my balls thoroughly. He's not afraid of running his tongue between my hairs. He's not afraid to put the balls in his mouth and gently suck them. It feels so good that after a few minutes I find myself spasming.
"I'm about to cum," I tell him.
He keeps his mouth open. I begin to explode. Semen shoots out of the head of my dick. He looks up at me hungrily slurping up every piece of it. His mouth is desperately open gagging for it, wanting it all the way down his throat. I've always wondered how semen tasted and seeing him slurp it down like this, you would think it was a delicacy.
I stare at him amazed too drained to do anything. A part of me feels a little guilty. I feel guilty that I enjoyed it so fucking much.
And it's almost as though karma feels that guilt because just at that moment the stars align, the universe recognizes my reaction and the door opens.
Just at that moment in walks Stevey's sister.
"Sorry sir," she states, "I thought everyone had already gone down to attend the party."
I had forgotten to lock the door. Even worse I had forgotten that June Bug mentioned the staff would be coming up to clean the rooms shortly. I feel so stupid when she sees me doing what I'm doing. This was the same girl who literally asked me to take her brother away.
She walks out and I find myself fixing myself in a desperate attempt to mend this situation. I escape so fast that I completely lose sight of Peter.
I finally catch up to Stevie's sister at the bottom of the staircase. The guests have all arrived at the party. It's so busy. It's clearly just as serious as I thought it would be. I'm intimidated for a moment realizing just how grand the party is. The scale enough of the decorations make me dizzy let alone the posh Southerners walking around like they all shit gold nuggets. I get distracted for a second but then I focus enough to grab her.
"I can explain."
"You don't need to explain anything, I didn't see anything," his sister states, "I've worked for this family long enough to know the rules."
With that I watch her put on her own mask. She has a tray in her hands though and even though she looks beautiful it is clear that this girl is nothing more than a servant who has been well trained not to react to shocking things she sees throughout the house.
"It's not about the Crawfords," I whisper to her anxiously wanting her to know, "It's about Stevey."
"Is it?"
"You know..." I start off before stopping abruptly, taking a deep breath and finishing off what I'm saying, "You know what I'm talking about when I say that."
She knew how I felt for her brother. Even if she didn't know the detail she had to have a feeling that I was interested. I can see the big secret on her face. One thing that was becoming really clear as I talked to her was that she didn't sweat. Not for a second. This was a girl who knew how to hold a secret. I could have committed a murder up there and she wouldn't have flinched. I'd never met someone that just seemed so...controlled and almost calculated.
"You have emotions."
"Yes, but upstairs...that was for Stevey. I know it doesn't sound like it. I know it sounds ridiculous. I know..."
"I get it," she responds.
I'm surprised when she says that. She has the same facial expression on her face. She's completely unmoved.
"Emotions are an odd thing," she states with the same blank face, "I've fallen in love before with someone. And sometimes, in order for you guys to be together, you have to make some serious sacrifices. Sex is not the same as emotions. In this world...sex doesn't mean much of anything, does it?"
I can't believe she's so understanding. I smile at that moment.
"Thank you..."
"You should talk to Stevey about it before he finds out a different way," she tells me.
"Of course, you're right. Is he here tonight?"
She pauses.
"No."
"He said he would be here tonight. Mrs. Crawford told him to work."
"He's not coming."
The way she says it seems weird. For the first time since our interaction started, I see her crack even slightly. That cold, empty façade that she puts on just fades away and I get to see her real self and she is a little concerned. I can tell.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"Enjoy your night, Mr. Crawford," she states.
With that, she turns and leaves. She doesn't say another word. I just feel the awkwardness of her at that moment. I have no choice but to let her go. She doesn't seem like the kind of person to get pressured into talking under any circumstances.
I stroll out onto the patio area still worried about my little interaction. Sure I felt good about releasing that nut, but I felt guilty that it wasn't with the person I wanted it to be with. Maybe that's why I am navigating through the party without looking anyone in the eye until I feel a hand grab me out of nowhere. It pulls me towards them.
"There you are," Uncle Charlie states.
"Sir."
"August I want you to meet Roger Millwood."
Carol's father. Uncle Charlie's investor. He's standing there and he just looks like money. Right next to him is a woman who looks just like Carol so I'm assuming it's Carol's mother. Then there is Carol. She is slumped a little bit looking like she'd rather be anywhere else but in this party at this very moment.
"So you the one who took my daughter to the nigger club..."
"It wasn't his fault daddy," Carol states, "I suggested it."
I watch my Uncle Charlie. I'm glad Carol had sense enough to correct the record here but Uncle Charlie knew enough of the facts to let this man come at me assuming something like that. I had no idea what was in Birmingham. It made no sense for me to take his daughter anywhere.
"Those niggers. Those dirty filthy fuckin animals raped my rabbit," Roger Millwood states.
He's shaking as he talks and I swear I think tears are coming down his eyes. This was serious for him. This was not a joke. I look over at how his wife comes over. It's deep how they are taking this. A couple people at the party seem to realize the outburst. It definitely is something that seems to happen often in these kinds of circles. Everyone put on their façade. The fact that he had shown up at this party while he was having such an internal tragedy in itself seemed like a façade. Everyone around him seems to know what he's going through. People are gathering around in an effort of support. It's so goddam grand.
One thing was clear seeing Roger Millwood's reaction. This was not going to go away. It wasn't going to go away anytime soon.
"God will strike justice on them boys, Mr. Millwood," I hear a voice say.
I turn and realize it's Chuck. Not only Chuck either. It's those same boys. The same boys that put a wretch in my stomach. It seems like there are more of them this time. About 10 of them. All young, all in their 20s. Some may even be younger. Seeing all of this is making them angry. I can almost feel the anger in them. I can almost feel the disdain building up.
"That boy Stevey knows who they are. I'm telling you he's protecting them..." one of the boys with Chuck states out of nowhere.
"Why don't they just string him up, as an example to these savages?" Roger Millwood asks.
"String him up?" I ask.
Uncle Charlie puts his hand on my shoulder. He's trying to tell me to stay out of it. Just at that moment, I hear a bunch of people start agreeing with Roger Millwood's opinion to `string up' Stevie. My heart starts racing at the thought of it.
"Stevie didn't have nothing to do with it," I state, "Ask Carol. She's right there."
"He's right," Chuck interrupts surprisingly, "Stevie is innocent in this. Besides, I have been watching his house. Seen some big negros hanging around there. Some real hard looking sonofabitches."
Chuck was damn near stalking Stevey. I don't feel comfortable with it though.
I grab Chuck at that moment. I lead him away.
The group of people are getting bigger and bigger. At that moment even women are getting involved. Things are getting heated and I'm not sure I understand Chuck's motives at this moment.
"He's innocent," I state, "Stevey had nothing to do with this. He trusts you. I don't know why. I don't get it, but he trusts you."
"I know Stevie is innocent," Chuck states shaking his head.
"You're leading them straight to him. If anything happens to him..."
I look at Chuck. All I need is a look.
"What's going on between you two?" Chuck asks me.
This is the second time today someone is clearly noticing something between the two of us. I had to be more careful with Stevie. I had to be careful about how I expressed myself. I wasn't like Stevey's sister. I wasn't a professional at keeping these secrets. I expressed everything and that was my fucking problem. People like Chuck could read me from a mile away.
Right now I'm too angry to even care.
"Nothing," I state, "Yet."
I make sure I add the yet there. His father had made it clear that Chuck was interested.
"Just stick to nothing," Chuck tells me seeming immediately bothered, "And let me worry about his safety."
"The same guy who assaulted him?"
"What you don't get is that they want their pound of flesh. They are going to get it one way or the other. A white woman was raped by a nigger. Did you see what they did in Detroit? Carol only remembers one name. Beau. And none of the niggers we ask are talking."
"So you say they are at his house?"
"Exactly. I'm trying to lead them away from Stevey. You want to see Stevey hung?"
"No...of course not."
"Then shut the hell up, cousin, and let me make sure the right people hang for this," Chuck tells me.
I feel weak at that moment but a part of me gets his point. I see the look in Roger Millwood's eyes. Someone was going to hang for what happened to his daughter. What I didn't get is that these people had their civil rights. Negros had the opportunity to go to trial. That's where this would end up, but who knows how that would go.
I just didn't even want to put Stevey in that line of fire.
So maybe this was the only way. Maybe the only way to keep Stevie safe was letting Chuck deal with things his way.
"Have you guys seen Mary?" we are interrupted.
It's June Bug. He has this concerned look in his eyes. He's really concerned.
"What do you mean?"
"She's missing..." he states, "Been looking for her for an hour now."
Chuck and I turn around looking at that moment. About 5 minutes into searching the party for Mary Flannery we hear a piercing scream. It's a scream of someone who is terrified.
Everyone runs across the court towards the barn, tracing the scream. That is where we see Mary Flannery. She has no shirt. Her breasts are exposed. Her shirt seems like it has been completely ripped off of her.
"The Niggers. The fuckin' niggers did this to me," she states throwing herself at June Bug in a wild uncontrolled manner.
I'm horrified.
June Bug just sits there for a second, "Did they...did they..."
He can't even ask it.
"No, but they were going to. I swear they were going to! They said they got Carol and they were gonna get me next. Look what they did to the dog."
I swear Mrs. Crawford, Mrs. Millford and a few other women faint when they see the dead dog outside of the barn. The dog has been ripped all the way open.
In blood are the words: FUCK WHITEY
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