Disclaimer: Sorry, but it ain't true. I don't know 'NSync, I just admire from a distance. I don't know of the sexualities of the members of 'NSync, I just presume. Now that that's all taken care of...
Thanks to DaraLynn, I don't know where I'd be without you! Haha, probably off dreaming about the Backstreet Boys! Silly me, what WAS I thinking? For bringing me over to the "dark side", this one's for you. :)
~~ Never Saw Blue Like That ~~
"I never saw blue like that before... And it feels like now, and it feels always, And it feels like coming home..."
-- "Never Saw Blue Like That", Shawn Colvin
"I make a left up at the next intersection?" asked JC, his voice low, barely penetrating the silence that filled the car, the soft purr of the sleek, German machine not loud enough to drive away the uncomfortable feeling.
"Right..." Justin said, his eyes closed, his head tilted back. He felt the car slow down and shift under him. "Josh, where the hell are you going?" His eyes flew open and he sat up straight in his seat.
"You told me to make a right," JC said, gripping the steering wheel tightly, anger edging into his voice.
"No, I told you to make a left." Justin sighed, staring out the window. "Find a place to turn around."
"You said 'right'." JC said, the features on his face hardening.
"I meant, 'Right, you should take a left.' I thought you knew what I meant." Justin said, defensively, a hint of anger creeping into his own voice.
"Well, fuck, Justin, how the hell was I supposed to know that's what you meant?" JC spotted a driveway up ahead and signaled to turn into it.
"I just assumed that you would know what I was talking about. Christ, you don't have to get so snappy."
"Whatever." JC turned into the small drive, gravel crunching under the wheels. Throwing the car in reverse, he pulled out quickly, speeding down the road in the correct direction.
Justin reached out and braced himself with a hand on the dashboard. "Watch it, JC."
Silence. Justin sighed again and stared out the window. The trees rushed by, each one a blur of color. Red, yellow, orange, brown... "If it means anything to you, I'm sorry."
JC glanced over at Justin, the features on his face softening as he saw a tear escape from his eye and slide down one smooth cheek. He slowed the car down to a stop and pulled over to the side of the road. He reached out and wiped away the tear with the back of his finger. "Justin," he said, softly, tentatively.
Justin turned to look at JC, his eyes filled with unshed tears. The early afternoon sun shone brightly and reflected off those tears, off those beautiful blue eyes... "Justin," JC said again, his voice breaking as he let out a small sob.
Justin let his tears fall freely, staring back into JC's eyes, the sparkling, blue eyes that reflected the depths of his soul. "Josh, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry... Fuck, I'm such an idiot."
"No, Justin," JC sobbed. "You're not, you're not an idiot. And you don't have anything to be sorry about. I'm the one who's sorry. I shouldn't have said what I said, and if I could, I would take it all back."
More tears came to Justin's eyes. "You mean that?"
"Yes, I would give anything to have things the way they were. Before all this shit happened, before things became so strained between us."
Justin sniffed, wiping tears from his eyes. "So... So when you said you loved me, you didn't mean it?" He fumbled with the clasp of his seatbelt, the belt whirring as it retracted. He opened up the door and ran from the car, not caring where he was going, not even seeing where he was going, a fresh batch of tears welling up to the surface. All that filled his senses was the sound of dry leaves crunching beneath his feet and the ache in his heart from being unloved.
A pair of arms came from behind him, surrounding him, forcing him to stop. Those arms, so familiar, so comforting. The arms that held him those nights when he couldn't sleep. Those arms that gave him strength when he thought he had none left. Those arms that infused him with hope.
"Justin," JC whispered, his breath caressing Justin's ear, his voice thick with emotion. "I love you. God knows, I've loved you forever."
Justin took a deep breath, his body shaking with the strength of his tears. "Then why did you say you wish you could take those words back? Didn't you know, I've waited my whole life to hear those three words from someone who really meant them? Didn't you know, I've been praying to God these past few years, praying that it would be you?"
"I thought you didn't love me back," JC said, resting his forehead against Justin's back, between his shoulder blades. "When I told you that I loved you... You didn't say anything, you just stared at me. And then you left the room without saying anything. I thought..." JC couldn't continue. He let out a sob and hugged Justin even closer to him.
"You thought what?" Justin asked, sniffing.
"I thought you hated me," JC said into Justin's back, his voice muffled by his sweater.
"No..." Justin said, shaking his head to emphasize his point. "No," he said, firmly, turning in JC's arms. He cupped JC's face in his hands, forcing JC to look up into his eyes. "Josh, I love you. I love you," he said, gazing into JC's eyes.
JC broke down, this time, with tears of joy, the joy of knowing that the one you love loves you back. "Justin," he sobbed. "Oh, Justin, I love you, too."
Justin pulled JC towards him, enveloping him in a hug. JC returned the hug, those arms surrounding him again, comforting him, strengthening him... And loving him.
The two men stood there, reassuring each other with and being reassured by their love.
JC pulled away, his tears subsiding. "Justin," he said, softly, his hand cupping Justin's face, his thumb caressing his cheek. Meeting Justin's gaze, he slowly leaned in.
"Josh," Justin breathed, his eyes closing. The soft brush of JC's lips against his own left him breathless. He felt his knees give out beneath him. A strong arm prevented him from falling.
JC sighed deep in his throat. Pulling Justin even closer to him, he deepened the kiss, his tongue reaching out tentatively to taste Justin's lips. He groaned as Justin allowed him entry, his tongue gently delving into and tasting the sweetest heaven he's ever known.
JC slowly pulled away, his lips still tingling from the kiss. He opened his eyes and found himself staring into Justin's. "Oh, wow. I never saw blue like that before," he said, softly.
"What was that?" Justin asked, his fingers caressing the back of JC's neck.
"That song... I never knew what it meant until now." JC said.
Justin smiled. "I love you, Josh."
"I love you, Justin."
Please send feedback to jcduck275@yahoo.com Puh-lease? pouting (I have a cute pout, really! It's irresistable... wink)
And before I get hatemail from BSB fans... I still love 'em! Just can't write slash about 'em... :/