Come Christmas Steve
Chapter 40
From a Distance
Two weeks after the elections, it was approaching Thanksgiving. Snow was on the ground and Whittaker had abandoned running around the property every day. I'd received a letter from Steve and he was excited at the idea of my coming to visit. Steve appealed to have me added to the visitor list and we were both hopeful that as soon as the committee met, that would happen. Even though it was cold, Whittaker and I still wanted to stay in shape. We started getting up really early and going to Access Fitness out on Highway 2. We drove past Colt's house getting there. I wondered how he was doing each time we passed by.
In the locker room, I was treated to a daily view of Whittaker's magnificent, lithe body. His tall frame was well muscled and he had a tight, firm ass. His legs and arms were dusted with light orange body hair and he sported a well-trimmed, bright orange pubic patch. Freckles splattered themselves across his shoulders and cheeks. Naturally, the crowning feature was his large penis and ample ball sac to complement it. The sight of him naked, especially dripping wet from the shower, made my dick twitch and my back door itch. I was in love with Steve, but I couldn't deny my natural lust for Whittaker's flesh.
He'd catch me ogling and smile occasionally. He never said anything, but neither did he make an effort to hide anything from me. Once in a while, he'd get coquettish and wiggle his hips to make his big dick flop around. He always had flaunted the assets that he knew he had. He was a tease by nature. I wasn't the only one in the lockers who allowed themselves an extra glance or an uncomfortably long stare as he strode by.
The time we spent going to and from the gym each morning and the time we spent at meals and working together resulted in sharing things about ourselves that were very personal and often poignant. I loved to hear his ideologies and thoughts on life. He was evolving. He attended church every Sunday with us and we would drive separately from the family so we could go to the gym afterwards. It was fun engaging in thought provoking discussions about the sermon on our drive. Whittaker would seek out and sit with Shawna when she wasn't in the choir.
It made me happy that they still liked each other. I liked her also and I thought she was great for Whittaker. I was glad to see that they were still taking things slow. Occasionally, they held hands, but they never kissed in public. I sort of wished I could have had that kind of slow growing relationship with Steve, but that wasn't how it happened. For us, it was whirlwind. Every love relationship develops in its special and unique way. Whittaker had only met her one time for a date since I'd been home, and he just gave me minimal details when I asked him how things went. He hadn't had time for dating while the election was still on and he was juggling the business and his campaign duties and didn't have me to help since I was in jail in Caspar.
That Cheyenne girl attended church each week also. While I was in jail, she had moved to Kalispell and gotten a job at the hospital kitchen with Pastor Nichols' help. The little boy was less clingy to her and they both dressed a little nicer. I still couldn't figure out who the little guy reminded me of. It seemed odd to me how, in just a few months of being away, things had already changed.
One thing that hadn't changed was Billy and Jaime. They were both as crazy in love as ever and humping like rabbits every Wednesday and I suspected on Saturday's as well. Billy was working hard to finish his online schooling and get to a university where he could start fresh and get back into team sports. He had several schools looking at him. Wherever he went, the plan was that Jaime would follow. The high school offered to let him return now that my legal mess had cleared up and died down, but he told them quite literally, to fuck off.
I started thinking about my future knowing that I couldn't just live at home and help run the business, which was really doing well already. I had to get out there, find my calling in life, get an education and start making a living so that I could support Steve through school when he got out of prison. But I wanted to do none of that or even think about it until after the holidays were over with. I loved the holidays, especially on the ranch. Mom was making preparations already for a big Thanksgiving and two families from Dad's side and one from Mom's side were coming this year. One of them was Nicolas' family and even he and his brother, Daniel, had accepted the invite. I was a little nervous about that being awkward, but Whittaker told me not to worry about it. He was usually right about that sort of thing.
It was my third Sunday home and we were attending church in the Elks Lodge. Since the congregation at Christs Church had fallen off a cliff after Reverend Lewis' arrest, many had found their way to Pastor Nichols' church. Six boys from Reverend Lewis' congregation came forward with allegations of abuse against him. He was a foul, hypocritical scumbag. The boys were of various ages, even two in their early twenties. Colt was the youngest one of his accusers.
The crowds at our church were too large for the small chapel and plans were being made for a new facility. Whittaker and I volunteered for the fundraising committee and we were working on plans for a turkey shoot fundraiser for the Saturday before Thanksgiving.
After church, I was helping to fold the metal chairs in the makeshift chapel when I heard a familiar voice say, "Excuse me." I turned around and let the chair I was about to fold rest back on the floor.
"Hello, Colt," I said. He was standing next to his mother, who was a little behind him holding Sammy's little hand. Sammy was looking for someplace else to go and play. Colt was looking down at his shiny boots.
"I, I, I...," he stammered. I came to say I'm sorry." He fought off tears and folded back into his mother.
"Oh Colt," I said. "You don't have to apologize to me. I don't have anything against you. What you did was really brave. You did the only thing you thought you could in order to protect your little brother. I'm proud of you for that. I'm the one who's sorry. I'm sorry I didn't really listen to you. I'm sorry I didn't let you confide in me so maybe I could have helped you. You're not the bad guy, Colt. Reverend Lewis is the bad guy. Don't cry."
He sniffed and wiped his eyes and then he let go of his mom and wrapped himself around me. I sat down on the chair and we hugged each other. "Let it go, Colt." I said. "Don't let it keep hurting you inside. Just let it go."
After our hug, Mrs. Withers thanked me and as they turned to leave, I called to them, "Hey, we could use some help at the pie throwing booth on Saturday for the Turkey Shoot. What do you say? Would you help us out?"
Colt looked up at his mom, hopeful. "Can I?"
She smiled back and said, "Sure."
He looked at me and asked, to my surprise, "Can Scott come help too?"
"Sure. The more the merrier, right?" I said.
"Cool! Thanks. See you Saturday." I smiled and waved. I went back to folding up chairs and whistling while I did it. I think I was whistling Dixie. Really. I don't know why, I just was. "Oh, I wish I was in Dixie, Hurray! Hurray!" It's such a happy tune.
Whittaker and I agreed to dress up in turkey costumes and put on games for the kids while the men participated in the shooting competitions. They didn't actually shoot live turkeys like in the old days. It was just a target competition to test marksmanship. There would be a prize for the most points accumulated on rifle, pistol, shotgun and muzzle loader events. There would be a bake sale and pumpkin pie eating contest. It sounded like a nice community event and it was fun being involved in something positive.
Whittaker was such an organizer and I was pretty good at talking people into participating. Everything was coming together nicely. We enlisted Billy and Jaime and even got Cheyenne and Shawna involved. That week was crazy busy, running the business and finding time to get everything ready for the Turkey Shoot. We had no time for the gym and I was missing it. Wednesday of that week, Whittaker was acting really weird around me. Finally, I asked him what was going on.
"Nothing," he said smirking.
"Liar. You are an awful liar. What's going on?"
"I told you, nothing. Okay. There's a big surprise tonight on TV. My mom called me about it."
As hard as I tried, I could not get him to tell me what was going on. It was killing me all day to find out. At 5:00, we all gathered around the TV and tuned in to the evening news. "This is it," Whittaker said, dripping with excitement.
The news anchor smiled her artificial grin and said, "In keeping with a long standing tradition, President Barnes was on the White House lawn earlier today." There was a turkey in a small enclosure on the lawn, strutting and gobbling for the cameras. The anchor carried on, "President Barnes officially pardoned the turkey as has been the official tradition since the first Bush administration. President Kennedy actually let the first one go but without a reference to it being a pardon. That was just four days before his assassination." Thanksgiving turkeys have been presented by the National Turkey Federation, the turkey grower's lobby, to all the Presidents since President Truman in 1947. Each year they give the turkey a name and this year, President Barnes dubbed this one, Lucky Ducky, a little play on words with him being a lame duck president."
"That's the big surprise? The President pardoned a turkey?" I asked.
"Hold on. Wait for it," Whittaker said.
"In an unusual departure from the traditional ceremony, President Barnes extended some additional pardons today, only not to other turkeys. Eleven Federal Prisoners are going to be having a happier Thanksgiving this year. Here's what he announced," the anchor said.
I didn't get it still. Everyone was staring at me. "What?" They laughed and pointed at the TV and shushed each other so I could hear.
"I'm going to hand out a few more pardons this year, in my final term. I want to specifically address two of these pardons, which my critics will surely decry because of the nature of the crimes. I have had an exhaustive review made of the facts and circumstances in these two cases, and I have personally reviewed the results. I believe a gross injustice was made in both of these cases," the President began.
"Shut up!" I cried. "Shut up!" I jumped out of my seat. "Is this really happening?"
"Sure is," Whittaker said. "We need to set two more places for Thanksgiving!"
"No way! No way! I can't believe it!!!" I was tingling all over. I was crying and mom was crying and everyone was clapping. I had to grab the remote and back up the dvr so I could hear the rest of the announcement.
The President continued, "The two young men being pardoned were raised in a publicly funded boys home in Montana. While in that environment, designed to protect and nurture them, they were abused and defiled instead. They suffered physical, sexual and emotional abuse at the hands of their caretakers and when they turned eighteen and finally escaped the confines of hell, the crime they were charged with was not disclosing the abuse to authorities. For this, they went to prison on a plea agreement. This was forced upon them, even though they were under the duress of losing their lives if they did. Rather than risk many years in a brutal prison, while still boys themselves, they chose a plea bargain. That was not a choice either of them should have had to make. They were victims, not perpetrators. So along with nine others, whose appeals have been before me for several years and have been recommended by the Attorney General's office, I officially pardon them all fully and order their immediate release from incarceration and their criminal records cleared."
We all exploded with joy. I was jumping up and down and screaming like a teenage girl at a Justin Bieber concert. It was nuts. There were hugs and tears and laughter. Mom shocked me when she came in with a bottle of champagne and Dad uncorked it. They poured glasses for everyone, including Whittaker and myself. They even let Billy and Jaime have a glass. We celebrated. We called Mrs. Whittaker.
"I guess you heard the good news." she said.
"We sure did!" I answered. "I hear you had a lot to do with it. I can't thank you enough. You're the best."
"My part was small. I just got it in front of the right people and I trusted the President to do the right thing. This pardon is unprecedented. The process of getting a Presidential pardon is normally three or four years at least. But it was right and everyone knew it was right."
"I'm so happy. I can't even tell you," I said.
"I'm happy that you're happy."
"So what happens next?" I asked.
"I've volunteered to pick them up once all the paperwork is handled. I have acted as their advocate in this. It's been in the works since they were first convicted, but I didn't want to say anything so as not to create any false hopes."
"When will that be?" I asked.
"Probably Friday. We'll be in Kalispell by Saturday morning."
"Oh my gosh, Saturday morning we'll all be at the Turkey Shoot."
Mrs. Whittaker laughed. "I'll alert the President. Maybe he can pardon that one too." We all laughed with her and I told her, "We don't actually shoot a turkey. It's just a celebration and fundraiser. The local guys all compete in marksmanship competitions for bragging rights and prizes."
"Sounds like fun. Where will we find you then?" she asked.
I turned her over to Mom and they chatted privately for a while and Mom passed on the location of the Elk's Lodge where the big celebration was being held. I overheard snippets of their conversation and I could tell they were discussing my trial and dropped charges. I chose to tune it out. "Let's go to the gym," I suggested to Whittaker.
"I can't believe what a great and powerful Mom you have," I said.
He laughed. "Maybe we need to start calling her OZ."
"OZ?" I asked.
"Yeah, you know, THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ!"
"Oh. Funny," I said.
"I can't believe Steve is really coming here this Saturday," I said.
"I can't wait for him to see you dressed up as a turkey," Whittaker laughed.
"Oh my gosh. I forgot. I have to get out of that," I said.
"No way! If I have to do it, you have to do it. You're the one who volunteered us," Whittaker said.
"Wow. If I'd known he was coming, I wouldn't have."
"Hey, he might as well know right off he's getting stuck with a turkey," Whittaker prodded.
"You're such a comedian," I said.
The workout was good for me and I liked feeling the burn in my muscles. I was excited that soon, Steve would be joining us. I took a deliciously long look at Whittaker's body as we dried off in the locker room. I knew I'd have to be careful not to do that in front of Steve. It wouldn't be good at all to do that. The idea that as soon as Saturday night, my lover could be holding me and caressing me again was enough to get me plumped up. Whittaker noticed and teased me. I didn't mind.
"What about Todd?" Whittaker asked out of the blue.
"What about Todd?" I asked back.
"He will be coming too. Will that be awkward?" Whittaker asked. "He has nowhere to go. Will your parents put him up too? Should we put the second bed back in my shack for him? I assume your parents are going to let Steve stay in your room. I mean, will they?" Whittaker had such a way of thinking through things. I never even thought of any of that.
"I don't know," I admitted, slowly. "That's kind of a problem."
"Kind of. We need to talk about it."
"Whittaker," I began as we pulled out of the parking lot and headed home, "Am I making too much of an assumption about Steve?"
"What do you mean?"
"Things he said in his letters. He said I shouldn't wait for him. He said he wasn't sure I'd be happy with him and that I'd think he was tarnished or something. What if," I stopped myself.
"What if he doesn't love you as much as you love him?" Whittaker asked.
"No. That's not it," I said.
"I'm being honest now, okay. Don't freak out on me," I said.
"Whoa. Okay, I solemnly swear to not freak out. What?"
"What if, I'm not sure it's right. I mean I love him, I know I do. But what if he has doubts because he's sensed my doubts. He said we've only known each other for a short time and it wasn't exactly all roses and harp music," I said.
Whittaker didn't freak out. He didn't even answer. He didn't even look at me. "I think," he finally said, then paused. "I think you're a complicated piece of work."
"Oh god, I'm being stupid, aren't I. I mean, I love him. And he says he loves me, and I'm just afraid, right? Afraid of a commitment probably, right?" I rambled.
"No, Shane. Can I be a little honest?"
"Sure. That's why I asked."
"I think you were in a vulnerable spot when you met Steve and he helped you through it. Then you risked everything, including our lives to save him and you succeeded. He is going to love you for that. But both of those kinds of love, real as they are, and even the hot sex you love having together is not the same kind of love that has kept your parents married for all these years and sustained them through all their trials. I think you both can be good for each other and I think you both can develop that kind of love, but I think you need to be careful not to mistake the two."
I stared in awe at Whittaker. He was so insightful. I marveled. "Who are you and where did you hide the real Whittaker from MSU? The guy who once asked a girl if you could borrow an extra-large condom and then introduce you to her roommate?"
"Did I really do that?"
"You don't remember? At breakfast?"
"Oh yeah. I guess I decided to snap that Whittaker's neck and decided to grow up."
"I guess you did," I agreed. "I guess you did."
"He's dead you know."
"Who Calvin?" I was confused.
"Him too, but no."
"The old Whittaker?" I asked.
"Him too, thank god, but no again. I'm talking about Uncle Arty. The guy who's neck I really did snap. He died of pneumonia, brought on by his being a paraplegic, thanks to me."
"He is? When did he die?" I asked.
"While you were in jail, awaiting trial," Whittaker informed me.
"Why didn't anyone tell me?" I asked.
"You were pretty busy with more important things. It's for the best, I suppose. I tell myself that. It saves the cost of a trial and Steve the pain of testifying against hi, not to mention you and I," Whittaker said.
"Yeah," I agreed.
Then he added, "I never thought it would bother me. He deserved to die. Still, knowing I..." he stopped himself.
"Wow. I'm sorry you're dealing with that. You did what you did to save good lives. Arty's was an evil life. He chose evil and he didn't give a damn about anyone her hurt. All he cared about was himself. Look what he did to Steve, his own son. Arty's the reason Calvin is gone. He'd abused and emotionally scarred little kids and even killed young boys."
"I know all of that," Whittaker said.
"I've read that even for soldiers in battle and cops who have to kill people, it affects them. Taking life affects good people even if it is required of them for the greater good. If you weren't such a good, caring person, it wouldn't affect you."
Whittaker started to shed tears. "Thanks," he said. "You always seem to say the right things to me. I love you, man."
"I love you too, Whittaker." We arrived home and parted without any more words. He needed some space.
Before knowing it, Saturday arrived. We rushed around and spent all morning setting up the booths around the sides of the multi-purpose room for the different carnival games. The ladies were setting up for the fried chicken lunch that was available for only ten dollars a plate. Tables with checkered paper tablecloths were set up in the middle of the room.
The shooting competitions were already arranged in the farmer's field that bordered the Elks Lodge. No kids were allowed on that side of the fence. It was the perfect location for the Turkey Shoot. Whittaker and I were both dressed in our turkey costumes, except for the ridiculous feet and stupid looking hats that only our faces peeked out of. We weren't putting those on until the very last minute. As ridiculous as I looked, Whittaker looked twice as silly. There just was no way to get a costume to properly fit his tall frame and brown leggings crept up to the middle of his calves. He kept sneaking around behind the church ladies and then blurting out, "gobble, gobble, gobble" making them jump. He laughed and trotted off as they scolded him.
At ten o'clock, people started arriving and it was a wonderful turnout. Pastor Nichols was walking around greeting people and offering tickets for a 50/50 raffle to be drawn in the afternoon. Around 11:30, while the lunch crowd was getting in line for the big fried chicken feed, someone walked up behind me and said, "Guess who?"
"I guess it's a big turkey who is hungry for some chicken?" I said, thinking it was Whittaker being goofy and wanting to slip away for lunch.
"Nope," he said letting his hands off my eyes. I spun around and shouted, "Steve!" I stretched my wings and hugged the stuffing out of him. He hugged me tight for a long time.
When we released, he said, "I can't believe I'm standing here in front of you. Thank you, Shane, for all you've done for me and for Todd."
"Don't thank me for that. Whittaker's mom is responsible for that. The president wouldn't take my calls so she took over," I responded. He smiled.
"I have thanked her, but it was you who got everything started. You set the whole process in motion that set Todd and me free from the shackles of our past. I'll never forget it."
"Whatever I did, I did because I love you," I professed.
"I love you too, Shane. I really do," he said. I was bursting with joy. Todd was standing back by Mrs. Whittaker grinning widely. I'd forgotten how ridiculously handsome he was. We made eye contact and he stepped forward and thrust out his hand.
"Me too, man. Thanks for all you did," he said as we shook hands. I shrugged demurely. I really felt like I was getting way too much credit.
"So," Whittaker said to Todd, "how about you come help me out with the games and we let these two turkeys go get some lunch and do some catching up?"
"Glad to," Todd responded. "Just don't put me in any headlocks, okay?" He jumped at the chance to avoid the awkwardness of being the odd man in the circle.
I pulled off my rubber feet and removed my grey headgear with the dangling red wattle under the chin. It felt good to get it off. Steve and I went into the kitchen and got special treatment from my mom. We really wanted her fried chicken over any of the other ladies' and she was happy to oblige. First, however, she hugged Steve harder and longer than even I'd done. She was grinning and patting his cheeks, almost giddy with joy over his release. He'd wormed his way into Mom's heart from the first day of Christmas break when he came home with me.
We sat at a table by ourselves to eat, which we knew wouldn't last long because the line waiting for food was growing steadily. I watched Steve bite into the juicy meat encased in Mom's lightly battered crust and savor it deliberately. I snickered as I remembered coming home from jail to Mom's good cooking.
"What?" he mumbled with his mouthful.
"You're making love to that drumstick," I answered.
"You know how long I've dreamed about getting some of your Mom's cooking again?" he said.
"I understand. The bland glop in jail is nothing to write home about," I agreed.
"You know it."
After we had eaten half our meal, I started a conversation. "You're planning on staying at the ranch, I hope," I said.
"If you and your family will have me. I don't really have anywhere else to go," he answered. Then he stopped eating and said a bit cautiously, "and neither does Todd."
I smiled. "You know that both of you are welcome. We've talked about it and Mom's got everything all planned out. You can both stay as long as you need to. There's some after harvest work to be done and with Dad's business taking off, there's more work than we can all do. So if you want a job, you've got one."
"I'll do anything, of course. And so will Todd. We are really grateful. But we don't need or want any pay. Room and board is more than enough until we can figure something else out," Steve said.
"Okay. Well, good luck with that one. You can take that up with Dad."
We both laughed knowing it would never happen. He'd never let them work without paying them something.
"I never dreamed this could be possible. I thought I would have to wait three long years to be reunited. I am so happy, Steve. I just can't believe what a miracle this all is."
"It is a miracle. Want to hear another miracle?" he asked.
"Sure. Can it get any better?" I said.
"I want to go to church with you. I did some studying in Yankton and met with the prison pastor. He was a great man and really helped me get a different view of life and develop some faith."
"Well knock me over with a turkey feather," I said. "Really?"
"Really."
I got up, walked over to him and hugged him again. "Welcome to the land of hope and promise," I told him. "That makes me love you all the more, if that were even possible." He smiled. It pleased him that I was pleased, I could see it in his eyes.
I felt someone's eyes on me and I looked up to see Colt staring at us. I wondered what he was thinking. When he saw I'd caught him staring, he turned away.
"So," I started. Then I hesitated. Finally, I asked the big question, "How are you feeling about us?"
"As a couple?" he clarified.
"Yeah. As a couple."
"Good. Why? How are you feeling about us?" Steve turned it back onto me.
"I love you with my whole heart. I kind of want to make sure you feel the same about me, though. I wasn't real sure how to interpret some of the things you wrote in your letter to me," I told him.
"Things like what exactly?" Steve asked.
"I don't know exactly how you said it, but basically that we should take it slow and how we're different people with different backgrounds and if I found someone else you would be okay with it."
Steve looked at me for few minutes without speaking. The silence hung heavy over the table as all of the outside commotion faded from my consciousness. It was suddenly just me and Steve in the room and I was waiting for the most important thing I was ever going to hear someone say to me. Time stood still. "I didn't write any of that because I have doubts about my love for you. I love all of what I know about you. I absolutely know that you love me wholeheartedly, because you have proven that over and over by your actions. Knowing I am really loved by you is a big part of why I can love you back. I spent my whole childhood denying the need to be loved. I spent my whole childhood with a padlock on my heart so that no one could sneak in and break it. Everyone who had ever shown me any sign of love, ended up having other motives. They only wanted something back from me in exchange. Love, true love, cannot be bought. True love can only be given - no strings attached."
"I don't pretend to understand that," I said. "I was loved by my family. I was cared for and even coddled. I was teased and bullied but never abused. I kept my heart locked up for different reasons. I never let others in because it always backfired when I tried. I was worried that as soon as they got to know me, they'd realize what a loser I was. It was just so much better to be as invisible as possible. But you showed me I was worth loving. You showed me I really was loved by my family and had been loved all along."
"So, I guess that's my point in writing what I wrote in my letter," Steve explained. "We both love each other. I love you for loving me. You love me for loving you. Before we can be sure that we will be happy loving each other for a lifetime, we have to make sure we can love ourselves for ourselves. I think we need time for that. We're pretty young still. Agree or disagree?"
I thought it over. "Agree. I see what you're saying."
"We both have some baggage, Shane. We can help each other unload it, but we need to be sure the baggage is gone before we make any long term commitments. The last thing I want is to hurt you or have you hurt me."
That was not what I wanted to hear, but it was true. I thought about how irritated I was with him back in the dorms because he wouldn't share his past with me. I realized he was just as irritated with me because I was so demanding of what he so carefully kept locked away. "Okay. How do we do this then?"
"I think we just need to take some time. Let it develop naturally. If it's right for both of us, it will happen. If it's not right, it's better for both of us that it doesn't happen. I want it to happen. Don't get me wrong. I just need the time and incubation period to be sure it's safe to unlock my heart and throw away the padlock."
"Okay. But how do we do that? How do make sure?"
"I'll find a job here in Kalispell. I'll get a place to live and we can date. Assuming that goes well, we can move in together next summer maybe. If that goes well, we can make it official. A Christmastime wedding would be awesome. What do you think of that?"
"I like it. What about sex?"
"What about it?" he asked back.
"Can we have it?"
"Why wouldn't we?" he asked.
"I don't know. I wasn't sure how that played into what you were saying. I thought maybe you were saying that we should date platonically."
"No. I think you and I have really different ideas about the sex thing. Remember when I offered up my ass to your brother, Billy?"
"Yeah. I remember it well. It bothered me a lot."
"I know it did. I don't have the emotional attachment to sex that you have. So to me, it was just a service to be performed to prevent Billy from forcing something on his girlfriend. You grew up in a household that values sexual expression within bounds of a commitment like marriage. I grew up in a world where it was traded for favors or sometimes given up as a means of survival. I could either bend over and get fucked or stand up and get fucked up. I learned to choose the fucking. It usually hurt less. I occasionally did it just for fun, but never, ever as an expression of love. Until, that is, I made love to you for that first time in the ranch cabin. That was the first time where raw emotion mixed into it. I wasn't expecting that. It changed me. I crave that kind of lovemaking now, but sex is still just a physical act, like scratching a mosquito bite. So not only do I think it's okay for us to engage in sex during this trial period, I think it's essential that we make love to each other."
"Wow. I need to process all that. I guess that's why you were so nonchalant over it when I admitted letting Whittaker fuck me when we switched dorm rooms back at MSU."
"Pretty much. I could separate the two things. Sex was sex, but if you and Whittaker had made love, that would have bothered me," Steve said.
"So have you and Todd been doing it together in prison?" I asked. I regretted going there as quickly as the words escaped my lips.
Steve swallowed his last bite of apple pie and wiped the crumbs from his lips before answering. He looked me squarely and purposefully in the eye. "We never made love in prison. We did scratch a few mosquito bites." He stared deep into my eyes for a clue to my reaction. If he was expecting shock or horror, he was disappointed. I'd already suspected it. I was actually pleased with how he answered it.
"We spray for mosquitos out on the ranch. The ones that survive, we swat," I said. He burst out laughing. He fell onto the table and held his stomach. That made me laugh and we attracted attention.
"C'mon, I said. This turkey needs to get back to work so Whittaker can take a lunch break."
Walking back to the carnival games, I told Steve, "So Mom and Dad were both at my trial as you know. They heard some crazy stuff about me that I wish they hadn't. They know all about how sexually active I've been since meeting you and like you said, my household has certain ideas about having sex before making a commitment."
"Right," he said.
"So Mom has a sleeping arrangement all figured out while you and Todd are staying with us. We were counting on Todd staying. She's got you bunking with Billy in his room and Todd staying in Whittaker's cabin room. I'm still by myself in my room. When all the family comes for the holidays, all us boys sleep in the barn or the attic."
"See there. That's exactly what I mean. I love your mom. She's just awesome," Steve told me.
"She's totally awesome and very predictable." Then I added, "And by the way, just in case Billy gets any mosquito bites on his ass while you're sharing his room, he can scratch them all by himself." Steve snickered and punched me playfully in the turkey wing.
We relieved Whittaker on the basketball toss game and Colt and his friend, Scott, went with Whittaker to get something to eat. Colt was still awkward around me and I understood that. I was just glad he'd come and especially glad to see he and Scott were back doing things together. I wanted to ask about his father, but knew better. It was just personal curiosity and not really any of my business.
Steve and I were handling the basketball game when a female voice called out, "Steve?!?!"
Steve turned and responded, just as surprised as she was, "Cheyenne?"
In unison, they both said, "What are you doing here?"
Cheyenne added, "I thought you were in prison."
"I got pardoned. I'm a free man now, so I'm here staying at Shane's for a little while I get back on my feet. What brings you here?"
"I'm living here. I got a job at the hospital. Pastor Nichols helped me get on in the kitchen," she answered.
"That's great," Steve answered. "I never knew what happened to you. You just disappeared and no one could tell me why or where you went. I hope it wasn't because you'd sneak me extra pieces of pizza and dessert."
She smiled. "No, it wasn't that. Something just happened and Simba made me leave."
"Oh. Him. The two faced asshole."
"Yeah. You know how it was. I'm so excited to see you and know you're out of prison. That's a miracle!" she said.
"It sure is. I didn't use to believe in miracles until I met this guy." Steve wrapped his arm around me and gave me a hug.
"Hi Shane," Cheyenne said, recognizing for the first time that I was even there.
"Hi," I answered back. I couldn't get over how much nicer she looked from the time I first met her outside the church. Her whole demeanor was brighter and she wore decent, clean clothes.
"You guys know each other?" Steve asked.
"We met at church," I explained.
"Oh, cool. Is that the church we'll be attending together?" Steve asked me.
"Yeah. It is," I answered.
Then I turned to the small boy at Cheyenne's side. "You want to shoot for the basket?" He looked down and shook his head sadly, side to side.
Cheyenne explained, "we used up all our tickets."
"Well, you don't need a ticket here. A friend of Steve's is a friend of mine. C'mon, stand up here on the table and take some shots."
The boy looked up at his mommy hopefully and she nodded approval. He beamed. I lifted him up onto the closest table to the hoop where we let the small kids shoot from and handed him a basketball. He heaved it and missed. I snagged the rebound and let him try again. On the third time, the little guy banked it in. He clapped and cheered as I handed him a Tootsie Roll. Steve gave him a high five.
"We'll have to catch up some time," Cheyenne said as she took her cheerful little boy by the hand and led him away.
"Crazy coincidence," Steve said. "She used to work in the kitchen at the boys home."
"I know. She told me that when I met her. She snagged me at church one day and wanted to know all about you."
"She did? Huh," Steve said. More customers came up to our booth and we stayed busy until we shut it down.
Colt's mom came to pick Colt and Scott up and she pulled me aside. "Thank you for inviting Colt to be involved in this. I had a chance to talk to Pastor Nichols earlier and I am interested in joining his congregation. We need some religion in our lives and with the boys' father out of the house, they need some solid male role models. I just wanted to make sure you'd be okay if we attended. I don't want to make it awkward for you by having Colt there."
"I don't mind at all. I really have no bad feelings for Colt. I always knew in my heart that he was not the one behind it. I knew he wasn't malicious. Thanks for asking, though."
"I'm glad. Thank you so much. You are really a wonderful person, Shane. I hope everything works out for you in the future."
"You're kind. Thanks. So, forgive me for prying, but are you divorcing?"
"Not yet. I don't know if it will end up like that or not. I just needed space to sort things out so Brahma moved out to live with his mother. You can imagine, it was a pretty big shock finding out about my husband's secret life with the Reverend. I don't know if I can ever trust him again, but I didn't want to do anything rash. Divorce is tough on kids. He lost his job and he's pretty depressed but I have to think about me and the boys first and foremost," she confided in me. She added parenthetically, "Colt's struggling."
Things wrapped up around two o'clock and we started taking the booths down. I regretted not having brought a change of clothes from home. Whittaker had been sensible enough to do that and changed out of his costume. I was stuck in mine. We were unbolting the plywood game booths so we could store and save them for another event, when Whittaker came over and took the wrench from me. "You're going to ruin that costume, dude. We can handle this. You and Steve go and catch up on things. I'm sure you're anxious to. I bet Steve would love a banana milkshake from the diner." Whittaker grinned and winked at me. I smiled back. He was so thoughtful.
"Okay. But how will you get home if we take the truck?"
"I'll catch a ride, or I can get a ride with Shawna if I need to." Whittaker made a shooing motion at us.
I grabbed my rubber feet and turkey hood. "Crap," I moaned, "I don't have a change of clothes."
"It's okay," Steve said, "I don't mind hanging out with a turkey. A little turkey stuffing might go really good with that banana milkshake."
Whittaker cracked up. I had to laugh along. "Shoo," Whittaker said. "Go spend some time together. You need to. Call if you're going to be home for dinner so I can let your mom know."
We thanked him and practically skipped out of the room. I was wishing Steve could drive. I felt ridiculous behind the wheel dressed as a turkey. We talked about Steve's experiences in prison at Yankton. It was really not a bad place at all. In many ways, it was one of the nicer places he'd lived in. Not counting the time with me in the dorm. But even then, Steve was on edge and under probation. Steve said it had been so completely refreshing to be in a place where he was safe, fed, able to pursue some studies and not have the sex ring hanging over his head. He said it was even more unbelievable to him to realize that he was now completely free and able to be with me again. It was as if he'd been reborn.
"That's the diner with the good milkshakes. Across the street is a motel that rents rooms by the hour. Billy and Jaime have a standing weekly appointment there."
Steve laughed. "I'm not that hungry, but I wouldn't be opposed to a little shake action at the motel, if you want to."
"Want to? Want to? Have you ever known me to not want to?" I asked.
"Nope. I don't believe I have," he answered, smiling. I careened left into the motel lot and strutted in to rent a room for an hour. Steve followed me in.
The clerk looked me up and down twice. "Kinky," he said. Steve turned away and shook with laughter. I turned red.
"I need two forms of ID. It's twenty bucks for one hour and thirty for two hours."
I fished thirty dollars from my wallet and gave him my driver's license and MSU ID card.
"Oh my god, it's you!" the guy exclaimed. He handed me the money back and I sighed.
"Here it comes," I thought. I expected to hear, "We don't allow your kind in here," or something like that.
Instead he said, "This one's on the house. Ever since it got out that the sheriff and the preacher guy were doing it here, our hourly rentals have quadrupled."
"Really? Wow. Who would have thought. I guess it's true that there's no such thing as bad publicity." I stuffed the money back in my wallet and waddled out. I'd put my rubber feet back on so I wouldn't have to walk barefoot in the parking lot and in the office.
"Happy hunting," the guy called out to us as we left the office with the key to room 128. I stopped and bought two bottled waters from the vending machine. Steve went and found the ice machine and we iced our waters for later. When we were settled in and the covers on the bed were pulled down and washcloths were laid out on the night stand along with the complimentary bottle of body lotion, Steve took my cheeks in his hands and pressed his lips to mine. I melted into his hot, sensuous lips.
"Let's get naked, lover," I whispered against his lips.
"Not yet," he responded. "I want to suck on your giblets first. When will I ever get a chance to suck off a turkey again?"
"Stop," I said, laughing at him.
"No, I'm serious. I'm turned on by the idea of sucking your dick while you're dressed like this."
"You're a freak," I said.
"Probably. How do I get to the good parts?" he asked.
I pulled open the Velcro fly under my turkey belly and Steve reached in and fished out my erection. It was no easy task and I cried out as my sensitive head scraped over the Velcro snags.
"Sorry," Steve apologized. Then he sat me on the edge of the bed and started fondling my bulging erection. He was turning it side to side and staring hungrily at it.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
"Just remembering. I want to remember every little detail of this. I want the image of your beautiful manhood preserved in my memory."
I smiled. "Are you anxious for this?" He asked, licking slowly up my shaft and around my glans.
"Gobble, gobble, gobble," I answered, gripping his head with my wings.
He chuckled and said. "I love you. You make me laugh like no one else can." He began sucking my dick, slowly sliding up and down along my juicy drumstick. He swirled his tongue over the glans and then plunged down the length of the shaft. He could only go two thirds of the way down it because of the turkey suit, but he had me moaning and slowly pressing myself into his mouth in rhythm. My eyes were now shut while he sucked my turkey bone. I ran my fingers over his buzzed, prison haircut and my floppy brown wings draped over his face. I shuddered and he froze.
"Are you cumming already?" he asked.
"No," I answered. "Just enjoying it. It feels so good."
"Mmmm, nice," he answered and returned to consuming me. After another four or five minutes of his rhythmic bobbing, he pulled off and climbed up to kiss me. We swapped tongues and then battled for supremacy as we embroiled ourselves into a frenzied stew of raw sexual lust. Juices dripped from the corners of our mouths and dripped down our chin. I pulled his t-shirt off his upper torso and was grasping at his broiling flesh by the fistful.
He found my zipper and pulled it down across my backbone. Then he plucked the turkey suit off of me and slid quickly downward to remove my rubber feet. Lastly, he peeled my boxers away and left me naked, quivering with anticipation. My anus was twitching with desire. "Fuck me," I begged.
"Not yet," Steve answered. "Suck me first."
He climbed up onto the bed and I moved around to peel his jeans from his hips and quickly stripped away his underwear. His dick was bulging and begging for my hungry mouth. I crawled between his thighs and knelt into place. I grasped his hot, thick piece of meat and swallowed it clear to the base. I held it there and savored the taste, the sensation, and the closeness I felt to my lover, my Christmas Steve. It was as special as our first time and maybe even sweeter. I wasn't so nervous and unsure of myself. I was more an equal participant and I felt like he appreciated that. I made sweet love to his delicious penis. I knew I would soon have this sweet wishbone buried deep within me like I'd been craving for so very long. I nearly cried when I realized I was actually doing what I'd expected to have to wait three long years to experience again. A warm rush of peaceful joy washed over me, adding to the beauty of the experience.
I used my tongue to drag slowly along his terse shaft, pressing my lips tightly around the rim of his tender head before gliding back down over the pulsating pole. I don't know how long I pleasured my lover like that, relentlessly driving him ever closer to the edge. Time had no meaning. The world outside that room, that bed, did not exist for us. I rubbed my hands over his chest and played with his protruding nipples as I sucked on him. I occasionally stopped while I had him fully engulfed and breathed in his lightly musky odor, my nose buried in his soft, brown pubes.
My dick was aching and my anus was itching by the time he lifted his head and watched me orally caress his rigid shaft two more times. He lifted my chin and pulled me free. His erection was so firm, it scarcely moved as I released it. "It's time," he said.
I knew what he meant and smiled up at him. I crawled over his right thigh and rolled onto my back next to him. He rose and slid between my legs. He pulled my knees up and spread them. He reached for the bottle of lotion and squeezed a copious amount into his palm. He coated his purple shaft and then greased up my chute. I was shaking with excitement. I thought my penis might just explode from the anticipation of it all, I was boned so hard.
Steve added a squirt of lotion to my dick and also to his abdomen. Then he pressed his purple tip to my entryway and pushed himself in. "Ahhhh," I called out. "Yes, yes, yes."
"Mmmmm," he moaned. "Feels so good." Slowly, he pushed himself into me until he was buried as deeply as he could go. He held it there and stared lovingly into my eyes. His eyes were moist and glittering in the faint light of the hotel lamp at our bedside. He lowered himself down onto his forearms where he supported most of his weight, but allowed his body to press mildly into mine. He dropped his head until our lips met and we kissed. My mind numbed, my body tingled and then it began.
"Oh, yes," I murmured against his soft lips as he dragged his wishbone back out, across my magic spot and then slowly returned it deep into me. Each time he withdrew, I murmured over and over, "Oh, yes."
"I love you, Shane," he whispered into my ear. His warm breath seeped into me and filled my heart with the knowledge that it was true. I started to cry for joy and gratitude. Of all the miracles I had seen, this was the greatest one of all. He loved me.
He made eye contact and set his jaw. His brow furrowed in that unique way. That unique look that was his and his alone. That look tipped me off to what he was about to do. I knew it was coming. I knew he was at the limit of his stamina. It was time for Christmas Steve to cum and when he did, he went big. Like a bull rider in a rodeo, he rode me, grunting and groaning. He pounded and slammed me as I feverishly bucked and bounced. Bull and rider pounding it out in a furious dance of wills. The friction of his abs against my bulging rod as he took his eight second ride, drove me over the edge. "CUM Shaney, CUM!" I yelled out as my white hot, boiling gravy basted our sweating flesh.
"Yessss!" Steve cried out as he shoved himself as deeply into me as possible. With gritted teeth, he groaned in bull-like fury, draining his balls of his cum. He pulled halfway out nice and slow, and then urgently slammed himself deeply back in for a second eruption and then a third and a fourth. At length, he collapsed onto me and heaved to fill his oxygen starved lungs. I was blissfully floating about the room somewhere, oblivious to my own existence, just lost in the buzz of an amazing orgasm.
It was the first time we'd done it raw. Steve informed me that he and Todd had tested negative when they had their full physicals at Yankton. I knew I was clean as well. I was deliriously happy. Steve was smiling broadly as he slipped slowly free of my grasp on him. He leaned up and looked lovingly into my eyes. "How was it?" I asked.
"Best turkey I ever stuffed," he quipped.
"Gobble, gobble, gobble," I said.
He smiled and scraped two fingers across my abs, collecting a sampling of my slippery cum. He placed them in his mouth and tasted my juices. "Mmmm," he said. "Finger licking good!" That made us both start giggling. We hugged and pressed ourselves together, kissing and nibbling on each other for another ten minutes before getting up to shower.
I loved sharing the warm shower with him, soaping and caressing his tight body. After rinsing, we just wrapped ourselves into a tight bundle and held each other as the warm water flowed over us. Both of us were just content to hold each other forever. Sadly, though, our hour was up.
We dried off, left a five dollar tip on the pillow for the maid, which was Steve's thoughtful idea, and dressed. Steve helped me back into my turkey suit and I pulled on my rubber feet. Then we made our way home. It was dusk as we arrived and ordered to get cleaned up for dinner. Mom had a nice Sunday spread prepared. I was still full from lunch, but I wasn't about to turn down Mom's cooking. Steve had an insatiable appetite and was excited for the meatloaf and brown gravy that Mom was putting on the table.
Everyone was there, Whittaker, Whittaker's mom, Todd, Billy, and even Jaime. Dad, of course, and to my surprise, Reverend Nichols and Shawna. The food was good and Steve devoured his meatloaf and a mountain of mashed potatoes. Conversation centered around the successful fundraiser we'd put on and how well we had done. Reverend Nichols was very pleased and when he offered grace before the meal, he thanked the Lord for the many miracles we had all received. Steve and I exchanged joyful glances as we ate. I let my leg slide over and press against his. He reached under the table and gave my leg a small squeeze.
I caught Whittaker stealing glances at us throughout dinner. We talked some about the business and Whittaker became very animated as he described how far we'd exceeded our goals. I was happy to see him so happy in the success. His mom praised him and he glowed as she did. Shawna looked at him proudly also and asked many questions.
Afterwards, we said our goodbyes and sorted out the sleeping arrangements. Todd thanked my parents over and over again for letting him stay with us until he could get on his feet. He was also extremely appreciative of the opportunity to work on the ranch. Steve moved into Billy's room and Todd moved in with Whittaker. When we were all back in the family room sipping on coffee, the conversation turned to church and God. Whittaker and Steve both talked about how they had come to accept and believe that there was in fact a God. They had many questions about God and the workings of faith still, but they had seen enough and felt enough stirring within them, to begin to believe.
"I have questions about a lot of things as well," I said. "But most of the questions, I expect are just too hard for me to comprehend in this life. I think of it as not having the proper perspective to understand everything. Once you climb a mountain and can see things from that viewpoint, you see things that you would ne ver have understood otherwise from the view in the valley."
"I suppose that's right," Whittaker agreed. Steve nodded.
"It's like that Bette Midler song Mom loves so much," I added. "Part of the lyrics go, 'From a distance there is harmony. And it echoes through the land. It's the voice of hope; it's the voice of peace; it's the voice of every man'."
"That's one of the songs in that guitar lesson book," Steve said. He pulled out the guitar we'd given him and I'd saved from the dorm room and he started strumming at it. We gathered around and sung the song together as he strummed the basic chords to it.
####***####
I have lost contact with my long time friend and editor, Paul Stevens. I am concerned about him. I'm hopeful that he is just having computer problems and not health issues. If anyone knows anything about his status, please let me know. He has had a tremendous impact on improving this story and is a very Prolific Author on Nifty as well. I pray he is doing okay.
Another reader, IJK in California, has graciously assisted me with the editing since Paul's disappearance. I thank him for his kind assistance.
Shane's world is getting sorted out. People are starting to find their way, but the holidays are yet to come, especially Christmas. A story that begins at Christmas, should end at Christmas. Don't you think? More to come and a twist or two left in Santa's bag.
Hans
h.schreiber@hushmail.com