Chapter 5
I was in my room getting ready for graduation. Y'know, putting on all the accoutrement, clean shaven with a splash of my favorite cologne. It was one of the biggest days in my young life. It meant that one journey was ending and a new one was beginning. I know. . . Clich?! But true.
I was looking forward to my next new journey in life. I've always planned on going to college and I'm chomping at the bit to get started. I also have an awesome cousin who I was moving in with. He got us a condo - three bedrooms - for a great deal. We will be furnishing it this summer. AND? I also have the best boyfriend in the world! Yeah, our relationship hasn't been the easiest with my being in high school and him two hours away at college, but we saw each other whenever we could. I made sure to go to Nac' at least once a month and we talked on the phone almost incessantly. I loved Marcus very much - he is so sweet to me. Sometimes I don't know how I got him - I mean he is the most romantic man ever! I'll bypass the hundred-page dossier my mind keeps on him.
I went to Florida with them on spring break. It was so much fun, especially getting to know Carl's and Marcus' friends better. We all had a wonderful time laughing, hanging at the beach, going shopping and, dancing. On our last night we all decided to sit on the beach, have a picnic, and watch the sunset. It was so beautiful. At one point, Marcus took my hand and we started to walk along the beach. I loved feeling his hand in mine as we walked to the water's edge. He turned me to him and had a weird look on his face. He took a deep breath and said, "Davis, I want to talk to you about something that will change our relationship." I got a nervous look on my face. "It's not bad, I promise! I just don't know how to tell you this. I never thought it would be this hard." He stopped and it was quiet, the water washing over our feet. I saw tears in Marcus' eyes. "Davis, I. . . I. . I love you! I love you, Davis! I love you more than anything!"
He took a breath. "I know some people might say we are moving too quickly since we have only dated for a month-and-a-half. But my heart is telling me I love you and I'm following my heart," he said.
By this point I was crying too. "Marcus, I love you too so much! I knew you were the perfect guy for me that first weekend we met, especially when you came to my rescue." I kissed him with all the passion in the world. We heard cheering from our group and looked at them. Then, we both burst out laughing. We walked back to our group. I sat between Marcus' legs and leaned against him, his arms resting on my shoulders.
"It's about time you two told each other your true feelings. Of course, I knew y'all were going to fall in love," Carl said with a snickering laugh.
"I do thank you, Carl. I'm glad you meddled in my love life and played matchmaker for me and Marcus".
He leaned over and kissed my cheek. "You're welcome, buddy!"
That night was incredible. Since that night, I did have the talk with Marcus about sex. I know I want to give myself to Marcus, but I just wasn't ready for that yet.
I'm also nervous about tonight, because after being graduated I'm coming out to my parents. I don't know how it's going to go. I have never really heard my parents say anything against gays before, but I was hardly home with clubs, my job, school, and Marcus. I didn't have much free time.
Graduation was the usual nothing special, boring speeches. The only good part was receiving my diploma. It's funny - my whole life I wondered what it would feel like to get my diploma. I thought I would feel differently, accomplished. But in all honesty, I didn't feel any different. I mean, yes, I was happy I finally was graduated from high school, but I didn't feel different. There was no surge of pride, no hallelujah moment. I took pictures with friends, saying our good-byes. I was sad to be saying goodbye to some of these people, not knowing if I was going to see them again. I was a little sad that my brother and Mario couldn't be here today. They were on the way back from a track meet and wouldn't return until tonight.
I got home and hooked up my moving trailer, since I was either leaving tomorrow or tonight, depending on my parents' reaction. We all went inside and changed our clothes. I packed anything else that I needed and placing the bags inside my bedroom door.
"Baby, whatever happens, you know you have me and Carl. We love you and think you are incredibly brave for doing what you are doing," Marcus said while giving me a kiss. I took a deep breath and walked out to the living room.
My parents were sitting in their chairs reading. Marcus and Carl sat on the couch. I stood up front waiting for my parents to notice me. My dad looked over his paper. "Is something wrong son?" he asked.
"Mom, dad, I have always tried to be a great son to the both of you. I made good grades, excelled in clubs, made the national honor society, and even became the class president." I had to stop to collect my thoughts for a second.
I started to cry a little. "Mom, Dad, I'm gay." I couldn't believe I said it that way. I wanted to say more but nothing came out but those words. I looked up at my parents and they both had a look of shock on their faces. Then my dad's face turned angrier. I knew he would take this the hardest.
"What the hell did you just say to me, boy?" my dad said in the harshest of tones.
"I'm gay, Dad. I'm sorry if you can't accept it, but I can't hide who I am anymore."
"So, you're telling me that my first-born son is a good-for-nothing fag?" My dad's words cut right through me like a knife through butter. I saw Marcus tense up. I moved my finger from side to side telling him no.
"Carl, how can you not be disgusted by this?" my dad said, pointing at me, every word feeling like a knife through the heart. Carl got up and walked over to me, put his arm around me.
"Because he is family and I will love him no matter what and I already knew. He came out to me months ago". I'm so glad he was here.
"What about you? Did you know about this waste of space?" my father said his words dripping with venom and malevolent hatred for me.
Marcus got up, glaring at my father. He came over to me, took my hand giving me a little wink. "Yes sir, I did know. In fact, I have been dating your son for months and I love him very much," Marcus said, which brought a big smile to my face. I told Marcus to go and grab our stuff and meet us outside. He did as I asked but I could tell he didn't want to leave.
"So, Dad. . . what's it going to be? Are you going to hate me for the rest of your life because I love a man?" I asked. I could tell he wasn't going to say anything. I noticed during this whole argument that my mother didn't say a thing. After a pregnant few seconds I added, "Well, I guess I have my answer." I walked out the door with Carl right behind me.
Marcus came over to me and wrapped me in a big hug. "Are you okay baby?" Just hearing his voice calmed me instantly.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's just get out of here. Will you drive my truck? I don't think I can concentrate right now." The venom from my father had stung deeply and numbed my thoughts with pain. I handed Marcus my keys. He took them and we went.
I was trying to lift myself up, knowing I was starting my new life as a college student. I was out to my parents. Even though it didn't go over well, I'm still glad that I told them because I don't have this dark secret over my head anymore. The whole way there, my mind was replaying everything in my head. I couldn't believe my father reacted like that. But what upset me the most was my mom's silence. She didn't say anything; not a word.
We unloaded my truck, but I didn't have the energy to do the trailer so we just sat in the living room and watched a movie. My mind was spinning from the day's events.
I don't remember falling asleep, but I woke up snuggled up against him. He kissed the back of my neck. "Good morning, baby. Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah. I like sleeping in your strong arms," I said as he licked my ear and thought, 'I could sleep in his arms whenever I want.' God I loved this man. He is so sweet to me.
"Good morning love birds! And how are we this morning?" Carl said thick with sarcasm as he entered the living room, quite chipper, wearing just his basketball shorts.
Marcus decided to have a little fun. "Hey Carl! Are you trying to steal my boyfriend?" I laughed, but I did have to admit my cousin had a good body and a nice package. Marcus' is way better. (I am a little biased).
"Now, why would I want that," I said pointing toward Carl, "when I have the sexiest man in the world?" turning my head and giving him a kiss.
"I'm hurt, Davis. I know we're cousins and all, but, damn, it wouldn't kill you to give me a compliment," he said with a mock pout on his face.
"Okay, you have a nice body." Then a wicked thought came to mind. "Maybe we can have a threesome one of these days," I said with a mischievous smile spread across my face.
Marcus smacked me on the ass and whispered in my ear, "I will be all you can handle lover boy." I blushed instantly as he thrust his pelvis into me.
"What's wrong, cuz? Trouble in paradise?" Carl asked in a mocking tone.
"Bite me, Carl!" I said glaring at him.
"Oh, my! I didn't know you were kinky, Davis." At that moment Marcus decided to nibble on my ear, which Marcus knew was a turn on for me.
"Well, I'm going to start the coffee. Have fun you two," I heard Carl say as he walked away.
Marcus knew how to push my buttons. He moved down to my neck while biting me gently. God, did it feel good having him do this to me. "Marcus... what... are you... doing?" I asked between moans of pleasure.
"I'm making you mine," he said in his low sexy growl that almost made me cum right there.
"Oh God, Marcus. You have to stop, baby. I'm going to cum!"
"Okay, baby. I'll behave, but tonight when we get everything done in your room, I'm going to make you shoot for me," he said in his sexy tone and a look that would make anybody get on their back, spread their legs, and beg Marcus to fuck them.
Then we heard from the kitchen, "You two done waking up yet?" Carl laughed. "Yes, you ass," I shot back. We went to the kitchen and Carl was grinning again like the Cheshire cat.
We were talking about what we wanted to do today after we finished moving me in. There was a knock on the door. Carl went to get it. Marcus grabbed me and pulled me into a hot steamy kiss. I couldn't keep my hands off him. I heard Carl clear his throat. We separated and I looked over and standing next to Carl was my brother, Tommy.
I moved away from Marcus. I was nervous. My brother and I were very close, but I never knew if I could tell him my secret or not. "Umm? Hi, Tommy. How are you?" I asked with a shaky tone in my voice.
"Can we talk in private, please?" Tommy asked.
"Yeah, uh sure."
"Marcus, let's go into the living room while they talk," Carl said. Marcus gave my hand a slight squeeze before he left.
There was an awkward silence for what felt like an eternity until I couldn't take it anymore. "Would you like some coffee?" I asked. "Look, Tommy. I know why you are here and if it is to scold me like Dad and say you hate me, then you can save it and leave. I am in no mood for it," I said with a lot of power in my voice.
"Davis, I'm not here to yell at you. I knew you were gay already and I don't care. You're still my big brother."
I teared up as relief washed over me. I could take losing my parents, but I couldn't take losing my little brother. "Thank you, Tommy. That means so much to me." I gave him a big hug. "Wait a minute - how did you know I was gay?"
"Well, bro, to the untrained eye you are very sneaky when you look at guys, but I have seen you drooling over my football buddies, especially when they don't have their shirts on."
I blushed instantly. "I hope none of them noticed and felt uncomfortable."
"No, bro. None of them noticed except Mario. He kind of liked it!" he said with knowing grin. "No, he is not gay. He just doesn't care if you look at him. I mean, honestly, didn't you think it was a little odd with how many times you caught him coming out the bathroom after a shower?"
My face instantly got hot. "He did that on purpose? He is the hottest of all of your friends, but please tell me he didn't make fun of me for it." I said, starting to panic a little.
"Look, bro. Calm down. He didn't make fun of you about it. He thought it was kind of hot. I will have him text you later okay?"
"Thanks, bro. So, uh, how are things at home?"
Tommy sighed. "Not good, bro. Dad is still pissed. He's been saying since I got home last night that he has only one son and a bunch of other crap and mom hasn't said anything. All she's been doing is crying."
I looked down feeling like crap. "I never should have told them. Then things wouldn't be so screwed up." I broke down again completely losing control of my emotions.
Tommy pulled me into a hug and let me cry into his shoulder. "Hey, big bro, it's going to be okay. You still have me no matter what."
"Thanks, bud. That really means a lot to me," I said in his shoulder.
"Hey, we're brothers. You've always had my back. For example, when I started kindergarten, who was it that came and calmed me down at lunch when I wanted to go home?"
"Me."
"Yes. And who beat the shit out of those bullies who were picking on me in the 5th grade?"
"Me," I said with a smile.
"Yes, you. You have always been there for me no matter what. You were there for me as a friend and protector. Now it's my turn to be there for you," he said, still holding me and rubbing my back.
"Well, little bro, it's kind of my job to protect you." I said, and we both laughed. "Would you like to meet my boyfriend?"
"I'd love to. I need to grill him to make sure he is right for my big bro." Tommy said with a broad smile.
"You'd better behave, Tommy," I warned with a smile creeping onto my own face. We walked into the living room.
"Is everything alright?" Carl asked.
"Yeah, everything is so good," I said and turned to Marcus. "Marcus I want you to meet my little brother, Tommy. Tommy, this is my boyfriend, Marcus." They shook hands and talked a little while. My brother tried to embarrass me with some family stories.
I was so happy to see how good they got along. Tommy helped us unload the rest of my stuff. We set all the furniture up, but I still had all the boxes to unpack. Tommy had to get back home. I was sad to see him go.
"Listen bro, if you need anything, just call," I said, pulling him into a hug.
"See you, bro. I will come back as much as I can during the summer." I gave him one more hug before he got into his car. "Oh, by the way, I really like Marcus. He seems like a really nice guy. If he doesn't treat you right, you better tell me!" Tommy said sternly.
"I will. Besides if he doesn't, I will just hit on Mario!" I chuckled. My brother just shook his head and drove off.
I went back inside. Carl was in the living room watching TV. I waved at him as I went to my room. Marcus was sitting on my bed, smiling like a cat at a mouse.
"What?" I said.
"Well, I thought I would be a good boyfriend and start to unpack for you and I found something quite interesting."
I started to panic a little because I have a feeling I know what he found. My suspicions were confirmed when he pulled out the dildo I bought when I was feeling really stupid. I don't know why but I started to cry. Marcus came over and hugged me. We sat down on my bed, Marcus still holding me. I stopped crying and looked at him.
"I'm sorry," I said.
"No. I shouldn't have brought it out," Marcus said, leaning toward me and giving me a kiss. "Baby, why do you have it anyway? We talked about it and I know you aren't ready for anal sex yet."
I looked down. "I didn't want to lose you, so I thought that if I bought that, you would be satisfied until I am ready for us to make love." I still had tears running down my face. "I don't know when I'm going to be ready to be ready for anal, Marcus. I do know I love you. I want you to be my first, but I don't want you to get bored with me because I want to wait." My flood gates opened and down the tears fell.
"Davis, listen to me, and listen good: I love you and that will never change. For the first time in a long time I feel like I'm whole. I know you are not ready for anal and I would never force you into it, baby. I want you to enjoy it as much as I do. We will make love when the time is right, okay? I love you, Davis. Don't you ever forget that."
"God, how did I get so lucky to find a guy like him?" I thought to myself. He is so big and strong, but he is also so very kind and gentle. We laid down on the bed. I snuggled up to Marcus and fell asleep.
I want to thank everybody that has ready my story and stuck with me while I was looking for an editor I really appreciate all the love I have received from people who have like me story.
I also want to thank my editor and friend, Tony, for helping me with this story.
As always, send your thoughts to bigdizzy21@gmail.com
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Thanks again to my editor Tony for teaching me a lot in these last two chapters I appreciate everything you have done for me.