"Coming Out Of the Dark"
By Chris Engelke chris_engelke@yahoo.com
Author's Note: After getting absolutely zero responses from the last chapter of this story I posted, I had to think about whether I wanted to continue doing this story or not. After a lot of soul searching, I decided I wanted to continue. I hope that you all do write to the authors of your favorite stories and let them know you love their stories and appreciate their hard work.
The stories I really love currently are "Jamie's Romance" by Jim Higgins, "Lance JC & Astral Fan" by Pete1211, "Lance's Search" by BJ, and "Real Slim Boyband" by johnmonte2001. Keep up the great work!
Please e-mail me with comments or suggestions. My e-mail address is above.
Last time in my story:
Tom was able to get to Kevin's room before JC's elevator got to the floor. Tom pounded on the door. Kevin opened the door. "God! What's the fucking problem?" Kevin said, and then saw Tom. "Tom! Oh my God!" He threw his arms around Tom. "How are you?"
In a monotone voice, Tom replied, "I'll be OK. I'm back on Zoloft."
"Zoloft? I know I've heard of that before, but I forgot what it's for."
"It's an anti-depressant. Unfortunately, it's also affecting my appetite." Tom said. "We can catch up later. I need to talk with Howie. Is he here?"
"He's inside. What's going on?" Kevin said, and then stepped aside to let Tom in.
"Alex?" Tom yelled into the room.
AJ saw Tom and ran to him. "Tom!" He hugged him tight and planted a kiss on Tom's cheek.
"It's great to see you, Alex."
"You, too! Kev and I have been so worried about you. What's up?"
AND NOW, CHAPTER 7:
Looking aggressively at Howie, Tom asked AJ, "Has Howie apologized to you yet?"
Howie, in what seemed to be against his normally calm and cool personality, was angry at Tom. "Why the fuck should I apologize? AJ's the sick faggot, not me!"
Tom tried to control his anger, but couldn't. He snarled, and then lunged at Howie, knocking him to the ground. "You goddamn motherfucker! You have no fucking right to treat Alex the way you did! He's not the sick fuck, you are!"
"All fags are sick and deserve to die!" Howie preached. "It's in the bible!"
"Howard, do not use the bible to justify hatred!" Brian yelled back at Howie.
"Alex, Kevin, I want you both to know how wonderful I think you are. I really want to be your friend."
"Tom, you are our friend." Kevin said, trying to make Tom feel better and calm down.
"I'd love to get to know you, to get the chance to get to love you both. However, there is something I need to do that I hope you can forgive me for."
"There is nothing for you to ask their forgiveness for, Tom." Brian said, speaking up for AJ and Kevin. "The one that needs their forgiveness, and mine and Nick's too is Howie, and I don't know if I can speak for the rest of the guys, but I am nowhere near ready to forgive him."
"Thanks, Brian. I really appreciate that you don't hate me. I hope that continues after." Tom said, and then looked back at Howie. "Howard, unlike you, I am a friend of Alex. It's really sad that someone like me how barely knows him could treat him with so much more respect than you do. If I were Alex, I wouldn't have stopped at yelling at you!"
Howie didn't feel threatened by or scared of Tom's threats. He grabbed Tom's arm tight, then said, "Oh yeah? What would you do if you were him?"
Tom broke free of Howie's grasp, and then threw him hard against the wall. He put one hand against Howie's neck, and raised him off of the ground.
JC ran into the room and saw what Tom was doing. "Tom!" he screamed.
"Get your fucking hands off of him!" Nick yelled.
"No, Nick! Can't you see how deeply Alex is hurt because of this dick?" Tom responded.
"Please, Tom!" JC cried.
"Make up your mind, Josh! Who do you love, Justin, Steve, or Howie?"
Howie was even angrier at Tom. Nobody in the group knew that Howie was interested in guys, let alone having an affair with JC.
"Tom, you know I love Justin! I don't give a fuck about Howie! He's not worth going to jail for!" JC desperately replied.
"I may not look like it, but I could so easily kill you!" Tom yelled at Howie. "You should thank Josh, however." He lowered Howie back down. AJ looked at Tom strangely. "Yes, Alex?"
"What did you mean when you asked JC to make up his mind about who he loves? Why did you include Howie?"
"You didn't know?" He looked at AJ, then Kevin, Brian, and Nick. All had confused faces. "I just found out that JC had an affair with Howie quite some time ago."
"WHAT? You fucking prick, Howie!! After all the... GOD! I can't even stand to look at your ugly face!" AJ yelled, then ran out of the room.
"Fuck! I'll go after him." Tom started to run after AJ, but was stopped by JC.
"What about our surprise, Tom?" JC asked.
"I will be back soon, Josh. I can't wait to see James, Joe, and Chris. I really have missed them a lot after they left."
"But..." JC begged, trying to get Tom to stay.
"Josh, I will be back." Tom repeated. "I'm worried about Alex."
"He's not going to do anything stupid." Brian tried to reassure Tom.
"It depends on what your explanation of stupid is." Tom explained. "What if he gets really drunk? He wouldn't know what he was doing and then he could do something. I've had a lot of friends off themselves and most of them were drunk at the time."
Nick was now very worried about his band mate and one of his best friends. "He's got gonna kill himself, is he, Bri?"
"No, Nicky. He's not gonna do that. Tom will find him. Go, Tom. Please find AJ." Brian said to Tom.
"I'll call Josh as soon as I find him." Tom left the room. At first, he knocked on the other suites that the Boys had, but got no response. He tried to be positive and tried checking the hotel gym. When he didn't find him there, he checked the hotel restaurant then the bar. Not finding him in either place, he started to get very worried. He went outside and spoke with the doorman.
"Hi, Mr. Morrison. Have a nice day." The doorman said.
"Have you seen Mr. McLean?" Tom asked.
"Yes. He left a little while ago."
"Which way did he go?"
"He went north."
"What's down there? I really need to find him badly."
"There's not much up that way. He did seem really upset, so I think he might be at a bar a few blocks down the road."
"Thanks, man!" Tom rushed away and went to a bar named "Moe's". Tom snickered when he saw the name. "If I see Homer Simpson here, I will scream!" He stood at the door for a minute, then entered the bar. Like the bar on "The Simpsons", this bar was a dank and dark dive. He started to walk to the bartender to ask if he had seen AJ, but stopped when he spotted his friend in a booth that was the farthest from the door. Sighing heavily in relief, he went over to AJ, who was fast on the road to being totally wasted. "There you are, Alex!"
"What are you doing here?" AJ slurred.
"I was really worried about you." Tom said, then sat down. "I almost killed Howie."
AJ shivered when he heard Howie's name. "Do NOT mention his name to me ever again!" His anger quickly turned to sadness. "Tom, why does he hate me so much?"
"I don't think he hates you." Tom said, trying to comfort AJ.
"Of course he hates me. That's the only reason for all of this. He called me a sick fuck for being attracted to him, but it turns out he dated JC."
"I don't know why he did what he did, but I will give him the benefit of the doubt that he had a damn good reason for hurting you so badly."
"Why?"
"I think it's a possibility that his parents forced him to choose between JC and them. He chose his family. His family probably hated the fact that their son liked guys."
AJ was amazed that Tom would try to find logic in Howie's attitude. "Why are you making excuses for him?" He painfully said, then drank the vodka that was in front of him. "Do you hate me that much?"
Tom then spoke without thinking about what he was saying. "Xan, you know I don't hate you! I could never hate you! I love you and Kevin as much as I love James, Josh, Chris, Justin, and Joey. Well, not James. There are not too many people I have loved as much as I love James."
"What did you just say?" AJ asked.
Tom stopped for a second to think about what he just said. When he realized what he said, he was extremely surprised. However, he was happy he said it. "Alex, I hope you're not uncomfortable with the fact that I said I loved you and Kevin."
"No! Of course not! I didn't mean that, anyway. I meant what you called me."
"Oh...I guess I called you Xan. I thought it sounded cute. I'll go back to calling you Alex...or AJ."
"No! I like the sound of Xan."
"Thanks, Xan!" Tom smiled. "I think we need to talk somewhere private."
"Where?" AJ asked.
"Do you want to go back to the hotel?"
"No. I can't go back there yet." AJ said.
"OK. Let's take a walk along the beach." Tom suggested.
"That sounds good. Let's go." AJ said, and then paid for his drinks.
He and Tom left the bar. They walked around town for a couple of hours, and talked about anything and everything. Tom talked about growing up gay. "I didn't officially come out until I was 19, but I always had an attraction to guys as well as girls."
"When did you start having those feelings towards other guys?"
"I was about 12. I hadn't even thought about sexual feelings until I lost my virginity."
AJ was amazed that Tom lost his virginity at such a young age. "You lost your virginity at 12? Wow!"
AJ and Tom continued to walk and talk. They walked to long that they ended up in the bad section of town. Unfortunately for them, they were about to meet face to face with the worst hatred they had ever seen.
"Look, guys! Here's one of the Fagstreet Girls and his girlfriend!" One of the guys snarled.
All of the guys were acting disgusted to see AJ and Tom. "Fuck! I fucking hate you Backdoor Fags!" another one said.
A third person echoed the earlier comments. "You are so fucking right! All you guys doing those sissy, faggy songs!"
A fourth person added, "Only fairies like you would sing a song like `I Want It That Way'! Well, let me tell you which way I want it!" He pulled a gun and aimed it at Tom.
Tom tried to stay strong. He knew that if he acted weak, the guy would definitely kill him. He was failing at staying strong. He was shaking very hard and started to cry. "God! Please don't kill us! We'll give you anything you want!"
"Oh, we'll get what we want!" The second guy said. "Hey, Bill, what is it that we want?"
The first guy, whose name was Bill, replied, "We want their asses! You guys like to get fucked? We will fuck you so hard that you will feel it for the rest of your lives!"
Tom and AJ cowered in fear. "Please!" Tom begged. "Anything but that!"
The third guy was even more pissed off now. "Shut the fuck up, you goddamn faggot!" He yelled at Tom, they hit him extremely hard in the stomach. Tom yelled loudly, the doubled over in pain.
"Tom!" AJ shouted. He tried to go to Tom to help him, but was abruptly stopped when the fourth person, the guy with the gun, hit him on the back of the head with the gun, knocking him unconscious.
"Alex..." Tom weakly said.
"Don't worry about your boyfriend!" the third man snarled and sarcastically said the word "boyfriend". "He's taking a nice little nap."
The second man added, "That nice little nap will turn into a long nap if we don't get what we want!"
Tom bawled, "Oh my God!"
"God's not gonna help you now!" The man with the gun shouted. "Take your faggy clothes off or both you and your girlfriend..." He pointed to AJ. "...will die a long, horrible, painful death!"
Tom couldn't believe he was going to be gang raped by four guys. He slowly took off his clothes. He was taking far too long because all four of his abusers started to pound on him. One guy pulled out a knife and ripped Tom's clothes off.
The four guys took their turns raping Tom fiercely both anally and orally. At first Tom fought back, but eventually his mind shut down and his body just let the guys continue to rape him.
For hours, they abused Tom's body. Eventually, they grew tired of the constant abuse and the raping finally stopped. The largest of the men picked Tom up and threw him back to the ground near AJ and knocking him out cold.
The man with the gun went over to Tom and AJ. "To make sure you never report this to the cops..." He aimed the gun at each person, then fired off several shots.
TO BE CONTINUED
Am I going to kill off my favorite Backstreet Boy? I haven't decided yet. No, this is not just a plea for someone to e-mail me, though I would love to find out what you would like me to do next in this story. My e-mail address is chris_engelke@yahoo.com.