This story is a work of fiction and contains sexual activities between males. Please do not continue if you are under the age of 18, or live in a region where it is illegal. If you like the story please send me a message at james5508@gmail.com
Also thanks to Takeshi for taking the time to edit and help give me suggestions to improve my writing. I hope you all enjoy the latest chapter.
Common Misconceptions
Chapter 4
"A massive ten car pill-up has been reported on the south bound lanes of I-57." The radio DJ announced.
"Shit! It figures this would fucking happen!" Ryan barked, bringing his forehead roughly against the leather steering wheel.
"All people planning to travel southbound on I-57 should be warned that traffic will be backed up for at least an hour, most likely more."
"Thanks for telling me!" Ryan said angrily as he turned off the radio.
Being trapped alone in his car, isolated with only his thoughts, was the last possible scenario that Ryan wanted to face. He knew that he had already spent way too much time thinking about what had happened with Kyle. He just wanted to put it as far away from his memory as possible. He just didn't want to think about it anymore. Kyle brought him closer than ever to the realization that he might be gay. He had always felt different, like he didn't belong, but being an outsider didn't necessarily make someone gay.
And he, Ryan Davis, could not possibly be gay. It simply couldn't happen. He was one of the most popular guys in his high school class, as well as one of the smartest, after all he did get a full ride to college. He played on the varsity football and baseball teams since he was a sophomore, helping bring two state titles to his school, it just could not be possible that he might be gay. People like him simply were not and could not be gay. But why did he keep having thoughts about other guys? Why wouldn't they go away? All he wanted was to be normal, to not have these urges that so terrified him.
He had always had a feeling of being different, from when he was in the locker room with the other guys, all laughing and joking about their latest Ôconquests' with the hottest chicks in school. He would join in, he had too, peer-pressure always seems to win in those situations. Ryan was forced to bury any thoughts and fantasies about the other guys he would see--their robust bodies so powerful with rippling, taut muscles. How he longed to reach out and stroke those long strings of flesh, glistening with beads of sweat. But that was forbidden. Locker room antics taught him long ago that guys who had wishful thinking over other guys were weak, not real men, but sissies and fags.
Ryan knew deep down that he had always felt like an outsider looking in and that did not go with his seemingly all American persona. He was so popular, having to constantly ward off unwanted attention from members of the opposite sex. For years Ryan was lucky enough to be able to get away with excuses about having to much to worry about with school and sports, so his parents never gave him grief about having a girlfriend. But his parents not suspecting anything out of the ordinary, did not alleviate any of Ryan's suffering. He had only a few, two or three, really close friends upon which he could count on to be there for him no matter what, or at least until he would lay the burden that he might be gay upon them. For Ryan had no idea how they would react to news such as that, all he could hope for was the best, while expecting the worst.
"It's all fucking Kyle's fault!" Ryan screamed pounding his clenched fists against the black dash board of the car. He had spent so many long summer days lost in thought--'It really can't be true. Can it? Sure it had felt good while we were going at it, but its not like it lasted that long, or that we did that much. It doesn't matter. It was just a one time thing, but why does strange guilty feeling keep coming back to the pit of my stomach?' Ryan thought as he stared intently at the red brake light of car in front of him.
All he wanted was to get this drive over with, it wasn't supposed to take this long. He did not want to think about the possibility anymore. He just wanted to begin his new life away from all the fears and anxieties that his past continually brought back to him. To be able to concentrate on his classes and on his grades, not his dark secret, forever brooding in unknown regions of his mind.
Ryan knew that all his deep consuming thoughts came back to one source--Kyle. That steamy early summer night with Kyle was by far the hottest encounter Ryan had ever experienced. Nothing he had ever done with any of his girlfriends could possibly begin to compare. It just felt so right, like he was meant to do it, at least when they were in the throws of passion. After Ryan came down from his high, Ryan felt a knot forming in the pit of his stomach, one that he had felt before--one forming from guilt. Ryan knew that he loved every second of their encounter, how the soft touch of Kyle's fingers on his skin excited him, how memorized he had been when Kyle brought their lips together for the first time. But after it was over?
That night Ryan felt like the world was collapsing around him. Everything that he had spent a life time concealing from others had finally managed to escape. Could he now just ignore the power of those thoughts and feelings?
Ryan knew that Kyle had to have had something to do with the way that he felt. Ryan knew Kyle was at fault, he didn't want to do what they did that night. He was attracted to Kyle, yes, but Kyle was the one that went after him, corned him in that bedroom. Those thoughts and rationalizations allowed Ryan to push his desires and fears to the back of his mind, but they always moved back into the fore front whenever Ryan was left alone with his thoughts.
A picture of that night swirled into Ryan's head as he looked out the car's windows, the same picture that had visited him hundreds or thousands of times since it first happened. Kyle had just crawled up from between Ryan's legs, spreading his body out on top of Ryan's. Ryan's breathing was rampant from trying to recover from the mind bowing service he had just received, when he noticed Kyle rolling off the bed, and began picking his clothes off the ground.
Ryan stayed motionless in the bed watching Kyle stumble around the half-lit room, hoping that Kyle would say something. A countless number of thoughts began to whirl around Ryan's head. Was he bad? Did they do something wrong, even after everything had felt so good? As Ryan began to give his thoughts life, he began to sweat--he had actually done it. He gulped, but it did no good, his throat was parched from worrying about what had just taken place. ÔOh my god, what have I just done?' Ryan thought, sitting up at the end of the bed with a sheet covering only his midsection.
Staring intently over at Kyle, Ryan felt a sense of relief when Kyle finally allowed their eyes to collide and gave Ryan a small smile. But their was something different about this Kyle from the one that Ryan had talked to just an hour before hand, his eyes were colder, emptier than they were when the two were in the throws of passion. The look drove a small shiver down Ryan's spine, it was definitely not the look Ryan was hoping for after his first sexual encounter with another man.
Kyle walked over to Ryan, pulling his shirt over his head, and said to Ryan in a soft voice, "That was so intense Ryan. It was one of the best times that I've had in quite a while." Kyle bent down and laid his lips on top of Ryan's before lifting up and brushing Ryan's blond bangs over to the side. With a smile towards Ryan, Kyle stretched out his body and headed toward the door and shutting it behind him. Ryan was left alone on the bed, nervous that someone would find out what had just happened.
Sitting quietly in his car, Ryan looked at the sky overhead. It was covered in dark clouds rolling over one another with the occasional clash of thunder and bright flash of lightning. It was obviously storming somewhere to the south, the direction that Ryan needed to be heading, if the traffic would ever let up.
Ryan's worries about Kyle and what they did circled Ryan's head all summer. He began to distance himself from his family and his friends, believing that if he exposed himself to much they would be able to detect his secret. He only felt little pangs of guilt from cutting himself off from his family, but it paled in comparison to his guilt from his encounter with Kyle, except in the case of Sean. Sean Young was Ryan's best friend, they had been friends since the two were in the fourth grade. They grew up together, been in the same classes for years, played for the schools sports teams together, been together almost constantly for most of their lives. Ryan felt incredible pangs of guilt when he thought about how often he had blown off Sean over the beginning of the summer, but he was simply afraid of possible reactions. Ryan knew that Sean had noticed that something was wrong with him, but luckily Sean did not say a word, and when Sean told him that he and his parents were going away for the rest of the summer, Ryan began to feel a sense of relief. He didn't have to worry about his best friend finding out, he was safe to continue to agonizing in private about what he could possibly do to handle future situations.
As Ryan sat in his car staring at the back bumpers of the traffic in front of him, he began to think about his going away party the day before. . .
The day started off just fine, he was so excited about finally being so close to leaving for college, a welcome new stressor that would hopefully replace other worries in his mind. Ryan's mom had made sure that the other four Davis siblings were their along with most members of his extended family. They came around during the early afternoon to wish him good luck and to visit with other family members. He was really happy to see so many people there--both sets of grandparents, most of his aunts and uncles, there are so many that Ryan sometimes forgets just how many, and his cousins. Ryan always loved being with his family even being as large as it was, Ryan just loved it. Everybody always being in each others faces, being loud and obnoxious, it was usually enough chaos that it allowed Ryan to escape without being analyzed to much.
He was especially proud that he managed to get through and maintain a pleasant conversation with his Uncle Doug, Aunt Susan and their children. They were the least tolerable and the strictest member of the family, usually inciting some kind of fight between members, but Doug being his mothers brother, they had to be invited to everything, so Ryan usually tried to avoid their company as much as possible.
Around six o'clock some of their neighbors began to arrive. Ryan had seen most of adults in various other social occasions that he was forced to attend. The majority of them came with their children, some of which Ryan had seen around his school, but he didn't know much about any of them.
After growing bored with the conversations that he was having with some of the other kids, Ryan sat down on the house's main stairway. The staircase began across the foyer from the front door and made a curve around the wall of the room ending at a hallway on the second floor. A chandelier of white crystals dangled from the ceiling, cascading light upon the scene below, upon which Ryan looked on with only mild interest.
His parents were standing near the door talking with some other couples about god knows what, his mother situated so that she could keep one eye on the door just in case someone would walk in. Ryan let out sigh as he heard a some woman let out a deep cackle. What was supposed to have been an off to college party had turned into a just another chance for his parents to impress the obscenely rich and snotty neighbors.
Ryan looked up a moment later to see his mother motioning him over to her, the other couples they had been talking too having left a few seconds earlier.
"Ryan are you okay?" His mother asked, concern filling her eyes. "Why are you sitting there on the stairs, aren't you having fun?"
ÔYeah, this is just a blast! I've never had such a good time, getting to watch you and dad trying to impress these stupid conceited people while I get to talk with all those arrogant assholes who think they are better than everyone else. Definitely what I call a good time.' Ryan thought, but he managed put a smile on his face and told his mom that he was fine, which his mom seemed to buy without much of a second glance.
"Now Ryan I've invited the Parkers over tonight. You know who they are right? They live in that house up at the corner of 18th and Jefferson, the old art deco style house." His mother said to him, straightening out Ryan's sport coat.
"No I don't think I know who they are." Ryan said honestly.
"Really? They have a son about your age, but I can't seem to be able to recall his name. Well, anyway they happen to be one of your fathers best clients, so please be on you best behavior."
Ryan rolled his eyes as his mother finished her work with his jacket, when the door opened and Ryan saw a later middle aged couple with someone behind them, but Ryan could not tell who it was. As Mrs. Parker came into the foyer Ryan got a better look at her, she was tall with light blonde hair pulled up on top of her head, and was wearing some sort of pants suit which Ryan thought made her look like a taller Hillary Clinton. Mr. Parker on the other hand was obviously a little older than his wife with dark grey hair. But the figure behind the couple is what caught Ryan's attention. Ryan's breath caught in his throat as he saw Kyle standing their, the person he'd done things with that he was so secretly ashamed of. Ryan threw his head back, thinking that the recent turn of events composed a perfect cliche.
"It is so nice of you to make time to come to our little get together tonight Jane." Ryan's mother said to their newest guests.
"It's not a problem at all, actually I was looking forward to coming. I forgot how beautiful your home is Michelle." Mrs. Parker replied, looking around the grand foyer of the Davis's house.
"Thank you so very much! Yes, it has been a long time since we have seen each other," Michelle Davis said, "And this must be your son Kyle, I don't we have ever met."
"Yes, this is Kyle, I thought everyone had met him, but it seems I was wrong. But I do believe that our children have meet before." Jane said, looking over at Kyle, who was looking straight at Ryan, but turned quickly back to his mother when he was addressed before allowing is eyes to once again fall on the package between Ryan's legs.
"Umm-Yeah." Kyle mumbled. "We meet back in May."
Ryan could not believe that Kyle was right in front of him again. He had wanted nothing more to do with him, but here he is. ÔWhat is he going to do?' Ryan thought. Every memory of that night, every thought about their encounter, every agonizing second Ryan had spent analyzing that night rushed back into his head. Ryan was so caught up in his thoughts that he barely heard his mother asking about how the two of them met.
"Ah, I think we first met over at John's party, and we hung out a bit there, but since I haven't really seen much of him." Ryan said quietly to the group.
"Oh I bet it's so good to be able to see each other again." Michelle said, "So Kyle, I hear that you were heading off to Northwestern in a couple of days."
"Yes Ma'am, I'm leaving in two days, classes start next week."
Ryan's mom, addressing Kyle's mom said, "You must be so proud of him."
Mr. Parker turned away from his whispered conversation with Robert Davis and walked over to his wife saying, "We are very proud of Kyle, in the top of his class over at St. Anthony's, and now going off to Northwestern, I don't think any parent could be prouder of their child than Jane and I are of Kyle."
Ryan's mom rolled her eyes discretely in Ryan's direction. He knew that his mother never liked the Parkers, but they had the most money, so they expected to be treated like royalty. Ryan never understood why his parents had much to do with them as they didn't really care much for the society around the neighborhood, but Ryan figured that they probably didn't want to be completely cut out from it either.
"That is quite obvious," Mr. Davis said. " Well I hope that you are successful over their Kyle, it is a very good school, now Don would you like to discuss that deal in my office?"
"Sounds like a good idea to me, Robert." Don Parker replied, and the two men left, heading off towards his dad's office, leaving the women and the two young men alone.
"Now Ryan why don't you go and introduce Kyle to some of the others?"
Ryan just shrugged his shoulders, replied with small mumble and asked Kyle to follow him into the spacious living room where most of his family was gathered.
By nine thirty most of the guests of the Davis had left, leaving only some of his parents closest friends and family members, making Kyle the only other teenager besides Ryan. Ryan was still slightly nervous about Kyle being such close proximity to him the entire night, even though nothing had happened. Ryan had observed that Kyle seemed completely relaxed talking to his parents and other guests, but the way that Kyle's eyes always seemed to travel to him bothered Ryan a great deal. He just wanted Kyle to go away and leave him alone, not keep taunting him.
"I can't believe that you are going away to school so quickly Ryan! It seems like just yesterday you were a little baby screaming your head off because you couldn't get what you wanted." His grandma Rose said to him in a light German accent, except Ryan did not hear a word.
After a few moments of silence his mother snapped, "Ryan pay attention to your grandmother when she is talking to you!"
"Uh-sorry, grandma, yeah, I'm really excited, but still a little nervous."
"Of course you are dear, its a big change, but you'll be fine. But Ryan, you and your friend Kyle seem awfully bored talking with us old folk down here, you two should go upstairs and do what ever you normally do."
"Um, I guess that's okay," Ryan began nervously, but luckily no one seemed to notice, "We could go up to my room."
As Ryan said this Kyle got a very knowing smirk on his face, and stood quickly when Ryan did. When Ryan saw the smile on his face, the same one from the party so many months ago, Ryan's blushed slightly, and quickly turned his back to the adults in the room before heading to his bedroom with Kyle right on his heels.
Hearing the soft clicking of the bedroom door Kyle turned towards Ryan, pushing their lips together. Kyle tried to push his tongue into Ryan's mouth, but Ryan refused to part his lips for the invading muscle. Giving up after struggling to gain entry into Ryan's mouth, Kyle ended the kiss and stepped back to get a better look at Ryan.
"Holy fuck man!" Kyle said breathlessly, slightly licking his lips. "You're even hotter than last time. How the hell are you so fuckin' hot all the time?"
Ryan didn't respond, but diverted his eyes away from Kyle's while he felt a blush make its way to his face from his neck. He didn't want to do this again, but that soft, quick kiss awakened feelings inside of him that Ryan wanted desperately to control.
Kyle pulled close against Ryan, grinding their bodies together. Kyle extracted a soft groan from Ryan when he began to rub his hands against the taut muscles of Ryan's torso. Kyle's touch exhilarated Ryan, who was dangerously turned on by it. It began to awaken feelings in him that he had suppressed for so long. He didn't want to go through the roller coaster emotions again, he needed to stop Kyle before they would do something that Ryan knew that he would regret.
But when Ryan began to push Kyle away, Kyle stepped back and shoved Ryan onto his bed, causing him to gasp in surprise. Kyle jumped on top on Ryan, bringing their mouths together and before Ryan had a chance to get a grip on his new position, he felt Kyle's tongue push deeply into his mouth. The swelling bulge inside of Ryan's pants left nothing to either boy's imagination. Kyle moved his hand down from Ryan's chest onto the prominent tent, gripping it slightly, causing a sharp inhalation of breath from Ryan.
Kyle started fidgeting with the zipper to Ryan's pants, but having no success, Kyle pulled their mouths apart and moved downward to unfasten the straining material. Ryan opened his eyes and looked down at Kyle who had managed to undo the button and was rolling down the zipper. Kyle didn't bother removing Ryan's pants, but instead started groping Ryan's cock with his mouth though the shorts. Ryan put his hand on top of Kyle's head and ran the hair though his fingers, signaling to Kyle that he was appreciating what Kyle was doing for him, all thoughts about stopping long gone. Ryan's hand drove Kyle to move faster, pulling down the fabric of the shorts with his teeth, allowing them to snap underneath Ryan's balls.
Ryan let out a soft yelp as he felt Kyle's cold hands begin to caress his hard cock, following with soft brushes against his skin by Kyle's moist tongue. Kyle's hand on his dick and his tongue dancing around Ryan's most sensitive skin sent shivers up and down Ryan's spine, and when Ryan felt a a warm wetness overtake his manhood, he let a soft cry escape his parched throat.
Ryan looked up from the steering wheel and saw that the cars were slowly starting to move, gradually picking up speed over several miles. He wished the storm overhead would take the same pace as the highway, but he was wrong. The clouds were dropping huge amounts of rain all over the area.
He continued his journey to his future with caution, he didn't need anything else to happen before he even got a change to get aquatinted with his new life. He managed to purge most of the thoughts that had badgered him over the afternoon, but they didn't completely leave him; his secret thoughts and desires never left him entirely.
About twenty minutes later Ryan turned off the highway, along with of what seemed to be half of the traffic traveling that day, and drove into his new life, his future, and maybe a chance at happiness. The storm had moved on, leaving the middle sized town to itself, with its thousands of incoming students. ÔWhy did I not come earlier?' Ryan thought as he saw the huge amount of people gathered in front of every building on campus.
The sides of the road were flooded from the recent rain and with all the people in town, which meant that Ryan had to drive on the side of the road, occasionally splashing water onto the side walks. As he drove towards the center of the campus of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign in order to get his room assignment, Ryan saw some rainbow colored flags hanging below some windows on an adjacent apartment building. Ryan swallowed hard and took a deep breath.
Those feelings were becoming too hard to deny any longer. . .