Chapter 4 -- IF BURN WE MUST.
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Thoughts of Lorenzo were burning me. The next day, I saw Lorenzo in the chalices of every mass. I saw him in the Holy Host when the priests raised it; I saw him in every sculpture in the church: every saint had something of his face.
If I went to the close villages, I always returned near the river and I saw Lorenzo in the leaves, in the litter, in the rocks and finally the river water reminded me of that other water I had drunk from his fountain, water I would always need from now on.
And wanting to find him or at least to sense him, and remembering he'd taught me to swim, I decided to plunge in the coolness of the river but as he had seen me naked, I decided to take the risk of anyone seeing me and as it was a shaded isolated enough place, I entered the water with nothing on.
I was for three minutes swimming quietly when I did see him. He came down the hill to the very spot I was and he greeted me, calling me now only Gunther.
-Hi, Lorenzo. Here you see me, swimming as you taught me, but I have nothing on.
-Then, I'll jump in with you.
But first he also took everything off. It was perfect to behold again his perfect skin and I didn't know then but I know now that he was also desperate to find me.
Once both of us swimming naked together, he approached me and kissed me, sure now that I wouldn't refuse his lips anymore and we started to touch. I felt like I was in the baptismal font and I needed to get a bit of holy water and cross myself later. If Christ had died in the cross to redeem humanity, I felt I needed to be in another cross in a new Golgotha and redeem my beautiful Lorenzo and give myself completely to him and after touching his gorgeous dick with the aim to make him hard, I suddenly impaled myself on his dick and told him.
-If burn we must, it will be in our second life. But since probably burn we must, let's burn here on Earth in a different way. It's sacred to give myself completely to such a beautiful brother, the most sublime sacrifice that this monk can do and wanna do for you, so fuck me, Lorenzo.
-I will go on, since you're asking me, Gunther. Never could I expect that you were such a wonderful person and this is not sin, this is not sacrifice, this is only dying in the cross of sublime friendship, thanks Gunther. I don't wanna cause you any pain, though.
-Christ suffered the nails and the crown of thorns and I would suffer any pain for you, Lorenzo, but this pain is nothing, nothing...
-Then I will go on unless there comes a moment you ask me to stop. Of all my wild dreams in life, I could never dream of the sweetest possible dream, that of my beautiful Gunther with the most beautiful ass in the world giving it to me as a sacred Eucharist.
-If some pain I am feeling, I don't want to feel it. You don't think of pain when you know you wanna be crucified in the altar of friendship. So go on Lorenzo. We're the children of St. Francis of Assisi; he always helped people in need and I know you are in need of a monk who forgets his sin with the pure aim of sanctifying you. Now I'm feeling no pain.
Lorenzo went on fucking me for five minutes in our new baptismal font. The water surrounding us maybe was asking his fountain to pour again in my ass and when he finally erupted I felt I was watered with the Sacred Heart of Lorenzo but I was not expecting his next move, when
once he withdrew his cock from me, he lost no time to show me the new altar I should consecrate now. There could be no holy communication of our souls unless I was the one to crucify him now and he also fucked himself on my dick.
-Are you sure you want me to do this to you, Lorenzo?
-You've given yourself to me before as if in sacrifice. I'll also give you everything, Gunther, keep on sodomizing me.
-You can say fuck now, Lorenzo.
And so it was that I was fucking a boy for the first time in my life, my novice brother Lorenzo Quesada, and in the midst of our fuck, he asked me.
-Gunther, do you think you can ever love somebody you fear? And I don't mean being in love, I mean really appreciate somebody.
-I don't think that's possible, Lorenzo, why are you asking?
-We've always been taught to have fear of God. It's one of the first thing Christians are told. But if we fear God, can we love him?
-Don't you love God?
-Of course I love him, Gunther. I'm telling you that you have either to fear him or to love him; you cannot do both. So I love God. That's why I cannot fear him. If God is looking at us now, he should be smiling watching two of his children making love, that's all.
-You're right, Lorenzo: I cannot love Him who I fear and since I do believe in God, and I believe he is love, I won't ever fear him again. You have taught me more than all the priests and monks or men of the Church that ever existed, Lorenzo. Your theology really shows the greatness of God.
-Are you aware that we're discussing theology as we fuck, Gunther?
-I'm aware and it's perfect like this. God's works, His words and His teachings are easier with a supreme act of love as we are living. But aren't you feeling pain, Lorenzo?
-Pain is not felt in the middle of a mass, that's what we're doing Gunther, the beautiful sacrifice of Eucharist, two of God's children in a holy communication.
-And in this mass, my chalice has to pour again my wine, the water from my fountain.
After feeling my semen in his ass after the first fuck, he kissed me and told me.
-Now, we're sacred. And if we get out of the water, I wanna taste your fountain again.
-I also want to. Hope nobody can see us here.
-Then, we can do it. But before we start, you must know something, Gunther. I love you.
-Oh, my beautiful Lorenzo, I could not expect such a thing! I'm so in love with you. I've been in love with you for a couple of days now.
-Then and since we both love each other and now we don't fear the wrath of God, let's sanctify our feelings with a mutual love 69.
We seemed two priests raising two chalices in the same mass, so hard we were. Forgive me, o Lord, but my whole life I have been trained in divine images and words and I cannot get away from them so easily. And what we started doing, me first, so eager I was for Lorenzo's dick again, he a second later, seemed a new mass we were officiating and now we only had to see who would be first to drink the holy wine again. But love made us fast. We simply spilled our holy water at the same time. Then we took each other's dicks from our mouths and kissed passionately. Not knowing whether anything made sense now and sure that sooner or later we'd be discovered, we agreed in meeting after compline again in my cell, where again we would crucify each other, I mean once again we were gonna fuck.
I won't tell again how hard I spent the whole day, knowing I'd fuck with my beautiful Lorenzo again. Finally he was in my cell and we both stripped together. We were monks but we were also two horny men so off with the habits!
Then we were sweetly kissing for a minute and I invited him to jump into my bed. He then showed me his gorgeous ass and shouted.
-You first this time, Gunther. Nail me to your cross again.
He also used divine images and then I started a second crucifixion. He was so beautiful when nailed by my dick, his whole body in ecstasy, writhing and panting. I remembered the holy words and told him as if he was one of the thieves crucified next to me.
-I promise today you'll be in paradise with me.
And I had already learnt to last in the most beautiful act of redemption, when my dick was only blessing my beautiful Lorenzo and making him drink from the fountains of heaven. But a fountain always spills its water and finally I had to freshen him. Now I would be lucky to feel the lance with which Christ was speared in the cross and I turned and asked him to fuck me again.
It was a psalm, a verse from the most beautiful book in the Old Testament: the Song of Songs. He was the beloved one and was all the time chanting to me te deum in Gregorian chant. His breath rocked my neck and his lips never withdrew from mine. I was bathed in his masculine essence and for the first time I thought how beautiful it was to be in love with a boy, with a novice, but wiser than all the people I'd ever known. Again I felt the wafer of his cum baptizing me. Unfortunately we could not sleep together, share the same bed and this thought worried me for three days.
For three days he came every night to my cell and as two timid lovers, we did all we could for a couple of hours before he returned to his cell. This situation was unsustainable. And I had to talk to him. I couldn't get away from him, but I thought he was determined to become a monk one close day.
-How I'd love to sleep with you, Gunther --Lorenzo surprised me telling me one night.
-But that's not possible, my dear Lorenzo, unless we leave the monastery. I'd do it if I could do some worldly things as sharing a bed, a house, a life with such a beautiful boy as you. But I still remember all you've told me these past six months and how you desired becoming a monk, so making you leave the monastery would mean hurting you.
-Hurting me? My only wish now is to start a couple life with you, I love you so much, Gunther.
-Lorenzo, you were in love with a girl. You will probably need to find a new girl if you left the monastery.
-And what if I was? I loved her, I did, but not as strongly as I love you. Besides, loving her was the reason why I was sent to jail. Now I only want to love you, Gunther, for the rest of my life. Oh, tell me that we can try and we'll leave the monastery.
-Then I will speak with Father Adso. I think he's more benign and some reason we must give him to leave the monastery.
So the next morning I was only waiting for father Adso to sit on the confessional and I went straight to him.
-This is not a confession, father, for I can't see it as sin what I will tell you now. I'm leaving the monastery and so is Brother Lorenzo and I want to tell you why.
I didn't tell him every detail. I just told him Brother Lorenzo and I were in love with each other and wanted to live on our own as a couple now and we wanted to leave.
Father Adso was indeed more benign. He didn't send us to hell, although now I'm convinced a monk cannot send you to hell; it must be God, if hell there was after all. The father simply told me that since we were two boys, it was mortal sin and we would always live in mortal sin and were doomed to damnation so he didn't want us to continue in the monastery anymore.
-If burn we must, Father Adso, then we will, but I'm sure burn we won't. There's never been the original sin and Hades does not exist.
In three days, we left the monastery, but where were we gonna live? We'd already talked about this. Lorenzo had an uncle in a close small town who could rent us a basement and he could even give us a job. He owned a pastry shop where we could start working. Lorenzo's uncle was really open-minded and knew of our couple. He didn't get shocked when his nephew was sent to jail and he continued loving him and the fact that now he wanted to try living with a boy didn't shock him either. He really loved his nephew and I cried once again knowing there's plenty of wonderful sons of God around the world. The basement was small but there we could build a house and used to the austerity of a monk cell, our new abode was like a palace.
Ironically, my only masturbation ever before I met Lorenzo was thinking about a baker girl and now we worked in a baker shop but I only needed masturbation now with my hot boyfriend.
So we continue living together after so many years and I have always kept my faith in God, just as Lorenzo. Now I know we have all been conceived without sin and hell does not exist. So oh God, always bless our couple.
Freedom can move your life and it can be seen even in the hardest conditions, together with love and friendship, happiness and beauty. Have a look at the life of eight beggars who live together at: https://luces-delatierra.blogspot.com/ or in English at: https://lightsoftheearth.blogspot.com/