Confessions and Hail Mary's Chapter One... (C) Alex Carr
Sean thought of himself as a true catholic - having been brought up in a staunch catholic family.
All was fine until he reached adolescence and the hormones started to bite with overwhelming results.
But now he'd reached twenty, he had become deeply involved because of his vibrant passion pangs which regularly happened, because of his pent up fervor. -He became obsessed with wanting his first experience sexually.
He'd become like so many young male adults, unaware of the feminine needs, just going at it hell for leather without consideration of the emotional pulls.
The girls to whom he did take a shine, declined him mainly because of his attitude which. let's say, was not all that complimentary and certainly did not attract favor.
It was almost as if he was living in the past when men just took a woman for their needs and clumsily at that.
But something happened for which Sean could never forgive himself, it was like an alien had taken over his body leaving him with no control - and this
time he really had gone too far with a girl who smiled at him on a bus.
He bucked up his courage to visit a priest for confession and knew that he had to come out with the truth and nothing but the truth, and receive his due penance, so there he was, in the confession box, curtain closed, talking to Father Whimsey in a separate compartment through the lattice.
"And what do you wish to confess my boy?" The priest asked softly and at once, although Sean had been a nervous wreck, he felt immediately comfortable - being able just to see a vision of the priest's head through the lattice grill..
"Father, I have done a horrible thing, I have raped a girl!"
There was a short pause before the priest replied, asking if the police were involved.
"I have not heard anything yet!"
"Then you must tell me what came over you to commit this fowl deed upon another human being."
"I simply don't know, father. It is as if I lost complete control over myself."
Sean was asked if he knew the girl, was she a friend and Sean said that she
was not.
"Then how did it happen, what caused you to do it, you must tell me all my boy."
Sean took a deep breath. The only way to explain was exactly how it came about.
"I just have a very high sexual level, Father. On the way home from the City I was commuting on a bus. after work, at that time public transport is always crowded. I managed to get seat but many were standing, including this girl who stood sometimes touching my shoulder."
"And? You must tell me all, what happened next?"
"Well she was dressed in skin tight brush jeans which looked so very alluring. I don't know if she realized or not but her hind was right up near to my face as I sat there. She was slim, had the perfect figure a guy could die
for. Each time the bus changed gear and jolted I felt the warmth of her bottom brush against my face and it was as if one of my fantasies had come true."
"Fantasies? You need to tell me your most secret and deepest thoughts if I am, through the good lord, able to help you."
"I dream of sniffing a girl, especially there, it was delightful and for all the world, when the bus abruptly pulled up at some traffic lights, she almost toppled upon me and in so doing, and it was unintentional, honest father - my hand was unintentionally deep into her crotch. But it felt so good. She apologetically got to her feet again and gave me a wonderful smile. But I was smiling too. Because she seemed to take it all in her stride that I had touched her there through her jeans, and she smiled that way - well, I instinctively thought I was on a promise that's all. She got off the bus at my stop and we somehow ended up walking together. Exchanging things about ourselves. When she said she hadn't a regular boy friend I thought I was in there and I felt warm and complete in her company, even though I had never met her before.
"We took the path along a quiet spinney with tress each side, it was getting dark and she said she was glad she had a companion with her because she always felt scared walking down there after dark, but soon the clocks would be going back one hour and she could come home in daylight. When we reached the end of the lane she told me here name was Maria and I told here mine. She smiled beautifully and said perhaps we shall meet again on the bus home tomorrow evening. I said I hoped so. I felt like I wanted to kiss her. I was almost compelled to but thought well, I would be seeing her again so to put a hold onto it until tomorrow night.
"That night I had the most carnal dreams about her, it seemed so real Father. And because she befriended me with that certain smile I felt I was on a promise. My whole body wanted her and when, the following evening, she kissed me on the cheek as we parted I told her that I loved her.
"I really thought that because she kissed me and seemed so happy in my company, I really felt I could go further. I'd figured that she liked when I touched her and wondered if it was intentional that she fell on me like that, if it wasn't I made myself believe it was and when I grabbed and held her,
plastered her with kisses she sort of prompted me to stop, moving my exploring hand from that place I had felt on the bus.
"But I couldn't stop father, I honestly couldn't it was just that my animal instincts took over and I was going to have her whatever..
"She screamed and struggled but I thought that was just a show, well looking back I guess that's what I chose to think, All I knew is I had this wonderful girl in my arms, she felt and smelt divine and I had to have her there
and then."
"So you had intercourse with Marie I take it, despite her resistance son, did you not stop to realise what an emotional effect that would have had on the girl?"
"Father, my mind was swamped with the smell of her, the feel of her, the touch of here hind rubbing against my face. That took all else away, I was committed and nothing could stop me. It was as if I had been pent up for so long. In the office and in the street I was obsessed looking at beautiful girls in short skirts of tight trousers and jeans - like they were doing all they could to tempt the male species.
"It had come to a point when all those pent up feelings had to be released,
so when the opportunity seemed to arise, I took it. End of story.
"I guess, being a celibate priest you could never understand how it is, even though primarily you are a male, Father?"
The priest did not comment. He said for Sean to pray and collect his thoughts whilst he did the same, when he would know the penance to apply. But before that he asked if Sean had apologized to the girl after the deed.
"She was in no fit state she just ran off crying." He paused a little then
added; "I really thought she wanted me to when she kissed me like that. It was like something had taken over control of me and I must have seemed to her like a raging animal or something. I tried to apologize but she'd gone and I was left there feeling gutted, not believing myself what had happened. "
"Oh dear, then we shall both pray for her sake."
Silence reigned for about five minutes and then the priest spoke again, he explained that Sean must ask for repentance saying the courts do not take rape lightly and there is no reasoning it seems; about the overwhelming temptations displayed almost everywhere these days, the way girls dress and appear often to do outrageous things - can quickly stir the groin of a full red blooded male who is brooding for gratification.
"But if you don't mind me saying Father how is it possible for you to understand the sheer turmoil I felt; .a turbulence that rose inside me like a festering volcano. And how I was when an opportunity, given just the slightest encouragement, to go for it?"
"Because, like you I am open to temptation"
But I thought Priests were required to remain celibate all their lives Father?"
"It is the ruling of the Catholic Church, sure it is and as a priest I am obliged to keep to it. Yet as a human being I am, as much as you, tempted by the devil inside me."
"You mean you have succumbed Father?"
Little did Sean know that in the privacy of the booth the priest was lightly masturbating himself; having been aroused by the conversation
"It is probably harder for me. as a Priest to resist the temptations of the
flesh and I do question myself in search for some reasoning to excuse my secret fantasies,"
Sean was silent, he'd never imagined that a holy father could be drawn into
such confidential l debate, he felt a certain empathy for him, how could it be natural in the eyes of God to remain celibate.
"But we are expected to sacrifice the needs of the flesh, son" He said when Sean put that question to him.
"But I am here now to deliver a suitable penance - I say to you that if you
can you must attempt to put things to rights with the poor young girl who suffered the torment of your lust. You must try to put yourself into her shoes and try to understand just how it was for her. In kissing you she was probably simply showing you that she was initially interested in you as a boyfriend and anything more would come in time - that is how it usually is, the womenfolk being much more emotional."
"So how many Hail Mary's Father?
"I want you to come to see me weekly. We are both of like minds as far as I
can see. We can do a lot for each other to calm the devil's desire. When I
permit you to leave the booth - wait a few moments whilst I pray and then we shall depart to my quarters for your first Hail Mary.
Having arrived in the priest's quarters, Sean was asked to be seated and it
was the first time he had seen the priest clearly. He then departed to another room saying he had to disrobe, and Sean thought nothing of it, assuming that is what a Priest does whence has finished confessions.
But who would have thought the man of religion would emerge from the room like a fiend in his complete nothingness, and with a huge scepter of a penis
that Sean could never have envisaged.
"So, my son, comes your first Hail Mary; you will feel like the girl you raped but in turn we shall both dissolve the sexual desire in our groins by delivering the needs and the passion we both keep private, a passion which needs to be relinquished, else it will burst and for me; I would die not knowing how it is to bond with another human being."
Sean was flabbergasted and never having been involved in a gay relationship
it was made quite clear he must be raped like the girl he raped, and when the priest commenced ripping off his clothing he was right scared.
"You are frightened, Sean - I can see it in your eyes, now think of how that girl felt when I penetrate you and you will suffer the pain gladly."
The big man slung the lad across the arm of the couch and instantly made to
enter him, thrusting to and fro with no consideration at all and when Sean cried for mercy he would not hear of it, the boy was going to feel the whole length of it - inside a very tight virgin orifice and he would suffer the consequences as well as the needs of a man who had suffered the sexual urge for so long, and had never had the opportunity to gratify it.
This was his opportunity. For many a day - he had fantasized how it would be with a person of either sex. Already he had noticed the tightness of Sean' s backside which looked so inviting and because of the lad's bad deed, he could use him without fear of being exposed, because in so doing he would have to expose himself to the authorities, because he felt the girl he'd raped would be reluctant to do,
He pushed and pushed, Sean was yelling it hurt, the frenzied priest said he
would open it with some oil which he brought from the kitchen and firmly anointed the lad's anus with a good rubbing and probing- and at last he was able to squelch the bulk of his penis into the stretched aperture.
"He thrust firmly all the time saying `now you will know how it must have been for that poor girl."
Several times, the frenzied priest lugged into him; and several times after
each thrust, he spanked his right cheek with a resounding slap.
"That really hurts Father, please stop!"
"And how do you think the girl you raped felt? We are not finished yet by a
long chalk. Now down to the carpet on all fours - open your legs wide to receive Hail Mary two."
The priest was in his element letting free all that pent up energy which for so long had been driving him crazy - had been causing all sorts of hideous carnal fantasies that he had to live with, pretending he was strong enough, as a priest is expected to be, to put off the hunger of the flesh and concentrate on matters of his priesthood.
Now he knew what he had been missing and bore no mercy for the poor lad he was using to let all that energy free once and for all. With Sean crouched on all fours as if awaiting the priest's large persisting presence; but all the time, wishing it would soon be over, wondering just how many more Hail Mary's he had to suffer.
With endeavor and fortitude the priest managed to get fully inside and soaked up the feeling of Sean's warm tunnel which he moaned; was reminiscent of
the tunnel of life, with a bright light at the end. That is how he interpreted it, like it was a message from the almighty to deliver his seed to that light at the end.
With a final thrust the priest managed something that formerly he could only achieve by hand, his own hand, and as he came out of the lad he felt the absolute gratification.
The lad was rolling on the floor wondering if there was yet another Hail Mary but the very happy priest told him that his penance was complete but resolved this would be an ongoing thing, that he must return in one week to serve more of his penance and the needs of them both.
Sean was beside himself with what had happened - never thinking for one moment that a holy priest could do such a thing. But there was a lot more he didn't know about the man he had asked forgiveness - but strangely he was later able to appreciate how the girl he raped must have felt and he would do his utmost to see her again and try to make it all better.
He could not simply blame his atrocious deed on the short skirts girls wear
and the way they tease and sex themselves, he needed t restrain himself , to find a girl he really loved, a girl who wanted him in every way and he'd aim for that.