The next morning I woke up and decided to try something different for church. I'd been attending the Presbyterian Church in town and enjoying it very much, but I wanted something different, something a little more liberal. Not that my church wasn't liberal, but in general, they were a church made up of middle to upper class white folks who were either retired grandparents or the typical couple with two point five children and an SUV. I wanted to go where there were folks who lived slightly different lifestyles. I wanted to walk on the "wild side" for at least one Sunday. I wanted to go where there were openly gay and lesbian couples, people of different races and ethnicities, and people who came from all economic situations. So, knowing that St. Christopher's Episcopal was a very open church in those regards, I decided to try it for a change. I wasn't too secure going alone, especially after my experience last night, but had badly wanted to try it, so I decided now was as good a time as any.
I drove up, arriving about fifteen minutes early so I could get a good look around and find a good pew, and parked in the lot out back. As soon as I strolled in, the architectural beauty of the place and it's definite "high church" almost Catholic feel. The Presbyterian Church is kind of "hoity toity" feel but not like this. This was, to the Presbyterian Church, and especially to the small charismatic, evangelical, and quite fundamental country churches in which I grew up, like a cathedral. Not quite Notre Dame, but close to Westminster Abbey. As I was ogling up at the scrollwork and paintings on the ceiling I heard my name and saw David approaching out of the corner of my eye. I stopped my awe-inspired gazing, we didn't have such artwork and design in the Presbyterian church, and the one I grew up in was just a one room place with unfinished wooden pews and a basement Sunday School area partitioned off for a class for the kids and one for the adults. Folding metal chairs and cement floors were its decorations. I reached out and shook David's hand, greeting him.
"I'm so glad you came, Diana. How late did you stay last night? I was tired so didn't stick around too long," he welcomed me.
"Actually, I was there until about 2. I was tired by the time I went home, but I did have a lot of fun. J and Jenna suggested I come here, so here I am. I wanted a little something different this morning," I smiled back in return.
"Well come on, I'll show you where we normally sit. And introduce you to the pastor. She's great." With that, David led me into the sanctuary, and my mouth dropped. The pulpit seemed 500 miles away, the place was so huge, and it was ornate, surrounded by gilded statues and artwork that I felt could be displayed in the Louvre. "Diana, this is Mother Joy. Mother Joy, this is Diana Wimples, she's a friend and fellow student with Jennifer and I at the seminary," Dale introduced me.
Mother Joy, wow, that feels weird to say, as it makes me think of the Mother Superior in "Sister Act" and other movies portraying Catholic nuns, strict and fun ones both, but anyway, Mother Joy reached out her hand to shake mine. Her handshake was nice and firm, and her smile was warm and welcoming. "Nice to meet you, Diana. Welcome to St. Christopher's. I hope you enjoy worshipping with us this morning."
I smiled and nodded and mumbled something to the effect of "I'm sure I will," yadda yadda yadda, then David was leading me to a pew about halfway back from the pulpit, which was elevated over the floor and pews by about 10 feet, and I slid in about 3/4ths of the way. It was empty at the moment except for the two of us, but there were people in the pews behind and in front of us. Some I recognized as former students and knew them to be gay and lesbian men and women, or at least strong supporters of the community. Ones that weren't currently meditating or conversing with others quickly turned around, also welcoming me. Was it just me, or was everyone this morning smiling just a little too warmly at me? As if they thought, "Yeah, she's finally exploring her sexuality! Yeah, Diana Wimples is finally coming out as a lesbian!" No, it had to be my imagination . . .
Just then, J and Jenna slid in beside me, also welcoming me and glad to see me and all that jazz you hear when you show up to a new church the first time. I smiled and responded I was glad to be there and such. Then, the prelude started and we all sat quietly, meditating or reading our bulletins while the service began.
Approximately an hour later, after a few episodes of standing, kneeling, singing, speaking in chorus, and listening to a good sermon about not making divisions in the church in I Corinthians, and how all were welcome in God's house, we shook hands and gave hugs in the passing of the peace at the end of the service and began filing out to the postlude. As we gathered in the narthex, the room between the sanctuary and outside, before we left, David, J, and Jenna started making plans for lunch. I decided to tag along, especially because they invited me, and ended up enjoying myself thoroughly. But, by the time I got home, I was exhausted and ready for a nap. Alex had left me a message, saying he was beginning to feel a little better and he wanted to see me soon, Drew had left me a message saying Evan had given him exciting news, and Julia had left me a text message saying she needed a study break and that I should come play with the cats. Damn, I've never been this popular before, I thought to myself as I drifted off to sleep, how on earth am I supposed to fit it all in and find time to study.
An hour or so later I called Alex back and he asked if we could meet for dinner. We planned on meeting at Shenanigans, the local Irish pub, around 6. I then called Drew, who didn't answer his phone, and left him a message saying, "Phone tag, you're it!" Finally, I called Julia, and ended up heading to her house before I was to meet Alex for our dinner. We spent a few hours catching up, playing with kittens, and talking about the party and church experiences. She had spent the weekend studying, gearing up for exams before it all came crashing down around us at the end of the term, so she enjoyed hearing about what had been going on in the outside world. I told her the things Jenna and J had asked me, and she pondered them in her mind. She didn't really have a response, but I could see the wheels turning.
"I know you're attracted to men. I know. But, Diana, I don't know what I want," she began. "You're the first person I've ever actually acted on my feelings with. And that confuses me even more."
"Are you attracted to men? Are you attracted to me?" I asked.
"I'm not sure," she responded, "I can't really think of anyone whom I've really felt an attraction for, at least more than a 'He's handsome,' kind of way. Like movie stars and such. Never really anyone that I've wanted to wake up to find in my bed in the morning, though. And yes, I find you exceedingly attractive, Diana. That's why I like waking up next to you in the morning, or at least the idea of it."
I sighed. I didn't know what to think of Julia. I knew that I was attracted to her, and that she made me feel loved and secure. I knew she was someone who would hold me if I was crying, or laugh with me when I was full of joie de vivre. But could I spend the rest of my life with her? It wasn't an easy row to hoe. Some might think that choosing, if it could be called a choice, the gay or lesbian lifestyle was the "easy way out" but knowing what Drew had been through when he chose to come out, I knew better.
As it was, it was getting close to time to go meet Alex for dinner. I gave Julia a big hug, holding her close, patted the cats one last time, and said my goodbyes. Running out into the blustery cold, I sat in my car hoping for it to warm up as quickly as possible. Soon, I was headed down the road to Shenanigans.
After dinner, I had some exciting news. I wanted to share it with someone. I couldn't just hold it in. So, I called the person who would be most likely to either be excited with me, or tell me I was crazy and that I needed to get a grasp on reality. Yep, I called Drew, and this time he answered.
"Oh, Diana! You have to come over. I've got the most exciting thing to tell you!" He started in right away.
"Drew! I'm so glad I caught you. I've got something exciting to share with you too. Wow. A big day for both of us," I responded breathlessly, excited and nervous at the same time.
"Wait," we both responded together, "You haven't gotten engaged and aren't running off to Maui on your honeymoon without me as your witness?" I asked. He asked something pretty much the same, except changing Maui to Vegas in my case.
I quickly hopped in the car and was at Drew's in no time flat. As soon as I walked in the door, he assaulted me with his excitement. Not physically, but you could feel the energy.
"Guess what!" We both shouted out, "I'm going to Canada for Christmas!"
"Wait," We looked at each other, "You're going to Canada too?"
"Yeah, Evan invited me home with him for his break. It's shorter than ours, but he has a good two weeks," Drew explained.
"And I'm going to Thunder Bay with Alex. He asked me tonight at dinner. How weird," I added.
"You mean, I'll have to put up with you?" Drew joked.
"No siree. I'll be with Alex. And you should be with Evan, you won't be worrying about me being around, believe you me."
"True," he allowed. "Oh what fun! But damn, it will be cold."
"Ah, but we'll have boys to keep us warm. We can all cuddle up like Eskimo's," I smiled. Wow, this was going to be hard, focusing on exams while waiting for the Christmas break. I couldn't wait to see Canada and spend the time with some of my favorite people. Now, how to break it to Jess so she wouldn't feel left out. If I could, I'd invite her, but it wasn't my place. Maybe Michael and she would run off to Missoula, Montana and elope or something. Just kidding (about the eloping part)!