Confessions of Confusion

By Jay Roberts

Published on Feb 25, 2007

Gay

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+++Go away from this page if you are under 18 years of age. We are not mad at you, we are protective.

The where and when of this story is not important. It's a true story of my sexual confusion at college and Jesse, my new best friend.

This is not one of my stories about multiple sex acts, sometime with three guys, there is only one sex scene, but maybe you'll see how mind blowing that was for me knowing Jesse.

But you will want to anchor the time and place. It was Ramapo College of New Jersey, the year was 2001. I am Gary, twenty at the time. An over six foot blonde handsome tennis jock. I can say this, I am writing it. I am a rare blonde who is fuzzy haired in the arms and legs and a mass of yellow curls on my chest. I am also a blond whose skin is not pale, but naturally tan. In the summer my skin darkens to almost mahogany and Jesse said I look like a photonegative.

Jesse is a year younger. He's about five seven, very muscular, dark curly hair, great legs.

We are further different in attitude. Jesse is an aggressive womanizer, a kid who wears a perpetual scowl. He says this is a fighter's weapon, to scare the other guy. Jesse is a boxer by avocation, has boxed since twelve. He's good. Went almost to a championship in the Golden Gloves. He once said protectively to me, "Don't worry big guy, if anyone picks on you, I'll kill 'em." He would too. He's like a little gangster. I saw him flatten a guy who challenged him. It was only a couple of weeks ago at the cafeteria. Bam! One shot and the guy was out for over a half hour.

He probably thinks I need protection because I am a mild guy. He constantly complains that I am too nice to girls. Ah yes, girls. That was actually our common interest that bridged our differences.

I knew that I had a part of me that was interested in guys. I never exercised that option, but it was there. I had screwed lots of girls from junior high onward, but I was considered a nice guy and when the breakups came, we often stayed friends.

Jesse was a fuck-'em-and-leave-'em guy. His bad-boy persona made girls wet in the crotch. We often double dated. Most of the dates became me necking in my room and Jesse fucking in his. Once he walked in from his room, through the common room, naked, his cock wet from Janice and tapped my shoulder while I was licking Gloria's tits. "Hey Gar, let's change partners. Janice is willing."

Now that was hot! I looked at Gloria who was keeping her eyes closed against seeing Jesse's dick. She nodded "no" vigorously. It never came to be, but that would have been intriguing. It would have been almost like having sex with Jesse, you know, putting my prick in Gloria's cunt, feeling it wet with his goo.

Actually I appreciated Jesse's powerful personality and his sexiness, but we were buddies. I never thought of him as a sex partner. That was until he began doing something that caused me a lot of confusion.

Jesse would come over with a bottle of Southern Comfort. Yucky stuff. He would sit on the floor; he would be half in the bag already, his eyes slightly crossed. When he was drinking his entire manner changed. He became much sweeter, less macho. The other thing was that he would whip off his shirt as soon as he entered. I wondered if he was trying to get me interested in him sexually, or was he just feeling free.

I want to tell you that his bare chest and back was something to behold. Smooth and glossy, hairless, tight fighter's muscles, and those upper arm muscles and big forearms, yipe!

He would look at me, I thought very seductively, when he was bare topped. I tried to avert my eyes. Then he had the habit of rubbing his chest and I think even stimulating his nipples.

It was difficult for me as he would carry on a deep conversation and there was such a disconnect with his sexy actions.

Did I get sexed up over this? Yep. I often got a stiff one going. And wearing under shorts (my usual dorm attire) made it hard to hide. Jesse is a very direct guy. Once he was telling me about a new girl he targeted in the library. He motioned toward my cock. "Getting you hard hearing about her. Look, if you want her, I'll tell her to fuck you."

Jesse's shooting his sperm all over the place, sometimes drunk and unsheathed finally got him in trouble. Ol' Gloria reported to him that she had missed two periods. Jesse was scared shitless. "My father will pull me out of school and make me take a job to pay for an abortion. I don't know what to do. I've got no money to speak of."

Now I had plenty of money, mostly from an inheritance from my Aunt. I told him that I would lend him the money. I didn't think twice about this. He was my friend and he was in trouble. But his reaction was a surprise. He, Jesse, imagine it, burst into sobs. He grabbed me around the neck and hugged me hard. "I'll never forget what you did today. You are beautiful."

Well it turned out that Gloria was not preg, or she expelled it. In any event the money never got lent.

The next big thing that happened it that Jesse came and reported to me that his father was taking him out of Ramapo and sending him to an upstate school. He thought Jesse was frittering away his time with drinks and girls. Now where did he get that idea?

Well the sad day came. I saw little of Jesse. His stuff was sloppily stuffed into bags and his room looked like it was hit with a windstorm. But later that night he staggered in to my hovel; he was drunker than I had ever seen him. But he smiled happily at me, whipped off his shirt and came over to the bed I was propped on, studying.

He stroked his nipple. This time it was unmistakable. "Gar, do you want to suck my cock?" He saw my eyes widen and my face flush. "Don't be embarrassed. There is no guy I would let do me except you. I love you kid."

He dropped his baggy shorts. His cock was already erect. I said nothing. I leaned forward and liked the head. He said, "That's it. Enjoy yourself. It's the last time I will see you and this is my gift to you. The only thing I have that you value."

Pretty soon he stopped talking and closed his eyes, probably to blot out the picture of a guy on his dick. Soon he made a few "uhs" and slight moans. "Hey that feels good. You got a hidden talent. I think I'm not going to last much longer."

I sucked deeper until you was in the opening of my throat. His cock was humongous luckily, maybe six inches, just perfect for my first suck. Suddenly he put his hands on my cheeks. That was nice, I thought, and began humping my mouth. Then he froze and unloaded lots of spunk in my mouth. This was the only sperm I had ever tasted except my own and his was definitely sweeter.

My cock was out of the fly in my boxes and I was stroking it as I serviced him. After he came he stood swaying and trying to catch his breath. He looked down. "Poor fucker. You're hard and hurting I guess. Here let me get you off."

He leaned over me and took my (I must say much longer cock than his) into his warm hand and slowly jerked it. I was mewling like a dog, but somehow not shooting. I think it was shock. "Come on kid, let it come. I can't suck you. Wait, I'll give it a little more oomph." He tightened his grip and jerked faster. That did it. In a moment a spewed ropes of cum all over my chest and belly. "Good boy," he said and wiped his hand on my shirt and got dressed.

"Get up!" I got up and he hugged me real hard. When we separated he punched me in the ribs and that hurt. "Don't mention this little fun we just had. It's our secret." He left and he had started me on man/man sex the rest of the time at Ramapo.

End

Year later I asked a therapist what really went on here. He said that Jesse was a highly sexual guy and those kind of guys are less repulsed by man to man sex than others. "Besides he really loved you."

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