Confusion

The next morning and afternoon stole through my mind in a mist. I was deeply unconscious with a stark awareness that time was passing somewhere else. I caught phantom glimpses of people fading in and out of the room, only a muddied blend of color and sound breaking through the muffled haze of sleep.

My brain didn't reunite with my body until well after dark. The quiet of the house broke whatever trance that kept me warm in Mike's bed. The watery light reflection of the pool outside danced upon the ceiling, nearly calling me back to my pillow.

I felt exhausted, drained, and empty. All I could discern was a sense of wanting to sink deeper into the bed, to sleep even longer than I already had. I tried to whisper something into the half-light, to make a sound that would break the surreal silence of just waking up, but only broken air trailed over my vocal chords resulting in a soft sigh.

Reluctantly, I sat up and swung my legs over the side of the bed. My hands clamped down on the edge of the mattress, steadying myself. My desire to stay in bed was so strong, I was very uncertain that I would be able to will myself across the room.

I made myself stand up. I made myself walk into the bathroom and turn on the light, though the brightness made me seal my eyes shut in pain. I stood there leaned over the countertop for a few moments, opening my eyes little by little until I could see without much discomfort.

I looked up into the mirror and barely recognized what I saw. My complexion was still tanned from the sun, but more care worn than I ever remembered it being. Dark circles were just barely surfacing under my eyes. My cheeks were slightly hollow in appearance. My lightened brown hair was a tangled mess. A light dusting of stubble shadowed my face, deepening the image that I was withdrawing into a shadow of my former self.

A razor, toothbrush, comb, and other things were laid out on the counter for my use. I quickly set to work, clearing the debris from a day and a half of deterioration. I ran the water in the shower, letting the steam envelope me in a warm cocoon, bringing back my desire for more sleep.

But more sleep was the last thing I needed. I needed to stay awake, to get used to being in my own skin again, to explore things again with those new eyes of mine. Things were different, I knew that much. The little things; the mirror, the porcelain tiles, the white wallpaper with the little gold veins running through it, all appeared like I had never seen them before. Perhaps they were there the entire time, but I never took the time to see them in my preoccupation.

I undressed and crawled into the shower, letting the hot water cascade over me and rinse away the sluggishness. I slid down against the wall and sat with my arms wrapped around my knees, my chin resting upon them. I stared at the floor through my dripping hair as the water snaked down in little rivers over my face and arms.

I took a deep breath and let my body relax, leaning my shoulder against the wall, half-lying half-sitting there, peering at the steel faucets through barely open eyes. I smiled to myself and even laughed a little bit for no reason whatsoever. My smile grew broader as the silliness of everything started entering my mind. I was sitting on the floor of a shower staring at faucets.

I don't know which became funnier as I huddled there, my body shaking with suppressed laughter; the fact I was staring at the faucets or the fact I was laughing about staring at the faucets. I finally had to cover my mouth to stifle the sound. I had no idea who was awake in the house, and I would have rather not had them thinking I'd finally lost it once and for all.

The sense of relief shifted from a calm, contemplative weightlessness to full fledged joy at my new found freedom from the past. I smiled again as I saw some semblance of a future spread out before me. There wasn't a foggy darkness in front of my vision anymore, a vague feeling of despair that everything would stop if I let my guard down long enough.

The water on my lips tasted salty, and I realized that I was crying. But, I wasn't crying out of hopelessness, or surrender, or tension, or a million other painful reasons that I could have found for it. I was crying because I felt happiness. Happiness without the attachment of guilt or the fear that it wouldn't last very long. I didn't care how long it lasted at that point. It was only important at that moment that I felt it.

With renewed energy, I practically leapt from the shower, cheerfully humming to myself as I toweled off and dug into the bag of new clothes that Mike had bought for me. I smiled for probably the billionth time as I thought about how much I appreciated these gifts from him and how I would have to thank him later in the day. I would have whistled if it wasn't for the intense quiet within the house.

I grabbed a pair of blue boxers, a pair of blue sweatpants, and a white t-shirt. I wasn't going anywhere, so I didn't feel the need to be very presentable. After I dressed, I looked at myself in the mirror while combing my hair, wondering who the stranger was looking back at me. This person didn't have any sadness lingering just under the surface. He was too happy. He nearly made me nauseous.

Resisting the strong temptation to whistle, I prowled down the staircase in the dark to the first floor. My stomach began to complain rather loudly about missing a whole day of food. When I reached the front hall, I spun around on the floor in my socks, something I hadn't done since I was a kid, and laughed a little bit more before calming myself.

"Erik!" a woman whispered at me sternly.

I stopped in my tracks, slightly embarrassed that I had been caught. My eyes groped through the darkened house, but I failed to find the source of the voice.

"Kim?" I called out softly, hoping whoever was there could hear me.

"In the kitchen," she replied.

Perfect. A kitchen meant food, which is exactly what I wanted right then. "Hallo," I greeted her with a small, cheerful wave. Yup, I was going to make myself nauseous and probably everyone around me as well.

Kim was sitting at the kitchen table, sipping a cup of coffee. She gestured to the seat across from her, and I sat down.

"You sleep?" she asked, flipping through a Home and Garden magazine. A nervous habit, I figured considering it was too dark to possibly read anything at that hour.

"Yeah, I did. Pretty good too." She got up and brought me a cup of coffee.

"Good. You need to eat, or you'll get thin like Michael."

I bowed my head down to hide the grin the was forming on my lips. "I'll make myself something in a little bit. Still waking up," I lied politely.

"No no no," she said emphatically. "I'll make you something warm. You need to eat."

"No, it's ok. I'm a big boy. I'll make myself something." I was way too jovial for my own good. Every word that came out of my mouth was followed by the urge to laugh. I was starting find Kim's sincerity charming in its own way.

"We'll see about that," she stated, rising and racing toward the cupboard.

I jumped up and tried to head her off at the pass. I would make my own food, dern it, if it was the last thing I ever did. We collided just in front of the refrigerator. Wearing socks was comfortable, but they left a lot to be desired in traction. My feet flew out from under me and I landed hard on my behind, sliding across the floor.

I couldn't help myself. I burst out in a fit of laughter, hugging my arms around my sides trying to stop myself. I buried my face in my shirt to hide the intense shade of red I was turning. But, the more I tried to stop, the more useless my efforts became.

"You're silly," Kim said, pulling a few items out of the fridge. "You've been around Michael too much. He's making you silly."

I wiped tears from my face and stood up, taking a swipe at the food Kim was carrying. She pulled it out of my reach and proceeded to set it all down on the table. "What are you doing here in the middle of the night, anyway?" I asked while watching her make breakfast.

"Middle of the night! It's four o' clock!"

I glanced out the window. Just at the edge of the horizon, the sky was purplish instead of uniform black. "It still seems a little early."

"It's Monday. Monday is an early day." She put some oatmeal in a pot and set it on the stove.

"Ah ha." I sipped at my coffee. "Where's Mike at?"

"Michael's asleep on the couch in the living room."

I snaked my head around hoping to catch glimpse of him in the early morning darkness. "He sleep all night?"

"I don't know," Kim said, bringing a bowl of oatmeal over to me and laying out some milk and sugar.

I poured liberal amounts of the milk and sugar over the oatmeal. "I'll take him upstairs in a little bit, I guess."

"You should leave him sleep."

"I know. But, the couch isn't very good for his back. He should be in his bed."

I ate my oatmeal obediently under Kim's stern gaze. We chatted about the weather, the coming and goings of the Mike's parents, and the chores that had to be done that day. I didn't bring up Mike, and I think she could tell that I didn't want to. He was mine, and I wasn't so sure that I wanted to share him with anyone else just yet.

A heated debate followed breakfast regarding who got to clean the dishes. I won out this time around. Yet, when I couldn't get the dried oatmeal out of the pot, I began to think that it was a battle I was better off not winning.

After everything was put away, Kim descended into the basement, and I tip toed into the living room to check on Mike. I heard his soft breathing before I saw him huddled under the blankets on the couch.

I sat next to him for a few minutes, watching him sleep. As lightly as I could, I smoothed over his hair and felt contented just looking at him. I wanted to lay down with him, but I couldn't muster the resolve to disturb his rest. I had been responsible for enough of his sleepless nights I imagined, and I didn't want to contribute to anymore.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "I'm sorry I put you through this. I didn't mean to. Really, I didn't. I don't know what gets into me sometimes. It's easier for me to not like someone than it is to like them, let alone love them.

"I'm sorry I made you cry. I really am. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Ben. I wanted to tell you about him. But, it's not as simple as that, you know? I didn't know if you'd think I was an awful person because of what happened. I didn't know if you'd think if I was crazy or something."

"I owed you Ben, though. I owed it to you to trust you enough to tell you. I hope you can forgive me for that. I hope you don't think I'm a horrible person for all that I've put you through.

"I'll make it up to you. I promise. I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, even if that ends up not being enough."

I kissed him on the cheek. "I'm surprised you don't think I'm crazy. But, I love you for it."

"You're going to, like, let me get some sleep here sometime today, right?"

I stood up and took a step back. "You're awake?"

Mike sat up and rubbed his eyes. "It's pretty hard to sleep with you babbling two inches from my ear."

"I...um...uh...well, I thought you were asleep."

He smiled his lopsided smile and beckoned me to sit down next to him.

Hesitantly, I did. I was certain that he thought I was crazy now.

"Erik, I understand you now, ok? I'm not going to run away or anything. Some people would, but I won't. I know why you're like the way that you are. And it's not a bad thing. Life sucks, but you're still alive, aren't you?"

I nodded.

"Then things are ok now. I'll help you and you'll help me. That's what it means to be in love with each other. It means we'll be there."

My shoulders sagged. "I haven't been there for you much, though."

He wrapped his arms around me. "Yes you have. You just don't know it. Remember when you first came over to my house? I didn't want to be here at all. You knew I was sad about something, and you took care of me that night. That meant everything to me. You saw that I had problems and you didn't run away from them."

I kissed him gently and cupped his cheek with my hand. "I love you, you know. I just wish I had treated you better. And, I know that I'm lucky that I didn't chase you off. I'm lucky that I have a second chance. I won't screw it up. I promise."

He smiled and gave me a hug, which I desperately needed right then. "You don't have to be perfect."

"But you are," I said.

"No, I'm not. You'll figure all this out eventually. I'm not perfect. Neither are you. That's why we work. I don't want a perfect person, and I don't think you do either."

"Damn it, you're being all smart again. That's going to get annoying over time." I laughed.

He pulled me down on top of him and stroked the back of my neck with his fingers. "Maybe. I'll just have to make it up to you."

I felt a dumb grin spreading over my face. "I guess you will."

I laid there on top of him, looking into his eyes, thinking about how much I loved him and how that is where I wanted to be for the rest of my life. All the guilt I felt was washed away again. The guilt over Ben had been cleansed the night earlier, and now my pain over making Mike suffer was fading away as I lay there with my head on his chest. All the bullshit was being peeling away from my conscience. I could be happy and content if I could just be with him forever.

He tapped the top of my head. "Hey."

I raised my eyebrows.

"Are you going to kiss me or what?"

"You need sleep," I muttered playfully.

"But I'm awake now, thanks to you. So, it's you're job to wear me out."

I rubbed his chest through his shirt. "I don't see that clause in the boyfriend contract. Better find yourself a good attorney."

He bit my ear, eliciting a yelp from me. "Guess you'll have to give up your writing plans then and get your butt into law school."

"It's a very nice butt," I said sleepily.

"It's my butt."

"Blah!"

He laughed. "What was that?"

"My response to your assumption that you own my butt."

"Your ass is mine, mister."

I lifted myself up on my arms and bent my head down. I kissed him, running my tongue over his lower lip. His entered my mouth, and I sucked it in, swirling mine around it.

"Mmm, I need this," he said, running his hands under my shirt and over my back.

"I've missed you, Mike" I whispered, kissing his neck.

"I've missed you too, Erik."

I surrendered to him, shifting until he was on top of me. I reached under his shirt and massaged his chest, pausing to twist his nipples gently. His hands wandered beneath my shirt onto my stomach. "What about your parents? Shouldn't we go upstairs?"

He groaned. "I don't want to get up right now."

I placed my hand on the hardness beneath his boxers and gave it a squeeze. "Seems like you're already up to me."

"We can do it here under the blanket. We have to be quiet though."

I leaned up and kissed his chest. "We don't want your dad or Kim walking in on us. Or worse yet, your mother." I shuddered for dramatic effect.

"Ew. No, we don't want that. Yuck."

"So, let's go upstairs, baby. We can take a shower afterwards. I'll let you play with my ducky."

"Your ducky, huh?" He groped the front of my sweats.

"Ayup," I said solemnly.

"I guess," he sighed heavily.

"Come on, knucklehead. If I have to wait much longer, I'm not going to make it upstairs. Then you'd have to clean up the mess."

"But, I don't want to get up."

With my knee, I rolled him off me, off the couch, and onto the floor. I landed on top of him. "That's what you get for being lazy, sir."

He pinched my nipple and licked at my throat. "I will get you for that, Mr. Matheson, if it's the last thing I ever do."

I nibbled on his earlobe and whispered, "You'll get a lot of things if you go upstairs."

I stood up and tugged at him to do the same. He proved obstinate. "No," he pouted.

"Yes." I started dragging him across the floor.

"All right, all right. I'm coming."

"Not yet." I smirked.

He got up and grabbed me, pulling me close for another kiss. I reached down and tugged at him again through his boxers. "I can't wait much longer, baby. I need you badly."

He undid the button to his shorts and guided my hand inside.

I wrapped my fingers around his hardness, feeling it pulse in my hand, the conflicting hard and softness begging me to forget where we were and pay attention to it. I kissed him more powerfully, pressing my lips forcefully against his. "Let's go."

He wrapped his arms around my waist and walked behind me as we headed towards the bedroom. He was poking out of his boxers, something he reminded me of every other step, as he would press against my butt. My pleas for him to behave fell on deaf ears. Walking through the house with him thrusting against me and kissing the back of my neck was proving difficult.

When we reached his room, he locked the door and pulled his shirt over his head in frenzy. In the dim morning light, I stood there, looking at him, admiring him, wanting him more than anything else in the world.

He pushed me down on the bed and almost ripped my shirt off. I ran my hands up and down his sides as our tongues entwined in passion. I pushed his boxers down to his knees and cupped his ass in my hands, digging my fingers into him, pulling him harder against me.

I flipped us over and licked at his throat, moving down the contours of his chest. I took his nipple into my mouth, lightly chewing and suckling on each one then moving down the contours of his chest and stomach.

"Do you have a condom?" I asked in between kisses.

"Oh shit, I forgot." He sat up and took my face in his hands. "We'll have to get creative."

I licked under his chin. "I'm not complaining."

He pulled my sweats down and rolled over on top of me, pressing his wet hardness against mine. He breathed heavily into my mouth, a low growl emanating from his chest. He started moving his hips back and forth. He closed his eyes and sighed.

I was completely lost in the moment, only knowing that his warm skin was under my fingers, his tongue was in my mouth, his hair against my brow and he was against me. I nibbled on his earlobe, kissed along his jaw, kissed his chest, his nose, his eyes, only to return to his lips which were the best of all.

Mike groaned into my mouth, only causing me to pull him tighter, to wrap my hands around him and nip his bottom lip as a shock wave passed through me.

He gasped as a hot torrent exploded between us, our hips bucking wildly. I latched onto his shoulders and kissed him roughly as my muscles locked.

He rolled over onto his side, his arms wrapped around my chest. We lay there for a couple minutes, letting our breath return to its normal pace, our heartbeats slow to a crawl.

He turned to me, and gave my nipple a playful twist. "So, we going to play with the ducky?"

I kissed him deeply and grinned. "Yeah, we can go play with the ducky..."

Later in the afternoon, Mike and I found ourselves in his pool engaged in a heated game of water volleyball. Surprisingly, his mother sat under an umbrella, sipping vegetable juice and just watched us. I figured she was trying to get used to the idea of her son with another guy. Even Mike's dad sat out there for awhile before being beeped by the hospital.

"You suck, methinks," I cheered sarcastically after winning a hard fought point.

"I'm just maintaining the illusion that you'll win," Mike said. He threw the ball at my head.

"Kinda makes ya wonder what illusion I'm maintaining, doesn't it?" I smiled.

"Yeah, yeah, just serve the ball so I can whoop ya."

The phone rang in mid-serve. Mike's mom grabbed the cordless in front of her.

"Is it for me?" Mike had been expecting a call all day. His impatience was starting to show.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Mary said into the phone, her gaze switching between me and Mike.

I looked at Mike, not quite understanding and not sure if his mom's tone of voice was a good or bad thing.

He looked back at me with the same expression. He was as lost as I.

"No, it's not a good idea," she repeated. Her brow wrinkled in reproach.

I started to get an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach. Mary's worried glance in my direction did little to help me. "Mike?"

He paddled over to me. "I don't know who she's on the phone with."

"Doesn't sound so good." I reached under water and grabbed his hand. The sudden quiet of his yard belied the storm clouds which must surely have been gathering.

"You think it's your dad?" He squeezed my hand in a death grip.

"I don't think so. Why would he call here? I'm eighteen. He can't make me do anything." I tried to give him a reassuring smile, but wasn't very successful.

"Don't you come over here and start your shit." Me and Mike looked at each other in shock. I had never heard his mom swear, and from the disbelief on his face I guessed he didn't hear it often either.

She turned the phone off and stared at us, the wheels in her mind almost visible in their movement. "I better give you two an early warning. Lissa is on her way over, and she's not very happy."

Mike climbed out of the pool and grabbed a towel. "Can't you talk to her mom about her? The last two times I've seen her, a fight started. We don't need her crap today."

His mom threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "I tried, Michael, believe me. Her mother thinks you're going through a phase and that her daughter will bring you out of it."

"Fucking wonderful," I muttered under my breath.

Mike glanced over his shoulder at me and winked. "Maybe me and Erik should go somewhere. At least until she's here and gone."

Mary steepled her fingers together. "With Lissa? I give you five minutes before she breaks down our front door looking for you. Or you," she said in my direction.

"Me?" Admittedly, I wasn't well versed in Lissa mythology, but I was starting to get the idea that she wasn't a person easily controlled.

"I saw her with you out here the other day. I don't know which one of you she's coming to see, but she is coming."

"Why would her mom call you to warn us if she wants her daughter to get in with me?" Mike wondered.

"Because she thinks I'll go along with the plan."

"I have an idea," I offered, getting out of the pool.

The two of them looked at each other doubtfully.

"No really. Let me take her out. I'll say Mike isn't home and get her to go somewhere with me."

"What are you going to do, kill her?" Mike said with mock hopefulness.

His mom laughed.

"Heh, as tempting as that is right now. No, I'll take her out and set her straight." I was so confident right then, that I was dead set on getting an opportunity to be with the bitch.

"Erik, I'm not so sure..." Mike began.

I took his hand in mine and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Don't worry about it. I know exactly what I'm doing."

"And what is that?" his mom asked dubiously.

I grinned. "I'll let ya know after I do it."

"Erik, I really hate the idea of this. We can just stay up in my room when she gets here and have my mom send her home." Mike was trying to undress me as quickly as I was dressing in some sort of delay tactic. So far, I had managed only to keep a pair of boxers on.

I pressed my finger against his lips and put my arm around his waist. "Don't worry. You have to trust me, ok? I know that's a lot to ask, all things considered. But, you gotta let me start making everything up to you." I closed my eyes and kissed him deeply.

He pulled away and sat on my clothes, preventing me from getting at them. "Erik, cut it out. You don't have to make anything up to me."

"I know. I want to." I did want to, but probably not for the reasons he was thinking. He thought I was doing it out of a sense of guilt for putting him through what I did. A sense of guilt figured into the equation, but the need was more a desire to make myself feel useful. I had never been useful to Mike. I had never actively done something for him.

He needed me. I knew that. But, never as much as I needed him. I was there for him that night, but that was passive action on my part. I merely had to sit there and be with him. I wanted to do something more. If removing this girl from his life would make things easier for him, then that is exactly what I would do.

"Let me do this, Mike. I promise I'll be very careful about what I say and do." I sat next to him and gave him a hug. "You trust me?"

"I'd trust you with my life." He clung to me, like I was going away on a long trip. I didn't understand it fully. I didn't understand where all this was coming from.

"Well, I wouldn't trust me that much, but it'll do for now." I nearly crushed him in my embrace. "I'm only going out with her for a little bit. A few hours at most. And then, it'll be done with."

"Why do you sound so confident?" He rested his head on my shoulder. "I'm starting to get suspicious."

"I know. It's weird isn't it? You're the confident one. I'm just borrowing your personality for a bit. I'll go back to being psycho tomorrow." He laughed a little bit, which is exactly what I needed to hear.

"You'll be back tonight?"

"I'll be back tonight."

"No wandering around?"

"Nope."

"Then I can play with your ducky?" he asked with the voice of a little kid.

"You're pushing it, sir."

"All right." He walked over to his desk. "Take this," he said. He handed me a cell phone.

"You're going to check up on me?" I felt a little distrusted, but realized that I would probably ask the same of him.

"Only if you're gone too long. And if you get stranded somewhere, then you can call me. I don't want you wandering tonight."

I took the phone from him and stared into his blue eyes, hoping he'd see into mine. Really see into mine. I was hoping that he'd see past the reflective barrier I held in front of them at all times. Maybe he'd see that I loved him and that I meant to return. I wanted him to see that I wouldn't leave him anymore, that I wouldn't run away, that I wouldn't keep him at a distance.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. There was no passion in it, no lust nor hormones, nor want nor needing, or anything else. He only wanted to touch me and I wanted the same.

Maybe he did see into me. I didn't know. Maybe he really understood me. Was I kissing him to comfort him, or was he kissing me to comfort me? Or were we kissing each other for mutual comfort?

I dressed quickly and Mike checked at least ten times to make sure I had the cell phone in my pocket. We kissed each other constantly through it all. His attitude was becoming contagious. I started to get worried myself. I was having second thoughts about what I was getting into.

"Mike, baby, it's only Lissa. It's not like I'm going out with a serial rapist."

"I'd feel better if you were. You don't know her like I do."

I still didn't understand. I didn't have time to ask more questions because the pounding started on the front door.

I leapt down the stairs and threw open the door. "Hey, Lissa! What's up?! Mike's not home. Let's go out. Bye, Mrs. Adams!" I grabbed her arm and talked so fast she didn't have time to open her mouth.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" she screamed at me, wrenching her arm from my grasp.

"I told you, we're going out. I'll drive. Mike's mom gave me the keys to the Lexus." I smiled the most fake smile I could possibly muster.

"I'm not going anywhere with you!"

I folded my arms over my chest and stared at her with a great deal of amusement. She was dressed like a tramp. Short skirt, low cut shirt and vest. Her agenda was beginning to overreach itself. "You see, Lissa, it's real easy. You don't have a choice. You're going to come out with me. We'll have a nice dinner, maybe see a movie even. And then, I'll take you home."

"You're cocky, I'll give you that. And cute too. But, I am not going with you." She swept her dark hair aside defiantly.

"I'm not going to argue with you, we're going and..." I glanced over to the curb where a yellow cab had pulled up.

"What the fuck?!" Lissa exclaimed.

She echoed my thoughts. Kyle stepped out of the back of the cab. To Lissa, it must have look like I had her surrounded.

"Kyle?" I called out, rushing towards him.

"Kyle?" Mike stepped from behind the front door where he had apparently been listening.

"Kyle, what's wrong?" I asked, my hurried walk breaking into a run.

"Erik, I...I...I can't pay the cab. Do you have any money?" He was crying almost to the point of sobbing.

"Kyle, what the fuck happened to you" A large bruise was spread out over his cheek, and hand print barely perceptible even in the afternoon soon. A red haze was beginning to form at the rim of my field of vision.

"I...I...I can't pay for the cab. I told him to take me to Erik and Erik would pay him."

"Oh fuck," Mike gasped. He ran into the house screaming. "Mom! Mom!"

I tried to hug my little brother, but he pulled away with a sharp intake of breath.

Not Kyle, I thought while my heart began a mad sprint in my chest. Please not him. Oh god, no. I didn't want to lift up his shirt, so petrified was I of what I would find there. I wanted to forget about all of that. I wanted to move past it all and leave it all behind. But, I didn't mean to leave my little brother behind. I didn't want to leave him in hell.

Gently, I lifted up his shirt. I choked on the bile that rose in my throat and closed my eyes. Somehow, I knew the image of those red welts would remain seared into my memory for the rest of my life.

Mike ran out again, almost plowing into me in his panic. "My mom is coming. She's getting the first aid kit."

"This is what you get yourself into, Michael, when you hang around white trash," Lissa muttered in the background.

I whirled around and glared at her. Without thinking, I lashed out and gripped her by the throat. "If you ever say anything close to the idea that my brother deserved this, I will personally shut your god damn mouth permanently. And that will only be the beginning of your problems with me."

"Erik, let her go." Mike took my wrist and pulled me away from her. "You listen to me, Lissa. You're going to go home now. You're never going to come near me, Erik, or anyone I know ever again. If you breathe a word of this, ever, you will pay for it for the rest of your life." His tone of voice left me shaken.

His words penetrated through her. She jumped into her little, red convertible and took of down the street without a word. Her first speechless moment in her entire life, I imagined.

Mike's mom rushing out with the first aid kit. "Kyle, honey, come here."

Kyle stared off blankly.

"He's in shock," I said to Mike's mom. "I know, because I used to get that way when...when things like that happened to me."

She guided him into the house, leaving me and Mike in his driveway.

"I'm going to kill the bastard, Mike. I am." I clenched my fists until my knuckles were white.

"Erik, calm down. We'll call the police and let them take care of it."

"Hell no. He's got this coming from me. He's stepped over the line with Kyle." My lungs started tightening with my fury.

"I thought he never touched Kyle."

"He never did. Not once. But now I'm gone. Things must've changed. I'm going to kill him. I really am."

He grabbed the car keys from my hand. "You're not going anywhere."

"Mike, I could hop in that cab right now." I remembered my promise to him. "Come with me."

"Come with you?"

"I promised I wouldn't run off anymore. So, come with me. I want you with me while I do this. So you'll see what I come from. So you'll understand everything."

He brushed his hand through my hair and kissed me on the forehead. "I'll come with you..."

tbc