Connections

My sincere apology to the people I told that chpt. 4 will be posted on Feb. It took me longer than I've expected.

PART II: Fallen Angel

Chapter 4

kiss

"Do you have to go?" I asked holding his hands tightly. He sighed and nodded. "Yeah I have to, my aunt's really sick and I'm afraid that she may not recover."

"I'm really sorry," I apologized. One week after we had our first anniversary celebration someone called Philip's family from his old hometown that told them that his aunt was terribly sick. When Philip was much younger his aunt took care of him when his parents didn't have enough time or money to take care of him. Naturally Philip wanted to go back to visit her because she was like a mother to him. How could I go against his wishes? I can't only think of myself.

He kissed me on the nose and shook his head lightly. He withdrew his hands from me and checked if he had all his bags ready. Philip whispered, "It's okay, I've grown to realize that in time we have to learn to say good-bye. She's quite old you see, old enough to be my grandmother."

I sat back down on his bed where I could smell his distinct scent. I gazed straight at the baggage full of clothing that he was holding and asked for the billionth time, "But two weeks?"

"Yeah..." Philip answered before dropping his bags quickly down on the floor and covering his face quickly. I shouldn't have said those three words. How inconsiderate of me for not giving a damn about his feelings for his aunt. I stood up quickly and placed his head on my chest and wrapped my left arm around his waist while the other around his neck. He huffed and sniffed as I slowly sat back down on the bed while he kneeled in front of me crying his eyes out. For the very first time, Philip cried in front of me. "Shhh...I'm sorry...Come on...don't cry now."

I rocked him slowly back and forth while I kissing him on his forehead. His spiked hair poked my cheeks, but I hardly noticed. It must be hard for him, thinking that his aunt who raised him for so many years might die. "You don't know how much she means to me? She was like my second mother."

I didn't say anything. There wasn't much anyone could say to help him feel better. I just hugged him tighter to let him know I was here for him. He had stopped crying but there were still tears on his face. I wiped them off when I noticed and asked calmly, "Are you going to be okay? I'll go get you some water if you want..."

"No it's okay," he said reaching up to my right hand to hold it. He opened my hand and placed my palm on his warm left cheek that I just wiped a minute ago. He closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek against my hand. "...I'll be okay if you can just stay here until I leave town...I'm sorry. I just really need to cry "

"It's alright," I placed my other hand on his other cheek and kneeled down in front of him. We kissed passionately, our tongues grinding between our lips and he groaned with pleasure. Our lips made a sweet smack once we pulled away and hugged each other. He whispered, "Thank you."

It must've been really awkward for Roel when he came in without even knocking on the door. As soon as he came in, both Philip and me looked at the door shocked since we were both hugging each other. But Roel noticed that Philip was crying and I stayed there rubbing Philip's back. Roel explained before excusing himself, "Geez...bad timing huh? Umm...Philiip, we better go if we want to get there before sunset."

"Okay...I'll be out in a minute," Philip roughly whispered. When Roel was gone Philip turned back to me and kissed me on my neck. I felt the warmth of his breath running down my back. Then he kissed me again one more time, holding onto both my shoulders for support when he stood up after he kissed me. "I....I should go down now."

We got out and saw his brother leaning against one wall with one arm trying to touch the lampshade on the ceiling. Roel was wearing shorts that went halfway down his legs and a loose black tank top that exposed one of his beautiful pink nipples. It resembled Philip's, but bigger and with a noticeable brown hair. The muscular line that went from his chest to his upper arm made me a bit nervous inside. Part of me wanted to touch it so badly. And his tanned legs with hints of hair showing made me all crazy inside. But, it kind of made me feel bad thinking like this in time when I'm suppose to feel bad for Philip. Which I do also. I looked away and patted Philip in the back.

I helped Philip carry one of his heavy bags down to Roel's car. His mom and dad were standing side-by-side looking at the three of us when we got out of the house. I started a conversation about school with Philip to confuse his parents as to why I was there, "Did you check again? Remember, you have to do all the chapters in unit 12 and 13 in Math and do all the odd problems and mail your homework to me. Make sure you check them all 'cuz you're not gonna get to take your exam which is a lot of marks. And for the project in Religion, just send me the document to my e-mail."

"Thanks Jake...note to myself, you're the greatest," he said smiling serenely. I smiled back and helped him place his bags inside the trunk. His mom said, "You two be careful now okay? And don't you boys fool around over there!"

"We won't Maw!" Roel replied back shoving his bag inside the trunk. Then his dad said, "And put on your seatbelts since you always go way beyond speed limit Roel!"

"Yeah, yeah I will," Roel replied with a hint of sarcasm. Then, when they finally managed to close the trunk, his parents said for the last time, "Send our regards to Auntie okay? Tell her we can't go since it's so busy here with everything. And don't think of going anywhere else because I'm calling tonight to check up on your Aunt and you two!"

"Don't worry we won't...hopefully." Roel rolled his eyes and pulled his car keys from his back pocket. His parents said their goodbyes to them and to me and went back inside the old house. While Philip shoved one of his small bags in the backseat, Roel came up to me. He was wearing his sun glasses that made him look really hype. "Thanks kiddo, see ya later."

At first, I thought that he had thanked me for helping to put the bags in the car but he gave a genuine look at me and I realized that he was talking about a few minutes ago when I was calming Philip down. He went to the driver's seat and lit up a cigarette. That was the only thing about Roel that disgusted me. I hoped that Philip wouldn't follow his footsteps. Philip closed the back door and soon he was facing me, with faint pink eyes. "Thank you...so much for what you did. God, I don't know why I broke down and cried."

"Like I said...it's okay. No big deal. Besides I'll always be there for you, you know that," I said remembering Leo saying those words to me at one time in my life. Without the slightest clue, he leaned forward and hugged me tight. I was really caught by surprise and it took me a few seconds to wrap my arms around him. I patted him on the back before he whispered, blowing to my ear, "I'll miss you."

"Two weeks...I can wait that long," I said while he removed himself from me. He opened the passenger door and went inside. Roel started the engine while Philip opened the window. I could barely hear him over the noise of the engine as he said, "Two weeks!"

Then he lipped "bye" before the car drove slowly away from me. He waved his arms at me and I waved back. Seconds later, after I had quit waving my hands from exhaustion, the car was nowhere in sight. Philip was gone, no more kisses for a while, no more hugs for awhile, no more feeling secure for awhile. This weird feeling came over me and seemed to originate from inside my chest as I slowly sat down on a large rock. I missed him already. I felt like running after the car wishing that I could come along to just to be with Philip, but it was a crazy idea. Besides, it was only two weeks.I could handle it.

That was the last time I saw him that month, and it was only the beginning of June.

"YAWN...Excuse me!" I covered my mouth and blinked a few times, teary eyed now. Leo snickered a bit looking outside where every living and non-living thing was being drenched from the rain. As the window he was looking through started to fog up, he finally sat down on his chair with his legs wide apart to get comfortable. "Sorry...I'm not entertaining you that well tonight huh?"

"Oh no, it's not you...didn't get to sleep last night. Couldn't sleep well," I explained rubbing my neck softly. The streetcar halted and people went inside filling up the few seats that were still vacant. He grinned and took a glimpse at me before he looked back outside through the foggy window. Something surprised me a bit; he had short dark blonde stubble that ran down from his sideburns to the end of his jaw line. He looked much manlier, but otherwise he was still handsome as ever.

"Hey Jake, Angela's coming and Clarrissa and her boyfriend Dane are coming too, are you sure you're up to it? I mean..."

"I know what you mean. I'm all right, it's not like I don't have a relationship with someone."

He shook his head turning around to show his blue eyes to me. "That's not what I meant. Well, it's related to what you said but what I really mean is that..."

He paused. I didn't wait for his explanation so I said distressingly, "Don't worry I won't break down and cry or get depressed or whatever again. Like I said I'm fine!"

"Sorry...didn't mean to upset you or anything," he said as he handed me a small candy from inside his front packet. Sucking the candy in my mouth, I apologized, "No, sorry about that, I'm just not in a good mood lately."

"Philip withdrawal?" he asked smiling bashfully. I couldn't help laughing slightly before nodding. "Yeah."

We managed to get in the mall without wetting our clothes from head to toe. Leo pulled back the hood of his GAP sweater and wiped the rain droplets off his face. He swore when he noticed that the ends of his pants were partly covered with mud, but he didn't bother cleaning them and left it there for the whole day.

We walked slowly down to the ground level food court where we eventually saw Angela's back and Clarrissa's head laying on Dane's shoulder. When Dane saw us, he nudged Clarrissa and pointed our way. Then Clarrissa looked and so did Angela who was smiling from cheek to cheek. Angela reminded me of a white lab mouse, seriously. I looked over at Leo who was smiling like he was embarrassed or something. The three of them walked towards us and Dane looked around as if we were missing something. He said in this gorgeous soft voice, "Hey...where's your friend Philip?"

I was about to throw a tantrum right there since everyone's been asking me what happened to him. But Clarrissa answered for me coldly, "Dane...weren't you even listening to me last night? I told you Philip's gone back to his hometown."

"So-rry," he said sarcastically emphasizing the second syllable. I wasn't really concentrating when they started arguing a bit. I was more surprised and couldn't help eyeing Leo who was kissing Angela; it looked really deep like he was tonging her. In all my life, I've never seen Leo kiss anyone. Not his parents, relatives, girls who fell for him, or even ME! Well...actually he kissed me, but on the forehead. It never really did occur to me until today about him never kissing anyone in front of me. From what I could see, he was a good kisser. His lips softly meshed against Angela's fragile lips rhythmically taking his time as if he was trying to gently scoop ice cream using his lips. I turned away quickly when Angela's eyes opened slightly. I didn't want to be rude or look weird or anything. Just watching Leo in action gave me a hard on! How odd is that? I never knew I had a fetish for kissing until now. Clarrissa laughed and so did Dane. "Get a room! You're embarrassing us."

I had a reason to look again. He opened his eyes as he slowly backed away. Then he looked straight at me and then towards Clarrissa and Dane who were still giggling. I wasn't giggling though, but I was smiling a bit. He was all red from his cheeks down to his neck and even his battered lips were red. I never knew Leo has this tremendous energy in him to kiss someone passionately in public and to be able to make it so erotic that it actually made me hard. Angela smacked her raw lips and pushed the few strands of hair out of her face. She smiled and said, "Sorry."

I politely smiled and gave Leo a 'what the hell was that' look. He gazed back at me innocently and threw his arm around Angela's waist. Angela then announced, "This is so cool! There's five of us, we could make our own boy and girl band! I wanna be the shy one!"

I said to myself, 'God you need to get out more!' Clarrissa rolled her eyes, which Angela noticed. Angela stared towards Clarrissa and shrugged her shoulders. I knew they'd be okay. As a matter of a fact, once Leo became Angela's boyfriend, Clarrissa started to get closer with Angela trying to know more about her. Leo mediated, "Get a grip you two dumb blondes! Wait...I shouldn't be talking...I have blonde hair too."

All five of us were laughing and the tension between Angela and Clarrissa vanished. He continued, "Anyways, let's grab some tickets before it's packed n' stuff."

I kind of felt left out. Since there were five of us and there were two couples, I was the odd man out. Leo tried to talk to me, but every time he did usually Angela answered him instead of me or she'd butt in and try to make Leo look at her. Clarrissa...well she had a good reason to not talk to me. She was so in love with Dane that everyone else was oblivious to her. I walked behind them looking around...mostly down on the floor or whatever caught my eyes...and it wasn't boys. Mostly couples who looked happy just being together. Like me and Philip.

'Two weeks,' I kept saying inside my head. I could still distinctly remember those two words. Why hasn't he come back? It's already been two miserable weeks and he's still not here. Just a simple call.nothing! Why hadn't he called to tell me he might not be back on time? I was getting irritated now, not that I wanted Philip all to myself. Couldn't he even call to say he was sorry that he'd be gone even longer than expected? I'm probably cruel to think that. His aunt is in the hospital and Philip's in despair and here I am only thinking about when he'll get back to me.

Finally someone talked to me, but unfortunately, it was the person I liked least from the quatro. Angela met this girl halfway to the cinema that didn't look pretty at all, but didn't look ugly either. She was a bit taller than Angela, and possibly as tall as me. I noticed that all the while she was talking to Angela she kept touching and playing with her long black hair. She was so into it that it looked like she was going to pull them all out! Angela giggled and both of them simply took a glimpse at me before looking at each other again. Leo was already checking out hats on one of the stands while Clarrissa and Dane were at another stand trying to check up on what their names meant. I quietly gazed at another stand where the scent of perfumed candles tickled my nose every time the breeze blew my way. Angela came up to me and said in a squeaky voice, "Hey Jake. This is Raine, and Raine this is Jake."

I simply smiled and softly said hello back to her. She smiled and looked away for a few seconds. I looked back at one of the yellow-green candles hoping that all of them would just go away. And they almost did if only Angela didn't keep on talking about how Raine used to go to my old elementary school and how she moved and went to another one. I didn't quite remember her but her jet-black hair did remind me of someone. Angela finally said, "Oh my god! I'll be back...Leo really needs to try this hat!"

I kept on looking at the candles and looked down at one of the smaller ones. Raine, with an uncomfortable sound in her tone, asked, "Sweet couples aren't they?"

"Yeah...they sure are." Of course I was saying it sarcastically but Raine didn't seem to take notice. "You like candles?"

"Oh...me? Uhh...I guess...One of my friends bought a stack of these as a surprise for a special date he had." I smiled since the friend that bought the candles was Philip and the special date was with me. I could still remember the raspberry fragrance in the air. She smiled, but I certainly didn't know how I knew she did since I wasn't even looking at her. I didn't say anything and went back to touching and looking at the candles. Leo, with Angela still clinging on, came up to us and finally said loudly, "May we cut in?"

"Oh...hey Leo. Jake was just showing me the pretty candles," she said sweetly. Leo knocked on one of the fat candles wondering if it was hollow. Raine was staring at him asking herself why the hell he was doing that. The clerk gazed at him oddly. "Cheap candles! No wonder Philip bought 'em."

"Philip?...so that's the guy who bought all those candles?" Raine asked me. I blushed and didn't know whether to nod or say no. Leo nodded vigorously, "YEP! I the last time I saw him here he was buying twenty candles. I didn't say anything to him, it was embarrassing and it looked totally stupid."

"It's not stupid Leo! I think you're the one who's stupid to say that, " I said calmly. He shook his head with his irritating voice still at peak, "I didn't say he was stupid what he did was stupid!"

"You're so mean...what he did was actually something cool and nice, and you think that it's stupid? I don't know if you're just plain dim-witted...or just fucked up in the head," I said losing every bit of temper I had thus far contained. For the first time in my life, those insults he made about Philip hurt me. It seemed like Leo was purposely trying to create a bad image of Philip to people who didn't even know him. Philip's my boyfriend! My gut felt like it was on fire and I could feel my face burning up. Leo was about to say sorry but I cut him off. "Just shut the fuck up Leo."

Everyone looked our way. I knew my face was all red and Raine saw that too. Angela tried to calm both of us down. "Boys, boys.let's not argue about candles, that's too weird you know. Besides, all I wanna do is have some fun and this is like not even close to being fun!"

The only joyous part after that was when Raine left us before we got in the cinema, and when I finally got home by myself. The rest of the time, I just really don't want to think about. Well, Leo did try to apologize before, midway, and after the movie. Pleaded is the better word. But I didn't forgive him. I knew he just didn't want anyone, especially me, to hate him. The thing is, he wouldn't give a shit if he'd made Philip the laughing stock of town. That's what I realized today. Maybe I already sensed this attitude before but I guess my feelings for him long ago blinded me from seeing these things. So we both ended up not mellow like we used to...again.

Since it was Saturday night, I knew my parents were attending some friend's party or some kind of a meeting so they wouldn't be come home 'till really late. Soaked from head to toe, I had a longing to take a long hot bath. I slowly went up to my bedroom and took off every single piece of my wet clothing. The dampness of my clothes had made me itchy and I couldn't wait to get rid of everything and just soak in the tub. So much for being economic, I used all the hot water available and finally the itchy feelings were being soothed by the heat and steam. Even my back relaxed after being sore from sitting in those cheap foam seats in the theatre.

RING**RING

I sighed. Not now! After dealing with Leo I was finally starting to relax, I didn't need this! I got up quickly, knowing that it wasn't a local call from the rhythm of the rings. Grabbing a towel, I quickly picked up and answered half mad, half tired, "Hello!"

"Hmm...hello, can I speak to Jake please?" That voice, I sighed as I slowly made my way back to the bathroom and eased into the tub. "Philip!"

"Twenty minute limit man. Enough time?" he asked in bullet speed. I giggled and sank down in the lukewarm water. "Slow down! I can't keep up with you. And yes it's enough...for this week!"

He giggled, "I miss you...so much. How are you? Do you miss me 'cuz I really do miss you, you know? And how's everyone there? Has anyone tried to hit on you? Pray to God they didn't 'cuz I would've..."

I laughed, carefully trying not to let the cordless touch the water. "Philip...I just want you to know that... even when I'm in the bathroom.don't laugh...anyway, every second I don't see you or talk to you face to face, I end up missing you. Count how many minutes there are in three weeks and multiply that by sixty and that's how many times I've missed you."

"I bet I missed you more!" he said excitingly. I giggled and sighed, "Yeah...so...how come you're all giggly?"

"Good news! My aunt's feeling a LOT better, her fever has finally broken." he said about to continue. A weird feeling came over me, not because I knew that Philip was coming back, it was something else.

"...So...maybe in a week or so...I can finally get back there and show you how much I've missed you by kissing you all day." Philip cried in the phone with as much enthusiasm as I did.

"Yeah...that's gonna be fun!" I cried splashing the water a bit. Philip whispered, "Hey...what are you doin'?"

"Oh me? Just taking a long hot bath...wanna join in?" I asked giggling slightly. He laughed, "If it were only possible? How's life without me?"

"Sucks for one thing. I was like in this really bad mood today when I went out to the movies with Clarrissa, Dane, Angela and her stupid boyfriend Leo who doesn't know a fuck about feelings," I said exaggerating a bit. He snickered, "Don't tell me, arguing with Leo again?"

"This time it's for real! I mean he's such a jerk and he's an egocentric son of a bitc..."

Philip laughed and cut me off instantly. "Jake! Enough! Don't start swearing. Seriously, you guys sound like an old couple!"

"Yeah right! Like who wants to go out with a dumb blonde like him! Look...I'm so pissed that I just don't want to talk about it." I really didn't want to talk about Leo. I hated him so much for insulting Philip that I could care less if I never say sorry for the rest of my life. "No really what is it? Don't bottle it up inside like you do all the time!"

"He...kinda insulted you again."

"So? It's not the first time or anything," he said like he didn't even care that Leo insulted him.

"That's the thing! I just realized it. To you...maybe it's a joke or an everyday thing you just have gotten used to...but to me, it hurts. And I hate Leo for it! Fuck, he knows I have feelings for you and what does he end up doing? Insulting YOU right to my face."

"Jake the thing is...the only reason why I try not to let it get to me is that...I don't want to somehow ruin the relationship between us or between you and Leo. Call me sissy but I really don't feel like it's worth fighting about if I ruin something deep here. But I guess doing nothing doesn't work either 'cuz you apparently hate him that much."

"I can never think of you as sissy. You mean the world to me Philip and I think you're nowhere near a sissy. Besides, I also hate him 'cuz I think he just wants to say sorry 'cuz he just wants to avoid conflict. He's not sorry about what he said or the fact that it may have hurt me."

"I don't think that's true. 'If it were, your whole best-friend relationship with him would be a lie. I mean...if I were him, I'd try to avoid arguments too 'cuz well...I'm just not good at that and I can't deal with the pressure. Listen...just forgive him and tell him not to do it anymore. Somehow, I know he doesn't like me or maybe even hates my guts...and you can't do anything about it, but at least you'd make him keep his jokes to himself," he said. Maybe he's right about what I thought of Leo's reason to say sorry to me. I sighed and nodded, "Yeah...I'll do it...for you."

He giggled, "I'm glad...I have to go...my friend's done cooking dinner for me and he wants my company in the kitchen. I guess he's lonely with only the cockroaches to talk with."

I laughed, "Alright...it wasn't twenty minutes, but long enough to keep my sanity. Thank you very much for calling...you made the day brighter"

"That's what I'm here for...night Jake...one more week...bye..."

"Bye..." After hearing the click of his phone I rolled the cordless on the floor, closed my eyes and laid back down in bath tub.

The heat wave was stifling and I felt like I was out of breath each time I took a step down the hallway, but that was the only bad thing about today. I just received all my final exam marks and all my marks were higher than I'd expected. All above 80's.not bad for someone who couldn't think straight for the past month. I quietly left the school by myself with my backpack full of a year's garbage from my locker, my dress shoes, some clothes, and some candies I forgot to eat. There were also some sweet notes that I saved in my pocket, like the scribbled poems on napkins that Philip wrote to me whenever he was bored or not doing anything. There were also two odd valentine cards I received from someone anonymously and some other sweet thoughtful cards from Philip.

I made it to the park and spotted an inviting bench under a tree. As I got closer, I noticed that `my bench' was filled with graffiti, but at least it was in the shade. My new seat afforded me a great view of the soccer field. Several college age guys were playing a pick up game, enjoying the sun. Their shirtless torsos seemed to be glistening as the sun reflected off their sweaty bodies. Just watching made me feel even hotter and I realized that my polo shirt was sticking to my skin. Eventually, I removed my polo shirt and shoved it inside my bag. Even though the breeze was warm and humid, it cooled me down a bit.

The birds whistled and pigeons flew above me. A pair of dogs that were a few hundred yards from me barked in my direction and a few of the soccer players gazed towards me for a few seconds. Suddenly someone leaped over the top of the bench and sat down beside me. He was panting and sweat droplets were everywhere. The awesome features of his face, the smooth semi-tanned skin, his blue eyes and his full red lips, stood out beautifully. A faint odor gave away his identity.Leo frowned as he gasped for air. His face was pink from sweat and exhaustion. That's when I noticed that he had cut his hair like Philip's. There weren't any highlights in the front though but its simplicity made it look good.

He hugged his knees as I crossed my arms and looked away. One leg of his pants was pulled up showing his defined leg and traces of growing hair. He looked at me but didn't smile. Hesitating a bit, he finally said, almost mumbling, "So...how'd u do in school?"

"Good," I answered harshly. I still looked away but from the corner of my eye, I could still see him hugging his knees and looking sideways at me. "I did bad in my math exam. Friggin' sixty percent!"

I wanted him to go away really bad, I just didn't want to deal with him right now. I was hot and tired and really didn't want his company. "Sucks to be you then."

"I know...I've also decided to go to this military camp, you know for young teens to prepare for military stuff in the future."

"WHAT?!" I turned around quickly and looked at him disgusted. He smiled peculiarly and said, "So...you do still care about me."

"Fuck you...and I don't give a rat's ass if you go in the military or not. You must be a god damn fucked up asshole just to think about going to those dumb shit places."

"Why are you being so mean to me now? I was just joking!" he asked sounding a bit hurt. I didn't actually mean those words; they just slipped out of my mouth. He's not that fucked up really, just demented. Again, I looked away but I couldn't help feeling bad at what I just said. "That's the thing. You're life's a joke."

"You're still angry at me 'cuz of what I said last week, aren't you? Is that why you've avoided me and my calls all week?"

"Ding ding ding! Congratulations."

"Look I'm sorry Jake, I really am and I didn't mean what I said. I was just teasing you!" he apologized.

"Oh don't give me that bullshit! Jesus Christ, it was like you were trying to tell the world that Philip's a god damn loser!"

"You're getting angry over nothing here," Leo complained putting his legs down.

"That's where you're wrong. You insulted him in front of me...I think I know now what you must say about him behind my back. It's like you keep on forgetting that I'm his boyfriend. How would you feel if I told everyone that Angela's a fuckin' hoe?"

"Jake...you know I wouldn't do that," he said trying to calm me down. I shook my head, "No...not anymore. I don't know how you think any more. Philip told me last week to forgive and forget...but I just can't, at least not right now. I'm really pissed at you. "

"I really am sorry," he said almost begging. I nodded, "Save it up for later...'cuz I really don't feel like hearing it right now...I'm going." I stood up and in my mind I almost thought that Leo was about to follow me, but he didn't. I turned around and saw him sitting there still hugging his knees. The straps of my bag felt wet from my sweat and for some reason my bag felt even heavier than before. I was about to tell Leo that his haircut looked good, but I didn't. All I said was, "See ya." before walking away.

I couldn't stop thinking about that short argument with Leo. I reached my house without even realizing it. When I walked in the back door my mom was cooking up something in the kitchen. I was surprised to see her at home; she's usually at work at the hospital. After exchanging greetings she looked at me oddly and asked, "Fail an exam?"

"No why'd you ask that? I scored better than 80 on all of my exams, I even made the honor roll!" I said opening the fridge to grab a pop. She smiled while the meat sizzled in the frying pan. "Good job! I expect awards next year! But still...I just can't help noticing that something's not right. You want to tell me what's wrong?"

"Mom instinct.that really creeps me out," I said waving my hands up in the air. She giggled while concentrating on cooking the meat.

"Yeah, I just had this argument with Leo about his joking around about Philip all the time. It's really pissed me off for the past week."

"I'm glad I raised a considerate son! Well don't worry about it, methinks that Leo will stop. He's your best friend isn't he? Oh! How's Philip's aunt by the way?"

"Good, good.Philip called last week..."

"Are we paying? " she immediately asked cutting me off. I laughed and shook my head while leaning against the kitchen counter. "Don't worry about it, he used one of those twenty dollar long distance card things. Anyway, he said his Aunt's feeling better now from that fever she had. It's typhoid fever, well that's what Philip told me."

"Hmm, typhoid fever?...oh dear...I'm forgetful these days. Do you remember anyone who had a typhoid fever? I'm sure someone did," she asked scratching her hair. I got weird too since I had that feeling too when Philip told me. Forgetfulness must be genetic. "You know what's weird? I had the same feeling too when Philip told me. Weird huh?"

"Like mother like...son...?" She giggled. I smiled and sipped a bit of coke. "Yeah so anyway, Philip's coming back sometime this coming week I think."

"Oh good, I kind of miss that sweet guy. Nice, quiet, but yet he's so passive don't you think? He always shies away and can't even make a conversation with me. Exactly the opposite of Leonelle...I'm sorry I forgot you hate Leo today," she said wiping sweat off her face. I shook my head and threw my pop can in the recycling box. "S'ok I really don't give a crap about that thing right now."

"As your mother I order you to make up with Leo, for one thing he's not an object, so don't call him a 'thing'...and change in five minutes because it's almost lunch time! Don't forget to set the table," she said. I groaned and hesitated since it was actually the first afternoon of summer vacation, but I still ended up setting up everything and eating with her. We talked about a lot of things since we never really get to see each other that much anymore. She doubted that Leo was really making fun of Philip so I had to tell her all the details. I tried to avoid the subject since Moms shouldn't butt in situations like this, but since she was one of those moms you could talk with and feel like she was really listening, I told her everything. Of course I didn't reveal anything about my sexuality or what was really going on between Philip and me. She chewed while asking me more questions. "So...Does Philip have a girlfriend?"

"Uhh..." I blushed and I looked down at my food and thought for a second. "Well if he does, he would have told me by now...so I don't think so. I hang out with him almost twenty four seven and I've never suspected anything like that."

"Oh...that's weird," she said. I didn't go any further than that. I was beginning to think that she might've gotten suspicious as to why in the hell Philip would buy bunch of candles. I changed the subject quickly, hoping she'd go with the flow. Fortunately she did and soon we were talking about how I'm going to spend my summer vacation. Mom said I should ask dad to teach me how to drive since I'm 15 already, but why bother since we have great subway transportation? With the rising cost of gasoline, it's cheaper to use public transportation. Besides, I'm an environmental freak. I went up to my bedroom and slept the rest of the day since I was so exhausted from the extreme heat. That was the only thing that makes summer feel like being in hell.

The heat didn't let up the next two days, if possible it got even worse! Naturally I still had chores to do for mom, like clean the whole house! I felt like butter on a hot saucepan, melting slowly under a faint flame. Is it me or did I turned REALLY dark? Maybe it's the dust! God I hate looking so dark. It doesn't match with my eye color and my hair.

It was one week after exams; I was lying down on my carpet instead of on my bed when the phone rang. I picked it up, and weakly said hello trying not to sound so exhausted. "Hmm....you know, they should fix that population sign in this town. Like...hello, there's four million people here not two million something."

For a few seconds, I didn't realize who was calling; his voice was a bit lower, and what the hell did he mean by that. By the time I understood what he had just said, I gasped and knew quickly that it was Philip! I literally jumped up and down, laughing and screaming. "Welcome back! Welcome back! GOD I missed you sooo much!!! What took you so long? You said two weeks and you came soo late! I missed you soo much! Did I say that already?!"

"Yes!" he said laughing, and in a very, very quiet voice, he said, "I missed you too. You don't know how often I screamed your name out loud in the apartment. You should've seen the face Gabe made! It was hilarious!"

I didn't give a fuck who Gabe was or if he/she knew about Philip and me. In those few minutes, all I cared about was that Philip was back. I hung up the phone and quickly took a quick shower using the sweetest perfumed soap I could find in mom's cabinet. I tore through my closet trying to find the best summer clothes I had; I was so concerned about my looks that I HAD TO take a cab just to get to his house which was only a few blocks away. I didn't want to work up a sweat walking there in this heat. Even in the air-conditioned cab I kept checking my armpits to make sure I wasn't starting to sweat.

Once I got to his house I realized I had beaten him here, so I sat down...fidgeting on his porch hiding away from the blazing sun. His mom and dad weren't home yet either and I bet they hadn't heard the news or were too busy to meet them today. I saw cars pass by that looked a lot like Roel's, but none of turned into the drive. It was taking him very long that's for sure. I'd been waiting for almost half an hour and still he's not here. I was about to give up when I saw this rusty old red car passing by. I knew it had to be them. Well, I also saw the plate number so I really knew it was them. I slowly walked forward, trying to make a good entrance without tripping or making some kind of an embarrassing scene. Philip got out of the car, not knowing that I was right there behind him. He had grown much taller! He looked like he was just about as tall as Leo. I sighed and my stomach churned when I saw him take off his shirt saying out loud how hot it was to his brother. He was DEFINETELY much more defined than the last time I saw him. He looked almost exactly like his brother...but MUCH cuter! He got the best genes.and the homosexual gene too! And he's mine!

Suddenly I felt kind of bad. He's mine, I'm going out with him, but...compared to him, my body...it's so...scrawny. Dark even. My chest didn't have the fine muscles he had; hell it's just skin and bones. His muscular legs, that nice defined back...and his hair; he was close to perfect. What I offer him? I'm weak, skinny, and my hair is getting wavy and hard to control. I turned around to go back home, scared that Philip might look at me disgusted and think to himself, 'Is this what I've been looking forward to seeing those past weeks? Yuck, what was I thinking.'

I turned around and I was about to walk away and just see him in another day when I heard his voice, faintly calling out to me. "...Jake?"

I was torn between turning around to look at him and just running away. All these weeks I have been looking forward to this day, but now I was just as nervous as I was excited. Overcoming my fear, I turned towards the voice. He was wearing navy blue shades, like the one Prince William wore. His body shimmered from the sunlight bringing back memories of those soccer players I watched in the park on the last day of school. His body was smooth and muscular. His torso tapered from his shoulders to his waist in a perfect V. His boxers were showing above the waistline of his shorts and it made him look sexy. He lifted his sunglasses and just seeing his face again made me freeze in awe. My legs wobbled; I wanted to just run and stay in the same time. His beautiful hazel eyes squinted a bit, trying to get used to the brightness. They lit up like two small crystals shining in the light. He looked at me and I could see his whole face begin to smile. His teeth looked brilliantly white next to his tanned face. I smiled back and whispered trying to act as straight as possible. "Hey...ummm....welcome back..."

All of a sudden he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around my neck. He kissed me RIGHT THERE in front of the house in public view! Right in front of Roel and anyone who may have been watching. But I didn't give a damn about it. His arms were a bit stronger than the last time he hugged me and he almost crushed my collar bone. but god...did it ever feel good to feel him touch me and to touch his skin.especially his lips. He kissed me a few times on the cheek, then on my nose and forehead before he concentrated on my lips. He said gasping while kissing me at the same time, "Damn...I missed...you...so much!"

I started giggling and tried to push him away since his brother could see, but he kept his arms around me and that's when I knew that his brother knew everything. I thought that he may have known, but now there could be no question. Roel glanced at us and shook his head and rolled his eyes. He just turned away and went back to smoking his cigarette. I wrapped my arms around Philip's waist and kissed him back. His saliva tasted like spearmint and his breath smelled kind of minty.

We were sweating like pigs but we couldn't remove our lips from each other. A month was TOO LONG! He shouldn't have left that long! I realized that it would take a lot of kisses to make up for the time lost. I was already thinking about how much fun it would be to try to make up for the lost time. His body felt so good. I loved the feeling of his chest muscles pressing against mine and wrapping my hands around his smooth warm back. "Jesus Christ! You guys can do that later you know. I mean like, hello we're in public!"

Philip laughed and stopped kissing me but kept on holding me. I thought it was Roel who had had said that but just then I heard Roel reply. "I know! Geez, there are homophobes out there you know!"

"Well soooorrrry Gabe! You're just hella jealous that I got me a boyfriend!" Philip said shouting back. He gazed back at me grinning from cheek to cheek, but I wasn't. Who the hell's Gabe? I looked at him confused and he looked at me surprised. "Oh shit! I totally forgot!"

He grabbed my arm and made me walk closer to the car where I saw someone looking at us from inside the car. He opened the window and pushed his head out. He was also wearing sunglasses, very dark with gold metal frames. He was a bit thinner than Philip, but he had the same jet-black hair. This guy had blond highlights on top however. He took off his sunglasses and his Asiatic eyes stared back at me. His dark brown eyes looked kind of scary and mysterious, but attractive at the same time. He only wore a white tank top and dark blue slim fit jeans. Is it me or is everyone wearing tank tops lately? Philip introduced me to him, "This is MY BOYFRIEND Jake and Jake...this is Gabriel. Gabe for short."

I gazed at him and knew somehow that he was one of Philip's best friends that I'd never heard off. I smiled and greeted him with a simple hello.

That's it for chapter 4. This was supposedly a two chapter but I ended up writing it really short. Thanks for reading and hopefully you liked it. I'd like to thank my editor for editing this story (which was a lot of work btw! lol!) and to my peeps at AIM (sigh...my icq isn't workin' atm...my comp hates it) for helping me a bit with suggestions like names (lol! i keep on running out of baby names!) and stuff.