Connections

Glad you've taken time to read the story! It's my first shot at this, so feel free to send me reactions, comments and suggestions. Next installment will come in mid-July. connectwriter@yahoo.com

Brad awoke just before dawn. He had slept pretty well for a few hours, but was an early riser and had something special to look forward to anyway. He loved Mike as a person with all his heart, but right now he was just a pig in rut. As one of his horny friends told him once, `hey I'm not just a human being. I'm a piece of meat, too!"

He tiptoed into Mike's room, watching him still sleeping. Covers pulled up around him, Brad now understood what an angel looked like. He just sat back against the wall, looking at his boy.

As Mike stirred a bit, Brad moved closer to the bed. Mike's face was just at the end of it, and Brad strategically put his chin on the bed next to him, He was hoping that He would be the first thing that Mike would see waking up.

Mike's eyes just barely opened, and as he recognized Brad's face, a smile came on his own.

"What a nice view to wake up to," Mike said, in a groggy voice, but smiling at Brad.

"Sleep OK, pup?" Brad asked.

"Yea. Gosh, I needed that. It'd been a while. What about you?"

"I did fine. I was on a bit of a high, and that kind of thing usually keeps me awake. But fortunately I was `lights out' in a few minutes. I was a little worried about you, so I'm real glad you got some sleep." He reached up and brushed the hair off of Mike's forehead.

After a few moments of quiet stroking, Brad sheepishly asked, "Can I come in?

Mike giggled in response as he pulled the covers over his head and tight against himself. "It depends if your intentions are honorable," said the disembodied voice from within the covers.

"Of course not," came the enthusiastic reply.

"Then come on in!" He reached over, wrapping the covers around Brad, pulling him into bed. He was desperate to feel Brad's body against his, and was a bit clumsy with the maneuver since he really had no experience moving another man's body. But neither of them cared as they easily settled in with each other in spite of the tight squeeze. Or maybe because of it.

Their boners were rubbing hard against each other, with just their boxers separating them. While Brad generally knew how to pace himself sexually, he was overcome with lust as he made contact with Mike's skin and almost shot as they touched. This was a good thing, because as it turns out he wouldn't have much time.

Mike, of course, had no experience at all with another guy. Though he was awake for only a few minutes at that point, he had such raging morning wood that he thought he would lose it as soon as they touched. He was able to hold it for a bit longer, but it quickly became hopeless.

They hugged and kissed each other with an intense hunger, each instinctively grinding themselves into the other's tight, muscled body. But only briefly. After only a few moments Brad saw Mike's face tense up and felt his body stiffen and he knew the battle was lost, for both of them. But he wanted to make this as hot as he could for his partner, and reached down into Mike's boxers to gently massage his anxious balls.

Brad bent down and planted a rough kiss on Mike's mouth, reaching down and playing with his stiff sack while grinding into Mike hard. Their bodies clumsily battled as they orgasmed together, straining muscles trying to push out every last drop of cum against the others stomach.

They continued the embrace until each of them needed to come up for air. "Brad...oh my god....that was...oh jeez....I'm sorry I shot so fast....have you?" The thoughts were random and sporadic, his mind being a scrambled mess for the moment.

Brad cut him off. "No apologies, pup. God, you're beautiful. I thought I could resist you and have some nice foreplay, but you were just too fucking much...when I saw you tense up...it was so sexy, I knew I had to be part of your orgasm...." They were both panting heavily.

He lay on his side, nuzzled up to Mike, rubbing their cheeks together. "I've never cum so fast..... I can usually control myself...but when I got in here with you I lost it. Was it good, pup? Did you like it?

"huh, are you kidding? That was heaven...." He was still panting heavily. "I think that I've been waiting my whole life for that....it was wonderful!"

"I guess it was a little fast, though...well, very fast," Mike said, giggling, "I'll try to hold onto it longer for Round 2, stud....sorry, I guess I was so anxious...."

"Hey, like I said no apologies!" Brad smiled, looking into his eyes again. "As long as you enjoyed it that's what I care about! Now that we've had our first, we can slow down a bit though...I'll teach you how to do that...there's so much out there we can do."

"Thanks, babe. I have to admit that I was a bit nervous, seeing has I don't have any experience, except with my right hand. I wanted you to enjoy yourself and have fun and not think I'm such a dork."

"Hey.....none of that shit...you were great! I was no expert when I first did it. In fact, I don't think that I did nearly for my partner what you did for me. We have our impulses, but a lot is just experience. And we're going to have a lot!"

Mike was reassured by his encouraging words, and in fact was looking forward to a whole morning of this, which put him in one of his playful moods.

"Babe?"

"Yea, pup?"

"How many guys have you actually slept with?" Mike said, as he rolled onto his side, barely staying in the small bed as Brad shifted to spooning against him.

Brad thought about how he should answer this. He had never really cared about how many, but whatever it was he didn't want to sound like the town whore. "You know, I'm not really sure....maybe a dozen or so."

"A couple dozen?' Mike asked.

"No, just a dozen or so."

Mike then rolled completely over, turned away from Brad and smiled to himself. "A hundred?

"No, I said a maybe a dozen or a few more."

"Oh wow, thousands!"

"No!" Brad yelled, catching onto Mike's teasing.

"Hundreds of thousand! When did you sleep!?"

"A dozen!! Not hundreds of thousands!" As he yelled this, he reached around and dug his fingers into Mike's defined stomach muscles, drilling into the six-pack and getting Mike giggling again.

"It's payback time!!!"

It was the reverse of the situation the evening before, as Brad had the leverage now. Mike squirmed and writhed, laughing hysterically the whole time.

"Hey....he's ticklish! Instead of continuing the tight pressure on Mike, he switched to just gently rubbing his hand against the tight stomach, dancing on the skin with his fingers. Mike was going wild with laughter.

"No! No! Stop you sick....twisted....oh, God, stop you pervert." Mike was gulping for air between laughs, but Brad just kept on with the gently stroking.

"Now...how many guys have I slept with, pup?"

"Millions! Millions! And animals, too!" He was getting near the end of his resistance, but enjoying every second of it.

It was a morning of play and fun that they would never forget, the beginning of their relationship that had overcome such frustrating obstacles. Each was aware of the treasure that they had in the other and were determined to make their partners time as special as possible.

They spent the entire morning in bed, either having sex or just laying there in each others arms, and neither left the house until early afternoon. Real life would pick up soon enough and both wanted to savor these moments as long as they could.

As they were having dinner the next day at Brad's he remembered the guy who had come up to him the night Mike had his seizure. He didn't want him to be embarrassed or concerned, but thought that he should be aware that someone there also knows about his condition.

"Hey pup, you know that night in the Architecture building when you had your seizure? One of your classmates came up to me and knew what was going on." He then related the story of speaking to Todd.

"That's strange" Mike said. "I rarely speak to my folks about it on the phone in studio, and then only quietly and in Czech. And the Czech word for it isn't anything like the English word. I don't know, I must have slipped up and switched to English. Sometimes I do that when I'm tired. But I'm usually pretty careful."

"What's he like? He actually seemed like a nice guy"

"Oh, I think he is, but I really don't know him well, he's usually been in one of the other sections. I know he's pretty smart, though, and a really good designer."

"Actually, he's gay, too. That's where he may have picked up on your lustful looks at me as I was standing there helpless." Mike said, as he gave him his own playful smirk.

"Yes, that's the easiest way to get in their pants, and you don't even owe them an orgasm, but go on with the story." Brad said, parrying Mikes jab.

"Well, we have to take a couple of semesters of structural engineering and since he does so well he kind of became the class tutor. He did this as a volunteer, which is pretty good of him. Anyway, he had to meet with one guy a lot, a pretty hot guy I should say. Well, one thing led to another, and I guess he got attracted to him and couldn't hold it in any longer."

"And he propositioned him?"

"Well, not exactly. Todd had fallen in love with him, or thought he had. He wasn't even out then. But after he told the guy about his feelings the guy just dismissed him as ridiculous and perverted."

Mike paused and looked at the ceiling. "Jeez, that must have hurt."

"What a dick! Besides being hurtful, the guy seems to have acted like gay feelings aren't serious." Brad couldn't believe it.

"Yea, that guy is a dick, and he blabbed it all over the place. Todd was obviously pretty stunned, being outed so cruelly when he was just expressing affection. I wasn't brave enough to be out yet, but I tried to be friendly with him when I could. I could have done a lot better though, especially as he has been so nice to me without me knowing it."

"He seems like a pretty strong guy, and can be pretty combative and defiant in class, especially toward the faculty. Believe it or not, a couple of them teased him about it. He put on a brave face and stood up to them, but I don't' know how he really felt."

"Maybe you should talk with him. Might not be bad to have gay ally in the class"

"You're right. He's a pretty serious and intense guy, and doesn't seem to have a lot of friends, at least in the Architecture school. I think he's popular with the gals, though, at least as a fantasy object, because he's pretty good looking himself. I think that more than a few of them were disappointed when they found out he liked dick instead of pussy."

"Anyway," Mike continued," he's been doing me a great favor, and I certainly owe him one." The next day Mike saw Todd at the other end of the studio. There weren't many others there yet, so he thought it might be a good time to approach him.

After initial pleasantries and chit-chat, he brought up the subject of that earlier night in the studio. "Todd, my friend told me that you knew about my epilepsy and were looking out for me. That was really nice of you. I wanted to say thanks."

"Oh, gosh Mike, it's nothing. I didn't do anything at all. My mom had it, so I understand what it means."

As they talked further, Mike wanted to ask him more about his mom, but Todd seemed evasive so he didn't press it.

"Luckily, you seem to be in pretty good shape. Just take care of yourself. You know, you shouldn't be in studio so late before deadlines. Hasn't your friend whipped you into shape yet?" He said this and smiled at Mike, acknowledging Brad's position in his life.

"Thanks, he does watch out for me." Mike said this with noticable pride. Not in himself, but in Brad.

"Oh yeah, and he's way cute, too! Congratulations!"

Mike blushed and smiled, tongue-tied for a moment, then changed the subject to avoid further embarrassment.

"By the way, do people still hassle you about it? About being gay? I'm sorry I didn't say anything earlier to you. I just came out myself."

"No problem, Mike. Not that I was Mr. Gay Pride before I got yanked out of the closet."

"People don't say much anymore, but it was tough for a while. I had a couple of friends with shoulders to lean on, or cry on I should say, and that helped a lot. They really pulled me through."

"That's great. Consider me a friend if you need someone to talk to, or if someone is giving you shit, OK?"

"Mike, thanks. That means a lot, guy." He paused and then looked at Mike. "Maybe we can be the Architecture School Pride Club," he said with a laugh and then a smile.

Mike acknowledged the humor, but then got serious again.

"Todd, you said your Mom had it. Have you inherited it? Is she OK? Are you OK?"

"I've had no sign of it, so probably not, at least so far. I think that children of people with epilepsy have a bigger chance of having it, but the odds are still pretty small. My mom is a long story I'd like to not get into here, if that's OK. Maybe we can have lunch this week and talk."

"That would be great. Maybe Wednesday, would that work?"

"Yea, sure. Looking forward. I'd like to talk more with you, Mike. You're one of the few people in this place with a brain that you actually use." he said, laughing again.

"Well, I don't know about that, but thanks. Wednesday it is."

"OK, buddy." With that, he got up and gave Mike a big hug. Mike was a little apprehensive at first, giving a somewhat "gay" gesture to someone openly in the studio. But then he thought of who he really was, what this guy had done for him, and that he wasn't going to hide anymore. He returned the hug tightly.

Mike and Todd arranged to meet at another off-campus dive for the Wednesday lunch. They both ordered a cheeseburger and fries. There were a lot more items on the menu, but as each was a little bit apprehensive about the conversation and they just wanted to get the ordering out of the way. Mike wanted to know as much as possible about other people's experiences with epilepsy but knew that some of this was pretty sensitive for Todd.

"Hey Todd," Mike said after a few minutes of small talk, "I don't want to pressure you at all about your mom. It's none of my business, so please feel free to blow me off. I won't feel bad or offended."

"It's no problem. I actually really want to share this with you, and with Brad, because it's important. It was just that the studio is not a good place to do it. I really do want to tell you about it."

"Thanks Todd. I appreciate it. But if it gets difficult for you, don't worry about stopping."

"OK...no problem....Well, to go back to the beginning, my parents met on the first day of class in a biology lab....."

Todd told Mike about his parent's and their courtship, how their relationship had developed and how much they cared about each other. His mother had experienced serious seizures a few times a year as she was growing up, but was basically very functional and was an excellent student in school. Her parents didn't have a lot of money for college, but she had won a scholarship and wanted to become a high school science teacher. She met his Dad, who was also on scholarship, in a biology lab. He was a pre-med major on his way to becoming a doctor.

"Mom was a very proud person, and never wanted to ask for help. Well, that works most of the time, but if you have epilepsy you don't know when you're going to need it."

"One day she took a shower without anyone around. She hadn't had a seizure in over a year, and felt pretty good about things. I don't think Dad tried to be overbearing even thought he's a Doctor, but he always insisted on being around when she did stuff in the bathroom or went up a lot of stairs. This one time she didn't think it was a big deal."

Todd sighed.

"Well, this would be the time that she would have one. She didn't get hurt in the fall at all, but her foot covered the drain, and, well..." Todd paused and cleared his throat.

"Todd, you OK?"

He pulled himself together, telling Mike he was all right, and continued with the most difficult part of the story.

"She drowned, Mike. And she didn't have to. She was too proud to ask for help, and not only ended her own life, but wiped out my Dad and me and my brother, Kurt.. Dad was so devastated that he sent us to live with my grandparents for almost a year, until he could get his life back together."

"My grandparents were great to take us in, but they were very old and struggled with me as a teenager, as I did with them. And they had their own problems dealing with what had happened to their daughter-in-law."

"Dad called a lot, and also visited, but I really missed both him and Mom. We went back to live with Dad in my sophomore year of high school, which was great. But our whole family wasn't there and wouldn't be again."

"How is your Dad now, Todd?"

"He's mostly recovered, but its taken years and I don't think he'll ever be completely over it, or thinking about what he might have done to prevent it. The same for Kurt and me."

Then Todd paused and looked at him.

"Mike, do you know why I'm telling you this?"

"Sort of, I think maybe to make sure that I take care of myself?"

"I thought you'd say that, and I think it's a pretty natural answer, but it's wrong."

"What do you mean?" Mike was puzzled.

"Mike, don't take this as lecturing about life, because I don't' mean it that way at all. What the heck do I know? You saw how I failed big-time in trying to have a relationship. But I do understand this one thing."

"You know, you do have to take care of yourself Mike, but in a lot of ways you can't and you have to admit this. Don't be too proud to ask for help. Because you need it. You absolutely fuckin' need it!" He was looking straight at Mike with an intensity that almost scared him, which is exactly what Todd meant to do.

"It isn't about you anymore, Mike. You have your parents and family, but most importantly you have Brad, and you have to think about him. I saw how he looked at you and cared about you that night, and it reminded me of my Dad with my Mom."

"If you don't ask him or allow him to give you the help you need, and something serious happens to you, I guarantee you one thing. You will take the person you care so much about, the guy who loves you more than anything... "

"...and you will completely destroy him."

After an even longer pause, Mike looked at him and swallowed hard before he spoke.

"I think about that a lot, Todd. I don't want to be a burden to anyone, least of all Brad, but there are times I know I'll need him. I just hate to ask."

"Mike, if my Mom had asked my Dad, he would have done anything for her, and happily, too, as she would have for him. I think it's a natural for responsible people who think of others to not to want to trouble them. But in this kind of situation, those people want to help you. It's not a burden and never will be. Ask him to help you."

Mike put his head down and then looked up again.

"Mike, are you OK?" Todd asked, as a stunned Mike looked back at him.

"Yea, I'm OK, Todd. I know this was tough for you, too, and I appreciate it a lot. I just need to digest it for a bit."

"I'll get off my high horse now. It's not fun talking about this, but I thought that maybe you could get something out of it. You guys seem to really care about each other, so I hope it helps." Todd had put all his effort into this, trying his best to make sure that Mike understood.

Mike reached over and squeezed Todd's hand, and Todd returned the gesture. Mike had noticed how draining it was and wanted him to know that he appreciated the effort.

"By the way, you didn't fail in love, Todd. You did what you're supposed to do and followed your feelings. There's nothing else you could have done. The fact that you did it is important. You're a good guy, and you'll find someone someday."

Todd smiled back at him. "Thanks Mike. If you and Brad would keep a lookout for me, I'd appreciate it. You're both quality guys who for sure have quality friends."

They released their grips and after a pause, each took their first bite into the now cold cheeseburgers. As the conversation had obviously been stressful for both of them, Mike wanted to change the subject and lighten the mood a bit.

"Hey, Todd, I was curious about something. Brad said you overheard me speaking about my epilepsy and that was how you knew. When was that?"

"Oh, yea," Todd said as he finished swallowing, wiping off his mouth before he answered. "Do you remember that time I had to take the make up test for the History of Architecture class, and Professor Davis made me sit at the table next to yours in the studio?"

"I do, yea. You were kind of resisting him, I didn't know why. I knew you wanted to move away from my part of the studio, but couldn't figure the reason."

"Wow, I hope that you didn't take it as an insult, because that sure wasn't why I wanted to move. It was because I couldn't help overhearing you talking on the phone. You didn't know this Mike, but I can understand Czech."

Mike suddenly straightened up. "Are you Czech, Todd? Your name doesn't' sound like it."

"That's right, it isn't, but it's actually a shortened name from my grandfather. The real family name was Kmec, K-M-E-C," which is Slovak, but became Metz. I guess he wanted to bury the Slavic stuff and be an American, or at least pass as a German-American. Anyway, remember when I told you that I spent a year or so with my grandparents, and that they were immigrants? They were real old, and lived in their little shrinking Slovak ghetto, but I did learn to understand and speak Slovak somewhat while I lived with them. And as you know, it's pretty close to Czech. My ancestors shared a country with you once, remember?" Todd laughed and smiled. "You sound a bit strange and odd to me, but I could kind of make sense out of what you were saying, even though you talk really fast."

"Once I heard you, I didn't know what to do. If I told you, you might have been hurt that someone knew, even if unintentionally. That asshole Davis could have put me anywhere, but was too lazy to get his fat ass up off his chair to check on me someplace else."

"Anyway, I thought that the best I could do was to at least use the knowledge in a good way. When I saw your friend I thought he should know that someone was looking out for you at school,"

"No offense taken at all, Todd. There was nothing that you could do, and I definitely saw how you were trying to move away. Besides, I'm glad that someone knew. It goes with all you've said about me needing help."

"Actually, Mike, you'll find this interesting. My Dad practiced in Czechoslovakia for a while, before I was born. He got a Fulbright to go to Prague, and was able to polish up his Czech. When he came back used to volunteer at the Czech and Slovak retirement homes to work with the old people whose English had drifted away."

Mike smiled at him as he finished off his cheeseburger. "Is that where you get your altruistic streak, Todd?"

"Jeez, you mean the tutoring? I don't know about that. I just enjoy it, and selfishly it helps me to keep explaining things over and over again to beat it into my own thick head." Todd was not shy about promoting his architectural agenda, but definitely did not brag about helping people, a clear legacy of his upbringing.

After starting off lunch in such a serious way, Mike was glad to lighten the conversation a bit, though the message from Todd still weighed on him heavily for the rest of the day.

The guys were planning on going back to Brad's place late that evening for dinner and then Mike would stay the night. Brad had a Queen bed, which made sleeping together a whole lot easier, plus it was a more convenient location for both of them. They hadn't worked out what their long term plans would be. Right now it was just one day at a time.

During their racquetball game earlier in the evening Brad broached the subject of Mike's lunch with Todd, but Mike said it would be better if they waited until going home because it was a pretty serious conversation. He could tell that Mike was distracted during the game, and suspected it was something about the lunch.

Brad was surprised when they didn't jump into the shower together right away. They were both pretty sweaty and tired, but Mike obviously had something on his mind and wanted to sit down and talk. He related Todd's story of this mom, and when he got the question that Todd had posed about the reason for having this talk, Mike posed the same question to Brad.

Without hesitation, he said, "you should let people take care of you and help you, Mike. Todd's mom would be alive today if she had reached out."

"I knew that would be your answer. Do you know what my answer was?" Mike said, looking up at him almost apologetically.

"Probably something like taking care of yourself in general, or getting examined regularly or something like that. Anything but letting someone take care of you," he said with a knowing sigh.

Mike looked down at the floor. "You're right. That's about what I said. And then he said that I was completely wrong. Well, not completely, I do have to take care of myself. But the point was that I have to rely on others, especially you."

He then looked over at him. "Brad?"

"Yea, pup?"

"This is difficult and kind of unnatural for me. I know that you would do anything for me, like I would for you. But there are things we need to discuss that you'll have to do for me to keep me safe. I hope it's OK."

"Of course, it is! I've been waiting to have this conversation, but didn't want to pressure you or annoy you." As he said this, he moved over and wrapped an arm around him. Mike leaned on his shoulder and started listing some of the things that Brad would need to do.

"You have to be around when I shower, or we have to change some of the fixtures in the bathroom to block out continuous flow. You might want to keep an eye on me whenever we go up or down long stairs together.....oh yea, and the motorcycle....and I'm supposed to be on this certain kind of diet but I'm not very good at keeping it...."

He went on with several more items, slowly and deliberately. The thought of hurting Brad alarmed him so much that he was willing to give up some of this independence for his own safety and Brad's peace of mind, or as much as they could hope for in the circumstances.

Brad stared into his face and smiled when he had finished. "I'm so glad your saying this. I know it's really hard pup, especially the wheels. But, you know, it means that I can come out of the closet now and not do so much on the sly."

"What do you mean?"

"I've already been listening for you in the shower. And you probably haven't noticed it, but I've been placing myself strategically whenever we go up or down stairs together. I've have to confess that I've been really nervous when you're on the bike. But I know that this is really, really hard for you." As he said this he pulled Mike even tighter against him, rubbing his chin into the hair on Mike's head.

"I've been anxious when you shower without anyone there. If you can handle it, me or someone who knows should always be around. As a starting solution, maybe we should always shower together."

"I knew you'd turn this to your lascivious advantage!" He said as he gave Brad a punch to the arm. "But seriously, I promise that I won't shower without you or someone else around. And the other things, too."

"Promise accepted. And I promise to take the best care of you possible. I know I'll be clumsy and stupid sometimes. But I'll always be there for you."

"Your never be either of those things, because you care. And don't forget, babe, I'll always be there for you, too." Mike replied softly.

He looked at Mike again and squeezed him closer, nuzzling him on the head again. The both sat still for a few minutes until Brad spoke up.

"Pup, speaking of all this, could I ask you for something, too?"

"Yes of course, babe. What's on your mind? Mike was immediately perplexed, as he had no idea what Brad was going to say. So far, it had been him who needed all the help from Brad, and he had no idea that Brad need anything from him, besides the love and companionship that they shared. But whatever it was, he would give his all to help.

He drew a deep breath. "I'm...I'm a little embarrassed asking you this. If you think I'm unreasonable, please tell me...I...."

"Babe!" Mike said, with deep concern as he raised his head up and looked at him. "Tell me, Brad, I'll do anything for you. But you have to tell me. And nothing is unreasonable."

"I....well.....remember when I told you about how my family had rejected me when I told them I was gay?"

"Yes, I do remember that. I thought it was outrageous."

"Well, I haven't told you all the details. I think I should."

Brad proceeded to tell Mike about how it was growing up, the kind detachment he felt from his parents but that it never seemed like such a big thing. They were fairly strict, but not overly so. And they seemed to take reasonably good care for him, though in a more dutiful way than anything else.

But during one of the recessions, Brad's Dad lost his job. At first, things were fine, though money became pretty tight and Brad had to do without a lot of stuff that his friends had.

"Then one day when I was 12 my parents were upset because of money. My Mom turned to me and said, "This is all your fault! We only wanted to have one, but there was a damn accident and you turned up. And you've been a burden ever since!"

"They couldn't have said anything that would have hurt me more. I always tried really hard to be a good son, and make them proud, but that took a lot out of me. I know that they had money problems, but instead of bringing us together and trying to rally the family, they basically just wanted to get rid of me."

"Maybe I just never noticed their indifference or hostility earlier because I didn't want to, but I didn't have any illusions after that. So you can imagine how that worked as a background when I told them I was gay."

"As much as I knew their attitude toward me, I wanted to give it one last try, one final effort at honesty and openness with them that might in some way give us some kind of relationship. Well, you know what happened with that. They couldn't have been meaner or nastier. I just did what I could, Mike. I tried my best. I couldn't be dishonest about who I am." Brad had slumped down, visibly shaken by telling this whole story for the first time to anyone.

Mike was stunned. How could parents be so uncaring and hostile to their own child, especially one as deserving of love as Brad.

He noticed that Mike was starting to turn red, looking like he was getting real angry. He had never seen this side of him before. " Those sons.... of.... bitches..." Mike said very deliberately with a slow voice. "They have the greatest son in the world, and they treat him like dirt...god damn them..." As he said this, he put his hand on Brad's back, stroking him up and down and pulling him close, like Brad had done for him earlier.

"I guess I feel the same way, pup, but I'm trying to put them behind me. The reason I'm telling you this is that right now I'm a little insecure about things sometimes, especially emotions and my place in the world. I try not to show it, but sometimes I can't keep it in, especially with you" It was astonishing for Mike to hear this, that his hero, the brave guy who rescued him that first night and who risked himself to make them a couple, had a vulnerable, hurting side that he had kept hidden.

"What can I do for you babe - anything!"

"Well....I don't want to sound wimpy or anything like that, like my Dad claimed about me. That's where those boxing lessons came in. But...." Brad started to falter a bit.

"You're not weak, babe. They hit you where you were most vulnerable because of your honesty, and as vindictive parents they knew how to do as much damage as possible. I don't know anyone who could take that kind of emotional attack and still be as kind and caring of a person as you."

Mike noticed Brad's reddening eyes.

"You OK, guy?"

"Yea, I'm OK. What I wanted to ask you is that, well, if you can remind me that I'm part of your life and you really care about me, I'd like that. I'll get over this Mike, and I do know that you love me with all your heart, but I really need reassurance sometimes. It's not you, it's me."

"You don't have to always say `I love you' and things like that - just give me a smile, hug, even just touch me, to remind me that you care. You know, I always feel a little anxious during the day until I get to see you, and then I get that smile. That's all I need, but I need it a little more than most people" Mike had never seen him look so shy.

"There's one other part, too. I used to try to do things for my folks, be nice, try to do things for them, just give them a hug or a welcome home. I didn't need a "thank you," just an acknowledgement there was someone who cared about them. Well, whenever I did that, they were just as cold as stone. I couldn't give love away to them, Mike. But I really want to, especially to you. So you might find me a little over the top sometime, but I just want so bad to tell you sometimes, to tell you how much I care."

Brad looked out away from him. "I hope this is OK, pup. I hope it doesn't sound like too much. It's just.....Mike, I just love you so much. I just want to be able to tell you."

Mike knew what he had to do, at least in the short term, and took command. "Look at me," he said quietly, gently putting his hand under Brad's chin and moving his head to face him.

"First, thanks for telling me this. I know it's real hard for you".

"Secondly, I don't want you to speak to your family or see them without me around. I'm not negotiating on this one, Brad. I don't care if it's a phone call or an e-mail, I want to know about it. You're very vulnerable around them, and I'll be damned if I let them hurt you again. OK?"

Mike shook his head up and down. "I know I'll need your support around them. That's when I feel the weakest."

"And lastly, I promise you that you will feel my love all the time, everyday. And to be honest, I can't get enough of you. Just to hear your voice makes feel great. But when you literally show it, well, I can't really describe it in words...I just feel alive. So bring it on!" He said laughing. He couldn't be happier in accepting Brad's affection, but was concerned about how he could repair the damage that the sadistic parents had done.