Disclaimer: Most events occurring are purely fictional and have no relation to me or any other person I know, however my life has been the basis of the character in certain ways but not many. Although the story does start out with the main character from birth, nothing explicit occurs until the character is over 18 years old. This story includes Male/Male sexual encounters and possible violent descriptions, nothing too an extreme extent though. If it is illegal to read in your country or if you are too young, then please head this warning and do NOT read any further. That last thing an author wants is for his readers to get in trouble.
Note: Considering this is my first story posted on here all feedback is requested, whether you send a message saying you loved it or just to ask a question about the story. Please do not send a "poisoned dagger" (a email which basically says stuff like "YOU'RE STORY SUCKED!!!" etc...) as it will not only be an entirely ignored email but will also only make you look less intelligent by having to hide behind harsh remarks as opposed to constructive criticism or helpful ideas. Email me at dandyflinger@yahoo.com. Thank you for reading.
Prologue:
I was born on a cold winters night in a hospital inside the greatest city of my birthplace. St. Petersburg, Russia. I however was different from my brothers and sisters, instead of staying with my mother and father and returning home I was put up for adoption. For the next 5 months I sat in a cold crib with barely any food other than powdered milk which came in a low quantity and sometimes never.
I always felt that there was something watching over me. I know it's corny but I felt like I had an angel. Little did I know the creature that was seeking my presence was anything but holy. I sat there and cried myself to sleep like all the other babies, I cried however due to the lack of this warm presence I had felt.
After my first 5 months, my life was ready to give up on me, I was so young and cold and hungry and I showed no signs of living but then my saviors arrived. It was not the warm presence I had waited for every night but rather something a little more comforting.
I was picked up by the warm hands of a 5 year old girl with the biggest warmth I ever felt radiating off of her, so innocent yet so sure on who I was. She looked up at her mother and father and instantly knew I was her new baby brother.
My new mother had fallen in love at first sight not wanting to leave without me however my father was slightly taken aback by my appearance. I had nothing to show but ribs and an overly sized head. My father in contact with his friend who was a doctor back in America had checked with him on the status and the doctor said I might turn out to be a "Special" boy. Little did they know I was special, but not in the way he thought. I was destined to be great but at a cost so high that even the most brave men would have fled from what I would have to face. Eventually my mother convinced my father that I was hers and after 2 weeks I was cleared to go to America, as I have since called it, "Home."
This is where my story begins, let me tell you about my life until the day which I would find out what my life was worth.
My mother always told me that since I was brought to America my whole family had the brightest faces when they saw me and that it always made me bright as well. Having been so young and my father's father been very old, I was around about 2 months when he died. Although I was so young I was able to feel the pain of my new family and I felt darkness creep up every second of every day. But even though tragedy had struck, my family couldn't help but smile when they looked into my eyes.
After about 4-5 months of living with my new family my mother got tired of hearing my fathers yelling and after deciding that she did not want to raise my sister and I in such a hostile environment she had filed a divorce from my father. They lived with-in 10 minutes of each other always to the benefit of me and my sister so we could still live with both our father and mother, just separately.
When I was 1 I was introduced to two of the most influential figures of my childhood, my neighbors recently born daughter and my 10-day younger nephew.
I don't remember much of my childhood only that I was very intelligent and very caring. I had never gotten into arguments I just listened and followed.
When I was 5 I was thrown into hell, otherwise known as kindergarten. It sucked since their entry exam was for you to pick the red apple or the yellow apple. I picked the red one being realistic but my nephew picked the yellow one being more creative and impulsive. Since that day we went along different paths towards different futures. I had gained an imagination and he had fallen for the literal information of our world.
"Ironic, isn't it?" I thought to myself.
I knew ever since I was young there was something different about me. I craved to be creative and artistic, so when I was six I signed up for piano while my nephew signed up for karate. We were like brothers and saw each other often considering he only lived 7 minutes away from me. Then he had a brother and that warm brotherly connection we had started to disappear. As we grew older we found similar friends but different preferences. I enjoyed the company of the girls and he enjoyed the company of the guys. Sort of ironic but not really, looking back at it now.
I was going through my childhood quite quickly and had earned a lot of friends. However, once 3rd grade rolled around things got tough. I noticed myself getting sadder and I wondered why, I asked my sister and she said it was probably the guilt of me splitting up my mother and father. As if that wasn't enough, she told me I wasn't really part of the family. My mother took the whole night explaining it to me, and I tried to remember but all I could remember was a comforting warmth and I could not make any connections to what it was.
When 4th grade came around I went into dismay. I came home crying every day. I was different and kids started to notice that. I was always energized and I was always happy and excited about whatever, that while everyone else grew up around me I emotionally stayed about 6 years old. The kids made fun of me and called me freak and weirdo and they'd tell me I was stupid and a mama's boy. Don't get me wrong I was always close to my mother just never enough to be a mama's boy. They still hurt me. Then one day a word was shouted at me that made my whole world turn upside down.
I was walking along the hallway with my best friend Nina when a kid from nowhere pushed me out of the way.
"Move!" He shouted at me although I was not really in his way and he could've maneuvered around me.
I looked back and said, "Why should I? What gives you the right to be a jerk?"
"Name calling, huh?" He replied, "Well at least I'm not a faggot!" He walked down the hall laughing with his friends at the little boy's soul he just crushed. Although I had never heard the word or knew it's meaning something broke down inside me.
When I got home I cried all night and I didn't do my work for the rest of the year due to more kids taking up the name. I became so distraught that I had to move to another school.
Here with new friends and people I had trusted I had let go of my past, which had worked for the next 2 years. However I was unable to escape the impending doom of Middle School. As I made the transition, people remembered who I was and for the next 6 years until I graduated, my life was a living hell.
My only comfort was music and the few friends I had. I had found out I was amazing at singing making it all the way to a select state level jazz choir for high school students. I had also obtained a guilty pleasure liking to a certain friend of mine. His name was Chris and although I had a girlfriend at the time, he was always there and we became close. I started to have my emotions conflict and eventually I broke up with my girlfriend since she was just added stress.
She didn't like Chris and I couldn't fathom why, ever since they first met they seemed to hate each other's guts. I had no idea why but eventually Jamie, my girlfriend, had me pushed up against my locker. She had something she wanted to say, "Listen, I know you two are good friends and all, but if you want this to work out you're going to have to tell that fag to just leave us alone and go away." She said looking completely serious about the choice of words she had said.
I was never athletic, but as a singer I had wonderful control over my voice's volume and feeling. I used this to my advantage when someone got on my nerves to freak them out to avoid physical violence. It worked most of the time. As I looked at her menacingly I asked her, "What did you just call him?" She seemed to forget who she was talking to.
Realizing her mistake she tried to cover up, "I didn't mean it like that, alright I just think he's way to clingy and he annoys the hell out of me." This time she put on an act that would've normally worked had it not been for the choice of word, and for the person she was talking about.
I stared her to death and I said, "If you don't like him you just can go piss off whenever he's around, he won't bother you if you don't bother him, I can be sure of that." I was starting to get slightly infuriated.
She looked upset and then turned into she-bitch of the night, a nickname we named her whenever nighttime came around. "Look it is either him or me, I will not make amends for his crappy attitude. WHY are we having this conversation? You should be supporting me and fixing this." She struck a nerve and she started to get infuriated as well.
With nothing more than a menacing glare I stared at her and said only two words, "Get Lost." The way I had said them brought something out in me that made her cower in fear. I had felt a certain feeling I hadn't felt in a while, not since I was reminded of who I was.
She turned and walked away but then turned around and screamed at me, "If you want to be with me you better fix this! I can't have that faggot ruining my life with you!" That was a big mistake and she started running.
I started to chase her but was stopped by a couple teachers and as she ran away I yelled at her. "Stay the fuck away from me, I don't need you and I never fucking did! If you cross me again I'll tear your head off you bitch!" Fighting against the teachers struggle was too difficult so I stopped and was brought off to the guidance office.
They told me the death threat was inexcusable but since I had no previous record and because of all the stuff they knew I was going through, they simply let me off with a stern warning.
Since we had been going out for about 2 years I couldn't help but cry at what I had done, and when I started crying Chris just held me in his arms and consoled me. I had never thought of Chris as being gay, just really loyal to his friends, which is what made me get pissed at Jamie, also since she used that word. I however knew why I had flipped out, I knew I was bi-sexual maybe even just plain old gay and hearing that word had got me riled up as if it was used against me.
I had suspected that Chris might have liked me but then I saw him making out with Jackie, Jamie's sister who couldn't stand Jamie. I had dropped the subject after that but I couldn't deny any possible feelings for him. As time went on I started to notice how beautiful he was, however I had never let anyone know, only taking the normal glance someone would take at a person.
One day Chris asked to talk to me and he pulled me into the bathroom. "Hey is it ok if I told you a secret? But you can't tell anyone!" He said staring at me with the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen.
"Sure," I said getting a little worried considering it was a week ago with what had happened and word got around that Jamie was talking about Chris in our conversation. "What's up?"
"So you know how we've been really good friends for a while right? And I am always there for you and I would expect you would be to." He started shaking and his voice was quivering.
I simply just nodded as I was trying to calm my thoughts so I didn't go out of control and say anything irrational. "Of course." I said reassuring myself of that as well.
"Well I kinda did something horrible to a really good friend of mine, and I betrayed his trust." He said starting to tear up. "The truth is I have been building up this friendship for the past year to get closer to you, and I was the reason that you and Jamie broke up."
I just stared at him waiting for him to say something else almost looking excited and anxious but trying not to. I might have been the best actor in our school but this wasn't acting to me, this was life. "How was that your fault? I didn't want to continue because of all the shit I was dealing with and she wasn't helping with any of it." I eventually said, sounding a bit angry when I said it since it reminded me of her words. I had hoped he hadn't noticed, but I had a feeling he did.
He just broke down crying and as I went to comfort him he pushed me away. "Please don't make this any harder on me, I love you. I have since I first met you and I got Jamie to hate me so much that she would break up with you, but then I saw how sad you were when you broke up with her and I felt like crap and no worse than all those people who bully you. I couldn't help but feel it was all my fault." He slid down the wall, tears flowing like a river down his face.
I just looked at him and stared for a couple moments sure what I could say to comfort him. I just walked over and stuck out my hand, which he hesitantly grabbed. I pulled him to his feet and embraced him, "It had nothing to do with you. I was tired of her bullshit anyways." I had said this to calm him down. "So are you trying to tell me that you're gay?" I asked this one with a slight pull in my voice trying to not sound anxious but to coerce him out. He started shaking violently again and he just nodded his head. I moved my lips up to his and held them in front for about two seconds, considering what I was about to do, then leaned in that final inch and kissed him. His eyes were open wide during the whole thing. After I was done he just stared at me. "You aren't the only one who has had to hide their love." I told him, giving him the most comforting look I could give.
"But I thought...." He started, when I silenced him with another kiss. This time he kissed back and as our tongues met he quickly retracted away. He smiled and said, "I never would have thought that the rumors were true."
I looked him deep in the eyes, "I wouldn't say they were true, you just are someone who catches my breath. You might be the one exception." I said, teasing him, as I walked out of the bathroom to go to my favorite class, chorus. I couldn't stop smiling and I ended up getting yelled at by my teacher since I was constantly going off pitch. I had found something dear to me and I was going to keep this feeling forever. Or so I hoped...
Thank you so much for reading the first part of my story. I know that not much has happened but this is just a set up for what's to come in the future, I have the whole thing planned out and I think you'll really enjoy it. This is all new to me and I normally only write lyrics to songs but this is my first novel and the fact that it's going to involve gay encounters, it's an even bigger step for me. Remember to email me about any questions you may have. It's going to become a science fiction story as soon as I get to chapter 2 maybe 3.