Courage to Be Me

By Cody mathews

Published on May 16, 2004

Gay

Written by : Cody Mathews - codyjmathews@yahoo.com

DISCLAIMER: The following story contains descriptions of sexual activities between teenage boys. If you are not over 18 years of age, or if you find this type of story offensive, or viewing this material is illegal where you are, then please DON'T READ IT! If you choose to read it, then please enjoy.

Part of this is based upon actual events in my life but also upon dreams I have had of how I guess I wanted my life to be. I may also take moments from things that have happened to friends of mine. or even maybe bits from movies and TV shows, so if you see something you recognise then you are prolly right and I took it from there. I'm a slow writer but I will try and write a chapter once a week. Please enjoy.

People's names will be changed to keep their identities a secret.


The Courage To Be Me!

Chapter three

I dropped my school bag on my bedroom floor by the side of the bed and sat down. All day long I had been thinking about last night, and Joseph. I had really wanted to sleep with him, but something inside me had been saying no, you're not ready. And maybe what he was saying was right and I should wait till it felt right.

It was a hot day outside and we had done sports at the end of the day. I hated showering at school. I know I should have loved it, I mean showering with all those other guys! But you could bet that I would have got hard and I really didn't want to be hard in front of those guys and have them saying anything about it. So, I used to just get dressed, leave and shower at home.

I started stripping off my school uniform. I stood naked in my room looking at myself in the mirror. Maybe Jospeh was right. Maybe I did have it all wrong in my head and maybe I didn't need to have sex to become a man. I put a towel around my waist and walked to the bathroom. No one else was home, they wouldn't be home till about 5. Neil was at a mate's and David had football. I started the shower running and waited till the water got hot enough then let the towel drop off and stepped into the hot sprays coming from the shower head.

I let the hot water rush over my body as I stood there with my eyes closed. I could see Joseph standing in front of me at the club, the lights of the club reflecting off his face - emphasising sometimes the darkness of his eyes, sometimes the shine on his hair.

I could sense myself being drawn relentlessly to indulge myself in the feelings and thoughts that were beginning to flood my body and mind as the warm water stimulated me. I slid my soapy hands over my chest and down over my smooth stomach, enjoying the feel of my hands on myself, moving them slowly down to the area around my cock - I so loved to feel my smoothness! My cock began to rise before I had even touched it! I massaged the shaved area where my hair would have been, but which I had been in the habit of shaving - I enjoyed the hairless smoothness of my body.

I wanted to give in to my growing need for release - but not here, not in the shower - I wanted somewhere more comfortable, more in keeping with the fantasy building in my mind. I wanted more than just physical release - I wanted to wallow in the images that my mind was beginning to conjure up. I finished washing my body trying hard not to over -stimulate my cock as I wanted to be able to enjoy this in the comfort of my bed. I turned the shower off, wrapped the towel around my waist again and left the hot steamy bathroom heading for my bedroom.

Closing the door behind me and crossing the room to the bed I lay down on my back and let the towel fall open. I slid my hands back over my now damp, smooth chest. Closing my eyes I tried to picture myself back in Joseph's bedroom, lying naked on his bed with him standing over me, imagining his hands running over my body making my skin tingle with his touch.

I tried to imagine it was Joseph's hands on me and not my own. Every part I touched was him touching me, every sensation I felt was not caused by my touch, but by his.

His hands lightly glided across my stomach circling around my belly button, and then carrying on down to my hardening cock. Taking a firm hold I slid my hand from the base to the head in a slow and steady pace. My body felt alive! My skin tingled with delight and the blood rushed to my cock making it swell and harden more.

I could see it all......I was lying back on Joseph's bed, his warm body on mine....his breath mingling with mine as our lips touched and our tongues entwined....as I thrust my hips upwards it was as if to meet his cock and balls - I could almost feel his hair tickling my cockhead, almost could feel my pre-cum spreading on his balls as it oozed from the end of my cock. I closed my eyes, losing myself in the sensations.

I was there, he was here, we were together - his hand on my cock, my cum building inside me, my hips gyrating, grinding into him, and his cock pushing into mine.

I needed his cum - needed to feel his hardness - needed to feel myself cumming for him, onto him, with him, and as my orgasm got closer, so did his! My imagination fixed on his beautiful cock as it was about to cum - as my hand tightly jerked my own.

My mouth opened, my head tilted back, my cock thrust over and over again into the air - and as his cock erupted over my stomach, my own spurted more strongly than ever before. I heard myself groaning, screaming almost - felt the power of my cum shooting from my hard, throbbing cock - felt it land upon my neck and chest - and, for a moment, it was his cum not mine that landed upon me and trickled warmly over my skin.

I lay for long moments enjoying the after-glow - the sensations of my body after the most intense climax I had known. Eventually, my eyes opened and drifted lazily towards the door where last night's jacket hung emptily. But, wait!. Joseph had slipped a piece of paper in my pocket as I was leaving! I had been in such a rush when I left I had forgotten about it. I stood up and walked to the jacket and slid my hand in to find the small crumpled paper and pulled it out and opened it.

His number was scribbled on it with the words 'Call me anytime' underneath. He wanted to see me again! Oh, wow! this was great! I rushed out of my bedroom still naked and into my parents' room and dived for the phone. I didn't think of the time of day, I dialled his number and waited for it to ring. Four rings and I was beginning to think he wasn't there. I was just removing the phone from my ear when I heard someone pick up.

"Hello?"

"Is this Joseph?"

"Yes, Who's this?"

"Oh!... It's Charlie... from last night... um... do you remember me?"

"Hey Charlie bear! What you doing?"

I chuckled,"Oh, nothing. I just wondered if you were doing anything... and if not... say .. well... if you wanted to... maybe we could... you know... sort of ... hang out maybe ... if you wanted that is?"

I heard a giggle at the end of the phone, "Is that what you really want, Charlie? Have you thought about it?"

Was he laughing at me?! But no, his words didn't suggest that - they suggested more that he wanted me to be sure it's what I wanted.

"Oh, yes I have, really, I just didn't know if you would be busy or not."

"Well, if you're sure, I don't have anything on, and, sure, if you want to come over that's fine with me. You remember where I live?"

"Yep, sure do," I replied trying to sound as casual as I could.

"Ok, well, come on over whenever you're ready. See you then... bye, " and he hung up.

I hung up the phone and started to walk back across my parents' room and headed for my bedroom. I'd just got to the hall-way when the front door slammed and I saw my mum standing at the bottom of the stairs. She had her back to me and I quickly ran to my room and slammed the door behind me.

"Charlie was that you? are you ok?" mum yelled as she came running up the stairs stopping outside my door.

"Yes, sorry, I didn't mean to slam the door!"

"Can I come in Charlie?"

"NO! I mean... mum, I just got out of the shower, I'm not dressed yet."

"Oh! Ok, well I'll see you downstairs when you're dressed."

"Ok... Oh, mum, I have to go out, meeting some friends from school," I lied, hoping she wouldn't be asking who, but then she never did, probably assumed it was Angel.

"Ok, that's fine, just don't be late home please," with that she headed back down to the living room.

Phew! that was close! How embarrassing if she'd seen me! I took deep breaths. I was going to Joseph's again and this time who knows what might happen!? I was smiling to myself at the thought of what was to come when I looked down and realised my cock was beginning to harden again.

Did I have time for round two before meeting Joseph?


Due to new personal commitments it may take longer for me to write and post the next chapter. Those who are on my mailing list will be informed of the next posting otherwise I am hoping I can post every two weeks.

Your comments are welcome. Please address emails subject as "Charlie"

Thanks!

Next: Chapter 4


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