DISCLAIMER: The following story contains descriptions of sexual activities between teenage boys. If you are not over 18 years of age, or if you find this type of story offensive, or viewing this material is illegal where you are, then please DON'T READ IT! If you choose to read it, then please enjoy.
Part of this is based upon actual events in my life but also upon dreams I have had of how I guess I wanted my life to be. I may also take moments from things that have happened to friends of mine. or even maybe bits from movies and TV shows, so if you see something you recognise then you are prolly right and I took it from there. I'm a slow writer but I will try and write a chapter once a week. Please enjoy.
People's names will be changed to keep their identities a secret.
The Courage To Be Me!
"So where you going with him?" Angel handed me my English book back as we packed our stuff away from the class lesson and got ready to leave the room and go to lunch.
"Not sure, but he said he wanted to talk about something really important. Angel, what if he's worked out I like him?"
"But that's a good thing right? If you like him and he likes you then why don't you two get together?"
"Well, I guess you're right, it's just that, well....well, to tell you the truth, I'm just so nervous!! What if he doesn't like me as much as I think I like him? Or maybe he's had lots of guys, whereas, me, well....you know." I hung my head slightly - I really was nervous - more nervous than I'd been when I first took myself to the club, even!
I felt Angel's arm around my shoulder,"Hey, come on, you're only going to meet a gay guy who knows you're gay too - you're not applying for a mortgage! Just take it as it comes....oops...no pun intended!" she fell about laughing - and I couldn't help joining in until my nervousness seemed to have disappeared.
Angel and I exchanged hugs as we usually did and I headed off alone towards the park where we had agreed to meet. I started off walking kind of casually, until I was out of sight of Angel and then, curiously, my pace began to quicken until I was half running - I slowed down when I got close - didn't want to seem too keen - anyway, needed to get my breath back!
I could see him leaning against the bandstand where local bands played on Sundays in the summer. The sun was behind him and I could see his outline against the pillar of the stand. My blood began to pound as I approached and his figure took shape - that face, especially as his smile developed as I approached, that long slim body that made my mouth go dry, his thighs at an angle as he leant his back against the pillar, his legs slightly apart, his feet firmly planted on the grass beneath them.
In my mind I wanted to touch him, to hold him, to press my lips against his, to feel his warmth against me - in reality, I just smiled and stopped at arm's length - too shy to get any closer without a definite sign of encouragement.
Our eyes met again - as they had the previous day at school. There was something electric or magnetic about it! I couldn't break away from his gaze, my strength seemed to desert me, and my body felt pulled towards him. In fact, I didn't actually move - I was kind of rooted to the spot. I suppose it only lasted a couple of seconds, if that, but it seemed like an age until I saw his hand reach out to my arm and he began to draw me after him as he headed for the shelter under the bandstand which was out of sight of anyone who might pass. The park was quiet, hardly anyone about except for an old couple sitting on a bench in the shade and a few mothers with babies in pushchairs.
In the shadows at the back of the shelter he stopped, turned around and leaned his back against the wall again, his legs apart and at an angle to his body. He gently pulled me into him until I was standing, stiffly I felt, between his legs, though still not touching.
I saw his mouth move and I heard his voice half whispering my name, "Charlie."
That was all he said at first. I thrilled to the sound of my name and the sound of his voice pronouncing it. I was melting - if I had any resistance, and I didn't have much to begin with, it was fading fast.
"You know I like you, don't you?" he asked, not really waiting for an answer, but gently pulling me into his body by my arms. I responded, stepping closer into the space between his legs until our crotches were slightly pressed together.
Something began to take over - my nervousness was fast disappearing. When I felt him slide his back up the wall to stand upright I moved closer; as his face turned towards mine, instinctively mine adopted the right angle so that our lips came together without any complication of noses, without any clumsiness - it was just right, perfectly natural - and he was so warm, his lips so soft.
My mouth was dry no longer. I breathed him in - and loved the smell of him. Our lips made gentle contact at first but in moments we were both pushing towards each other and I felt my mouth beginning to open slightly - hoping. At the same time, I began to push my crotch into his - and there could be no doubt from his response and from the hardness I could feel in his pants that we both had the same idea!
Suddenly, however, I thought I saw a shadow out of the corner of my eye and I jumped back to lean alongside Loxley against the wall!
The old couple were making their way out of the park. I don't think they had even seen us, never mind what we were doing - but it was enough to shake me back into reality. When Loxley pulled at my arm and turned towards me I couldn't respond this time.
"Not here!" I whispered, resisting.
My desire and my fear were making my heart pound - and I imagined that if anyone passed they would know exactly what we were doing.
"It's okay - there's hardly anyone around," replied Loxley. But just at that moment, as if to prove him wrong and to put an end to any chance that I might yield to my desire, who could I see jogging towards us in his shorts and tee? It was Alex! Oh, shit!
I stepped away from Loxley, "Come on, let's make our way back to school?" I suggested, not wanting Alex to have any idea what was going on. It was clear that he had seen me since he was looking straight at me - or at us! - as he jogged past. He hardly paused but raised his hand to wave, "Hiya!" he shouted.
"Hello, there!" I replied as he drew level and passed. I tried to look as nonchalant as I could, in truth I felt anyone who saw me would be able to see right through me!
We walked back to school together. I kept a discreet distance from him, not wanting anyone to notice anything unusual about us. But I let my arms swing by my side, as he did, and from time to time allowed my hand to swing out a little so that it would catch against his as we walked. We didn't say a lot and I avoided looking him in the eye. But we agreed that maybe it would be good to get together, maybe at his house, after school - after all, we were supposed to be working together on the project for maths - good excuse, we thought!
We arrived back at school just in time for the first class of the afternoon to start. I headed off in one direction and Loxley in another. We had agreed to meet at the gates and walk home together. As I sat down next to Angel I was bursting! I wanted to tell her everything!
"Angel!"
"Huh," she replied. We should have been doing our work in silence, but the teacher was out of the class talking to another teacher and now was a good time to tell Angel before I exploded with excitement.
"We kissed!" I quickly looked around to make sure no one else had heard anything.
"What?... Who?" she stopped and looked at me.
"Me and Loxley!" again I checked to make sure no one else had heard.
"WHAT!!" Angel said in a loud shocked voice.
"Shhhhh! god Angel, don't let everyone know."
"Sorry!" she then looked around and back at me. "You kissed him?"
"No, he kissed me.... I think....yeah, he kissed me. He made the move."
"Oh my god! Charlie! So now what? Are you two dating?"
"I'm not sure, he did say he liked me. We're meeting after school, I guess we will talk then and find out."
The rest of that class went on with Angel looking at me and winking and me making sure no one saw me winking back. I was excited about seeing him after school but also scared that he would think it was a mistake and not want anything else to happen.
When the school bell rang for the end of the day I was shaking but also sweating. This was it! I was going to be finding out what he wanted and also letting him know what I wanted.
As I walked to the gate I could see Loxley standing there waiting for me.
"Hey, you ready? We could get on with this project at mine if you want?" he said, looking at me and smiling.
"Sure, that's fine with me," a little part of me felt sad that he didn't say anything about what happened at lunch, but then I also remembered that people were walking past and might hear us if he did.
The walk to his was silent, neither of us saying much, if anything. I was hoping he would say something and let me know that things were okay. He opened his front door and I followed him into the hallway where he started to take off his coat. I looked at him wishing he would pull me close and kiss me like he did in the park. He looked up and smiled and I smiled back.
"Hey, kitty cat!" I said bending down to stroke the cat that brushed against my leg.
"Oh, that's just Cat," Loxley said walking into the kitchen.
"Cat? you called your cat, CAT?!" I asked following him.
"Yeah! We've had Cat since I was younger," he leaned into his fridge and I think he was looking for something to drink.
"But you called it Cat, couldn't you think of something else!?"
"Nah, I like the name Cat." He straightened up and faced me and started to smile. He moved closer and pulled me to him. "Now that I have you all alone...." he leaned in and kissed me.
Now that's what I had been waiting for ever since lunch! When he pulled away he just smiled.
"So, let's get started on that project, yeah?" he grabbed my hand and pulled me behind him.
As we got to the stairs Cat brushed against Loxley's leg and he looked down, "Not now, Cat, I have to go and play Doctors and Doctors with Charlie!" He turned, winked and pulled me after him.
I hope you liked it and I will start on the next one very soon. Your comments are welcome, Please address emails subject as "Charlie"
Thanks!