'Sup? I've been harassed by quite a few people lately who've been wondering what's been taking me so long. To be honest I haven't had much time since I moved at the end of last month, plus the fact that it's been the last part of the term and stuff... well that and I just haven't felt like writing, or maybe more likely, haven't been able to write. I've honestly sat down and had nothing come out. I mean, it's great that ya'll like to read this thing, but it's important to me to make sure that it's as original as I can make it and that it's at least somewhat readable.
Anyways, the legal stuff all still applies. Props go out to Jeff, Adam, and everyone else who's been totally cool in telling me what they thought.
Crazy Chapter 5
"Ry, why don't you go grab your stuff from Lance's room and then we'll go. I think I'll catch a nap before we go out too."
"Sure." I got up from the table and walked down the hall to Lance's room. I picked up the clothes from the floor and threw on my Nikes without any socks. It felt kinda weird, but it was better than wearing dirty socks.
GRABBING MY STUFF, I walked down the hall and into the kitchen where JC was waiting for me. He smiled when he saw me.
"You ready dude?"
"Definitely Josh. I think I could really use that nap right about now!"
"Tell me about it. My head's killing me."
"Geez, between your head and my back... uh, I have no idea. That's how tired I am right now!" Lance walked into the kitchen from the living room. He kinda looked tired too. He was probably just emotionally drained from this morning. I have that effect on people.
"Are you guys outta here?"
"Yeah. Thanks for everything Lance. It was just way too cool of you to let me use your bed last night."
"No prob Ry." He paused, as if he was thinking about how to say what would come next. "See ya tonight, right?"
"Definitely." I walked over to him and I gave him props. Lance walked JC and I out to the jeep and saw us off.
"JC, I'll call Lynn and tell her that I'm going to bring Just home when he feels like going back, just so you don't have to go through the interrogation when you get home. You look pretty wasted. And we all know how Lynn can be."
"And what makes you think that she won't do it anyways Lance?" JC smiled back at Lance and started the Jeep. "Thanks though, we'll catch you later, k?"
"Yeah, laterz."
JC pulled out of the driveway and I closed my eyes. I really was tired. But I had to try and stay awake until we got to the hotel. I guess the best way to do that is to keep talking, right? I mean, who can talk and sleep at the same time?
"I had an awesome time last night Josh. Thanks dude." I kept my eyes closed. I was wearing my Oakley's but, it was still too bright outside for me. Man, it must be nice to have weather like this all the time.
"No worries Ry. I had a pretty good time too, and I'm not just saying that because I was completely pissed!" We both started to giggle. "But, it really is cool that we got to meet ya. I mean, most people only want to know us because we're famous. I could totally tell that it was never like that with you. I guess I'm just trying to say that I'm really glad that you ran into Justin yesterday... literally!" I started to blush, but then I remembered that I hadn't actually ran into Just, I ran into a bench! That made me blush even more.
"You're totally right about me being a total clutz Josh, but I didn't run into Just yesterday."
"Huh?... oh, he ran into you right? He's such a total clutz."
"Nope, I tripped over a bench." I opened my eyes and pointed to the small, purple bruise on my leg. "See?"
"Ouch! That must have hurt. Sorry bro."
"Forget about it. It's totally not a big deal." I closed my eyes again. Damn I was tired. "Hey Josh?"
"Yeah?" I was starting to give into sleep already. I guess talking really doesn't help all that much.
"You don't mind if I sleep the rest of the way do you. I'm pretty much gone." I hate it when I don't sleep too well. I mean, I'm practically on the verge of being a narcoleptic. I could sleep like 14 hours every day and it would be totally cool with me.
"No you can't!" He turned to look at me and laughed. "Of course, but if you wake up in some emergency room you'll know that we got in an accident, k?"
"Hmmm... oh, yeah... right?" It was at that point my tired mind gave into the demands of the rest of my body. I could swear I had just closed my eyes again when I felt Josh shaking me.
"Hey Ryan! Wake up! I think you're too heavy for me to be carrying... besides I don't think that it would look that great."
"Huh?" I forced my eyes open. They felt like someone had tied weights onto the ends of them. "Oh yeah. I can just see the headlines... *Nsync boy caught carrying blond guy into hotel. Guess your guys' management would have fun trying to explain that one."
"Damn straight! Are you ok to walk up to your room? Do ya need me to come with ya?"
"Naw Josh, it's all good. If I need help I'll get the bell boy to throw me on a luggage cart and wheel me up there." Josh started to laugh.
"You're too funny for your own good Ry."
"I try." I gave JC props and opened the door to the Jeep. "Thanks again Josh. It's been totally cool. I'll catch ya tonight."
"All right, just do me a favour and don't rip Scoop's head off when he calls you to wake you up. I mean, it'd be ok, but we kinda need him to be intact."
"K, I'll do my best. Laterz." I slid out of the Jeep and shut the door before quickly waving goodbye and heading through the door that was being held open for me by the young guy in a monkey suit. I felt like I was floating as I crossed the hotel lobby and pressed the button for the elevator. I let out a long sigh as I waited for the door to open for me. I was not the most patient person in the world when I was tired. In fact, I was actually kinda surprised that I had been able to be completely sociable this morning. Well, if you could call that sociable.
The door dinged and I jumped. Did I mention my nerves were a little wracked too? I half stepped, half fell into the waiting elevator car and pressed the button for my floor. I was really having trouble keeping my eyes open. It felt way too familiar. All those really late nights studying for exams when I was in a half awake state; fighting to stay awake enough to read my scribbles that passed for lecture notes. As the car reached my floor I slid out and stumbled to my room, fumbling with the card that was my room key. I never understood why they called it a key if it was a card. But right now, I really didn't care. My only concern was making it into the nice warm bed...
Ring! Ring!
What the hell is that?
Ring! Ring!
Huh?
Ring! Ring!
Oh, the phone...
"Yeah, this is Ry."
"Hey Ryan. ARE YOU AWAKE???" Ow! That hurt. It's way too early in the morning to be dealing with this. "Dude! It's like 5 o'clock!" Ah hah. Now I understand.
"Oh hey Lance. I must've been really tired I couldn't even figure out that the annoying noise was the phone."
"Man, you're worse than Justin. I never thought I'd meet someone that was as much of a deep sleeper as he is. I guess I was wrong."
"Yeah, one of my friends once told me that the world could be crumbling apart and I'd sleep right through it. What can I say? I like to sleep." I finally opened my eyes and looked at the room around me. Blue. Hmmm... I love that colour.
"Anyways, I'm gonna swing by and pick you up so we can go over to Justin and JC's. Is half and hour long enough for you to get ready?"
"Uh... no, but I'll try." I've been told that I'm worse than a girl when it comes to getting ready. I guess it's pretty bad when you're 22 year old friend can get ready faster than you can. And she's got long hair. I still can't figure out how she can do it so fast.
"Ok, well how 'bout I leave in about ten, and then if you're still not ready I'll just chill in your room?"
"A'ight, sounds good. I'll try and hurry though."
"K, well, see ya in a few."
"'Right, laterz Lance."
"Yup, laterz!" That guy was way too happy. Mind you I feel like it's about 6am, even though it's 5 in the evening. I slid outta bed and stumbled into the bathroom, stripping myself of the clothes I was wearing along the way. I was shocked when I turned on the lights in the bathroom. What the fuck do they have to make the lights in the bathroom so bright? I mean, a person just needs to see what they look like, not get a friggin' sun tan everytime they go into the bathroom.
I opened the door to the shower stall and stepped in. No time for a bath. I could really use one to relax, but I just need to get clean. I turned on the water; nice and hot. I dunno why I take such hot showers I mean, by the time I get out my body's red from all the heat. Not to mention I can never see myself in the mirror cuz there's so much steam and stuff. Anyways, I grabbed the shampoo and started to scrub and then rise before putting the conditioner in. I always left the conditioner in while soaping up.
As I started washing the central part of my body, things started to heat up a little, and then all off the sudden a picture of Justin appeared in my head. My eyes shot open and I dropped the sponge. What the hell was that? You're not fucking gay! There's no way you've got a thing for Justin! Just stop it! You're going to ruin you're chance of friendship with him if you keep this up! I shook my head and very quickly rinsed off and got out of the shower, completely disgusted with myself.
As I took a hand towel to wipe the mirror I realised that I hadn't rinsed the conditioner out of my hair.
"Shit." I muttered to myself under my breath. Yet another one of my bad habits. Maybe those people who say that talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity are right. I mean, what's been going through my head lately? First that totally messed up dream and then getting a picture of Justin in my... "Oh my God." I used the hand towel to wipe the excess conditioner of my hair, before grabbing a towel and wrapping a towel around my waist; meanwhile the tears started to fall. I walked back into the bedroom and plopped myself down on the bed.
"What the hell... no!" I started to cry so hard that I couldn't see anymore. Everything was just a blur. A thousand thoughts were running through my head. 'The dream... it meant that I was... gulp different, and the picture of Justin... No! NO! NOOO!' I couldn't control myself anymore and my body fell into enormous sobs that completely enveloped me. 'I can't... but...'
KNOCK KNOCK
"Ryan? Hello?" Snif.
"Umh, just hang on a sec, k?" I quickly wiped my eyes and headed for the door. As soon as I opened it I turned my back on Lance and walked into the bathroom. "I'll be right out k? Just make yourself at home."
"K." I quickly closed the bathroom door and turned on the tap. Ice-cold. I started to splash my face and wet down my hair, seeming everything had dried in the time I spent on the bed... bed... 'no! Oh my God! I can't! Ok, take a deep breath. Everything's going to be ok Ryan. You're just going to go out with your new friends: Lance, Josh, and Just-...gulp -in. Deep breath.' I was starting to calm down a little and wiped my face off before grabbing the gel off the counter and squeezing some out onto my palm before beginning to 'plaster my head' as my mom called it.
"Hey Ryan, do you have any clothes set out?"
"Uh... huh? Oh, yeah... no."
"Woah, we're decisive today huh? Do you want me to grab something out for ya so you can get changed?"
"Uh yeah... sure thankx. My clothes are in the closet."
"Anything you want in particular?"
"Umh, my Gap sweatshirt if you could, please?" "One Gap sweatshirt coming up. Are you sure you just want to wear a sweatshirt today? Or would you like me to grab you something else?"
"Oh, sure... just grab whatever."
"K, I'll leave it at the door so you can just get changed in there."
"Thanks Lance you're the best."
"Hey! What kinda friend did ya think I was?"
"Uh, a good one?"
"Good answer!" I could tell he was smiling on the other side of the door. These guys are always smiling. Well, with a zillion girls around the world loving them to pieces without ever knowing who they really are... I guess I'd be smiling a lot too. "I'll be back in a sec."
I massaged the gel through my hair and ran my fingers through my hair to make it sorta toseled and stuff. Then grabbed the electric rasor and shaved the stubble off of my chin and neck. Afterwards spraying myself with my CK Contradiction. Then there was a knock at the door.
"Ryan?"
"Yeah Lance?"
"I'm gonna leave the..." I opened the door. I think Lance was a little surprised cuz he just stood there with his mouth half open and nothing coming out of it. "Uh... clothes..." He passed them to me. It's funny, his accent almost disappeared there.
"Thanks dude. I'll be done in a few secs k?" Lance shook his head. I'll make it a point of not trying to surprise him again. He doesn't do suprises well. Not that I do any better. I mean that was pretty nasty the way he snuck up on me last night. I'll just have to consider the score even. Even if his reaction wasn't as dramatic as mine.
"Right. Take your time k?" I threw on the blue sweatshirt while trying not to mess up my hair or get the hood wet. Then I threw on the blue GAP boxers and the tan cargo shorts that Lance had picked out for me, and then walked outta the room. And followed Lance down to his car.
*** It was dark in Justin's room as I crept across the floor to his bed.
"Hey Just?" Justin just kinda rolled over away from me. "Just, come on, you gotta get up and get ready before Lance and Ryan show up." Justin's eyes shot open.
"What did you say JC?" Even though he was awake, he was only half-alert and still sounded groggy.
"I said you gotta hurry up and get ready before Lance and Ryan get here."
"Ryan." It was barely a whisper. In fact, I'm not even sure that I heard it.
"What was that?"
"Nothing." Justin turned and looked away from me as he sat up. He was kinda staring off into space. Now I know that I must've heard what I thought I did.
"What's up Just? You know you'll feel better if we talk about it." "Umh... yeah. No, I mean..."
"Come on Justin, just spit it out."
"Well... it's just that... uh, Josh?"
"If I tell you something, do ya promise to keep it a secret?"
"J, you know I would. Come on, now I know that something's bothering you cuz you never ask if I'll keep it a secret. But don't worry bud, whatever it is I'll take to my grave k?" I smiled hoping that he'd calm down a bit.
Sigh. "K, well... it's like this: Uh... I have a,... I have a crush on," he paused and I totally tensed up. I didn't want him to notice so I took a deep breath and exhaled very slowly in an effort to relax. But, at the same time my mind was racing because I had literally no clue what he was going to say. "A guy." Another whisper, but this time I know that I heard it. I was actually kinda shocked. I mean I had never even though that Justin would, well... I mean he always was so down with the chicks. Shit. Ok, crap. Get your shit together JC and be supportive or he's gonna crumble. I looked up at him and already saw the tears falling from his eyes. There was only one thing I could say to make him feel better.
"Cool."
"Huh?" He looked shocked. I don't think that's what he was expecting me to say. His eyes just had this lost look. Kinda like the look that you see in the movies on the faces of people who have just lost the closest person in the world to them.
"Cool,... Crunk, ...whatever.. I mean what you want me to say Just. Did ya think that I'd get pissed off at you? Or that I'd tell you that I never wanted to see you again?" Just took another deep breath and appeared to be deep in thought.
"Well... I dunno. I was just... I, uh..." Justin started to cry again. "I mean, I don't want to be different. I didn't know what you were gonna say. Josh I'm so scared. I don't want to be like this, but I can't help it. I mean, it's just that he, ... uh well, I feel really good around him. It's not the same kinda cool that I feel when I'm hanging with you guys. It's like, when I was with Brittany, and we'd be like... connected, ya know?" Snif
"Yeah Just, I do know. It's cool. And ya know what else?"
"What?"
"Who gives a funk if you have a crush on a guy. I mean, it's not about stereotypes, or what other people think. If you've got a reason to have a crush on the dude, then it's all good. Just follow your heart J, and if it was meant to be, it'll happen. And if not, oh well, right?"
"Yeah, thanks..." Justin finally let a smile escape his mouth for the first time since he woke up.
"Can I ask a question though Just?"
"I guess..."
"Umh... do ya wanna tell me who it is?" Justin froze. "I mean, well I have a pretty good idea who it might be, but I could be wrong ya know?"
"Uh... well," Justin let out a nice long sigh. "Ryan." It wasn't as quiet as the other whispers, but it was almost as if he was kinda ashamed to admit it.
"Cool. Do you want me to try and set things up?'
"NO!" I jumped. Justin didn't usually raise his voice, well except for when he gets way too excited. I backed off a little from him; I really didn't want to upset him any further, cuz the guy is my best friend and I have to be there to support him. "I'm sorry Josh..." Justin had his head down, staring at the ground. I moved over to him and gave him a hug.
"Justin, it's ok. I mean, no matter what I'm going to be here for you. When you're ready to do anything, I'll be there for ya. Well as long as you want me there!" He started to giggle a little and so I released the hug, and turned to look him in the face. "Honestly though Just, this doesn't change anything. You're still Justin Randall Timberlake, and I'm still your best friend, and I'll always be your best friend. There's no other way." Justin took yet another long, deep breath, and let out a very drawn out, very soft sigh.
"Thanks Josh, you're da best."
"Hey, just like I said, that's what I'm here for."
"Still... thanks." I reached up and messed his hair up even more than it was from the bed head he had. "Hey!"
"K, well, get yourself all cleaned up. Lance called me like 25 minute ago and said they'd be here in half an hour."
Well, that's it for now... you'll get the next bit in a week or so I promise! As always, feel free to email me at crazystar@canoemai.com