Hey Guys, Long time no story huh? Sorry about that, but you will be glad you waited for it, or frustrated who knows. Now I have to thank the wonderful Miss Erin for writing this issue. I think it's fantastic and I hope you feel the same. Erin has put herself in a serious (but stable) situation in this issue so you have to go easy on her, she might not make it yet, who knows? I need to thank Dusty, Hunter, Dawn (and Chris), Sarah, AJ, Jim (sorry I haven't written in ages), my Mellie, and of course the lovely Erin. Oh and there is this coooooool story out which has been out for ages, but I only just found, called "My surprise Romance" by the wonderful Gabriella, read it or I kill you, same goes for "Temptations" by the excellent Miss Willow. So without further ado I give you...A disclaimer...
If you think I know NSYNC or that this really happened then let me know, I'm a psych student and have access to drugs that will help. This story implies nothing about Justin or Josh from NSYNC (although it's not half obvious, have a look at the two of them...definitely shirt-lifters the both of 'em) Other than that, Enjoy, Love and Stuff, AKW
Chapter 7
Justin opened his eyes and looked around. He didn't know where he was. Everything was blurry and white. He could make out a figure slumped over in a chair in the corner of the room, apparently asleep. It looked like Josh, but he wasn't sure.
Then he remembered. Josh. They had been at his aunt's house. They were kissing. Josh had told him he loved him. Justin tried to sit up, but everything hurt. His eyes had become adjusted to the light now and he realized he was in a hospital room. But why? They had let him go home, hadn't they? Everything was going to be okay.
"Josh?" Justin called out quietly. His voice sounded scratchy.
The figure in the corner opened his eyes and blinked a few times before jumping to his feet and practically running to Justin's bed side.
"Justin are you awake? How do you feel?" JC asked him, grasping his hand tightly.
"Why am I here?" Justin asked.
"You were in an accident. A pretty bad one."
"But they let me go home. We were..." Justin protested in a confused voice.
"We were what?" JC asked.
"We were at your aunt's house. And you told me..."
"It was just a dream Justin," JC replied, "you've been unconscious for a very long time."
Justin looked up at JC, astonished. Could it really have been a dream? It had seemed so real. He remembered every detail perfectly. The way JC's body felt pressing against his own, the way he ran his hands through Justin's soft curls, the way his lips felt, all warm and inviting...
"Justin?" JC asked, "are you okay?"
Justin blinked a few times and nodded. He wanted to go back to sleep. He wanted to hear JC tell him that he loved him again. He turned his head when he felt tears starting to form at the corners of his eyes. He didn't want Josh to see how disappointed he was.
JC was confused. All of his emotions were messed up. He was so happy that Justin was okay. He had never been happier about anything in his whole entire life. That little noise that Justin had made, which he figured was supposed to be his name, had woken him up completely and made his heart jump into his throat. But he felt guilty about the fact that they were fighting. And now Justin was crying and he didn't understand it. He knew he should go get the doctor, but he wanted to wait just a bit. He wanted to be selfish and have Justin all to himself.
"What's wrong Just? Everything's gonna be okay now. You're fine" JC said soothingly.
Justin wanted to yell at him that he wasn't fine. He wanted to pull JC into his arms and kiss him like he did in his dream. But then another thought dawned on him.
"What about Erin?" Justin asked, suddenly very worried.
JC looked away with an expression of deep pain on his face. He didn't want to lie to Justin. But at the same time, he didn't know if he should tell Justin the truth. Erin wasn't doing well. The only question was if Justin was stable enough to handle the news. Sure Justin was strong and he could pull himself through all of this, but when it came to the people he loved, Justin tended to worry a little too much and get over anxious. Still though, JC had never lied to Justin.
"We don't know yet. She was in a lot worse shape than you," he said softly.
Justin's tears started to flow freely now as he realized it was all his fault. He was the one behind the wheel and he was the one who had let himself get so carried away with anger.
"Josh, what have I done? I'm so stupid! This is all my fault" he said.
JC couldn't stand the look in Justin's pretty blue eyes. They were so full of pain and sadness that it almost broke his heart. He wiped the tears off of justin's face and leaned down to kiss his cheek. He stayed close to Justin for awhile, hoping it would calm him down. But JC was completely oblivious to the fact that his nearness caused Justin's already racing heart beat to speed up a few notches. Justin felt his temperature rise and his memories drifted back to the dream he had been having only a few minutes earlier. He wished he could go back to that place instead of here where everything was mixed up and wrong, where he had hurt his cousin whom he loved like a sister and where he and Josh couldn't be together.
"Justin, it's not your fault. It's not your fault at all."
"Yes it was!" Justin protested, "It was completely my fault. You don't even know what happened."
"Then tell me," JC said.
Justin tried to calm down and take a few deep breaths. But as he began explaining he got more and more worked up until he was sobbing again.
"I didn't want you to be mad at me, so I came looking for you. I made Erin come with me. We got a last minute flight. It was important. I had to tell you something important. When we got here Heather said you were at your aunt's so I made Erin come with me and we drove over and I was ready to tell you what I needed to tell you and I walked up to the door and then...then HE answered and I got mad and I ran back to the car and I started driving and Erin said to stop, and I should've, but Josh I was just so mad!"
JC put his hand to Justin's chest to make him stop. He was breathing really hard and he had broken out in a cold sweat. JC could feel the hardness of Justin's pecs as his chest heaved against his hand and he lost track of the situation for a moment as he thought of running his hand underneath the flimsy hospital gown and feeling the smoothness of Justin's chest skin to skin. But he shook his head and mentally chastised himself for letting his hormones take over in such a serious situation.
"Justin just calm down. I'm sorry I asked what happened, this isn't the time to be talking about it. You aren't well."
There were a million thoughts swirling around in his head. Like why was Justin so upset about Carl answering the door? And what was this important thing Justin needed to tell him? But above all of that, JC was extremely worried about Justin. He wanted him to get better. Everything else could wait.
JC took his hand away from Justin's mouth and smiled at him.
"You should probably sleep now. I think you've had enough excitement for one day."
"But Josh I need to explain this to you," Justin protested.
"No you don't. There's plenty of time. You need to go to sleep. Everyone's here in the waiting room. I'll go tell them you woke up and then later on when you have more energy you can see them," JC replied.
Justin yawned and realized he really was tired. Every single muscle on his body ached and his eye lids were so heavy that they were already half closed.
"Will you stay? At least until I fall asleep? And then come back. I want you to be here when I wake up," Justin said.
"Sure Justin."
"And Josh?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry we fought."
"Me too. Just forget about it, okay?"
"Okay."
JC looked down at Justin sleeping peacefully, his curls all messed up and spread out around his pillow. Even with the bruises and cuts he was beautiful. It hurt him so much to know that Justin was in pain. He wanted to help but he couldn't. He wished it was him lying in that bed. He wished it was anyone other than Justin. He wanted to rip out all those little tubes that hooked Justin up to a machine, like he wasn't even human. And more than anything he wanted to kiss those full red lips and tell Justin that no matter what happened he'd always be there and he'd make everything right again.
JC sighed and got up to leave the room. He knew he had to tell everyone that Justin was awake. His mom was worried sick. But he didn't really want to. Not because it wasn't good news or because he wanted everyone to be unhappy, but because he liked having Justin all to himself. It felt nice and good and comforting to know that he was the only one who knew that Justin was awake.
As he walked to the door he took one last look at Justin and the dried tears on his face. He remembered Justin's helpless sobbing. JC had made Justin mad. It was because of him that Justin was even in that car.
He remembered Justin's words, and they haunted him now, ringing over and over and over again in his ears:
Josh, what have I done? I'm so stupid! This is all my fault!
JC looked down at the floor and then back to Justin's sleeping form on the crisp white hospital bed.
"No, Justin," he whispered, "this is all MY fault."
OK guys and gals, there it is. What did you think? Isn't Erin a big tease? The next issue will be written by a guy (finally, no offense girls but come on...) the ever wonderful Dusty, and it should be out soon, hopefully. By the way Miss Dawn, you are on notice, get "the boys" ready with their vivid imaginations. I know everyone is going to bag me out about the "Americanised" spelling, especially after my outburst a couple of issues back, well it wasn't me so there! Miss Erin is Canadian and a wonderful Canadian at that!