Cutter's Wounds By: Jeff N (Copyright 2009-2010 by the author) Editor: Madison Cole
The author retains all rights. No reproductions are allowed without the author's consent. Comments are appreciated at...
Chapter 4 Heartache On Both Sides
Cutter turned his head to look at me. He shook it and began to speak. "Who the fuck are you? And why in the hell would or should I tell you my life story?" he asked in an irritated and sarcastic tone.
"Well, there, cowboy ... first, because I am here and I care; second, because something really is eating you and I can tell you need a friend," I replied.
"Why in the hell do you care and why do you want to be my friend?" Cutter demanded.
"Well, you can never have too many friends, and besides, I get the feeling you're a pretty good guy. You might even make a good friend ... that is, if you cut the tough guy crap."
"Fuck you, Cole. You don't know shit."
"You know, you're right--I don't know shit. But I care. You think you're the only one that has problems or has been hurt? If you won't tell me what's bothering you, then you're going to sit there and listen to my problems."
Cutter jumped to his feet and got more pissed off by the moment. He sure as hell wasn't going to take this shit from some city kid. He deserved an ass kicking. Kicking this kid's ass would at least give him some relief from the anger and pain he had been saving up inside of him.
--Cole's Point of View--
Before Cutter was in front of me, I was on my feet ready to defend myself. Cutter hit me first, knocking me down. We began rolling around the floor, with each trying to get the better of the other. It was more of a wrestling match than anything else. Cutter managed to get me in a headlock and held me there for maybe half a minute. Damn, it was beginning to hurt! I knew I had to get out of it. I was not about to let this fucker get the best of me, so I managed to free myself from that hold.
The only problem was when I got free from him, he landed a right cross to my jaw. I felt blood coming, along with pain. I was a little dizzy from the blow. Cutter got up and headed for the door. He was all the way out to his truck before he reached into his pocket and realized suddenly he didn't have his keys. I was standing in the door when he came walking back into the house, with a look of fire in his eyes. "Give me the damned keys right now," Cutter demanded.
When he finished saying it he was standing right in front of me. I had enough of his shit. I cocked my right hand, and before he knew it, Cutter was laying on the ground holding his jaw. Blood was also seeping from his lip. "You ain't getting the fucking keys back until you tell me what the fuck is going on, got it? I don't care if we have to beat on each other all damned night."
He sat there on his ass for a minute and then started laughing. I could not help myself and a laugh escaped my mouth as well. "What the fuck is wrong with us? We are almost adults," he laughed out. Cutter extended his hand to me. I helped him to his feet and we went back inside. We both quickly rearranged the furniture we had displaced by our little show of male dominance.
We both returned to our seats on the couch. "How far did you expect to get without your keys or your shoes, Cutter?" I laughed.
"Listen, smart ass, if I were you I would shut the fuck up," he said as he wiped some remaining blood from the side of his mouth.
"So, tell me what's eating you? It has to be something pretty large."
"Man, I know you're trying to help and all, it's just really some stuff I need to handle on my own. No offense. Just back off," Cutter replied.
"Listen, Cutter, if it's a matter of not trusting me, I will share with you what's been eating away at me this past few months," I offered.
He didn't really respond or answer. He just sat there, so I continued. "Three months ago I lost my best friend to a move across the country. His name was Randy. We were close ... we shared everything. There was nothing we didn't know about each other. When he told me he was leaving, it ripped me apart inside, and it still hurts like hell. I have not found anyone to replace him in my life, and I don't know if I ever will. I have to move on. I think you're going through something the same as this and you really need a friend to help you start to move on. I have a feeling your parents can't move back to Wyoming," I guessed.
"Maybe you would understand, but if any of this gets back to my parents or other people around school, you're in so much trouble! Your ass will get the biggest kicking it has ever received. I guess I have really been an ass to my parents for the last six weeks since I found out about the move. And I guess for that matter, I have been a bigger ass to you. You didn't do anything. Maybe you're right. It might be good to get some things out in the open and maybe you are just the person to listen," Cutter concluded.
He took in a deep breath. "Cole, you have no idea how hard this move has been for me. All I have known is the country way of life, so to speak. I just don't know if I can handle living in this damned place. I know my dad couldn't help but take the job in the city. We couldn't keep going the way it was--we would have been broke and out on our asses. So now we are semi-rich, I guess." Cutter took a big drink of the remaining mixture in his glass.
"I shouldn't be upset I know, but all my friends are gone ... they are all back in Wyoming. We did everything together. I am not like city people. I was used to getting up at 4 a.m. and doing chores, taking care of the horses and the cattle we had. When I needed alone time, I just went out back and there was a thousand acres of land I had all to myself, aside from a few jack rabbits and some coyote. I don't do team sports; my sport was rodeo. You don't have that here. Then there was Blaze. He was like your Randy. We did everything together. He knew me better than I knew myself, I think. I just don't know if I can find friends and fit in. I look at the clothes you wear and it's not me. This is me. What the fuck do I do? Tell me, how do I live in this place?"
"Cutter, I know it can't be easy. Any move is hard, but you know what? You're strong and you will make it through this just fine. You will do just fine in the city, as you call it. So, maybe you sleep in to 5 a.m. and stay up an hour later at night, or even work your way up to sleeping till six! I am afraid I can't help you with the horses and cattle all that much, but maybe if you wanted to ride, we could find a stable and rent you a horse for a day. I don't know, but we will find a way though it. I will agree with you, though, about the city and having nowhere to have open space. I think your county sounds beautiful--in fact maybe even a place to stay or visit one day. I feel your pain with Blaze. Your parents sure pick some cool names for the kids in Wyoming! But I've got to tell you that you're dead wrong about one thing that you have said," I finished.
He looked up at me with a look of bewilderment on his face. "What are you talking about?"
"You already have one friend here in the city. I hope that I can teach you to live in this city."
Cutter just smiled. "I guess you're right. Thank you, Cole. I am really sorry for being an ass."
I reached out my hand and placed it on his knee, rubbing it gently. I said, "It's all right, but I have credit for the next time I am an ass." I could tell the touch made him tense up slightly, but he didn't pull away. Then I got that damned tingling feeling again.
"Deal."
I laughed at him. I started wondering to myself what might lie in the future.