Dad and Me

Dad And Me by Pete Brown petebrownuk @ yahoo.com

Read all of Pete's stories at groups.yahoo.com/group/petebrownseroticstories

Part 31

The board meeting was a fiasco. Although there were men there in the pay of the big investors and institutions, there were one or two who understood that if they supported me, their future would be really rosy. They'd almost defected when I wasn't there, but once they saw me, and Tony, and Miles, and did some calculations in their heads, their votes went my way.

I didn't even bother to discuss it with the traitors, but they knew their days were numbered - no more promotions, no more salary rises, their departments "reorganised" away from underneath them, their secretaries reassigned and replaced by near illiterates... I suspected I'd have their resignations within a couple of months at the most.

We went into my executive suite and I broke open the Bollinger. It was somehow eerily silent in there without my secretaries and executive assistants, and as we sat looking out at the city, I toasted the two men. "I owe you both, big time", I told them. "We know each other well enough not to be shy about asking for a reward."

It was Tony who leapt in - he was never shy. "Money, boss. Just more money. Double my salary or something, or an exceptional bonus - I've been hit badly by the trading results as you've gone for that long term strategy - I kind of rely on those two hundred percent bonuses..."

"If only I could, Tony, but it's the Compensation Committee that sets executive salaries..."

"Bullshit!", he laughed. "Of course it does, formally.... But everyone knows you control it, even though you're not allowed to sit on it yourself. So I'll expect a two hundred percent bonus, irrespective of the bank's results."

I nodded, smiling. Tony was so loyal, but so interested in money. "And you, Miles?"

"Oh, nothing, Steve. I was just doing my job."

"Miles, stop this false modesty. Everyone wants something in life, and I enjoy making my friends happy..."

"No, honestly...."

Tony cut in "That's the problem with Miles, Steve. Those parents of his on that huge estate in the Hamptons... And that massive apartment on Fifth.... He's got more than enough money as it is."

Miles gave a slow smile as, unlike Tony and me, he did come from a wealthy background. "Oh no, Steve, you can't reward me just for doing my job. But I have been thinking that some of the bank's policies are wrong - currently, for example, we don't support political parties. And I've been wondering whether that's not a rather 'last century' view. It occurs to me that there might be many advantages in swinging the bank behind one or two key politicians...."

"Advantages for the politicians, or the bank?", Tony cut in, laughing.

Miles sounded hurt. "The bank, of course. And the politicians too, though - campaigns these days are so expensive. My cousin, who's planning to run for the Senate, tells me...."

Both Tony and I burst out laughing. "So the bank should throw itself into your cousin's campaign?", I asked, "Isn't that illegal, or something?"

"Oh, there are ways around it - we are a family of lawyers, after all, Steve... You know that!"

We opened another bottle in celebration, then decided we'd make a night of it and I ordered the limo to take us all back to the apartment for dinner - and maybe another game of poker!

The champagne had had it's usual effect of lightening our mood, so we were laughing uproariously when we got home. Tony and Miles then almost fell over with laughter as they saw Jeff - true to our bet he'd put on is loincloth, but he hadn't been expecting Tony and Miles to return with me! At first he tried to cover himself with his hands, then stammered that he was going to change, but I told him to stay as he was "...and I promise we won't pay strip poker", I added.

All evening as we ate, Miles and Tony getting drunker and drunker, Jeff looked more and more miserable as the two men kept making remarks about his body, and about how lucky I was to have this piece of manflesh around the place. "Can I change my mind, and have Jeff, instead of that bonus, Steve", Tony even asked at one point, and then he and Miles roared with laughter.

At some point Tony's cell went off, and he muttered a few words into it, and about ten minutes later a slave announced that "Mr Billy" was here. Tony and Miles rushed over to him as he stood by the door, slapping him on the back and congratulating him on the fine job he'd done. I hadn't seen Billy for some time, and in those few months he'd certainly "matured", as young men often do at eighteen or nineteen - he'd lost the look of a "boy" and was now decidedly a "man" - a fit, active, alert young man whose clothes suggested the excitement of his body even though there was no overt display of his muscle. I found myself wishing that he had been enslaved, and that I'd come across him in the slave market - Tony was a really lucky guy to have that in bed every night.

He sat there, sipping a beer, and looking vaguely uneasy at the sight of the two half-drunks, and nearly naked Jeff. I went over to him, and handed him a cheque.

"Billy, I can't thank you enough. This ought to help..."

"Mr Masters, it's fifty thousand dollars!" I saw Jeff look completely startled, as this was the equivalent of five years wages, before taxes and stuff, for him.

"Yes, Billy. A young man ought to have some money not controlled by his dad. I know Tony's a good guy, but if you ever want to quit, at least there's no danger of you being on the streets, destitute... and then enslaved."

"Hey, Steve - quit interfering!" Tony sounded belligerent now.

"I'm not interfering, Tony. But think about it - would you rather have Billy with you because he wants to be, or because the alternative is enslavement?"

Billy got up and went and sat on the couch beside Tony. The contrast between the blond, slim young guy in the prime of youth and dark, swarthy, well-built Tony was startling. But Billy put his arm around Tony's neck, drew him down and kissed him deeply on the lips. "Dad - I'm never going to leave you, you know that.... I don't want Mr Masters' money. I'd rather be a slave to you, dad, than free anywhere else..."

He kissed Tony again, and Tony's big arm went around the kid to hug him, and his other hand rested on Billy's crotch. I saw Jeff watching all this, not only the overt way that the two men were so affectionate with each other, but seeming to replay the words they'd used about slavery, and being together.

"Hey, Billy, lighten up! Any you, Tony! Miles and I are getting a hard on, watching you two start foreplay. And poor Jeff's embarrassed - he's not into guys loving each other", I called out. And then I went on "Look, Billy, I'm sorry - I thought I was doing the right thing...."

"Oh you are, Steve! Fifty K is fifty K, and free of tax!", Tony burst out, and we all laughed, but I went on "But I'd really like to do something for you - what you did for me was fantastic, and one good turn deserves another."

"Well, sir, there is one thing...", Billy began hesitatingly, and when he saw my nod of assent, went on "I'm struggling a bit at Columbia, sir. I've made the football team, but most of the other guys played at their fancy high schools, and I need coaching, and building up.... I was wondering if I might use your slave, sir - dad's told me about how you've been getting back into shape, and it certainly seems to be working...."

That was the second time he'd called Tony "dad", even though there was no blood relationship between them, and somewhere, deep inside me, it struck a chord of loneliness: I'd never have a kid cll me "dad", I knew. I missed Joe, and almost thought about ordering the jet to take me down to Manderleigh there and then, but stopped, as I thought of all the chaos there would be to clear up at the bank the next day as the resignations started to come in - I just had to be there, to cement my position absolutely in place, and ensure all my protégés and supporters were promoted. But as these thoughts were going through my mind, I saw Jeff looking really angry, and about to say something foolish.

"Jeff isn't a slave, Billy. He's a free man. I just hire him as my personal trainer."

Billy looked confused and embarrassed, and stammered "I'm sorry... When I saw him like that, dressed as a slave..." He turned to Jeff, and went on "Sorry, sir.

But could I hire you, as Mr Masters does? I've got some money now?"

I think Jeff was so pissed off at having been mistaken for a slave as I'd made him wear the loincloth that he'd have gone and worked for Billy, even though the kid was only nineteen. But I didn't give him the opportunity, and cut in "Sorry, Billy, but he's got no time. I have exclusive call on Jeff's working day - when we're not working out together, he's 'on call' in case I need him. He'd have to work out a long notice period before he could work for you..."

"Mind you", I went on, "I'm going to be really busy in the next month or so... And Jeff doesn't really have enough to do anyway. I tell you what - you can hire a couple of hours a day of his time from me, provided yo use them here in the gym at this apartment, or down at the bank in the gym there, and the pool - I don't want him coming up to Columbia in case I need him." I changed my tone and said "That's no problem for you, is it, Jeff? You can keep up with a fit young guy like Billy here?"

Jeff just glared at me and mumbled "If you say so, sir."

"Yes, Jeff, I do say so. So that's all fixed, then - you two can work out the arrangements together."

Well, as it happened, the huge reorganisations in the bank triggered by the "resignations" of the traitors kept me really busy for a month, and I just didn't have the weekends spare to get down to Manderleigh. Business Week had me on the cover, though, saying "Masters masters the bank", which I thought was quite good. Whatever happened at the office, though, I always made time for my regular runs and workouts with Jeff, as I was determined to keep improving my fitness.

Jeff was quite often even more silent than usual over dinner at the apartment, and there seemed to be a lot of calls and so on from Billy, which I put down to the way that college kids keep changing their arrangements and so on. One day, though, as we finished a swim in the pool late in the evening we sat on the side, dangling our legs in the water, and waiting for our breathing to recover, I reached out and touched Jeff's left ribs, just above the belly.

"Hey, what's this? This bruise?"

"Oh, nothing, sir. Just an unfortunate fall, with Billy. He wanted me to teach him more about wrestling - I'm so worried about forgetting myself and really hurting him - I am a trained killer, you know, even though you sometimes forget it, sir - that I sometimes pull the holds too much and then he can really lay one on me. He's very tough and strong."

I took a closer look at him, and then broke into a smile. "And those bruises on your neck, and shoulders? You must do some unusual wrestling... They look more like teeth marks to me..."

Jeff sat there and looked really miserable. "Hey, Jeff ,what's the problem? You can tell me, you know..."

He remained silent for so long I thought he was not going to speak at all, and then he began, murmuring and stuttering at first, but then getting faster and louder, as if some dam had burst inside him.

"Look, I didn't start it. But you know how it is, when you're wrestling - close bodily contact. And then Billy started to want to practice after we'd swum, so we were both in Speedos... And he started to touch me, rather than get me in conventional wrestling holds. And I found I didn't mind, after a bit - he's a nice kid. Then one day he tried to kiss me, and I pushed him away, but he's a persistent little bugger and the more we wrestled, the more he tried to get his hands in my Speedos and his tongue down my throat. I knew it was wrong, sir, as he's Tony's boy... But one day he grabbed my dick and started to jerk me off, and I liked it... And I didn't stop him, sir. And after that, well, every day he wanted to jerk me off, and then he wanted me to jerk him off, and he began kissing me, and playing with my nips... I knew it was wrong, sir - I don't like sex with other guys. And he was Tony's boy, I know. Every day, in the showers, it's worse than those niggas down at Manderleigh, sir - he's all over me... And I find myself responding. Then one day, when we were all slick with shampoo, he suddenly bent over in front of me and grabbed my dick and rubbed it up and down his ass.... And it was the sexiest thing that had ever happened to me, and I shot all over his back. We laughed and laughed, but the next day he picked up where we'd left off, and he pushed me back against the wall of the shower, and pushed himself back onto my dick.... So I fucked him - I couldn't help it, as the way his ass gripped my dick felt so good. Then that night when I went to fuck one of the nigga bitches here, sir, I couldn't get it up. It's all wrong, sir - I don't like sex with men, and anyway, he's Tony's boy..."

I was truly astonished, that all this could have been going on around me and I hadn't noticed; but then, I had been exceptionally busy. I was in two minds about it, though: I wanted Jeff's ass, and it was going to be a whole lot easier now. On the other hand, I was pissed off that Billy had got there first - I'd been looking foreword to that. Still there's no point being upset about things that have already happened, is there? Move on, that's my motto.

"Jeff, you're wrong: Listen to yourself... You keep telling me you don't like men, and yet you enjoy Billy's hands on your dick, and fucking his ass... It sounds to me as if you do like men, you like men very much! Look, don't feel badly about it - it's just that you never recognised it before. A lot of guys go into the forces as you did, because you like guys, like being with them, working with them, sharing their lives in the way that only soldiers who are risking their lives together can - but you don't recognise that that's the reason, or don't like to admit it to yourself.. I'd say that anyone who becomes a soldier really does like men, but because of all the rubbish that they read in the papers and see on TV, they think it' somehow 'wrong'. So you get a lot of guys marrying and so on, and it becomes the kind of 'macho' thing to do, to fuck women, even though, and you can't even admit it to yourself, you'd rather be with your buddies."

"Billy's a nice kid, and he's fortunate to have found out what he really likes so early on, so he doesn't waste his life. I can quite see why a fit, young, cute-looking guy like him would be a real turn on! And I suppose he's got that persistence and exuberance that only the young have, where he keeps trying until he succeeds - a lot of guys give up, the first time someone says 'no' to them. As you've discovered, a lot of men can't help but say 'no' because of their conditioning, but with patience they get to realise what a whole lot of fun sex really is - proper sex, that is, with none of that 'breeding' nonsense."

"And I shouldn't worry about him being with Tony - the night after the boardroom putsch, Tony seemed to be pretty relaxed about Billy going with other guys at Columbia. If you ask me, I bet he enjoys Billy telling him about the guys he's been with as they're cuddled up together in bed. It's probably a huge turn on for Tony to know that Billy, with his looks and body, could have the pick of the crop at Columbia - or a real stud like you - but likes to go back to Tony every night."

"But I was always taught it was wrong, sir... The bible says that sex is between two people, one man, and one woman...."

"For fuck's sake, Jeff, you really are thick sometimes! You're a nice guy, and I know you're not stupid, from the conversations we've had in the past. So how can you believe all that twaddle in the bible?"

"Well, it's the word of God...."

"Says who?"

"The bible says, sir..."

"Jeff, you're pointing out that classic philosophical thing, a self-referential rule set! The bible says something, so it must be true, as the bible says that everything in the bible is true.... Come on, man, think for yourself! Do you really believe people walk on water, do the alchemist's trick of transmuting one thing to another - it's hard enough to do this even today with vast amounts of energy and tiny amounts of pure elements changing to another, let alone enough water and wine for a whole set of drunken wedding guests - rise from the dead, get judged by mythical creatures with wings fluttering around in somewhere they call heaven - where exactly is that, anyway? Inside or outside the orbit of the moon, as it's meant to be in the sky somewhere....?"

"No, of course not... A lot of that stuff was made up to suit the times..."

"Like the idea of sex with men, proper sex, being wrong, suited the times? And have the times changed? Come on, Jeff, you can't say the bible is right and use it to worry about one thing, when you're happy to ditch a whole lot of the other stuff."

I was getting agitated now, and went on "Anyway, how can something that gives so much pleasure possibly be wrong? And even if you do buy all the god stuff, why would a god make it so much fun to jerk off with another guy? If your dick's only for breeding, why would jerking off be the fun it is? And why would guys like their nips played with? And why is an ass so perfectly designed to take a dick, and why is it that fucking ass is so much better than fucking a bitch? Come on, Jeff - think! Either there is no god, in which case your concerns are rubbish. Or there is, and he's designed you to have sex with men. Either way, you've been missing out, big time, up until now."

He looked at me, that slow smile coming over his face.

"Sir, even after all this time, I don't know if you're bullshitting or not! I've watched you battering your opponents down so often when you've been ending meetings and I've been waiting for you, and I can never tell if your arguments are real, or just put together on the spot to dazzle and amaze them, so they can't think of a reply."

"Perhaps you need to get to know me better, Jeff...", I murmured. I put my face close to his, put one hand behind his head to exert that subtle control to stop him pulling away, and kissed him - at the same time letting my other hand fall to begin worming its way into his Speedos.

I cancelled an important formal dinner engagement that night as once we'd started, I didn't want to stop. We sat close together in the limo as we drove back to the apartment, and once there I waved all the slaves away as I took Jeff's hand and led him up the stairs to the bedroom floor. It seemed to me to be less threatening to Jeff if we went to his room, rather than my suite, and as we went in there was that sensual, tingling smell of "male" from Jeff's clothes that were strewn about the place - I knew from observing him via the security cameras that he was so busy fucking the niggas usually that he didn't care if they did their jobs properly, or not.

If you're like me, helping each other undress is part of the pleasure of sex, and we were soon totally naked together, arms wrapped around each other, legs intertwined so that our dicks were pressed close, and we were kissing passionately. After some minutes ,when we'd ran our hands over each other, jerked at each other's dicks a little, sucked and bit at our nips, and generally worked ourselves up into a sexual frenzy, we fell backwards onto the bed. We lay there, and Jeff started to play with my dick and me with his, and I believe he thought we were just in for another mutual jerk off session. But after all this time waiting, I wanted him, wanted him totally. I kissed and stroked his dick over and over, so that Jeff just lay there, eyes closed, moaning, and he quite forgot about playing with me, until he shot his load and it lay there in a creamy white pool on his belly.

He half sat up then, kind of laughing, and just saying "Wow!" over and over, as he let his fingers play with his cum. I took some on my fingers and reached down and began to push up between his legs, then, as it's much more difficult the first time if the guy is on his back, I tugged at him to turn over onto his belly.

He lay there on the bed, the tan of his body contrasting wonderfully with the pale green of the bedcover, and rested his head luxuriantly in his folded arms, as he'd done when sunbathing at Manderleigh - he was like a beautiful animal, that needs to rest after sex!

Look, I don't want to bore you with all the details. Jeff liked my finger sliding in and out of him, lubricated with his cum. And he seemed to like feeling my body all against his as I lay on top of him and nuzzled his ear and whispered to him about what a great guy he was. But when I pulled his butt up into the air, and gently pressed his shoulders down onto the bed to position him for fucking, he at first began to say, quietly, "No, Steve, no, please...."

He obviously knew what the game was, and I really never understand why so many men say no when they mean yes! I went slowly and carefully, though, at first just separating his butt cheeks so that I could tickle his asshole with the tip of my finger. Then I knelt between his legs so that I could run my dick up and down his ass crease - always a difficult one, don't you find? It's hard not to cum there and then, if the guy has a great ass, as Jeff does! It took a whole lot of patience, and a lot more "No....", from Jeff before I was finally in, and that first time I didn't fuck him hard - it was all slow and sensuous, as I very, very slowly pulled out and then slid back in equally carefully. Still it didn't matter: I was so on edge at getting what I'd wanted for so long, that it was all over much too quickly anyway.

Lying there on top of him afterwards, my dick still buried in him and with Jeff's head once more resting on his folded arms, I kissed his shoulders several times (try it - not a lot of guys know that the shoulders are a real erotic site), and whispered "Your first time?"

"Yes, sir...."

"Jeff, I think that at least in the bedroom, you might call me 'Steve', OK?"

"Oh, Steve... It was fantastic..."

"Hey, don't think it will be like this every time! You know me - I'm really good at what I do, and this was the sex for virgins experience. Next time it's got to be more about what I like, so expect it to be a whole lot rougher.... But I think you'll like that, too... Most men like a strong, controlling guy to take charge of them and give them a real pounding."

"What makes you think there'll be a next time, Steve? And I'm a strong, controlling guy, too..."

"Oh there'll be a next time, Jeff. You've discovered what it's all about now! And you're physically strong, and you're pretty dominant when we're out exercising.... But you'll find I don't take dick."

We might have gone on debating this, but the bedside phone rang and the screen lit up and there was Billy, in running kit. "I'm in the lobby, Jeff...."

Jeff almost pushed me off - not a good idea when your dick is up his ass - and said "I've got to run with Billy tonight, I forgot..."

"I'm paying you, Jeff. Forget Billy..."

"Steve, it's not fair - the kid's got a big match this weekend... He needs to be at the peak of fitness..."

"Life isn't fair, Jeff. But I tell you what - running isn't the only exercise, you know." I reached over to the phone, flipped the house switch, and told a slave to go down and fetch Billy up from the lobby and bring him to Jeff's room.

He came in a couple of minutes later, and stood looking in amazement at Jeff and me, sprawled on the bed which was now slimed with cum and crap (one of the advantages of having a house full of slaves is that all this stuff can be cleaned away afterwards as you have a drink, so the bed in nice and clean when you want to retire that night). He stood there in his "free man" long running shorts, but I could see his erection tenting the front, even so.

"Get that kit off, Billy", I told him. "Jeff has some other exercises for you this evening."

Billy didn't even hesitate, and what followed was a revelation to Jeff, I'm sure. Billy's young butt was just so appealing, and I insisted that Jeff tried fucking - it was almost like the old days again, as I had to almost "introduce" Jeff into Billy as in the stud barn, and kneel behind him with my hand on his hips, guiding him in and out. The whole thing was such a turn on - especially having Jeff's butt constantly thrusting back into me a I knelt there - that as soon as he'd finished with Billy, I really had to have him.

It turned out that Billy was a bit of a squealer - you know, those guys who like to make a lot of noise when your dick penetrates them? He'd been quite silent when Jeff was fucking him as Jeff was going so gently as he was scared of hurting Billy in some way, but I had a more urgent, more desperate need and fucked the kid properly and hard. Even though I pushed his face down into the bed to muffle the noise, I could see Jeff looking really worried as I thrust away and Billy kept shouting "no... You're hurting... no, Steve, please...." Jeff needed to learn that some guys always say no when you want to fuck them, even though, secretly, they're longing for it.

Afterwards, as all three of us lay together, I could see that Jeff was still worried about going with Billy. So I thumbed the phone and when Tony's face appeared, I widened the view to show him how we were. "Stop watching those porn films, Tony", I called out, "...and get your ass over here. It's barely nine o'clock and I'm sure even young Billy doesn't have to go to sleep yet!"

I just don't think Jeff had ever realised how much fun four men can have together, and when we finally kicked Tony and Billy out, he and I sat there in the ruins of his bed, looking at each other.

So, Jeff... Convinced? I'd thought about buying you a bible for Christmas, but perhaps that would be a waste of money now?"

He smiled that lazy, sexy smile of his, and just shrugged. "Steve, so, OK, you usually win when we bet and stuff. Perhaps I ought to give up."

"Yes, but you win when we're out training, Jeff. So what are we going to do now?"

"Uh?"

"Well, here we are, and it's bed time. Are the slaves going to come and change this bed for you, or are you going to come and sleep in my suite?"

"I don't know about sleeping with guys, Steve..."

"Oh, come on - you must have spent most of your adult life sleeping with guys in the barracks..."

"But not in the same bed! I keep telling you, we didn't do things like that."

"And I don't believe you, Jeff. A bunch of horny, fit guys, all living together, and there was no jerking off, no fucking? Come on! I think what you mean is that you didn't do it. What a wasted life you've had - all those tough, horny soldiers to fuck, and you missed out. And you never even cuddled up to a buddy when you were cold, on manoeuvres, in a tent, or bivouac, or whatever you call it?"

"No. Well, only in full combat gear...."

"Well then, I think I need to further your education. Come on... And you'd better not snore!"

I knew things must be going too well, and, as so often happens, Jeff and I had only really been "together" for two whole days when the disaster struck. I find it equally unconvincing to believe in the Greek and Roman idea of multiple gods, waiting to punish mortals, but it does sometimes seem, doesn't it, that just when everything is going perfectly, there's a major fuck up?

Jeff and I seemed to be made for each other. He actually was quite bright, and I thought that if he took some part time classes, he might even one day get a "proper" job. But his body was superb, and "just right" as far as I was concerned. We seemed to complement each other perfectly - in almost everything I just made the decisions, except when we were exercising, when he was firmly in control. In bed, I liked fucking, and it turned out that he just loved the feel of a dick sliding in and out of his ass (although he could be "persuaded" to give it sometimes, too). He was just that bit older than me, and although no one could ever replace dad, Jeff was an excellent "big brother" as far as I was concerned. I loved his body, the feel of it, the smell, the taste, the way he arranged his limbs so casually, the way his dick burst into an erection almost at the slightest provocation....

I was at a meeting in my office with extremely important clients, and knew that Jeff was waiting in the anteroom so that as soon as I had finished we could go off and run. I noticed the red "critical message" light start to blink on my screen, and because of the nature of the negotiations we were having, just ignored it. I was amazed therefore when my secretary came in a moment later, apologised for the interruption - this had never happened before, as I really do delegate, and there oughtn't to be things the CEO needs to deal with urgently - and whispered that a Mr Stryker was on the line from Manderleigh, and was insisting he spoke to me.

I was inclined to let it wait, but remembered how he'd tried to shield me from the board room thing a month or so before: he'd know that I didn't want Manderleigh things in my New York life, and would only be doing this in the most extreme emergency. I wondered what it could be - the house burning down, all the coffled slaved escaping.....? So I apologised to my visitors, and pressed the "accept".

Stryker had never looked so agitated. "Sir, I'm sorry..."

"Quick, Stryker. I'm in an important meeting."

"Sir, I don't know how to tell you this...."

"Quickly, Stryker!"

"Sir, Joe is dead."

It was as if the world stopped. The room went into long focus, as if it was at the end of a telescope the wrong way around. All I could see was the tiny image of Stryker and my visitors blurred into the background.

"How?"

"The veterinarian says it was an embolism sir, in the brain. Just as he was finishing a studding, some blood vessel broke in his brain, and there was nothing anyone could do."

I felt totally numb. My whole body felt weak. I mumbled "Carry on as normal Stryker. I'll be down this evening", and pressed the disconnect. But then, amazingly, something happened - even though I felt totally alone, desolate, lost, unable to focus, unable to act - suddenly my self control kicked in. It was as if I could hear myself apologising to my guests for the interruption, and then quite calmly picking up the negotiation where I had left off a few moments before, when the world was a totally different place. It was as if a different "me" was sitting there negotiating about small percentages of billions of dollars, whereas the "real" me was crying deep down inside, desolated at my loss, and bitterly resenting that I'd missed so many opportunities to tell dad that I really did love him, and that I wanted him so much, whether he was a slave or not. The only thing that made it bearable was the knowledge that Jeff was waiting for me outside.

THE END