THIS WORK IS FULLY PROTECTED BY U.S. COPYRIGHT LAWS. NO PORTION OF THIS WORK MAY BE COPIED OR REDISTRIBUTED BY ANY MEANS WITHOUT THE EXPRESS CONSENT OF ITS AUTHOR.
THIS WORK DEALS WITH A FICTITIONAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO MEN. IF READING ABOUT HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS OR SEXUAL CONTACT BETWEEN TWO MEN IS EITHER ILLEGAL IN YOUR AREA OR OFFENDS YOU, PLEASE DO NOT READY ANY FURTHER.
PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS OF THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY AND USE CONDOMS, THEY MIGHT JUST SAVE YOUR LIFE. RESEARCH SHOWS THAT MORE AND MORE PEOPLE HAVE MADE THE DECISION TO PRACTICE UNSAFE SEX—-PLEASE RECONSIDER THIS DECISION IF YOU HAVE CHOSEN THAT PATH.
ANY SIMILARITIES TO ANY PERSON LIVING OR DEAD ARE PURELY COINCIDENTAL. THIS WORK IS ENTIRELY FICTITIONAL.
Guys, Thanks for your responses.
The saga continues...
DANIEL'S LOVE
Michael A. Raburn
Chapter 13
All I could do was lie in Daddy's arms and cry. He held me close and tried his best to comfort me as he rocked us back and forth. What had he done? Why did he kiss that boy? What would I do now that my lover didn't want me any more? All those questions ran through my head as I remembered the great way this day started.
"Come on lover, get up." I nudged the sleeping boy beside me but he was not moving. "Jace, baby, it's time to get up. We've got that meeting today." I rolled over to face him. Tracing my finger down his nose and across his cheek, I began to tickle behind his ear, one of his most sensitive spots.
"Hmm." He groaned then began to giggle in his sleep. "Stop it." His hand waved at his ear.
"I love you." I whispered, leaning on his chest and burying my face in his neck.
"Oww, you bit me." He feigned hurt. "Now you're going to get it."
Jason flipped me off him onto my back and quickly covered me in his strong teenage body. He grabbed my wrists and raised my hands over my head and his legs clamped mine, effectively trapping me under him. With a devilish grin on his face he lowered his mouth to my side and licked from my waist up towards my armpits.
"Aieee!"
"Shhh, they'll hear us."
"No, don't!"
Giving up on being able to tickle me without me screaming and waking the whole household Jason released my hands and caressed down my back. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into a long, passionate kiss. His cock sprang up to nudge under my balls, trying to find its way back in my body. Last night we had made love late into the night and finally fell asleep with him still lodged in me. Could there be any better way to fall asleep than in the arms of the boy you love? I don't think so.
"If you guys are going to get to school on time, you'd better get in the shower now!" Daniel shouted as he walked past our door.
"Kay!" I yelled back.
"Have we got time for a quicky in the shower?" Jason asked.
"Maybe, if you'll get your fat ass out of the bed." I laughed, running towards the bathroom.
"Hey! My ass isn't fat." He protested, jumping up to chase after me.
"Well, it got you out of bed, didn't it?" I snickered.
We finally emerged from the shower, dressed and made it to the patio just as Daniel was putting our plates on the table. It was a warm already at seven in the morning so I knew it would be another scorching September day before it was over. Paul looked up from the drawings spread all over his end of the table and smiled at us as we swooped by and kissed him on the cheek.
His hair was finally beginning to grow back in after the surgical team had shaved it to remove the bullet that ricocheted around his skull. It was still strange to see him with only the stubble and not the thick graying brown he had when we met him. Daniel had joked that it was at least a way to get Paul to get a haircut.
Four months had passed since Paul suddenly appeared at the grand opening of Cornelia's building. I know it wasn't really hers, but that's how I always thought about. None of the family knew that he was coming but I had a sneaking suspicion that Daniel knew something about it because he did not really look surprised, just happy to have his husband back. We were all so happy to have him back with us even though he looked tired and weak. The doctors didn't want him to leave the hospital but he's kind of stubborn.
He was so weak by the end of that hectic day that I thought we would have to put him back in the hospital. That night when we all were gathered around the bronze statue he sat quietly in Daniel's arms and snoozed. Grandmother Cornelia finally called the cars and we moved to her huge house for the next two weeks. She did not want us to go back to Atlanta until Paul was stronger. Jason and I passed the time by swimming and playing on the property. Several times Mr. Garland took us out to a big ranch so we could ride horses.
After we got back home we were busy with helping the neighbor pack all his stuff and move to the nursing home, getting ready for school and going to Mrs. Johnson's summer civil rights camp. Jason and I understood what Daddy and Daniel were trying to do with this program and we volunteered to help organize the group. I almost fainted when we got to the school that day and were met by all those angry protestors. I think Daniel was ready to sock that Vera woman when she got in Dad's face, but Paul as usual was calm and cool when he was under pressure.
Thank God for that, if he had not been so strong I don't think I would have survived what my real father was going to do to me in that stupid cabin. I don't think I'll ever be able to go back there, the memories are just too strong. Maybe I'll get Paul to sell it when the adoption is final. I know it's the only thing my mom left me, but there are two more lots that we can keep. I just don't ever want to see that cabin again.
Jason and I ate breakfast in the usual hurry; we just couldn't get ourselves out of bed early enough during the week. Leaving the arms of the only person I'd ever love was just so hard. We were pretty open about our relationship at school and no one seemed to say too much about it, just an occasional snide comment. I guess they were afraid of what the teachers would do if they found out that anybody was bothering us. Anyway, Jace and I didn't like to see the guys kissing or feeling up their girlfriends in the halls so we didn't do it either. Several times, I almost kissed him when we left our lockers, but instead I'd touch his arm and wink at him. He'd wink at me and mouth the words "later." Hey, what do you think happened, I got hard. Daddy says it's normal for a guy, especially an almost fifteen-year-old one. I hate having to walk to class with my books in front of me to hide my erection.
Jason and I only have two classes and lunch together so I hadn't seen him since History. We always meet out front by the bike racks so we can ride home together. Today he wasn't there when I got out like he usually is. His last class is in the front of the building and I have to walk all the way from the art studio in the back. I stood by our bikes for a few minutes trying to find him. After the crowd cleared and he still wasn't there I wandered around out front for a while. As I was turning to walk back to the steps and see if the secretary knew anything about him and where he was, if he's gone home sick or anything I saw something behind that big oak tree. As I got closer I heard Jason's voice but I couldn't tell what he was saying. I went over to tell him that we'd better get on home so Daniel wouldn't worry when I saw him pull that twit, Andy Bonner into a hug and kiss him on the lips.
I guess I screamed, I'm not really sure, but several people turned to look in my direction. I remember running towards home, knowing Daddy would know what to do. I didn't even stop long enough to get my bike or my book bag, I just ran. How had this happened? How was I going to be able to live the rest of my life without my Jason? I'm not even sure I want to live without him. How I ever got home, I'll never know. The only place I knew I'd be safe was with Paul, he wouldn't let anybody else hurt me, not even Jason.
I realized I was crying when I opened my eyes. How long had I been asleep? I snuggled into the warm arms that were holding me. "Jason, I love you." I mumbled as I lifted my head to see what time it was since I could see out the window that it was dark. Wait a minute, those are not Jason's arms holding me, they're Dad's. Oh no, it wasn't all a bad dream.
"Kyle, are you okay?" Paul asked, pulling me back into him arms.
"Daddy, I'm so scared. What am I going to do without him?" Surprisingly I wasn't crying any longer. I'm not sure whether I was numb or just facing the inevitable fact that he was not my lover anymore. At least he could have been honest with me and told me before he put the moves on Andy.
"Baby, it'll be alright. You know we all love you. Jason feels awful about this, about what you saw." He explained.
"He feels awful? How does he think I feel?" Oh, well, so much for not crying. I crumpled back into Daddy's embrace and cried into his chest.
"I love you, Kyle. We'll get through this."
"I love you too, Daddy. Please don't stop holding me." I begged.
"Not for anything in the world, my son."
Some time in the middle of the night I woke up and knew I needed to go to the bathroom. I eased out of Dad's arms and climbed off the bed. I was still dressed in my school clothes, so I shrugged out of my shirt and dropped my jeans on the chair beside the bed and headed off to the bathroom. After I peed, I looked in the mirror at my face and almost didn't recognize it. My eyes were red from crying and I had dark circles under my eyes. No wonder Jason didn't want me, I looked awful. I opened the medicine cabinet and realized what I needed wasn't in there. I turned on the water to fill the bathtub and closed the door as I left so Paul wouldn't wake up. Dad and Daniel's room was next to ours so I could sneak in their bathroom and get what I needed.
I tiptoed down the hall and peeked in the bedroom before I entered. Daniel was asleep but rolled over as I stood there. I was afraid he would wake up so I backed out of the room and wandered back towards the studio. There on Paul's table was what I needed. As I picked it up and turned back around I saw Jason asleep on the Dad's sofa. I tiptoed over and stood looking down at the boy I loved, tears streaming down my face. I leaned over and kissed him on the forehead.
"I'll love you forever, Jace."
The water was warm as I removed my briefs and stepped in. I lay there a few minutes remembering all the wonderful times that we'd had, the walks in the park, the skating races, the lovemaking that Jason and I had shared. Never in my life had I been so happy as this past year. Even the mess with my father had been bearable because of the love that filled this house.
I picked up the x-acto from the tub edge and held it like a pencil, pointed it to my wrist and took a deep breath. Would it hurt to die? What was waiting for me on the other side? Would my mom and my grandparents be waiting for me, or would I go where my father was? I just wanted the pain to stop.
I looked up to say a final prayer and caught my reflection on the large mirror on the back of the door. What in the hell was I thinking about doing? I remembered the time when Paul was in the hospital barely hanging on to life and how much we all wanted him to wake up. I saw how devastated Daniel had been when he accepted that his lover might never wake up. If I did this I'd never wake up. Why did I think I was defeated, I have the rest of my life ahead of me. I'm smart, sorta cute and talented. So Jason didn't want me, somebody would.
I threw the knife and had to giggle when it stuck into the wall. Dad would not be very happy about that. Oh, well, it's better than the alternative, I guess. I was about to get out of the tub when the door eased open.
"Kyle, can I talk to you?" Jason asked as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
"What do you want to talk about?" I asked, a bit of an edge to my voice.
"About what you saw and about how much I love you." He answered, his eyes locked on the x-acto stuck in the wall. "What were you going to do?" he asked, panic evident in his voice.
"I was contemplating a permanent solution to a temporary problem. How stupid was that? So you want Andy Bonner, so what? Yes, I'm crushed, but I'll survive."
"Ky, that's just it. I don't want him. It was a terrible mistake. I've only ever wanted you." He cried, tears filling his eyes. "I don't know what made me kiss him. Can you ever forgive me?" He was all out crying now.
I flipped the drain lever, stood up and reached for a towel.
"Let me." Jason unfolded the towel and started drying my body. I was not sure that I even wanted him in the same room with me, much less drying my body, but it felt so good to be this close to him.
"Jason, I don't know about forgiving you. It'll take some time. I do know that I love you and I'm lost without you, but I don't know."
"Will you at least think about it?" he asked, pausing to wrap the towel around my waist.
"Yes." I said simply. "I need to get some shorts. What time is it?"
"A little after two."
"Is there room for me on that sofa with you?" I asked, grinning.
"You betcha, pal."
I got some old running shorts and joined Jason in the studio. He lay down first and pulled the blanket up for me to him. I snuggled up to his chest and felt his arms pulling me into a hug.
"I love you, Kyle. And I'm going to make this up to you." He whispered.