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THIS WORK DEALS WITH A FICTITIONAL RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN TWO MEN. IF READING ABOUT HOMOSEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS OR SEXUAL CONTACT BETWEEN TWO MEN IS EITHER ILLEGAL IN YOUR AREA OR OFFENDS YOU, PLEASE DO NOT READY ANY FURTHER.
PLEASE HEED THE WARNINGS OF THE MEDICAL COMMUNITY AND USE CONDOMS, THEY MIGHT JUST SAVE YOUR LIFE. RESEARCH SHOWS THAT MORE AND MORE PEOPLE HAVE MADE THE DECISION TO PRACTICE UNSAFE SEX--PLEASE RECONSIDER THIS DECISION IF YOU HAVE CHOSEN THAT PATH.
ANY SIMILARITIES TO ANY PERSON LIVING OR DEAD ARE PURELY COINCIDENTAL. THIS WORK IS ENTIRELY FICTITIONAL.
Guys, Thanks for your responses. To David, in Texas: "Smile!!!"
The saga continues...
DANIEL'S LOVE
Michael A. Raburn
Chapter 15
"Paul, you look like shit. You've got to get some sleep." Alan told me when he found me on the back part of the Garland's estate staring out at the vast open plains of Texas.
"I know Alan, but there's been so much to do, to take care of."
"I know buddy, it came as a shock to all of us. But, if you don't take care of yourself you won't be in much better shape. You're still recuperating yourself."
"And that's got to stop, now!" Daniel said as he walked up. "Come on Daddy Bear, its naptime." He moved to my side, picked up the cane I had dropped and pulled my good arm over his shoulder. "Alan, thanks for finding him for me."
"No problem." He said as he wandered away.
"Honey, I've lost one person already this week that I loved dearly. I'm not about to lose you because you can be so damned stubborn some times." Daniel scolded.
"Sorry..." I started but could not finish.
Since we arrived in Houston there really had been too much to deal with, too many decisions to make, too much for all of us to worry about. And in my typical take-charge mindset I had to do it all. It was my duty as oldest "son" to be strong and to guide the family through this ordeal. So much death had been with us for the past two years, had colored our world, and now this one. I could see how it would all turn out but was totally unsure of how to hold it together until we got there.
The endless meetings with attorneys were actually a relief. They descended in Atlanta almost before the coroner arrived at the house. As mind-numbing as the meetings were, they had to be dealt with first before we could make any kind of decision as to a ceremony. I am not sure how we managed to get through that first day until the coroner released the body so we could arrange travel back to Houston. I suppose we were just so numb that a kind of autopilot took over.
Daniel managed to get all of us packed and ready to go while I met with the Garland's lawyers and the local authorities. By the time they were all notified, our friends had arrived at the house and were busy helping pack and keep the boys occupied. Nina and her ever-efficient business mind got the crazy pilot and his jet to Atlanta and worked with a local funeral home on the preliminary arrangements.
Daniel escorted, almost pulled, me back across the lawn and around the pool so that we entered through the French doors into the den. Nina, Mikey and the boys were quietly talking but stopped when we entered. I could read the concern in their eyes as we walked through, yet did not really know what to say to them at that moment.
As we entered the hallway to our wing I caught a glimpse of movement in Cornelia and Robert's end of the house. Turning to face their bedroom I saw the swirling chiffon of her dressing gown when she realized she was not alone, that I had seen her. Her eyes, lifeless and empty locked with mine; a brief grin, almost grimace-like appeared on her pale lips before she nodded and turned back to the bedroom. Daniel tugged my arm, propelling me towards the other end of the house, to our room.
I offered no protests when he started to undress me and ushered me to the bed. He tucked me in then undressed himself and lay down beside me. He pulled me to him, tucked my head into the nook of his shoulder and ran his free hand through my hair, trying to soothe me. I knew I would not sleep, knew I would see those eyes in my nightmares but could not resist the warmth of his body next to mine. I wrapped my arms around my lover, kissed his chin, yawned once and slipped away from the world.
"Champagne!"
"Huh?" I muttered, groggily, sitting up in bed. "What the hell's going on?"
"Sounds to me like the wake is over. Come on, let's see what's happening." Daniel stepped into his shorts and reached his hand to me.
I glanced at the clock, five in the morning. Why was I getting up before dawn, I wondered. I was tying my robe when the bedroom door was flung open and Cornelia entered, champagne bottle under her arm, three flutes in her hand, chartreuse chiffon flying everywhere.
"Time to celebrate!" She grinned.
"Are you sure?" I asked. She had not said one word in the past three days. We were all worried about her but she seemed to be in her own world.
"Yep, enough of this moping shit. Time to live again." She giggled.
"If you're sure..." I took the bottle and untwisted the wire cage from the cork.
"Look Paul, Daniel, we had a wonderful life together. We had several before this one and I'll see him again. You will too. Our destinies are intertwined, always will be. You got that opened yet?" She asked.
I popped the cork and poured us each a glass.
"To Robert, the love of my life." Cornelia stated, toasting towards the ceiling.
"To Robert." We echoed.
"Thank you so much guys for all your love. The Robert Garland I've seen the past year is largely due to you both. I always figured he'd work himself to death. I'm so glad he actually was playing this past year. He was never this happy before he had his grandkids."
At the urging of the Board of Garland International Cornelia finally agreed to a formal memorial service at the big old Methodist Church that her family had helped found in the early days of Houston. She fussed and fumed about this "barbaric" ritual as she called it. She did understand the need for their friends and employees to have a chance to say good-bye to Robert, but objected to his body being on public display. So we all agreed to make it a short visitation followed by a quick memorial tribute, following the loose structure that Robert had designed for the opening of the new building the past spring.
There was already an existing line of succession for the helm of the company; Robert had basically already handed over the top spot to his long-time lieutenant. The new CEO spoke briefly about the founding of the company and it's rise in stature in the business world. One of Robert's friends told a few humorous stories about their days growing up on the farm. After about an hour the gathering broke up at the church and reconvened at the house.
"Pack it up guys. It's time to get to the airport." I looked in the boys' room to urge them to hurry since Cornelia was getting antsy.
"What's the big rush?" Kyle wanted to know.
"You know how your grandmother gets when she's got a bee in her bonnet." Jason answered. "Is Alan back yet?"
"Should be by now. The funeral home said they'd have everything ready when he got there to pick up the urn for us."
The crazy pilot seemed to be having a sedate day. Our take off from Houston was calm as was the landing at "our" island. Maybe he was trying to be considerate of Cornelia or maybe he realized for the first time that there was no big rush anymore. At the airport in Houston we had parted company with the rest of the gang that had been staying at the house and only Kyle, Jason, Daniel and I were accompanying Cornelia on Robert's final trip. They were headed back to Atlanta to get back to work and Nina had agreed to get everything settled at the house for our return.
We must have looked quite the sight as we boarded the plane in Houston. All five us were decked out in tropical shirts, shorts and sandals and only carried the barest of necessities in our baggage. It was to be a short trip, but we would squeeze in some beach time before or after whatever Cornelia had planned to do with Robert's ashes. Her turn from abject mourning back to her jovial self had been abrupt, totally confusing the people who did not know her very well. To the inner circle it was typical Cornelia.
The cleaning staff had the house open to air and had restocked with provisions by the time we arrived from the airport. Daniel quickly organized the boys to help him with dinner so Cornelia and I could rest.
"Daniel, honey, how long till dinner? Cornelia asked, sticking her head in the kitchen.
"Probably in about an hour. Why, you hungry?" He grinned at her.
"Not right now. I'm gonna take Paul and go for a walk on the beach. We'll be back in time."
"Okay, have fun." Daniel hugged her.
"Come on, old man. Let's walk." Cornelia pulled me up from my chair and handed me the cane. She grabbed her oversized beach bag, slipped her hand under my good arm and we were off.
"Watch it maw, I'm not that old you know." I laughed at her joke.
By the time we reached the water's edge the sun was beginning to set to the west, changing the water to a flickering orangey hue. A gentle breeze blew the hair from our faces as we kicked off our shoes and turned to walk south in the sand.
"Paul, how are you doing?" She asked.
"I'm fine Cornelia. How are you doing?"
"Stop that!" she stopped and moved to face me. "You've been trying to hide the pain for the last several months. Daniel and I both know it; we've talked about it, and what to do for you. And I know that everything you did the last week has taken a toll. I really want to know how you are holding up." Her voice changed to a softer tone as she reached up to stroke my face.
"Mom, I don't think now's the time to talk about this." I looked away.
"Screw that. I want to know how you're doing. You and Daniel kept me together the last few days and I appreciate that. But, you're falling back into the old pattern aren't you? You'd be up all night painting if you could, wouldn't you?"
I nodded, but could not look at her. She was right as she always was. My recuperation had reached a point where nothing seemed to be getting any better. I could only paint for a few minutes at a time before I tired and my patience level was shot to hell lately. Nothing seemed to interest me. I could sit for hours listening to the boys talk and play together and found myself several times watching Daniel as he moved around the house cleaning or sitting at his computer writing. It was like I was stuck, maybe artist's block or something, but I just could not get myself motivated to do any serious work. The college had called more than once to get me to return to teaching but I was not ready, I told myself.
And in many ways, I felt that Daniel deserved so much more. Much more than I could give him lately. Our life together was very comfortable, but lacked some of the spark that we had shared in the early days. Not that I would give anything in the world for them, but the boys needed so much of our time, so much of my limited energy. I felt that Daniel was again getting the short end of the bargain. Without a word of urging he had taken over so many of my jobs around the house so I could get better. That too, made me feel even worse.
Cornelia took my arm and we again started walking down the beach. After about a hundred yards she stopped and looked around. There was an outcropping of large boulders sticking out of the sand near us. She turned from me and sat her bag in the sand. Reaching inside she pulled out Robert's urn tucked it under her arm and began to climb the rocks. I helped her up the first couple until she was higher than I could reach then started up behind her. When I had climbed where she could help, she reached for my hand, pulling me up to stand beside her and pulled me to her side.
We stood looking out into the darkening sunset. Time seemed to stand still just for that moment. Everything was perfect; the breeze calmed as we looked out towards the universe.
"Robert, I know you are here. I can feel you around me everywhere I go. I'll see you soon in our next life together. I love you so much." She picked up the urn and threw the whole thing, ashes and urn, into the waves below the rocks.
After several minutes I noticed how dark it was getting. "Come on mom, we'd better get down before it gets too dark to see."
"Yeah, as nice as it is here, I don't want to spend the night." She giggled, the tension of the last few minutes gone.
Climbing down was considerably easier that getting on top of those rocks. In no time we were back in the sand lazily strolling back towards the house. When I stopped to get my shoes, Cornelia again turned to face me.
"No, honey. You stay here, I'll get Daniel."
I could only nod and turned to look at the ocean when she grabbed her sandals and started walking to the house. I was lost in thought, or actually no thought when I felt his hands on my shoulders.
"Daddy Bear, are you..."
My sobbing stopped him.
"What's wrong, Paul?"
"I'm so sorry..." I cried, clutching him to me.
TO BE CONTINUED...