Dare to Dream
By: TJ
If you are offended by male/male relationships and sexual relationships, or homoerotic situations and scenarios, then please leave, for your own benefit. If this conduct is illegal in your area, or if you are underage, you must leave. Otherwise, enjoy. This is copyrighted by me, so please don't copy or steal, ask and you'll be rewarded (maybe).
Chapter 2
Revelations
-----Brendan-----
I hummed along to the music pouring from my computer as I tried to make sense of my homework. Homework over a break! What's the world coming to? Nevertheless, I needed to get my act together, and fast. If I wanted to make it to the college I wanted to go, it was going to take some damn hard work.
I sighed in frustration and threw my pencil across the room. I cursed my stupidity as I went over to retrieve a few minutes later. English! It drives me mad. So what if I can't put words together and make them flow prettily. Sue me.
Groaning, I fell back onto my bed. I snuggled up in its warmth as I closed my eyes. Tomorrow, school would restart, something I was not looking forward to. As I was descending into a peaceful, and hopefully rejuvenating, nap, my cell started to ring. Trying to block out the sound was futile because I knew who was calling. It was safer to just pick it up and get it over with.
"What is it Kelly?" My voice was tired, but I didn't feel nearly that tired. Or did I? I'm not quite sure actually.
"What the hell are you doing? You sound dead." The perky voice made my insides quake as I tried to control myself from flinging the damned thing across the room, where it might find a place among the various posters of athletes that hung around my room.
"Get to the point Kelly." Don't get me wrong, I loved Kelly, but I was not in the mood.
"Alright, cool it. What crawled up into your ass? Anyway, I just called to remind you about the party tonight. I know you were gone before so I didn't want you to miss it." Party? Damn party. Just some people throwing themselves at each other. I hated parties because some drunk, ugly girl would always try to kiss me. Don't get me wrong, sex with girls was good, but male sex was much better.
"Yeah I'll be there." I sighed in defeat as she gleefully told me about her newest conquest, some black-haired jock. I sighed in boredom as I hung my head. Her account of her new target got me thinking about the last time I had sex. Josh I think was his name. I had a habit of one night stands, nothing serious. In one night stands, there was no feeling, other than pleasure. Of course, there came the guilt afterwards but I usually drowned that out with other, more pressing matters. Still, sex was good, and either way, I wasn't looking for someone, not just yet. I wanted to enjoy my youth. At least, that's what I told myself. I think I disillusion myself a lot, but it's worked for me so far, so I think I'll keep up the pretensions, no use getting excited over nothing.
As she finally hung up, I let out a deep breath of relief as I trudged over to take my shower. Standing in front of the mirror, I vainly looked at myself. I smiled to myself noting I had not really put on any excess pounds from my vacation, a huge relief in and of itself.
Hopping into the shower, I tried to mimic the voice of my favorite singer. He was not famous, actually I don't think more than two people knew about him. Me, and Emma. I had met Emma at a restaurant by complete accident.
I was working there when some kid had bumped into me and sent the tray of food I was carrying all over Emma. The noise naturally attracted my manager and he came rushing to see what was going on to his precious palace. He stopped about five feet away and gaped at the scene, me flat on my ass and the food I was supposed to deliver to Table 3 all over a young lady.
He began to profusely apologize to the lady as she just smiled. She held up her hand before dismissing the incident.
"After all, it's not this young man's fault. A child had accidentally ran through this room and crashed into this man's back." She turned to me and winked at me. I smiled gratefully to her before she lent me her hand to get up. I took it gratefully and began to clean up the mess I had made as Emma had excuse herself to the lady's room.
My manager turned to me, with daggers flying out his eyes instead of daggers flying out his eyes AND fire spouting from his mouth. I smiled nervously as I quickly tried to clean up the mess. Invariably, I slid on the floor and ended up pulling the manager with me. By now, I think everyone had come into the room to look at our antics.
With a red face, Andre, the manager, apologized to the crowd before asking everyone to take their seats and continue on with their `good' times. He shot me a look and pointed for me to step outside. I had sighed as I knew it was over.
Begrudgingly, I walked out cursing the kid that had run into me. My third job lost, I was making a good habit of it. It's not that I need the money; my parents have more than enough to run their own little army. I just wanted the experience, and so far, it had not been good, by any means. I hadn't even been able to find the silver lining of my very large and dark storm cloud of working jobs.
"Brendan, I know you're trying very hard, but this isn't working. I can't keep allowing things to slip by. I'm sorry but I'm going to have to let you go. Come back in a few years and I'll let you join up." Andre smiled at me as if he had just given a million dollars. His last remark had stung me and my temper flared up.
"You know what Andre, fuck you! After a few years, I'll be in a firm, making an amount more than you can even imagine. I don't need your charity." With my hands still shaking, I ripped my apron off and threw it at his face. Without looking back, I made my way to car, fuming.
"Very smooth, very smooth indeed. Keep that up and you'll get yourself a job picking up trash." I turned around to backhand the person who had dared to interrupt me. The lady who I had spilled food on was standing there, smiling. She was mocking me; I couldn't believe it! "Listen, before you thrown another tantrum, grow up kid. You'll do the world a favor." Her voice was not as light as it had been before.
"Look lady, I don't know who you are, but you need to learn your own damn business. I didn't ask for your help and I don't need your shit." I smiled savagely as I let my anger get the better of me.
"I wonder if using foul language makes you feel any better? Does it make you feel stronger, maybe more mature?" I gaped at the calmness in her voice. "If you want to get into a firm, you'll need to learn how to deal with all kinds of people, and with your attitude, I'll be surprised if you could even finish a simple case."
"What the hell do you know about law? You're probably a prostitute off the street-" I stopped myself before I ran off my mouth. I had regained some of my sanity and I was horrified with what I had just said.
"Done? Good. For your info, I happen to be studying law, and thanks for the compliment about a prostitute. I heard they're generally very beautiful, so I'll take that as a good thing." I couldn't believe my ears. Here, I had just branded her as a low-life and she was being decent to me. I felt ashamed, more like I was the prostitute than her. There was some truth in that anyway, aside from the money, I did have a lot of sex.
"I'm sorry, it's just that this is the third job I've been fired from and I don't want to suffer from the humiliation of my dad." She looked intently at me before nodding, almost as if accepting my semi-apology.
"Don't sweat it, we all have our off days. Anyway, I just wanted to give this to you, you dropped it accidentally on your way out." She handed me my wallet and I smiled gratefully up at her. "Oh, and next time you leave it behind, make sure you don't have condoms sticking out of it, there's kids here you know." She smiled wittily at me and I blushed so red that I thought I could match the red neon sign of the restaurant.
"Uh..thanks. I won't leave it behind anymore." She laughed at my embarrassment before looking over me over again.
"Hmm...definitely got the looks. Heart? That's a struggle. Brains? Even harder to say, but I'm sure you've got some intelligence. But then again, what does anything except appearance mean to you kids these days?" I smiled wickedly at her before winking at her.
"You know, you're no that old, I'm sure you can still be a kid." She burst out laughing before giving me her hand.
"I'm Emma, and I'm too old for you. Plus, don't hit on me, I can do better." She smiled evilly again before I took her hand and kissed it, tracing my tongue up to her shoulder. She snatched her hand back before scowling and shaking her head.
"You sure you can do better Emma?" She swatted my ass before smiling at me. "By the way, my name's Brendan." Emma nodded before glancing at my car, whistling slowly afterwards.
"From the look of it, you're only working to pass time?" I smiled as it was a question I was asked often.
"Actually, yeah. That and for the experience. But my luck has been shit -- I mean bad so far. Sorry." I smiled sheepishly as I looked at the ground.
"Don't worry Brendan, I don't take offense in words. It's just you were throwing them casually around." I smiled at her and we went off on our separate ways after exchanging numbers. From then on, we had been good friends, and I had confided mostly everything in her. In a way, she was like my sister. Although she didn't approve of me having sex so casually (and had even made it blatantly clear to me she disapproved), she allowed me to have my own way, claiming I was mature enough to know what to do. Her only stipulation was I be careful with whom I have it and always wear condoms. Luckily for me, I hadn't yet contracted any STDs and had no intention of doing so. It's funny how that hasn't made me more cautious about having sex, oh well.
I finished up my shower before drying myself and once again hearing the angelic voice singing the last song I myself had attempted to sing. His name was Darren Lyle. Apparently, he could play almost any musical instrument and if he heard a song once, he could play it over and over perfectly, if not better. Not only that, but his voice was amazing, I was surprised he was not a professional singer. Emma had told me he had wanted to sing, but his parents hadn't approved of it so he only sand privately. I was shocked to hear that. I mean, what kind of parents wouldn't want their child to succeed and do something they loved?
Anyway, I wish I had that kind of talent. My only talent lies in sports. I can play all kinds of sports, though not all positions. But I can't complain. After all, life's not fair. I threw on some party clothes quickly before grabbing my keys and cell, heading out to the car.
As I was driving, my cell started ringing again. Grabbing it and flipping it open, I was hit with the sound of music. I heard someone screaming my name. Shaking my head, I started to yell at the phone, informing Kelly I was on my way. Apparently she got the message because she said hurry up, you're dog is waiting for you. I thought back to what she could mean and then pictured Tyler, another one of the guys I had messed around with. Her choice of words to describe him had me laughing.
I happened to glance outside to notice that a storm would descend soon upon the area. As I was glancing back, I noticed a boy, or a man, I couldn't really tell, walking on the sidewalk without an umbrella. He must not have been from here because it looked like the storm was going to be a killer and he was unprepared. I laughed again as Kelly told me to hurry my ass up before hanging up.
It hadn't been but maybe ten minutes before the rain started pounding on the car. I knew that the storm could only grow worse and I decided to speed up although I was already speeding. What more could it hurt if I went thirty miles over the speed limit instead of ten?
For some reason, which I can't even to this day understand, I turned my car around remembering the guy that had been walking around. His jacket wouldn't protect him from the biting winds that were characteristic of Kansas' storms in the winter. I barely passed him as I hit the brakes on my car, sliding of to the side. Putting the car in neutral, I rushed out grabbing the umbrella from the back seat.
Running up to him, I noticed he was thoroughly drenched but I couldn't really tell much anything else. As his head passed under the safety of the umbrella, my throat ceased to function and my breath got caught. If Michelangelo's David, was the epitome of the healthy, beautiful man, then this boy standing in front of me was the essence of all that is perfect. Quickly regaining my composure before he could notice, I smiled at him. "Hey. Looks like you could use a ride. Come on," I said nervously as I tried to keep my voice steady. I grabbed his hand and led him to the car, nearly fainting from the touch.
"Here, hold on a sec." I gave him the umbrella to hold as I opened the trunk, my hands shaking terribly. I had to steady myself before grabbing the towel and running back to him. "Use this to dry yourself off. You sure did get soaked." He took the towel from me and his hand gently brushed my hand. I thought I would die and go to heaven.
He quickly dried his brown hair and wiped his face. If he looked good wet, I can't begin to describe how he looked semi-wet, semi-dry. His hair was sticking out a little giving him the ruffled look that I usually despised, but it looked breathtaking on him. "Go ahead and get in the car. Don't worry about the seats getting wet, they'll be fine." My voice slightly cracked as excitement coursed through me. I opened the door for me before I could make a larger fool of myself.
Quickly, I closed the door behind him after and rushed over to the other side before folding the umbrella. I threw it in the back of car and shook my hair a little to get the moisture out before settling into the car. I squashed my nerves before looking back at him. I decided to play it cool so I wouldn't give away anything, although I'm sure my antics earlier would have given me away.
"Hey bro, name's Brendan. Lucky for you, I noticed you walking earlier. Otherwise you could have been trapped in this downpour. You're not from around here are you?" He seemed really surprised that I was talking to him, as if I was a stranger. Well, I was a stranger, but I wanted to get to know him, really well. Everywhere.
He smiled at me and shook his head no.
"I thought so because Kansas' storms appear out of nowhere and they can be quite vicious." I slipped in the part of nowhere because I wanted to make him feel comfortable about not bringing an umbrella. No need to make him feel dumb. Hell, he was probably smarter than me. I smiled and put out me hand to him nervously. I wasn't sure he was going to shake it but I summoned up all my courage. No person, not even another guy, had ever made me feel this way.
He gently shook my in a handshake. His grip was tender, but at the same time, full of confidence. It looked like he was not scared of much, but just nervous. Sure enough, he smiled nervously at me. He tried to pull his hand back but I held on, not wanting to let go. I realized later that was stupid of me but hey, who could think in front of him?
"Oh, sorry. My name's Darren. Thanks for helping me like this." Only then did I pull my hand away, reluctantly of course. Darren? So cute and adorable. It fit him well. I definitely needed to keep up with him.
"Dude, don't mention it. So, where are you heading?" I tried to play it cool and strike up a conversation with this angel. For some unknown reason to me, he fidgeted nervously. He cleared his throat before answering.
"Nowhere really. I was just heading to the park." My eyes shone with mischief as I was hatching a plan. What if I could drag this kid to the party and get him drunk, then back to my place. He looked at me oddly but did not answer. I took that as a good sign. "Great. You want to come to a party with me?" I smiled wickedly as I imagined what I wanted to do to him.
"Uh, actually, it might be wiser for me to go back home." He froze for a second as if he realized something. Whatever it was, he shook it off "Sorry. I really should get back." I was disappointed to say the least, but if I had learned one thing from my experiences at jobs, you had to keep trying, never give up.
"You sure? You can call up and ask the `rents. Here, take my cell." I dug into my side pocket before throwing him my cell. He stared numbly at my cell. I wondered if he didn't know how to use one before I mentally slapped myself. Of course he knew how to use one. I realized he was very nervous and felt really sorry for him, very bad too that I was pushing him into this situation. My hormones would just have to wait. Feeling guilty, I took the cell back from him. "Sorry, guess I'm being too forceful huh? Why don't you tell me the directions to your house?" I smiled gently and nodded for me to talk. I just hoped I hadn't scared him too much.
"I live down by the lake. Just go straight down this road and it's the first left. I can walk from there." He clasped his hands together as he stared outside. I was saddened that I wouldn't be able to glance at his angelic face but thought better to just get him home. At least I would know where he lived. Hmm...a stalker. Now there's an idea.
"Alright, grab on." I smiled mischievously as I wondered if he knew what I meant. Oh well, better to give him a crash course. The storm had been worsening but I knew it would get even worse. Speeding up, I glanced at Darren who had clutched onto his seat and his face was turning pale. I chuckled slightly before explaining, "If we don't break clear of this storm soon, it's going to swallow us up. It's impossible to drive under such circumstances."
He looked at me as if I had gone out of my mind. I chuckled again before shaking my head. Poor kid, he was going to need another crash course, this time, in weather.
"Yes, it gets much worse than it is right now, surprising, but true. Don't worry, you'll get used to it soon enough." I drove on quickly. Although in usual storm circumstances, I would have been going much faster, I wanted to be able to have his presence next to me as long as possible.
As we pulled into the neighborhood, he gave me directions to the house. I had a nagging feeling for some reason. This neighborhood seemed awfully familiar. Then it hit me, this was where Emma lived. I smiled realizing I hadn't been to visit her in a long while. I wonder what she was doing. The last time I had spoken to her was before I had left for vacation.
When we got to his house, I turned to look at the house with a sickening feeling.
"Fuck, you're Darren Lyle?" I couldn't believe I hadn't put two and two together earlier. Here he was, my dream boy. The person I had drooled over many-a-night, listening as his melodic voice dispelled many of my nightmares. The one person I had looked at without immediately wanting to fuck his brain outs. I stared at him as he looked at me, puzzlement written all over his beautiful face.
I was fighting to control my breathing. Emma had told me so much about him, showed me his pictures, let me listen to his music. Hell, I had a whole CD of his music back home that I listened to everyday. Over the years, I had grown to love him. Emma knew of my feelings for him and she laughed at me every time, always saying something that made me realize my own folly. "How can you possibly love him Brendan, you haven't even met him? Plus, you sure you want to say you love someone? After all, that's a long commitment and you won't be able to have sex with everyone anymore."
I know it was silly but I had developed strong feelings for him. I don't even know if it was love, but it wasn't anything I had ever felt before. It was so much stronger than any emotion I had ever felt. And it scared me, scared me I could like anyone so much without ever meeting them or even talking to them.
Darren Lyle, the boy I would drop everything for even if it was just for his friendship. I didn't deserve his friendship, he was an angel after all, but I somehow knew he wouldn't deny me his friendship. He was too kind.
Looking back at his rapidly increasing worried face, I realized something. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Not once, in all our talks and discussions, did Emma say he was not gay. Could he...?
TBC: Chapter 3: School
Author's Note:
Hey guys, its TJ again. I know, I know, don't groan. Thanks for everyone that replied. I hope you like the second edition. But I am curious about how the dual-person setup works. Is it too repetitive? It would be wonderful if I could have some feedback on this. Also, if you haven't noticed, there haven't really been any hints about describing sex. I haven't decided if I'm going to leave that up to your imagination or if you would prefer for me to write out such scenes, so give me the heads up. I'm not promising anything other than consideration, because it's always fun to imagine.
If you have any comments or suggestions, please email me at: dreemarz@yahoo.com