If you are offended by male/male relationships and sexual relationships, or homoerotic situations and scenarios, then please leave, for your own benefit. If this conduct is illegal in your area, or if you are underage, you must leave. Otherwise, enjoy. This is copyrighted by me, so please don't copy or steal, ask and you'll be rewarded (maybe).
Chapter 5: Joshie
-----Darren-----
"And here is the wonderful cafeteria. At our school, you will find the jocks on the farthest table on the left, the nerds and geeks on the farthest right. The slutty cheerleaders will be situated on the table next to the jocks, followed by the royal `plastics.' The Goths accompany the nerds although the nerds are rather intimidated by them. I believe that's the wrap up." I laughed heartily as I listened to Brendan give his official tour of the school. I must say, it was amusing watching him try to put on this show, but I was grateful for it. It was, if nothing more, something to get my mind off of this morning. That was one catastrophe I didn't want to relive. I was pulled back into the real world when I noticed he was looking intently at me, frowning.
"What?" I asked, perhaps a bit defensive. His frown soon turned upside down (or right side up I suppose) to a smile.
"Have you even heard a bit of what I was saying?" As I prepared to answer, he waved me silent. "Alright, so you got the gist of it. But you could at least appear to be interested in me." I raised my eyebrows until he figured out what he had just said. "I mean interested in what I was saying. Don't look at me like that, you know what I meant." He was smiling nervously before I patted him on the back and turned around to head to my locker. "Hey, where are you going? Wait up!" He ran to catch up with me before slowing to my pace.
"Sorry, I just want to put everything in my locker before I head to class. I want to be there early to talk to the teacher." He seemed to understand and walked quietly beside me. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, just a soothing one. He seemed to have something on his mind but wasn't saying it. I shrugged it off as his business and not mine.
Reaching my locker, I turned the combination and tried to open it up. Unfortunately, it didn't budge. Trying again, my luck didn't hold. I think I tried at least ten times as Brendan stood next to me, laughing his head off. I stubbornly tried to persevere but it was a losing battle. Before I could ask for help, I think he took pity on me because after I put in the combination, he set his hand on mine, preventing me from trying to open it.
The contact was electric and I felt a chill up my spine. The last time I felt that, the results had been disastrous. I quickly yanked my hand out from under his and he looked at me oddly before banging on the locker. And what do you know? It popped open. I stared at him open-mouthed and he looked at me with innocence.
"You! You! I've been standing here for a good five minutes trying to open this locker and you just stand there when you knew how to open it all alone?"
"Oh don't be so serious Angel." I narrowed my eyes as he used Emma's nickname for me. "Oh, sorry. It's just Emma had called you that so I thought I could do the same. Sorry Darren." He hung his head and it made me feel horrible to see him like that. I wasn't giving him the benefit of the doubt.
True, he did seem to show some lust towards me, or it could just be my imagination of course. And true, he did seem to know about my scars. And not to mention that he obviously knew something about my past since he and Emma had discussed them. But that didn't mean he was going to abuse the knowledge. I had judged him and I was being bitchy towards him. He had been nothing but nice and helpful, albeit the subtle and lewd hints he had dropped here and there, since I had come to meet him. I hated prejudice with a vengeance and here I was being prejudiced towards him. What kind of a person was I? A huge hypocrite, that's for sure.
"No, it's okay. I mean it's not." I groaned as I realized I was making zero sense. "What I'm trying to say is, I don't mind nicknames and I'm not mad that you used Angel. It's just that I only let people very close to me call me that and Brendan, I've only known you for about two days. Just give me some time."
It looked like my words stung him a little because his eyes were clouded over. I suppose my comment about him not being that close to me wasn't the greatest way to tell him why he couldn't call me Angel, yet, it was true. If even there is ever a time he'll call me that, of course. Shrugging it off, I got everything in order and walked to the edge of the hall. Looking back, I found him staring intently at me. I tilted my head slight to the left in anticipation of his question. He took the hint and started walking slowly toward me.
"Darren, why aren't you taking choir or orchestra or any music program? Hell, why aren't you taking art?" My body instantly tensed up. This morning's argument resurfaced again and I didn't want to get into it.
"Long story Brendan, and I really don't want to get into it." I left it at that before continuing on my way to the classroom. When I didn't feel him following me I turned around and hollered if he was coming. That was idiotic of me but who cares? I'm a klutz. Simple and sweet. Next thing I knew, I was on the floor with half of my back on someone else.
I quickly got up wincing at the pain in my ribs before turning around and helping the other person up. She was breathing heavily and her eyes were closed in pain.
"Are you okay? I'm so sorry; I should have watched where I was going." She looked at me with amber eyes that were soothing and warm, a motherly look. I was mildly surprised at how homely she looked; after all, she was only a teenager. That's when I noticed her rounder stomach. I gasped slightly realizing that I could have just hurt her greatly.
"I'm fine," she answered before I could get to it, undoubtedly reading my eyes. "And yes, I'm pregnant. Don't worry, I didn't fall on my stomach, luckily." She smiled gently at me and my tongue got caught in my throat.
"Darren, are you okay?" Brendan was by my side in the few moments that the incident had taken place. He looked at her with what seemed to be slight fear. She looked at him too before looking at me. Her easiness had been replaced with a hardness I would have thought impossible coming from her.
"I'm fine. It's her you should be worried about. I'm sorry, I don't think I caught you name?" I held my hand out again but she looked at it before glancing back at me.
"You're different. Darren is it? My name's Alicia. It's nice to meet someone who doesn't judge so easily." I could tell the last part was directed at Brendan and realized that they must have had some history. The tension was building and I was feeling slightly uneasy as I realized there was something akin to animosity between the two of them.
"Umm, I'll catch you around next block Darren unless you want me to walk you to class right now?" He seemed hopeful I would want to walk with him. Before I could respond, Alicia started to walk away from us. That made up my mind.
"I'll see you next block." Speeding up a little, I caught up with Alicia. For a pregnant lady, she sure could walk fast. "Sorry, are you really okay? I mean I didn't hurt you or anything, did I?" She stopped walking and turned to face me.
"You know, if anyone else had asked me in this school whether I was okay, I would have ignored them." I looked at her dubiously before she took pity on me and clarified. "They'd either be mocking me or making sure I knew they really didn't give an ass' bottom whether I was alright or not. But you, you're different. How'd you fall into the hands of Brendan? I can tell he hasn't got the chance to stick his dick inside your ass yet."
I was taken back by her bluntness and acidity. I took a defensive stance before calculating her. She seemed to have some knowledge about this school and its students that could prove invaluable to me but at the same time, she should take her own advice and not judge me that easily.
"Actually, you're right, he hasn't. And I wouldn't believe if it was any of your business whether he did or not." I looked at her cautiously before she relaxed, leaning against a wall.
"Sorry, my nerves have been on end. Hormones and all. It's not easy being a teenager mom, or going to be teenage mom I guess would be more politically correct." She smiled gently at me before closing her eyes. "Listen Darren, I don't know anything about you or your relationship with Brendan, but whatever happens, make sure you don't put your heart into it. He's not too great with feelings." I nodded my head and offered my hand. She looked questioningly at me before smiling. I returned her smile and was once again taken by her beauty, regardless of her midsection.
"I know a few things about pregnancy. One thing for sure though is a morning walk does a world of wonder." She smiled happily at me before walking along with me. We were silent as we went outside and walked in the direction of the pond. I checked my watch and made sure we had plenty of time. While we were walking, we ran across Kelly and Josh, Brendan's best friend and boy friend. What a coincidence.
"Look Kelly, it's the whore who went and got pregnant." Josh started to laugh his head off, finding his own joke very funny. Did I mention he was the only one who found it funny? Kelly slapped him hard on the side of his head shutting him up. "What was that for bitch?"
"Watch your mouth or else." He seemed taken back because he shut up quickly. "It's nice to see you Alicia. And you too Darren." Alicia's grasp on my hand had grown tighter and tighter and I could tell she would do anything to be at any other place right now.
"Likewise Kelly, but we're slightly in a hurry and we really ought to be on our way. If you'll excuse us." We made our hasty escape from them and Alicia's grip on my arm loosened. I think she realized she had been crushing it.
"Sorry, I didn't hurt your arm did I?" She smiled innocently at me and I chuckled.
"Aside from breaking it in half, I think I'll be ok. So what's the child's name?" She looked at me questioningly, almost as if in wonder before looking at the clear waters of the small pond. A duck quacked here and fly buzzed there. It was grossly naturalistic. Refreshing even.
"Andrew. It's after his great-grandfather." She smiled wistfully but her pain was evident. She didn't have a pleasant experience it seemed. "Thanks." She had said it so softly that I had barely heard it.
"What's there to say thanks for?" She stopped walking and slowly inched her way onto the ground while leaning against a tree.
"Oh no reason other than you got me away from Kelly and Josh. Not to mention the fact you haven't asked any questions about my state of life." I studied her as she gazed intently at the daffodil growing next to her.
"You used to be a part of the `A' group, both at school and at home." I said it more than questioner her about it and I think that may have startled her a little. "No need to tell me about it. Your story is yours to tell if you want to tell, whenever you want to tell. Trust me, I can relate, somewhat, to your situation." She smiled gratefully at me before reaching for my hand. I pulled her up slowly and she leaned on me for support as we made our way back to school. By this time, since it was reaching time for the start of the school day, people had begun to gather. As we made our way to the front door, I could feel their eyes on me, studying me. Some of them openly gawked at me and for the life, I couldn't understand why.
"You know, if you stick around me, you won't be too popular around here. I'm a social outcast. Being pregnant isn't high on the list-to-do around here." I chuckled and looked at her.
"Don't worry. I think we'll get along quite well. Actually, I know we will." She smiled gratefully again. I could tell by the look in her eyes and her body movement that she had not talked to anyone closer to her age in a long time. My heart went out to her. Teen pregnancy is looked down upon so much, it's a real shame. It's not like it had been completely her fault but yet, she had to take the full brunt of it. Yet I still wondered who the baby's father was.
"Hey honey! Are you new here? Do you want someone to show you around?" I looked towards the voice and I think I stopped in my tracks. I had to pinch myself from bursting out laughing. I think Alicia took pity on me because she pinched me too. And boy did she know how to pinch.
"No, it's okay. Really." I replied with as much of a steady voice as I could muster, lest I break out in full laughter.
"Oh honey, no worries. I know you must be nervous and shy, but no need to hide your emotions around Joshie-poo." He started to approach me with what appeared to be his attempt at a sexy smile. He was failing miserably. He stuck his hand out to me, his extremely tight shirt preventing much movement. His leather jeans were dotted with pink stars and he topped it off with platform shoes.
"Thank you but I already got the tour." He didn't seem to want to give up as he eyed me up and down, his eyes devouring me. It set me on edge to say the least.
"Well, I can show you everything! I'm sure you missed the secret locations." His vocal stress on secret set off red alarms in my mind and I made sure we kept a safe distance between ourselves. Alicia was beside herself, practically giggling at my problem. I turned to her and searched her eyes for an answer. Thankfully, she took over from there.
"Look Joshie, you're a great guy," he suddenly looked at her as if she had said that the sun was about to fall down. "I mean great gal, sorry. Anyway as I was saying, Darren has already gotten the tour and if he doesn't get to class, he might not be able to learn well and if he doesn't learn well, well you know that that means." His blank eyes indicated he had no idea what she was getting at. For that matter, neither did I. "You know, if he doesn't get all his stuff done at school, he might not be able to peruse the malls as much. And you wouldn't want that now would you?"
Her words worked like a charm because the next thing I knew, he had stepped aside and was quickly running up the steps telling people to move their asses. I think bubble buts was the term that he used, but I can't be too sure. I finally let my laughter out and Alicia turned her head towards me. I stopped laughing long enough to question her about it and she smiled.
"You really are very beautiful Darren. Never lose hope honey." Her words puzzled me but before I could question her, she was up the stairs and through the door. I quickly made my way to the foyer but I had already lost her in the tumult of the school. Not wanting to be late for the first class of the day, I hurried through the halls ignoring everyone as the stopped to look or even try to talk to me. This was not going the way I had intended it to.
Making it to the class in good time, I choose a seat near the right-front of the class, near a window. Quickly setting all my stuff down, I went up to talk to the teacher. As we talked about what I had already knew and what I would need to do to catch up, the room filled to its seams as students continued to pour in. When there was but one seat left, a tall, slender girl entered. From the instant I turned around and sat down at my desk, her eyes locked onto mine.
Her brown eyes gazed into mine, piercing them, trying to figure me out. But little did she know that two could play this game. I gazed back at her. Something about her set me on edge. Something I did not like. Before we could continue any longer, the teacher had started. I turned my attention back towards the teacher and was droned out in his monotonous voice. I looked outside the window and saw the football players practicing their drills.
It's so ironic how life can take the most unexpected of twists, throw you into a black hole, drain you of all your follies, and yet, continue to exist around you as if nothing had ever happened. Oh how I wished I could return to the days of my naiveté, or even to my innocence. True, it would seem foolish to wish for such amateurish ideas, but sometimes, you have to take a step back from life and just watch. It's not good to just be a watcher in life, but at the same time, one cannot expect to fight every battle. We are not perfect. That's for sure.
Regardless though, if we do not step back and appreciate the world around us, then who will? Nature has offered us so much, and we have thrown it back in its face. Each death is a toll upon this land, for its children die. But for us, death is nothing more than a passage of time. We may be sad, we even may cry, for a few days but we soon revert to our usual selves. It is such a pity how we cannot recognize the true value of something or someone till it is too late, till they do no exit anymore.
"Mr. Lyle? Would you like to tell me what is so interesting that you see down there?" I froze as the teacher stood next to my desk, peering over my shoulder to see what had so captivated my attention. "Ah football is it? It's a shame, if you are really that interested, you really should have joined. I'm sure they could have used another athlete on their side. However, that is not the path you choose. You are in a philosophy class and I would suggest you show some spark of interest."
"Actually sir, I was contemplating on how precious life is. We walk around each day trying to prove to ourselves, even more than we try to prove to society, that we are strong, that we are invincible. We forget the little things offered to us by nature that makes life so livable on this land. We don't cherish what we take for granted, and even after death, we may not recognize the true meaning of life. I think that is mankind's greatest tragedy, their inability and lack to understand life."
The class had remained very silent since I had started to speak. The teacher was looking with me with curiosity, even a touch of awe. The girl that had startled me before stood up in her seat.
"True as you may be Darren, what will come out of life if we do not look at the big picture? Isn't it in our nature to appreciate what is given to us because of our application of it? It seems you share an idealistic view of the world. Not to say that is bad or anything, but don't you think it'd be more beneficial to society to be slightly more realistic in our beliefs. Our values have been structured around life and our necessity to defend it." I could not forgo a challenge, no matter who asks me of it.
"Perhaps, but we have to remember that it's the individual parts that make up the whole. Forget them, and you will invariably forget the true beauty of the whole. True, you may retain the bare essence of what it is, but what good is the essence without its fullest capacity? If there is nothing to nurture it, there is nothing for it to grow with. What use is an idea in stasis to us? Humans require the idea of action to survive. We life because we can fight, whether it is a fight to destroy something, or a fight to protect what we believe in." I replied, itching to get this started.
Just as the argument was getting good, the bell rang. I suppose it's a good thing that it ended there because the little debate was growing more heated by the second. Who ever this lady was sure knew what she was talking about. She had her facts down. I had my respect for her. Yet there was still something unnerving about her. As I made my way out of the class, someone jumped onto my back and I went tumbling, caught by the surprise of the extra weight on my back. I landed with an oomph, practically crushing my already bruised ribs. I let out a small yelp of pain no matter how much I tried to suppress it.
I heard some yelling as I noticed the approaching figure of Alicia. She reached me quicker than I would have believed and with surprising force, she pulled the person atop me off of me. He landed somewhere to my right as I braced my stomach. The pain was excruciating and it was building by the second. I tried to get up but failed in doing so.
"Darren. Listen to me. Are you okay?" Her voice was smooth and strong, much like a mother's. I nodded my head `no' as clearly as I could but a few shakes of my head had me reeling and wanting to cough up my insides. "Ok honey, hold still. Did you put your bandages on? No need to move, just press my arm once if you did, and twice if you didn't."
I had a nagging feeling but for the life of me I couldn't figure out what it was. How could she know that I would need, much less wear, bandages. I had not even known her for longer than a couple of hours and yet she seemed to know of my wounds. I pressed her hand twice, albeit weakly. She tried to get up but her large stomach prevented any quick moment. Groaning in frustration, she turned to the person that had been the cause of the incident.
"Joshie, I need you to go find Brendan. You know Brendan right? Blonde hair, green eyes, a body to die for? Go find him. He should be out on the fields. Please do this for your sister Joshie. Go, quickly." Sister? My mind was growing faint and I started to loose consciousness. I willed myself to stay awake but the pain was building. When I had fell, I had smashed into a locker before landing on my backpack. Since my ribs were already heavily bruised, the little beating they had received a few moments ago wasn't helping them heal any.
"Help him up Alicia. We need to get him to the nurse." I felt a pair of hands encircle my lower waist and I saw a shimmer of brown eyes in front of me.
"Get away from him you bitch. The nurse can't help him. He wouldn't want her help." The acidity in Alicia's voice stung even me. These two girls apparently did not get along at all.
"Look Alicia, at least the nurse may be able to keep him awake long enough till the ambulances arrive. It's our only hope." This seemed to enrage Alicia even more because she slapped the other girl's hands away from my body.
"Get your filthy hands off of him you fucking bitch. And don't you ever use my name again. You lost that privilege. And it is not our problem. It is my problem. Now beat it you cunt." The other girl took it in stride and did not falter. She simply stood next to me on the other side trying to persuade Alicia.
"Look Alicia, I'm not about to let Darren die here. He's not in good condition, you know damn well," she was silenced by a punch in the stomach by someone.
"Joshie!" the noises were growing louder and were not helping my headache. I laid there helplessly as I felt my lungs heaving to get me sufficient air.
"Brendan! Get him into your truck. We have to take him to Emma's house. Give me your cell, I have to call her. Just do it Brendan, don't fucking ask any questions. Darren's in a very bad condition." By this time, all the commotion and the large crowd had undoubtedly attracted us some visitors and the school administrators had arrived.
"What is going on around here? Someone tell me what is going on?" I think that was the principle shouting as he fought over the crowd to try and figure out what was happening.
The girl with brown eyes was back in action and was trying to lift me up as Alicia was arguing with the principal. Joshie and Brendan had run to get Brendan's truck and I laid there, in the girl's arms. When Alicia turned around to see me again, she let out a gasp as she tried to prevent the other girl from moving me. The other girl shouted in rage.
"Alicia! Damn it, don't be so stubborn. I know you don't want our cousin to die!"
TBC: Chapter 6: Answers
Author's Note:
Hey everyone, it's been a while, a long while. I apologize for my absence but the past two weeks have been hell for me trying to balance life, school, and whatnot. Not fun, trust me. Luckily, this chapter is slightly longer than the others (not by much though). Anyway, this is the fifth edition and probably has raised even more questions than answering previous ones. I realize I have introduced three new characters (Alicia, Joshie, and the `girl') but they hold an importance to this series that will become clear later on. If you truly are confused, if you email me with your questions, I can try and clear them up (but not asking me questions that are about future editions). The plot is getting thicker and the story more interesting (hopefully), but the next chapter will provide some answers (hence the name).
Also, the story has taken a slightly philosophical turn with both Alicia's presence and the questions raised during the class. This story, as I said before, is not intended as a jack-off-story but a story to express emotions across the spectrum, not just love. I'm sorry but I'll have to keep the sex scenes away for a while, not till there's an actual relationship established between any of the characters.
I've noticed a lack in replies so I'm not sure whether this is a sign of disinterest or just personal affairs keeping you from replying, but please remember, it's you emails that keep me motivated. Please don't hesitate to email me, I love to read your emails and generally respond to them after I have written the next installment.
Once again, you can find my story at http://www.thescribblerspad.com/.
Remember, email me at dreemarz@yahoo.com.