Greetings, everyone. Here's my first attempt, hope it's good.
Disclaimer: -The story involves things of homosexual nature and is a fiction, the names of the characters or places, story and such are only in the author's mind and have got nothing to do with things in reality, no matter the similarity.
-If the content of the story is forbidden in your area or you're under-aged, please don't proceed. Otherwise happy reading!
-The story has nothing to do with the band 'Switchfoot' whatsoever
Dare You to Move Eps. 1
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A raging tirade. My fault? Maybe, maybe not. A short snap, some sharp words, and suddenly all hells broke loose, putting every little detail in place for a perfect, flawless speech of 'I love you's and 'my sacrifice for you's. Give the door a sharp strike, and you have your very own glorious exit. Add up another 'meaningful' (re)Enter Oedipus and a (supposedly) sentimental line and wala! You're suddenly the World's Woman of The Year giving your gratitude speech.
To be honest, I saw the words escaping your mouth and heading straight, not at me, but to Nana standing right beside you putting up another mimic whose sincerity was questionable and way beyond my deepest doubt (Well to put it short I believe neither of you two generations mothers). Maybe I should've done you a favor and let you save some energy on the POWERFUL, mightily POWERFUL speech by giving Nana the exact translation of it:
"Look at the daughter you've so badly treated, look how DEVOTED she is to her family (Which is good) and look at how she needs it to be recognized by all (Which returns mankind to its innate flaw: hypocrisy and the need --no, hunger [or STARVATION]-- for praise)." And finally, "Look at how I am so very better a mom than you have and could ever be!"
Well think again... nope, gotta change that, think about what the people around you are going to say when I finally make the decision to come out and tell the world the very truth, the very people on whom you've been imposing the all-sacrificing mother impression. Think about what you're gonna say to them, whether I've really lost it, stressed and depressed and influenced, or maybe I'm actually the devil's son, or someone's put a spell on your supposedly very loved and perfect son, or face the truth that this is what I really am and stop yourself from producing the thought that I'm doing those horrible things out of spite (although I do... sometimes). And please, for the love of god PLEASE, stop blaming yourself and trying to make yourself look like a martyr. Why? Because it'll kinda ruin the whole plan of 'making you look bad' thing I've been putting up since the first time I breathed out of your tummy.
God!! I've been writing horrible things. I've still got some faith left and I'm kinda positive that I might get a ticket to hell for this. Hmph, as if the life as a gay in the closet I've been living in hadn't already given me that.
Believe me, dear patient reader (whoever you are so as to end up opening this file), that I do understand how you think of this piece as an expression of an inside the closet, immature queer's bitterness. I've kinda wake up everyday with it embracing me passionately and we've reconciled about how it's going to affect my attitude. Something in the way it had made me hurt various people made me found it very... worth keeping. (I LOVE it)
Well I'm just relieved that I'm gonna be leaving REALLY soon, to my very own place, away from her grasp and with my very life to deal with, and this time without anyone else fussing about it for me.
July 13, 2002 R.G., Post a dollar worth cliche ===============================================================
The screen flickered once more and the ever-colorful Windows logos began to fly around making their own ways towards the edges of the monitor. It was the second time that the screen saver went on while I was reading the pathetic rambling I'd typed two weeks ago, and that time I just stared at it blankly, too busy putting words together in my head for a futile comment to relieve myself.
There I was, sitting with just my boxer on in my apartment, hardly aware of the fact that it was already 2 in the morning and that my roommate was staring at me those last 5 minutes trying to perceive just what in the world I was doing.
"You know if you stare at them just a couple of hours more G, one of those Windows might actually break free and you can finally make out with it in the 3-D world"
William was standing at the doorway holding a pillow in his hand wearing his trademark grin, beaming at me.
"Yeah I know that, I was only planning to see what's behind them when they're finally out you see, but now that you've pointed it out..."
The pillow missed my head and it hit the keyboard, sending my precious Windows logos away.
"Man!! Look at what you've done!! Now I have to wait all over again!!!"
"Oww.. Now I feel like I have to go to the church and make a confession... I sinned 'heavily' didn't I? Parting you from your forbidden lover?" He was starting to giggle now, I snorted.
"Yea, you sin more heavily that the RAIN does!!" I snickered. He did too, and we ended up laughing. "You know I'm glad you didn't take English as your major! You're gonna be, like, the professor's favorite!" I added after the laughing fit.
"Okay enough with the crap talk. What's up G? What were you reading just now? What's this... 'Enter Oedipus'? Hey!! I thought you major in the Medics, how come you're reading Greek Shakespearean?" The snicker again, but this time I didn't laugh.
"No, it's nothing, I was only checking out some old files I hadn't opened for a while." I said as I pressed Alt and F4.
"O--kay..?" His was a skeptical look.
"What?" I was getting a little tense.
"Wasn't it...?"
"Wasn't it what?" I cut him abruptly.
"PORN!? Are we hiding something here roomie?" He said as he began to get enthusiastic and wrestled me to re-open the file through the 'Documents' shortcut.
"What are you... Hell no! I'm not like you, sicko!"
"Then why the sudden secretive gesture, hey fellow sicko?"
"HEY!!"
After a lot of pulling, pushing, nudging and tugging and names calling I managed to take his mind of the file at all and I laid there at the floor, succeeding in taking him away from the computer by pretending to lose - it's not like I had a chance in beating him anyway, at least he left the file alone-. William was panting while sitting on top of me, I obviously had put up a better effort that night.
"Well some porn could really burst you up G, I had a tough time there..." he smirked.
I nearly jumped. If he decided to open the file again, I wouldn't be able to stop him with the effort I had just given.
"But... I think I'm gonna head in this time. Maybe I'll check it out some other time, eh? Don't let the bed bug bite, G." He said as he patted my shoulder, stood up, and headed to his own room. I couldn't make out his face in the dim lighting of the room, but I was pretty sure that he winked at me before he stood.
"and.... Good night to you too" I said in a hoarse whisper.
William had always been like a big brother to me, one that teases me A LOT. I bet he didn't actually care whether I was really reading porn or no back then, he only wanted to take my mind off whatever it was that bothered me. Throughout the past 3 years that I had known him in High School, he was both my senior and close friend (which, by the way, if you sum it up, almost equals a big brother), although he didn't know about my sexuality (hey, only a girl in my class knew and it was pure coincidence thanks to her so called 'gay-dar') and for all I know he was straight. He was a year ahead of me, pretty popular from being good-looking and easygoing, so I basically had to play the 'good junior' stuff before we became closer, and that was around the time he developed his nasty habit of pulling my leg and making fun of me. Once we got to know each other better, though, we were quite inseparable.
Our school was one that required all of its attendants to live on campus, and I was assigned in the same dorm as he was, and being dorm mates, we had little problem getting along. During the first year I had to live in the first floor and was used to have nightly assault by the people from the second floor, our seniors the 11 and 12 grads. The assault usually only included pillows, although sometimes some seniors crossed the line and hurt some of us real bad. I was one of the unlucky fellows, and he happened to be the considerate one who stopped the whole thing and noticed me bleeding real badly. He practically lifted me and rushed me to the infirmary alone while the others were standing dumbfounded at what happened. That was when we officially knew each other. We talked a bit after the doctor had attended me (yes, each dorm had its own doctor) and we discovered that we actually joined some clubs together. I thought I'd seen him before, but it never struck me that he was that hot spike in volleyball club. Sure enough, the assault routine took a lengthy pause after the incident but after 3 months everyone seemed to have forgotten the whole deal. I didn't mind anyway, it was quite fun with the sweat, the rush, and the view (boys in shorts banging and clinging at each other? Are you kidding me?).
We weren't that close in the first year, with our not being in the same floor and my obligation to make friends in my own year, but the next year was better, what with the improvement in the assault strategy we came up with that sent some juniors weeping and the club activities and all, and when he finally went to college in the same town, I followed him the next year. I offered him to share the apartment my parents had bought me and he accepted it and moved in from his previous apartment just a week ago.
I laid for a few more minutes then, thinking how lucky I was to have such a great guy as my room mate, then finally decided to give myself a break and have some sleep. Actually after that bout with Will back then, I was surprised that I still had the power to stand up and lay on my bed instead of just sleeping right there on the hard wooden floor.
The first thing I saw on my first day of college was a pair of blue eyes looking intently at me from beneath wavy brown hair whose ends tickled my nose. I sneezed at my stalker and sent him sprawling to the floor.
"Remind me not to wake you up anymore G, I don't think I like the idea that I have to wash my face twice in the morning, not good for my complexion. Nah-ah." William's face surfaced beside me.
"Complexion my butt... Next time try to wake me from my feet instead, you might get your teeth put in place and save some bucks on the orthodontist." I said as I was rising up.
"Whatever, I don't have my dictionary with me okay, I'm not laughing on that. Big day for you today, don't wanna have you miss the orientation." He smacked me in the head and left the room.
"Geez, sometimes I wonder if he's really dumb or enjoys faking one." I mumbled to myself. To be honest, William was one of the smartest people I'd known in my life. Well he was mainly smart in logics and numbers and I've gotta say he wasn't quite good at languages, but 'orthodontist'? Man, my little sister won the spelling competition for that word.
"Hey Will, d'you always wake people by tickling 'em with your hair? No wonder Josh resigned as your room mate back in high school." I asked him during the walk to the university, the place was just 10 minutes away. I was mainly wondering why he had his face so close to mine that morning. Not that I didn't like it or anything, you didn't just invite a gorgeous guy to be your roommate while not expecting 'something' to happen, though it'd be weird if something goes on between the both of us, we'd been like brothers and brothers don't date... or do they?
I stared at him intently. He didn't seem to notice and just laughed loudly.
"Remember what your friend Dora said about one's true beauty was reflected on his sleeping face? Well I almost thought you fitted into that only seconds before you sneezed at me, and I think Dora's theory needs some revision. One is most beautiful when he sneezes."
"Whatever..."
"Hey, you're a beautiful sleeper, really, but you're not the cutest sneezer."
"Right. See if that applies to you too if you have hair up your nostrils."
"Okay, so I was leaning too close. I was just curious about that scar on your temple Nick gave you, I thought you had two cuts, why only one scar?"
"'Cos... the other one's shy and doesn't like sunlight?" I said, more like a question than an answer. The truth was that the other scar was located at my right butt, there was quite a long line going down from my waist to my bottom, and I remembered how embarrassed I was when the doctor attended my ass with William's eyes looking at it the whole time. They were really absorbed with the nasty cut that I was the only one who was aware of my nakedness. (How Nick's pillow hit me on that spot was beyond me, it wasn't like I gave my butt up for him to spank.)
I laughed about it nervously and refused to say anything else, but William seemed to still be curious, until I guess finally he remembered and snorted a quiet laugh. I was prepared for his comments but he didn't give any, he instead slapped my butt and rushed ahead in a slow run.
"Come on, you ass-boy you!!" He yelled at me from behind his back.
Oh yeah, he remembered, that's for sure.
We arrived at the campus two minutes later, and we were like the first ones to arrive. Trust William to come up with something like this, urge you not to be late and be there even before the janitor does.
He showed me around the site and told me some interesting things like where the Human Resources and the Philosophy professors were caught making out, and that among the ones that discovered them was the Philosopher's own son.
By the time we had finished going around, the campus' main entrance was fairly crowded with most of the freshmen, some trying to mix, some too uptight and nervous to even remove the tensed look on their faces.
"Ok good luck G, enjoy your first day!" With that William left and started for a group of people gathering in a corner, probably his friends.
I scanned the thousand faces I saw before me, trying to find some faces I knew back from High School.
"Hey R.G.! Over here!" Sure enough, there were my old friends sitting on a bench in the far end, already feeling comfortable with the company they'd made.
"Ookay, so we're all finally here, could you believe we're actually in the college now?!" A girl in the middle of the group said, replied with 'yeah's, approvals and groans from the rest.
"Yea just listen to her now. First day excited, but once it gets tough she'll whine and curse the college just like she did in the Highs." A guy mumbled beside me. It was Grey, the one who called me earlier.
"Would you drop it? You and her are in the past, Grey, at least she's moving on now..." Another girl beside him replied.
"Dora's right man, and now that we're here, there's a bunch of opportunities open for us, especially for Miss Blondie here.." I added.
"Hmph! Whatever! The fact is, blonde or not, guys DIG me. Hee hee. So I heard you're living with William now, G? My my, talk about opportunities..." Dora's reply, sent with a victorious smirk, hit the spot and I was speechless.
"Oh yeah, I thought William's stride was weird when you guys came, it was almost as if he had a sore butt or something." Gray joined, and this time they started to laugh loudly.
It was then that a senior took the wireless and announced that the freshmen were to head for the main hall, and the crowd started moving. I looked around for William and was granted a 'good luck' wink from him right before he turned and headed for the door.
TBC
------------------------------------------------------- There, my first shot. Let me know if anyone's even reading this, I'd love some feedbacks (Can I say "I'd love to be fedback?" :p). Send comments, flames, criticisms to lantise@yahoo.com.
THX!
Oh, and 'Dare You to Move' is a song by Switchfoot, copyright Switchfoot and Sony Music.