I'm not connected to Dawson's Creek in any way. This is a fan fiction story and isn't supposed to reflect on the sexual preferences of the actors who play the characters. All characters are the property of Sony and Outerbank Entertainment and copywrited to them.
Dawson sat in the darkened theatre, staring up at the horrific images on the screen. It was the fifth time he'd come to see 'Saving Private Ryan', his idol's latest masterpiece. Despite that fact, he watched each detail intently, feeling in awe of it all as if it were the first time again.
"Dawson, pass the popcorn," Jen whispered to his left. Without taking his eyes off the screen, Dawson picked up the tub of popcorn and handed it to her.
"Thanks. Have you see Joey lately?" Jen whispered as she took it.
"What? Yeah, at school. And the Ice House. Jen, it kind of defeats the point of paying to see a movie if we're going to hold a conversation in the middle of it," Dawson replied, taking his eyes off the screen for a few seconds to make his point.
"Sorry. But I've seen this movie three times with you. It's getting a little old," Jen sighed.
"Old?? Jen this movie is a masterpiece. A work of art! How can you say it's getting old? Does Romeo and Juliet get old after the ten thousandth time? No! So how can-"
"Down boy. Down. Sorry, I forgot who I was talking too for a moment," Jen laughed.
Dawson smiled and turned his whole attention back to the screen. They watched the rest of the movie in silence and then made their way out to the lobby together. Dawson sighed a little as the daylight reached his eyes. Going to the movies was his only escape from his own life. While he was sitting there in the darkness, he lost himself and became a part of the movie. When it was over, reality set back in.
"There's Pacey and Andie," Jen commented, pointing across the lobby. Dawson followed her gaze and saw the couple coming out of another movie theater, laughing. Pacey's arm was draped over Andie's shoulders and they looked incredibly happy.
Dawson hadn't seen much of Pacey in the last few weeks. Maybe it was because Dawson had been busy with the film, or because Pacey was so busy with Andie. Or, maybe it was because Dawson was using up a lot of his free time for secretive sexual encounters with Jack, encounters that always left him feeling guilty about the fact that while Jack was in love with him, he was only using Jack for his own sexual pleasure.
Each time they reached their mind numbing and body exhausting climaxes, Dawson promised himself that it was the last time. He wouldn't give in to his hormones again, he'd be strong and let Jack know that it just couldn't happen again. But all those vows flew right out the window each time Jack touched him or gave him that secret smile. When that happened, the hormones took over his body once again.
Whatever the reason, though, Dawson had lately only seen Pacey at school and at the video store where they both worked. He'd even begun to wonder if Pacey was avoiding him. That thought struck fear in Dawson's heart. If it was true, Pacey must have learned about him and Jack. Maybe Jack told Andie and she told Pacey! Dawson couldn't bear the thought of Pacey turning against him.
"Oh, look! It's Dawson and Jen! You know, I think the two of them would make such a cute couple. I know they tried it and it didn't work, but don't you think they're a cute couple? Of course, he and Joey are cute too, and that's like, true love. You know? But then again, she's finding herself, so Dawson is fair game after all. Right?" Andie asked. She was in one of her perky moods.
"Whatever you say," Pacey laughed. Behind the smile, though, hidden where Andie would never know about, was a sudden jolt of fear and guilt. Pacey had been avoiding Dawson as much as possible since catching him with Jack. At first it had been because of the fear that Jack may have told Dawson that he'd had seen them together. That would lead to a discussion between them about Dawson being gay, and Pacey was terrified of what such a discussion could lead to.
But since so much time had passed, Witter was now certain that Jack had kept quiet. Why I am still avoiding him, then? he wondered. But deep down, he knew the answer. He'd had feelings for Dawson for a long time. Before he'd found out the truth, it had been easy to deal with those feelings by telling himself that Dawson was straight and nothing could ever happen between them.
Now, though, he knew that not only was Dawson gay, he also had feelings for him! That scared Pacey, a lot. He wanted so much to tell Dawson the truth and be with him. But he couldn't. Not only would it probably ruin a life long friendship that meant a lot to Pacey, but it would also mean that Pacey was gay.
Inside of himself, Pacey knew he was gay. But he'd long ago convinced himself that as long as he never acted on it or let anyone else know about the feelings he had for other men, he wouldn't really be gay. Sleeping with Ms. Jacobs and then Andie had allowed him to further convince himself that this was true.
"Hey guys! What movie did you too see?" Jen asked as the four teens met up in the center of the lobby.
"Shakespeare In Love," Andie smiled. "It's so romantic! Especially seeing it with Pacey."
"I'll give you one guess about what we saw," Jen rolled her eyes and smiled.
"Hey, it's a classic Jen," Dawson protested, smiling.
"Jen, try working in a video store with this guy. I can recite ET, Jaws, and just about any other Spielburg movie line for line. He never lets me choose what movie we play," Pacey laughed.
"That is so not true! What did we watch yesterday? I belive it was The Mighty Ducks, wasn't it? That certainly wasn't my choice," Dawson laughed. He felt relieved by Pacey's attitude. He was as laid back as ever. Surely if he knew the truth, he'd be acting differently.
"Now that's a classic!" Pacey grinned.
"You guys want to get something to eat?" Jen asked as the four of them made their way out of the theatre together.
"Sounds good to me! Hey lets go to the Ice House. It's just about time for Jack's lunch break. I hate to think of him eating all alone. He's never had a lot of friends, but since he came out it's been even worse," Andie sighed.
"Yeah, that's sounds fine. Jack's a great guy. It's a shame that there are so many closed minds in this town," Jen sighed.
Pacey glanced at Dawson, wondering if there was still something going on with him and Jack. Maybe, Pacey thought hopefully, it had just been a one time thing.
Dawson concentrated on keeping his expression as normal as possible. Jack had told him that Jen was already aware of the fact that Dawson had been acting odd lately. If he showed any strange reaction to the mention of Jack's name, Jen might guess just why he was acting weird, and he didn't want that to happen.
The four of them walked to the Ice House, talking about school and people they knew.
"Chris Wolfe is having a party tonight," Jen mentioned.
"He is such a sleaze! Oh, I didn't mean... I'm sure he's not always a sleaze. He can be nice at times," Andie hastily corrected herself as she recalled that Jen and Chris had briefly been lovers.
"No, he's pretty much a sleaze 24-7," Jen laughed. "Don't worry, Dawson. I won't be going to the party. I learned my lesson last time."
Dawson smiled, but the mention of Chris brought forth another thing for him to worry about. Dawson knew that at any given moment Chris could show up and demand a blow job. While blowing Chris certainly wasn't an awful thing, it always left Dawson feeling incredibly cheap. Especially since Chris always treated him like his own personal toy and never failed to leave him with a hardon.
The odd thing was, Chris hadn't requested oral sex from Jack at all, not after that first night. For some reason, it was always Dawson who was forced to pleasure him to keep the secret quiet.
Pacey, meanwhile, was also thinking about Chris. From what he'd heard that day in Dawson's room, he knew that Capeside High's most famous womanizer was somehow involved with Jack and Dawson sexually. Pacey couldn't imagine his best friend, that old fashioned romantic Dawson Leery, involved in a threesome. Something strange was definitely going on when it came to Chris Wolfe, Pacey decided.
The four teens arrived at the Ice House and chose one of the outdoor tables. Bessie Potter smiled and came towards the table with four menus.
"Hey guys. What's going on?" Joey's older sister asked.
"Not much, Bessie. Is Joey working today?" Dawson asked.
"No, she had her art class today," Bessie said, smiling. Just then, a large crash and the sound of breaking glass filled the air. Bessie groaned and put a hand on her forehead.
"Jack? What did you break this time?" she called out.
"I'm sorry. Just a few glasses," Jack called from inside. "I'll clean it up."
"Don't bother. It's time for your lunch break. I'll take care of it," Bessie called back to him. She smiled at the four teens and shook her head in exasperation.
"Are you sure?" Jack asked, coming out of the restaurant.
"Yeah, I'm sure," Bessie said.
"Jack, come have lunch with us!" Andie called out to her brother. Jack turned and noticed the four of them for the first time. His eyes lingered for a moment on Dawson, who was studiously devoting all of his attention to the menu.
Pacey watched Jack and Dawson curiously while pretending that he was looking at the menu. Dawson hadn't looked at Jack once, but Jack had shot several glances towards Dawson. What does it mean? Pacey wondered.
They five teens ordered and were soon eating the Ice House cuisine. Jen and Andie did most of the talking while their three male companions each struggled with his own thoughts.
'Why won't Dawson even look at me? Is he ashamed of me? Of our love? I can understand him not wanting anyone to find out, but he's acting like I don't even exist,' Jack thought.
'I can't look at him. He'll give me that look and then I'll end up doing something stupid,' Dawson was thinking.
'Jack certainly couldn't be more obvious. He's staring at Dawson like he's desert,' Pacey though with a sting of jealousy.
Once they were all finished eating, Jack sighed and stood up. "Well, I'd better get back to work. Bessie can probably use some help."
"Just try not to break anything else, okay?" Andie smiled at her brother.
"I'll try," Jack grinned. "I'll see you all later."
"Bye," Jen and Pacey both said at the same time. Jack smiled but seemed to hesitate. He remained standing by the table for a few seconds, waiting for Dawson to say something.
"See you around, Jack," Dawson finally said, looking at him for the first time.
"Yeah. Actually Dawson, I have an idea for a model that you might be able to use in the movie. You mind if I stop by your house later on?" Jack asked.
"Actually, Dawson and I are doing something tonight Jack," Pacey said quickly. As soon as the words left his mouth he could have kicked himself. He and Dawson really didn't have plans, but the words had just come out. He felt incredibly jealous at the thought of Jack and Dawson being together.
"Oh," Jack said, looking at Pacey. "Okay. Maybe some other time. I'll call you Dawson."
"Okay," Dawson said. Jack walked slowly back towards the restaurant and Dawson glanced curiously towards Pacey. Had he made plans with Pacey and then forgotten them? No, he was sure he hadn't. But why would Pacey say that he had?
Jack watched from inside as the four of them walked away. What was going on? Dawson had hardly looked at him during lunch and Pacey had been very quick to ruin any chance that he and Dawson might get together that night. Had something happened between Pacey and Dawson?
"I love him. I'm not going to lose him," Jack mumbled to himself as his four lunch companions disappeared from sight.
Pacey walked up the front steps to Dawson's house slowly. He'd spent the past few hours trying to come up with a way to explain why he'd lied to Jack at lunch. He knew Dawson would wonder why he'd done it, and there was no way Pacey could tell him the truth. 'I did it because I love you and I don't want you sleeping with Jack any more' were words that would never cross Pacey Witter's lips.
He let himself in and found Dawson's mom sitting in the living room with a book open in her lap.
"Hi Mrs. Leery. Dawson around?" he asked. Gail looked up and smiled at Pacey.
"Yeah, he's upstairs Pacey. Go on up."
Dawson was at the computer when Pacey knocked on the door. Pacey smiled at him and plopped down on the bed. "Hey, what's up?"
"Nothing, really. What was all that about you and I having plans tonight? Did I forget something?" Dawson asked, turning to face Pacey.
"No. I just figured you probably wouldn't want to hang out with Jack. I know the two of you have never been best friends. Besides, it's been awhile since we hung out," Pacey said.
"So, what do you want to do, then?" Dawson asked. His heart was pounding as he stared at Pacey. He looked so hot, lying there on Dawson's bed. What would he look like if he was lying there naked? Dawson wondered. The mental image that came into his head began to cause a stirring in his jeans.
"I don't know. Watch a movie?" Pacey suggested. He was trying hard to keep the image of Dawson sucking Jack's cock out of his mind, but it wasn't working. He could feel his cock rising in his pants.
"Okay. You choose," Dawson replied. He didn't want to stand up. If he did, Pacey would notice the bulge in his pants.
Pacey was having much the same problem, but solved it by rolling across the bed and standing up with his back to Dawson. He grabbed a movie at random and tossed it to Dawson, Then quickly sat back down on the bed and pulled his knees up to his chest to hide his problem.
Dawson began to sweat. How was he supposed to get up and put the movie in the VCR without Pacey noticing his hardon? He grabbed his book bag from the floor beside him and stood up so that it covered the front of his jeans. Pacey didn't look his way, to Dawson's relief. He wasn't quite sure how to explain the need to carry his bag over to the VCR.
Dawson shoved the movie in and sat down on the foot of the bed. He scooted backwards until he was next to Pacey and drew up his own knees. Sighing in relief, he reached for the remote. Pacey hadn't see his erection.
Dawson hit play. The two teens sat there, staring at the screen, neither saying a word as they both tried to mentally will their cocks into submission.
Dawson gasped suddenly as the image of a young blonde guy standing on a beach came onto the screen. The guy was wearing only a speedo and had a surf board tucked under one arm. A good looking dark haired guy was approaching him from across the beach, also dressed in a speedo.
Dawson flew off the bed, all thoughts of his hardon leaving his mind. "Hey. Nice day isn't it?" the dark haired guy asked on the screen. "Yeah. You know, this is a nude beach. We really don't need to wear these tight-" the blonde started to respond, but Dawson hit stop and the picture faded from the screen.
Pacey remained frozen, staring at the black screen. He knew he had to say something, anything. "What was that?" he finally asked. How could he have been so stupid! In his haste to hide his erection from Dawson, he'd grabbed a porn movie from Dawson's collection! And not just a porn movie, but a gay porn movie!
Dawson turned slowly around, his mind reeling. "Um, well. It.. it was an adult video actually," he stuttered, blushing. He waited for the obvious question, the one he'd been dreading for years and hoping to avoid - are you gay?
"Oh. Sorry, I thought I grabbed Scream. They must have been next to each other," Pacey laughed, doing his best to make everything seem normal.
Dawson felt a rush of relief. Maybe Pacey assumed that it was straight porn and that the women just hadn't been in the few seconds he'd seen.
The two of them continued to stare at each other, neither saying a word. 'I want him so much,' Pacey thought. 'Maybe if I just told him right now, I could be with him. What's stopping me?'
Pacey opened his mouth to speak and Dawson held his breath, wondering if the dreaded question was about to be asked. Before Pacey could say anything, a knock sounded on the door.
"Dawson? Oh, hi. Hey Pacey. Sorry to interrupt," Jack smiled as he came through the door. He looked from Dawson to Pacey curiously. "I know you guys had plans and all, but I was feeling kind of bored. Do you mind if I join you?"
"No!" Dawson and Pacey both said quickly. Jack smiled and sat next to Pacey on the bed. Dawson quickly removed the tape from the VCR and retrieved Scream from his collection. He sat back down on the bed, next to Jack and pushed play.
'My God, I almost told Dawson about my feelings for him! If Jack hadn't come in... What was I thinking??' Pacey wondered in horror as the movie started.
Jack casually glanced at both guys several times during the movie. He knew he'd interrupted something, but he wasn't sure what. He was glad he had, though. Jack was more convinced than ever that Pacey had feelings for Dawson. And he knew he couldn't let Dawson find that out. If he did, Jack would lose him.
####I hope you liked it. Please keep sending suggestions about the direction you think the story should take! I really appreciate it. Write to denvercarrington@hotmail.com