I'm not connected to Dawson's Creek in any way. This is a fan fiction story and isn't supposed to reflect on the sexual preferences of the actors who play the characters. All characters are the property of Sony and Outerbank Entertainment and copywrited to them.
Dawson Leery sighed and rolled over onto his side. He was lying on his bed in his darkened room. The only light came from the moon, who's rays were shining in through the glass of the window. Dawson closed his eyes and pictured Pacey's face. His heart felt heavy, as it often did when he was alone in the dark, thinking of his love for Pacey and all that could never be.
Inevitably, his thoughts turned to Jack. He wasn't at all confused about his feelings for McPhee. He liked him as a friend, and they'd had a lot of fun together. But that was over now. Jack was getting way too serious, and that wasn't something Dawson could deal with, at least not with Jack.
He was surprised by a light tapping on his window. Turning over, he was suddenly overtaken by a sinking feeling. It was Chris! Dawson wasn't in the mood to have to service him tonight. Then again, that had never mattered to Chris anyway.
"Chris, please. Not tonight," Dawson pleaded as he pulled up the window.
"We have to talk, Dawson," Chris said as he climbed inside. He walked quickly across the room and switched on the light, then turned to face Leery again.
Dawson felt a tingle of anxiety when he saw the look on Chris's face. Instead of his usual cocky self assurance, Chris wore an expression of guilt and worry. "What is it?" Dawson asked. He felt a jolt of fear. Had someone seen them in the school bathroom? He'd known it was too risky!
"Dawson, man. I have to tell you something. I kinda let slip to someone about you being gay. There was a misunderstanding and I thought he already knew," Chris said, looking apologetic.
For a few moments, everything stopped. It seemed to Dawson, who didn't breath or even feel his heart beat, that time itself had come to a stand still so that his mind could process this information.
"Who?" he finally asked, his voice a hoarse whisper.
"Look, Dawson. It was your fault anyway! If you and Jack hadn't called him with an anonymous tip-"
"What in the hell are you talking about?? Called who?" Dawson yelled, his head spinning in utter confusion.
"Doug Witter. You mean you didn't call him? It must have just been Jack, then," Chris said more to himself that Dawson.
"DOUG WITTER? Oh my God. Oh my God!" Dawson began quickly pacing back and forth, his heart pounding furiously. "Doug is Pacey's brother, Chris. What am I going to do? There's no way that he's not going to tell Pacey about this. Those two hate each other. All it's going to take is Pacey insinuating that Doug is gay. That's all. Then Doug will turn it around and throw the fact that Pacey's own best friend is the real queer right back in Pacey's face! Oh my God!"
Chris watched as Dawson sank down to the floor and rested his chin on his knees. He looked so hopeless that even Chris felt momentarily sorry for him. "Listen, Dawson. Doug isn't going to do anything to hurt you. Not even to one-up Pacey."
"You don't know the Witters, Chris. You don't know what that family is like. It's just the kind of thing Doug would do. God, he'll even tell his dad, just to make Pacey look even worse in his eyes. Then he'll call my dad. Everyone's going to know," Dawson said. His voice sounded almost dead and his eyes matched his tone of voice.
"Dawson, listen. Doug won't out you to the whole town. I don't know, he might say something to Pacey. But no one else. He's gay, too, man," Chris tried to assure Dawson.
"What?" Dawson looked up at Chris.
"Trust me. Doug Witter is gay," Chris grinned.
"Even if that is true, he'll still tell Pacey. I'm going to lose my best friend," Dawson looked back down at the floor.
"Listen, I'm sure it'll all work out. I have to go, I've got a date with that new chick from class today," Chris grinned. He headed back towards the window, pausing before he started to climb out. "Oh, and Dawson? You're off the hook, man. You don't have to give me any more blow jobs. Unless you want to."
Dawson raised his head and looked at the familiar smug look on the teen's face. "Get out, Chris."
Jack inhaled Pacey's warm scent as he moved his mouth slowly up and down Pacey's hard cock. Pacey stirred a little in his sleep. His hand softly touched the back of Jack's head and he sighed.
"MMM...Dawson?" Pacey asked, slowly opening his eyes and coming out of the dream he'd been having. Looking down, he saw Jack looking up at him intently, his mouth filled with Pacey's cock.
"Jack?? What the hell are you doing???" Pacey yelled. He struggled to sit up while Jack continued his methodical sucking motions. "Stop it!" Pacey yelled. A shudder of pleasure suddenly overtook the teen and he gasped.
"Oh my God!" Jack slid a hand slowly up Pacey's chest and began to play lightly with his hard nipples. "No! Jack stop it!" Pacey brushed Jack's hand away.
A surge of energy propelled Pacey off of Andie's bed and knocked Jack over onto the floor. Pacey stood glaring down at Jack, his breathing rapid and his hardon still sticking out of the fly of his pants, standing at attention.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, McPhee?" Pacey demanded.
"I thought I was giving you an enjoyable blow job. You seemed to like it," Jack smiled, glancing up meaningfully at Pacey's hard rod.
Pacey followed his gazed and turned around in embarrassment, stuffing himself back inside his pants and zipping up. Turning back around, there was still a noticeable bulge in the front of them.
"Damn it Jack, I've made it clear to you that I'm not gay! I'm dating your sister, man! How could you do this to her? That's just low, McPhee," Pacey spat out.
"I had to find out, Pacey. And I have," Jack sighed.
"Found out what??" Pacey yelled.
"If you were gay or not," Jack answered quietly.
"I'm NOT GAY! Just because you gave me a hardon doesn't mean I'm gay. I was asleep for God's sake! It could have been Andie for all I knew!"
"Or Dawson."
"What the hell does THAT mean?" Pacey demanded, blushing in spite of himself.
"That's what you said, Pacey. When you woke up and felt what I was doing. When you put your hand on my head, you called me Dawson," Jack sighed again.
Pacey was speechless for once. How the hell could he explain something like that? Had he really called out Dawson's name?
"Damn you, Pacey. You're going to ruin everything, aren't you? I love Dawson. I LOVE him. But I can't compete with you. Or the feelings he has for you. Damn you!" Jack was near tears as he stood slowly up to face Pacey.
"No, Jack. Damn YOU!" Pacey yelled as he lashed out, punching Jack squarely in the nose and storming past him. He quickly went down the stairs and left the house.
Alone in Andie's room, Jack's tears began to flow in earnest and he tended to his bleeding nose. He'd been wrong to do what he did with Pacey, he knew that. But he'd had to know. The worst part was, he did know now. He'd lost Dawson. Pacey might be in denial now, but eventually the two best friends would each figure things out and find their way to each other.
"I'm all alone," Jack cried softly.
Pacey walked home, his mind in turmoil over what had happened with Jack. Everything that McPhee had said was the truth, and Pacey knew it. But he couldn't let himself be that way. He was already enough of a disappointment to his family the way things were. He had to be straight.
He made his way slowly up to his room, his anger at Jack having cooled off. Now he felt only intense sadness. Why did this have to happen? Why couldn't things be simple like they had been when he, Dawson, and Joey had been kids together, playing on the creek. Everything had been so easy then!
Pacey jumped as he turned on his bedroom light and found his brother sitting opposite the door in a chair, arms folded across the front of his police uniform.
"Jesus Doug! What are you doing sitting in my room in the dark?" Pacey asked, his anger returning quickly.
"How was the date?" Doug asked, his voice clearly indicating his opinion that it had been a failure. After all, everything Pacey did was a failure to Doug and to their father.
"What do you care?"
"I don't really. I want to ask you something. About Dawson Leery." Pacey recognized the tone of Doug's voice. It was his brother's 'no nonsense, this is police business' tone.
"What about Dawson?" Pacey suddenly felt worried. Had something happened to him?
"He's your best friend, right? You know everything about him?" Doug asked.
"Yeah. So?"
"Even that he's gay?" Doug asked quietly. Pacey stared at Doug in complete shock, unable to believe that he could have possibly heard what he had.
"Don't answer, I can see from your face that you didn't know that," Doug sighed. He stood up. "Listen, Pace. There was a little trouble with a student blackmailing other students. Nothing too serious and I...um...managed to work it all out. But Dawson's name came up in that context."
"Oh no," Pacey sat down heavily on the chair next to the door. "It'll be just like with Jack. Everyone's going to trash him. I don't think Dawson can take that. He's too sensitive."
"Don't worry about that. I'm the only one who knows. I'm telling you because your his friend. He's going to need someone to talk to. He's not only been dealing with being gay and keeping it a secret, but with blackmail, too. It's got to be tearing him up. I thought you should know so that he has you to lean on and doesn't do anything stupid."
"Thanks, Doug," Pacey said weakly. How could he tell his brother that he not only already knew the truth, but could never talk to Dawson about it? It would reveal too much about his own feelings.
"Just doing my job. Protect and serve," Doug smiled as he left Pacey alone.
Blackmail. Doug was right, Dawson would need someone. But Pacey knew he couldn't be that someone. Dawson had Jack, right? They could turn to each other. Still, Dawson was his best friend. He had to make sure he was okay.
Pacey slowly climbed the ladder, not sure what he was going to say. He'd hoped, deep down, that there would be no light in Dawson's room when he arrived. But there was.
As soon as he was eye level with the window, Pacey knew that everything in his life was about to change in one way or another. Dawson was sitting on his bed, his legs drawn up and his head resting on his knees. Though Pacey couldn't see his face, it was obvious from the shaking of Dawson's shoulders that he was crying.
Pacey didn't bother to knock on the window, he just slid it open and stepped inside. Dawson looked up when he heard Pacey's feet hit the floor. He looked panic stricken and quickly tried to dry his eyes.
"Pacey. Hi," he said weakly, trying to smile. Pacey walked slowly to the bed and sat down next to his best friend. He slowly put an arm around Dawson's shoulder.
"It's okay, Dawson," he said quietly.
"What is?" Dawson asked in a worried tone. Just how much did Pacey know?
"Everything," Pacey said simply.
"No, it's not. You know, don't you?" Dawson asked.
"It doesn't matter, Dawson."
"Oh, God. You do know," Dawson moaned, dropping his head to his knees again.
"It doesn't change anything, Dawson. You're still my best friend," Pacey struggled to convey his acceptance without getting too emotional. He didn't want his own feelings to emerge.
"Yes it does. It changes everything, Pacey!"
"Just because you like guys instead of girls doesn't mean I'm going to look at you any differently," Pacey said nervously.
"I don't just like guys, Pacey. I like you." Dawson held his breath, waiting to see how Pacey would reply. Things had gone this far, he reflected, they might as well get everything out in the open.
Pacey looked into Dawson's eyes, his emotions in turmoil. He slowly formed the words he should say in his own mind, the words he'd told himself to say if this ever happened. 'I'm flattered, but I'm not gay, Dawson'. But the words seemed to catch in his throat as he stared back at his friend.
Dawson waited anxiously, fearing that he'd just ruined the best friendship he'd ever had, or ever would have. "Pacey, say something!" he finally begged when he couldn't stand the silence any longer.
Pacey continued to stare for a few seconds and then quickly leaned forward and pulled Dawson into a kiss. They both felt an electrical shock rush through their bodies as their mouths and tongues met for the first time.
After a few seconds, Pacey pulled away. Before Dawson could say anything, the other teen was out the window and clamoring down the metal ladder. Dawson's mind was reeling. Pacey had kissed him! He finally got up and went to the window, where he saw Pacey walking quickly down the driveway. He wanted to call out to him, but what could he say? Instead he turned and looked around his room, as if the answer to Pacey's actions were somewhere within the familiar surroundings. Finding no clue, Dawson fell backwards on his bed and clutched his stuffed ET to his chest, a lovesick smile transforming his face.