Wow, I got a lot of e-mail from the last story. Thank you all who have e-mail to tell me I am doing a good job. You were all great liars. ? Well, part 6. I must say I am excited. lol As for all the legal stuff, know it, use it, follow it. Oh, and before I forget, go and vote on the Boy Bands Awards page. The link is on the Nifty web page. So, now on with the story.
Dealing Part 06 By Me (CJ)
There was that sun again. Never inconsistent is it? Justin was awakened once again by the star so close to us all. He groaned as he turned in his seat. He opened his eyes with much pain as he looked around at the light he faced. `Nice, different plane. When did I get off the last one?' Justin joked with himself as he sat up to get out of the uncomfortable position he had slept in. He looked around to realize he was alone. He knew he was in the back of the plane. He didn't mind. He liked being to himself. It was a thing that kept him sane many a times. The curtains that separated the last of the three cabins were drawn and by the silence Justin could tell it wouldn't be bothered for awhile. Everyone else was probably still asleep. As he pulled the covers off of him, a card fell from his lap. He reached down to pick it up and noticed a little note attached to it.
`Found this in front of your seat. Guess it was an early birthday greeting huh? Happy Birthday. ~Jason.'
Justin looked at the card. It wasn't his, at least not that he knew. He didn't bring it with him. He turned the card to the back and started easily tearing the sticky back that kept whatever was inside safe. He got it open and took out a colorful card. He read the usual birthday greeting on the front, but there were no preprinted words in the card when he opened it. It was all hand written.
`Well, I am truly sorry this is all you got from me. I spent so much time trying to figure out if it was even a good idea for me to get you a gift anymore, much less find something that you liked. The sad thing was I didn't know if I could have found something that I knew you would have liked. Because I don't know what you like, among other things huh? Yeah, I know. That's mostly my fault. And you will never know how sorry I am for that. But anyway, that's not why I wrote this letter. I wrote it for the simple, if not extremely obvious reason. it is your birthday. 19. I am proud of ya. Who would have thought you could have gotten here? And all by yourself too. I guess you were always the strong one. Well, I just wanted to let you know I didn't forget your birthday or anything. I could never do that. No matter what happens, you will always be a part of my life, as I hope I am of yours. And I hope that you have a great time, and get everything that you want. Luv ya Curly. Don't forget that.
Joshua
P.S. It's all right. You don't have to say anything about the letter. Like I said, that is not why I wrote it. Just, do what you want to do for once. I know it has been tough, even before everything this year. So, just follow your head, and your heart.
Justin was shocked to say the least. He and Josh hadn't talked in so long. Or so it seemed. It had only been three days, but Justin couldn't count the conversation they had had in the office, or even the one he and Josh had before he had gone to LA. Those two talks had been both odd and tear shedding. Justin found himself falling back into his seat. He wasn't really surprised; his life was getting harder. Nothing new there. He couldn't be mad at JC after reading that. Not that he had much reason to be mad at him before. And he couldn't even take comfort in the fact him and Brian were friends, because he had played that before. It had yet to end well. All of sudden, being alone wasn't the comfort he had once run to.
"Justin? You awake?" AJ poked his head in between to curtains that secluded the back end of the plane. Justin turned his head and smiled at AJ. Thank God for small favors.
"Nope. Still asleep. Come back in about an hour." Justin smiled as AJ came in anyway.
"All right. I will." AJ sat right in front of Justin in the seat across from him.
"So, what can I do for you? I thought everyone was asleep. It was way too quiet out there." AJ laughed with him.
"Everyone else is. I am the only one awake. At least that I know of." Justin nodded. "Yeah, I thought I saw Brian bring you back here. I went to the front cabin and didn't see you, so I guess I had been right huh?" AJ laughed trying to talk to someone, anyone. He had been going out of his mind. Kevin just went straight to sleep when they switched planes, which left AJ to try and get to sleep himself. It didn't work. So he had been up for a couple hours already.
"What do you mean `Brian brought me back here'?" Justin asked knowing that would explain why he didn't remember getting there. He might have not gotten there all by himself.
"Well, when we switched planes we all had to be woken up. Has anyone ever told you that you are grumpy when you get up in the morning?" AJ laughed as he remembered Justin throwing a fit last night. Justin blushed. "Well, anyway, you wouldn't get up. Jason kept trying to yell, and shake you but you wouldn't budge. Kevin and me were laughing as hard as we could, well, as hard as we could at three o'clock in the morning. Brian was about to get off with everyone, but he heard what was going on. He came back and, after laughing at you, told Jason he would take care of it. He practically carried you on the plane. It was funny. Brian was like the only person you didn't try and swat away." Justin blushed more as AJ told the story. He smiled at the thought of Brian carrying him though.
"You mean he carried me?" Justin said trying to picture Brian doing this. He was after all so small and so short.
AJ continued to laugh. "Just about. I think you might have made two or three steps to help him once in awhile." AJ was smiling at the now completely red Justin.
"Oh, I had no idea. I don't even remember that. I will have to thank him when he wakes up. He is so sweet." Justin said looking out the window. `Maybe I can take comfort in Brian. We seem to be doing OK. I mean, he carried my on a plane. That has got to mean something right?' Justin smiled as he thought about that.
"Yeah, you would think he is sweet. Trust me, if you didn't like him so much, you would see the real Brian. Sweet my foot! Wait till you see him on tour. Then see how much you want him." AJ was laughing softly, letting Justin know he was just kidding about Brian. Justin looked at him seriously and waited for AJ to stop laughing. "What?" AJ looked innocently as he faced Justin.
"Can I ask you a question?" Justin's voice became that timid one that AJ had heard over the phone yesterday.
"Yeah, shoot."
"How did you know? I mean about how I feel for Brian?" Justin asked looking down. He didn't want to make it a big deal for one, because they were all going on tour together. He didn't want to make something go wrong with a bunch of guys he would be stuck with for six months. He also didn't want people to start thinking that he did feel for Brian. Jason had already suspected something between the two, and now AJ was certain of Justin's feelings. It wouldn't be so bad, but the chance of them being more than friends was a long shot right now. They were friends and that is where I think they both wanted to stay for awhile, despite their feelings for each other.
AJ sighed. "Well, honestly, it wasn't hard. Kevin and I both new there was something going on between you two. We didn't think it was romantic, but there was obviously something. We didn't really put the romantic thing in there until we both realized that you two had been in SF together. Brian told Kevin that he met a friend that he ended up going with. and falling in love with. And then you told me that you were in SF with a friend, and Kevin and me exchanged stories, and we came to the conclusion that you two were together. At least I did. Kevin, I think, still thinks there is some other reason. He says there is no way Brian could be gay. But that is what everyone said about us, and look where that went." The both laughed.
"So, it's cool with you? I mean my feelings?" AJ looked at him before getting up and seating in the seat right next to him.
"Of course. Why wouldn't it be?" He asked.
"Well, I dunno. I guess all of this is just new for me. I can't believe someone actually knows I am gay. I mean, so many people know now. Brian knows obviously, and I told Jason last night because he wants me at the meeting with you two, and I think Britney knows after running in on Brian and me when we were talking last night. I guess I just have that whole `everyone is really OK with it' thing going. Wow. Sorry." Justin said smiling and gave AJ a hug. AJ smiled and hugged him back. He was glad he could be there for his best friend.
"So, are you and Brian.?" AJ asked pulling him out of their hug. Justin looked at him as he settled back in his seat.
"Nah." Justin said shaking his head.
"Why not? I mean, Brian is gay right?" AJ knew he saw something between the two, but it might have only been friendship in Brian.
Justin shrugged. "I dunno." AJ looked at him and laughed.
"You are such a bad liar. Thank God you are a singer." They both laughed at that. "Really? Is he?" AJ still wanted to know if he was sure.
"Yeah, I guess." Justin looked down breaking the pact he made with himself last night when Jason asked the same question. He had said it was up to Brian to tell people, but Justin had to talk to someone, and the only person he could, or even wanted to talk to was AJ.
"Well, then why aren't you together?" AJ asked wanting to help his friends. Plus he thought of the advantages of having another couple on the tour. There were definite benefits to that happening.
"'Cause we tried that. After the first three hours it just got a little. it was just wrong." Justin hated the facts of that memory. He couldn't help but think he ruined that one time he had been truly happy in awhile. AJ saw this and took his hand.
"Sorry. I really need to learn to mind my own business. I shouldn't have asked." Justin shook his head.
"No, I am glad that I have someone to talk to now. Maybe my life won't seem so alone now." Justin had exposed apart of himself in that one sentence that he had never shared with anyone. By the time he had realized that that was how he felt he had pushed everyone away. AJ smiled at him and gave him a hug.
"Justin, I'm always here for ya. What can I say.? I love you." AJ looked Justin right in the face and then leaned back in his seat. He was glad he could say that and things be OK. He did love Justin. Even if it was the, more than friends but less than lovers thing.
"Same here Alex. Same here."
"So, what were you saying about some meeting with Kevin and me?" AJ asked as Justin started bursting out laughing. Ooops.
"Hey Kevin, you up?" Brian asked as he went and sat in the unoccupied seat next to his cousin.
Kevin groggily looked up. "What, were you waiting around behind me till you heard me make a sound? I have only been up like three seconds." Kevin smiled as he noticed the seat next to him held Brian, and not Alex. "Where's Alex?" Kevin asked.
"I am not sure. He must have gone back there with Justin. I didn't see him in the front cabin. That is where most of us finally settled in. Justin had the back alone, and not too many people were sure they wanted to be in this cabin with the two love birds." Brian smiled at his cousin. Kevin laughed. He was glad he cousin was taking the news of is relationship so well.
"So, you seem to be OK with me and Alex. I must say I am a little surprised." Kevin said casually as he saw a chance to realize some things about his cousin. Like how he really felt about him being gay, and then if Alex was right. Was Brian really gay? And with Justin?
"Kevin, you are my cousin, my family. I love you and that's not going to change. I am just happy that you found someone like AJ. At least it is someone I like." Brian joked as he looked on at Kevin. He saw Kevin smile and knew that there was no way that he couldn't be happy for Kevin and AJ. He just wished that he could be that happy. with Justin. At least that is what he thought he wanted.
"Thanks Brian. I hoped you would understand." Kevin asked preparing to ask his next question.
"Of course I would. I am hurt that you thought I wouldn't understand. I might not be in a relationship or anything, but I can see when other people are happy. And I don't begrudge anybody that has it, even if it is you." Brian did always know the right things to say. No matter who they were directed towards.
"So, we never did finish our talk the other night. I know I am the one who had to run off. But I can't run anywhere now. Still need some advice?" Kevin smiled at Brian who had started looking away from him. He knew something was up. Good or bad he didn't know, but Brian couldn't look at him only when he didn't want to tell Kevin something.
"Actually, I am a little better than I was the other night. But thanks?" Brian stopped there and Kevin knew right then that Brian would not bring any information to the table. It wasn't his style. He would wait until someone figured it out, or he would keep it bottled up. He never just came out and said things himself. Kevin had learned that growing up with him. It was always a pain to try and talk to him when he did that.
"You know. Alex thinks that Justin is gay. You and him seem to be close, at least you two were at the party, what do you think?" Kevin had become a little more timid towards Brian, but since Brian was the one that started the talk, he would make it about something. That was the only talks that really ever mattered between the two cousins. The ones where they both tried to express something real.
Brian looked Kevin right in the eye this time. "Why would you ask me? I didn't even know about you and AJ. Obviously I have no ability to tell if people are gay and straight." Brian's voice had raised a little, trying to make it sound like a joke more than fear, and he seemed to become a little more nervous. Kevin took that as the sign that AJ was right. Maybe he never wanted to see it before, but it was so clear to him as he looked at his cousin, who was obviously caught up with a 19 year old boy.
"Brian, how come you never told me?" Kevin asked silently, knowing Brian would get what he was saying. Brian looked down at his seat. He had just came to talk to Kevin because he was bored. He didn't know how he and Justin would do with friendship this time so he decided to stay away and let Justin talk to him first. So Kevin was his only option. He didn't really want a serious conversation. At least most of him didn't. I think a small part wanted to tell someone. No one wants to hide from everyone all the time.
"I didn't know for sure until just recently... until Justin. And even if I did, I would never had guessed you would react as calm as you are now. But of course I didn't know you and AJ." Brian trailed off nodding his head.
"Yeah."
"Did you ask if I knew Justin was gay because you thought him and I were." Kevin looked up and him again.
"Yeah, but only because Alex said something. I honestly didn't think that you and him were." Brian asked wondering if he had been so obvious.
"It's true." Brian said interrupting Kevin. "At least it was true. He was the one that I fell for in SF. The one I messed up with." Kevin and Brian were both nodding their heads thinking about the other night when Brian and Kevin had had their little talk. "But we are cool now. We are just friends. Just really good friends." Brian finally spoke ending the silence. He smiled at Kevin to let him know he was OK but didn't want to talk about it, and before they knew it, they were goofing off about the tour.
Germany is a beautiful country. Granted, it has a lot of history behind it, it still holds the beauty of an untainted land. Everyone could only take in the view of this land that they hadn't been to in so long. Justin and AJ found their way back to the second cabin to sit with Kevin and Brian. They all had interesting stories to tell about their Germany experiences, from Kevin and AJ's close calls to being caught, to Justin's fall and broken thumb. They laughed as the plane descended into Berlin.
"OK guys, we don't have a lot of time. The BSB and `Nsync have a quick interview to do before heading over to the arena they set us up at. We will all be doing sound checks and run throughs for the rest of the day for tomorrow night. We can get you all checked in at the hotel, which is right next to the stage area. But in two hours, we need the guys to meet in the lobby. There is a conference room at the hotel and we will do the interview there. Two hours. Do not be late. The rest of you guys can hang out and meet us at the arena at 5:30." With that, Jason directed the guys to the limos. Their luggage would be right behind then as always.
"Come in!" Justin yelled as he finished putting his clothes away. They would only be there three days, but Justin would not live out of a suitcase. He refused to. No matter how long they stayed some where, he always put his clothes away. Brian opened the door and walked in.
"I thought I saw you come in here. You are like all the way down the hall from me. It was a long walk just to get here." Brian smiled as Justin offered a seat to his friend next to him. They both sat on the bed now, having some time before they had to go down stairs
"Well, what did you expect? For us to be sharing rooms in a four star hotel where two floors are reserved for just us and our management team." Justin laughed as he thought that that might have not been the best thing to say to his ex-whatever they had been. Brian smiled, but only for a second before dropping it. Justin shook his head at himself. He was already starting to mess up.
"So, what are you doing after sound checks and all?" Brian asked timidly.
"I dunno. There is no telling when we will even get out of them. Why?" Justin was hoping that Brian was going where he wanted with this. Time alone to fix things like before. Either as friends, or as more.
"Well, I was kinda hoping that maybe you and I could go to dinner or something. I mean. only if you want to. I was just thinking that." Brian finally convinced himself to shut up. He looked at Justin who smiled at him.
"I would love to." Justin took Brian's hand and looked at him. He had a million things running through his head, debating if he should kiss Brian like he wanted, most saying yes. He may have even followed his own head if a knock on the door hadn't come. After the second knock, Justin sighed and let go of Brian's hand. Brian looked at him, thinking with his head that it was the best that they didn't kiss. But his heart only said that he was the one. How was he going to deal with this on going battle when he didn't even know which side to take?
"Hey Hey Hey." AJ said coming in the room as soon as the door was open. He looked at Brian and decided to stop there.
"Well, maybe I should go. I'll see you later Justin." Brian said quickly and walked out of the room. Justin only dropped his head, and AJ looked surprised.
"I hope I didn't drive him off. I'm sorry Justin." AJ said walking to the door. He saw the look on Justin's face and thought it wasn't the best time. "I guess I will see you later too." Justin looked up and smiled.
"Nah. You are fine. Brian is just.. dealing with things I guess. Same as me. But I will not let that dictate my life." Justin said pulling AJ to the seat that had juts held Brian.
"Wow. Dictate huh? Big words scare me you know? That is why I thought we would be great friends. who knew you used big words?" AJ teased Justin as Justin just looked at him.
"OK. Maybe you were right." AJ looked at him in confusion. "You should go." Justin said laughing as AJ frowned at him.
"Well, fine. Here I come to invite you to have dinner with, no other than me, and you blow me off." AJ was acted hurt, but just found an easier, and perhaps less odd way, of asking a friend to dinner.
"You want me to come to dinner with you?" Justin said feeling proud that that was his second invite in five minutes.
"That's what I said. And hey, I will even throw in Kevin to come with us. I know you can't resist now." AJ laughed.
"You know, you are so mean to him. I don't see how he puts up with your ass." AJ's mouth fell. "What?"
"You said a naughty word. I am shocked." Justin lightly pushed AJ to tell him shut up. "So, anyway, you wanna come?"
"Well, actually. I have already been invited to dinner tonight. By Brian." Justin wasn't sure if he should really say it like that. It made it seem like a date now, and it wasn't. They were just friends.
"Oh really. Justin's got date. Justin's got a date." AJ begin to repeat that in that little school girl voice that he did too well for him not to practice. lol
"See, I knew I shouldn't have said that. As soon as I said it, I knew it came out wrong. I told you, we are just friends. That's it." Justin stood up and went to the mini fridge. He pulled out two waters and tossed one to AJ. AJ smiled at him, knowing they were more than friends, he just wish they knew it.
"OK, I'm sorry. I am just havin' fun with ya. But maybe you should think about the date thing. Maybe that's what he wants it to be?" AJ had already opened his water and began to drink it. Justin still fiddled with the cap, wondering if that was how Brian had wanted it. "Well, listen. If he backs out, or it ends early, we will be in the hotel restaurant. Invitation stands all night long. And if the date doesn't end early." AJ knew he shouldn't say it, but he had to get Justin a little more comfortable around at least him. "Don't be too loud. Brian yells a lot, and you do have neighbors." AJ jumped off the couch as he saw Justin's face get the joke, but was out the door before he could see Justin move.
"Ok, so how are the groups getting along? Is the rivalry affecting either group yet?" All reporters were the same. That was something you learned early in the business. This interview was already into twenty minutes and not one originally question yet.
"Well, I personally don't know where this rivalry stuff comes from, but I have never felt it. We hardly ever even see the other guys for there to have been animosity before this tour. And we have all been getting to know each other know, and things have been great." Joey said tired of the battle between them that was never there. He didn't work this hard for his group to be known as the one fighting with the BSB. All the guys nodded I agreement.
"Alright, well, you know in fourteen days, Valentine's Day is here. How do each of you plan on spending it? Is anyone coming out here to see you?" That was a little bit better. Not everyone got to ask that question.
"Well, I am going to spend it with Mandy, my girlfriend." Nick started things off.
"With friends as always." Howie said, with agreement from Chris, Joey, and Lance.
"With the person I am seeing right now." Kevin said smiling at AJ.
"Ditto." AJ said like he was talking to Demi Moore in Ghost.
"I hope to be spending it with that special someone." Brian said, trying to keep his eyes off Justin. The reporter moved on with her eyes to JC not seeing Brian shy away from Justin.
"Alone." JC said simply. That had an effect on Justin's next words. He was going to say something cute, that would let Brian know, in a subtle, hard to get way, that he wanted to spend it with him, but JC stopped him. After the card, and everything else that they had endured together, he wasn't sure he could let JC be alone. Not like this. So when the reporter's eyes met his, all he could say was.
"Undecided." Justin looked down, not knowing what else to say. He looked up once and met AJ's eyes. They were sad, and almost disapproving, but AJ stayed silent. He knew he couldn't look at Brian. He wasn't stupid. He got what Brian was saying. He just wished he could say the same thing. The rest of the interview went by fast, letting the guys out 30 minutes early. Which put them at 5.
"So, I am going to take a quick nap. I will catch you guys in a half hour huh?" Nick laughed as he walked to the elevators. Everyone but Justin and JC followed him. JC was heading to the restaurant, and Justin started to follow him.
"Table for one please." JC said to the waitress standing at a podium. He didn't notice that Justin came up behind him.
"Two. he meant table for two." Justin said smiling at the lady, holding two fingers up. JC looked at Justin and wanted to smile but couldn't. He wasn't sure what this was going to be about. But Justin was starting this conversation so it might be better than last time.
"Oh, yes. Right this way please." She said in a thick accent, making her English almost undecipherable. The two men followed the women, not a word was said between them. The women took them to a side table that JC had directed her to, and she placed the menus down. She smiled and told them a server would be with them shortly. With that, she walked away and left them in silence.
"Thank you for the card. It was the best thing I could have gotten." Justin said smiling at JC. JC remained quiet though. Justin sighed and moved his chair closer. "Josh, I know I have behaved. like I have. Believe me, I wish I could take those things back. There are many things that have happened over the past month that I would love to take back." JC looked at him.
"Is it true? About you and Brian? I heard Kevin and AJ saying something about it at the party. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised. That explains the stuff at the meeting before we left." Justin couldn't help but blush. He wasn't really ready for that.
"It was. For like a day. But it didn't happen. Like the rest of my life, I screwed it up. So, it's not now." Justin answered truthfully, only wanting to end this thing between them. Silence wasn't working now, and lying never did, so that only left the truth.
"Oh." JC sat there, not knowing what to say next.
"Josh, don't make me think that this was a bad idea. Talk to me, please?" Justin asked taking JC's hand, much like he had taken Brian's. Brian flashed in his mind, but he pushed it away. This wasn't the time for him to have to debate his love.
"Maybe this was a bad idea. I mean, us as friends never would have been questioned before, and if it is now, that has to mean something." JC would have went on, but that was the time the waiter decided to join the boys.
"Excuse me sir. What can I get you two?" He said smiling. Justin looked at him and back to JC.
"I guess that is your decision. Maybe this is wrong." Justin got up and walked out of the restaurant. He knew one thing. it would not be him screwing that friendship up. JC wanted to run and make some scene that everyone would expect someone to do, and apologize and say let's be friends, or confess his undying love one more time and make Justin choose, but all he could do was sit there.
Brian was leaning on the wall next to Justin's door as Justin walked out of the elevator. He looked at Brian like he was a lost dog who had come back home when it started to rain. Brian noticed him and straightened himself up. He tried to look not so obvious, but they both knew that he was waiting.
"Hey." Brian said as Justin went to put his card in the door.
"Hey." Justin said. He extended an invite to Brian to come in, which he accepted. He stayed by the door though, and couldn't help but feel uneasy by the silence.
"So, where did you go downstairs?"
"Had to talk to JC real quick." Justin continued the honesty thing, as well has curiosity. He wanted to know how Brian would react, if he even would at all. Last time he reacted to JC, he broke things off, Justin was curious to know if things had changed.
"Oh. Well, how is he?" Brian said more uncomfortable. He had watched the guys file into their rooms for the next 30 minutes, all but Justin and JC. He didn't really register that JC hadn't returned either until he started thinking about that night. That night he and Justin were together. It had replayed in his mind a lot recently. Just the good part, no matter how short it had been.
"He is. I dunno anymore. I guess after what I did, I don't deserve to." Justin's voice tried to be cold, but hurt fell through.
"You say it as though you regret New Year's. Do you?" Brian asked as he looked on. It sounded to Brian like he was saying yes it did, but he didn't know. He had stopped trying to read Justin the day they met. He liked not knowing. At least he did then. Now, he could give anything to know.
Justin sighed and walked over to Brian, who still stood close to the door. "Brian, I." The phone interrupted Justin. "I have to get that." Justin turned to the phone. He walked away, leaving Brian standing there.
"Hello. Oh hey mom.. Yeah, I know. I am sorry. Yeah, I had a good Christmas.. Yeah, mom can you hold on a sec?" Justin held his hand over the phone and looked at Brian. "I am sorry, but I gotta take this." Brian nodded. "Hey Brian." Justin said, as Brian was about to walk out the door. He turned around and looked at Justin. "Tonight?" He said smiling. Brian smiled at him and nodded.
"Tonight." With that, he was out the door.
"Yeah mom. Sorry about that." He couldn't get away from her forever.
"OK. That's great girls. Very nice. So, let's do everything one more time with everyone, and we can go and get some sleep." Jason said as Innosense finished up their show.
Mandy took that as her cue and got up from Nick. She walked up and prepared to do her act first.
"AJ!" Amanda said running up behind him. AJ turned around just in time for him to get a big hug. "We didn't get to do that enough yet. Someone has been occupying all your time." She playfully looked at Kevin. Kevin blushed and started talking to the other guys. He knew better than to try and get between those two. They had to have time to themselves like any couple did. Only they were a couple.
"I know, but hey, ya gotta love him." AJ smiled.
"I guess if I gotta." She laughed. "So, what have you been up to?" Amanda knew she had a lot of catching up to do. She had been away from AJ too long.
"So, what happened to you? I went to your room to walk with you here, but you weren't there?" Lance asked as he and JC had found their way to the seats in the arena.
"Oh, I went to go eat something before coming here. And umm. Justin came to talk to me." JC said shyly not knowing if he should talk about that. He had finally told Lance everything he wanted to know, and Lance had been there for him just like before. He still felt a little weird talking about things though.
"And."
"And I messed up. I asked if the Brian thing was true." Lance looked at him, hearing the same things JC had at the party. "He said it was true. Well, used to be. He said it didn't work out. But I didn't know what to say after that. He asked me not to make him talking to me a bad idea, and I told him maybe it was." Lance looked down.
"JC, I am sorry. I know that was not the best way that could have gone." JC laughed sarcastically.
"No, it was not. But hey, maybe it was for the better? Who knows? Who cares? Let's go get ready Scoop." Even thought they had plenty of time, Lance followed JC, dropping the issue they left behind.
Mandy left and Britney came up in her place. That was the BSB's cue to go on and they went through the routine. Innosense came up to fill the time between the set changes for the next three performers. A short five-minute break and Christina and EYC were tearing up the stage. After that, `Nsync came and did their numbers. By the time all that had happened, it was close to 11. It was tough for the people who had just worked so hard for 6 hours to make it to the building next door. They all managed to find their rooms though, and their beds and it didn't take long for sleep to hit. By a quarter after, the only moment in the hall was Justin standing in front of Brian's door.
`It's late. I saw their show. It was exhausting. I mean, it's just dinner with me. He would rather sleep I am sure.' Justin was the one pacing outside the door now. He didn't know if they were still on. It was late, and neither one of them expected to be this tired. He hadn't decided to stay or go when he started knocking. By then though, the choice was made.
"Hey. I was hoping you would come by. I wasn't sure you still wanted to come. Jason was on the go today." Brian laughed inviting Justin in. Justin had managed to clean himself off and change, but Brian was still in the process. He was putting on his necklace and belt when Justin entered.
"Well, I wouldn't want you to miss an opportunity of a night with me. That would be wrong." Justin laughed. Brian had finished and was walking over to Justin now. He stuck out his elbow and smiled.
"Shall we?" Justin smiled back and wrapped his arm around Brian's.
They laughed their way to the elevator. When the doors to their floor shut, Justin's arm was still wrapped with Brian's. Justin found himself leaning to his left and putting his head on Brian's shoulder.
"You know, I haven't felt this safe in awhile. Since that night when we woke up like this." Justin said whispering. Brian looked down at the head that took over his shoulder and wrapped his other arm around Justin. They stayed that way until they reached the lobby. The separated quick when the doors opened, even though it was too late for anybody to be coming up. The walked over to the hotel bar. It was open 24 hours, opposed to the real restaurant that closed at 10. They walked in and sat right down. Justin noticed that Kevin and AJ were no where to be seen. Good thing he didn't take their dinner invitation.
"Well, I hope this goes better than my last meal at the hotel's expense." Justin was nervous. That probably wasn't what he wanted to say, bringing up JC and all, but he was nervous. Brian smiled and handed him a menu.
"You know. I am glad you said yes. I wasn't sure if you would. I didn't know if this was past friendship or whatever." Justin smiled as he found Brian as nervous as him. "So, what did your mom say?" Brian asked about the phone call that had driven him away earlier that day.
"Oh, she was just calling because we haven't talked in so long. She wanted to wish me a happy birthday and all that. She said next time I see her, she will make it more family orientated. I know I can't wait." Justin said with sarcasm as he remembered past birthdays. Even when he turned 18, she still wanted to throw a party like 10 years ago. He smiled. The waiter came soon and took their orders. Brian had led Justin to a booth in a corner. Justin smiled when he realized that they were out of sight. The waiter turned a close corner after he had taken their orders and that was the only way to see them. There was a silence between them as they stole looks from each other and turned away. Every time they caught each other looking to they would laugh. It finally stopped when Justin spoke.
"About New Year's, there is nothing I regret about that. I was glad how I spent it, and I was glad with who I spent it. The only thing I regret is messing up with you, and JC. But that was all my fault, and not yours. I don't regret anything when it comes to you. Not about that, not about us." Justin had gone back to the question he left unanswered by the thankful ring of a telephone by his mother. Brian smiled as he remembered the question, as well as being happy with Justin's answer.
"I agree." Brian said simply while drinking the water that had been sat before them. The silence returned, and so did the looks, but neither of them minded. It was cute. The food arrived, and small talk intervened every once in awhile, but nothing major. The shared jokes when their plates were taken up, and Justin never noticed Brian's small nods and gestures to the waiter. He never really thought about it until the waiter and a cake followed Brian's last nod.
"Oh, no. please tell me you did not." Justin laughed as the waiter sat the cake down. "Thank you so much." Justin was looking at the waiter, but he meant it for Brian, and Brian knew it. The man smiled and nodded to Brian. He then walked away to leave the two alone.
"I know you didn't think I would forget your birthday. Just because I haven't said it all day, doesn't mean I didn't remember. Happy Birthday Justin." Brian leaned over and kissed Justin's cheek. He may have not been sure about dinner, but he knew that was a step over the friendship line. But it was a step in the direction he wanted to go. Justin smiled and, before letting Brian fall back in his seat, kissed him back. They both smiled and Justin looked down at the cake.
"I wish you wouldn't have let me eat dinner, I am stuffed. There is no way I can eat cake too. You better still have room." Justin laughed and started cutting a piece for himself and Brian. Brian took this moment to reach under the table and pull up a bag. It was a small bag, with no outer markings on it. Justin looked up from the cake to see it sitting in the middle of the table, and Brian looking out the window next to him.
"Brian, you didn't have to." Brian nodded.
"Of course I did. It's you birthday." Justin nodded with him and took the bag. It was stapled shut, even if Brian was gay, he could still warp like a straight guy. Justin smiled as he thought of that and carefully pulled back each of the three staples. Inside was a velvet blue box. Justin looked up at Brian and looked shocked. His mind couldn't help but jump to many conclusions. Brian smiled and urged him to open it. Justin took out the box and he sat the empty bag on the table. He twisted the box to face him, and placed his right had over the top. He looked at Brian one more time before opening it. He looked down, and there lay a silver North Carolina Tar Heels. It looked bright against the dark blue velvet it rested on. Justin smiled and took it out. He placed the box down and removed his silver chain he always wore. It held a big charm with his name on it, but he slid that off and replaced it with a new one. Right when he was about to put back on his neck, he looked at Brian and handed him the chain.
"Put it on for me?" Justin asked looking deep in Brian's eyes. He couldn't believe Brian had done something like this for him. It was truly the best thing he could thing of. He felt so happy that Brian would thin of him for this. He felt so. loved. Brian stood up and smiled. He walked over to Justin, who had stood up out of the booth, and went behind him. He placed his arms around Justin and took hold of the chain. He had to stand a little higher to get over Justin, Brian being a little shorter than him. He placed it on and Justin and Justin turned around. "So, how does it look?" Justin asked softly.
"Beautiful." Brian said simply.
"Well, thank you for giving it to me." Justin said smiling. Brian looked at him.
"I wasn't talking about the necklace." Brian's hand found Justin's cheek and he moved his thumb up and down it. Justin's face tilted into his hand and let it rest there. "This isn't really friend stuff is it?" Brian asked softly, moving ever closer to Justin.
"Does it matter?" Justin was also moving closer.
"It depends on what you want?" Brian wanted to make sure no one was backing out this time.
"Well, what do you want?" Justin asked scared this was all a dream. He had been here before and never got it right. This was going smoothly though. It couldn't be real.
"This." With that Brian moved in a fell onto Justin's lips. He brought up his other and placed it on the opposite cheek. He tilted his head along with Justin and there were their lips sharing another moment. Justin brought his arms up to Brian's waist and let them pull Brian closer. The line where one ended and the other began was vague, but they felt as one anyway. When Justin pulled back Brian stared back.
"I want this too." Justin smiled at Brian. "But not here. come on." Justin let his hand fall to Brian's and he intertwined their fingers. Justin pulled Brian ahead out of the bar. He made sure no one was looking as he made their way towards the elevators. Brian smiled, still a little shocked. He didn't expect for Justin to react this way. He wasn't going to stop it though. He also had his doubts that this would work out any better than it had before, but something that feels so right to a person can't be stopped, even when it's wrong.
As soon as the elevator doors were shut, Justin was back on Brian's mouth. Brian was taken back a little but made no effort to stop him. He had wanted this for to long. He had gone all his life being single, the occasional date but never anything. serious. This mattered to him, this was what he wanted to be serious. And he knew Justin felt the same way. He felt that in his kiss. They stumbled out of the elevator once it reached their floor, still kissing each other passionately. Luckily no one was in the hall, but they didn't care. They were both too caught up in each other to care about the world around them. Somehow, Brian had directed Justin to his door, and quickly slid the key card in. The door was shut soon after it was opened, allowing them both passage inside. Brian may have gotten them to his room, but Justin was making all the moves after that. He was the one pushing towards the bed, roaming his hands over Brian's chest. This was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to either one of them. He just wanted to make it right.
Brian finally found himself backed up against the bed so he fell, taking Justin with him. Justin fell on top of him, but never did he break their kiss. He was too into it now. They both were. His hands, still roaming Brian's chest, soon found each button to the dark green shirt that Brian wore. Brian felt each button become undone, only making his hands go to Justin to do the same. Justin had managed to get Brian's shirt unbuttoned, but Brian's hand were too busy to let it just slip off. He lay there with his bare chest exposed to Justin, his shirt laying to the sides. Justin's kisses soon found their way down Brian's neck, making their way to the newly exposed skin. Brian was still trying with Justin's buttons, trying to contain himself the whole time. Justin was sending shivers down his body that it was hard to concentrate on anything but what was being done to him.
Justin continued his course down, meeting Brian's chest. He sat up to take a better look at what lay under him. Brian looked at him, not knowing if he had done something to scare Justin off. Justin smiled at him and helped him with his shirt. He slid it off easily and threw it to the sides. He then went back down and started back on Brian's neck. Brian sighed in pleasure, as he ran his hands through the boy's curly hair. It felt so soft running between his fingers, as Justin's tongues turned circles on Brian's delicate skin. Justin had been moving his way steadily down, passing by Brian's scar, his nipples, and then his belly button. When he got down that far he started making his way back up. He could feel that his hard on was raging, and Brian's had been steadily hitting his leg every time he moved, but this was all new to him. He wasn't sure what he was getting into. He didn't want to go too far too fast. Brian's hands started moving much like Justin's mouth, going over the other person's body. It was Brian's turn to run his hands around the muscular chest of his partner. Justin sat up for Brian, making it easier for Brian to feel. He straddled Brian's waist, feeling exactly where Brian wanted to go with this. He started to get scared. Brian's fingers roamed around Justin's nipples, then making a straight line down to his belly button. Brian looked at Justin and smiled as he put both his hands on the bare chest. Justin bit his lower lip, and turned away from Brian. He didn't want Brian to see the fear in his eyes; he didn't want to mess this up. He knew Brian wanted this. He knew it would help them be together. That was what he wanted. Even if this was the way to get it. Brian began making his way down the trail of hair Justin had going from his stomach that disappeared in his loose fitting jeans. Right when Brian felt the button of the jeans his hands pulled away. He looked at Justin who still was turned away from him. He sat up on his elbows and looked at Justin.
"Justin?" He said softly, speaking the first word since they entered the room. Justin's head turned back, and Brian could see that Justin was unsure. He was too.
"Brian." Justin started seeing that Brian knew his true feelings. "I want this. I want to be with you. I. I do love you. But, please don't take this the wrong way, but I am."
"Scared?" Brian said touching Brian's sweet face. He sat up now, still holding Justin in his lap. Justin nodded looking down. He didn't want to seem like a tease or anything, and he didn't want Brian to get mad because he had stopped them, he couldn't help it though. Brian wrapped his arms around Justin and hugged him.
"I love you to. And if this is not what you want right now, I understand. I am. kinda scared myself. Looks like we both have a lot to learn." Brian said taking Justin's hand in his own. Justin nodded again. "But. Justin, I wanna learn it together. With you. I don't mean now, but sometime down the road, I want us to be here. With each other. I want us to be together. I love you and I know you love me. Forget the friend stuff, forget all the other people, this is just us. Plain and simple. Let me and you, be me and you?" Brian knew the moment was gone, that gave him the opportunity to make Justin his first `boyfriend.' Justin smiled and Brian and hugged him tight.
"I'll take that as a yes." Brian said into Justin's shoulder as he still held on tight.
"Of course it is a yes. I am just sorry it took us this long to get to it." Justin smiled sliding off Brian's lap and sitting next to him on the bed. "Well, it's late. I should get going. We have to do rehearsals tomorrow afternoon, so at least we will be able to sleep in." Brian nodded not wanting Justin to go. Justin took Brian's hand on more time for the night and leaned in again. "I love you." Justin gave Brian one more deep, loving kiss before getting up.
"Call me tomorrow and maybe we can do something together or something." Brian said shyly as Justin walked to the door.
"Sure thing. Bye." He said leaning against the door. Brian was tempted to run and beg him to stay but he resisted the temptation. He settled with saying I love you a couple of times before finally releasing Justin. After that he fell back on his bed, trying to make sense of that night. He didn't do all that to get Justin to be with him, just to tell his friend Happy Birthday. He wasn't going to argue about this new revelation though.
`Justin,
Guess I cam too late. I got no answer at your door. I'll take that as a sign you and Brian went to dinner. Kev and I decided to just head to bed, but if you need me bad enough; you know where to find me. Good luck. I hope things pan out, whatever way you decide to go. Call me tomorrow and tell me what's up. Look forward to hearing from ya!
Love Always,
Alex
P.S. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I already know what you are getting tonight for your birthday. If you recall our shopping day together, you will finally get to know what was in my bag. I owed Brian a favor. He called it in. Just hope you like it, and I hope you enjoyed yourself.'
He smiled as he read the note taped to his door. He was truly glad this tour had started off the way it had. The only problem was JC, and he refused to let that be his problem. He tried. There was nothing else he could do. But he and Brian were going to really try this time, and he had a best friend that he knew he would always be able to run to. He walked into his room, with the phone blinking. He knew the messages were probably just birthday greetings and decided to hold off until tomorrow. He was too tired to deal with that stuff now. He undressed quickly and fell into bed. His last thoughts before sleep were those that finally hit him as to what had happened that night. And then he couldn't help but wonder, what would happen tomorrow.
Justin looked at he clock as it turned to 8 o'clock. He had been up for almost two hours, and he was going stir crazy. He had cleaned his room, taken a shower, gotten dressed, and even took a walk around the hall. Now, nothing was left for him to do but wait. He waited for someone to finally get up. He waited for Brian to get up. He didn't want to call Brian and wake him up, because he didn't want to look desperate. But he did want to talk to Brian. He just wanted to be with Brian.
"Hey Justin, you up?" Justin heard a voice coming through the door. He smiled as he walked over to open the door. There stood AJ, all showered and shaved, and alone.
"Hey AJ, come on in." AJ nodded and came in.
"Hey. I was hoping you were up. I swear Kevin could sleep forever if someone would let him. It gets boring after the first hour." AJ joked crashing down on Justin's couch. He turned on the TV and found some cartoons real quick. The volume was low but he could still hear what was going on. Justin smiled and went to sit next to him. "So, how did last night go?" AJ said casually, but smiling evilly as he said it. Justin blushed and lay back.
"It was." Justin let the memories flush over him quickly before going on. "Great." AJ smiled.
"Really. I didn't even wake up." AJ teased once again and Justin laughed hard with him this time.
"No, you pervert. Not that great." Justin wanted to add, `but it came pretty close,' but decided he would save that conversation for another time.
"So, do I dare guess that maybe your undecided vote for Valentine's has been swayed?" AJ said liking the whole matchmaker game. Brian needed happiness, that had been evident long before Justin entered the picture. And if Justin's personality was always like one he encountered the first night he met Justin, then he knew things could have been changed there too. Now he could be able to fix both those problems at the same time. Justin smiled and nodded as he started to answer AJ's question.
"Yeah. Brian helped, but someone else really made that decision." AJ wanted to ask what he meant, but he thought it was best to leave some things for couples to deal with. "Brian gave me the gift last night. Thank you by the way." Justin smiled giving AJ a quick hug.
"And." AJ made it clear he wanted to know everything. Justin continued to fill AJ in on the events last night, leaving out the details of the after dinner activities. AJ laughed as Justin told it, happy Justin didn't decide to be stuck with Kevin and himself. Justin and AJ stayed together pretty much all day, until everyone got up and called everyone else. It took awhile for that to happen. AJ spent time talking with Justin about his birthday and his family. He was glad to hear that his mom called. Justin was eager to know all about how things started for him and Kevin, and everything else. He was after all in the same situation. Kevin finally called over to Justin's around 1, looking for AJ. AJ talked to him but he decided to stay. Kevin told him that everyone was meeting in the lobby in two hours, and then left AJ alone with Justin. He couldn't help but feel rejected by Alex's choice to stay with Justin, and a little jealous.
He understood though. AJ had always led a sheltered personal life, which only got worse when he had to distance himself from the guys because of his relationship with Kevin. Kevin was the only person he had ever really had to turn to. Nobody wants to think they have just one person. And Kevin knew he couldn't expect AJ to be just his. He would be in many ways, but he also had to have a life outside of Kevin. He was just glad he had found Justin, or at least someone.
Brian called a little after Kevin, but he still got the same answer. Brian was cool though. Him and Justin had just started dating, and even then they were only kinda together. Brian wasn't really sure how official it was. But Brian didn't expect to spend every waking moment with him. Plus, him and Justin had already made plans to get together. They were still on for the party after the concert for Joey and Justin's birthday.
So by three o'clock, everyone had found their way down to the lobby thanks to Kevin's calls. The seven groups collided, and agreed to go and do something real quick before the show to relax. The sound checks were good enough to be able to chill out for the afternoon. They didn't know what they wanted to do, but luckily there was a bowling alley near the hotel to help them decide. It was cheesy, and bowling (I don't care what people say is not a sport!) was a little blas^Â, but they had fun anyway. They all laughed together as some of the people made strikes, while others fell on their faces. Who would have thought it, but Mandy Moore, the youngest of the group, came out with 90, sadly the best score. It was great though. These 19 people were trying their best to get close.
The concert was incredible. Like it could be otherwise with all the talent left in one open space with millions of fans. They all went through the moves, the songs, and the jokes in between. The fans loved it. Luckily there was no meet and greet afterward, like there was at many concerts, so everyone proceeded to the lobby of their hotel at the end. It was the time that two of the `Nsync guys had waited for. It was time for everyone to acknowledge Justin and Joey's respective birthdays.
"Oh right! It is about time somebody said something about my birthday. I was starting to feel real neglected." Joey burst through the door to a big room with a joke. The room had been done up early, with a scattered arrangements of balloons and party favors. The party was really just everyone getting together to dance and goof around. No one had planned the get together before they left for Germany, or the bowling trip hours ago. These had been spur of the moment things to help. When the party had been planned, that was supposed to have been the first chance everyone had to meet. It would go a lot smoother now that everyone was pretty good friends.
"Hey Justin. I got you a hug for your birthday, wanna come and get it." Christina Aguleria joked as she walked up to Justin. Justin stood at the bar, drinking a Dr. Pepper. He put it down and walked over to his friend.
"Chrissy! It's the best thing I have gotten." Justin said sarcastically hugging the friend he hadn't really talked to in awhile. He hadn't really talked to her, since their younger days together.
"You remember what I said about that name?" Christina said smiling at Justin. He nodded and smiled.
"Oh yeah. You used to say you hated that name." Justin laughed not getting where this was going.
"Yeah well." Christina dropped the smile. "It still applies." She hugged Justin one more time before wishing him a happy b-day and going to dance to the music. Everyone came up to both the birthday boys and wished the same. And they exchanged birthday greetings to each other. The most interesting greeting Justin got though came from Britney.
"Hey Justin." She said shyly standing behind the now older man. Justin turned around and looked at his friend. He still hadn't really talked to her seriously about what she saw in the airport terminal. He hadn't had the time, or explanation. He didn't feel he owed her a reason to the situation. They hadn't been close in a long time, and what he was going through shouldn't just be shared with any stranger. But he cared for a lot at one time, and had always considered her a friend, even though she had become more of an acquaintance.
"Oh, hey Britney." He walked up to her and she hugged him.
"Happy birthday." She said as kissed him on the cheek. Justin could only think that she felt a little nervous.
"Thanks. Are you OK?" He said trying to smile while pulling back from her. She nodded and put her hand up to her shoulder.
"Just can't believe you are 19. That seems so far away from the little boy who used to." Britney laughed as she thought about it. "Who used to sing Cry For You with JC and." Britney looked away. "Well, anyway. It was a long time ago. Look at this party though, aren't you lucky?"
"Britney, can we talk?" Justin said not responding to the question she left. She nodded and grabbed his arm.
"After you birthday boy." She waved her hand and smiled at Justin. He smiled back and walked with her out of the room. "Listen, I know we have grown apart, and we both have been really busy, but we were pretty tight once. If you need me I'm here." Britney said walking out of the room into the deserted lobby. She could tell that Justin wanted to talk to her. Justin nodded.
"Britney, we haven't really had a chance to talk about. I mean when you came out of the terminal in Florida, and me and Brian were there." Britney shook her head.
"Justin. I never would have thought it. I mean, we did used to date. Guess I know why we broke up." Justin was needless to say surprised at Britney's candor. He looked at her and showed his surprise. "Justin, come on, you are not the first gay guy I've known. I am usually good at figuring this out long before I see one of them crying over another though. So, what happened? Did he break your heart? Is he straight? Want me to take him out?" Britney tried to joke and make Justin smile. She did. He still remained silent though. "Well." Justin shook his head.
"No, you don't have to take him out. We need him for the shows." Justin returned the joke trying to make fun of this situation. He didn't like the fact he had been so obvious, that could be fatal later on. And he didn't like the fact that someone could put things together so easily just by seeing them together. He was kinda worried where that would leave them when things did get serious. But Britney was working on calming him down.
"Well, as long as that is all we need him for." Britney smiled at her insinuation. Justin sighed.
"God, you are just like AJ. You are all sick." He threw up his hands for emphasis. Britney looked at him as he said that.
`I should have guessed AJ and Kevin would know.' She thought. "So are you and Brian." Britney was cut off by a throat clearing behind her.
"Justin, you can't go running out on our party!" Joey exclaimed as he came bursting through the same doors Justin and Britney had. Justin nodded.
"I'll be in there in a sec Joe." He said laughing at his friend. He was happy.
"Well, we should get back in there." Britney got up and waited for Justin to join her.
"Yeah, but Brit." Britney turned to look at him. "Yeah." He said simply and turned to the room. Britney smiled as she got her answer.
"Happy Birthday to you." Everyone sang pointing to Joey. "Happy Birthday to you." Everyone sang pointing to Justin this time. "Happy Birthday to both of you Joey and Justin." Everyone sang trying to fit in all the syllables in the tune. "Happy Birthday to you." Everyone laughed and clapped.
"You know, for there to be so much singing talent in this room, that was awful." Joey said laughing at everyone. That's when the gifts starting coming. Joey got tons of Superman stuff and CDs, and Justin got the same, but Tar Heels stuff and shoes instead of Superman. JC's card ran through Justin's mind, and the early exit that JC had made after the song made him think as he continued to open stuff. He tried to keep his mind off of it but it was hard. The thing that really brought him out of it was AJ's gift. It was some CDs he wanted, and a card. But he also gave him a little bracelet with a charm that matched the one Brian had given him to go on it. The card was the sweet thing though.
Justin,
Seems like I am always writing you notes huh? Whether it's on doors or cards. But anyway, I know that we have only been friends a short time, but you are my best friend. I really enjoy our time together and I honestly don't know what I'd do with out you. You are one of the coolest people I know. And I am glad that you are going to have a good birthday. You deserve it. Well, hope you like the gift, and I hope you get everything else you want. If you need me, you know I will always be here for ya bro.
Love Always, Alexander
Justin immediately ran over to thank AJ for the gift. It kinda hurt him that none of the `Nsync guys, his best friends and family, hadn't given anything to move him like that, but he knew they had all changed as a group. He dropped those thoughts and turned to Brian. Justin smiled and looked towards Brian. He was clapping and carried a smile like everyone else, but his head was looking out the window. Justin's eyes followed Brian's and saw the sky outside. He jumped off the table he had Joey sat at and went to Brian, the crowd cheering on Joey.
"Beautiful night isn't it?" Justin said softly standing next to Brian. Brian jumped a little, but smiled at Justin.
"Well I have to say it just got better." Justin blushed a quickly took Brian's hand. He gave it a squeeze before letting it fall once again. "So, are you done opening all your presents?" Brian asked smiling. Justin looked at him and nodded.
"Yeah, I got some great stuff. And Alex got me a bracelet with a charm that matches the one you gave me. It was really sweet. He is such a great guy. Kevin's lucky." Brian nodded in agreement. Justin looked at him and realized that might have been a little rude. Brian was his boyfriend now, he shouldn't been talking about how great some other guy is. He quickly fixed the situation. "And so am I." He said smiling. Brian smiled and turned to look at him.
"Well, come on then. You have one more present. But I didn't think I should bring it down for everyone to see. It's a little personal." Justin blushed again.
"Brian, for one you didn't have to get me anything else. I love the gift you already gave me. It was great. That's all I need. That and you." Brian smiled and grabbed his arm.
"Just come on." The two left the party not really noticed by many. AJ caught a glimpse and sighed but didn't let anyone else in on it.
"Brian, where are we going?" Justin said as the entered the elevator.
"I'm so tired." Brian said not answering Justin. Justin let the question fall.
"I am too. That concert was intense. And long. I thought it would never end. But at least it was fun. And I am glad we get to all be together. I have missed a lot of these people." Brian nodded, trying to keep Justin's attention from where he was taking him.
"Yeah, I know what you mean. AJ was so happy when he heard Amanda was coming. I do believe they would be together if. things were different you know. They love each other a lot. Even if it is not romantic." Justin looked at the panel and noticed they were heading to the roof.
"Brian, the roof? Why are we going to the roof?"
"You know, Kevin got a call today. Since we our next couple of concerts are in Germany, and then we don't have anything till we go to France, we don't have anything for Valentine's Day. So management have the BSB going to this interview on that day. So, this is my birthday and Valentine's Day thing for us. If you want it and all?" Brian said hating the fact that he had learned earlier today. He wanted that day for him and Justin, so they could talk and be with each other. It took so much from them to get together that neither had a chance to ask the other where they wanted it to go after that.
"Oh. I am sorry, I didn't know." Brian shook his head.
"It's not your fault. I just hate the fact that me and you won't be able to be together." Justin nodded in agreement. His thoughts for V-day were much the same as Brian's. The elevator finally hit the roof and Brian put his hands over Justin's eyes from behind. "Do you trust me?" Brian asked inches from Justin's ear. His hands moved up and down as Justin nodded in silence. "Then right this way." Brian's feet were right behind Justin's; pushing Justin's where he wanted them to go. He led them to a table that Justin still couldn't see right on the railing of the hotel. It was an impressive view to eat from. When he got close enough to the table, he stopped his hands still over Justin's eyes. "I hope you like this. It wasn't easy trying to arrange this without people asking too many questions. But I had all day since someone didn't want to spend time with me." Brian joked.
"Brian, it is not that I didn't want to spend time with you, it's just." That was the time when Brian chose to remove his hand and let Justin see his work. It was a little round table, just big enough for two. It had two high candlesticks on it, on each side of a vase with a single rose, died baby blue. It had two plates with some pasta and chicken on it, silverware and all. Justin was shocked. "Brian, this is great. I can't believe you did all this." Brian took Justin's hand and took him to a seat. He pulled out Justin's chair and let him seat. Justin smiled and went along with this. Brian sat across from him and smiled.
"I guess this is our thing huh? Having dinner together I mean." Brian remembered last night vividly. He couldn't say he would have minded eating with Justin every night.
"Well, maybe it could be now. I can't say I would argue." Justin smiled. They both starting eating forgetting the world and everything but each other.
"So, is this party over or is it just beginning?" Joey asked as he saw people going to sit down.
"Joey, it is almost 1 o'clock. We are tired. I think it is over. You and Justin have had your fun." Lance said as he sat down too.
"Where did Justin go anyway?" Chris asked just noticing his missing friend.
"Yeah, and JC? And Brian?" Howie began realizing that this group was a little smaller.
"Guess they decided they were too tired. It is getting late." Kevin said trying to protect his cousin as well as the others. That answer seemed to satisfy the questions. "Well, I am going to head out. See you guys later." Kevin said taking AJ's hand. He had held it all night, and was very happy he could do so without anyone minding. AJ nodded letting Kevin know he would be joining him. They both walked out, followed by others signaling the end of the birthday bash.
"That was nice of you." AJ said standing in the elevator with just Kevin.
"What was that?" Kevin said wrapping his arms around AJ's waist.
"Lying for Brian and Justin."
"Well, I am sure they need their time to get everything together." Kevin said starting to kiss AJ's neck. AJ leaned his head back, making it easier for Kevin. "Alex, are you tried?" Kevin asked between kisses.
"Come on Kevin." AJ said simply, knowing what Kevin was asking. The elevator stopped and AJ took Kevin's hand. He led them to their hotel door in silence. Kevin lightly pushed AJ against the door before they could get in. Kevin grabbed AJ's waist and pulled it to him.
"Alex, I love you." He said quietly before putting his lips on his lover. AJ opened the knob with his hand behind his back while Kevin kissed him. They stumbled in a little but they managed to get in and close the door. Kevin let their kiss go and pulled AJ to the bed that awaited them. AJ let himself be pulled in whatever way Kevin was taking him, not really evident to everything happening to him. AJ mind kept flashing to Justin and Brian walking out of the party. He noticed the hand holding and flirty glances. He didn't know why, but that was all he could think about. Kevin continued with AJ, not knowing what was running through AJ's head. He lay AJ under him on the bed, and climbed over him. He began by removing AJ's pull over sweater before removing his own. He looked down at AJ who looked back at him.
"Kevin," AJ said quietly from under his love. "Make love to me." He said pulling Kevin down so he was right on top of him, the line between the two now distorted. Kevin looked and him with concern.
"Are you sure?" Kevin asked wondering what had changed. Kevin and AJ had been together sexually. Twice as a matter of fact. But AJ was still technically a virgin. He had been in Kevin, but it had never been vice versa. Kevin never pressured him either, but now AJ was asking him for it. He saw AJ nod.
"Kevin, I love you." Kevin nodded.
"I know you do. You don't have to do anything to prove that."
"I know. I want this." That was for the most part true. AJ was scared, he couldn't deny that. He may have even continued to wait a little longer, but Justin was running through his mind when Kevin was kissing him. He thought back to the time when Justin stood shuffling in the hallway before his kissed him. He had been so sweet then. He then flashed to the memory of Justin walking out of the party on Brian's hand. He had sighed then. He didn't want them to go. He didn't know why, but he did. If he had wanted to admit it, he could say he was jealous or Brian, or nervous for Justin, but he didn't want to admit anything. He wanted to forget it all. And Kevin would make love to him for that reason. Whether he knew it or not.
Kevin began kissing his way down AJ's chest, his hands working on AJ's pants. AJ sighed letting Kevin do whatever he wanted. He just wanted to be with Kevin. To prove to himself that he loved Kevin as much as he wanted to. Kevin didn't take long in getting AJ's pants off, and soon AJ lay under him in just his boxers. Kevin moved back up and concentrated on AJ's mouth now, wanting to be with AJ. Kevin slowly brought his hands up and began to run them up AJ's legs. AJ moaned loudly, Kevin's hands driving him crazy. Kevin had learned long ago what would drive AJ wild, he just wished he got to use it more often.
AJ decided to do more than just lay there, and began following Kevin's example and went to Kevin's black pants. He unbuttoned his jeans and tried to pull them down with Kevin's arms still guiding up to AJ's raging penis. "Here, let me help you." Kevin said sitting back up on AJ. AJ smiled and watched Kevin do a little strip show, not stopping at the black pants that AJ had been working on. Before long, Kevin stood in front of AJ completely naked. He climbed back into bed, and looked at AJ. "Alex, are you sure you want to do this?" Kevin asked still worried.
AJ didn't give any verbal answer, as he pushed Kevin lightly enough for Kevin to fall on his back. AJ jumped up on top of him and began kissing him with extreme passion. Kevin was the one letting anything be done to him now, as he thought of AJ never kissing him like that before. Kevin watched as AJ moved down his exposed body, making few stops on his way to Kevin's own raging hard on. Kevin was too caught up in the immense pleasure to worry about the lack of romance to compensate for speed. AJ soon found himself `head to head' and he stared down. This was definitely not the first time he was doing this, but it seemed different with so much running through his head. He eagerness to forget led him to plow down straight on the cock that awaited him. Kevin let out a loud groan as AJ's mouth wrapped around his member.
He looked down to see AJ's head go up and down, feeling his tongue swirl around his head. Kevin noticed that it was not just AJ's kiss that had changed. He had never felt anything like this from AJ before. AJ kept the rhythm going, knowing exactly how long it would take for Kevin to explode. He kept his hands roaming all over Kevin's chest, never letting his lips fail in their quest. Kevin's hands soon found AJ's; intertwining their fingers while AJ gave his all to please Kevin. As soon as Kevin felt he should warn AJ, AJ stopped and moved back up to kiss Kevin once again.
"Kevin, I am ready. I want you. to make love to me. Right here, right now." AJ's hoarse voice came over as more of a question than a command, but Kevin obeyed anyway. He pushed AJ up, who was now sitting on Kevin's lower chest, still in his boxers. He sat up over Kevin on his knees, and slowly slid he remaining clothing from his body. Kevin couldn't help but stop a minute to admire the body he had found attractive so long ago. It was complementary to the personality and soul that kept him in love for the past year, and hopefully more to come.
Kevin snapped out of his trance by taking his hands on top of AJ's waist. AJ let go, knowing this was all up to Kevin now. Kevin didn't fail though, positioning AJ right where he needed to be. Kevin hated to be redundant, but his eyes asked Alex one more time before he could go on. AJ didn't answer, but went on himself, without Kevin. He slowly inched down, coming in contact with the cock he had just got wet for this occasion. He jerked quickly when he felt his hole, touch the head of Kevin's penis. Kevin looked at him shake it off, and go down once again. He didn't get scared this time as he continued long after he felt himself be penetrated. He screamed, no more in pleasure, but pain. Kevin knew what he was going through, having to go through it the first two times, the only two times, they had made love. He still held AJ's hand, squeezing it harder each time AJ went down. AJ tried as hard as he could not to feel the pain in this thing he had done to Kevin before. He hated to think he put anyone through this. He had just wanted to forget him. He just didn't want to be thinking of someone else, when he was with the man he loved. But at least it had worked; Justin no longer occupied his mind. Not even was the pain part of him after long. Once he sat completely down, having every part of Kevin in him, he sighed and just stayed there.
Kevin looked up and him. AJ smiled, hiding the discomfort well, and bent down to kiss Kevin. He let his tongue slip as easily around Kevin's tongue, as he had around Kevin's cock. Kevin kissed him back, as hard as he could, wanting to be there for Alex.
"Are you OK?" Kevin asked breaking the kiss.
"Of course. I am with the man I love, thinking of nothing else but us." AJ spoke the truth. He kissed Kevin once more before sitting up. He forced himself to slide up on Kevin before going back down, starting the same rhythm his mouth had started.
"So, did you enjoy your meal?" Brian asked as Justin finished up his glass of water. Brian had wine waiting but neither was big on alcohol. Justin smiled and took Brian's hand.
"Very much. I am glad did all this for me. I guess I mean for us." Justin smiled and got up. "Well, I guess we should be going. It is getting late, and I am tired."
"OK. But I have one more surprise." Brian pulled Justin close to him and headed to the elevator. Justin smiled and let Brian pull him.
Soon Brian and Justin were standing in the middle of Brian's room. Justin stood waiting for Brian to say or do something.
"What is this one more surprise?" Justin said getting closer to Brian. Brian had grown much more nervous as they had got closer to his room.
"Well, umm, I guess the last surprise is, umm, me." Brian said looking up in his face. Justin looked confused and somewhat shocked.
"What?"
"I, I don't want this night to end. I want you to stay here, with me. I now last night we said that we would wait for sex and all that, and I think we should, but I don't want to leave you. I want you to be here." Brian pleaded his reasoning out to Justin. Justin thought of so many things to say, most of how this was not right, but instead he grabbed Brian's hand again. He found himself doing that a lot that night. He pulled Brian over to the bed they intended to share and lay him down on it. Then, he lay beside him, wrapped in the arms that made him feel safe on a night much like this one, a month earlier.
TBC
Well, There you go. Hope you liked it again, and hope you keep reading. Can't wait to hear, well I guess read, e-mail from you.