Don't read if you're not suppose too, and thanks to everyone who has written to me.
10
Zane
I spent the next week trying to figure out how to fix what I had done. There didn't seem to be anything I could do or say to take back my actions and I wasn't sure he'd listen even if I tried. Each day in class, I would look toward him and watch him look away as if I had slapped him. It became routine for the week and I felt ashamed each time it happened. Desperate I approached Jeff, hoping that he could give me a clue. "Talk to him," he told me. "I can't!" I cried. "I don't know what to say, what to do!" "Talk to him," he repeated. "Just tell him why you ran." Tell Cae why I ran. I didn't think I could do that. Telling Ci, Anthony and Jeff was one thing, telling the object of my desire was something very different. Still, Jeff's words stayed with me for the next couple of days and by the weekend, I had decided what to do. I needed help though, so I went to the logical source. "Why should I help you?" Ci asked when I approached her Friday morning. "Cuz I'm trying to make things right. I know I screwed up, Ci. I didn't mean too, but I did and now I have to fix it but I need your help," I told her. "You made him cry, did you know that? Anthony found him just sitting there crying," I could hear the anger in her voice. "My brother doesn't cry, Zane. He doesn't just break down." I sank down on the bench beside her my shoulders slumped in defeat. This wasn't going to work, Ci was too angry to help me and I doubted that Cae would even listen to what I had to say. Everything was falling in shambles around me and as hard as I tried, I couldn't seem to pick up the pieces fast enough. "Are you serious about this?" Ci asked, staring at me intently. "I know I hurt him. I want to fix it, shit I need to fix it but I need help," I admitted. I heard her sigh. "What do you need?" "Cae, alone for a while so I can talk to him. Somewhere that he won't run," I stated. There was silence for a moment as she thought about my request. I could almost hear the gears in her head turning. I still wasn't sure if she was actually going to help me or not. During the past week, she had barely spoken to me and I was sure she was close to hating me. "Tomorrow is Saturday and I have a date with Anthony. We'll be gone until midnight. Cae finishes work at nine so he'll be home at nine thirty. That'll give you two and a half hours to fix this," she finally said. "If it isn't resolved by the time we get there, then it won't be." "Thank you," I whispered. "Just fix it." It seemed to take forever for nine thirty to roll around Saturday night. I waited by the clock, watching the minutes tick by slowly. Anxiety seemed to wind my body tighter and tighter and when nine twenty five hit I was out the door and on my way. I walked slowly, trying to perfect what I was going to say to Cae when I got there. All too soon, the familiar front door loomed in front of me and I mounted the stairs on shaking legs. I rang the doorbell and waited. Cae answered the door, still in his uniform of white dress shirt and black pants. His long, dark hair still in a thick braid with strands coming loose and fallen into his eyes. He looked beautiful and I so wanted to touch him, but the carefully blank look on his face made me keep my hands to myself. "Ci's not home," he stated as he began to close the door. "I'm here to talk to you, Cae," I told him before he could close it completely. He opened the door up enough for me to squeeze through. Once I was inside, he shut it and turned to face me, his arms crossed over his chest. He obviously wanted me to speak my piece and then get out. "Can we go downstairs?" I asked, not wanting to do this in the foyer. Cae stared at me for a moment before turning and heading toward the basement. I followed him, hoping I was doing the right thing. Once we were downstairs, Cae sat on his couch and waited for me to sit and start talking. "I don't know if I can do this," I whispered to myself as I sank down on the couch. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Cae flinch and realized he had heard me.
Caelum
When Zane showed up at the door, my first though was to slam it in his face. However, he said he wanted to talk to me, and courtesy dictates that I at least listen to him before telling him the fuck off. I stood there and waited for him to speak but instead he asked to go downstairs. Again, courtesy raised its ugly head, I was forced by manners to take him down to the room Ci and I share. "I don't know if I can do this," I heard him whisper. The words sliced into me and I concluded that he was here because Ci made him come and talk to me. "You don't have to do this if Ci put you up to it," I said, trying to give him a way out. "She didn't," he laughed bitterly. "In fact I had to argue with her just to get a chance to come talk to you." "Then why did you come? You didn't have too," I was beginning to get confused. "Yes I did. See, last week a friend of mine told me something, something he thought I knew but didn't. And I did the unthinkable and ran." "It was und-" I started. "No it wasn't and let me finish, please," he said, cutting me off. "I ran, but no quite for the reason my friend thinks. I was afraid and. . . ." he trailed off. "Zane?" He looked at me out of those amazing green eyes, eyes that were shimmering with unshed tears. "I fucked up, Cae. I'm trying to make things right, but I don't know what to say. Nothing seems right, nothing seems to fit." "Say what you think is right," I told him. He just stared at me a moment before he stood up. I had been surprised he had stayed seated that long. A nervous Zane is a moving Zane. He crossed the small space between the couches and stood in front of me. "Words won't work," he murmured after a moment. Before I could consider those words, he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine and the world halted for a moment.
Zane
I don't know what possessed me, but the second the thought to kiss Cae occurred to me, I was on my feet. I stared down at him for a moment before leaning in and kissing him softly. The kiss was brief, but sweet. I pulled back, my pulse racing and moved quickly back to the other couch. We sat in silence for a few minutes and I wished I had the courage to look up from my spot on the floor to see Cae's face. He called my name softly, but I didn't look up, too afraid to see what was on his face. He waited a moment before coming over to my couch and sitting beside me. I heard my name whispered again, but I shook my head. Cool fingers lifted my chin, forcing me to meet silver eyes. Cae peered into my eyes for a moment, searching for something before moving closer. I held my breath as he moved in, his face so close to mine. Once, twice, a soft brush of his lips over mine, almost as if asking permission. When I didn't move away, he deepened the kiss, his lips firm and soft on mine. I moaned and he deepened the kiss again, his tongue sliding across the seam of my lips. I opened my mouth; let him inside where I wanted him. Time seemed to flow different and I lost track of the amount we spent locked together. Finally, Cae broke away and buried his face in my hair. Our breath came in ragged pants and reality filtered back in slowly. I became aware that we were now lying on the couch, Cae partially on top of me. "I think we need to talk," Cae said after our breathing had returned to normal. I laughed lightly. "I'm serious." "I know," I replied. "Are you staying the night?" he asked, propping himself up on his arms. I felt a moment of fear as I wondered what he thought would happen if I stayed. As much as I wanted him, I didn't think I was ready to go that far. My fear must have shown on my face because he stroked the side of my face lightly. "Nothing will happen that you don't want to happen," he said quietly, staring down at me intently, his silver eyes serious and I knew he was telling me the truth. "I'll stay then," I answered, "if you want me too." A bright smile lit up his face and he leaned back down to kiss me softly. "Good. First thing though, I need a shower," he said, getting to his feet. He disappeared into the bedroom and came back out with the clothes I normal slept in when I was here and some for him. "We'll talk some more when I get out of the shower, okay?" I nodded and watched him walk into the bathroom. When the door closed I sat there for a few minutes, shock still coursing through my system. This was not the outcome I had in mind, but I wasn't going to complain about it. I changed, folded my clothes up and waited for Cae to finish his shower. Ten minutes lapsed before Cae came out of the bathroom, his hair loose and damp framing him. I had never seen his hair down before, and the sight was more beautiful than I though was possible. He smiled as he walked over to me and I felt my heart flip in my chest. "Do you want to talk now, or watch a movie and talk in the morning?" he asked as he sat back down beside me. "Movie," I replied. Cae laughed and we started discussing what to watch. After we agreed on a movie and set it up to start, Cae began brushing his hair. I watched, fascinated for a moment before stopping him. "Let me," I whispered as he looked at me curiously. Realizing what I wanted, he hand the brush to me and turned so I could pull it through the dark thickness of his hair. I brushed his hair for a few minutes, making sure all the tangles were out before he asked me if I knew how to braid hair. I did, I had done my sister's hair since I was older enough too and I quickly braided Cae's hair into its normal thick braid. "Thank you," he said, turning to look at me. "My pleasure," I told him, leaning in to brush my lips over his softly. "Let's start the movie." Cae grabbed the remote and my hand and stood up. He headed over to his couch, which had a better view of the TV bringing me along with him. Sitting down with his back against the arm, he pulled me down to sit between his legs, my back against his chest. I settled against him, once again surprised at how right it felt to be in his arms and pressed to his body. The movie played, but I didn't watch it, I dozed instead, listening to Cae's heartbeat and the rhythm of his breathing. When the movie ended, it was almost midnight and he led me to the bedroom before shutting off most of the lights in the living room. I was surprised he remembered my fear of the dark, and touched that he cared enough to make sure I was okay first. I climbed into the bed, my heart racing a little. I know he said nothing would happen that I didn't want, but it was the things that I wanted that made me flush and made my breath coming in short pants. I forced myself to relax knowing that I could trust Cae. Moments later Cae came in, shutting the door behind him. "I think I like you there," he laughed, and I felt my face heat up. He shut off the lamp beside the bed and climbed in behind me. I felt him move around a bit before he reached out and pulled me against his body. "Go to sleep," he murmured against my ear. Snuggling into his arms, I let the tension in my body slip away and let my mind drift off into sleep. I was content.