Disclaimer: If you are under the age of 18, don't read any further. If you are offended by stories containing homosexual themes, this probably isn't for you either. I have no personal knowledge of the sexual preferences of the individuals discussed in this story. It's fiction, pure and simple.
I want to apologize for taking so long in posting this next chapter. I've got my act together now (well as much as I ever will) and plan on posting chapters weekly. Hope you guys haven't lost interest. A special thanks to Scor, Dennis, Aphrodite and Dara Lynn!
Chapter 14
It was nearing midnight when the plane finally landed as JFK and thanks to the Demerol, Justin had managed to sleep though the entire flight. He was still somewhat groggy, but was feeling much better and you were relieved. He tried his best to convince Mark that with your help he could navigate though the airport, but his pleas were falling on deaf ears. Mark had a car meet you on the runway and with in a half an hour you were settling into a downtown Manhattan hotel. As you helped Justin undress and get into bed, Mark called both Lynn and Johnny and gave them a quick update then checked on Justin one last time before heading to his room.
"Do you need anything to help you sleep?" Mark asked Justin.
"No, I don't think so" Justin answered quickly "Actually, I'm feeling a lot better, since we left Aspen. I hated that hospital. I still can't shake the headache though. It really hurts."
"It's gonna hurt for a while, Justin" Mark reminded him "but it will ease up everyday, assuming you do what you are supposed to."
"Oh, he will!" you assured Mark. "You have my word on that one."
"Justin, you do remember the rules, don't you?" he asked.
"Yes, I know" Justin said like a child being scolded "No getting out of bed except to go to the bathroom."
"Hey, you do listen, I'm impressed" he said with a chuckle. "I'm going to bed now. Do you need anything before I go?"
"No Mark, but thanks for everything. We really appreciate it," you let him know.
"No problem" he said smiling "You know how to reach me if you need me. Oh, by the way Gary, Johnny wanted me to congratulate you on the press conference. He was very impressed. The guys even videotaped it so you can see it later."
Then he said teasingly, "Maybe you missed your calling"
"No I didn't " you informed him. "I know my limits and that crossed the line."
Mark just laughed. "Good night guys, see you in the morning."
With that, Mark left and you sat on the edge of Justin's bed and gently kissed his forehead. "Guess we should get some sleep, just let me know if you need anything."
"What are you talking about Gary?" he asked anxiously "Aren't you gonna sleep with me?"
You knew he would not be happy with Mark's suggestion. "Listen Justin, Mark thinks you'd rest better if we slept in separate beds. I'll be right here if you need anything."
"That's bullshit" he argued. "I won't get any sleep without you next to me. We've slept in the same bed every night for over three months. We're not changing that now. Mark can kiss my ass!"
"Justin, " you reminded him, "Mark is just doing what he thinks is best for you and you promised to cooperate."
"I will cooperate," he insisted, but I'm not sleeping alone. Please"
As you could have predicted, Justin won yet another victory. It wasn't worth upsetting him.
"Ok, you win" you conceded. "I can't wait to get my butt chewed in the morning over this one."
"I won't let him do that" he insisted, "I'll make sure he knows its my fault. I'm just so used to having you there. I really don't think I'd sleep as well if you weren't with me."
Then without notice, he changed the subject.
"So, tell me about this press conference? What's up with that?"
You had rather Mark not mentioned it. Actually, you'd like to forget the whole thing.
"It was no big deal. I just made a quick statement to the press, that's all"
"You're lying" he said quickly "I can tell by your eyes."
You started to argue with him and then it hit you. "You can see my eyes?" you exclaimed.
A huge grin encompassed his face. "Well, they're not real clear, but I can see a little bit."
You leaned down, took his face in your hands and gently kissed his lips. "So, does me being closer help at all?"
"I'm not sure" he laughed, "maybe you should try again."
You kissed him again and he wrapped his arms around you. "I love you, thank you for being there for me."
"I'll always be there Justin....always." You glanced at you watched and noted the time. "It's almost 2:00 am, don't you think you should be getting some sleep?"
"Gary, I've done nothing but sleep all day" he explained "Can't we just talk for a little bit? It's not like I have to get up in the morning or anything."
He was right. He'd slept for a good part of the last 18 hours. "Sure, we can do that. What's on your mind?" you asked as you crawled in bed next to him.
Justin was so predictable. He immediately snuggled close to you and rested his head on your shoulder as you wrapped your arm around him. It amazed you. No matter how the two of you fell asleep, you could be assured of waking up at some point in the night to find Justin in that exact position. It was the Justin that few people saw. This was not the confident performer or the ultimate showman. It was a young man who was full of insecurities and who found solace in your arms. It was the Justin known only to his close friends, and you loved him deeply.
"I have so much on my mind that I really don't know where to start" he explained. "I'm so excited about the CD coming out. I just hope everyone likes it. We worked our butts off for it."
"Justin, the CD is great," you told him. "Just wait, you guys are gonna have that number one album that you have always dreamed about."
"Do you really think so?" he said excitedly "Can you imagine that, a number one album. That would be so awesome."
Justin talked almost non-stop for the next hour. He talked about the tour and the video, but mostly about Tuesday. It was the single driving force for him right now. He just wanted the new CD to be released. He wanted everyone to hear the music that they had worked so hard to create. This one was theirs and they were very proud of it. And of course, he wanted to perform on TRL.
Much to your surprise, Justin had managed to follow Mark's orders over the next 3 days, and while his vision had continued to improve, the headaches still haunted him. Monday was the first day Mark had allowed him out of bed, but it was short lived. The longer he was up, the more intense the pain and after only a few hours, Justin retired to the sofa and had spent the remainder of the day there.
You needed no alarm to wake you on Tuesday morning. As you looked at you watch, you realized that within a half an hour, Mark, Johnny, Danni and the rest of the guys would all meet in your room to hear Mark's decision on today's schedule. It was only 7:30, but Justin had already showered, dressed and was now making an attempt to eat some breakfast. He'd taken a few bits, but you knew his nerves were preventing him from doing much more than rearrange the food on his plate.
You could hear them coming minutes before they actually knocked on the door. Danni was trying her best to keep the noise at reasonable level, but gave up quickly, realizing that nothing she said was even being heard. They were in there own world and they desperately wanted Justin to be part of it.
Upon entering they immediately surrounded him, hoping to get some indication as to what to expect for the rest of the day.
"How's the head?" Chris asked.
"Yeah, are you feeling any better?" JC chimed in.
"So what's up? Has Mark been here yet?" Joey asked excitedly.
Lance said nothing at first, but joined Justin on the edge of the bed. "We love you, man. We want you with us today. It just won't be the same if you can't be there."
"I'll be there" Justin assured all of them. "I'm just waiting for Mark to give me the green light."
The other four remained quite but looked at other cautiously. They knew the chances of Justin getting to perform were slim. They had seen him yesterday after only a few hours on his feet. Dancing would be out of the question. They had talked about it the night before and whatever Mark decided there would be no argument. Justin would feel bad enough. He didn't need see that they were disappointed too. That would only make him feel worse.
Minutes after their arrival Mark and Johnny joined them. The room fell silent and all eyes were on Mark.
"Wow, you sure know how to make a guy feel uneasy" he said teasingly. "I suppose you are all waiting to hear what I've decided about Justin huh?"
"Of course we are Mark" Chris remarked quickly.
"This is important to all of us." Lance added.
"Ok, here's the deal" he sat next to Justin and rested his hand on Justin's thigh. He squeezed it gently, trying to get him to relax, but Justin seemed not to notice. He hung his head, staring at the floor as if he were a defendant waiting to hear the jury's decision.
"Johnny and I have discussed this a length. While Justin's vision is now nearly 100%, he is still having suffering from the headaches. Performing is only going to make it worse."
Justin hung his head lower after hearing Mark's last comment.
"However, medically, there is no danger in his performing and that's where my responsibility ends. If he performs, he's gonna hurt like hell afterwards, but I'm not going to make that decision for him. The decision is Justin's."
Justin raised his head in amazement. "You mean you're gonna let me do it?" he asked excitedly.
"Well, let's put it this way. I'm not gonna stop you and I'll support whatever decision you make. Just realize that if you dance, it's gonna hurt. There is no getting around it."
"I know, but it won't last for long. This is that chance of a lifetime!" He looked at his friends, all anxiously waiting to hear his decision. "Count me in guys! Let's kick some butt today!"
Immediately, the hugging and the high fives began. You kissed him quickly, then let Justin and his friends enjoy the moment. Although you wanted to share in his excitement, deep down you had reservations. Danni, of course, caught on immediately.
She took you by the hand a led you to the far side of the room, hoping that the distance from celebration would allow you to talk freely. Evidently, Mark sensed the problem and joined you and Danni.
You addressed your concerns before either of them could speak.
"You guys know him. He's gonna push himself further than he should. You know damn well he's in no condition to dance!"
Mark nodded his head in agreement. "I know that Gary, but like I said, medically I have no reason to hold him back. It's a matter of how much pain he is willing to handle. You know as well as I do how important this is to him."
"And I know how important he is to me" you added sharply.
Danni interrupted you before you could go any further. "He's important to all of us, Gary. The guys were willing to support Justin no matter what. You know that."
"Of course I do Danni. Those guys are like brothers to Justin, but you know exactly what's gonna happen. He's gonna push it."
Danni moved closer and kissed your cheek. "I know, and I'm sorry, but that's Justin." He's gonna give 110%. It's just him. Don't take this day away from him, it means too much."
She was right. Justin deserved to enjoy this day. He'd earned it. You only wished the circumstances were different.
Because of Justin's condition, they had cut short the CD signing at Virgin Records. The original three hour session had been cut to one so that Justin could get some rest before the TRL appearance. The megastore had not been happy about the change in plans, but the guys stood firm. It was all of them for an hour or none of them at all. Given the choice, Virgin agreed to the new schedule.
Justin managed to sleep for two hours before it was time to head to the MTV studios. While he woke up in good spirits and without a headache, you knew it was shot lived and you placed a call to Mark's room.
"Mark, we're leaving in about 15 minutes" you informed him. "You're going with us aren't you?"
"Yeah, Johnny and I have already made arrangements." He had picked up on the obvious displeasure in your voice. "Gary, I know you're not happy about this, but I just didn't feel I could interfere. It's too important to him."
As much as you hated to admit it, you new he was right. "I know Mark, you did what was right, and I've tried to be as supportive as I can today. Justin has no idea that I am totally against this. I promised I would be supportive of the decisions he makes involving his career, so I've been exactly that...supportive. I guess I'll see you down there."
You had never seen the MTV studios and had expected something different. Although the accommodations were adequate, you had assumed they would be much more luxurious. They were nothing fancy. In fact they were rather dull. As hard as it was for them, the guys were trying to sit still long enough to have makeup put on. Chris and JC were totally out of control and Danni had given up any attempt to settle them down.
With all the commotion, Carson had entered virtually unnoticed and immediately gave Justin a huge hug.
"Hey, J, I'm so glad you could make it .You kinda had me worried."
You immediately picked up on two things. One, he had called Justin "J". No one, other than his close friends ever called him that, and two, the hug had lasted a bit longer that you felt was necessary. You were not the jealous type, but Carson had expressed more than a casual interest in Justin in the past. Justin didn't see it, but it was very clear to you.
"Carson!" Justin said in an excited voice. "It's so good to see you. And I kinda had myself worried. I wasn't sure if I was gonna be able to do this. Thanks for having us."
"Anytime. Glad you guys could make it today. The fans are going nuts."
He glanced over and realized who you were. With an outstretched hand he said, " You must be Gary. Justin talks about you constantly. It's nice to finally meet you."
"It's nice to meet you too," you said shaking his hand. "Hope you don't mind if I hang out and watch the show from backstage. He's still not feeling real good and I'd kinda like to stay close if I could."
He smiled. "I've already reserved some seats for the you guys. You're not gonna watch the show from backstage, trust me. Justin called me this morning and we took care of the arrangements then. Come on, let me show you around the studio real quick, while they finish getting ready."
He led you down a corridor and opened a door on the left. "This is my office, come on in." You were surprised. The office was immaculate and well decorated. Carson had taken a seat behind his desk and had motioned for you to sit down.
"Would you like something to drink?" he asked. "I've got some cokes in he fridge."
"No thanks," you said politely.
"Listen, I didn't really want to show you the studio" he explained. "I just wanted to talk to you privately for a minute."
"Sure, what about?" you asked.
"About Justin," he answered quietly.
You stood angrily and turned toward the door. "You and I have nothing to discuss as far as he is concerned."
Carson immediately moved from behind the desk and blocked your path to the door. "Hey, hold on, you can a least give me a chance to explain. I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. I'm not hitting on Justin, innocent flirting maybe, but that's it." "I've known Justin for a long time, but come on, he's way too young for me and he's in love with another man. Shit, it's all I hear about when I talk to him. If you remember, I'm the one that got Justin the keys to the condo in the Bahamas. I'm not looking to break you guys up. I've never seen Justin happier. The only reason I wanted to talk to you privately was the fact that I was concerned about him and I knew you'd give me a straight answer."
You felt foolish. You had never been the jealous type and had no idea why Carson struck such a nerve with you. "I owe you an apology and I'm sorry. Obviously, I misunderstood."
Carson halfway smiled and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. "No problem, I'm sorry you got the impression that I'm anything more than a friend. I'm harmless, honest. Now how about you tell be how my buddy's really doing?"
You appreciated Carson gracefully moving on to another topic. "Carson, I don't think he's ready for this, but the doctor left the decision up to him. He is still having some bad headaches and dancing today is not going to help."
Carson nodded in agreement. "Yeah, he doesn't really look like he feels too good. Let's do this. How about we don't bring them out until the last 15 or 20 minutes of the show. We can talk for a bit and save the performance until the last. That way if Justin starts to feels bad the show will be over and he won't have to worry about making small talk about the CD coming out and the upcoming tour."
You felt relieved. "I think that's a great idea. Thanks"
Carson opened the door and motioned you to follow him. "Let's see how the guys are doing and then I can show you to your seats. We'll just let Justin assume that the schedule we worked out was what was planned from the beginning."
The two of you re-entered the small room where the guys were getting the finishing touches on their makeup, a process Justin had hated since day one. Carson quickly updated the guys on the schedule and when he was done you pulled Justin to one side.
"How you doing?" you asked with concern.
"I'm dong fine Gary, please don't worry" he replied. "I'm so excited that nothing is bothering me right now."
You tapped Chris lightly on the shoulder. "We'll be back in five minutes" you told him as you motioned for Justin to follow you. You led him back down the hall to Carson's office. As you entered, you closed the door behind you and locked it. When you turned and looked at Justin he had a huge grin and his eyes sparkled. You knew immediately what he was thinking.
"Oh, please" you said shaking your head in pretend disgust. "I told Chris I'd have you back in 5 minutes."
"And your point?" he asked deviously as he moved closer to you. You were sitting on Carson's desk and Justin was now standing between your open legs staring directly into your eyes. You cradled his face in your hands and brought his lips to yours. You kissed him briefly and gently.
"I just wanted to wish you good luck and tell you how proud I am of you," you said softly.
He bit his lower lip and looked somewhat embarrassed. "Thanks Gary, that means so much coming from you. I'm really glad you're here with me today."
You smiled. "I can't imagine being anywhere else. Now you'd better get back and I need to find my seat." You gave him one last quick kiss. "I'll see you after the show."
You met up the Mark and Johnny in the main studio and Carson had stopped by once you were seated to check and see if there were any last minute changes to the schedule. As you looked around, it was obvious who the crowd was here to see. Since you were usually backstage during the concerts, you had never seen first hand the chaos that ensued when the guys had a performance. It was amazing. Signs, posters, t-shirts, magazines, everything imaginable had the image of *NSYNC plastered on it, and the noise was deafening.
Their screams grew even louder as Carson took his place and while he was getting his microphone hooked up the show's producer addressed the crowd.
"May I please have you attention for a few seconds?" he requested. Amazingly the crowd quieted. "We know you are very excited about today's guests, but let me remind you of the rules. Do not under any circumstances, leave your seat. Please do not attempt to grab any of the guys while they are entering or exiting the stage area. This is for your safety, as well as the safety of *NSYNC. If you don't follow the rules, I'm afraid you will be asked to leave. When the studio light above me is on, it means that we are on the air, and we ask that you remain quiet while the videos are playing. Other than that, have a good time and enjoy the show."
As Carson started the show, Danni joined the three of you and gently patted your leg. She leaned close so you could hear her, and whispered in your ear.
"I just came from backstage. He says he feels fine." You were somewhat relieved, but then again, knowing Justin he would say that no matter what. The show seemed to drag on, but you knew it was only because you were anxious. Finally after a commercial break, Carson announced the arrival of *NSYNC and the crowd went wild. The guys ran in from backstage and exchanged greeting with Carson before taking their place on the stools provided. Carson asked the usual questions and allowed several fans in the audience to do so as well. Finally, he announced to the crowd what they had waited the entire hour to hear.
"OK, I guess we have been keeping you guys waiting long enough. The guys are ready to let you hear first hand one of the songs off of their new CD "No Strings Attached" that was just released today."
Justin interrupted. "Actually Carson, we're gonna do two songs. Our fans have been very patient and we want them to know we appreciate it, so we're going to do "This I Promise You and then Bye, Bye, Bye."
Carson did well hiding his obvious surprise. "Ok...sounds great......so straight off of their new CD, here's *NSYNC."
Johnny leaned over obviously displeased. "Gary, what the hell is going on? We never discussed doing two songs!"
"Johnny, I have no idea" you explained. "This is as much of surprise to me as it is to you." You shot a quick look at Danni and knew immediately she was aware of what was going on.
You spoke softly making sure Johnny did not overhear you. "OK, fill me in. What's this all about?"
"You'll see soon enough," she said smiling.
As the music started you were surprised to see Justin stand and begin to walk slowly towards the crowd. While Justin loved performing, having close contact with the fans had always made him a bit uncomfortable. He preferred stage performances where the fans were not so close, so watching him now as he made his way up the aisle made you very curious as to his motives.
He moved slowly up the aisle stopping on a few occasions to sing directly to an overwhelmed fan. A broad smile covered his face as he watched their reaction. As he neared the chorus, he stopped at a young girl seated directly in front of you. He knelt down and began to sing to her in his soulful voice.
And I will take you in my arms And hold you right where you belong
Then he stood, and looking directly into you eyes, gave you a wink and continued.
Till the day my life is through This I promise you.
He then turned and made his way back down the aisle joining the rest of them on stage as they finished the song. Somewhere in the distance, you could hear Johnny cursing under his breath and Danni chucking softly, but you never took you mind or your eyes off of Justin. You could feel you face turn red as you realized what had just taken place in front of millions of TV viewers. Had you thought much about it, you probably would have been angry at him for making such a bold move, but the thought never crossed your mind. It was a touching gesture and one you would never forget.
When they finished the song they moved the stools out of the way and took their places for Bye, Bye, Bye. It went off without a hitch and you were somewhat surprised at Justin's stamina. After yesterday you were concerned that he would be unable to pull this off, but evidently he was feeling much better and the Motrin Mark had given him had done the trick. After the performance, the five of them were making their way up the aisle, handing out copies of the CD and talking with fans along the way. As they neared your seats, your eyes met Justin's and you realized immediately that it was all an act. It was clear that he was hurting much more than he was letting on. You grabbed Mark's shirtsleeve and pulled him into the aisle.
"We need to get him out of here" you let Mark know. "Now!" You pushed forward through the crowd that now blocked the aisle and finally reached Justin as he continued to sign autographs. He looked relieved when he saw you.
"I'm not feeling so good. Can I go lay down somewhere?" he asked. You put your arm around his waist trying to let him lean on you a bit until a path could be cleared for you to get him backstage. By now, Carson had picked up on what was going on and had made his way through the crowd.
"Ok, everybody, that's it for today. We need everyone to step back out of the aisle. Let these guys get through." I wasn't working. The kids weren't budging and if anything there was less room to move now than there was before. Thankfully, the guys went nowhere without Lonnie and his voice made it clear he meant business.
"I believe you were asked to get out of the aisle" he bellowed. "Do it now!" Much like Moses parting the Red Sea, there was an immediate path cleared and you helped Justin backstage and onto a sofa in Carson's office.
"Ok Justin lay down and I'll get you something for the pain" Mark instructed as he reached into his bag.
"Mark, I don't want anything" Justin quickly answered. "I'll be fine, just give me a few minutes. I was okay until we started dancing, then it hurt like hell, but I expected that. Its no big deal." He was lying and you knew it.
By now, Johnny and the rest of the guys had joined you in Carson's office.
"Justin, you gonna be ok?" Lance asked as he sat next to him on the sofa.
"You should have told us you felt that bad" Chris added. "We didn't have to do Bye, Bye, Bye."
"I'm fine, quite worrying" Justin pleaded. "I wanted to dance, and that's what they wanted to see. We owed them that one."
Until now Johnny had been quiet. "Well what you owe us is an explanation of what the hell went on out there! Who made the decision to do two songs?"
"We all did" Chris answered quickly. "Justin mentioned it and we all agreed that it was a great idea."
"I'm your damn manager!" Johnny yelled. "Don't you think I have a right to know what the hell is going on?"
JC, who usually had the best luck cooling off their somewhat volatile manger, stepped in. "Johnny, relax man. Everything went fine, it was no big deal."
"No big deal!" Johnny looked directly as Justin. "Perhaps you like to explain to your friends the stunt you pulled during Promises. Then we'll see if I'm overreacting."
"Drop it Johnny!" Chris said angrily. "Not now!"
"Like hell I'll drop it! Do you have any idea what went on out there?"
Mark had heard enough. "Ok, this is getting out of hand and Justin doesn't need it right now. You can discuss this at another time."
Johnny was not about to drop it. "I'm their manager and I want to discuss it now!"
"And I'm their doctor. You hired me to do a job and I'm doing it! I want this conversation ended now."
You could tell Johnny wanted to argue, but he realized Mark was right. "8:00 in my room, and I dare any of you to be late."
"Johnny, the party Jive is giving us starts at 9:00," Joey reminded him "That's cutting it kinda close don't you think?"
"Then I guess your butts will be late!" Johnny said furiously slamming the door as he left.
The room was silent for a moment but Carson managed to break the tension. "I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess he's a bit pissed off.
Chris laughed. "Gee, Carson ya think!"
"Sorry guys" Justin said apologetically. "He didn't give me a chance to explain."
"Don't worry about it J, he'll get over it" Lance assured him. "How about we get back to the hotel and you can rest up before tonight."
"Yeah, I know this sounds kinda dumb, but a nap is sounding pretty good," Justin conceded. "I'd like to be able to have some fun at the party tonight. Everybody is gonna be there."
Joey's eyes lit up. "Justin, have you heard from Britney? Is she gonna be able to make it?"
Justin managed a slight grin. " I talked to her yesterday, Joey. She'll be here, in fact she is probably already at the hotel."
"Yes, I can't wait!" Joey exclaimed.
"Excuse me Joey, remember she's supposed to be with me." Justin informed him.
"I remember." Joey said rolling his eyes. "The press can have a shot of the happy couple and then she's all mine."
"Well, from what she told me yesterday, she'll enjoy that" Justin said. "And I'll enjoy my evening too" he said as his kissed your cheek.
"Geez, you two need to get a room" Carson chuckled.
Justin rested his head on your shoulder. "I already have one, smart ass, and that's where I'm headed right now."
Mark immediately jumped in. "Guess again, Romeo. If you want to go anywhere tonight, you're taking it easy for the rest of the day. You've already overdone it."
Justin started to argue, but Lonnie came in and announced that the limos were waiting at the back door.
"Can you make it to the car?" you asked Justin.
"Sure, I'm feeling much better, but let's take it kinda slow ok?"
"You bet," you said helping him to his feet. He was a little unsteady, but managed to maneuver his way through the halls and downstairs into the waiting limo. Once inside he laid his head on your lap and stretched out his legs laying them on top of Chris'.
"Hey," Chris complained jokingly "What makes you think I want you using me as a bed?"
"Christopher Allen!" Danni said sharply "Don't you dare tease him, you know he doesn't feel good."
"Wow, Christopher Allen huh?" Joey laughed. "Your ass must really be in trouble Chris."
"Hey, my ass is always in trouble" he informed Joey, "but the 'make up sex' is good so I don't mind."
Danni just smiled and shook her head.
You looked down at Justin expecting to see him enjoying the banter, but he had drifted off to sleep.
TBC
If you have any comments (good or bad) you can contact me at dannibailey@hotmail.com. I love feedback!