A Deep Love By James
Disclaimer
If it is illegal for you to read this type of material where you live, then don't read it. If you're not of the legal age to read this material, then leave.
This story is about relationships and sexual activity between young consenting mails. If this offends you, then I think the computer comes with a back button last time I checked.
This chapter again like Chapter 1 has no sex in it, but in Chapter 3; things liven up.
Chapter 2
Josh and I got subs from a small sub shop and we also got some ships and Pepsies for our lunch. We sat down at a picnic table outside the shop to eat.
"You sure no one will hear us?" Josh asked.
"I'm sure," I replied.
He sat down across from me and I began eating. I expected Josh to do the same, but he didn't.
"Josh," I said. "You're not eating."
"This can't wait Michael," he said. "I have to tell you now."
"Okay, but I'm starting to get worried. Your face is flushed. Are you feeling okay?"
"No. I'm afraid you'll hate me after I tell you this."
I came from where I was sitting and moved beside Josh. I put an arm around his shoulders and held him close.
"You won't lose me. When I make a friend, it's forever."
"Well, I'm, um, I'm gay."
I sat there feeling so happy that for a moment I couldn't say anything.
"Say something," my mind yelled. "He's going to interpret your silence as rejection if you don't."
I took Josh in my arms and held him close. He was crying now and his body was shaking with each sob.
"It's okay Josh," I said. "I don't hate you at all. In fact, I feel even closer to you now seeing as how I'm gay myself."
"Really?" he asked through his tears.
"Absolutely."
His tears began to taper off, then they were gone. He wiped his eyes and he moved his body a bit and I knew he wanted me to let go of him now, so I did.
He stood up and turned towards me and wrapped me in a tight hug. He held me for what seemed like forever and I held him just as tight. I didn't want our contact to end. His hair smelled so good and his body was so warm and firm against mine. I figured he worked out or something like that. After another moment, he let go of me and I moved my arms from around him and we returned to our places at the table.
"Thank you for being my friend," Josh said after he swallowed some of his sandwich. "You're my best friend."
"It's no problem at all," I said. "And I think you're my best friend too."
"So how long have you known you were gay?" he asked.
"Since I was 13 years old, and you?"
"Same age. Have you ever had a boyfriend?"
"No. I haven't ever had one. I came out to my mom when I felt comfortable telling anyone, then I told my friends in my group."
"I just told my dad this morning," Josh said smiling.
"That's good. I'm assuming he's the first one you've told."
Yeah. No one else knows."
"Yeah, it's just my mom and my friends, now you who knows."
"What about your dad?"
I sat there for a moment. I really didn't talk about my dad and even when I told my friends about what happened with my dad, I just didn't really know what to say.
"I'm sorry," Josh said moving his hand trying to find my arm. I reached over and took his hand.
"It's alright," I replied. "You didn't do anything. I just don't know what to say where my father's concerned."
I told him the story about my father and he squeezed my hand gently. I looked in to his eyes. I felt as though he were trying to tell me something with his hand squeeze a moment ago, but I wasn't sure what it was yet.
"What about your mom?" I asked.
"Her and my dad are divorced," Josh replied.
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"It's not a really bad thing. She got out of control with some affairs she had when my dad was out at work in the day. She would bring strange guys home and I would be at the house when she would do this. Anyway, my dad found out one day because she started seeing pus in her urine. When she went to the doctor and they did tests, they found that it was Gonorrhea. She came home and told my dad. I think she knew she couldn't keep it from him, so she told him herself. He got tested for every STD known to man and to this day he still gets tested and to this day, he's clean. He explained all of this to me with the aid of my mom. I was ten when they divorced and they explained everything to me in a mature way that I'd understand, but they also had to basically give me the sex talk in order for me to understand. So essentially, I knew about everything about sex earlier than everyone else in my age group. I definitely kept it to myself. You understand what I mean? I didn't try to be a sexual how-to guide for kids who weren't ready to know."
"I understand," I said. "You're a good mature guy."
"Thank you. I feel the same way about you. So what all work do you and your friends do around the city?"
"Well, back in 2005, my friends and I were noticing a lot of mentally challenged kids were being discriminated against in the middle school I was going to. We were getting tired of how kids and even teachers were treating them, so we started a public service advertisement with the help of John Martin who is a guy who does filming of public functions. Anyway, my mom knows him and she put me and my friend Bengy in contact with him. We talked to him and explained what we wanted to do. He agreed and we educated the public about the special needs of these children and just on mental defects in general. So after we did that project, the school apologized to the parents of the kids and even to us and our parents. This also branched off to other ideas we could do and we told John about what we wanted to do and he works for us every chance he gets. And I think you'll be interested to know that last year, we began working on an awareness campaign on bigotry and racism in America. We did this project with emphasis on bigotry towards homosexuality, transsexuals, and different racial groups. It's been working so far, now for this year, we're working on a project to educate people on physical disabilities. I've seen a lot of people in this city whom have physical disabilities get the short end of the stick, and I'm sick of it. No one's stepping up and doing anything about it. So my friends Bengy, Ashley, Danny and I are working on this."
"You guys are amazing," Josh said.
"Thank you," I replied. "While we're on the subject, do you want to help us? This month, we've been planning to educate the community on visual impairments and the people whom are effected. I'm talking about all visual impairments, but especially ones like what you have, and the issue of blindness altogether."
"Absolutely," Josh said happily. "I'd love to help."
"Okay. Well, you and I can get together sometime this week with Bengy and Ashley and we'll talk about it. Bengy and Ashley along with myself are the founders of the group. I guess I can say that our group formed at around the time we were still in middle school."
"That's really interesting," Josh said. "I think you guys are so caring, and you yourself are so kind and wonderful."
"Thank you," I said blushing hard now. I then looked at the time. "Are you almost done eating?"
"Yeah," he said. Josh finished the last bite of his sandwich and I did the same. We then stood up and threw away our trash. Josh then turned towards me and we began walking back to the school.
Once back at the school, it was now time for a type of class which was called Group Session. In Group Session, it was a chance for students to express how they felt or how they were doing with classes, and just how they were feeling in general. Josh and I signed back in to the school then went up to the room in which the class was held. Dr. Janice Swenson was the Psychologist assigned to conduct the class and from what I knew, she was a very tolerant and caring woman.
Josh and I arrived at the office and took our seats. Another guy was sitting on one of the couches that Josh and I sat down on. He looked at us and I could see this kid's whole life story just in his eyes. He had an empty but sad look in them; as though he lost his best friend or something. He locked eyes with me and held my gaze for longer than what I felt was comfortable. I also saw something else in his eyes; suspicion. I could tell from the look he was giving me that I was to say nothing to him. I decided to play along and not say anything, at least for a little while.
"I have to say that this is the best high school I've ever been to," Josh said to me. He was sitting on my left side and the other guy was on my right, but as far away from me as he could sit without falling off the couch.
"Yes," I said. "I think it's all going to be just fine here."
Josh's hand was next to mine and he moved it so it was right against mine. I took his hand and just held it. At that point, I didn't care who saw us or not. It was then that an idea formed in my mind.
"Josh," I began. "If you aren't doing anything tonight, and if our parents say it's alright, then maybe you and I can get together with Bengy and Ashley this afternoon after school."
"Sure," Josh said. "I'll call my dad after school today and see if he needs me to do anything."
"Okay," I responded. "I'll call my mom and see if she needs anything done. After I find out, I'll call Bengy and Ashley, then you"
"Sounds good," Josh said. He was still holding my hand and rubbing the palm gently with his thumb. The door then began opening and he let go of my hand.
A tall, thin woman stepped in to the room and walked behind a desk. She sat down and looked at us.
"Hi," she began. "I'm Dr. Janice Swenson. I'll be conducting the Group Session class this year. This, as you've all been told is a class in which you can talk about anything you want or need to. I'm very tolerant of other people and of anyone who's in this room. If you need to talk about anything at all, then just go for it."
"Yeah," the boy on my right said. I was shocked to hear him speak. I almost forgot he was sitting there. "yeah, that's what my egg donor and her bastard of a husband said before I stopped being their wonderful son and started being a faggot."
He started crying hard and I could tell that he was in need of crying for a long time. His body shook and his crying was hard for me to listen too mainly because it wasn't just sniffs and small things like that, he sounded like his heart was shattered and that his whole world was ripped apart. I'd find out in the next few days to come that my hunches were not far off the mark at all. I moved close to him and put an arm around his shoulders. He stiffened for a moment then relaxed after realizing that I wouldn't hurt him. Josh came over to where the boy sat and he sat on the boy's right side. He put an arm around his shoulders too and we stayed like that with the boy until his tears began to lessen then were gone.
Even after he stopped crying, we continued to hold him close. He then though moved a little and I knew he wanted us to back up and let him have his personal space again. It was then that Dr. Janice started gently asking the boy questions.
"So can you explain a little bit about what's going on?"
"Well," the boy began. "My name is Patrick Fouler, I'm 15 years old and I, as I've said before am gay. My parents found out about it back in June of this year and they sent me to this place where they claim to cure people of being gay, but it's for gay youths.
My first night there, they locked me in this dark room and the man guarding my room came in. He beat me so badly that I felt like I was going to get sick from the pain. When I started bleeding from a cut he gave me, he handed me a rag and ordered me to clean up the blood that got on the floor. I did as I was told and I was there for a month. That first week, they would have me stand on like a stage, then they'd have the crowd stand up and tell me how evil I was and how disgusting I was for my being gay.
They said that I wasn't going to get food or drink until I did pennants for my sins. I did what they wanted, then finally I was allowed to eat and drink for the remainder of my time there.
When I returned home after the month was up, I was trying so hard to act straight. I even made out with a girl my parents brought home for just that purpose. It was so sickening and every time the thought comes in my mind, I throw up repeatedly afterwards. I'm so scared of slipping up and my parents finding out that I'm still gay that I can hardly keep from urinating. I can hardly keep control of my bladder anymore and I can hardly sleep anymore. I'm so tired."
Patrick was shaking now and I put an arm around his shoulders. Josh did the same and he calmed down a little.
"Patrick," Dr. Janice began. "What you've described is all grouped in to issues which are punishable offences. Your parents should not be allowed to get away with this. They've nearly had a girl rape you, the guy at that camp forced himself on you, and they falsely imprisoned you."
"They said nobody would believe me," Patrick said.
"We believe you," I said.
"Patrick, if you'll let me, I can help you," Dr. Janice said. "I can get you in to a temporary home until we can find you something more permanent. I know a man and woman who can help, but it's up to you."
"Yes," Patrick said. "I want that so bad."
"Okay," she said and picked up the phone.
She made a call and a social worker came by and talked to Patrick in Dr. Janice's private office. After they emerged, Patrick came back and sat between Josh and I. The whole thing ended up that Patrick went to stay with Adam and Kelley Johnson. They came by and met Patrick and all three of them seemed to hit it off from the start.
The group session ended on a positive note and so did the whole day. Over the next few days of that first week, Josh and I became closer and my love for him was growing stronger by the moment. That Friday night is especially wonderful as I remember it.
Author's note:
I realize that what Patrick has gone through is something that some people probably won't believe could happen. I'd be happy to tell you that these camps in which people claim to be cured of homosexuality is made up, but I'd be allowing you guys to live in a bubble. These places really do exist and I think that the people who run these places are the cruelest most evil people I've ever heard of. I have no problem with one who wants to tell me that they don't believe in homosexuality, but when you start abusing my gay brothers and sisters, both physically and psychologically, then I have a really big problem with that.
Abuse is a crime that happens more than anyone thinks and it only is on the rise according to statistics that I've read when I read the David Pelzzer books. I'm referring to the books A Child Called It, The Lost Boy, and A Man Named Dave. These books are all about David Pelzzer's life and what life was like for him growing up with his mentally unstable and alcoholic mother.
The key issue that this story will deal with is abuse and I'm doing this to show people that they're not alone. There are people out there who can help you if you are being abused by anyone.
Abuse of any kind is unacceptable and I know because I'm going through it myself. I'll not mention who the family member is that I'm living with right now who's doing it, but I'm dealing with verbal abuse and it's the worst kind I've ever heard of and been attacked by. However, I am doing things to get out of it. I'll be moving in with a wonderful man in June of this year and I hope to get some counseling to better deal with what has happened.
Also, and I've probably should have placed this at the beginning, but I'll put it here.
This story is dedicated to all of the people, gay or straight who have or are suffering through abuse of whatever kind. The people who commit acts of any type of abuse need to be stopped. And I'll say this to all of the people who go through or have gone through verbal and emotional abuse: No matter what your abuser or abusers say, no matter what they do, you're still a special person. You all are people who have feelings and you have emotions and you all are people who deserve to be treated kindly and with love and care by others. You are not what abusive people say you are.
Also, and when I get down to California to live with my boyfriend, I want to start getting work in advocacy jobs for people whom have suffered through various forms of abuse. Mainly though, I want to help the ones who have been through verbal and emotional abuse. It hurts more than anything I can think of and I know the after-effects of it. I don't want anyone else to go through what I've gone through, and I plan to try to advocate and help anyone who's been through that kind of abuse.
Okay, now that I'm off my Soap Box, I'll give a few comments about the story.
I wanted to thank Phil for his comment that I got today. I'm so glad you've enjoyed the part of the story I've posted so far.
And like I said in the beginning, sexual stuff will happen in Chapter three.
So this current Chapter, that's Chapter two will be sent to Nifty here shortly.
So you guys stay safe and I'll see you all in Chapter three.
P.S.
Keep sending comments. They're always welcomed.