Delusion

Delusion Part 6

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Nova:

Mark pulls up in his ride, it is a 1974 Chevy Nova that he apparently rebuilt with his dad, and this thing is immaculate. Mark has his window down as he pulls in. My fire is lit for the second time. His light brown hair is flowing while he is giving me this smirking defilement. He makes me feel like I am unusually his and I can't believe his countenance. Why am I letting myself to just thrust prostrate like this? He looks godlike, is he a vampire? I know, silly question, but seriously this is unlike me. I slide into the passenger seat. At first sight this car glows, I thought I would have seen it before. It is an intense yellow, with two jet black racing stripes. Mark calls it his yellow jacket, I know, how original.

Justin decided against meeting Mark, which was probably a pretty good idea. Mark revs his engine as I jump in, and he is peeling out and fishtailing a little into the street. Damn it, Mark drives more recklessly than Ralphie. We are heading towards Neskowin on route 18, which is about one hour away. Northern Oregon is amazing; the cliffs interfere with sheer coastal power. The edges of worlds with a certain calamity and synchronicity. We start the journey, a silent movie is playing in my mind, everything is settling down, and Mark is intrinsically looking at me. Emma is looking the same way at Ralphie.

The sun is bleaching not only my sight, but now my feelings; yet they are still richer in its presence. Emma lights a joint from the backseat. This doesn't feel that out of place. According to Emma, her couple, consisting of Ralphie and my couple consisting of Mark are each other's only allies. And I guess, we are happy to be with one another. We don't have to hide any longer. Emma is making out with Ralphie intermittingly, and Mark and I have been holding each other's hands and kissing when Mark hasn't been shifting. I don't know what to feel or think, it has been so easy to just be with Mark I don't know how to categorize it. I always felt comfortable around him but now this new openness surrounds us.

We finally get to the beach. It is around 1pm and it is about 75 degrees, Emma and I don't know how to surf. The rest of our group loves to show off. Ralphie and Mark dress up and try to ride every wave that comes in. It is both complimentary and depressing. Emma and I both try to give the most approval we can, and mostly we gently give each other humor and satisfaction as we conjure the image of our luck at such reciprocating souls. Emma and I slowly laugh at the westwardly leaning wind. Emma pulls out another joint and slowly philosophizes.

I interrupt, ...."Emma,"

"Yeah"

"I was thinking, that I should just come out, you know at school and everywhere else."

"Really, wow, that's a big move, isn't that a little freaky, you know our school is not the most progressive and supporting institution of alternative lifestyles."

"I know that, but I just hate having to go around acting like someone I'm not, and I think it will help with the annoying advances of the girls in school." Emma laughs. I sigh and state, "Now that I have Mark, it would be nice to hold hands in public, and kiss in front of the bigoted yokels."

"Well it would be interesting to see what your parents would think about having an openly gay son."

"Yeah, my mom wouldn't show her face in town ever again."

"You should probably talk about it with Mark."

"I know, well it's not like I'm in the biggest rush." I get a spark and look at Emma, and she knows it's something good, "Oh shit, Emma, I completely forgot to tell you about Justin."

"Justin, who in the hell is that"

"He's my new roommate."

"What?"

"Justin was roommates with Kyle at UCLA, and now he sleeps in my bunk bed."

"That's weird, why is he staying at your house?"

"Well Justin and Kyle are going to work with my dad and Mattie for the summer."

"Oh that sucks, you have to share your bedroom. How are you going to furiously and constantly masturbate now?" Emma comically mimics jacking off with both of her hands.

"Shut up Emma." I am laughing my ass off. "Well I haven't told you the best part yet."

"What's that? can he turn shit into gold?"

"Uh no, better than that, he is fucking gorgeous."

"Oh you are such a fucking perv, did you go ahead and fall in love with another straight boy, awww that's so cute."

"No he's gay and he can't keep his hands off of me."

"What, you have to be kidding me." Emma is looking at me with an odd sort of disgust.

"I'm not, I wish I was. The first time I meet a potential mate, all of the sudden I get two, the world is cruel, I don't know who I want."

"That is so like you, you haven't been able to make a decision in years."

"What, I make decisions all the time."

"Uh, just like when we go out to eat and you never know what you want. I have to pick out what flavor of ice cream you get at Baskin Robbins, and last time we went shopping you spent more time trying clothes on then I have collectively spent in my entire life."

"Hey, that's below the belt, you have only proved that I am choosy, like those fucking celebrated Jif moms."

"And how old is he?"

"He's 21"

"What the fuck, so he robs from the cradle, he is six years older than you, I'm pretty sure that is breaking the law!"

"What? Like you have the moral high ground when you're dating Ralphie, he's nineteen. And the law, really, you're the one to lecture me on the laws of the great state of Oregon."

"Yes, and I do still have the moral high ground too. Ralphie is only four years older than me."

"That is not that different and you know it."

"Okay, but sometimes I even think Ralphie is too old for me."

"Hey, I have questioned Justin's motives, I mean, really, he can't find ass at college so he has to travel to rural northwest Oregon to find a piece." Emma and I lay back on the sand in pure enjoyment; the warmth of the afternoon blankets us. I can't believe it has been so sunny this weekend, usually it rains every day here. Ralphie and Mark are rushing out of the water towards us.

"How was the surf," Emma asks.

"Not too good, you saw us out there, it was choppy as fuck," Ralphie states.

I am completely enthralled with Mark, he slowly walks towards me dripping and throwing his hair out of his face. I can't believe how much I am attracted to him, my essence aches for his. He is taking manufactured steps. Mark struts closer, his smirk is making me go insane. Why does he do this, does he intentionally try to make me turn to complete ash.

I am sodden with overtaking desire. Mark approaches me while unzipping his body suit. He gathers close and falls into the towel I have draped upon his shoulders. More of his bodysuit is stripped. Fuck, am I going to see his flawless body. I make a quick glance around, Emma is busy with Ralphie, and me and Mark are beside ourselves. He reveals himself to me. I gaze, I stammer and a nervous energy awakes and transmits itself. He returns it, and glows back my wonder. All my inquiries are echoed without a word spoken. It is different for me to actually see him in the light. I must be blushing.

He is open with me, the little secrets that do remain are fast rescinding. It is odd, real image versus fictive frame; the realness of life is unmatched especially if persuaded. I love that Mark trusts me. We walk out of sight. His presence is not like the familiar acquaintances. He fills my expectations as they reach out for any of him.

"Hey lets head over here," I merely follow. Why am I just dazed and immutable. My unfortunate superficial wounds, only letting the sounds of myself to get nearer. We find a place on the sand where we can gently slip away. Mark is genuinely interesting.

"So, Mark, what's your story? We hung out plenty of times before, you know, what made you make the first move, did you think I was gay for awhile now?"

"No, actually Todd told me at the party that he thought you were gay."

"What, really,"

"Yeah, remember when I told you that the only people that know I'm gay were you and Todd."

"Yeah"

"Well I tried to come on to Todd after he was giving me what I thought was a signal."

"Oh yeah I remember you were freaked out that I was going to say I was straight yesterday."

"Yes, Todd is the one that told me he was straight after I kissed him." "Oh my god," "but to be fair he does give out that vibe."

"I know, right."

"On Friday it felt like he was putting the moves on me."

"Well that's my fault, I told him to find out if you were gay or not. Me and Todd have been friends for awhile now and he is awesome. After I kissed him I freaked out when he told me he was straight. I thought he was going to ruin my life to keep his sexuality intact, and the opposite happened. Thank god for the Real World. Todd was completely cool with me being gay and he has been on a mission to hook me up ever since."

"Wow, that makes me look at Todd a little differently, I guess he is pretty fucking cool even though he was mind fucking me to see if I was gay." "So Mark, what exactly is your situation? I'm out to my family and Emma and now Ralphie. So what is your deal, do you think your family would be cool with it."

"I don't know it's not like I've heard my parents speak at a C-Pac meeting, but they would probably still freak out. My cousin is a lesbian and my dad is constantly making junior high jokes about it, but my mom is pretty open and she always defends her in front of him. I've thought about coming out but every time I want to tell them the moment just passes."

"I know the feeling, I just kind of blurted it out one night, and sometimes I regret it, but I will say that it has let me see my family for the first time, you get to see if your parents love the actual you or just the idea of you."

"Yeah I guess that's true, I should probably just tell them, sometimes I feel like an absolute coward."

"Hey, don't. Some days I wish I never would have told them, your high school years are hard enough to deal with."

"You know let's just forget about this shit for today and have a good time."

"Hey let me show you something, Mark and I head further up the beach and start to climb a cliff that is practically shear, he shows me a natural little stone bench that has an amazing view of the ocean and impending sunset,

"Wow, I wish we had acid tonight," says Mark,

"I don't, sometimes that shit is a little intense, if you weren't there on Friday I think I would have flipped out."

"Good thing I was there" Mark states with a devilish grin. Mark takes his hand and leads it to the small of my neck, I'm once again paralyzed. The sensation and crest is too much. The eruption of reactions as he moves his hand to gently cup the back of my head. I move to still his quivering lips, blue from the water and wind, I am getting to know his familiarity, his presence. He lays into me as we slide against rock, weaving hands and tongue, texture and form. I spring on top of him and wrestle and jockey for better deportment. How does this work, thigh working against and with thigh, I am traveling outside of my body and looking from above, damn we are hot, what is this?

"Get a room!" Yells Ralphie from down below on the beach,

"Fuck you," Mark playfully yells back. Mark tells me that we should be heading back, it's nearly nine o'clock. We all pile into Mark's "yellow jacket" and begin the journey home, Nick Drake's Pink Moon echoes through the radio. This is amazing, I need to store this moment, silence filled with contentment, everyone in this car has what they need. I have no worries or desire in this slice of time. I glance with joy at Mark and he looks at me with the same gaze. Justin is now a distant consideration.

Emma and Ralphie are dumped out as soon as we can manage; we strangle goodbyes and impressions of heed. Mark has something planned. He parks in the mountains just outside of town and is all over me in seconds. His want is palpable, thick within the air, and mine is nearly to match. Description is a travesty, throws and calls, whimpers. We are again making out but now the feel of each other is what we are after. I grab him and push him back to his seat. I pull his shirt off. He is an Alabaster sculpture with just the right amount of softness. My hands are working over a touch that is somehow not enough, so I work on his pants.

Wow this is so much harder at this angle, but Mark places his hands around mine and helps me reveal him. He is thick and ready, this thing is pulsating, radiating, it's so different and familiar. I know how mine feels but this somehow trumps any experience I've had before. I love his essence and the undoing of his will. I am in control, he moans and I finally get to try something that I have wanted for so long. My descent is manufactured, I give him upwardly gaping stares and his thickness meets my lips. The taste of the ocean, silk, smoothness, further and further, proceed and retract, and over again. The hidden squirms and moans are finding their way to the surface. He must be getting close. He retracts violently and I taste a hint of his cum, damn, he has a fucking fire hose. He is squirting everywhere, pulsing effervescent fluid, I get hit in the cheek and start to laugh. He grabs me and I meet his face.

"That was fucking amazing." He pushes me back and succinctly strips me and starts with the same reciprocating madness I crave, the initial spark cannot be retold, you only get one first touch, one first lick, I'm barley able to think, I immediately believe I will cum,

"Oh shit" I shudder and somehow manage to stumble while sitting. This is too much sensation, a kind of torturous pleasure. This simplistic sated will, everything as crescendo. Gathering of the moths around the light of youthful exploration, one sense after the other. I am propelled into the next life, transcendence, setting of the dim light of the moon, lesser to rule the night but still magnified,

"I'm getting close" I beg a whisper, little escapes, continuation, little control if any, and finally I upsurge into him. I have come inside him, oh fuck. "Oh fuck I'm so sorry," I'm panting and apologetic.

"Don't worry, that was amazing, it didn't taste bad at all." Mark states with a swallowing gasp. He is at my lips we mingle and relive our taste; I never want this to end. The opening of buds, springs' eternal bloom transfixed upon us. The experience conjures knowing. The self becomes blurred, pollinated, I read his DNA upon me.

I am squandered and strung out yet completely overflowing with a newness of life and the end of the age.

I can't stop smiling and intermittingly making out with him. "So that was amazing," I finally state.

"Was that your first blowjob?" Asks Mark.

"Yeah, what about you?"

"Well not exactly."

"Oh, okay you little slut." I state laughing, "So who was the lucky man?"

"I swore I wouldn't tell anybody about it"

"Then why did you just tell me, this is going to drive me crazy,"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything," I don't know if I respect him for not telling me or if I was incredibly annoyed that he even brought it up in the first place. Whatever it was the magic in the air had definitely faded, it was time to go home, we have school tomorrow morning and it's already 11pm.

We reach my house, Mark turns his nova off and follows me up to the door, "what a gentlemen" I state smirking,

"Oh shut up, you're loving this just admit it."

"Okay just kiss me already, I have to get inside."

Mark looks around and then leans in and gives me a peck and is off "Bye,"

"See you at school tomorrow," I watch Mark get in his car and drive away and I'm still at the door waiting to enter, I don't want to go inside. I just want to stay out here all night and think about my luck. Then, suddenly the door swings open, "you coming in, or are you going to camp outside tonight?" Justin states smirking at me and trying to act like the concerned parent.

"What are you doing up, don't you have a busy day at work tomorrow?"

"I could ask you the same question about having to go to school."

"Whatever," I laugh and force myself in,

"So how is the little guy doing. What's his name? What is it, Stanley, Clifford?" Justin states with sarcasm,

"No, it's Mark, and he's amazing."

"Oh I'll show you amazing." Justin grabs me and carries me up the stairs once again, the first time it was cute, but this is just getting annoying. I've had a fantastic day; I don't need anything or one to ruin it. He lays me on the bottom bunk, and gets in with me. I don't know if this is a good idea, but I love sleeping with someone.

"So seriously this time, how was your outing today?" Justin asks with genuine interest.

I plaster this ridiculously huge smile on my face, "It was great, I got lucky."

"Oh don't tell me that you lost your cherry to that asshole."

"No, but I did get a blow job."

"Oh, how was it, teethy?"

"No, he was a pro."

"Let me show you pro," he dives under the covers, I start to panic, he better not be serious. He starts tickling my sides and I'm laughing hysterically. He comes back to the surface, and grabs me and kisses me on the cheek. "So, is Mark the jealous type?"

"I don't know, I don't think so." Why would he ask that? "You do know that my dad and Mattie wake up around five thirty in the morning."

"Yeah, but me and Kyle don't start working until next week."

"Oh, well good night anyways," I'm wrapped up in Justin, he makes a great blanket. Slow minty breathes send shivers down my neck and spine. I feel his slightly hairy chest and abs down to that warmth and interlaced legs alongside me. His arm drapes over me, he caresses my cheek with the back of his hand and he stretches into me, it might be wrong, and I hope Mark doesn't get pissed but he doesn't have to know that I sleep with Justin, it's innocent. Sleepy coercion, his presence is comforting, protecting and divine.

More to come