Desert Heat Chapter 1
Introduction
I welcome feedback from readers, in fact I thrive on it.
This story is radically different from what I usually write. There are no magic or supernatural elements, and there are no Dominant/Submissive relationships. This is a story about an older man and a younger man who fall in love. Both are adults. The story starts slow but will build up to more detailed sexual situations soon.
I have written three chapters so far and plan to publish one chapter every month.
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You can contact me at pseudonominius@gmail.com.
Author's Notes
· If you want to be informed of new stories, send me an email, and ask to be put on the notification list. I'll send a notification. Everyone will be on the bcc line so your email address will not show to other members.
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· This type of story is new to me. I welcome your feedback, but this story is a new LBGTQ genre for me so please be gentle.
My Stories
Desert Heat Chapter 1 (A Blossom in the Dessert)
Matty
College had turned out more difficult than I'd imagined, but it wasn't because of the academic load. I'd been an almost straight A student in high school, and I was as prepared as I could have been. Sure, everything was taught at a higher level and the classes moved much faster than I was used to, but I didn't mind homework and I'd always loved learning new things.
No, there were two other issues that made college hard for me. The first was that I was gay, a virgin, and hiding in the closet. My mom didn't know, and I had no idea how she would take it. She'd become increasingly religious after my dad died. None of the rest of the family knew either, which was probably a good thing because we lived with my uncle, and he didn't try to hide his racism or his homophobia. Somewhere at the back of my head I had the idea that I would be able to come out and finally find someone to be with once I was in college, but that that hadn't happened.
I couldn't get away from my family, even if I wanted to do. I didn't have the money. My mom lived about forty miles away, but I was sharing a one-bedroom apartment with my cousin Jimmy. I had enough scholarships and grants to cover tuition and books, with a little left over for living expenses so long as I kept it basic. Jimmy had mostly loans because his grades hadn't been as good as mine. Neither of us had money left over for a dorm. The apartment wasn't too expensive because it was a one-bedroom unit two miles from campus and it was about a quarter mile from a useful bus stop. Uncle Jake was covering most of the rent, although mom said she was helping.
And this was the second problem. The semester had started well, but it had taken Jimmy only four weeks to make friends, the wrong sort of friends. At first the partying had only been on weekends, but over the last two weeks it had begun to spread to nights during the week as well. And it was getting difficult to study.
I'd taken to studying at the pool because there were some tables with umbrellas there and it was away from the reek of pot smoke and the noise. Of course, the pool wasn't the best environment either. It was too distracting because of the swimmers. There were a few hot guys my age in this complex, but the most distracting wasn't a guy my age at all. It was an older guy. I didn't know how old he was, but he was in amazingly good shape, with rippling muscles underneath a coating of very manly hair on his chest, legs, and arms. There was a little on his back as well, but that didn't make him any less sexy in my eyes. His skin was darker than mine, and he looked Latino to me. His skin was light brown, and his hair was black with a few strands of silver at the temples. His moustache was also black. I'd seen him once going to work in his tight cop uniform and he'd been clean shaven, except for the moustache, but when he came home, he had the dark shadow of beard across his face.
I always moved seats so that I could see him in the pool over the screen of my laptop. I felt guilty because sometimes I set my phone up in its stand and recorded him while he swam. When he got out of the pool, I would hurriedly turn off the camera and pretend innocence as he walked by me to lay out on a pool chair to dry off. I always got hard watching him and I would later masturbate in the shower thinking of him.
Nando
I'd lived at the same apartment complex for the last six years, ever since my wife had thrown me out and served me papers for divorce. I'd had it coming. I realized that I was bisexual back at the police academy, after I'd already been married to Natalia for three years, but I had taken vows to be faithful. It shouldn't have mattered that I was attracted to both men and women. I could have remained true to my vows. I probably should have, but I justified it in my mind by saying that I wasn't messing around with other women. The first time she'd caught me, we'd had a big fight and she made me go to counseling at the church. I promised never to do it again, but that time hadn't been the first, or the second, or even the tenth time I'd done it. I decided to be more careful in the future. And I was. She didn't catch me again for another eight years.
Now I lived alone and sent much of my income to her to support the kids. I didn't resent it. They were my kids too. Now Maria was twenty years old and married, and Johnny was nineteen and just starting college. He lived with some older friends near the college. His name was Juan, but he preferred Johnny.
Only Carlos remained at home. Natalia's second husband kept trying to adopt him, but I refused even though it meant that I still had to pay support. He was my son, and I didn't want to give up my claim to him or my time with him. Since she'd moved to the east side of town when she got married, I only saw him on weekends that I didn't have to work. Soon it wouldn't even be that. She and her husband were moving to the state capital, a hundred miles away. I'd be lucky to see him once a month.
That was painful. I'd stayed close to the kids, even though Natalia had insisted that I not tell them about my lifestyle. I rarely saw Maria. Since her marriage, she'd become more distant, calling me on my birthday and occasionally allowing me to take her and her husband out to dinner. I saw Johnny more often. He'd figured out that I was seeing men since the divorce. He didn't seem to care, but we didn't really talk about it. I knew he talked to his friends though; they made references to it a few times when I was over at his place.
Since I wasn't paying as much child support these days with only one child still with his mother, I'd been considering moving to a bigger apartment. Then I saw the boy. I'd never been attracted to someone that young before. He couldn't have been much older than Johnny. But when I saw him sitting there at a table doing his homework, I could hardly look away. He was about four inches shorter than me, and probably forty to fifty pounds lighter. He was a cute little güero with eyes like jade and light brown hair that hung past his collar. It was shaggy, so I thought it was probably more due to the failure to get a haircut then to a fashion choice.
He seemed deep in thought whenever I looked directly at him, but I could see him glancing at me whenever he thought I wasn't looking. He was skinny but cute with his wire frame glasses sliding down his sweaty nose. It was still over a hundred degrees in the afternoon, even though September was more than halfway gone.
I'd checked him out. I was a cop, and it was a thing I did when someone interested me. He lived in the building across the pool from my own building, in B220. He lived with someone I thought may have been his boyfriend until I heard the other teen refer to him as "cuz" one afternoon. That explained why they looked alike, except the other had a couple of inches on him and had much lighter hair. He was also much less attractive.
He rode his bike to college, but it was a dirt bike, not a 10-speed bike like so many of the other college kids had. It was like he'd brought the bike he had as a kid to college with him. He came out of his apartment to study in the heat as soon as his cousin's friends started coming over. Their apartment smelled of pot, but usually only after he left. His cousin called him "Matty", and he called his cousin "Jimmy". It didn't look like they were best friends, but they got along passably well.
I wanted to get to know him better, but I was twice his age and I thought it would be a little creepy. I knew that I felt like a dirty old man when I lay in my bed, thinking of him while I stroked my cock. I wondered what he looked like under his clothes. Did he have a big dick or was it small? Was his butt as round as it seemed through his jeans? Was he a bashful and modest boy or did he turn slutty when he was alone with his lovers?
It would be the second to last week in September before the opportunity arose to talk to him.
Matty
I had two exams on Monday, and I needed to be able to study. You'd think that Jimmy could give me a few hours at least to prepare for the first major tests of my freshman year, one in Calculus and another in US History. You'd think that he'd spend some more time studying as well. He'd let slip that his grades weren't very good on the quizzes he'd taken so far. And his friends were worse, especially Josh. All of them had come over Friday night and several had spent the night sprawled in the living room, but not Josh. He'd come into the single bedroom in the apartment and crawled into bed with me. He'd been drunk and had refused to get out when I tried to make him. Jimmy was passed out on the top bunk and didn't hear him. I had nowhere to go, and Josh fell asleep right away, so I finally let it go and slept with him snoring next to me in the single bunk.
Josh was always trouble. Whenever I wasn't looking, he would smack my butt and say, "no homo". Last night, he'd followed me into the kitchen and pressed his crotch against my butt while I was trying to get my ramen out of the microwave. He wouldn't back up to let me work.
He kept grinding against me and said, "It isn't gay unless you get turned on. Are you getting turned on Matty?"
Everyone in the family always called me Matty, but it made me feel uncomfortable when Josh said it. He had a sneer in his voice and his hand touched my neck. I tried to pull away from him and I dropped the bowl, breaking it and spilling ramen all over the floor. Josh laughed at me while I cleaned it up, then he smacked my butt and said, "No homo! At least one of us isn't."
Jimmy must have seen it this time because he said, "Leave him alone, Josh."
But he was laughing when he said it, and I saw him give his friend a high five. I left the apartment and rode my bike up to the Taco Bell to get a couple of burros instead. I couldn't really afford to eat out, but Taco Bell had the best calorie per dollar count for hungry but poor college students. I'd just ordered my dinner when officer sexy walked up behind me. (That's what I called him because I didn't know his name. Sometimes I called him Daddy Cop instead).
"Let me get that for you," he said, in a deep voice that was as sexy as his body. "We're neighbors, after all."
"Okay," I squeaked at him.
My dick was getting hard, and I couldn't adjust myself with him looking at me. In addition to my two bean burros, he ordered a combination with tacos supreme and a burrito supreme. He ordered me a drink as well. He told me to sit, and he'd get the food. He brought the drinks over to the table and then went to the counter to pick up the food.
"I've seen you at the pool," he said as he sat down. "Do you ever swim or just go there to study?"
"I study most of the time, but I've been in the pool," I said.
He smiled at me and stuck out his hand, introducing himself, "I'm Fernando Chavez, but my friends call me Nando. Your name's Matty, isn't it?"
"Yes sir," I said, "Matthew Preston."
"Matthew or Matty?" he asked, unwrapping a taco supreme.
"My family calls me Matty," I said. "I tried Matthew in school, but it doesn't sound like it fits me. It's too long."
"So, Matty it is," he said with a smile, "I think it sounds good on you."
My breath was caught in my throat. Matty sounded childish to my ears, but the way he said it seemed to resonate up and down my spine. I delayed by taking a bite of my bean burro and then a sip of my Dr. Pepper.
"I kind of like that," I replied. "I like the way you say it. It's like MAH-tee."
He took a drink of his iced tea and said, "I could call you Mateito, but I think you're probably older than you look."
"I'm eighteen, sir," I replied.
Nando
Eighteen! I thought. He was younger than Johnny, but probably only by a few months. I felt guilty being so attracted to a boy younger than my own son, but his polite bashfulness made me shudder with delight. I rarely ate at Taco Bell. Tucson was a town with small taquerias that served much better food, but I'd seen him riding his bike into the parking lot and I'd done a U-turn and followed him in. I was on my own Suzuki Hayabusa instead of my patrol car because I was heading home from work.
When I saw him counting out change from his pocket, I stepped up and bought his dinner. He looked frazzled and upset, but this was the best chance I'd had to talk to him casually. The boy had ordered two bean burros. I didn't know if he was a vegetarian or if he was just short on cash. I bought him a drink as well.
We chatted for a while, and I discovered that he was studying physics and math, so I figured that he must be smart. I also found out that he was from one of the smaller mining towns north of town and that he was struggling to keep up with his studies since his cousin liked to have friends over and they were loud. He knew that I was a police officer, so he avoided any admission of underage drinking or drug use.
"If it gets too loud, you can always come over and study at my dining table," I said. "You wouldn't bother me."
"That's nice of you, sir, but I'd hate to cause you any trouble," he said.
I started cleaning up the table and said, "If you change your mind, I'm in apartment C110, so you could look over the pool area and see if it had calmed down in your apartment before going home."
He blushed and looked down. I could tell from his body's response that he was both embarrassed and aroused. He took a deep breath and then swallowed hard. He took the tray from my hands and took over the cleanup.
"Let me do that," he said quietly. "It's the least I can do since you paid for dinner."
I watched him bus the table and then stand nervously like he was waiting to be dismissed. I got up and put my hand on his back and walked him out the restaurant. I wished I'd brought my car, but I seldom drove it unless it was raining, or I had a passenger.
"I'd give you a ride," I said, "except that you rode your bike, and I'm on my motorcycle today."
He looked over at my bike and his eyes grew big. I knew how I could get to know him better.
"Maybe I can give you a ride sometime," I said casually. "We could just ride around the city, or I could take you someplace more fun, maybe up the mountain to get out of the heat."
He looked at me, back at the bike, then back at me again. He must've been afraid of seeming too eager because he blushed again and looked at my chest instead of my eyes.
"I think I'd like that, sir," he said.
I clapped his back and said, "We'll have to make a date then. In the meantime, don't forget my offer to study at my place. It's still hot outside."
"Thank you sir," he said.
Then he watched me get onto my bike and ride off before getting on his bicycle. I went home to get changed. I was going to go to the store and buys some Dr. Pepper and snack foods that a teen might like. I'd keep it vegetarian just in case.
Later that night, I lay in my bed thinking of Matty. Mathew was too much of name for I boy like him. All I wanted right now was a kiss. His skin was fair, so his lips were dark in comparison. And he'd had only a few sparse hairs on his chin and upper lip. I wondered how often he had to shave.
It was chuck who'd gotten my mind on this track about smooth twinks. He was a former coworker who moved away last year. He was thirteen years younger than me and about my height. We'd worked out together and hooked up occasionally. He did some modeling work on the side and kept his face and body shaved, that's why he'd moved to Los Angeles. He'd found an agent who thought he could get him some acting and modeling jobs. I missed him, and I missed the feel of smooth cheeks and skin on my body. I'd seen Matty's body, and he had so little hair on his legs it didn't count.
I wanted to feel his lips on mine, and I wanted to feel his smooth skin against mine. I pulled my briefs off and touched my seven and half inches. It sprang to a full erection with only the slightest touch. I let my fingers graze my cock and imagined it was Matty's light and tentative fingers. A shiver ran up my spine. Then I took hold of it lightly and stroked it gently. I imagined that Matty would have a light grip, so that's what I used to stroke myself.
I brought myself to the edge of orgasm and then backed off. I did that repeatedly, edging myself for nearly an hour while visualizing all the images I had in my mind of his cute face and slender body. I'd only seen him in his swimsuit once, and that image had been seared into my mind; his almost hairless legs and chest, his pale skin and legs that seemed a little long for his body.
I could only edge myself for so long. I reached the point where I had to finish the job or risk a ruined orgasm. I put my free hand to my mouth and kissed the place where my index and middle finger came together. I could almost imagine that it was Matty's mouth. My cock exploded, sending ropes of semen shooting up to land on my chin. When I ate my semen, I imagined that it was his.
Matty
When I woke up the next morning, Josh was still snoring next to me. His arms were wrapped around me, and his morning erection was pushing against my butt. We were both wearing gym shorts so there wasn't a lot of cloth separating us. I needed to get up and go to the bathroom, so I tried to work my way out from his embrace without waking him. I didn't need his bullshit this morning. But just as I thought I was getting out of his arms, he wrapped them tight around me and pushed his cock against my butt.
"I had the best dream," he whispered in my ear. "There was cute little bitch pushing her sexy ass on my cock. Then I woke up to see that it was you. So, what do you say, Matty? Are you going to be my girl this morning and take care of this for me?"
He pushed his cock harder against me and he squeezed me tight. He was so close to my ear that I could feel his mouth on my neck, making my skin crawl. Josh was always creepy, but this morning he was worse.
"Let me go!" I said, still trying to keep my voice down so the guys sleeping in the living room wouldn't hear and come in to see what was going on.
"It's only fair," he said, biting my ear. "The way you shake your little butt at me when you walk, you're nothing but a tease. If you've got me this worked up, it's your job to take care of it."
"Leave me alone!" I said, rolling around so I could try to get out of the bunk.
The problem was that now I was facing him and his nasty drunken morning breath. It was making me sick on my empty stomach. He was holding me just as tight from this direction, and he was smirking at me. A feeling of dread settled into my stomach.
"That's not going to happen, bitch," Josh said. "Don't act like you're a virgin. You can help me out this morning can't you?"
I was blushing and trying to pull away. He saw my reddening food and said, "God damn! You are a virgin, aren't you?"
"Stop it, or I'll scream," I said as sternly as I could.
"If you scream, I'll tell everyone that I woke up with you playing with my dick," he said. "Who do you think everyone is going to believe? Everyone knows that you're a faggot. Everyone has seen how your little dick gets hard whenever I touch your butt."
"Stop it; please let me go," I begged.
"Let's get one thing straight, bitch," he snarled. "I am going to fuck you. Since you're a virgin, I'm going to take your cherry. Then I'll train you up right and turn you out."
I started crying which only made his angry. "Stop crying, bitch. You're going to get more cock than you know what to do with. Jimmy gave me a key, so I can stop by any time to pay you a visit. I know his schedule, so I can be here whenever he's not. You'll be loving it soon enough and begging me for more."
I couldn't get out of his arms, and I was scared, more frightened than I'd ever been before. I'd never been beaten as a child because I'd always been well-behaved, and I'd never been in a fight. Sure, I was gay. Sure, I got hard when Josh touched my butt. I couldn't help it. I wasn't attracted to him, and even if I was attracted to him, he shouldn't ... It wasn't right. He was threatening to rape me. He could probably be caught in the act and somehow make it seem like it was my fault. I broke down and started sobbing, then I lost control of my bladder and I started peeing all over myself, all over the bed and all over him.
"Fuck!" he yelled and jumped back out of the bed.
He sprang to his feet and looked down at his shorts. He'd barely been moistened, but I was soaked through, and the bed was drenched. Josh's yelling brought Jimmy back into the room. He looked puzzled.
"Your little faggot cousin just pissed the bed and pissed on me too," he said. "Loan me some clothes."
Jimmy was shaking his head. He gave me a look of disgust and walked over to the dresser to grab a pair of his shorts for Josh to wear. I was too embarrassed to say anything. After throwing a change of clothes to Josh, he threw me a pair of my shorts to change into.
The thing was that I did wet the bed sometimes as a child. When my mom and I first moved in with my uncle, I shared a bed. And I did wet the bed and get him wet. I hadn't done it in a few years, but when I was younger, sometimes when I was stressed or just too tired to sleep well , I just didn't wake up.
"Just get changed Matty," Jimmy said. "And then clean this mess up. You may as well wash my sheets while you're washing yours."
When my cousin had left the room, Josh pulled his shorts down, revealing an erect cock that was about seven inches long. He lifted it and let it let it drop so that it bounced a little. Then he grabbed my shorts and pulled them down, leaving me naked. I was embarrassed by the smaller size of my own cock. I never knew how much smaller my dick was than other guys. His was two inches longer than mine.
Josh leaned forward and kissed me. I hated it, and I hated him, but my dick started to get harder. Then he took the head of my cock in between his index finger and his thumb and squeezed it hard. I don't know why but I fell forward against his chest.
"Don't forget that I am going to fuck you," he said. "I could say `no homo' but we know that wouldn't be true. I'm going to fuck you a lot."
He pulled my underwear out of my hands and threw them on the bed. Then he took all the underwear out of my drawer and put them on the pile. Finally, he pissed all over them.
"Now put your shorts on and do the laundry," he said.
He laughed as he left the room, and I sank to the floor and cried. I don't know how long I wept, but I knew that I couldn't go out there into the living room with all those guys until I'd finished. Once I had no more tears to give, I gathered everything up and opened the door. In addition to Jimmy and Josh, there were two more guys in there. They ignored me pointedly when I walked through with that big bundle of sheets. My underwear was wrapped up inside them with the pillowcases.
Mike started to say something, but Jimmy hushed him and gave me a weak smile. He was protecting me, like he had in high school. There was no way that he knew what Josh was saying and doing to me. After the guys left, I was going to talk to him. I felt like I was taking deep breath and it was lifting a weight off my shoulder.
I stayed in the laundry room until everything was washed and dried. Then I headed back. I still had studying to do this weekend. Back in the apartment, I saw that Jimmy, Mike and Oscar were dressed and ready to go somewhere, but Josh was sitting in his gym shorts, lounging on the couch.
Jimmy was smiling. "Mike and Oscar are taking me to a club they know where they aren't too strict about ID," he said. "I'm going to get laid this afternoon, but I'll be back for dinner. Josh is going to stay here and wait for us to get back."
I stood there dumbstruck, my heart racing. "Um, okay," I said with a smile. "Let me put these in the room and then I'll be back. Don't leave yet."
I ran the clothes into my room and looked around. I didn't have time to get dressed, so I grabbed my backpack. It had my laptop and my books in it. I slipped into my flips and went back into the room. Jimmy, Mike, and Oscar were talking by the door, their backs to me. Josh smiled and made a kissy face. He mouthed, "I'll keep you company while they're gone."
I moved toward Jimmy and said, "I have to go study. What time will you be back?"
He looked puzzled and said, "It'll only be Josh here. You can study in the bedroom, if you want, and he'll stay out here and keep out of your hair."
I shook my head. "No," I said, "I'm going to meet someone."
He shrugged and let me pass. "Whatever, dude. I'll see you later," he said. Then he leaned in and added, "Wish me luck! I haven't gotten laid in a while."
"Good luck, cuz," I said.
I headed toward the pool, but I didn't stop there. I walked around it and went to apartment C110. I knocked on the door and hoped for the best. I needed officer Chavez to be home, and I needed him to have been serious about his offer. I didn't feel safe at home unless Jimmy was there, especially not when Josh was – and now Josh had a key.
Nando
When I opened the door and saw Matty standing there, naked except for his chanclas and his shorts, my heart jumped into my mouth. He was whiter than normal, and his eyes were wide. I wasn't going to leave him standing outside another minute.
"Come inside," I said, opening the door wide and making room for him to pass.
He didn't hesitate. He came inside and stood nervously.
"Were you serious about me studying here," he asked. "I don't feel ... I just can't concentrate at home today."
I took his backpack and placed it on the table, then said, "I was serious. You can study here whenever you want. But I have a question I need to ask you. Is there anything you want me to go back to your place and resolve for you?"
I wanted to say yes. I wanted to tell him all about all about Josh. He was a cop, and he could arrest him couldn't he? Would he be able to make anything stick, though? No one ever saw him do anything except smack my butt. In court, it would be my word against Josh's, and Josh was better at twisting words than I was. I thought officer Chavez would probably believe me, but what could he really do about it?
"No sir," he said. "I just can't concentrate over there."
"Okay," I replied. "You can work here. I'm going into my weight room, just through that door. Come get me if you need anything. You can come in if you just want to talk."
He moved to the table and muttered a `thank you, sir'. I went to the refrigerator and got him a can of Dr. Pepper and few cheese sticks.
"If you're hungry, there's plenty of food in the refrigerator and there's fruit on the counter," I said. "Take whatever you want."
He was looking down at his books while he unpacked them, and I knew he was hiding something, but it was clear that he didn't want to talk about it. Not now, maybe he would later. That's the only reason I left him alone at the table.
My apartment was a two-bedroom unit, like all the units in building C. I used to keep a bed in here for my sons when they visited. But they were the one's who asked me to turn it into a weight room so we could work out together. They volunteered to sleep on the couch. That's why I had two futon couches in the living room, two extra beds.
I kept thinking about Matty while I was pumping weight. Someone or something was bothering him enough to get him to come out of his shell far enough to come to my apartment. I was grateful that he was here, but I was angry at whoever or whatever was harassing him. It brought out the daddy bear in me and I wanted to find some way to protect him. After my fantasies of last night, it was weird to be thinking this way about him. Did I want to be his daddy or his lover? Since he was an adult and we weren't related, could I be both at the same time?
I was still working out when Matty came into the room and sat down in the chair. I finished my set and then took the weights off the bar. I was waiting for him to say something, but he didn't, not until I finished cleaning up the bench and sat down on it facing him.
"Can I tell you something?" he asked quietly. "Can I tell you something without you asking me any questions?"
I put my hand on his knee and said, "You can ask me anything. I can't promise not to ask any questions because I'm a police officer, but I will promise not to pry for any information I don't need."
He sat there for a few minutes and stared at the floor. Then he put his hand on top of mine and said, "I don't feel safe in my apartment right now. I only feel safe when my cousin is there?"
I didn't want to pry, but I had to ask, "Has anyone hurt you over there? I need to know if someone has hurt you?"
He shook his head and replied, "No one has hurt me, but there's someone I don't trust – and I don't want to say the name because there's nothing anyone can do."
"Is it your cousin Jimmy?" I pressed.
He shook his head and replied, "No sir."
"Is it one of those friends who are always there?" I asked.
He sat in the chair and refused to say anything. I waited for a couple of minutes, both of us sitting in silence. Finally, I said, "If you don't want to tell me, I won't pry, but I'm not going to let you feel unsafe in your own home. When you decide to tell me, then I'll help you figure it out."
I led him back out to the kitchen table and I sat there with him while he worked on his math homework. I checked my social media and then chatted with my kids for a while. I didn't have to work, but Carlos was on a trip to look at the house they were buying. He'd be back later, and I was going to take him to a movie. Johnny had to spend the weekend studying with his friends. And Maria was busy with her own young family.
In time, Matty started talking to me. Mostly he talked about his classes, and I listened. Then he started talking about his high school experience, about losing his dad when he was a freshman and moving in with his uncle. He talked about how his cousin had looked out for him when they were in school together. I could tell that he was hurting. I thought that he was disappointed that his cousin wasn't protecting him now.
I ordered pizza for dinner. My suspicions were confirmed when he told me that he liked double mushroom, tomatoes, and basil on his pizza. I asked if he wanted any meat and he told me that he was a vegetarian. I ordered him a medium pizza and told him that I would keep it in the fridge for him and that he needed to come over and eat it. I ordered a supreme for myself.
After dinner I told him, "I must go take my youngest son to the movies tonight, but I'll be back."
"Okay. I'll go back, sir," he said.
I put a hand on his shoulder and said, "No, that's not necessary. I'll be back. I'm going to make this couch into a bed, so you can stay here tonight. I'd rather you didn't go back home until I can walk with you."
He looked up at me and said, "Thank you, sir."
"If we're going to be friends, I need you to start calling me Nando, okay?" I said.
He smiled and replied, "Thank you, Nando."
I showed him the controls to the firestick and told him not to leave until I got back. He laid down on the futon and started surfing for something to watch.
Josh
Little Matty left his phone when he went out earlier, so I expected him back earlier. He had no way of knowing that Jimmy had gotten lucky and gone home with a girl. And as soon as he came home, I was going to take his cherry. Once I did it the first time, he'd come back for more. I more pissed off as it grew later and later. Around midnight, I realized that he wasn't coming home, so I went locked the door and went to bed. I was pissed off, but the fact that he was playing so hard to get made me more excited than ever. I knew where to get some ketamine, but I didn't want to use it on Matty unless I had to.
Nando
Carlos hadn't seen Shang-Chi yet, so I took him to see it. We had a good time, but I enjoyed it mostly because it was time with my son. He was excited to move to Phoenix. I could tell, but I could also tell that he didn't want to disappoint me. So, I told him that it was okay to be excited about the move, and that we would just have to make the most of the time we had available even if it was just one weekend a month. It was good.
We were in a good place when I dropped him off. As he was getting out of the car, he stopped and looked at me with a serious look in his eyes.
"Dad," he said. "I know that your gay, and that's why you and mom broke up."
I looked back at him and said, "It's not that simple, Carlito. I like both women and guys, but I think I do like guys better."
He pulled the door shut and sat there for a moment, then took a deep breath. "Why did you marry mom, if you knew you liked guys better?"
I put my hand on his shoulder and replied, "I was eighteen when I married your mom. I didn't know that I liked guys until I met someone at the police academy. Sometimes we live a lie when we're younger, especially when we're lying to ourselves."
He stared into the distance for several minutes, then he asked, "Are you happy now?"
"I'm sad because I don't get to be with you, your brother and your sister every day, but yeah I think I am happy."
"Do you have a boyfriend, dad?" he asked. "I think you should have a boyfriend. You shouldn't be alone."
"I have boyfriends," I said, "at least I go on dates."
"You should find someone to move in with you," he said. "My friend Elena, her dad just got married to guy and she says he's never been happier. We're moving to Phoenix, and I don't want you to be alone."
"You're a good kid, Carlito," I said. "You don't have to worry about your old man. I'll be fine."
I gave him a hug and we said goodbye. I had to pull over and cry for a while on the way back to my apartment, but it was good. Carlos and I would make it work. I had promised him that he could come over and work out with me every weekend until he moved if his mom said it was okay. Natalia didn't hate me anymore. She didn't want to keep Carlos and me apart. He'd be there. Maybe I'd have the courage to ask Matty out by then and Carlos would see that I had a boyfriend, a boyfriend barely taller than him and only a few years older, but still a boyfriend.
When I got home, it was barely 10:30, but Matty was already asleep on the couch. The firestick was set on YouTube and music videos were playing. He looked young and peaceful. His glasses were askew on his face. I took them off and set them on the end table, then I rearranged the sheet over him because I kept the air conditioning much lower than I should in the desert. I squatted down next to him and kissed his forehead.
I wanted to carry him into my bed, but I didn't want to move too fast, and I didn't want to move at all unless he made it clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that he wanted to. While I was smoothing the hair off his brow, I saw something white against the red sheet. I picked it up and looked it over. It was the jock I'd worn while exercising today. I smiled at the boy's handsome face and then put the jock on his pillow next to his nose. The little horndog had been sniffing my jock while I was out. I kissed my fingers and pressed them to his lips before going to my empty bed.