MP0;Desperate Heart Chapter II Nicholas X Edited by Jeff Loux
This story is 100% true but names have been changed to protect the identity of those involved. I hope you enjoy this story.
Previously on Desperate Heart:
I woke up so late the next day that no one was in the house. I decided to go out for a walk to clear my head. I put on my coat and cried a little still feeling the pain in my heart. I walked out the door and looked back knowing, if I didn't come back, no one would miss me. I thought about moving out, moving far away, but it wouldn't matter. I looked forward and started walking.
--Now back to the story.--
I walked down the cold streets of Minnesota Falls. It was only going to be a few days before Winter came, and then I wouldn't be able to escape my house, except for work. I passed houses filled with happy families playing games or watching movies together. All I could do was swear under my breath and long for the day when I too might have a family like that.
I walked right by work, and my boss called me to work right then and there. I decided to work there and get out of the cold. Minutes seemed like hours, but I knew that I was not going to last much longer at work so I left. I got home and not a minute later I was yelled at. What else was new? I apparently didn't cook food for my brothers when they got back home, and I was told that I am not responsible enough for anything.
My parents decided to go out for the night and put my youngest brother, who's 17, in charge of me. I had to do what my brother told me to do, or I would get yelled at again. It must have been about five hours later when my parents finally got home. My brother said I did nothing just to get me in trouble. After about an hour of being yelled at, I went to my room to get away from everyone. I laid on my bed, opened my drawer, and took out a bottle of pills. I knew all I had to do was take a handful. I dumped at least 10 or 11 pills into my hand and brought them to my mouth, but I couldn't do it. I put the pills back in the bottle and put them away for a later day.
I decided to check my e-mail for any good news. All that was there was spam and a letter from my pen-pal in Japan. I closed my e-mail and turned on some music to help myself relax. I gradually drifted off to sleep. I woke up hours later and looked over to see my clock displaying 2:00 AM in bright red numbers. I put on my boots and a jacket and left the house quietly. I left a note saying I was leaving and not coming back. I looked back at my house and thought that this would be the day I finally leave. I walked around for about two hours before I was too tired and hungry to go on. I didn't have any of my personal stuff with me so I shamefully turned around and went back home knowing I had chickened out again.
I took the note, went to my room, and made the promise that one day soon I would leave and never come back for good. I checked my Facebook and saw that Rye had moved out of the state and is now in NY with his new boyfriend. I closed my Facebook in disgust. Reading a book would clear my mind; I hoped. Halfway through the book I was tired of it and shut it sharply, the pages making a cracking sound as they came together. I was too upset to deal with this drama. I closed my eyes and went to sleep.
I woke up about four hours later and did the morning chores, and took care of the animals. I was relaxing by 12pm when I heard my favorite ringtone going off: Don't be a drag, just be a queen. Whether you're broke or evergreen You're black, white, beige, Chola descent You're Lebanese, you're orient. Whether life's disabilities Left you outcast, bullied or teased Rejoice and love yourself today 'Cause baby, you were born this way.
Only one person has that ringtone. She's the only friend I have left, and she's at work. I swear I can only talk to Saharah (Don't ask). She and I are in the same boat, so to speak, expect she was rescued and is off her boat of secrets. I, however, am still waiting to be rescued.
We talked for 30 minutes or so before she had to get back to work. She asked if I could come in later. I said sure, anything to get me out of the house. I closed my phone and went to lie down and relax when I heard another familiar tone: Do you remember when you were young, And you wanted to set the world on fire? Do you remember when you were young, And you wanted to set the world on fire?
"Hi, Joe. How are you?" I asked as soon as I opened the phone.
"Doing decent, dude," Joe replied
I remember when I first met Joe. He was talking about starting a revolution to free people from government mind control. He's crazy, but I do have things in common with him.
"Dude you there?" Joe asked in a hasty voice
"Yeah dude, I'm here. What's up?" I said with no enthusiasm.
"I think the government has bugged me. There's a black van outside my place. It's been there for hours!" Joe said with fear in his voice.
"Dude, that is the Laundromat's van," I said mockingly. "You opened the doors last time, remember?"
"Whatever, dude. When I'm strapped to a table with my brain missing, then you'll be sorry," Joe replied angrily
"Good luck with that you don't even have a brain," I said happy to have gotten in my snide remark.
"Fuck you, dude! I don't see how Rye will ever be yours if you're going to be a dick to people!" Joe hung up the phone.
I slammed the phone shut and went to laptop to work on my art. It was the only thing I could do to keep my mind off the anger I felt for Joe.
"I hope they do take his brain because he's nothing but a jackass sometimes," I thought with a little laugh. Two hours later my brothers came home in a horrible mood. What else is new? They go to school still and get picked on because I was different in High School. I sometimes feel bad for them, and sometimes I don't.
I took care of my brothers needs and helped them with their homework. About an hour or so later my dad came home complaining about work and said he was going to lie down. He told me to wake him up in an hour. I went to my room and grabbed the pills. I knew I had to do it now. I was tired of all my pain. I dumped the whole bottle into my hand. I was about to take them when I heard something I wish I hadn't.
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Chapter III on its way
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