Well, I feel like I'm nearing the end of this story so here goes nothing. Thanks to all of you who have supported me with all your nice emails! I hope that Desperate Measures ends on a good note.
Disclaimer: I do not know the BSB nor do I know their orientation. This is but a figment of my imagination and is not true. All those under 18 are advised not to continue reading because this story contains content of an adult nature.
I didn't know what exactly woke me up. Was it that my beautiful dreams ended, or was it because I felt this need to look at Nick's face bright and early in the morning. Or was it because my stomach was growling mercilessly?
Nevertheless, I woke up from an unspectacular dream in which Nick was dumping me for Michael. How could that oaf still be in my dreams? My mind was screaming in agony for the living nightmare to stop.
I nearly slipped off the mattress as I was caught up in my sea of endless thoughts. To my content, I did not fall off lest I should wake up Nick in the process. I quickly stood up and headed towards Nick's bed. The light was nice a bright so that I saw his delicate face resume a somewhat more lively tinge of pink. I smiled to myself. Once we got back to Florida, this whole business with the kidnapping and rape would be behind us and Nick would heal faster.
I was talking about his emotional scar. To have someone as digusting as Michael violate that body! But now, Michael is done for. Nothing could protect him against his legal punishment for his disgusting deeds.
Nick suddenly moved a little under his sheets. I could tell he was in pain from the expression on his face. I walked up closer to have a look. I was startled when he opened his eyes and stared at me. "What are you doing up so early, Kevin?" he asked sleepily.
I smiled in spite of myself. "To see your face, all cuddled up under the sheets. You look good this morning."
Nick smiled slightly. "Just numb and in pain. You look rather wasted yourself."
"Nick, I . . . " I suddenly had this urge to tell him that I would be there for him forever. I wanted to tell him so bad that the worse was over, that I've learned my lesson. And I went ahead and did. "Once we get out of the hospital, we can start all over again. You and me. After what Michael did, I was consumed in so much jealousy. You didn't know how I felt then seeing him hurt you like that."
Nick gazed at me with some disbelief in his eyes. "Kevin, it's okay. It wasn't your fault."
"That's not what I'm getting at. Nick, will you be my . . . "
At that moment, Brian made his grand entrance, cutting off my eloquent albeit spontaneous speech and making my veins pop out from anger. He had ruined a perfectly good time for me.
"Hello, Nicky!" Brain beamed innocently. Talk about a thick skull. Did he not realize I needed my privacy with Nick.
"Hello, Brian!" Nick answered in return. I was going to explode.
"I talked to the doctors, Nick. They said that you could start eating once your stomach works again, which is in three days. Then you stay for a few more days so that you heal better. Then, hopefully within a week's time, you get to go home with us."
Nick groaned. "A week?" he asked weakly. "I don't want to be here anymore."
"Nick," I intercepted. "You've got to work with the doctors. No funny things while you're here, okay?"
A week! That would give me enough time to get my act together and get him to accept my proposal.
"Was I interrupting anything?" Brian suddenly asked.
"NO!" Nick and I bothe exclaimed at once, and seeing our flushed faces, Brian smirked.
"Well, good. Then I'll stay," Brian answered with a sly grin. I moaned. I quickly stole a glance at Nick, only to see him grinning as well. So the little bugger thought that this was amusing, eh? Were they both here to tease me?
"So Brian," I said casually, "dear cousin, I see you've brought some flowers."
Brian blushed a little. "Yeah, it's for you Nick! Do you like it?" He asked tentatively as he pulled out a bunch of roses. Nick's face lit up a little and he nodded.
Then Brian got evil and said, "But I'm sure it's nothing compared to Kevin's presence, right?" Nick blushed ten shades of red. I wanted to strangle Brian for his lack of consideration for Nick's delicate state.
"Have you proposed to him yet, Kevin?" Brian said out of the blue, making me gape without shame.
"Brian!" I exclaimed in utter disdain. Brian ignored my exasperated look and turned towards Nick.
"Nick, you've gotta give Kevin a chance. I should have known to let Kevin seduce you on his own. He's incapacitated when it comes to love. Actually, I take that back. He stinks when it comes to love. You'll have to overlook his silly ineptitude and accept his love for what it's worth. He loves you, Nick. He truly does, and I'm his witness. When I saw how jealous he was of me yesterday, I knew that he has it for you really bad. And he's only realizing it now. So when he does finally get around to his proposal, don't hesitate to accept it!"
Brian stopped after the words seamlessly slipped out of his tongue. I was speechless. Brian had, in one short speech, gained more ground for me than I would ever have gotten by myself in the next week.
Brian gave me a goofy grin.
"Thanks, Bri," I said as my eyes shifted from him to Nick uncertainly. If that little speech didn't sway Nick, nothing else would. I prayed in my mind that Nick would accept.
"Thanks Frick," Nick echoed. I nearly cried at his resolution. He had accepted!
Brian beamed as he winked at me. I couldn't believe it. No wonder I loved him so much. He would be, from now on, my favorite cousin. I would never again cross him again, I swore it.
Without another word, Brian walked past me to leave Nick and I. He elbowed me in the ribs once before leaving though and whispered in my ears to not let this opportunity go to waste. I swore to myself that I wouldn't.
I walked up to Nick and reached out to feel his hand. It was cool to the touch, but I felt ecstatic. Once he was stronger, that touch would hopefully mean more to him than just a hand to hold onto for support.
"Did you really mean that you want me?" I asked.
Nick smiled weakly. "Brian was pretty convincing." As an afterthought, he added, "and you were too."
I felt myself getting all mushy. I wanted to kiss him, but was afraid that I would hurt him so I settled instead on giving him a peck on the cheek.
"You won't regret this," I smiled brightly at him. I almost missed it when he whispered, "I hope you won't either."
That one week passed by so quickly I was so sad when Nick was out of the hospital. He had let me stay with him the whole week and let me feed him once he was able to eat. He recovered rather slowly, according to the doctors, but I didn't care. In one week, he was discharged and I hauled him back to Florida with me and Brian.
The moment our plane hit the Southern state, AJ and Howie were ready greeting us with a bunch of Nick's favorite treats. I had to admit that it was one of our funnest days ever. We partied for the rest of the day, keeping track of Nick's health and letting him rest whenever he wanted to. Finally, we all headed for bed. That night, particularly, I was going to ask Nick if I could stay in bed with him. I didn't want to push for anything sexual.
All I wanted was to cuddle up to him. I think he got rather frightened when I followed him into his room.
"Kevin?" he asked me uncertainly.
"Nick? Can I . . . stay here, in your room, tonight? Just so we could, you know, cuddle or something. I'm not asking for you to sleep with me. Just wanted us to be closer and warmer."
It took him a while to think it through. "Yeah." I could tell he was nervous. The rape was too fresh in his mind for him to accept physical intimacy this early on. But he had to start thinking some time, right? I tried to convince myself of this.
I slowly walked up to him and put my arms around him, pulling his warm body into mine. "I'll try to be gentle, okay? I won't do anything you don't want me to do."
Nick slowly nodded his head. I smiled and slowly pulled his shirt off. Then I proceeded to his pants, purposely leaving his boxers on. He gazed at me nervously, but I tried to look as casual as I could. I then stood up again and lifted him up from the floor, carrying him to the bed. He had his arms around me as I carried him. I then gently placed him on the bed and proceeded to undress myself, leaving my boxers on as well.
I slowly laid down on the bed and slid under the covers. I heard him take a big breath when our bare skins touched and he started to panic a little, but I steadied him with my arms. "Shhhh, it's okay. You're safe. We're not going to do anything."
He calmed down slightly, but I could still feel his heart pounding wildly. Every muscle of his was tense. I tried to stroke the tension away from him, but it took a good hour before he started to relax enough to let his head lay on the pillow limply. I spooned him with my arms. We finally got into a comfortable position and he was able to fall into a deep sleep.
I smiled as I looked at his body. So many scars had made their mark on him, some less visible than others. It was a wonderful start though. True, he wasn't too receptive to me now, but I knew he was trying really hard. I could tell from the way he yielded to my advances. I never knew that he had loved me so much. He was so willing to make it work despite all the pain that I had inflicted on him, despite all the nasty circumstances that everyone put him through.
It was strange for me as well. It was as if I had closed a door to my past. The sarcasm that I used to carry with pride now seemed ludicrous in the face of Nick's love. The hatred that I harbored not too long ago simply dissipated as I stopped struggling against acknowledging my desires.
I knew I had a little more road to tread before Nick would open to me entirely. And then there was his leukemia to deal with. But I had talked to the doctors earlier on and they were going to start therapy on him soon. They were very confident that he would make it through.
But that didn't bother me, as long as Nick didn't push me away. Even if for one day, I could have his love to myself, I could say I have lived life to its fullest.
I smiled and kissed Nick on the back of his neck. No more obnoxious boyfriends for me anymore. No more silly, senseless sex. I found what I was missing all these years. There was really no more need to play the game of love because I had finally won its greatest prize.
The End