This is the 16th chapter of Detectives Log - "Suckin' the Poor Sap Dry"
CHAPTER SIXTEEN - Suckin' the Poor Sap Dry
Now, back to the case of the embezzling partner, my first move was to subpoena the bank statements for over the past few months or so, since this poor sap never seen 'em and they were nowhere to be found. I could then comb over all these transactions. I got together with the poor sap and there were a bunch of withdrawls and checks he didn't recognize. I saw there were a bunch of checks made out to someone named Chesterton. "ya know who this one is?", I says. He had no idea. There were some pretty huge amounts, though, I tell ya, like $4,000 here, a copule-a grand there. Some pretty outrageous sums made out to "cash". Holy semoleons, this one was really cleanin' out this guy's clock. I decided to do this one pro-bono for the time bein', but if we get the cash back, then I'd move in for the kill, so to speak. But first off, on a personal note, the poor sap did say there was a costume contest and Eddie and I did decide to go to this thing. I did see this costume shop what was right in our neighborhood, so I stopped off and got the Batman and Robin suits, just like in my daydream. I didn't go through all-a that "close your eyes and I'll dress ya" crap I thought about. I says, "kid, why dontcha try on that costume for the contest". "Sure thing, Mike. I'll go get it." "No need, I got it" Eddie was pretty intrigued, which is GOOD for a detective. "Close your eyes, kid, this is gonna blow you away." I took it out of the box and just held it up. It was a pain in the ass 'cuz Robin had about 12 pieces I had to juggle - cape, vest, pants, shirt, belt. Man, it must've taken this kid a year to get dressed every day. Anyways, Eddie opened his eyes, as well as his mouth. "Aw, man, this is incredible. Wow, is that hot! You mean I get to dress like Robin?" "Uh-huh. Of course, I'll be Batman." "Well, I didn't think you was gonna be Catwoman. Lemme go try it on, I can't wait to model it for ya." "Okay", I says, climbin' into my Bat-suit. I came outta one room in my outfit and he came outta the other with his. Oh, ya shoulda seen us. Pretty hot stuff. We took pictures of each other in the suits, then Eddie thought we should have one taken together, so we put the timer on the camera. I stood with my hands on my hips, legs spread wide, the seam runnin' on the inside of my legs got Eddie pretty hot. "Boy, I'd love to get my fingers runnin' up and down on that seam." "What the hell is stoppin' ya?", I says. Oh, but if Eddie thought I was something, you shoulda caught a gander at him. He stood with his legs spread wide and clutching his fist. I wish we coulda stayed like that, but this is for a case we're on, good tax deduction, too, I thought. We were kinda noticin' each other, the seam up my legs, the mask around his head. I love the way his eyes kinda burned through the mask, and then his mouth. He had his mouth in that Burt Ward pout. This kid was really into it.
On the night of the contest, Eddie and I appeared at the club in all of our finery. The room was pretty festive, what with the video screens showin' tapes of strippers and that kinda thing. But the looks we got, especially Eddie. Cripe, some of them were drooling over him. This one pervert walked past and ran his hand up Eddie's leg to his crotch and I had to pull him up on that. I says, "Hey, the Boy Wonder ain't for gropin' - he's with me, ya get my meanin'?" The guy was pretty ballsy and smarted off at me, "what are ya gonna do, hit me with your batarang or something?" Better yet, Eddie clobbered him, first in the gut, then as the guy bent over, he popped him in the kisser. Oh, we won the contest, hands down. There was some stuff like master and servant shit goin' on, then some loser got all in good fairy drag with the wand and everything, but the audience really ate us up, or at least wanted to, anyway (heh-heh). This other guy went up to Eddie and I thought, "holy crap, I got my work cut out for me tonight". But he didn't try nothin'. As they talked, I kept my eye on them. Eddie, to his credit, kept a safe distance, but wanted to hear what this one had to say:
EDDIE - This other guy didn't try nothin', he just schmoozed me and all that, sayin' I'd be a really big hit at this bar he runs. "No foolin'? Ya run a bar and you're hangin' out here?" "Yeah", he said, "checking out the competition so we do the exact opposite. Like two chicks wearing the same dress. You don't want that." I laughed at that analogy and he goes on, "it opened about a month ago, doing gangbuster business. It was by some miracle, too" "Yeah, how's that?" "I had some trouble getting the money together, then this guy I started seeing hears about what I wanted to do and he fronted me the money." "No foolin'! That was pretty good of him." I didn't think anything weird about it, it was all just small talk. He thought I looked good as Robin and all that, so.......I asked what the hours are, where it was and all that, again, just small talk, I didn't even know if I'd ever go, I was just bein' nice, I guess. He wasn't gonna miss me not bein' there, and there are a million gay guys dressin' like superheroes, so....."Okay", I thought to myself, stickin' the card in my, uh, utility belt. I walk back over to the boss and he sees the card stickin' out, "let's have a look at it".
I see Eddie standin' over there talkin' to this guy who liked him in the suit, keepin' a good eye on him, all the way. I trusted Eddie, but I wasn't sure about this one, especially after that other one. Crap, that one really creeped me out. His hand goin' into regions already staked out by yours truly. Anyways, Eddie comes back with this card stickin' out of his utilty belt and I says, "lemme see that". I read it and was pretty alarmed, "Eddie", that's the one. "huh?" "Them statements, a bunch of checks made out to someone Chesterton." "Uh, okay, not sure I follow ya". I show him the card, the name on the bottom said, Skip Chesterton, Sole Propreitor". Eddie's mouth opened wide, "HOLY....." "PRECISELY!" I snapped my fingers and pointed at him, "you're goin' to this place. You're wearin' a wire, I'm tapin' it all. We're gonna nail this bastard if it takes everything we got." "Roger", Eddie saluted me, boy-scout style.
EDDIE The boss put two and two and came up with a whopper! The guy I that was schmoozin' me turns out to be this one that the poor sap's partner was frontin' the money to. I was gonna go there with a wire and see what I got. I went back to Chesterton and said, "uh, hey, this place sounds pretty good. What time ya open tomorrow?" "Tomorrow? Oh, why not tonight?", he says, slightly rubbin' the sleeve of my costume, I brushed it away. "Hey. man, that's for my partner. We got a thing goin'." "Well, okay I can respect that, I guess". I started to take my mask off, but he said, "no need, what a bod like that, I'd recognize you anywhere. Come have a drink on the house. We'll talk." "Sounds good", I said, saluting him boy-scout style. Mike likes it when I do it, so I do it a lot, I guess (heh-heh).
Before Eddie took off to the new club, I fitted him for the wire. His shirt was off, I tape it right in the middle, right between his pecs. "I'll help you with that", says Eddie. "No thanks, I got this myself", I says. It was my pleasure, holdin' the wire up to his chest, right between his pecs. I grabbed a couple of pieces of tape and smoothed it on him, he starts moanin'. "mm, I love that", he says. I figured I'd get in a few licks on his nips while I was at it, figurin' might as well mix business with pleasure. I started pinchin' his nips, he starts gaspin', glidin' his hands over mine as I do my stuff. Moans turned into little screams, "it ain't pain, it's ecstacy", he says. "I knew that, I know you very, very well", I says. "But back to business. You open up and gab as much as you can and I'll tape the whole thing. We'll see what we get on this bastard." Another boy scout salute, "aye-aye, sir", he says. And he was off.
EDDIE So, I get to this place and see the joint was jumpin'. I got a few stares and all that, didn't see no one checkin' ID at the door, or nothin', so I was a little curious about that. I hook up with Chesterton and say, "hey, I'm here for my free drink." He takes a look at me and says, "a ha. I knew I'd recognize you with that bod. Welcome to the Chesterton Den of Iniquity". I laugh at this, a little nervously, hopin' I wasn't gettin' lured into some orgy, or nothin'. I sure wish the boss was here, but he's tapin' everything as it goes on, so......it sure ain't the same without him, though. Funny how that works out. I been to a lot of clubs in my time and all, but since I met the boss-man, it's a whole new ball game. I felt lonely for him. A couple of hours without him and already I feel so empty. Why wasn't he here, arm around me, kissin' me as I hung out at this place? I look around and all I see is the boss. A guy walks up to me and goes, "hey, doll face, where's Batman?" "You recognize me?" "Sure, with that bod, who wouldn't?" He leans in and whispers to me, "you should dress like that all the time. You were the hottest thing there last night. I would love it if you'd slide down my bat pole some time." "Sorry, but I got a guy, you know." "So, where is he?" I pointed to my heart, not the wire, but to my heart. "He's in here. I carry him in here at all times." Then it dawns on me, if he's in my heart all the time like I says he is, why do I feel so lonely without him? Answer, I don't feel his tongue in my mouth. I don't feel his hands on me. I don't feel his manhood inside me. I don't have mine in him. His teeth ain't grazin' on my nips. He ain't there makin' me moan as he does that. His manhood ain't rubbin' against mine. His cum ain't bein' splashed on my chest and I ain't rubbin' it all over, licking the excess off-a my fingers. Anyways, I got a job here to do.
I chatted with Chesterton, more small talk, ya know. I notice there wasn't a bouncer or no one checkin' ID. "How do you know no minors are gettin' in?", I says. He says, "I don't". "uh, ain't ya takin' a pretty big chance?" "Maybe. Hey, wait a minute, I know what you're up to", he says grinnin'. Aw, holy crap I start sweatin' it out big time. My heart poundin'. Poor Mike, when he hears nothin' but thumpin' on them tapes he's makin'. "You saw the Bouncer Wanted sign and ya wanna try to get the job, right?" "Uh....." "I knew it - I could spot ya a mile away. I like that in ya, kid, you're shrewd." I was relieved, I was thinkin' "shrewd, I thought I was screwed!" "Tell ya what, you're hired" I didn't know what to say, but I thought this'll be a good way to infiltrate the bad guy. I mean, we already got them cancelled checks and all, but maybe they was up to somethin' else, somethin' else no good. "Well, I'm afraid ya got me, but thanks, I'd love the job. When do I start?" "How about tomorrow night. It's a little late now, no sense checking ID's in retrospect, you know." "Sure, I can make it. What time should I be here?" "Seven, the place opens at eight. Who knows, I might find a couple of other things I might like ya to do", he says, touching my chest. "Oh, what's that under there?" Oh, God, I thought, I think he felt it. I acted quickly, "stitches. I'm a bit self-conscious, you know, the scar and all. I guess I'll not be doin' any striptease for a while, heh-heh. I had a by-pass recently." "Wow, a young guy like you? You're too young for heart failure." I thought to myself, "oh, yeah, then why am I palpatatin' now?" Holy arrhythmia!