CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE - A Way-Out Stake-Out
My God, what a day this was - HOO-BOY was it somethin'! Anyway, We get another one of them calls from someone sayin' can ya look out for this one, tell me what he's doin' and all, so I think "okay, fine", it's a few bucks. Now, things are lookin' not too shabby these days. Client comes by, all dressed to the nines, he's a boss, and he thinks one of his own ain't up to no good, stealin' and that. Says he wants to know what he's doin' and where and with who, and I think, "should be a piece of cake" - he slips me a snapshot and tells me this one's address and everything, so me and Eddie was up to it once again. God, I gotta tell ya, though, I'm really proud of this kid. He got his license and everything, so now he can practice detectivism, or whatever you call it - uh, yeah, he's a full time gumshoe, now. Cops can respect him, and that's all he ever wanted. Man, he just loves the fact the cops look up to him. He's in all his glory. It's a two-way love match, I tell ya. So we're talkin' to this guy, the crook's boss, I mean, and he's goin' on, if I can remember right, "I hope you can find out what he's up to - if anything. Apart from the alleged embezzlement, he's just been an awful employee, late with all his work, coming in and leaving when he wishes to, he may be a bit on drugs and drink, I'm not certain. He's changed so much over the last few years. We were very close friends, he and I, and it's very disconcerting, his behavior is." "Alleged?" "Yes, again, I'm not certain of anything he's doing. It may be sheer paranoia on my part, but I just think he's up to something. This is mostly for my peace of mind." "Okay, well ya know it's $200 a day plus expenses." "Oh, yes, I'm very well-prepared to pay whatever it is - I was given clearance by the firm to have him investigated. Many of my employees think there's been quite a change over him at present and it's really affecting the office atmosphere." "Hey, we'll do everything possible. Hopefully it ain't nothin', but if it is, maybe we can head 'im off at the pass." "Oh, you mean nip it in the bud". Eddie laughed. A culture clash this was turnin' into. As the gentleman got up to take off, me and him shook on it. "Thank you for taking this on. I hear you're one of the best." So this guy takes off and me and Eddie just sort of stand there for a sec. "Pretty good lookin'. How'd ya like to work for that guy, huh?" Eddie was standin' behind me and takes ahold of my shoulders, chews on this and says, "nah, I mean, he's all right and everything, but you're the only man I ever wanna work on - - oops, I mean, work for!" "Ya had it right the first time, kid", and we proceed to make it. As we're kissin', Eddie's practically chewin' my face off, but that's all right because I just love his mouth. Aw, this mouth'll kill ya. His lips are so soft and supple and I love watchin' 'em no matter what they do - laugh, cry, grit his teeth, kiss, suck me dry, moan in ecstacy. I love 'im and respect everything he says and all, but I just love watchin' 'im say it, too. Aw, man, he's a real superstar. We're kissin' and everything and he's feelin' up my chest, makin' note of the fact that my nipples ain't hard. "Not to worry, boss-man, I'll take care of that in no time right quick", and just has 'em for breakfast. Aw, man, you ain't lived til ya had this guy on your nips, boy. Just the right combo of gentle and rough. He bites and tugs a little to make ya moan, then licks it to soothe it, and then goes at it again. My nips were gettin' so hard I thought they was a-gonna burst. Somethin' else did, too. I start strokin' it when he's workin' on my chest, and says, "here, let me take care of that for ya" and starts strokin' it himself. Man, that's beautiful. He stroked my tip very slowly, softly, causin' it to throb a little, filling me with this warm, shaky feelin' - leavin' me breathless, there. I start breathin' in and out, real fast, see? I start shakin' - oh, man, how can somethin' that hurts so bad feel so good at the same time! Eddie can feel my cum about to squirt out. "Come on, boss-man, I can feel your cum about to squirt out". It was just like a fountain, it was. Then Eddie licked up the excess cum off my cock, like a cat givin' itself a bath, then licked his lips and smacked 'em, smilin' that hot smile of his. "Come on, Boss-Man, me and you got a stake out to do."
We sat across the street from Mr. Enron's house, see, and followed 'im for the rest of the day. First stop, The Worst National Bank of Chicago - just my little joke - it's really Metropolitan National Bank. No premiums when ya open somethin' up, not even a goddam toaster. What the hell, man, they expect me to go out and buy me one of them when they got all my money? Sheesh!
Anyways, Mr. Money-bags walks in and me an Eddie decide we're gonna make one heck of a withdrawl. Before I get in line behind 'im, I says to Eddie, I says, "hey, get by the front door". He snaps his fingers and points at me, like sayin' "can do". Man, the guy really gets me goin' when he's all macho and that. But first thing's first. We gotta nab this one, catch 'im in the act, nip his ass in the bud, or nip his bud in the ass, I dunno. So, anyways, Eddie's over by the door standin' there like a GQ guy. Man, ya oughta see 'im - a baseball cap with the curved bill, grey short sleeved tee-shirt, and jeans lookin' like they's painted on 'im. Oh, yeah, did I tell ya about this butt of his? I mean, Holy C-Moon!
Anyways, Money-bags goes up to the counter, his back to me, but I can see his wad from a mile away. No, no, no, his wad of cash! Holy Jumpin' Jackpot, this guy's loaded! I overhear 'im, "I would like to make a deposit of $15,000 please". The teller says he's gotta do what ya call a CPR or somethin' - somethin' the tax guys gotta have if you do a big deposit. So then he gets slick. So then, he says, "well, how about $9,900". The teller starts goin' on about changin' his mind and what's goin' on and things like that, ya know. Finally, he goes he's gonna take his business somewhere else. I walk up behind him, put my hand on his shoulder and calmly, smoothly but firmly say "that won't be necessary." I whip out my badge, "Batz, P.I., how ya doin'!"
EDDIE Aw, man is this guy smooth or what! Atta boy, Boss-man! I give 'im the thumbs up. He gives me a wink. I'm all set ready to pounce on this guy if he tries to make a break for it, and he will, too. No self-respectin' crook's just gonna say, "all right, ya got me". What's the fun in that! I like a good chase. Keeps me in shape - the way the Boss-Man likes it. I just look at the door im guardin' behind me when suddenly these two guys come bargin' in with ski masks and guns and all that. I remember shoutin' "HOLY....." and that was that. It was all black - nothin' else.
MIKE - I says to this guy, I says, "a mutual friend of ours wants to talk to ya about ya dippin' into the kitty a little too much. Ya know what they say about little boys who keep raidin' the ol' cookie jar." Then before I knew it, this guy's takin' a couple hundred rounds of ammo across his chest and falls over dead. I look over and see Eddie gettin' belted in the balls with a shotgun, then cracked across the back of the head. I scream and run over to him, or at least start to, then I get both barrels pointed right at my face. "Shut the fuck up and get the fuck on the ground. Do it now!" Aw, shit, I got my hands up, I'm goin' nuts, my partner's hurt, I got guns in my face and I get punched in the gut, fallin' over. I look over and see Eddie's not movin' - his eyes are closed. My God, I'm thinkin' the kid's been killed. "EDDIE!" I shout out and get a steel toe boot right in the ribs. The robbers spray a couple hundred rounds in the ceilin', plaster fallin' all over the place, there, shootin' out a couple light bulbs. "ALL OF YOU, GET THE FUCK ON THE FLOOR! NO ONE ELSE WILL GET HURT, YOU JUST DO WHAT WE TELL YA AND GET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR WAY!"
The tellers scramble to give these maniacs everything they want, then they finally split, only to be met by the cops. I'm really glad Eddie couldn't see what happened next. It'd just break his heart. There was a shoot-out with the cops. I ran over to one of the windows when they split and saw the whole thing. One cop goes down right after the other. Screamin' cops, cop-blood all over the parkin' lot, black-n-whites all made into swiss cheese. Finally a SWAT team comes in and blasts these two morons out with AK-47s, savin' the day. The cops were all shot up and bleedin' cryin' and all that, but no one was killed, but for those two sick fucks that tried to kill all of us. Paramedics were comin' in to pick up the battered bloody blue boys, then they came in to look after us. I pointed Eddie out. We're taken to the hospital, to the trauma center. Aw, cheezus, I'm pacin' back and forth, I'm goin' nuts, I can't take this. Nothin' nobody never did to me got to me as bad as this one. Cheezus, Eddie's out cold. Meanwhile, I whip out my cell and call out client. Yeah, there's still a job to be done. I wanna be professional, I wanna close this case, doin' it for Eddie. He'd see this thing through if he were awake. He wouldn't want me wankin' off on the job. I gotta tell this guy our suspect was shot to death in a bank robbery. I mean, it'd be all over the news and all that, but I thought it seemed good comin' from me. Then this bitch comes up behind me, "Excuse me sir! SIR! SIR! SIR!" Gettin' irritated, I turn around and snap at her, "what the hell do you want?!?" "There is no cell phone usage allowed in a hospital. You have to get off the phone right now!" "What the hell are you, my MA?" "I'm the Head Nurse of this floor and you are breaking the rules. You don't turn off that phone, I'm going to insist you leave these premises." Not buyin' into this for a second, I says to her, I says, "I'm a Private Eye, my partner's in there dyin' without one of you frickin' air-heads doin' nothin' about it, you don't get the hell away from me, I'm throwin' ya in the can for obstruction, you got that?" Another nurse comes up to me with some papers to sign, givin' 'em consent to operate on my poor boy. "Operate? What the hell do ya mean?" "He's lost a lot of blood, his vital signs don't look very promising and we need your consent to perform emergency surgery." Grabbin' for the clipboard, I says, "sure - where do I sign?" She don't let me have it, askin' if I'm next of kin. "Nah, he ain't got no family - they're both dead." "And what relation are you to Edward Robinson?" "What the hell you wanna know that for?" "You're not a blood relative, it's imperative we know what relation you are to the patient." Cheezus, I'm up against it. I can't just say he's my buddy, that ain't enough for these bitchy blob bureaucrats. I gotta say what we really are - tell the truth about me and Eddie. It's a hospital, they gotta keep it quiet, so I went for it. "We're what ya call there your domestic partners". "Fine", Nurse Wretched says, "just sign here, giving your consent and we'll proceed with the operation. There's a waiting area down the hall." "How long will it take, do ya know! When can I see him?" "That's difficult for me to say, the doctor himself will have to speak to you." From a distance I see them wheel Eddie away. I scream out to him, "Eddie! Eddie, it's me, I'm right here. Your boss-man is here for ya, pal."
A few hours later - Christ, it felt like a few months later. I'm gettin' really drained at this point. Then I see some guy in scrubs come out to me. "Mr. Batz, I'm Doctor Wheeler, I performed the surgery on Edward Robinson." "How the heck is he? Is he gonna be okay?" The doctor seemed hestitant, then said, "why don't we sit down. There's a couple of things I need to tell you." Aw, Jesus Christ, aw Jesus frickin' Christ almighty, what's this gonna be? "Mr. Batz, your partner made it through surgery. He was very strong and he's going to recover from this." I put my head in my hands and cried into them, "aw, thank you God, thanks a whole lot." Then I look back up and says to him, I says, "but what else is there?" "Well, Mr. Robinson suffered a groin injury that'll heal on its own. It was minor, his pride may have been hurt more than the muscle itself." "Okay, that don't sound so bad, that's all right." "But when he was hit in the back of the head with the weapon, his skull was severely fractured, and, upon impact, some pieces of his skull punctured a major artery in his brain. That was repaired successfully. Now, all we can do is just wait and let time pass." "what the hell ya mean by that?" "I mean it's too soon to tell if Mr. Robinson is going to suffer any brain damage as a result. We just need to give this time."
Aw, Christ, I went pale, it felt like one of them arteries was exploded in me, too. I didn't have no blood left. I grabbed the doctor and wept into his lab coat. The tighter I grabbed, the harder I sobbed, I couldn't stop. "I gotta see 'im, doc, where is he? I gotta see 'im NOW!" "Sure, he's been admitted to a regular room. We saw no need to keep him in Intensive Care. I'll take you to him." "Aw, gee, I'd appreciate that, doc, I really do." The two of us got up and walked over to Eddie's room. When I got to the door, it felt like a year before I got the balls to open it up and walk in. I just kept rememberin' seein' this kid lie splatted out on the bank floor and I didn't wanna see that again. But I wanted to be with 'im. I muttered to myself, I muttered, "ya can't keep guys like us down, 'cuz when we're up, we're always up." I slammed that door open and walked in. I was gonna give fate a kick in the butt it didn't see comin' - 'cuz this is me and Eddie I'm talkin' about here. There he was - breathin' tube in his mouth, his lips parted to make room for it. His right arm crossed across his chest, his other arm lyin' straight, with the tubes in it, and everything. I couldn't take my eyes off them lips on him. I bent over and kissed him softly, gently, I rub my cheek against his. I start strokin' his arms, those beautiful ripplin' muscles he was gonna use to catch Mr. Money-bags. Muscles he used to pound many a crook with. He caught an awful lotta bad guys with these beauties. He held me in 'em. He gave me many a bear hug with 'em. I wanted 'em around me, and couldn't have 'em right now. I wanted him to smile at me, snap his finger and point at me just like at the bank. I wanted to hear him laugh as I kidded him, or when he kidded me. He laughed louder when he kidded around with me, but that's another story for another time. I stood and just looked at him. "Hey, Eddie, it's me, your Boss-man, pal. I'm right here. Waitin' for ya. Where the heck are ya? Come on, we got another perp to bust. Someone's foolin' around on his missus. Someone's doin' some money launderin'." I start snifflin', my voice cracks, "come on, kid, we ain't got all day, man, we gotta get movin'. I leaned forward, I started kissin' 'im some more. "Eddie, PLEASE!" I was cryin'. "I need ya so bad. You're everything to me. The day we met was the happiest day I ever had. You're the brightest part of my life. Them guys that did this to ya got exactly what they deserved - I just wish I was the one that did it. I wanted to do it for ya. Guess what, though, the cops did it. They came through for ya, kid. But, come through for me, huh? Just wake up and we can get the hell outta here and carry on like it's nothin', ya know?" Tears gushin' outta me, I start rubbin' his chest, his nips were gettin' hard. "Aw, man I wish you could feel this. You love it when I do this to ya." I just kept playin' with them, rubbin' them through the gown he was wearin'. Then, I heard music to my ears. The kid started moanin'. I look up and he's smilin' a little. "Okay, kid, ya thought that was somethin' - how's about this, and I reached down and started jerkin' 'im off. I just kept goin' up and down, playin' with his tip. I felt it growin'. YES! I was gettin' through. This kid's brain's gonna be okay. I start strokin' like there ain't no tomorrow. He kept on moanin'. Maybe it was because he was hurtin' from everything, I thought, but I didn't wanna take that chance. He was startin' to come around. I started nibblin' on his jaw line while my hand was still doin' its stuff, he was still moanin'. Then I felt it risin' up inside like lava from Vesuvius, it sprays out about 6 inches. He sits up, his eyes open. "Aw, Holy wet dream. Ya shoulda seen it, man, it was incredible." "Kid, that ain't no dream", I says, showin' him the stain where he splashed me. "You was really out of it. Ya got slammed in a bank robbery. They knocked you unconscious." "Holy crap, did the cops get 'em?" "Boy, did they ever - and how!" "Good." "So how ya holdin' up, kid?" "Good - you?" Kissin' his hand, holdin' it against my chest, and smilin', I says, "good". "Good".
Good.