CHAPTER SEVENTY-ONE - The Case of the Predatory Pill-Pusher (or The
Case of the Stung Stinger)
TWO POLICE OFFICERS ARE ON PATROL - NOTHING'S REALLY BEEN GOING ON ALL DAY.
"God, this is boring, just driving around all day."
His older partner gently admonishes him, "now, now, be grateful for days like these. It's a sure fire guarantee you're going home at the end of your shift."
"Yeah, I know, but when I joined the Police Department, I was ready for some action, and still am."
The older officer, driving, chuckles at his younger partner. "Well, this is the day shift - and this is kind of a quiet sleepy town - not a lot happens around here, but it's up to us to make sure of that."
"I guess I just wanna make a difference around here - really serve and protect others, like the motto says."
"Yeah, I hear ya, but we're doin' the servin' part now - patrollin' the streets - ya never know- the sight of a squad car is enough to discourage someone from pullin' a fast one."
UNTIL - THEY DRIVE UP NEAR A SCHOOL AND SEE A SUSPICIOUS CHARACTER WAITING OUTSIDE THE PLAYGROUND. THIS CHARACTER IS WEARING A WOOL HAT AND SUNGLASSES, AND IT'S IN THE HEART OF SPRING.
"Hey, he looks a little strange. Maybe we oughta question him."
AT THAT MOMENT, SCHOOL LETS OUT AND CHILDREN ARE RUNNING OUT TOWARD THE GATE, HEADING HOME. THAT'S WHEN THE STRANGER MAKES HIS MOVE. HE APPROACHES SOME OF THE CHILDREN WITH SOME OBJECT HE TAKES OUT OF HIS COAT POCKET. THE OLDER OFFICER EVEN SUSPECTS SOMETHING'S UP. THEY PULL IN RIGHT NEAR THE SCHOOL.
"All right, you, just what do you think you're doing?", says the younger officer. T
THEN THE STRANGER PANICS AND STARTS RUNNING OFF. THE OFFICERS ARE IN HOT PURSUIT. THEY DRIVE THE EXACT SAME PATH THIS GUY IS RUNNING, THEN HE DECIDES TO HEAD DOWN AN ALLEY WITH SPEED-BUMPS. THE OFFICERS GET OUT OF THE SQUAD CAR AND DO A FOOT CHASE.
"Stop! Police! Stop in the name of the law!"
THE GUY DOES STOP, BUT ONLY FOR A MOMENT - JUST LONG ENOUGH TO BRANDISH A PIECE.
THE YOUNGER OFFICER GETS HYPER, "Holy Shit! He's got a gun."
THE OLDER OFFICER ORDERS THE GUNMAN TO DROP THE WEAPON, BUT HE OPENS FIRE INSTEAD - STRIKING THE OLDER OFFICER RIGHT IN THE CHEST. THE YOUNGER OFFICER TAKES COVER AND SHOOTS THE GUN OUT OF THE BAD GUY'S HAND, AND YELLS FOR HIM TO FREEZE, BUT THE GUY INSISTS ON RUNNING, THEN THE OFFICER STRIKES THE BAD GUY IN THE LEG, CATCHES UP TO HIM, AND SLAPS ON THE CUFFS. HE CALLS FOR BACK-UP.
"Shots fired, officer down, officer down, shots fired."
HE DRAGS THE BAD GUY OVER TO HIS WOUNDED PARTNER.
"See what ya did, ya piece of crap?"
"So the fuck what! He had it comin'!"
THIS SENDS THE OFFICER INTO A RAGE AND HE BEGINS PUNCHING THE BAD GUY. OTHER SQUAD CARS PULL UP TO THE SCENE, THE OFFICER POINTS TO THE SUSPECT AND HAS HIM DRAGGED AWAY, THEN HE RUNS OVER TO HIS PARTNER.
"Come on, Jack. Ya with me?"
HE RESPONDS, "Yeah, kid, I'm still here. (gasp) Damn good thing I got my vest on, I think it stopped the slug, but man does it hurt like a bitch. Ya call an ambulance?"
"I put out an officer down call, so one should be here pretty quick."
AND SURE ENOUGH THE AMBULANCE COMES AND PARAMEDICS TREAT THE WOUNDED OFFICER, GETTING ALL THE DETAILS FROM HIS YOUNGER, LOYAL OFFICER. THEY ALSO CHECK THE GUNMAN'S WOUNDS AND A POLICE SERGEANT SAYS IT LOOKS LIKE A CLEAN SHOOT. THE OFFICER IS RELIEVED, BUT SAYS,
"Hey, Jack, it figures you'd go and get yourself popped when it's your turn to get the coffee today. You owe me one, ya know."
Jack gives his young charge a look of mock indignation, "yeah, kid, I owe you one, all right - right up your ass."
THEY BOTH LAUGH AND THE YOUNGER OFFICER ASKS THE PARAMEDICS IF HIS PARTNER'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT. HE'S REASSURED THAT THE VEST DID STOP THE BULLET, BUT THERE COULD BE SOME BRUISING AND JACK HAS TO GO IN AT LEAST FOR ONE NIGHT'S OBSERVATION.
MIKE - I was on the phone with the cops - they were telling me about the shooting and that they nabbed a guy.
"Shit! How's he gonna be? Oh, uh-huh, good to know. Yeah, for sure - we're on our way. Hey, Eddie!"
"What's up?"
"Pot-pusher peddlin' to prepubescents right outta school."
"Holy cripe - gettin' kids hooked on stuff at that age - what sense does that make?"
"Absolutely none - but they got somebody - and it looks like it might be a ring - we gotta talk to this guy!"
"Right you are!"
We sped off to the police station and were escorted to the holding cell where they had this piece of crap. As we were being led in, the escorting officer joked with us, "no rough stuff, boys, kick his ass gently, but give 'im a good backhand for me - I had that crap pushed on me as a kid. Miracle I didn't get hooked."
The dealer looked up at us and snarled, "well, if it isn't Clark Kent and Jimmy Olsen."
"Right idea, wrong hero, asshole. Enough about us..."
I took a chair, spinned it around backwards and sat down. Eddie stood right by me, fist in hand, legs spread apart, givin' this scumbag some real menacing glares, ready to pounce at any given moment.
"I want you to tell me what's up with pushin' this shit on little kids, resistin' arrest, attempted assault with a deadly weapon on a police officer, and attempted murder of a police officer with a deadly weapon."
He shrugged and said, "hey, guess it just wasn't their day, huh?"
Eddie starts to lunge, but I hold him back, "not yet, kid. I'll give you the signal."
"You won't let your buddy beat me to a pulp?"
"The longer the wait for dessert, the sweeter the taste, dick-head. Now, the boys outside are suspicious that you're a part of a ring - we've heard about other kids at other schools, so, seein' that you can't be in two places at the same time, how's about comin' clean - givin' the other ones up - even your ringleader."
"You can spare yourself all kinds of grief - we know what's goin' on - give us the dirt-bag's name, and where we can get him."
The suspect was cornered. He reluctantly, but in a state of resignation, sighed heavily and said, "all right - maybe this'll cut some time off what I got comin' - - it's Lex Luthor."
"Eddie - the signal!"
Eddie lunges for the guy and gives him a killer right hook, knockin' him outta his chair, then picks him up and shoves him into a wall and punches him a few more times, I'm callin' out, "hey, kiddo - let's share the wealth, eh?"
"Gosh yes, Boss-Man, how selfish of me."
Then I rip into him, almost knockin' him into the fetal position. I say to Eddie, "watch me set the table with this jack-off!" and I lifted him up and was about to throw him on the interrogation table - -
"Holy Atlas!"
-
- when he started screaming,
"okay! okay! I give up! I'll tell ya what ya wanna know!"
"Say uncle first."
Eddie laughs, "What?"
"Your kingpin's name - NOW!"
"Okay, okay, it's Verona - Juan Verona."
"I said say it, you hose-bag!"
"All right, all right, fuck it, uncle - okay?"
I release my grip and let out a breath, "all right - that's what I'm talkin' about."
Me-n-Eddie take off and Eddie just has to ask me about all that uncle stuff.
"Holy cliche - it's like straight out of a Bowery Boys movie. You guys said that in real life?"
"Oh, yeah, that's what the bullies did to kids back then - they'd pin 'em to the wall and make 'em say it."
"Lemme guess - you did that to a lotta kids, didn't ya?"
I paused and said, "no. They did that...to me", I said haltingly, still bugged by the memory. "I wasn't always this mighty mass of muscle I am now - no, I came up the hard way. I only had myself to rely on in them days, but all that's changed now. I can beat 'em as soon as look at 'em, and I got somebody really good on my side now."
Eddie smiles and blushes, shufflin' his feet, "aw, Boss..."
After we made a hit with our suspect, other members of the ring started showing up and rattin' out their fearless leader. The ball was in our hands now. From what we all heard about this guy, he was pretty damn dangerous, and we were just the men to stop him.
Eddie sat on the edge of the settee with fist firmly in hand, plotting how we were gonna sack this son of a bitch. Then we get a call from the hospital - one of the kids coerced into coughin' it up for cocaine was carted in with convulsions. We raced to the emergency room. ER docs worked tireless over this kid, finally settling him down.
"Is he conscious?" we asked after it was all over.
"Oh, yeah. We drained his blood and performed a transfusion with his type. He's going to be fine."
"Do you think he's up to talkin' to us?"
"Only one way to find out. He is a pretty strong kid."
We walked into the kid's so-called room. Energency rooms only have partitions, like those cheap-ass motels that charge ya 30 clams a night and give ya paper walls and a light socket - all the comforts of home, right?
We were shocked at the youth of this one - he was only 10 years old. Eddie introduced us to him. The boy is really good with kids, I tell ya.
"Hey, there slugger - I'm Eddie, and this is Mike - how's it goin', pal?"
"Uh, okay, I guess - how's it with you?"
"Real good - knowin' you're gonna pull through this."
"I wish I coulda fought him off - he was bigger than me."
I interjected, "how'd he do this to ya?"
"I was walkin' home from school - the principal told me mom was gonna be late pickin' me up 'cuz she got tied up with somethin', so I waited about half an hour, I got bored and just started walkin' - then that's when this man grabbed me, shoved me in an alley and made me sniff some stuff."
"Dirty son of a bitch", I growled through gritted teeth.
"Yeah, that's how they get ya hooked - they find a way to force it in your system, says it makes ya feel real good, then ya gotta have more. Then you end up stealin' from your mom and ev'rything just to get another nose full."
"Can ya describe him? Would ya know him if ya saw him again?"
"Well...he had like a black crew cut, a moustache with some hair on his chin, sunglasses, wore gloves, a tee-shirt under a jacket, and jeans."
"Turns out ya may be in luck", I said. "we caught this guy's friends today and they all gave him up. Now that we got a description, we got his name, number and all, so all we gotta do is track him down."
"Yeah, rest easy, kid. We'll get him. We always get 'em."
The kid stared out for a second and said, "Your names are Mike and Eddie? Are you the Dashin' Duo?"
"The two and only, kiddo."
"This bully at our school - - all the kids started pickin' on him 'cuz I think you busted his dad, or something. I feel kinda sorry for him."
"Why?", I said with a very furrowed brow.
"'cuz no one likes to get picked on - even bullies."
"Don't worry about him - if we got his dad on somethin', then the creep definitely deserved it - and if this kid's out bullyin' the likes of you guys, he's gettin' what's comin', too."
"Anyways, we're gonna let ya get some rest - ya had a pretty tough day - and we're gonna get this guy and bring 'im to justice."
"You think you want me to identify him in a line-up?"
I grinned and chuckled at the kid, "the line-up? How do ya know about all that?"
"My dad's got Dragnet on DVD - he watches it all the time."
"Ya know what else he should get if they ever put it out? Batman!"
"Aw, that's silly. I saw that a few times - that's a pretty weird show."
"It's really just a parody of the comic book - they do the same stuff Gannon and Friday do, but in brighter clothes, that's all."
The kid starts laughing, "and that kid that's always sayin' holy this and holy that - where'd they ever get him?"
"Well, he's just real into fightin' crime, that's all. But in any case, we really appreciate your help, and you'll get better real soon. The doc says you're a pretty strong kid."
The kid laughs again, "yeah, I know - when I was shakin' one of them tried to hold my hands down, but I belted him. I didn't mean to, but I still did."
Me-n-Eddie both laugh and say, "take it easy, kid, and thanks again".
We walk out down the hall aqnd I chuckle at Eddie, "looks like you guys are gonna agree to disagree, huh?"
"Yeah, but he's young yet - he'll come around. But ya know somethin' - about what ya said about bullies gettin' it - kids who turn around and pick on bullies when they're down aren't really any better than they are."
"Yeah, I know, but it feels real good. More importantly, though, now that we got a feel for this guy, we gotta devise a way to nab him somehow. We gotta catch him in the act somehow or else he may just get a slap on the wrist, and we want him locked up for the rest of his life. Let's just go back home and think this through,huh?"
"You said it, Boss-Man - been a pretty tough day so far."
Back at the homestead, Eddie was slowly pacing back and forth, slamming his fist in his hand. I stood with my arms folded.
"Very crafty, cunning and clever, this suspect of ours. Is never once physically present at any crime.
"Holy Charles Manson."
"Apt observation, boy. He has his minions carry out his evil endeavors."
"But with all of 'em locked up and out of circulation, if he wants to stay in business and keep his hands clean, he's gotta round up a whole new crew - and fast, before a new fish comes into the pond."
"Keep talkin', kid, you're gettin' warm..."
Eddie smacks his fist in his hand and points, "and I move in and infiltrate - RIGHT, Mike!"
"WRONG, Eddie!"
"Wrong?"
"Yes, you're too well-known in these parts. Your presence is bound to raise a few eyebrows."
"I could say I'm a turncoat - that I'm..."
"I appreciate your bravery and your willingness, but your accidental self-betrayal might just be the death of you."
"Self-betrayal?"
"Season One - episode 16 - the conclusion of 'Joker Goes to School'. Ring any bells?"
Eddie didn't skip a beat. "By gosh, you're right - Dick Grayson goes undercover, tries a little too hard to keep up his disguise, chokes on a cigarette, then the gang figures he's working for Batman, which almost leads to them getting shot to death in the bar. Holy buckshot!"
"That's too big a chance for us to take. What we need is a decoy."
"I see what you mean - do we go to the police station? The academy?"
"You got the right idea, but those boys'll see their own action soon enough - I was thinking of a student. There's a Department of Criminology at the local university - we can speak to the head of the department and give one of his best students the chance to test the waters of law enforcement first-hand."
"Holy extracurricular activity!"
"Right on the nose, boy."
I kiss him but not exactly on the nose.
"To the university."
Later that day, we hear a knock on our door. There's a young boy standing there, about 6'3, I think - looking pretty eager. Big, beautiful smile - clean shaven, kind of a dishwater shade of blonde hair. He's been out for a jog, it looks like. He's a bit short of breath, he's wearing a slightly sweat-stained tee-shirt - the tight sleeves reveal a couple of well-tanned, muscular arms of smooth, silky, but strong flesh - and a pair of jogging shorts which showcase his muscular, smooth, silky, sinewy legs. As I answer the door, he raises his arm up to wipe his face with his tee-shirt sleeve. I catch a glimpse of pit-hair.
"Hey - good to see you guys again. I hear you're lookin' for someone to help you out a little."
"Have we met before?"
"We sure have. Only ya probably saw me for like a second. You were too busy saving my life and rescuing me from that creep photographer."
Eddie hears the whole thing and walks over, "Of course, Mike - I remember - your name is Chet, right?"
"That's right - Chet Gracen."
EDDIE - GRACEN? Holy serendipity - you talk about a sign.
MIKE - I usher him in and invite him over to our living room to bang this plan out here. Eddie continues.
"I remember you telling me you were nabbed at school. So, you're a Criminology student?"
"Yeah, that's right. I wanted to become a police officer, but I hear ya gotta have at least a couple of years in college first, so I majored in the thing that would matter most - Criminology."
"Good choice, all around. Did the Dean give you any indication of what's going on with us?"
"No, not a thing - just confidential and sensitive information, which is a given, anyway."
MIKE - I try to break it gently to him, let him hear everything before he gets the chance to think it over.
"We're presently pursuing a pill-pusher who runs a ring which forces narcotics on school-children. Now, all the rats in his ring are racked up in the joint, so he's probably out lookin' for new faces."
"Wow, holy talent scout"
Eddie interjects "of the worst kind - he probably promises paydirt, but these goons mostly take the heat for the sale and then this one goes in and collects whatever he can get his hands on - holy talent scout is right."
"We have the name and a method of contact for this scumbag as well as a description. What we're gonna do for the time being is follow him around, stake him out. You ride along with us, and when it looks like you can get him to yourself, then you apply for the job. You wear a wire of course."
"Of course,", says Eddie, "as soon as we catch this louse in the act, then we pounce."
"Boy! Sounds cool - when do we do this?"
"Right away - but there is one thing we have to let you in on. I gotta run this by you and tell you everything there is about our line of work. We put in a lot of hours. We don't even think of sleep til the bad guy is busted and behind bars. We get the upper hand and swoop in for the take most of the time, but we deal with a very crafty, cunning, clever bunch of creeps, and sometimes we're taken by surprise."
"In our time, we've been captured, roped, drugged, beaten, shot. If the enemy doesn't succeed in maiming or mudering us, they'll try to put us asunder - turn us against each other, if they can."
"They never have."
"The boss is right - they never have and they never will because we devote our lives to this line of work, always defending against the loss of our lives, but knowing full well of the possibility, willing to pay the price. If our injuries or, one day, deaths, lead to the arrest and convition of our nemeses, then it's a price well worth it."
MIKE - I lean in, look Chet right in the eyes, hand on his shoulder. Eddie leans in, too.
"Look into my eyes and tell me you still wanna fight crime with us."
He stares right into my eyes, "I wanna fight crime with you."
Eddie pipes in, "now look into mine, and tell me you'll endure anything for the eradication of evil."
Chet does as he's told, looking right into Eddie's eyes and repeating word for word, "I'll endure anything for the eradication of evil."
We stand up straight and excuse ourselves as we discuss the deputization of a decoy.
I stand with arms folded, furrowed brow, Eddie stands with fist in hand, held up to his chest, leaning in and whispering, "whaddaya think, Mike? Is he in."
We look back to see Chet looking right at us with eager, hungry eyes, then turn around again, "it looks like we found ourselves a decoy."
"Right, Boss-Man, as a former hostage and a Criminology student, there's no one better."
We walk over and I stick my hand out, "congratulations, my boy. Consider yourself a decoy."
He leaps up, his eyes widen, his mouth opens.
"Wow! Honest?"
"We're never anything but. Now, this is going to temporarily take you from your studies, so I'm gonna clear this with your Dean - any time you spend in our service will get you extra credit, so no worries about your grade point average."
"Wow! This is the greatest! Ever since you guys saved my life, I was always wishin' I could do something for you in return and now this is it. It's gonna be a privilege and an honor to serve you in any way I can."
"It's an honor and privilege for us, too, to have someone aboard as eager and loyal as you are. Now, back to business, I see no reason why we can't start staking out the scumbag straightaway."
Eddie enthuses, "what the heck are we waitin' for?"
And we were off. We googled the given cell-phone number and traced it to an address and held a stake out a small distance from his residence. We see him leaving his house and walking toward his car. I hand Chet a pair of binoculars and ask him to read off the license plate number, which he does as Eddie writes it down. Then we take off, still keeping a distance. We see him soon pulling into a bar. This was Chet's cue.
"This is it, kid. Ready?"
"Never readier."
"That's my boy. See whatcha can get - we'll tape the whole thing out here."
We hear the following:
CHET - "Miller light, please"
Some bar noises and some music in the background - a jukebox, maybe. We hear some shifting around, Chet's mike picking what sounds like changing bar-stools. It was. He made our man.
"hey."
"Hey, yourself, whaddya want?"
"Are you Verona?"
"How the hell do you know that?"
"I got my ways. Besides, I hear your guys got all locked up - lookin' like ya need some help out there in the field."
"Maybe. You ever did this before?"
"Mostly sold to my friends in high school."
"Yeah, who was your connection?"
"Not important - fact is, you gotta stay in business, and I wanna hit the streets again. I'd be good for ya."
"Strange thing, kid, ya look more like an honor student."
[HOLY IRONY]
"Just my cover - good honest face gets me anything I want."
"You're funny - I like that."
"Hey, what's life if ya ain't got a sense of humor. So, how do ya wanna do this - where do I get my wares, so to speak?"
"I'll get 'em to ya - pays 20% of the take. Sound good?"
"Heck, yeah. Ya live around here?"
"I prefer to not disclose that - let's meet somewhere more discreet. Ever hear of the Schachter Motel?"
"Oh, yeah, that dump on 47th Street, looks like a housin' project."
"It might as well be - got more niggers in that place than on B.E.T. Get a room out there - I'll reimburse ya - meetcha tomorrow, about 8 am."
"The morning?"
"Yeah, little shitpots in school at that time - ya gotta be ready for the afternoon rush."
"Oh, yeah."
"Tomorrow - Shachter motel - 8am - what name ya usin'?"
"Chuck Smith, I guess."
"No, make it Bates."
Chet laughs, "Bates?"
Me-n-Eddie laugh at it, too. This guy is pretty stupid. No wonder he can't hold down a job.
"Hey, like ya say - what's life without a sense of humor. Better finish your drink and get lost. Don't wanna get anything suspicious."
"Right - see ya."
"Yeah."
Chet gets back in the car and we take off.
"So, how'd it feel, kid?"
"Wow, it felt great. I hope I fooled him."
"No worries there, I just hope we get adjacent rooms?"
"For what?"
"Video surveillance for one thing. The minute Dr. Feelgood walks through that door with your stash, we wanna nail him and get everything on video. No jury's gonna get all PC and let 'im go if they see everything."
"Right."
"Let's get home first, set up everything we'll need, then off to the Schachter. May as well be ready to give this slug a good morning punch he'll never forget."
Wouldn't ya know it - tons of rooms available. Chet was right, too, this place was a dump, and looked like a housin' project. Chet signed in under the "Bates" name, raisin' an eyebrow from the desk clerk. Me-n-Eddie sign in under the usual Smith and Jones thing.
MOMENTS AFTER OUR HEROES LEAVE THE OFFICE AND HEAD FOR THEIR ROOMS, THE DESK CLERK PICKS UP THE PHONE.
"Hey, Juan, it's me. Yeah...yeah, the kid just got here - two other characters looked like they were with him - they got a room next to his, named Smith and Jones. Let's see - the older guy got a hat, suit, the whole thing, the younger guy, maybe his kid, lookin' like he was born in a gym. Not too shabby, that body...what's that.....you're kidding! That's them? Shit, I never knew what they looked like! So, you gonna keep your distance - lay low or something?"
THE VOICE ON THE OTHER END SAYS,
"Not on your life - I'm gonna be ready for those assholes, you just wait. They're gonna get more holes in them than in a nigger's window. Thanks for the tip. You'll be off duty by the time I get there, but I'll take care of ya - see ya."
HOLY HORRORS - MIKE, EDDIE, AND CHET VICTIMS OF THEIR OWN TRAP? WILL THEY AT LEAST WEAR THEIR BULLET PROOF TEE-SHIRTS? EDDIE LOOKS PRETTY HOT IN HIS - BUT WILL THEY DO ANY GOOD? WILL THEIR TRAGIC FATE BE BROADCAST ON WORLD'S WILDEST POLICE VIDEOS NARRATED BY THAT ANNOYING HOST WITH THE WHINY VOICE? KEEP THIS WEBSITE UP AND GET READY FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER - OR, MORE APPROPRIATELY - STAY TUNED!