CHAPTER SEVENTY-EIGHT - Malicious Minionettes and Blood Brothers
WHEN WE LEFT OUR HEROES, THEY WERE PARALYZED BY POISON DARTS, ROPED AND TIED, AND HAULED OFF INTO A TORTURE CHAMBER TO FACE THEIR GRISLY END, BUT WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THAT WAS - UNTIL NOW
MIKE - Jesus Murphy - imagine that, me-n-Eddie, two real powerful law-enforcin', bad-guy-bustin' hero types, bein' hauled off into some broom closet by two dykes from Europe. We're spread out on what looks like a conveyor belt of sorts - I'm stretched out in a way that I'm facin' away from Eddie, but I smell his hair - I took a little comfort in that - at least if we're on the way out, no matter how painful, he's goin' with me. But it looks like he's goin' first.
EDDIE - After we're laid out on some conveyor belt, our nemesis walks in
"Hello, boys, I thought you'd like to know the dire, painful fate in store for you."
"Sure", Mike grumbles, "when I'm dead and St. Peter asks me how I got up there, I'd like to know what to tell 'im."
"Well I'll be more than happy to fill you in. Your young protege is going to be the first to suffer this fate - perhaps his screams for mercy can be of some indication."
"Not very likely", I say "I wouldn't give a dirt-bag like you the satisfaction."
"Don't speak too soon, Detective, boys such as you are known to eat their words at some point - that is, if you're not all eaten up first."
"Would ya just cut to the chase?"
"You're strapped to a conveyor belt which will send you right into the jaws of a giant paper shredder. The youngster's going to feel everything first - his feet, his legs, his package all slowly sliced and diced. It's going to be a long, hard agonizing demise for the two of you, especially you, Detective Batz, for you're not only going to get it, too, but you'll see your little Boy Friday's blood and guts just go flying all over this room, and there'll be nothing you can do about it."
MIKE - Knowing now that Eddie's gonna get it first, and tryin' to think of a way outta this, I tell him, "Just hang on, Kiddo - one way or another, this'll be over soon"
The dirt-bag yells at one of the minionettes to flip the switch and we're on our way. They take off, too, sayin' "I'd love to stay and chat, but we have several hostile takeovers to plan, and with you two out of the way, it'll be a breeze. You guys have a great day, okay? Okay, tha-a-a-a-a-a-nks."
The switch is flipped and we inch closer and closer to those blades. Suddenly, I feel movement coming back - the drug was wearing off and I say to Eddie, "hey, kiddo, can ya move at all?"
Turns out he was gaining his movement back, too.
"Yeah, Boss-Man, I'm trying to loosen these bonds somehow."
EDDIE - The two of us gave sruggle to these ropes, and as I pushed and pulled, I was kinda lifted off the conveyor for a second, or at least felt like I had been. I noticed something. Sure, our hands and feet were bound, but I don't think we were strapped to this gizmo all the way.
"Hey, Mike, I don't think we're tied all the way to this thing. Maybe we can just roll off - it's not that much of a fall."
"Ya know, I noticed the same thing. Let's roll."
We threw ourselves off and landed on the floor, now able to move, we untied each other, and noticed the extra ropes intended to hold us down on the belt must've come loose. We undid each other's bonds, rubbed our wrists for rope burns and all.
"Gosh, Mike, it sure was a good thing those other ropes came loose."
"If they were ever secured in the first place."
"I don't getcha"
"Let's look underneath. Ah, interesting. I get the feeling they only tried to make it seem as if we were being strapped down. We felt them pull tighter on them, but it seemed to come loose too easily. Look, there's no indentation on these rope ends - that suggests they were purposely not tied together strongly enough to hold us."
"Gosh, Boss, ya think they wanted us to break out?"
"I don't know if they were thinking of us, but maybe they wanted to get caught, that they wanted us to live so we'd go after them, at least the two dames."
"Wow, as if by being apprehended, they'd get away from this guy."
"Exactly."
"But, gosh...something doesn't make sense. When I was shot and kicked, my assailant said she loved torturing big, bad cops, like she's not able to do back home, or something to that effect. Why would they take pleasure in hurting and trying to kill us, and then do something to spare our lives?"
"Ya know, it's tempting to just write this off as a piece of good luck for us, but it doesn't seem that simple. I'm even more puzzled by this than anything else in this case."
"Maybe it's a trick - they could be planning something much more sinister for us."
"I know where you're coming from, but something still tells me this was a cry for help. I know what Miranda did to you, but I was staring right into Natasha's eyes as she shot me and tied me up. She did do all that, but there was something in the way she was looking at me - I always stare right at my opponents when they torment and try to murder me - and in her, I caught a little sadness in her eyes."
"You wanna hear something funny? It would've made a lot more sense if I was all chopped up - after being drugged and kicked and all, but for them to make it easy for us to break out. I'm grateful I wasn't turned into confetti, but now I'm totally baffled."
"That's the problem with these dizzy dames - they never know what the hell they want, but it's always too much - but we gotta get movin' - I wanna find out about this hostile take-over this dirt-bag alluded to before he left us to die."
"Gotcha!"
We leave the torture chamber and make our way slowly and deliberately throughout this cat's hideout. They might've anticipated our escape and had a plan B in store for us - bullets, arrows, gas - you name it - I wouldn't put anything past these people.
EDDIE - We check the whole place and found nothing - their car was gone - they must've gone on to this so-called hostile takeover, whatever it was at the time. Mike was frustrated.
"Well, there's nothing for us here - might as well go back to HQ and mull this over"
At the same time, I was still looking around, there must be some kind of lead, which is typical for the average villain. There's always a slip-up somewhere - either because the bad guys are never as smart as we are, or they wanna get caught. I thank God every day I'm one of the good guys - life's a heck of a lot simpler when you're good. I saw some bits of paper on the guy's desk - I thought I'd take a look at them for the heck of it. What I read didn't make much sense to me. One of his notes read "pig farm - slaughterhouse".
"Hey, Boss-Man, can ya make anything outta this?"
"Let's see here - pig farm slaughterhouse - nope, can't say that I can"
Then it dawns on me - "I got it! We bugged the place when we first came in, right? Maybe he talked about it after he left us!"
"And it could all be on tape!"
He grabs my arms and gives me a jubilant kiss, "GOOD THINKING, Boy! Let's go off and NAIL this bastard!"
We listen to the tapes - first, of course, we heard our initial confrontation followed by our shooting, and then we struck pay dirt!
"Now that those two rug rats in there are out of the way, let's wipe out some more law enforcement meddlers - this is a pretty small town, not much of a police force - if we wipe all of them out, and we will, there'll be nothing to stop us from taking over this dingy little burg."
I gasp in horror and me-n-Mike speed off to the police department, but let the tapes roll. The voice of one of the minionettes appears.
"Why kill them off right away? We could storm the pig farm, hold them hostage and demand a ransom - then slaughter them all anyway even after our demands are met."
"Why, Miranda, you deserve a big fat promotion for this!"
I start shaking, this left me so cold. "Holy horrors, Boss-Man - we've just GOT to smash this scheme."
"Oh, we will, Eddie, we will. Remember we always get our man - no matter what!"
MIKE - We raced to the station but we thought we were too late when we arrived - the desk sergeant wasn't at his desk - we looked around and discovered the guy was bound and gagged, but thankfully otherwise unharmed.
We undo his bonds and check on his well-being.
"Oh, thank goodness you two showed up."
"Did ya see where they went?"
"I'm not sure - they struck me in the back of the head, tied me up and shoved me behind - where you found me."
"Are you all right?"
"Yes, I'm fine, but please go get 'em before they attack anyone else."
"That's why we were put on this Earth, sir. To the main lobby, Eddie!"
We peruse the station, to see what other sort of damage was done in his wake. Suddenly we spot them, about 10 to 20 feet ahead - "oh, holy mother of Christ, don't let me be too late - let me get these mugs", I prayed.
We follow 'em to the squad room and the scumbag was brandishing what looked like a smoke-bomb.
"Good afternoon, mindless minions and maurauders. I am holding a lethal smoke-bomb in my hands and you're all my captives. If our demands are not met, my girls will take a letter."
"Holy crap - not the crossbows again!"
That was when we leapt into action. I punch this maggott right in the back of the head and me-n-Eddie jump all over him like white on rice. Strange thing happened, though - Natasha, I think it was, the nice one, suddenly gave her weapon over and ran to the first cop she spotted and gave herself up, almost begging for her life.
"Good girl", I whispered, as we were trashing her little former ringleader.
EDDIE - Me-n-Mike subdued and cuffed the suspect and I was about to go into my next plan of action, seeing to the well-being of the once-future, now former hostages, when I heard a cop yell, "Detective! Watch Out!"
I spinned around, "huh?", then spotted Miranda about to fire on me again.
"Oh my gosh, no!"
She fired all right - but I was spared another wounding by the brave cop who pushed me out of the way, threw himself into the line of fire and was hit with the arrow instead. He went down screaming. Miranda gloated, "Ha! I didn't get the one I wanted, but you'll do just fine.." and looked out at all the terrified faces and snarled, "as will all of you", then......
BAM - like a quarterback, I tackled her from the side, knocking her to the ground.
"Ha! Big strong bully cop likes to beat up a lady, yes?", she grinned.
"I got news for ya, toots - biology aside, you are no lady", I snarled as I was pounding her weapon on the floor, trying to loosen her grip. I knock it out - it goes flying several feet - she starts to try breaking loose to go get it, but I slap on the cuffs - I was way too fast for her. I went and got the weapon myself, as it should be. I put on my gloves, pick up the weapon and turn it over to the cops, "Exhibit A, guys!"
Imagine that, this all unfolded in the most perfect place possible - it's as if some fetishist were writing all of this in a blog, or something - but, anyway, I run over to the wounded officer, who was shaking and moaning.
"You gotta get this outta me - it's killing me - I can't move a muscle."
"You gotta relax, pal. It's just a temporary drug - it'll wear off before you can say Eddie Robinson."
"How do you know?"
"The two of us were hit with these just a couple of hours ago - it wore off in about 10 minutes."
"No foolin'?"
"Yeah", I said as I gently extracted the arrow from his left arm, "here - gimme your belt - I need to do a torniquet! There now, just relax and just let the effect wear off naturally - it's all you can do, pal."
I tried to make the cop as comfortable as I could, then ran off to see what else needed tending to.
MIKE - I picked up this dirt-bag and Eddie grabbed his remaining minionette and we called the D.A. in to see about Natasha. When he arrived, I said she turned herself in and volunteered to open her yap about her fellow bad-guys and turn state's evidence.
"You guys are gonna go easy on this one, right?"
"It's hard to say - I'll certainly recommend the most lenient sentence, based on the facts. Understand, the charges against her for aiding and abetting assault with deadly weapons and kidnapping does disqualify her from immunity, but the court will take her full cooperation into consideration. Every case varies, so we'll just have to run it up the flagpole."
"Mm-hmm, gotcha! Thanks, mac."
Then the wounded cop comes up to us, holdin' his arm.
"Hey, Detective Robinson - you were right - I just got the use of my legs back."
"Aw, thank God - are ya still in any pain?"
"Nah, just my arm stingin' a little, but it'll be okay. Hey, thanks - you saved my life."
"Are you kiddin' - you saved mine first - I thank you!"
"I was just doin' my job."
"Nah, don't gimme that. A ditch-digger is just doin' his job - what you did was act when you saw a fellow law enforcement officer was in peril and you put your life on the line to save his. You're a gosh-darned hero."
The cop smiled at that and thanked me, then said, "You're such a great guy - just as cool as I heard you were. I'd offer my hand to shake, but I'm afraid it's got blood on it."
I thought fast on my feet, saw a thumbtack and pricked the palm of my hand.
"Put it right there, pal - blood brothers."
EPILOGUE - The trial didn't take very long - the jury didn't even have to deliberate for very long - 25 years for Chris Spencer as well as for his other identity - that of former police candidate Brian Cook. Eddie was very nonplussed to discover this - how could a cop go bad? Poor boy just never seemed to grasp the idea, and still can't, bless his heart. For that is a very rare occurrence, and we all should be shocked and appalled at such a development. The worst thing anyone can do is become complacent, to "get used to it" as people like to scream at others.
Miranda also got 25 years, but Natasha was the one who made out the easiest - a 5-year suspended sentence as well as probation, for turning state's evidence. She has to report to a probation officer every week. I've kept track of her progress and she's doing very well. She's young yet, so these 5 years won't take much out of her life, providing she turns it around and does something good with it. Spencer / Cook was about to be transferred to a maximum security state pen, but before he was, he wanted to talk to me-n-Eddie. I didn't think it was such a hot idea at first, but Eddie thought if we spoke to him privately, we could get down to what was really behind his crimes. I then relented and agreed. A guard accompanied us, although the two of us were strong enough to subdue him if he were to pull any actions untoward.
"Good afternoon, Detectives, I'm glad you could come and see me."
"What's this all about?"
"I just wanted to apologize - I never did get a chance to in court. My attorney advised me to just stay silent, to not even testify on my own behalf. I guess I just wanted you both to know where I was coming from."
Eddie asked, "which was where...?"
"As you heard, I once had aspirations of joining the police force in my hometown. My father owned a business and I was his only son, so he wanted me, of course, to carry on the tradition. I was in my first few weeks as a rookie, and I loved every minute of it. Even if nothing happened on patrol, at least there'd be the comraderie. I really hated having to leave the force, to join the business, but I had to."
"Was your dad sick or something?"
"No, I think I was. He was so against my being a police officer that he threatened to cut me out of his will if I went against him. So, I dropped out and went to work for him. Within a year's time, the business went belly-up and my father embezzled pension funds from all the employees. They were left with nothing - not even receiving a severance package because there was no money left. Dad cut me out, anyway, regardless of what I did, so I was left with absolutely nothing. All I wanted to do was to please my dad - make him proud of me, but no matter what I did, he never would be."
EDDIE - I took all that in, breathed a heavy sigh. His story was a real revelation, but I still wanted to know, "why do you hate law enforcement officers so much? Shooting that security guard, attempting to seize and hold the Police Department hostage, shooting me-n-my partner?"
"It's that old story when you can't have something you want, you deny you ever wanted it when you have to settle for second best. I guess I just went to far to the extreme."
"Aw, that's such bull-crap - that is no excuse to inflict harm on others who've done nothing to you. you could've re-joined the force at any time after you lost your job - you had nothing to lose - you would've been welcomed back with open arms. You're nothing but a greedy, self-important, black-hearted man who only wanted to see other people suffer for your own sick self-interest. You on the police department - don't make me laugh..."
MIKE - Eddie was pretty pissed-off at this guy. I saw him just about to lunge over at him.
"...why, I oughta tear you apart..."
And he did - our suspect jumped back when he saw Eddie pound the table and jump over at him. I grabbed Eddie just in time, I even held him back as he struggled to get out of my grip, but I had to hold on tight, for all of our sakes, especially Eddie's.
"YOU let me go - I wanna have it OUT with this animal!"
"Eddie, Eddie, please settle down - we caught him, he's being punished, he's serving his time, he realize what he did was wrong. Now, please, Eddie - I don't want you to do something you'll regret later."
I turned to our now-convicted nemesis, "As for you, my partner is correct, that really was no excuse for the crimes you committed."
Shaken and somewhat teary-eyed, he said, "but it is true - and I am sorry."
Eddie still wasn't buying it - "You're only sorry 'cuz you got caught. I'm outta here, Mike, I'll meet you outside."
He left and all I really had to say to this guy was, "well - apology accepted, but not necessary. You did endanger the lives of four law enforcement officers, but law and order caught up with you and now you're goin' up the river. So, we're even. Oh, and, when you do get tossed in the clink, I'd keep your ex-cop tale under your hat. Nothin' makes a better prison bitch than a cop-gone-bad."
I saluted him and said, "see ya round."
Then I had Eddie to deal with. I didn't know what I was gonna do - I very rarely see him this angry and damn-near murderous. I found him outside, leaning up against the car, one arm folded, his face buried in his other hand. I put my hands on his shoulders.
"Hey, kiddo. You're gonna be okay."
He put his hand down and revealed wet, bloodshot eyes. Poor kid was cryin'.
"Gosh, Mike, I don't know what came over me in there."
"Oh, I do. The guy tried to kill your brothers in there, and nothin' gets to you more than when a member of your own family is harmed in any way."
Wiping his tears up, "it's more than that, I think. Maybe I saw someone who had a real choice to stay on the force and I wasn't, and..."
"Eddie - is that a jealous heart I hear inside you?"
"He could've gone back and he didn't, and...."
He put his head on my shoulder and I patted the back of his head, "I gotcha. It brought back all that crap from the Academy. I know. "
"I don't get it - why am I not over it yet?"
"I'm afraid when we suffer a loss, we never quite get over it. It stays with us whether we realize it or not. None of us wants it to, but it does re-surface here and there."
"But I love my life exactly the way it is now, I've got everything I've ever wanted in life."
"Even so, the pain of rejection will always live inside us. The question is what're ya gonna do about it. You've done great with it so far. You got a second chance and you decided you were gonna be the best crimefighter you knew how, and you are. You're amazing. Eddie, look at me."
"I've worked with some people back then that weren't up to much and those memories still get to me, but then, I see a guy like you. You're warm, loving, giving, loyal, ya got a good head on your shoulders, you'll suffer any blows to avenge a crime. You take that inner pain and you make good with it. I'm so proud of you. I love you."
I tenderly wipe the last remaining tears on his face. "Your face is too beautiful to be stained with red eyes and tears, huh? I love your smile. Come on, let's see them pearly whites."
He laughs and that gorgeous smile comes out, he seems happier.
"There, now, that's the boy I fell in love with."
We embrace and kiss - we got a beautiful day ahead of us - just the two of us.