Discovering Love Chapter 9
Chapter 9
Crumbling the note into his pocket, Brian got into his car. His heart raced as his blood started boiling thinking about who could have sent the note. “Typical. Something good happens to me and it can’t last. But who wrote the note. Steve? Zach?” Brian thought. Putting the keys in the ignition, Brian started the car and headed home. “Should I tell Chris? What if he gets mad and does something stupid?”
Meanwhile over on the soccer field, Chris just caught up to his coach.
“Well inst that something? Chris Dornson back on the field?” said Chris’s coach.
“Sorry Sir.” Chris answered.
“Just run a few laps after. Make sure you talk to the rest of the guys and make sure you haven’t lost your touch.”
“Ok. Thanks Coach.”
“And Chris. Is everything ok? I don’t know the reason you left, but I want to make sure that all is ok and you won’t pull this crap again.”
“Yeah Coach. All is good now.”
Chris ran to the locker room, quickly changed and then ran to the field to start practice. It was a tough practice, as coach really was riding Chris for missing so much practice. After practice, Chris stayed behind and ran a few laps as everyone rushed to the showers.
Exhausted Chris entered the locker room, to see most of his teammates had already showered and left. Chris quickly peeled off his sweat soaked shirt that stuck to his aching body. Sliding down his shorts and jock, Chris walked over to the empty showers and turned on the water. He let out a moan as the warm water cascaded over his aching body; massaging his sore muscles. Quickly he looked towards the lockers, and saw it was completely empty. Closing his eyes, he slid his hands over his burning abs. Images of what had happened earlier flashed in his mind; Brian’s naked body slowly entering the lagoon. Quickly Chris’s cock hardened, as he slid his hand down and wrapped his hand around it. Pumping his hand up and down over the shaft, Chris let out a moan. Soon the all too familiar feeling that he had reached the point of no return was upon him. His balls tightened, as he felt his travel through his shaft and explode out the head. Chris shot with suck force, that his legs buckled and he almost fell over.
As soon as Chris recovered, he heard someone opening the door of the locker room. “Thankfully I finished.” He thought, as he turned off the shower and wrapping a towel around his body stepped out and walked to his locker.
“Sup Chris.” Came a voice from behind him.
Chris turned to see Todd standing there, looking at him. “Not much, you?” Chris responded while sliding his boxer on under his towel.
“Nothing. He I didn’t see you in class today.”
“Yeah. Brian and I ditched.”
“Brian?”
“Yeah. Brian. What about it?”
“He…well since when are you hanging out with him again?”
“Since…why the hell do you even care?”
“Dude. He’s a fucking faggot.” Spat Todd.
As soon as Chris heard the word “faggot” the blood in his veins started to boil and he felt himself slowly being inflamed with rage.
“He was some slut at the party. Both Zach and that guy that was outed last week, Steve or whatever, had a go at him. How fucking sick is that?”
“Dude. Fuck you. Where you hear that?” Chris asked, trying hard to keep his ever growing anger under control.
“Some people at the party told me. Dude you better stay away from that faggot.”
With that Chris could not control his anger any longer and pushed Todd against the locker. “Fucking stop ok. He is a great guy and he is my friend. So fucking deal with it.” He spat.
“Dude man. What the fuck is your problem. I am only trying to warn you. I would never want a fag as a friend. Imagine what people would think? So I’m just giving you a heads up.”
“Fuck what people think. You think I care? I spent two years in this fucking school caring about what people think of me. And you know what, I am sick of it. Fuck it. Brian is my friend ok. So fucking deal.”
“Fine whatever.” Todd said. “Well I better get going.”
Chris watched Todd as he walked down the rows of lockers and rounded a corner to the exit of the locker room. Taking a few breaths, Chris tried to control the anger and disgust he was feeling. “How could he be so fucking narrow-minded? Did he mean what he said? Would he really stop being friends with him if he told him he was gay? Does he know?” Chris thought as he was slowly putting his clothes on. With all these thoughts floating around in his head, it did little to calm him. Slamming his locker, he walked towards the parking lot.
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Brian lay in bed reading the note he received over and over again. “Who could have sent it? It had to be Steve or Zach. No one else knew about him. Wait…Alexia knew. But she could never write a note like that, could she? What about Chris? Should I tell him? What if he decides to do something? Maybe it is best that I stay away from him for some time. Fuck this is all so messed up.” Brian closed eyes, tried to push all the thoughts out of his mind and focus on sleep.
On the other side of town, Chris lay in bed in his boxers thinking about the days events. “What did Todd know? Why was he being an ass? I want to be open and stop lying but if Todd acts that way, what will the rest of his friends think. Alexia is ok with it. But what about Allie? Or Charlie? They are my friend, I can’t loose them. But I can’t loose Brain either.” Turning onto his side, Chris thought back of the events that happened in the past few months. The hell that he went through lying to himself about who he was and almost loosing Brian in the process was one that was forever etched into his mind. He never wished the pain and torment that he went through on anyone. When he finally told Brian him how felt it was as if a weight was lifted off him. For once in his life he felt like he was able to accept himself and come to terms with a part of him he tried for so long to get rid of. Whenever he could think of himself as gay, he felt his throat close up and he a dizzy spell came over him, but now, finally, it was all gone. He was proud of who he was. But now all this with Todd, Chris could feel that same insecurity slowly creep through his mind, like a parasite. What was he to do? Could he avoid Brian to make it look like nothing was up? No he couldn’t do that. One thing he knew, more than anything now was that he loved Brian. With all his heart and all his soul he loved Brian. Sighing, Chris turned onto his stomach and closed his eyes and tried to get some sleep.
As soon as the alarm clock buzzed, Chris was hit with all the thoughts that preoccupied his mind the night before. He longed to go back to sleep; back to the realm of dreams. A realm where everything was perfect. Where Brian and he were able to be who they were and no one cared about it.
Looking over at his alarm clock which read “5:20 AM”, Chris realized he only had half an hour to get dressed and grab a quick protein shake before morning practice. He quickly threw the cover off his almost naked body and walked over to the dresser. After packing his gym bag, he walked down the cold stairs and into the dark empty kitchen. Rummaging through the refrigerator, he searched for the ingredients to his shake, which he quickly made and was out the door.
Chris pulled up to the nearly empty parking lot with only a few minutes to spare. Looking around, he saw that only a few of the teachers and his teammates’ cars were already parked. As soon as the car stopped, Chris grabbed his gym bag and rushed in the direction of the field. Running to the locker room, Chris noticed the light dew on the grass, making each blade of grass glisten in the sun that was slowly starting its ascent into the morning sky. Chris watched as the sun rose, turning the dark blue sky into a fiery red and yellow.
Opening the door to the locker room, Chris was hit by the pungent odor of stale sweat, dirt, and the general musk of testosterone like a brick wall. Being back only two practices, his nostrils still had not become accustomed to the smell. Walking over to his locker, Chris was greeted by a few of his teammates telling him they were glad he was back. Todd stood in the corner next to Chris’s locker.
“Hey Man.” Todd said when Chris finally made his way to the end of the row of lockers.
“Sup?” Chris acknowledged, opening his locker and stuffing his bag inside.
“Nothing. You?” Todd said, acting as nothing happened between them the day before.
“Same.”
“Good to have ya back man.”
“Yeah. It’s good to be back. But I don’t miss waking up early.”
“Haha. I bet.”
The two of them finished changing, and like the rest of the team, they ran out to the field to start practice. Practice went well and Chris was glad to be back. He missed the feeling of the cool air in his lungs as he ran. The way he felt on the field. Soccer had always been an escape for him. When he was on the field nothing else mattered; everything seemed to melt away for the time being.
After practice was over, Chris quickly showered and made his way over to the library, hoping that Brian was there. Opening the door, Chris quietly made his way into the silent library. A sparse number of people were busily hunched over their books intently reading their books or notes. Scanning the room, Chris could not find Brian anywhere. Chris walked over to the far corner of the library, where rows of books created their own walkways. Looking into row after row of books, Chris felt his spirits fall a little. Dejected, he made his way back towards the main entrance of the library when someone caught his eye on the far corner of the room. Sitting by herself, was the girl that Chris had seen with Brian many times before. “I wonder if she knows where Brian is. What was her name though?” He thought as he walked slowly towards her.
“Excuse me.” He said, letting out a weak smile.
“Hi there!” She said, looking intently up at Chris.
“You hang out with Brian…Brian Stern right?”
“Yeah I do. I haven’t seen him today though.”
“Oh.” Chris said, sounding slightly disappointed.
“But if I see him I will tell him you are looking for him.” She said smiling.
“Thanks.” He said returning the smile.
As Chris was walking out of the library, the bell rang. Chris walked towards his first class, feeling a little sad that he did not get to see Brian. “Thankfully I have journalism before lunch.” He thought walking into his first class.
Chris sat anxiously at his desk, looking at the clock every few minutes. Even though only five minutes had passed; it felt like Chris was sitting as his desk for eternity. Trying to focus, he stared at the whiteboard as the teacher droned on about sines, cosines and tangents. The words the teacher spoke ran through his mind, but they did not register. Instead Todd’s cruel words rang through his head. He’s a fucking faggot. “How could Todd be such an ass? Would he really disown me if Todd knew the truth about me?
“Mr. Dornson?” came a shrill voice from the front of the room, quickly ripping Chris out of thought.
“Huh? Sorry Ms. Samsonite. What did you ask?”
“What is the Pythagorean Trigonometric Identity?” Ms. Samsonite asked.
“Umm…” Chris said looking down at his notes. “Sine squared theta plus--”
Just as Chris was struggling the bell rang; saving him from the hell of Math. Ms. Samsonite shook her head as the class quickly filed out of the room. Gathering his things, Chris felt a sudden wave of excitement and anxiety rush through him: it was finally time to see Brian.
As Chris walked into the journalism room, he noticed Brian already sitting at his desk. When Brian saw Chris, his eyes lit up, but than a second later a surge of fear took hold of his body. All Brian could do was think of the note.
“Hey what’s up?” Chris asked.
“Nothing you?”
“Same. Hey so you’re gonna join us at the table for lunch right?”
“No…I…I have…homework. Yeah homework I need to finish. I’m going to the library. Sorry.”
“Oh. Ok?” Chris said, not really buying Brian’s excuse.
“Sorry. I--”
“Please take your seats everyone. ” Miss Rose said, calling the class to order.
As soon as class ended, Brian rushed out of his seat and out the door. Watching him take off, Chris felt slightly hurt that he left without saying bye to him first. “Something is up.” He thought to himself as he gathered his things.
After getting his food, Chris made his way over to his usual table. Todd, Will, Charlie, Alice, Alexia, and the rest were already there eating and talking.
“Hey man.” Will said when he saw Chris approach.
“Hey.” Chris answered.
They all continued with their conversations as Chris sat his tray down next to Allie. Looking to his left, Todd and Will were busy talking about football and soccer. Everyone around him seemed to be in a middle of a conversation; everyone but Allie.
“Hey Chris.” She said looking over at him.
“Hi. What’s up?”
“Nothing. You? Where is Brian?” she asked him.
“He’s in the library. Why?”
“Just wondering.” She said smiling. It took a second for Chris to realize that Allie already knew. Seeing the sudden look of fear in his eyes, she touched his knee, smiled and softly whispered she thought it was cute that they were together. Feeling a little bit better, he smiled back at her.
After finishing his meal, Chris thought he would surprise Brian at the library. Picking up his empty plate, Chris said goodbye to everyone and made his way to the library; stopping at a trash can along the way to get rid of his plate.
The long corridor to the library seemed almost eerie at this time. Usually the halls were filled with people talking while rummaging through their lockers. But now as every one was out at the quad enjoying their lunch, it stood empty and quiet. It was as if Chris had stepped into a ghost town. Every step he took echoed on the marble floor. Finally Chris reached the glass doors of the library. Stepping in Chris looked around, just like he did at the beginning of the day. And just as before Brian was no where to be found. “He said he was here, didn’t he? Did he lie to me? No he probably just got caught up doing something. Or did I just miss him?”
Not wanting to return to the quad, he walked over to the far corner of the library and sat down in one of the comfortable green sofa chairs. Taking out his sleek black iPod, he put the earbuds in his ears and hit play on the wheel dial.
_I thought I was doing all right being alone
I swore I’d never let somebody get close again
I was never gonna let my guard down
Not for anyone
But there’s a light in your eyes and it’s got me moving’ in
And tonight these walls are all coming down
And my heart is open
I’m letting you in
Cause you give me a reason and the faith I’ve been needing to start again
And your love is healing
I’m finally breathing
I’ve been waiting so long hoping for this moment
My heart is open_
Chris smiled while silently singing along. This song really reminded him of Brian. Ever since he discovered Brian like country he had been listening to it more and more. On the way home the other day, this song came on and it made him think of Brian. As soon as he got home he downloaded it and looked up the lyrics. “Wow. I’m becoming a hopeless romantic.” Chris thought to himself.
Just as the song ended, the bell rang sending Chris to his last two classes before soccer practice. Wrapping the headphone cord around his iPod, he stuffed it in his pocket and made his way to class. Nothing exciting happened the last two classes.
Chris had just gotten his things out of his locker when he noticed Brian out of the corner of his eye. Calling out to Brian, Chris walked toward him, smiling. Brian quickly returned the smile, but something on his face showed that the smile was not as genuine as he tried to make it.
“Hey. What’s up?” Chris said when he got to Brian.
“Umm. Nothing.” Brian said quickly, trying to look around without being conspicuous.
“Dude. You ok?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“You just seem distant. Hey where were ya at lunch?”
“I was at the library. Why?”
“All of lunch?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Oh just wondering. It’s nothing?”
“Ok. Well I gotta go. Don’t you have soccer?”
“Yeah.” Chris answered, shocked that Brian was trying to leave so soon.
“Well. Have fun. Talk to you later.”
“Hey. Come over after practice.”
“I…umm…I have…I can’t.”
“Please.”
“Umm. Ok call me.” Brian said, giving Chris a high five and then walking to the parking lot.
“What the fuck? He lied to me. Why would he lie to me? He did not even want to be seen with me. Maybe he thinks this is all a mistake.” Chris thought to himself as he walked over to the soccer field.
Once dressed and on the field, Chris put those bad thought to the back of his head and focused just on soccer. He really wanted to get back to where he was before; he needed to do it for his team. Trying harder than ever, Chris played his heart out. At the end of practice the coach took Chris aside and told him that he was impressed by his comeback and hopes he keeps it up.
Walking to his car, Chris pulled out his cellphone and hit “one” on speed dial.
“Hello?” came the voice on the other line.
“Hey baby. I just ended practice. Still coming over.”
“Sure.” Brian said.
“Ok. Cool see you soon. My parents aren’t home. Just come up the door will be unlocked.”
“Ok. See ya in fifteen.”
“Bye sexy.”
Hanging up, Chris opened the door and got into his car. Within ten minutes he pulled up into his driveway. Chris quickly got out and looked at his watch. “Hmm. He should be here in five. I think I can take a quick shower. Besides, we could have a little fun.” Chris quickly rushed upstairs, stripped his clothes and stepped into the shower.
While Chris was showering, Brian pulled up and parked his car and walked up the stairs to the heavy wooden doors, pushing them aside and entering the house. He could hear the water running upstairs and he could not help but think of his boyfriend naked in that shower. Water running down his perfectly formed body. Falling off his head, down his chiseled chest and over the ridges of his hard abs. With every step, Brian was getting hornier and hornier; his cock growing harder and harder.
Brian finally made it to Chris’s room and silently entered; taking a seat on the bed. Not a moment after, Chris entered the room, completely naked except a small moist white towel around his waist. Brian looked over at Chris’s wet body, glistening in the light. He watched as a droplet of water slid down his shoulder, over his slightly bulging pec, down his abs and disappearing as the towel soaked it up. Brian licked his lips, as his cock strained to get out of his pants. Looking at Chris’s crotch, Brian noticed that the outline of Chris’s cock was becoming more evident as his cock slowly started to swell.
Knowing that Brian was enjoying the show, Chris took a few steps closer and dropped his towel; freeing his rock hard cock from the captivity of the thin fabric of the towel. “Enjoying what you see?” Chris asked Brian.
“Very much so.” Brian said, scanning up Chris’s body to his honey colored eyes, staring back at him with love.
“Good.” Chris said in a seductive tone as he closed the few feet between them, pushing Brian back on the bed and straddled him. Leaning down he put his lips on Brian’s warm moist lips. Brian let out a moan as Chris’s tongue slowly his mouth, gently brushing over his tongue. Bringing his hands up, Brian slid them up and down Chris’s wet back. Slowly he slid one hand down the side of Chris’s body and over to the front, gently tracing the length of Chris’s cock with his fingertips. Chris let out a moan as he felt Brian’s warm fingertips brush against his hard cock.
Chris broke the kiss and while leaning back he reached down and tugged on the bottom of Brian’s shirt. Brian quickly reached down and took his shirt off, tossing it aside. Chris got up and tugged on Brian’s belt, unbuckling it and after unbuttoning it, slid them off over Brian’s muscular legs. Sliding his hands back up Brian’s legs, he slowly moved inward towards Brian’s clothed cock. He ran his hand over it lightly massaging it as a dark wet stain grew in his boxers. Without warning, Chris hooked his fingers around the waistband of Brian’s boxers and with one solid movement he pulled them off. After tossing them aside, he pushed Brian down again, startling him once more.
The two continued to make out as they rubbed their hard cocks against each other, coating them and their abs with precum. After what felt like hours of making out and groping each other, Chris broke the kiss and slowly started to lick and suck on Brian’s neck. Going down further, he slowly kissed his way over to Brian’s nipple and slowly started to suck on it. After giving that one enough attention, he kissed his way over to the other one. Brian let out a moan as he felt Chris’s tongue slide up and down over the ridges of his tight fully formed abs.
Chris kissed and licked over to Brian’s belly button, flicking his tongue in and out of it; licking up the traces of their precum. As soon as the salty sweet flavor hit Chris’s tongue, he was hooked. He knew he wanted more and there was only one way he could quench his new thirst.
Without warning Chris started to suck on Brian’s cock; taking the whole thing in his mouth at once. With every thrust, Brian’s cock hit the back of Chris’s throat causing Brian to moan. Sliding his hand through Chris’s soft brown hair, he pushed Chris’s head deeper onto his cock. Brian let out a moan signaling he was close, causing Chris to suck harder and deeper. Every thrust brought Brian closer and closer over the edge. Brian let out one big moan as his cock exploded, sending sweet cum deep down Chris’s throat. Chris kept sucking the sensitive head until every last drop of cum was milked out of Brian’s cock.
Sliding back up to face Brian, Chris slid his tongue deep in Brian’s mouth. Brian could taste the slight salty taste of his cum on Chris’s tongue. Still making out with Chris, Brian pushed Chris to the side and than got on top of him. After a few more minutes of intense making out, Brian licked a line down the center of Chris’s body to his cock. He kissed the head, licking up the drops of precum that had cover it. Slowly he licked from the head down the length of the underside of the shaft, causing Chris to moan with pure pleasure.
Brian licked back up to the head and wrapped his whole tongue over the head before sliding the whole thing in his mouth. With his nose nestled in Chris’s short pubic hair, Brian started to close his throat around Chris’s head; forcing more precum out. Sucking with all his might, it did not take long for Chris to feel his balls tighten as he blew his load deep in Brian’s mouth. After making sure he got every drop of cum, Brian kissed his way back up Chris’s sweaty body.
Looking deep in Brian’s eyes, Chris said, “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Brian said, leaning down to lightly kiss Chris.
The two of them stayed in bed naked, just holding each other, not saying a word but just enjoying each other’s company. Suddenly the events of earlier hit Chris like an eighteen wheeler. He remembered Brian acting weird and how he lied to Chris about where he was at lunch. He needed to know what was going on, but how could he find out without pushing Brian away? Not only that but should he tell Brian about Todd?
“All that can wait.” He thought as he looked down to his boyfriend laying their; his eyes closed and his bare chest slowly rising and falling with every breath he took.
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Author’s Notes: First off, sorry for the delay. I am winding down the days to college graduation so I have been really busy these past few weeks.
Please Email me at: ryrywntsu2@yahoo.com for any comments, suggestions, etc. Also check out “My Little Turtle” and “Struggle To See Each Other Again” my other stories on here under the High School section.
Second, I have decided to start a yahoo group for all you readers out there. There you can post your stories of coming out, advice for anyone coming out. Advice on being gay, thoughts on the world and life in general. I encourage you to join, and I encourage any straight supporters to join as well. We live in a “crappy” world at times, but at least we can make a small change in it.
So please join at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/teenhelper/