Diving In
Chapter 14: The Past and the Pending
The following chapter takes a look back at the past of the characters in this story.
Four Years ago Cameron- Age 13
Cameron Wright had started to realize that he was different than the other boys in the 8th grade class of Mineola Middle School. He didn't really like sports all that much, he didn't like partying all that much, but more importantly he didn't like girls all that much. Yes, Cameron Wright was slowly discovering that he was in fact gay.
He started to realize this when he was 12 when he first started masturbating. Travis McCarthy would always tell him what porn websites to check out, but no matter how many times Cameron tried he couldn't get himself to cum while watching any of them. However, when he imagined some of the other boys from the locker room he came right away.
So, Cameron wasn't exactly sure how to approach this situation. He couldn't tell anyone, no, he had seen how the jocks and other asshole felt about gay guys. One day, while surfing the internet he came across a forum for gay teens like himself. He created a username and password, and started to talk about the issues he was having on the message boards.
Things were going well for a while until Cameron received a message on his forums account. The message was from a man, named Mark, who wrote the following:
Dear Cameron,
My name is Mark Armen, I am a twenty-nine year old gay man who gives advice to teens like you on these forums. However, it can be hard for you teens to talk about everything on these types of things, so I am offering some help, if you want it. You can e-mail me you're fears and problems and I can give you the best advice I can. I don't know if this is what you're looking for, but if you are, feel free! Hope to talk to you soon!
From, Mark
Cameron wasn't really sure out to react to this e-mail. He didn't see the harm in e-mailing him. So Cameron e-mailed him back, telling him a little bit about himself.
This continued for one month, back and forth. Cameron actually got to know Mark pretty well. Mark was twenty-nine and lived only a few towns over from Cameron with his boyfriend, Steve. They had been dating since high school and were very happy together. Steve was a writer and Mark was a salesman for a company nearby. Cameron grew to trust Mark.
In one of their conversations, Mark mentioned that he had a boat, and Cameron thought this was the coolest thing ever. He had never been on a boat before, well he actually had been on one before but it was when he was very young. Mark said that when it got nicer out that he would take Cameron out on it.
...
Six Months Ago Alex- Age 16
Alex Lucas lay on her bed in her laced bra and underwear, sweating and panting. She wiped the sweat off her forehead. Travis McCarthy collapsed next to her, completely naked, panting. They both just lay out of breath for a few moments, before Travis turned to her and smiled.
"That was fun," He laughed. She looked at him and started laughing also. She pulled him close and kissed him on the lips, then rested her hands on his chest. They just lay there for a moment. "I should probably get going," Travis sighed after a few moments.
"What? Where to?" Alex asked.
"I told Cameron I'd hang out with him," Travis sat up and grabbed his boxers and slid them past his ass. He then began to look for his jeans and t-shirt, but couldn't quite remember where he took it off. "Did you throw my..."
"All right, just um..." Alex sat up. "Maybe we could meet up later tonight, tickets go on sale for the New Pornographers tonight..."
"Yeah, that sounds good," Travis stuck his head under the bed and finally saw his shirt and threw it on. "All right, call me later." Travis jumped into his jeans, kissed Alex on the forehead and headed for the door.
"Hey wait," Alex called.
"What's up?" He answered.
"I just uh..." Alex didn't quite know how to phrase this. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm really happy about...this, about us. I'm...I'm happy." She smiled. Travis didn't quite know how to respond.
"Yeah, me too," Travis smirked then closed the door and left.
After Travis left, Alex spent the rest of the day working on homework and listening to a few new band demo tapes. She liked having Saturdays to herself, especially considering the fact that her mother wasn't home. Her father and mother worked at the same firm and worked every day of the week except for Sunday.
However, soon her mother and father came home together. They did their usual routine. Her mother went into the kitchen and started to make dinner while her father went to his room and took a nap. However, today something was different.
"Alexis, can you come down for a second?" Her mother called. Alex was taken by surprise, and she came down only out of curiosity.
"Yeah?" Alex asked as she came into the kitchen.
"Why hello to you too," She turned around. "So, Mrs. Murtha said she saw a boy leaving here today..." Alex felt her face getting red.
"She's crazy...I don't know what..." Alex started to defend herself.
"Look, cut the crap, I know he was here," Her mother snapped. "I told you to stop seeing him, and I'm not going to tell you again. This is your final warning."
"Or what?" Alex got defensive.
"Or...you're out of here." Her mother stated.
"You're going to kick me out for seeing someone? Are you serious right now?" Alex rolled her eyes.
"He's bad news, Alexis." She warned. "And yes, I'd kick you out."
"Well, guess what?" Alex snapped. "I'll start looking for an apartment." And with that she went up the stairs, leaving her mother stunned.
...
Two Years Ago James- Age 14
James Winters watched Kevin Trainer catch the ball in his stick and sprint towards the goal. He passed three players from the other team, but he was beginning to be overwhelmed.
"Winters!" Kevin called. James was taken out of his trance when he saw the lacrosse ball flying towards him. His reflexes took hold of him and he thrusted his stick up quickly to catch the ball. Now, with no one in front of him he ran towards the goal and shot it quickly, scoring just in time to hear the last buzzer ring. He had won the game for the team. Everyone crowded and around him and jumped on him, slapping his helmet. After countless pats on the back, he finally found Kevin.
"You know that was all me, right?" Kevin smiled as he removed his helmet. Kevin's hair was very short, as it was all of sophomore year. James thought Kevin looked better when it was long.
"Psh, yeah right." James pushed Kevin. James also took off his helmet. His curly hair was drenched in sweat, he had been in practically all game.
"I'm still sleeping over tonight, all right?" Kevin told. He had explained to James earlier in the week that his parents were going away and they wanted him to stay at a friends for the night.
"Yeah, sure. No problem." James shrugged as they both headed towards the locker room. James had developed a crush on Kevin the past year. They had been friends their entire lives, but this development was recent. James had only come to terms that he was gay a couple months before and ever since then he had seen Kevin in a different light. It didn't help that Kevin was absolutely gorgeous. He had the perfect body, masculine face, dark eyes. And from what James had seen in the locker room, he was packing some heat. However, besides friendship, Kevin had shown no signs of romantic interest.
"I need to talk to you about something, also." Kevin said. "It's kind of private so don't say anything."
"What is it?" James blushed.
"I'll talk to you about it later, I don't want anyone hearing me." Kevin muttered as he headed into the locker room. James' mind started to fantasize about what Kevin had to tell him as he approached his locker. Could it be true? Could Kevin have feelings for him as well? This could be the night, and James couldn't wait.
Six Months Ago Kieran Wilmer- Age 16
Kieran Wilmer sat alone at lunch. It was a typical situation for him. He used the time productively; he sat with his science homework in hand with his textbook, finishing up so he would have more free time later that night. However, this wasn't the only thing he was doing.
Everyday he sat in the same exact seat, at the same exact table, in the same exact corner of the cafeteria. He sat there because it was in the perfect position to watch Marissa Tampa's table. She sat with Meghan O'Halloran, Darcy Granger, Kevin Trainer, and Max Greco everyday. He watched her laugh at one of Max's comments, and seductively touch Kevin's arm. He hated both of them. He wanted to be them. Why wasn't she touching his arm?
Kieran worshipped Marissa, everything about her. He had ever since they worked on a project together when they were younger. He prayed every night that they would be together, but to no avail. He finished up his sandwich and headed over to his most dreaded class. Gym.
Kieran walked to his locker, unnoticed by any of the other kids changing for class. He opened it up and removed his shirt. He was abnormally skinny, and his ribs were poking out from under his skin. His veins were visible. It wasn't that he didn't eat, because he ate just as much as everyone else. He just had so many medical issues that he was taking up to twelve pills each day, some of which affected his appetite.
As Kieran was getting ready, he saw Max Greco open his locker. He watched as Max took off his shirt. Max's body was sculpted perfectly, his biceps were huge. He looked like a young Abercrombie model. Kieran wondered how the hell he got his body to look like that. Suddenly Max caught Kieran watching him.
"What the fuck you looking at faggot?" Max sneered. Kieran looked down, immediately avoiding eye contact. "I said, what are you looking at?" Max walked over to Kieran.
"Nothing! Sorry," Kieran begged.
"That's what I thought." Max turned around and went back to changing.
What a prick, Kieran thought to himself. He then put his sneakers on and headed over to the gym.
...
Six Months Ago Travis - Age 16
Travis sat on Cameron's bed tossing a beanie bag up in the air. After Travis left Alex's house, he had gone over to Cameron's to hang out with him. They had been hanging out all day but Travis wanted to head out.
"Come on, let's just check it out." Travis said as he threw the ball up.
"No, why would I want to go?" Cameron sighed. "I don't even have a fake I.D."
"This bar doesn't even card, dude." Travis pleaded. "It's going to be fun, we'll get wasted and pass out at my house. My mom won't care."
"Didn't you say you were supposed to hang out with Alex tonight?" Cameron asked.
"Yeah, but whatever I was with her all yesterday." Travis shrugged. "C'mon."
"No, sorry, I have homework," Cameron said.
"You're lame," Travis sighed and then got up and left. He went downstairs and hopped in his car. He drove immediately to the bar, clever titled The Thirsty Scholar. He parked his car in the back. Before going in he reached into his glove compartment and pulled out his pipe and filled it with the weed he had bought earlier that week. He lit a bowl and smoked for a few moments before heading inside.
The bar already was filled with people even though it was only seven o'clock. The night was still young. He ordered a Jack and Coke and sipped it slowly. He noticed a girl with short blonde hair, probably about twenty, eyeing him from across the bar. He avoided eye contact.
Travis had been raised by his mother all his life. He had never met his father in person. He left the family before Travis was born. His father had tried to contact him a few times but Travis refused. His mother always would say "You're just like you're father!" every time he would do something wrong. Sometimes he wondered if that was true, if he was just like his father.
`I'm really happy with us', Alex's words still rang in his ears. This freaked him out a lot. He didn't want there to be any "us". He never agreed to any "us". He wanted to be by himself. He liked Alex, he really did. She was hot, cool, and had an awesome taste in music. But at the same time, he was completely freaked out by her. To be fair, they'd been hooking up for a couple months, but that's it. They never said "We're boyfriend and girlfriend." He hated that shit. He took another sip from his drink and looked at the girl on the other end of the bar.
He got up from his chair and took a seat next to the blonde.
"Hey," Travis smirked.
"Hey kid," the blonde smiled back. "You eighteen?"
"Twenty- two, babe." Travis grinned.
Travis knew what he was about to do was wrong, but at the same time he knew he couldn't change who he was.
...
Two Years Ago James- Age 14
James and Kevin sat at the Winters kitchen table finishing up the last of the Domino's pizza that they had ordered.
"See I told you Domino's is better than Ralph's," Kevin smiled.
"Yeah, you're right." James agreed.
James' parents had already headed off to bed and his sister was out at some party, so they had the house to themselves. Kevin hadn't brought up the mysterious topic yet, but James didn't want to push it.
"You want to head upstairs? Maybe watch a movie or something?" James suggested.
"Yeah, sure." Kevin said.
They both ran up the stairs and went to James' room. James' mother had already set up an air-mattress on the floor for Kevin to sleep in. Kevin plopped down onto the air-mattress, while James took a seat on the bed. They both just lay in silence for a moment.
"So, what did you, uh, want to talk about?" James tried as best he could to casually bring up, but it still sounded rather blunt.
"Oh right," Kevin remembered. "It's nothing really..."
"Oh..." James didn't want to sound overexcited.
"Do you think I could fuck Marissa Tampa?" Kevin asked.
"What?" James was surprised and dismayed by the question.
"Do you think I could? I mean she flirts with me all the time. And Oh god, she's just so fucking hot." Kevin moaned. "Her tits are amazing. Remember when she was wearing that low cut shirt last week? Oh man."
"Yeah..." James rolled over in his bed.
"So? Do you?" Kevin asked.
"Yeah, sure. Why wouldn't she?" James shrugged.
"Yeah," Kevin thought for a moment. "She's really cool too. I mean, she's kind of a bitch, but different than the other stupid girls. Like Meghan. She said you were hot by the way. Meghan, that is."
"Oh really?" James faked enthusiasm.
"Yeah," Kevin said. "You should get with her. Seriously."
"Maybe," James sighed.
"Oh, turn on ESPN, I want to see the recaps of the game." Kevin told him.
James did as told, but his mind began to drift elsewhere. He was so sick of this shit. He was sick of being let down, sick of not having anyone. It was annoying because James knew that he would be a great boyfriend. He had so much to give, but no one to give it to. He couldn't believe that everything that he had with Kevin had only been in his own head. It was all bullshit. Bull shit.
...
Four Months Ago Max Greco- Age 17
Max Greco had too much to drink. He was completely wasted and completely alone. He was sitting in his room by himself, drunk off his mind. His eyes were red. He had been crying while he drank.
He knew he was gay. At this point, there was no denying it. He couldn't be a faggot though. He just couldn't. His entire life was planned out in front of him. He would follow in the foot steps of his two brothers. He would go to the Naval Academy, meet a girlfriend and marry her. That was the plan. He couldn't fuck it up.
But he couldn't change it, no matter how much he tried. Which was why his latest resort was alcohol. He had just been surfing the internet looking for porn, when he found himself watching gay porn, again. He turned it off and slapped himself. Idiot. He couldn't be doing that anymore. He would just ignore it. If he ignored it, it might go away. Who know's, it might even be a phase. However, deep down he knew it wasn't.
Max had left school early that day. He hadn't been feeling that well, and he wanted to be by himself. However, this also resulted in him being cooped up in his room all day.
He need to get out of his room, out of the house. He slammed his door and stumbled down the stairs and out the door. He hopped in his car and swerved away. This wasn't the first time that Max had driven under the influence; in fact it was far from it. He had gotten pretty good at drunk driving, mostly from practice. After a few blocks, he decided to drive by the school.
The car drove down the empty street leading up to the school. Max only then realized that he had completely forgotten to switch on his lights. He leaned forward trying to remember how to turn on the lights and fiddled with a few buttons. He looked up just in time to see a frightened kid, Kieran Wilmer, staying at him. He tried to stop in time, but it was too late. The car hit Kieran going at full speed.
Max stopped the car for a moment in disbelief. He had just hit a kid. Holy shit. Was he dead? He didn't have time to think. He looked to his left and saw James Winters rushing towards the car. He put his foot on the break and quickly sped off without thinking.
He drove back to his house closed the door and collapsed onto his bed. What had he done?
...
Six Months Ago Alex- Age 16
Alex looked around the empty apartment that looked out onto the beach. Although the apartment itself wasn't very luxurious, the location was amazing. She turned towards the real estate agent.
"It's amazing," Alex smiled.
"I know," The agent smiled. "If you want it, I can talk to the owner right away. I think we have a very good shot at getting it." Alex thought for a moment.
"All right, let's do it." Alex decided.
"Okay! Well we just have to fill out..." As the agent was talking, Alex felt her phone vibrate. She reached into her pocket and saw that it was Travis calling.
"Hey babe," Alex face brightened up. "Yeah, I'll see you there in twenty." She turned toward the agent. "Sorry, it's my boyfriend. Um, can we talk about this later. I'll swing by and pick up the paperwork tomorrow."
"Yeah sure, I'll contact the owners." The agent waved as Alex hopped into her car and sped off to meet Travis.
Travis sat on the hood of his car in the school parking lot. He had been sitting there for the past two hours, contemplating his next move. He wasn't sure how to approach the situation. Alex pulled up her car next to Travis. She opened the door and sat next to Travis on his good, kissing him on the cheek.
"Hey babe," she smiled. "So, I got the most amazing apartment, in the entire world. It's overlooking the beach, and it's in my pay range! I can pay for it by working at the Downtown and doing some other after school job I'm so happy!"
"That's great," Travis forced a smile.
"What's wrong?" Alex placed a hand on Travis' leg.
"Nothing, nothing." Travis looked away from her.
"C'mon, talk to me," Alex said.
"Seriously...it's..." Travis thought for a moment. "Look, I can't do this anymore."
"What?" Alex was taken aback.
"You're a really awesome girl, and I've had a lot of fun...but..." Travis started.
"Are you kidding me right now?" Alex asked. "Just like that? That's it? What the fuck happened?"
"Nothing happened," Travis lied. "I just don't want to be in a relationship."
"Well thanks for telling me now, after I fucking told my mom that I'm moving out, and after I found an apartment." Alex yelled.
"I'm sorry," Travis avoided eye contact.
"No, tell me why." Alex teared up. "Tell me why you're doing this."
"I..." Travis started.
"We were best friends before we started dating, Travis," Alex interrupted. "I can understand you doing this to some bimbo, but not to me."
"I slept with someone else," Travis blurted.
"What?" Alex was in shock.
"I said I..." Travis repeated.
"I fucking heard you," Alex ran her fingers through her hair. "Who was she?"
"Just some girl...two girls, actually." Travis didn't look at her.
"Look at me." Alex ordered. Travis didn't comply. "Look at me! Why would you do this? Does this make you happy?"
"No," Travis shook his head. "I can't change who I am, Alexis."
"Don't call me that," she said as she got into her car. She drove away, leaving Travis by himself.
...
Four Years ago Cameron- Age 13
Cameron waited on a bench by the dock. He had called a cab and paid for it with money he stole from his mother. He sat, nervous about how Mark would look and act. He wore a white t-shirt, with a blue bathing suit, just like Mark had told him too. Cameron looked around for a guy wearing a blue button down.
As he sat looking around, he heard a voice call his name. He turned around to see a guy in a blue button down and sunglasses. This was Mark.
"Mark?" Cameron nervously asked.
"Hey!" Mark smiled and extended a hand. "We finally meet!" Cameron stood up and shook his hand.
"I was getting a little nervous," Cameron smiled.
"Thought I wouldn't show up?" Mark laughed. "C'mon let me show you my boat. It's right down at the end of the dock."
They walked down to the end of the dock and Cameron saw the motor boat. It looked fantastic. It had a small sitting area in the back and then a cabin.
"Wow! Awesome!" Cameron exclaimed as he jumped on board.
"Yeah, it's a great ship." Mark agreed. "Here, take a seat and we'll head out to sea." Cameron sat down on one of the cushioned sides of the boat as Mark headed into the cabin and pulled the boat out of the harbor. The boat drove out into the sea, almost to the point where the harbor was no longer visible. Mark stepped out of the cabin.
"This is amazing," Cameron smiled.
"I know isn't it cool," Mark looked around at the sea.
"How close is this to your house?" Cameron asked.
"Um, the docks about ten minutes give or take away from my house," Mark shrugged. He took off his sunglasses to reveal two nice blue eyes. "How about you?"
"Um, it was only a twenty minute cab ride," Cameron answered.
"Oh, so we're close by," Mark said.
"Where's Steve?" Cameron asked. Steve was Mark's boyfriend who Mark had said would be coming.
"Oh, Steve had to go away on business," Mark explained.
"Business? I thought he was a writer?" Cameron wondered aloud.
"Journalist," Mark said. "Want to go for a swim?" Cameron thought about it for a moment.
"Do you think it's dangerous?" Cameron asked.
"No, I've been swimming in this place all the time," Mark calmed. Mark took off his shirt to reveal his chest which was filled with dark curly hair. He was a strong man, he had said that he worked out a lot. He took off his pants, showing a blue Speedo underneath. He jumped off the end of the boat. "You coming?"
Cameron thought for a moment, and then took off his shirt. He was somewhat scrawny, mostly because he wasn't finished going through puberty. He still didn't have any hair under his armpits, nor was he shaving. He hesitantly dove in the water next to Mark.
The both swam around for a bit until they were tired and Mark climbed up the side ladder and went to the cabin and got two towels. Cameron grabbed one as he hopped onto the boat. They sat across from each other.
"So, you having fun, Cam?" Mark asked.
"Yeah, absolutely." Cameron nodded. He dried himself off with the towel.
"I noticed you don't have any hair under those pits yet," Mark pointed. Cameron blushed. "Don't worry it'll come."
"Thanks..." Cameron awkwardly smiled.
"Do you have any hair down there yet?" Mark nodded with his head, referencing Cameron's pubic hair.
"Yeah," Cameron's face turned red.
"Yeah, I remember I got hair real young," Mark scratched his chest. "Come sit over here." Cameron shrugged and sat down next to Mark. "So have you experimented with any other guys yet?"
"Nope," Cameron shook his head. Mark placed his hand on Cameron's inner thigh, making him jump a little bit.
"Don't worry, you will." Mark smiled. He moved his hand further and further up Cameron's leg, until his hand was resting on Cameron's semi-hard erection. Cameron jumped and got up immediately.
"What are you..." Cameron was shocked. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing, just having a little fun, that's all..." Mark smiled.
"What...what about Steve?" Cameron's heart was racing fast.
"Oh..." Mark sighed. "Steve and I are on a break, we've been having some trouble lately. Just sit back down next to me. I'm not gonna bite." Cameron could hear his heart beat at this point.
"There is no Steve is there?" Cameron came to the realization as he said it.
"What? Of course there..." Mark started. "Okay, look, there is no Steve. I just told you that so you wouldn't think I was some creep..."
"And you're not?" Cameron started backing up. "I'm a thirteen year old kid and you're..."
"Look..." Mark stood up. He too looked like he was panicing. "I wasn't going to..."
"I want to go home." Cameron shouted. "Take me home."
"Look kid, just..."Mark walked toward him angrily. Cameron panicked; he turned to the side of the boat jumped. "Cameron!"
Cameron began to swim away from the boat as fast as he could. He could hear Mark calling after him, but he didn't care. He needed to get away.
After a few minutes he began getting tired, he could feel his legs giving way. He saw a boat in the distance. He tried to swim towards it, but he didn't have enough energy. He began to tred water, but even that was too hard. He soon went under, and everything went black.
Cameron awoke on board the coast guard's ship. It had spotted him purely by chance. If they had gotten there a second later, he would've been dead. The coast guard called his parents, and Cameron lied and told them that he had gone for a swim and swam too far out. They believed him, and everything went back to normal. Cameron, however, had much more trouble doing this. He couldn't go near water for the next four years. Until he met James.
...
Present Day James- Age17
"What do you mean you killed him?" James blurted.
"I killed him," Max cried. "I hit him with my car!" James was trying to process what he was hearing. Was it Max driving the car that night? He couldn't believe it.
"Oh my God," James whispered.
"Please, don't tell anyone!" Max moaned.
"Keep you're voice down," James hissed. "Look, Max, I'm going to have to drive you home."
"Can't I stay here?!" Max asked.
"No, you need to leave." James grabbed him by the arm. And pulled him off the bed. Max wouldn't move. "You need to leave, Max!"
"Please, just stay with...!" Max yelled. James put his hand over Max's mouth. He then used all of his energy to lift Max up and take him down the stairs and put him back into James' car. Max was passed out the entire way back. James brought Max up to his room and lay him down on his bed.
James looked at Max for a moment before he left. All he saw was a murderer.
Thank you so much for reading this chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. I love getting comments so please e-mail me at ryanwest25@yahoo.com