Do Over - Chapter 4
Nifty Disclaimer - This story is a work of fiction and contains scenes including sexual relations between people of the same gender. If this isn't your cup of tea, or is illegal where you live, please do not read. Any relation between fictional characters and real people is purely coincidental.
Do Over
Chapter 4
By DK Stories
1981 was not a year for high school students to be openly gay, much less junior high school students.
Whether Brian was gay or not, I had no idea. I knew I was, both from my original life and this, my second childhood. Girls were fine, and I knew plenty of them besides Jeanette and Ronna, but none of them got my blood boiling the way one look at Brian could. As Christmas time neared, I wondered where exactly my new life was heading.
Between that last Saturday of October and Christmas, my friendship with Brian had changed, becoming even closer than I could possibly have imagined. Wherever we went, he always had his arm around my shoulder in a gesture that was outwardly friendly to any who saw it, the type any best friend might make, but it was continuous and it was possessive.
"Davey's my best friend." Brian had announced to Brandon and Trevor that next Monday and they had just looked at him with raised eyebrows. He'd never before said anyone was his best friend, but now he had and they accepted it with nods. All four of us regularly got together as we had in the previous weeks, but there were days that Brian insisted on just the two of us doing things, and he constantly did his best to get me to sleep over at his house, or to sleep over at mine.
He even went to church with us on Sundays so he could sleep over on Saturday nights. Dad was pleased, and I had to admit to some worry when I always slept with the door shut when he was over, but Jenny seemed fine so I was pretty sure nothing like that was happening. Between Brian and I, though, a lot was happening.
I was very careful to never push him into new things, but he was constantly pushing on his own. It was three weeks before he managed to talk me out of my underwear and took my erection in his hand. We still hadn't progressed beyond frotting, and mutual masturbation, along with a lot of kissing and heavy petting. When my first hairs sprouted around my crotch just after December started, it was Brian who noticed and proudly showed me the light fuzz that was forming on his own ball sac.
After wrestling ended, with Brian once again winning the championship, and me placing third, his focus began to move towards track and baseball. He was very much a physical guy, determined to push himself at every sport that crossed his path and he wasn't happy unless I was right there with him. I noticed that his friendship with both Brandon and Trevor was suffering slightly and tried to get him to spend more time with them without me around, but he always insisted on me being there.
It was two weeks before Christmas break from school that Brian actually managed to catch the flu from one of his cousins and missed two days of school. I stopped by every morning, and every afternoon, but went to school on my own. I found I missed the arm that was continually around my shoulder, and must have gotten a little bit down, because both Brandon and Trevor noticed.
"Dude, you two ain't connected at the hip or anything." Trevor said as we left the cafeteria. It was cold outside, but this was California and there was no snow to worry about. I was wearing one of Brian's leather jackets that he'd insisted on me wearing when it had gotten cold and was glad for the warmth.
"What are you talking about?" I snapped at him testily.
"Dude, Brian's not here and you've been acting all depresso." Brandon chimed in from my other side. "It's like the two of you are fucking dating."
"Oh please." I said with a fair amount of scorn in my voice. "Like the two of you have anything to talk about with your sneaking out to Trevor's barn all the time."
Oh shit. Big fucking mistake right there. Both of them stopped dead and stared at me with expressions made up of shock, confusion, and a little bit of anger thrown in the mix. There was no way I should know that, and it had been Trevor that told me the one time we messed around in my original life. They'd done it when they were twelve and thirteen and stopped before they started high school. Trevor had gone on to date girls, and occasionally mess with a guy on the side, which was when we did it my junior year. He'd hinted about Brandon and me, and I learned that Brandon had told him about our messing around during freshman football.
"We don't…" Trevor started to say and then shut up. He grabbed my arm and we moved out to 'our' spot in the center of the field at the backstop. Some kids were there but took off when we moved towards them and we had a comfortable solitude around us.
"How did you know about that?" Brandon demanded angrily when he made sure no one could overhear. "We haven't even told Brian yet."
"I figured it out from some comments you two made." I lied, hoping they would accept it at face value. They weren't dumb jocks though, and my hopes crumbled pretty damn quickly.
"Bullshit, Jones." Trevor said. "We've never even made a comment about it and it only happened last weekend."
"Oh shit." I muttered, trying to think quickly on how to get out of this. They were staring at me angrily now and I thought about lying, saying I'd gone to see Trevor when Brian got sick and had seen them walking out there…but that wouldn't work. I had no idea what time it had happened or anything. A sudden desire to tell someone my secret welled up inside of me and I couldn't resist giving in to the desire.
"It's because you told me about it in our junior year of high school." I said to Trevor with a sigh of defeat. The incredulous expression on his face was rewarding though.
"What kind of bullshit is that?" Brandon demanded harshly.
"Brandon, you're gay and the first person you ever had sex with was your second cousin." I continued as my shoulders sagged. "It was this last summer while you guys were at football camp. Since then the only other person you were with was Trevor. Trevor, you've only had sex with Brandon at this point but right now you've been thinking of getting it on with Tiffany Watson. You like it both ways and always will. You'll also get your football scholarship to USC but you'll break your arm in a motorcycle accident and end up never playing again after your sophomore year. Last I heard you were working as a mechanic in a garage in West Modesto, strung out on crank."
"What the fuck?" Trevor exclaimed standing up and staring at me with his mouth open.
"Brandon, you'll end up a business major and start your own Internet Service Provider company in the 1990's." I continued with desperation to get it all out. "The last I heard, you'd sold your company for $3.2 million, invested most of it and then moved to Barbados with your boyfriend to live on the beach for the rest of your life. Of course that was in 1999 and I hadn't heard from either of you in five years."
"What about Brian, Mr. Smart-Ass?" Brandon demanded incredulously.
"Beyond the fact that a bitch tricked him into bed and into love with her so he could raise her kid as his own, I don't know, really." I admitted with a shrug. "He was never a close friend of mine."
"What are you really saying?" Trevor demanded as he overcame his shock. "You saying you're from the future or something?"
"That's fucking bullshit." Brandon said firmly.
"Let's see, I could tell you who wins the Super Bowl next year but then that should be pretty obvious by now." I said with a frown. "Most of the stuff I could tell you won't happen for years and years, I mean I really didn't pay much attention to a lot of shit when I was this age the first time. It boils down to the fact that you're my friends and you'll just have to take my fucking word for it or call me fucking crazy."
"So you're saying you're from the future?" Brandon pressed.
"Yes, no, kind of." I stuttered, meeting his eyes firmly. "I have the memories of the future, but I'm here, now in my own body. It was some mad science experiment I volunteered for. I was supposed to be here for twenty minutes and only able to observe, but I've been here since the first of August and it's a hell of a lot more than just observing."
"You're serious." Brandon said softly, his eyes wider than I'd ever seen them before.
"Da. Ochen seriozna." I said in Russian and they both blinked at me.
"I studied Russian in college for a few years." I explained. "When the experiment took place I was thirty-two."
"Fucking weird." Trevor said in a breathless voice. "Ti znaete shto ya govaryu?"
"Da, konyechna." I replied instantly and he just nodded. That was something I'd known that few people in the present really knew. Trevor's last name was an Americanized version of his parent's Russian past. They'd defected back in the seventies and it wasn't something any of them spoke of, but when the Soviet Union fell, the newspaper had run a piece on them and I'd read it. "Your parents are defectors. Your dad was a nuclear scientist who managed to escape while on vacation in France and the State Department arranged to buy the farm for them and give them a very comfortable bank account which your father has grown through some very wise investments in the stock market."
"Holy shit, is that true?" Brandon asked Trevor who just nodded with wide eyes. I'd almost forgotten about that until I'd replied to Brandon in Russian.
"How did you know that?" Trevor asked in a very quiet voice as the bell rang. None of us moved from the bench despite the warning to get to class.
"When the Soviet Union collapses and ceases to exist in December of 1991, a lot of things that were secret became public knowledge." I explained and Trevor sat down hard on the ground.
"You mean the Cold War will end without an actual war?" Brandon asked and I nodded.
"We're going to be late for class." I noted, standing but they didn't follow.
"Fuck class, we need to talk." Trevor said, finally standing and grabbing my arm. We picked up our backpacks and walked towards the P.E. Building. Coach Campbell was in his office and looked up at us with blatant curiosity.
"The three of us need somewhere to talk without being disturbed." Trevor said in a confident voice. Coach Campbell was a tough former marine who had lost his right hand in Vietnam. He didn't take crap from anyone, but he was also one of the most understanding teachers I'd ever met in either of my lives.
"Use my office for this period, and I'll write you passes you can take to your classes before the period is over." He said in a gruff voice. "I trust this is something we don't need to talk to anyone in authority about?"
"Davey's having a rough time and needs to talk things out with his friends." Brandon said softly and the coach just nodded. He'd never be one to show emotion, but he also respected people who stuck by their friends through hard times, and that was enough of an explanation for him. I'd never understood that about Coach until that moment, nor the maturity that Brandon would show by saying that.
"He always said good friends help each other when things are rough." Brandon explained with a shrug after the Coach had left us alone in his office. "Now, back to you and this time travel thing."
"Fuck, I don't know what to say." I said softly. "I've told you what happened, and now you know. I'm thirty-two mentally, but in every other way I'm twelve years old."
"You know things about the future, shouldn't you like…talk to the government or something?" Trevor asked. "I bet you know lots of things that they could use."
"Sure, I can explain how Reagan's policy of outspending the Soviet Union on nuclear proliferation and SDI will eventually cause their economic collapse." I said sarcastically.
"SDI?" Brandon asked.
"SDI, you know, Strategic Defense Initiative?" I replied sarcastically. "His 'Star Wars' missile defense shield?"
"When does that get done?" Trevor asked with wide eyes and I realized it hadn't happened yet.
"Sometime in the early or mid-eighties." I said softly. "It never really gets implemented, but it forces the Russians to spend a lot of money to keep up with us technologically and that led to glasnost, which in turn led to the economic collapse of the country. See, it all happens nice and neat and there's no need for me to stick my head into the mess and end up causing our side to be too confident and screw things up."
"He's right, it could make things worse, but what about other things?" Brandon said.
"Like what?" I demanded. "AIDS?"
"What's that?" Trevor asked.
"They're calling it GRIDS, or will be soon." I said softly. "It's a fucking killer of a disease, something called a retro-virus. Right now it's infecting gay men like crazy in San Francisco and New York, and Paris. In a few years they'll start dying by the thousands and in twenty years it will be killing millions of people throughout the world. They'll call it the 'gay plague' here in the U.S. until it starts killing other people as well and then they'll get serious. In twenty years, most of the people who are infected overseas will be heterosexuals and there will still be no cure."
"My god." Trevor said hoarsely, sitting back in a chair with a look of horror on his face.
"You have to do something about that." Brandon said and I snorted.
"What?" I demanded. "Let's say they believe me, and don't either fucking kill me or lock me away forever as a threat to national security, there's not much I can do. It's a retro-virus, and no one has ever cured a virus, much less a retro-virus, even in 2004. There's not even a vaccine by that time, and the only drugs out at that time prolong life, they don't cure the person. The only thing they could do now was lock up everyone who has the disease or might have the disease until they die."
"Then shouldn't they do that to protect everyone else?" Trevor asked.
"That's an old debate still raging over the internet in 2004." I said tiredly.
"What's the Internet?" Brandon asked. "You mentioned that's how I got rich."
"The Internet is a computer network that right now is only used by the military and educational centers like the big colleges." I explained. "It goes public in a decade, and a few years after that they create a new graphical user interface for it that makes it extremely popular. People connect to it through their phone lines and then cable or satellite and they can play games, chat with other people all over the world, and even download all the porn you can imagine right in your own bedroom. Who needs to go to a music store when you can buy cd's, or download the music right onto your computer at home?"
"No wonder I got rich from that." Brandon said with wide eyes and I just shrugged.
"Look, it's not as cut and dried as you two are thinking." I said softly. "I know a lot of stuff. Like, I know that in 1986, Iraq will fire two exocet missiles and kill 39 sailors on the USS Stark. I know that in 1990, Iraq will invade Kuwait and we will go to war with them along with 30 other countries and kick their asses. I know that those events will spark even more intense hatred of us in the Middle East, and that will result in terror groups that hijack four airliners, crashing two into the World Trade Center in New York and one into the Pentagon while the passengers fought the fourth plane's hijackers who crashed it into the ground instead of letting the passengers seize back control of the plane."
"Holy shit." Trevor breathed and I realized I was laying it on pretty thick.
"Don't you see, though, that if I try to change those things I might make things worse?" I demanded. "What if we shot down those missiles in 1986 instead of letting it hit our ship and we ended up at war with Iraq four years earlier? What if I tell the government to kill Osama bin Laden, the man who organized the hijackings and deaths of almost three thousand Americans and it never happens?"
"Dude! How could three thousand Americans not dying be a bad thing?" Trevor asked quietly.
"What happens after the three thousand Americans died?" Coach Campbell's voice surprised us from the doorway. His stump pushed the door open and he entered the office, staring at me with a look that said he believed every word I'd said, or at least what he overheard.
"You…" I stuttered and he moved to sit in his office chair before thrusting his stump out and hitting me in the chest.
"If I think one of my students, much less one of my athletes is having family problems you damn well better believe I'm going to be listening at the door." Coach Campbell said with a voice that brooked no arguments. "Now, tell me, did you ever enlist in the armed forces?"
"Yes, Navy." I said immediately and he scowled.
"Figures you'd be a swabbie." He snorted. "Let's talk adult to adult here, serviceman to serviceman. Did you fight in any conflict?"
"Yes, Desert Storm, in 1991." I said instantly, and realized he wouldn't know what that was. "Desert Storm was the combined forces operation to remove Saddam Hussein from the occupation of Kuwait, and it succeeded."
"I started listening about the time you were talking about that disease." Campbell growled. "Explain this whole time travel thing to me."
"In 2004 I participated in a science experiment that would allow a person to view the past through their own eyes." I said quickly. "I have no idea how it was supposed to work, but it went wrong. I don't just observe, I'm here, in my twelve-year old body, living in the past with all my adult memories and it doesn't look like I'm going back to the future any way other than day by day."
"Okay, back to the terrorist thing." Campbell said with a nod of his head. "What happened after the three thousand Americans died?"
"The attack horrified Americans, and people throughout the world." I explained carefully, aware of my two friends watching and listening. "The terrorist and his organization had been known for years. They used a truck bomb on the WTC in 1995 or something like that, but people treated it just like any terrorist case. When President Clinton fired missile strikes against the terrorist bases in 1998, there was public outcry against taking military action against terrorists. Then, they bombed a destroyer in 2000 and there was no serious call for a military response. After America, and the world, watched the twin towers collapse from being rammed by passenger jets, nothing less than full military response would satisfy anyone. We invaded Afghanistan where the camps were located and dealt several critical blows to their infrastructure."
"Afghanistan?" Campbell frowned. "The Soviets aren't having much luck there right now."
"Nor will they." I said with a shrug. "It's their Vietnam and they'll pull out eventually. Right now we're funding the insurgents fighting against them, most will go on to form the anti-American terror groups."
"Then if we stopped helping them now, they wouldn't be able to hurt us in the future." Campbell argued and I snorted.
"No, but then the Soviets might win their war in Afghanistan, and that could keep them alive as a country when they should be gone by 1991." I countered and he nodded.
"So, instead you just live your life trying to do as little to change the world around you as possible." Campbell noted. "Tell me what you have changed so far."
"Mostly stuff with my family." I admitted. "I also…changed some of my friendships. I became casual friends with Brandon, and a little with Trevor in high school, but I never went out for sports until freshman football."
"Now you're good friends with all three, third-place in divisional wrestling, and getting ready for track season." Campbell said. "It seems hypocritical that you're improving your personal life for your own gain, but not willing to help your country."
"I can't control the changes that would happen on a national, or global scale, if this information became available to the government." I said slowly, trying to articulate how I'd been justifying this. "I can control, to a large extent, my personal interactions and much of my personal life. I can stop my dad from making the biggest mistake of his life, one that ruined the lives of most of my family. I can become friends with the people that I wish I'd been friends with sooner, and longer. I can choose to excel in school instead of slacking off because I was bored with it, and I can improve my physical wellbeing. I don't know where the changes will be leading, but they won't end with nuclear missiles being fired across the globe."
"Good enough." Campbell said slowly. "You've obviously thought this out. Now, I'm going to forget this conversation ever took place, unless you need to talk to an adult about things that are happening. I'll leave you three to finish up, but you've only got about ten minutes before I kick you out."
"Thanks Coach." I said as he left and he just nodded at me.
"Shit, sorry, Davey." Trevor said from where he'd been standing quietly ever since the Coach entered.
"Shit happens, Trev." I said with a shrug. "The important thing is: are we still friends?"
"Why would someone your age want to be friends with kids like us, and what's going on with you and Brian?" Brandon asked and I let out a long breath.
"I have the memories of being thirty-two, but I'm twelve." I said softly. "Unless I open the can of worms with the government, I'm just a twelve-year-old kid, and even then I'm physically this age. I'm friends with you guys, because honestly I like you. You're both smart, you're funny, and it's fun being around you guys. I enjoy the things we do together as much as you do, even more because I didn't do a lot of this stuff the first time I was this age and now I am. As for Brian, I don't feel comfortable talking about that without him being involved in the conversation."
"So you've already told him about you?" Trevor asked and I shook my head.
"Dude, no." I said aloud. "I didn't intend to ever tell anyone, but I'm sure as hell not going to keep it from him now that someone knows. I wish I'd told him first, to be honest."
"So what is going on between you two?" Brandon pressed and I knew I'd have to say something more direct to satisfy his protectiveness.
"More than I expected or wanted to happen." I admitted with a shrug. "When it comes to the…relationship between us, he's the one leading the way and I'm always trying to put the brakes on things."
"Whoa!" Trevor said holding up his hands. "That's a little more than I wanted to ever know."
"Oh shut up." I said with some exasperation. "We haven't even gone as far as you two sucking each other's dicks in the barn."
"Shit, I really told you about that?" Trevor asked with a frown.
"Yep, right after I fucked you." I said with a grin and he flinched. "Of course, that was after you came on to me because Brandon told you about he and I messing around under the bleachers our freshman year. You thought you were going to poke my hole, but I turned the tables on you."
"Okay, that's enough." Brandon said with a frown and a shake of his head. "We've never done it though, right?"
"No, that's my past, and a future that's never happened." I said softly.
"But it might happen, right?" Trevor said with a grin that I knew all too well and a rub of his crotch through his jeans.
"No." I said firmly. He pouted for a moment before smiling.
"You know, I feel better having gotten all these secrets out." Trevor said with a smarmy grin.
"We still have to talk to Brian." Brandon noted, staring at me with an appraising gaze.
"Today after school." I said with a nod. "He was feeling better this morning and his mom said she'd let him go to school tomorrow."
"Fine, I'll call mom before P.E. and tell her not to pick us up." Brandon said, referring to him and Trevor as we planned our get together at Brandon's house for that afternoon.
I paid no attention to the rest of my classes that day, thinking instead on the ramifications of my admission. To be honest, my biggest concern was how Brian would take the news. Finally, I had to be honest that I was falling in love with him, not puppy-kid love, but adult love. The problem? He really was twelve and I could never be sure if it was real love or puppy love led along by his hard-on.
Only time would tell, and there was likely to be years ahead of us.
Coach Campbell pulled me aside during P.E. and we had a very lengthy discussion. My respect for the man grew tremendously from that conversation. His first words were a warning that if he ever thought I was using my greater experience to hurt my friends, he'd kick my ass made me smile and nod in acceptance. It was actually a relief to know that someone besides myself would be watching for that problem. Then he told me that he agreed with my reasoning on not talking to the government, and that the analogy with that and my personal life were really unimportant.
"You've got a second chance, make the most it." He'd said in closing and that had left me in good spirits after I showered and headed with Trevor and Brandon to Brian's house. His mom, a tall blonde woman smiled as we came in and said Brian was still in his room. Brian smiled widely when we entered and was surprised when I crossed to his bed as soon as the door was shut and sat down next to him while Brandon and Trevor took seats on the end of the bed.
"What's going on?" Brian asked in a puzzled tone as I managed to snake myself under his arm and lean on his chest. He reflexively wrapped his arm around my shoulder and then looked apprehensively at our two friends.
"See, they are a couple." Trevor said with a grin, slapping Brandon's arm playfully.
"Um, we've got some things we should talk about." I said softly and Brian tightened his grip around me.
"Dudes, if you've got a problem with us than you can just fuck off." Brian said harshly to the other two. "You ain't calling me or Davey any names or I'll kick the shit out of you."
"Dude, no problems here with that." Trevor said quickly, holding his hands up defensively. His hazel eyes were sparkling with mirth. "Besides, you two haven't even blown each other yet like Brandon and me."
"Uh, talk about too much information." I said with sarcasm and Trevor shrugged while Brandon blushed.
"So, like all four of us are fags?" Brian said with a hint of awe in his voice.
"No." Brandon said quickly. "According to the old man you're holding, I'm gay, so is he, Trevor's bi-sexual, and we don't know about you."
"Huh?" Brian said and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Well, it's a long story so I hope you're comfortable." I said softly and Brian chuckled softly.
"Yeah, go ahead dude." Brian said. "I'm feeling a hell of a lot better and it's about time for some excitement."
"Dude, not with us in the room." Trevor exclaimed and we all laughed. I looped my right arm around Brian's firm abdomen and lifted my head so that we could see each other's eyes.
"Brian, there's some things I need to tell you and… well, it's not going to be easy to understand." I said softly and saw the worried look fill his young face. I continued quickly to stop that look, and as I explained for the third time about the mad science experiment, and my reasoning for keeping it a secret and why I'd decided to share it after all, at least with those I trusted, his worried look turned to a frown.
"So, you've been playing like some game with me?" He demanded angrily, trying to pull away, but I kept him close to me.
"No, absolutely not." I said softly but with a firmness he couldn't ignore, and his eyes bored into mine as I spoke. I willed with every fiber of my being he'd see I was being totally honest with him. "This isn't some stupid game. This is my life, your life, Trevor and Brandon's lives as well. I may have the memories of living for thirty-six years, but I'm twelve right now. Those things I remember may or may not happen, but I know that my life has been fucking ten times better thanks to you and those two doofuses. This is why I've been trying to keep things slowed down between us, because I don't want you to think you're in love with me when you're not."
"Why wouldn't I be?" Brian demanded. "Is it because I'm just twelve, mind-wise as well as by age?"
"Partially." I admitted and winced as he scowled at me. "It's not that I think you're too young to feel love, or to know what you want, but it's just that…well, it's hard to explain."
"You're the old man." Brian said. "Hell, you're as old as my dad! You better be able to explain it better than that."
"Okay." I said with a nod. "It's like this. As people grow older, they change in some ways. Not everything changes, but some things do. Like, two years ago G.I. Joe was an important part of your life, and that thing between your legs was just for pissing. Now, if you had to choose between playing with a GI Joe figure and playing with that thing between your legs, which would you choose?"
"Well, duh." Brian said with a smarmy grin. "It's more fun to jack off."
"See, that's something about you that's changed." I said with a grin. "That's part of life, we always change and it doesn't stop when you become an adult. At twenty, I thought that prime rib was better than filet mignon, but at thirty I preferred filet mignon. Those are little things, though, and not all the things that change are little things. Sometimes our goals in life change too. Maybe at seven you wanted to be an astronaut, but at eighteen you realize you'd rather be a computer programmer. Well, if I'd grown up with you expecting you to be an astronaut and I'd set up my life towards that goal with you, I might be upset at your change, and that could cause a rift between us. That's how relationships, and even friendships end. Most people don't remain friends with people they knew growing up because too many big things changed in their lives and they grew apart."
"But not everyone grows apart." Brandon said from where he sat at the end of the bed. He and Trevor had moved now and Trevor was now lying with his head in Brandon's lap. I kind of raised my eyebrows and thought maybe I was seeing another change.
"No, not everyone grows apart." I said with a nod of my head. "It's not easy to not grow apart, but it does happen. You have to work to keep your relationship, even if it is a friendship, healthy. Communications about things like what you like, what you want have to happen regularly, and everyone involved has to be willing to adapt to the changes in each person. Sometimes you can't just adapt, and the friendship or relationship ends. The good news is that the older you get, the less you change significantly. That's why most relationships that last for a few decades will last forever, because people have already survived major changes together and can weather the smaller ones with no problems."
"So, what you're saying is that you're worried that as I grow up I'll change and not want you around?" Brian said softly.
"That and I'm worried that I might be influencing you to like guys when you're just a horny kid." I said. "Believe me, I lived for sixteen years as an openly gay man, but in this twelve-year old body, if some chick started rubbing against me when I was horny I might be tempted to slip it in her just to get off."
"That's nice to know." Brian said in a miserable voice and looked away towards the window.
"I said I'd be tempted, not that I would." I told him. "Dude, I'm just going to go for broke here and lay it on the line. I have never, ever, felt the way I do about anyone like I feel for you. It doesn't matter that you aren't the same mental age as me, and it's taking all my self-control to keep from letting you rip my pants off and make love to me. The only thing that's keeping me under control is this stupid dream that I want it to fucking last, and I think it's worth taking the effort to do that. I think that's why I really just went ahead and told those two about me today, because then I'd have to tell you and I knew I'd end up telling you about these feelings."
"Dude, did Davey just say he wanted to marry Brian?" Trevor whispered and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Gay marriage doesn't really become legal until 2004 and that's only in Massachusetts." I told them and they stared at me like I'd just grown two heads. I think that statement really caught them by total shock.
"You mean, two guys, really fucking getting married?" Trevor asked with total surprise while I felt Brian's arm tightening around me. "As in fully legal marriage?"
"Yep, state recognized in 2004." I said with a smirk. "Now, Belgium, the Netherlands, and Canada beat them to that, legalizing it a few years earlier. Remember how we were talking about the terrorist affect earlier?"
"Yeah." Brandon said and even Brian nodded since we'd gone over that argument in my explanation earlier.
"Well, remember me telling you about that disease?" I asked and the two nodded while Brian looked at me with confusion.
"What disease?" He asked me and as I spoke he grew paler and paler. He started asking me questions about the specifics of the disease and I ended up explaining how horrible many of the deaths were from the disease.
"That's awful." He said in a weak voice. "I've got to tell Uncle Rich."
"Who's Uncle Rich?" I asked him.
"My mom's brother." He said softly. "He's gay and lives in San Francisco. That's why I'm not too worried about my parents finding out. Dad and mom like him and even dad told me that if I turned out to be gay he'd love me anyway."
"Wow, my old man's going to kill me, again." I said with sarcasm.
"Shit, you're going to have to tell him twice, aren't you?" Brandon asked with a smile of his own.
"Not until I'm eighteen." I said with conviction. "I told him at twenty the first time, and the shit hit the fan royally. If he found out at this point in time, he'd probably try to ship me off to one of those religious re-education centers where they shock you to make you straight."
"Does that work?" Trevor asked with curiosity.
"Not really." I answered. "It works in that you react negatively to stimuli from another guy, but it doesn't make you straight. It just keeps you from acting on your natural impulses."
"Oh." Trevor said to my answer and I could see he was still thinking things over.
"So back to this disease." Brian said, returning us to the explanation I'd been giving earlier.
"Yeah, so as awful as this disease is, what it did for the gay community was immeasurable good." I told them. It was a painful truth, an awful truth, but it was still a truth. "It galvanized them the way nothing else had, and what's more, it gained them the sympathy from regular people nothing else could create. After the backlash we'll see in the next few years, when kids who are hemophiliacs get the disease, and pregnant mothers, and so on, people will start to look at it differently, and when they do they'll feel guilty about having been so negative at first. That will translate into a desire to make some amends that will eventually achieve a lot of changes in society. Don't get me wrong, even in 2004 it wasn't easy being gay, and not everyone supported things like gay marriage. Hell, even a majority of Americans were still opposed to it, but progress was being made and was continuing despite everything the religious nuts were trying to do to stop things."
"So, if the disease doesn't happen as big as it did, things won't get better in the future." Brian said with some thought.
"Exactly." I answered, and then he proved to me just how smart he was.
"But…you're changing things in your personal life." He said. "How do you know that changing your experiences, or those of your families won't end up being worse off?"
"Because of a few things." I said carefully. "First, most of the changes I'm making are in my own life. Having you guys as friends, being more active in school, those kinds of things. I've already learned the lessons of my own past, and so that danger isn't as present for me. As for my own family, all of them died young, far too young. The things that went on were just too painful for them to overcome, and I'll be there to help guide them through the hurdles that the changes might create. I think that'll be enough. As for you guys, well, you know the whole truth, and I think that's enough to keep things from becoming worse because of it all. If I talked to the government, they'd never admit to having someone who knew the future, and so there would be no canceling factor like there is because we do know."
"Hmm." Brian said, and I could tell he was thinking things through.
"Boys?" His mother's voice echoed from the hallway as she knocked. I moved away from Brian slightly, just enough so as not be obvious, and she opened the door. "Are you going to be staying for dinner or going home?"
"We'll be heading home soon Mrs. Breckenridge." Brandon said. Trevor had sat up from his lap as I moved away from Brian. She turned to look at me with a question on her face.
"I better be going home and making dinner myself." I said with a sigh and she just nodded before heading out. Brandon and Trevor followed her to make phone calls so their parents would pick them up, leaving Brian and I alone. I nestled back under his arm and he let out a sigh.
"Why didn't you tell me first?" He asked with that sigh.
"I was scared how it'd affect what you feel for me." I answered honestly and he nodded against my head from where it rested on his shoulder.
"Is that why you're always letting me take the lead on things?" He asked and I was surprised he'd noticed that.
"Kind of, and because I like it." I said with a small smile he couldn't see. "You keep me motivated to work out, and play sports and without that I'd probably quit after a while. I need that motivation, and you do that for me."
"But you're the adult." He said in a voice that was as close to a whine as I'd ever heard from him.
"No, I'm the one who remembers being an adult." I countered softly. "Right now, I'm as much of a kid as you are. I like the way you take charge of a lot of things. When you're not around, I have to do that a lot myself, and it's nice leaning on someone else for a change. When you need to lean on me, let me know and we'll switch until you want to switch again."
"I can live with that." Brian said and I didn't have to see his face to know he was grinning. "I'm feeling a lot better by the way."
"I noticed." I said dryly.
"Good, let's hit the batting cages on Friday." He said with laughter in his voice. "You still need to get some practice in."
"Fine." I said softly, just taking pleasure in the moment. It was over far too soon as a knock on the door announced the return of our two friends.
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As with all my stories, E provides immeasurable input, grammar checking, and all those other lovely editing thingies that make the story so much better!