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LOVE IS ALL THAT MATTERS ~ Chapter 10 ~
From the Narrative of Joshua Spencer:
The doorbell rang just as I put down the phone after talking to Liz at the cafe.
"Who could that be?" I wondered aloud. I walked over to the front door and pulled it open. Harry was standing on the steps, looking as gorgeous as ever although I could only see the top of his bowed head. The sunlight was glinting on the blond streaks in his brown hair and it was all I could do to stop myself from running my fingers through it.
"Hi, didn't expect you here so early. So what brings you here? A repeat of yesterday's session?" I joked.
"Um," He didn't look up. I suddenly felt worried.
"Harry, is something wrong?"
He reluctantly looked at me. "My Dad knows. He knows that I'm gay."
It was then that I noticed the dried blood on his lower lip. I felt rage course through me.
"Did he do that?" I asked angrily.
"Huh? What? Oh, this." He touched his lip gingerly. "He didn't take the news very well."
Didn't take the news very well? That was a mild way of putting it.
"He hurt you! That bastard actually hit you."
"No, no. It's not his fault. I -"
I couldn't believe he was still defending his father at this point.
"Harry, how did he find out?"
"I guess he must have hired a PI to follow me around," he sniffed. "He had these surveillance photos of me, of us kissing outside the cafe."
"Oh shit." I realized I was the cause of all this. "I made you do that. You didn't want to but I convinced you there wasn't any harm and now . . . I'm sorry."
"No, I'm kind of glad it's out in the open now. I feel lighter now . . . you know, like I don't need to hide. And at least Mom didn't take it badly."
"Your Mom? How is she?"
"Well . . . she left Dad after he hit me."
"Wait, your Mom left him?" I was stunned by this abrupt change in Marcia, whom I'd always adored but would never have pegged as the kind to leave her husband.
"Yeah, I was amazed too. She's in the car."
"Then why didn't you bring her in?"
"No, it's okay. We're going to find a nice motel to stay in and -"
"Hold on, a motel?"
"Yeah, I guess we're going to have to rough it out. I daren't go to my sister's place. I don't want Dad to be mad at her. And Mom insists on staying with me." He ran his hands through his hair, looking a bit bewildered by the suddenness of everything. "I'm guessing it won't be easy. I mean, we just left - didn't even bring any stuff with us."
I had an idea. "Harry, you don't have to go to a motel. You can stay here."
He stared at me. "What? No, I couldn't possibly impose on you. And I told you, Mom won't leave me so I -"
I interrupted. "Your Mom can stay here too. There's my parents' old bedroom."
"It's really nice of you, Josh, but we can't -"
"Oh come on, are you my boyfriend or not?" I asked him.
He smiled uncertainly. "I'm really your boyfriend? `Cause I wasn't sure about -"
I rolled my eyes - he could be so naive at times. "Of course you're my boyfriend, you idiot."
"Oh," was all he said.
"Do you need further convincing?" I leaned down to give him a kiss.
His smile widened into a full grin. "Can we really stay? It's only for a few days, I promise, till we get everything sorted out." He looked like he was warming to the idea.
"Come on, we'll tell your Mom." I started to go down the steps, when I felt a hand slip into mine. Harry smiled at me and whispered, "Thanks, Josh."
"This is small compared to what I'd be willing to do for you, Harry."
Harry's Mom had been watching us through the window. As we approached, she lowered the window.
"Hi, Mrs. Ridgeway," I told her.
She smiled at me. I noticed her eyes flicked over our entwined hands, but her gaze didn't linger there.
"Joshua, I thought I told you to call me Aunt Marcia. Especially now -" I couldn't help blushing.
"Oh yeah, sure, Mrs - I mean, Aunt Marcia. I was just telling Harry here, you can both stay here for the time being."
She looked doubtful. "Joshua, that's very kind of you but I don't that would be a good plan. I mean, Harrison's father will find out and then -"
"I'm not afraid of him, Aunt Marcia."
She smiled at me sadly. "Alistair is a congressman, Joshua. He has connections. And I know well enough how he can make life unpleasant for those who defy him. It's just that I haven't been poised at the receiving end before."
"Aunt Marcia, you'll be okay here for a few days. After that, if you want to find somewhere else, you can go ahead. But Harry . . . I think it's best for him to be here with me."
Marcia laughed. "You sound so protective of him. Are you sure this has been only a recent development?" Harry blushed.
Then she looked at me seriously. "Joshua, it's not only a matter of Harrison's father. I know your parents didn't leave you well off when they died. And for you to have two more mouths to feed . . . you can't possibly earn much from that hardware store."
I shook my head. "I don't run the hardware store anymore. I've got a cafe now. Well, not me alone. Reid - that's . . . um . . ." My voice trailed off. How was I going to describe Reid to Marcia? I noticed Harry was watching me closely.
"Reid's a friend. He lives with me and he co-owns the cafe. But there's still more than enough room for both of you. It'll mean a lot to me if you stay here."
Marcia looked at Harry's glowing face and then back at me.
She said softly, "I've never seen Harrison this happy before." She smiled slightly. "Alright, if it means so much to you, we'll stay . . . just for a couple of days. And we'll pay you back once we find something to do."
"There's no need for all that -" I started to protest.
Marcia looked at me firmly. "No, I insist."
I realized she wasn't going to agree unless I let her have her way. "Okay. Do you have any luggage?"
Marcia sighed. "I'm afraid not. I suppose I got carried away with the whole storming out of the house part. It wouldn't have been half as dramatic to stop in the driveway and return for your clothes." Her eyes twinkled, but then she looked stern. "But I wasn't going to let my husband hit Harrison."
"No, of course not." I wondered if she knew. From the way Harry was looking down at the floor, I guessed he hadn't told her.
"Don't worry about clothes. There are some of my mother's clothes . they might fit you. I should think you're around the same size. But for Harry . . . well, my clothes will be a bit big on him, but that can't be helped. We'll talk about that later. First let's get you settled in."
Harry tapped my shoulder as I started to lead the way back to the house. "Aren't you going to ask Reid about this whole arrangement first?"
I was about to say, "What for?" when I realized he was right. This was my house, but Reid had stayed with me for almost a year now. It was sweet of Harry to remember to ask Reid's permission. I loved him even more for it.
"I'll ask him later," I whispered. "He'll be okay with it. Let me just show your Mom to her room first, okay?"
Harry nodded, but he didn't look very comfortable.
"Okay, if it makes you feel better, I'll ask him first, okay? You show your Mom to her room; you know which one it is, right? My parent's old bedroom?"
"Yeah, I know." He turned towards his mother. I went ahead of them and into Reid's bedroom. He was evidently still suffering from his hangover.
"Who was that?" he asked immediately.
"It's Harry. He's, um, coming to stay here for a while . . . if that's okay with you."
Reid raised his eyebrows. "Wow, that was quick. To think it was only yesterday I left you two alone."
"Reid, be serious. His father found out that he's gay and freaked out. So he has nowhere else to go. His Mom's here as well. And he was the one who told me to ask your permission first."
Reid sighed heavily. "You forgot, didn't you? Even the guy I thought was my sworn enemy thought of asking me when you didn't."
I felt very guilty when he said that. I knew he was right. I'd told him I was still there for him, but somehow everything else seemed to fade away when I saw Harry.
"Don't mind me . . . your guests are waiting." Reid managed to sound sarcastic but sad at the same time.
"Reid! I can't deal with this right now."
"No, really, go and look after them."
I looked at him hesitantly. "You're - you're sure?"
"I know what he must be feeling right now, Josh. You'd better go to him. I'll be fine . . . I always am . . ."
I looked at him, but he'd closed his eyes again. I let out a sigh and went in search of Harry and his Mom.
"Oh good, you've found the room. Well, Mom's clothes are in
the wardrobe over there." I felt a lump in my throat. "I
didn't touch them after the accident."
Marcia patted my hand. "It's okay, Joshua. I don't really
need -"
"No, I want you to have it. They'd be wasted otherwise."
She looked at me doubtfully. "Okay. But first I need to use the bathroom." I nodded and pointed out the door.
After she'd closed the door behind her, Harry turned to me.
"Where's Reid?"
"Um, he's ... well, he's having a hangover. He didn't come home last night."
Harry looked troubled. "That's not something he usually does, is it? It's because of me and you."
I wasn't sure how I should respond to that. "No, it - I just don't know what to say to him. He's really depressed."
"Do you want me to talk to him?"
"That's nice of you, Harry, but I don't think you can help."
"I might . Reid and I share the same problem - we're both in love with the same guy. I feel really guilty about stealing you away from him."
"You didn't steal me away. But yeah, I feel guilty, too." I suppose there was no harm in him trying to talk to Reid. "Okay, go ahead. But I'm not sure he'll be awake."
"I'll go and check on him. You stay here with Mom, okay?"
I nodded.
From the Narrative of Harrison Ridgeway IV:
"Reid?" I called out as I entered his room. He was lying on the bed, apparently asleep. I sat down on the bed next to him anyway.
"Reid, are you awake?"
His eyes flew open - they were pale blue like the morning sky.
"Oh, it's you." He didn't sound pleased to see me. What did I expect - for him to welcome me with open arms? Maybe I wasn't the right person to talk to him.
"So you're moving in, huh?"
"No! I mean ... well, yeah. But I didn't expect it to happen this way."
"Not everything happens the way we expect it to," Reid observed. I could tell he was trying hard to pretend he was emotionally detached.
I agreed. "That's true, I guess."
He was silent.
I had to try again. "Look, Reid, I wanted to talk to you about Josh -"
He interrupted me. "Do you know how I first met him?"
I shook my head.
"It was in the gay bar where I usually spent my evenings. I noticed this guy sit down opposite me at the bar. I wouldn't have said he was my type. I mean, he was attractive and all that, but he looked like really out of place in there, like a lost lamb. Then he turned around and I found myself staring into these beautiful gray eyes."
Reid was silent for a moment, doubtless lost in the recollection of that night. Then he continued, "And then he gave this cautious sort of smile and introduced himself. I waited for him to give the usual pickup lines, but he didn't. After the introduction, he just kept quiet. I grew tired of waiting and asked him whether he wasn't going to buy me a drink."
"He looked at me in a funny way and asked whether that was how it was usually done?"
"I laughed at him and he turned red. Then he said, I wouldn't have offered anyway because I'd have thought you've already drunk enough."
"It was cute, you know, the way he was so self-righteous. I asked him if he'd ever been to a gay bar before. He shook his head. I told him that it showed. I asked him if he wanted to go elsewhere. He wasn't sure at first, but somehow I got him to agree to come to my apartment. We started off kissing, and then we got into the heavier stuff. That was when he stopped me and told me it was his first time. I was a bit astounded that a good-looking guy like him could reach the age of 20 without having done it before."
"He said he'd been waiting for his dream guy, but he'd given up hope. He didn't tell me the details then, but he meant you. I asked him whether I'd make up for the dream guy, and he said maybe."
"So I promised I'd be gentle, and we did it. He was so quiet, you know, no resistance or fear at all. He didn't even let out a single cry of pain. And when it was over, he kissed me and thanked me, ever so sweetly, for his first time. He actually thanked me! And I knew then that I'd lost my heart to him."
Reid grew quiet again.
I cleared my throat. "I'm sorry, Reid."
"There's nothing you have to be sorry about, Harrison. At least I found out sooner rather than later - I'm doomed to spend the rest of my life alone."
And here I thought I was pessimistic! I always saw the glass half-empty, but Reid seemed to find it completely empty.
"Reid, I'll be frank with you, okay? I find you one hell of a hot guy. I mean I've seen you . . . a bit more fully." I managed not to embarrass myself further by blurting out that Reid's killer abs were drool-inducing.
I continued. "The thing is - I know you're a sensitive guy under the whole tough-guy act. There's no reason why someone shouldn't love that part of you."
He didn't reply. I thought he might be asleep, but his eyes were still open.
"It's your first relationship, Reid. If it doesn't work out, you can move on."
"It's not as easy as you make it seem. Have you tried it yourself? Have you tried not to be in love with Josh?"
"No," I admitted. "But you just told me earlier, Josh wasn't your type. You can find other guys who are more your type. I'm sure you won't have any problem finding them."
"It wouldn't be the same as with Josh."
"I know it won't. It's hard to let go of Josh. But you need to, for your own good. If not, you're just going to destroy yourself like this. And Josh doesn't want that to happen to you."
Reid laughed bitterly. "I doubt that he even cares."
"That isn't fair, Reid. You know how he's hung up over me. If you want to blame anyone, it should be me. Every time I show up, it's as if he forgets everything else. Tell me this, Reid: If he didn't care about you, do you think he'd have spent a year in a relationship with you? Do you think he'd start a cafe with you? Josh might not be in love with you, as you hoped, but he does care about you, Reid."
He looked like he was contemplating what I'd said. Then he said, in a voice devoid of emotion, "You'd better go and see to your Mom."
"Did you hear what I said?"
He looked like he didn't want to reply, but finally he nodded. "I'll think about it, okay?"
I guess that was a start. "Okay."
He turned over and snuggled up with his pillow. I stared at his back - tanned and rippling with muscles. If I wasn't in love with Josh, I would easily fall in love with Reid. I don't mean just for his body. From what he'd told me about his first encounter with Josh, I knew he was just as vulnerable as I'd been. He'd fallen in love with Josh from the very start. Who could blame him? But it wasn't impossible for him to move on. If he just knew that, he could overcome this. At least he'd said he'll think about what I'd said. It was a step towards healing his broken heart.
To be continued . . .
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Next part to follow soon.